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fefern · 3 days

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WHAT ABOUT wuwa men reaction to s/o insecure about their chubby body????

Headcanons that reassure me about my body are just so sweet and feels so right to read.

Maybe s/o became chubby bc of post pregnancy? Idk do wathever you want with that!

(Also your works are just ELITE. Love ya❤️)

✧˖° comforting their chubby lover. | wuwa men headcanons.

⋆ ˚☁️ ⁀➴ synopsis: everyone get's insecure sometimes, especially about their bodies! how do wuwa men comfort you when you're feeling insecure about your chubby figure?

⋆ ˚☁️ ⁀➴ characters involved: wuwa men (minus yuanwu bc I FORGOT IM SORRY TT), afab reader for jiyan and calcharo, gender neutral reader for the rest.

⋆ ˚☁️ ⁀➴ warnings: none!

⋆ ˚☁️ ⁀➴ notes: hi lovely anon! (ɔˆ ³(ˆ⌣ˆc) i hope i do you justice with this ask! i was struggling a bit honestly with the idea of post-pregnancy chubbiness for some of them, so that aspect is only for jiyan and calcharo! the rest of the characters just help the reader with their insecurities over their chubby body! i hope you still enjoy regardless! ♡ (edit: ALSO IM SO SORRY FOR FORGETTING YUANWU HE SLIPPED MY MIND </3)

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅ lingyang ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

will notice right away when you begin to have doubts about yourself and your body.

he’ll become pouty fast, wondering why you seem so downcast, and finding out it’s because you’re insecure will make him quickly gasp in shock.

you? his beloved? insecure about the beautiful body he loves so much?

he’s just as quick to recuperate and reassure you that no, he loves you for all that you’re worth.

he fell in love with you, and that includes your lovely chubby body!

now that he’s aware of your insecurities, he’ll always compliment you about your body when you’re with him in an attempt to combat the anxieties you have about it.

will be the type to cup your cheeks and smooch you all over! no lover of his is going to be down! he’ll immediately try to make you smile about the situation rather than have you dwell in your worries about it.

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅ jiyan ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

the mighty general of the midnight rangers is quick to react when you confess to him your worries about being insecure about your body.

he’s never been critical about how you look ever, in fact, he likes to admire your body quite often, so when you mention that you’re feeling a bit insecure, he’s concerned about his actions first.

once he knows that it’s not his fault for contributing or making you feel this way, he’ll relax a bit, and then calmly ask why you feel this way.

his presence is a comforting one when you explain yourself, patient as ever as he nods along.

“oh, but love, you’re even prettier than ever before after you’ve worked so hard to labor a child into the world.”

will gently hold you in his arms as he rubs your back and comforts you.

he’ll be soft and whisper reassuring things to you, making sure that overall, you know that you feel loved above all and that’s what really matters.

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅ calcharo ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

slowly quirks an eyebrow at you and gives you a confused look.

“but you’re perfect, darling. how can you think that?”

he cannot fathom you being insecure about being chubbier, he thinks honestly post pregnancy that you somehow even look more divine than before.

however, when you keep telling him about the changes and how worried you’ve become because of it, he’ll simply shake his head.

he’ll turn away from whatever he was doing and focus entirely on you now, tilting his head slowly and huffing.

“do not ever think about yourself in that way again. you are the most beautiful person i have been blessed with in my life, and i will be damned if you think that that will ever change simply because your body has changed.”

he’s not the most vocal in reassuring you, but he does change some small things when he’s around you.

calcharo will always make sure you eat and drink plenty of water. he also will take the time to openly admire you more, making sure that you know he adores you.

overall, it breaks his heart that you think this way about yourself, and he truly hopes that you will be able to get over it one day. whatever he can do to help that, he will.

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅ aalto ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

this man loves gathering intel, but this one breaks his heart a little bit as you confess to your insecurities.

aalto will simply stand there for a moment before quickly pouting.

he’ll be there to wipe away any tears you have and just cup your face, making sure you know you feel loved as ever as he gently holds you.

the man will also ask you if anyone has been saying stuff for you to feel this way.

if you say yes, best know that those people will become missing within the next week in order to pay for what has been done to them.

will be extra kind to you now, making sure you’re always filled with compliments or spending extra time together in order to ensure that your insecurities will be slowly whittled down.

it’s a long process, but one he’s willing to commit to just for you. anything to make his lover more confident in the long run.

