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devildomwriter · 2 days

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“Wait, you’re talking about killing a demon?”

“Yes…and not just any demon. The Avatar of Pride himself…Lucifer.”

— MC and Solomon (Chapter 38-12)

#obey me shall we date #obey me mc quotes #obey me solomon #obey me solomon quotes #he’s really still trying to get on Lucifer’s good side #asks us to murder Lucifer then asks lucifer to trust him #obey me chapter 38 #obey me quote of the day #obey me quote #obey me quotes #obey me solomon and lucifer #obey me lucifer and solomon

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authormars · 2 months

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MC: How do angels reproduce?

Simeon: Well, it's a very complicated process and the Father-

Lucifer: Mitosis

MC:

Simeon:

Lucifer, pointing to Satan: Mitosis

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me lucifer #obey me shitpost #obey me satan #obey me simeon #obey me mc #obey me incorrect quotes #i think i'm funny

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kpop-otome-yandere-here · 6 months

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Mc: Hey, dumb slut, get over here.

Mammon, sighing: Okay-

Asmo: I'm coming!

Mammon, confused: I thought... I was dumb slut...

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saturncodedstarlette · 2 months

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Solomon, encouraging MC : —and you’re clearly very powerful now, starlight. You managed to take down a legion of monsters all by yourself without my help.

MC, still doubtful : Do you really think I’m powerful?

Solomon, cradling your face in his palms : I, for one, find you terrifying

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anintrovertedechoe · 1 year

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Lucifer: who the fuck took my demonus i just wanna talk

the brothers knowing that whoever did is fucking dead:

MC: it was me.

Lucifer: what.

MC: it was me.

Lucifer: why??? you literally can’t even get drunk off it????

MC: it tastes like capri sun and i miss it you whore

Lucifer: what the fuck is a capri sun

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tsukii0002 · 6 months

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Mammon: Demons do not feel guilt, that is only for humans and angels.

Solomon: ... *grinning* Remember that cake you ate the other day?

Mammon: Yeah.

Beel: It was delicious

Levi: An Ur+ ranked cake.

Solomon: It was Mc's

Mammon: ...

Beel: ...

Levi: ...

Solomon: They had been working for two weeks to be able to buy it because it was an ultra-exclusive promotion.

Mammon: What-

Solomon: They came home tired every day from work and attending to your selfish needs… all so they could share that cake with everyone *falsely tearing*

Mammon: *crying* I'm a monster!!!

Beel: *sobing* WE are monster!

Levi: *balled up in a corner*

Mc enters the room and sees the brothers crying.

Mc: What have you done?

Solomon: Me? nothing :D

Mc: Don't tell me you are surprised when people tell you that you are more demon than human.

.

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cosmicstarlatte · 1 year

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Diavolo: Do you have representation?

Mammon: I call upon my lawyer MC!

MC: My client is innocent!

Diavolo (pinching MCs cheek): Of course he is, case dismissed!

Lucifer: Lord Diavolo there's crisp clean video of Mammon stealing from-

Diavolo (petting & cuddling MC): MC said he's not guilty, so he's not. What's so hard about that?

Lucifer: MC do you handle murder cases?

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me lucifer #obey me diavolo #obey me mc #obey me incorrect quotes #obey me humor #obey me crack #obey me shitpost #obey me imagines #obey me mammon #Devildom Court #◇˖・ﾟ— › cosmic obey me . ⊹#shitpostcifer

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l3viat8an · 1 year

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*In nightbringer*

Asmo: Do you realise there's a rumour going around that you're in love with MC?

Solomon: A rumour? Are you telling me people are doubting it????

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rainiishowers · 1 month

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Lucifer: *Wears a slightly lighter shade of black*

Asmodeus: I see you're bursting out the spring colors.

———

Mammon, rolling down the car window: what seems to be the problem, officer?

Cop: get the FUCK out of my car

———

Luke: A mosquito tried to bite me and I slapped it and killed it

Luke: And I started thinking

Luke: Like it was just trying to get food

Luke: What if I went to the fridge and it just slammed the door shut and snapped my neck

Luke: How would I feel

Simeon: Are you okay???

———

Mammon: You should always say "please" and "thank you".

Baby! Satan, deadpanned: Please shut the fuck up, thank you.

Mammon: Not what I meant, but still progress!