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅ scar ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

is baffled. shocked. gagged, even.

“but baby, you’re the sexiest person in the universe! what do you mean you feel insecure?!”

he’ll begin rattling on all the things he loves about you, and will not stop unless you cut him off first.

he’ll go uncharacteristically silent for a moment, staring at you as you speak before he shakes his head.

he doesn’t get it. you’re the love of his life, the best thing that has ever happened to him! so how in the world can you feel…insecure?

would physically fight your thoughts if he could, but since he can’t, he settles for helping you strengthen your mental resilliance!

he’ll begin implementing doing daily affirmations with you, and will hold your hands while doing so like the good partner he is.

also will become even more touchy with you, making sure you know that he adores every single aspect of you, even if it’s hard to do so yourself.

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅ mortefi ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

he’s a researcher and logical most of the time due to work, so when you mention your insecurities about your chubbiness to him he’ll look confused.

you’re healthy and happy, so he sees no reason to fret over such trivial matters.

but, seeing how saddened you are by it and how insecure it makes you feel, mortefi will make sure to reassure you in his own little ways.

he’ll mention how you shouldn’t let other people’s perspectives of you feed into how you view yourself! very encouraging, gives cute little facts that’ll help you feel more comfortable in your skin.

he’ll bring the best convincing evidence ever to make sure you see yourself the way that he sees you!

will begin to bring you over to the department of safety more often while he’s working, that way he can murmur sweet things to you and hold your hand quietly as he does his work.

he’d want to make sure that you feel loved, and since he’s always busy with work, he’d bring you along to comfort and compliment your body every chance he gets.

a well meaning sweetheart that uses logic and empathy to care for you and your insecurities.

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omamorens · 2 days

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If you, a divinity amongst mortals, did inkblade headcanons with Oisin and Aelwyn becoming weirdly good friends, and bonding over how they want to be better people for Adaine - it would be extremely delightful, is all <3

AELWYN MY BELOVED of course lovely anon!! this was cooking for so long in my asks i apologize for that

you know what Adaine’s worst nightmares are made of?

its her scheming sneaky older sister being weirdly good friends with the newly reformed and redeemed dragonborn that may or may not have a crush on her.

Adaine isn’t one to assume his affections though (she found out from Aelwyn).

But Aelwyn is definitely not their wingman, mind you

Everything she does is for her entertainment

And seeing her little sister be very skittish around the hot dragonborn trying his best to make amends with Adaine, then you better bet Aelwyn is watching it while eating popcorn

On the other hand, Aelwyn’s tips on how to apologize to Adaine isn’t working so well for Oisin

Adaine avoids him every chance she gets and at some point he even asked Aelwyn to set up a trap or something just to have Adaine hear him out

“That’s not how you apologize, dragonboy.”

“Okay, since you’re so great at it, how did you apologize?”

Aelwyn thinks the real!Oisin is too catty for his own good sometimes

But oddly enough, Oisin knows a lot of stuff about other people (is he just that observant? does he have his own network of spies like Aelwyn does? who knows)

And they bond over shit-talking about other people (they have to be a little bit evil. it comes with the territory im afraid)

Oisin is the type to rant logically too. what i mean is, when he rants, he pulls up a whole ass whiteboard and explains every reasoning as to why this thing infuriates him.

Ivy was his usual audience for his rants, but eventually Aelwyn becomes a regular too.

its actually such a healthy coping mechanism that Aelwyn takes up the same habit too.

but her audience is Adaine and Boggy, and theyre both very supportive of her rants (better she rants than enact physical violence or blackmail because she’s irritated)

Aelwyn and Oisin definitely bond over magic too. Wizards and their little tower of trinkets (but for Aelwyn, its just her apartment and the dozens of cat she has)

Oisin feeds the cats for her sometimes, in exchange for knowing about Adaine’s favorite things (so he can apologize to her with them)

Does it work? Definitely not. Adaine’s forgiveness cannot be bought with material riches

But she does notice how Oisin seems to handle himself better than before (healing looks good on him, though she wouldn’t admit that out loud)

she also gets the nagging suspicion that having Aelwyn and Oisin meet is certainly good for their individual psychological health, but terrible for the rest of Solace (again, being a little bit evil comes with the territory)

i love me some evil (handshake) evil best friendship. sure theyre trying their best to be better people but not much fun being the goody-two-shoes all the time

#omamorens q&a #adaine abernant #oisin hakinvar #aelwyn abernant #fantasy high junior year #fhjy #dimension 20 #d20 #fantasy high #inkblade

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sugar-omi · 10 hours

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Thought about accidentally sending a nude to Cove (or anyone of your choice) 👀

Like MC was trying to send him a picture of something else but accidentally tapped on a nude they took the night before and WHOOPS! Now Cove is going back and forth with himself between typing up a reply and deleting what he wrote and just screaming into his pillow because he just saw his best friend/crush naked and it’s still on his phone screen and he has to see them tomorrow because they always do but he doesn’t know if it’ll be better to see each other tomorrow or wait a bit until things are “less awkward” and he is BURSTING at the seams

Bonus if he feels guilty because he saves the photo anyways for………….. research purposes 👀

MY EYES ARE WIDE OPEN. I DIDNT EXPECT IT TO GO THAT WAY....

that's such a good thought, though... especially if while he's fumbling, you're freaking out, but also way too curious to know what he'll say so you don't delete it...

and in a moment of bravery, text him before he can say anything to your apology or about the image.. "although.. you can keep it if you like"

his eyes FALL out his head. what do you mean he can keep the image?!?;!^!

he probably doesn't even respond. and if he does, it's just a "it's okay" because he's too shaken to say anything else. doesn't know what to say. "you look pretty", "you're so sexy", "thanks for the nude"????

which.. is probably worse than any of those options if you're already nervous n floundering over te accident.

if you want a bit more satisfaction, are genuinely worried you made him uncomfortable, or just reassurance for what you already know... go ahead and ask if he's uncomfortable, or mad at you, or whatever.

it takes a minute but eventually you get a "...no, im not upset.. or uncomfortable..."

please move on after that because if you linger on the topic anymore, he'll be on life support 🙏

and he does hold onto that image... can't bring himself to download it, that's too much for his poor heart. and even though it'd only be proper to delete the message.. he doesn’t. he tries, his finger hovering over the button.

even though you said he could... keep it. he shouldn't, right? no matter how long he sits in turmoil, his respect for you and his teenage hormones raging against each other...

eventually one wins, because he's been so restless all day. his stomach twisting with something foreign. his eyes wandered to your body when he saw you at the beach that day, and he remembered the picture, trying to ignore how his sex throbbed and the subsequent tightening of his shorts...

really, he has more control than this usually. his voice of reason, more like selfconsciousness, too strong.

but his fingers flicker across his phone, and they find the way back to that image, that damn image that's been haunting him. his brain begging him to remember every curve and dip, freckle, and scar on your body.

he knows what your body looks like, you grew up together. he knows where most of your beauty marks are, your freckles, your scars, knows if your skin is seamless, and he's sleepily traced any acne scars on your biceps.

he knows the shape of you, the leanness and the cords of muscle in your arms and thighs. recognizes you just by looking at your back.

so it's not hard for him to imagine your nude body after that, especially since he couldn't tear his eyes away from the screen fast enough when you sent it.

and even now, he's finding any of those hidden treasures right now as his eyes rake over your body, his hand wrapping around his cock as he shamefully imagines you with him. touching him. touching you.

imagines his lips on your hip bones, kissing your body like it's a prayer.

your voice is always so clear in his ears, he can't help but imagine the way you'd call his name... thinks back to all the times you've laughed happily or groaned tiredly, or moaned in pain...

his mind twists the knowledge of you, your lovely voice, and your heavenly touch. imagines you calling his name, gasping at his touch...

finally spills his cum all over his hand, his head collapsing on his pillow, covers his face, sparks of pleasure still running through him...

realizes post nut clarity is fucking real, and he doesn't know how he's gonna be able to look at you tomorrow...