———

Mammon: *flirts with MC*

MC: *flirts back*

Mammon, internally: i did not plan up to this point. what the fuck do i do now…?

———

Belphegor: *washing the dishes* Who the fuck used this pan??

Belphegor: Wait. I the fuck used this pan...

MC: It was you the fuck

Satan: Who cooks rice in a pan?

Beelzebub: He the fuck

———

MC: If I blended Red Bull, five hour energy, monster, coffee, and hot Cheetos into an Energy Smoothie would it kill me?

Solomon: *shrugs* Only if you die young

MC, getting out the blender: You're so smart

Mammon, running into the room: MC STOP-

———

Satan: I'm gonna open a cat cafe, but I need investors. Here's the plan. The first floor will have normal cats, but as you go up, each floor will have more and more dangerous cats, and at the top floor is me with a gun.

———

Beelzebub: *is carrying all the groceries*

M: *holds out hand to help*

Beelzebub: *aggressively moves all the groceries to one hand to hold MC’s hand*

———

Asmo: And once again, Asmo and Solomon save the day.

Barbatos: You didn't do anything. It was all Solomon.

Asmodeus: We're a package deal. Everyone knows that.

———

Diavolo: Would you kiss me for 1k grimm?

Lucifer: Why?

Diavolo: Just curious

Lucifer, playing along: ..I suppose

Diavolo: [Slams 1k onto the table] would you look at that-

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devildomsoup · 13 days

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Thirteen: MC Why are the brothers running around the streets of the Devildom like a bunch of feral dogs?

MC: They found a hate post about me. So now they're trying to find the person who made it.

Thirteen: Oh.

MC: It was me. I was the one who made it. I wanted some peace and quiet in the house.

Thirteen: I like the way you think.

#obey me shall we date #obey me #obey me incorrect quotes #obey me mc #obey me thirteen #obey me 13

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devildomwriter · 7 days

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“Well, as long as you’re single, what do you think of Lord Diavolo, hm? I can guarantee you he’s quite the catch! And if you act now, you can have his very talented steward Barbatos, too! As a special bonus!”

— Little D. No. 2 to MC (Chapter 25-11)

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villianbell · 20 days

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Family exercise

The teacher:*hands mc a baby with a dark complexion*

Solomon : you have some explaining to do.

Mc: oh I’m so sorry you had to find out this way! Me and my lawyer Simeon have been having an affair!

Simeon : *holding his and asmo doll* what?!

Asmo : SIMEON HOW COULD YOU!

The teacher: please have your family drama out of my classroom….

#obey me incorrect quotes #obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me nightbringer #obey me solomon #obey me mc #obey me side characters #obey me simeon #obey me asmodeus #Obey me RAD

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a-local-idiots-shitpost · 24 days

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Mc: (holding a gun) who made Luke cry?

Simeon: I told you to stop bringing your gun everywhere

Mc: so I should just let people get away with bullying a little kid?

Simeon: ...

Simeon: I'll look away for ten minutes and I hope you're done by then

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me shitpost #obey me incorrect quotes #obey me!#obey me crack #obey me mc #obey me simeon

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kpop-otome-yandere-here · 7 months

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Mc: *laying on a pool chair, unconscious*

Levi, panicking: They're not breathing!

Solomon: I'll give them mouth-to-mouth!

Mc: *opens one eye,* Ew no! Let Mammon do it! *Closes eye*

Lucifer:

Beel:

Solomon:

Satan:

Levi:

Belphie:...

Mammon: GET OUT OF THE WAY, MOTHERFUCKERS!

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valsdelulucorner · 8 days

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MC watching MC go after the 7 brothers, the royals, and the undatables all at once

#valsdelulucorner #obey me nightbringer #obey me #obey me x mc #obey me x reader #obey me one master to rule them all #obey me shall we date #obey me!#obey me brothers #obey me crack #obey me headcanons #obey me hcs #obey me incorrect quotes #obey me imagines #obey me x you #obey me x gender neutral reader #obey me x y/n

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tsukii0002 · 6 months

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Barbatos and Mc are drinking tea in some place in the Demon lord castle.

Mc: *getting very close to barbatos*

Barbatos: ?

Mc: *whispering to him very softly* I swear, if you turn out to be Nightbringer I will open holes in random parts of your room and fill them with families of rats.

Barbatos: *paling*...

Mc: *sipping a sip of tea* Mmm delicious as always.

.

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