#olba #cove holden #cove holden x reader #smut #cove holden smut #rambles

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thwackk · 2 years

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heeeyyy please talk to me, ask me stupid questions maybe or tell me abt YOUR day because i’m stuck in this car for two hours with nothing to do and also i would love to know abt it actually.

#please #i love talking with people so much #who here has really specific pet peeves. like EXTREMELY specific ones i wanna know #i wish my car could turn into a disco room like that one fucking movie whats it called #i watched i love you man yesterday #gayest straight movie i’ve ever seen #ask me abt my halbarry headcanons i dare you..#pls…#say anything at all i dont care i WILL talk to you abt jt thats a threat #oh i drew catwoman today #what else did i do #nothing #i went to school #oh and yesterday we were gonna decorate the tree for christmas and ive had this batmobile ornament for months just waitinh for christmas #so i could put it onbthe tree and i was so excited but i opened the box and THERE WAS NO FUCIKING STRING!! TO HANG IT WITH!!#i was so dissapointed until mom was like ‘we have strings u can just tie one on there’ and then i felt stupid for being so sad abt it #obvious solutions escape me in times of great distress #im just typing out things as my mind thinks of them

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buwheal · 6 months

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BEACH OUTFIT 💥💥💥💥

He used to surf the web back in 98'.

#the clothes were so difficult for no reason i kept having to edit them #i actually really like this one lol #cunty uncle type thing going on #Also i love the HC that he as a plush tummy thats so cute and im stealing it #i was about to give him flipflops until i realized he cant do that #He had a dolphin print shirt but it looked ugly with the shorts and i really wanted the striped shorts lol #deltarune spamton #spamton #spamton g spamton #spamton fanart #deltarune #deltarune chapter 2 #i think it looks fine but still i hope it comes across he's resting his right arm on an invisible prop for the pose lol #there was a small little fella in the back of my mind who wanted to put him in a two piece but i couldnt sorry lmfao #edit: I forgot to write this out but I wanted to put it on any post bc i dont want to post a txt post just for this #but honestly he's gotta be some flavor of queer.#It doesnt matter to me which type all that much but I HC that even though he probably is #he has never been in a relationship and i dont think he ever will #he is so full of himself and he's kind of an ass tbh. That and i doubt he trusts anyone with what he's gone through #even if he got time to heal i dont think he'd ever trust someone enough to make a real relationship that way #Thats it thanks for coming to my ted talk #if you opened the tags here's your secret paragraph & im not sorry #BuwheArt

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lucalicatteart · 3 months

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A new sculpture! Finally... I feel like I never sculpt anymore since I'm always sick or have some 500 other things going on or projects to finish, but I'm trying to schedule time to do it more often this year hopefully..! Just a generic fantasy creature as usual, but did try making the eyes a little more sparkly this time.. hrmm..

#sculpture #fantasy art #fantasy creature #art #elf #lol what are the tags I should use... I still never know.. EVIL social media.. hate the idea of tagging anything ever anyway. but alas..#I also would ideally like to start selling them again and open up custom commmissions and stuff again once I can hopefully get paypal #stuff sorted out. and find like.. a good way to do things.. etc.. I did still want to sell them through auction instead of agonizing #over setting prices being afraid they're either too high or too low. So being able to just be like. Here. this is $50. or more. or less.#negotiate. the worth is whatever you feel like it is so i personally dont have to make that decision. etc. lol... But etsy doesn't let you #do auctions or like pay what you want type stuff so.. then I was thinking ebay? but idk.. ANYWAY.. I want to set things #up so I can sell stuff again hopefully. I still haven't fully recovered from the costs of when I had to take my cat to the vet and put #them down last year and etc. So it'd be good to sell a few things. perhaps.. maychance... perhamble... so on and so forthe... ANYWAY #I was going for whiter more milky sort of hair that blends in closely with the skintone but after the paint dried it seems more yellowy kin #of. which is fine. But just not exacltly like my mind vision lol..#Also it's like... wow... someone with face spots and elf ears and a half open mouth with a gap tooth and wavy hair and kind of downturned #eyes... revolutionary... never been seen before... every sculpture I have ever made surely doesnt look licherally exactly like this... LOL #but maybe it's just a style. so what. People have their motifs lol.. Im just getting back into sculpting. I shall sameface in peace. huzzah #Just like the only thing I ever carve out of avocado pits anymore is eyes. Because that's just whats fun to do. I'm going to accumulate lik #25 similar avocado eyes and have nothing to do with them. I was thinking of stringing some together into a necklace of eyes or something li #like that but.. hrmm... ANYWAY.. Love to do the same things repetitively. :3c

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icewindandboringhorror · 1 year

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I know multiple of these are likely important to people, but I'm asking in terms of like - which of these do you tend to focus on the MOST, enjoy the most, that is most essential for you to actually care about the media, etc.?

(For example: someone finding "Relatability" most important would likely not enjoy a show much if they have trouble empathizing with the characters/relating to it, even if it were good otherwise. Or, someone might be able to overlook bad acting and ugly costumes, as long as the Character Dynamics are fun to them, because they value that more than Aesthetics- while for others, bad costumes would be a dealbreaker.)

Also feel free to reblog and explain your answer or more information in the tags- I've always been curious about people's relationships to media, how they conceptualize it/what they get out of it, how some people value some parts more than others, how that informs their overall taste and genres they may be more inclined towards, etc. :0c

#I was having a conversation with a friend about our favorite type of media and they said the reason they DON'T like historical or fantasy #media or etc. is because they can't imagine themselves being in those situations like it's too detached from anything that they can relate #to personally. they put themselves in the shoes of the characters and apparently like feel emotions while watching stuff and actually #get into the way the characters are feeling so they kind of judge how 'good' or 'bad' a show's writing/setting/etc. are by how it makes #them feel and if they think the characters reacted realistically based on what they were feeling in the moment/what in their head they #would be feeling if they were in the postion of the character. SO apparently the distance of it being in an unrelatable setting or too #detached from our reality makes it harder for them to relate to and less able to really engage with it on that level. WHEREAS I watch #things exclusively in a very like.. detached way?? I'm INTERESTED.. it's like im intellectually analyzing everyhting that's happening and #can be intrigued by events but it's not in an emotional way? More of like a distant 'intellectual curiosity'. Maybe the premise or the #aesthetics or something about it has piqued an interest for me to observe it. to see what it's like or how it plays out. how the idea #is executed or etc. But like.. I cannot remember EVER really relating to any character or situation or projecting onto a character #or having those sorts of feelings or investment in it. That is just not a central part of why/how I watch things or what I care about #BUT after this I was thinking maybe this is my disconnect? I do not seem to conceptualize media the way some other people do and I often #walk away with an entirely different take on things. etc. So I wonder if maybe it's part of how everyone values different things probably?#maybe I literally just watch stuff and percieve it from a different frame of mind that others. More of a like detached curiosity #vaguely bemused analysis mode. Instead of a 'I am deeply emotionally invested in this and am feeling for all the characters' mode #And also I bet people who care more about plot/story are also the people who mind spoilers. Whereas for me I literally seek out spoilers #intentionally because that element of 'suprise ooh what will happen next!' is not central at all to my enjoyment. I could know literally #everything that will happen and still can find it interesting to observe - since for me #that's not the point. I'd rather know the ending so I can determine whether I want to invest the time in it in the first place. etc.#ANYWAY!! If I had to choose - I would say I'm usually heavily focused on world details and aesthetics. With only a slight preference #towards characters individually being interesting. Group dynamics can sometimes be okay but I get tired of everything being about relations #hips and romance - especially when sometimes it seems to be like. people who could not stand on their own as a character/are fundamentally #boring otherwise lol. I would watch a series of just one guy locked in a closet talking to himself as long as he was interesting and saying #things that were amusing or notable for some reason lol. I actually tend to dislike plot because most 'plot heavy' things like action focus #ed shows ALWAYS feel to me like they're moving so fast just to get from one thing to another that I'm not getting enough details. Part of #why I tend to not like movies. the time limit makes them too quick. I need a 95 hour expostion dump of the history of the entire world #and a series of 17 episodes straight where a guy is trapped in a room & the audience is just psychoanalyzing him. hghj.. Maybe I find all #characters annoying/unrelatable bc people w my personality type make bad characters/are not often represented (or are done BADLY). so then #I'm just picking 'who is the LEAST insufferable? who could i study like a lab rat?' whilst my main focus is the worldbuilding&costumes lol

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nonbinaryaubrey · 1 year

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omori fans when people find out that someone can have more than one best friend.

#SORRYthis feels weird to bring up since i havent seen this type of thing going around in a bit but i just got reminded of it #this kind of goes into the whole thing of like.how to word it.#idk. like. ppl acting like that some members of the friend group didnt care about eachother as much #wording it weirdly but u get my point #liiike. for example. while basil definitely was closest to sunny out of everyone. the others were still his friends #tbh i think this is partially at fault of the game. since we see less interactions between certain characters than others #like kel and mari. we dont get to see them interact much in game #but i think some ppl take that to mean that he. didnt care about her that much. which is wild.#ive gone on and on about those 2 before tho but like.she was his friend too dont forget that #SORRY i think im just aimlessly rambling.#have things. on my mind and im shit at wording them #aubrey.txt

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apple-os · 2 months

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ppl who like making friends solely with one-note cardboard boxes who will hang out with them when it's convenient and never open up about who they are as people and what their lives are like dni

#the salt just caught up with me and now im pissed #hi welcome to what i like to call a friendly reminder that hanging out with someone just because its convenient is kind of shitty #and a less friendly reminder that talking about yourself to connect with people is an autistic trait #and an even less friendly reminder that not telling someone if theyve done you wrong and then proceeding to blow up on them is ALSO SHITTY #ESPECIALLY. WHEN. THEY THINK. YOU'RE ON GOOD TERMS. BECAUSE YOU ACTED LIKE IT AND THEY CAN'T READ YOU.#IM REALLY FUCKING MAD #I THINK I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE.#the people who actually somewhat knew me and hung out with me and were on good terms with me think the same #so like BLEH MYEH :PPPPPPPPP #like okay youre entitled to your opinions but sometimes you need to keep those to yourself #did u see me insulting u to ur face #nope i have not done even once #and thats on getting better communication skills instead of lashing out at someone for trying to fit in with your own vibes #like yeah oversharing is my deal. anybody who sees me here knows that #i bond by being open with people about who i am and what i like in the hopes that theyll do the same #if u think im just around for gaming and making silly jokes u would be wrong.#but of course nobody told me people weren't there to bond like that which in my opinion shouldnt be on me #and once again i am outcasted over something honestly kind of fucking stupid #some of the jokes i made were stupid yes but thats solely because i severely misjudged the vibes #and checks notes oh yeah nobody pulled me up for it even once.#okay so let me get this straight you barely know me and have been making assumptions about me since day one #pretty much let me believe you liked me for two whole weeks instead of asking me about things or cutting me off #and im the one who gets treated like im in the wrong? okay #this miscommunication was not my fault in the slightest and i KNOW that #if you hadve just talked to me things would be fine but theyre NOT.#if you hadve just looked at my gosh darn profile and seen im the queerest fucker around making gay and homophobic type jokes maybe you woul #have had half the mind to ask me if i could stop making those jokes!!!!!!!!!#i am not transphobic!!!!!!! I AM TRANS!! I WAS MAKING A MOCKERY OF SOME TRANSPHOBIC CULTURE I HATE!!!!#i mightve vented on main ONE TIME under the guise of a silly joke but oh my god guess what?? that was an attempt to see if anybody related.#you never liked me in the first place dont lie to yourself

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toastsnaffler · 4 months

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everyone say thank u to my roommate for going to visit her parents this weekend so I can jack it loud and nasty 🙏

#i love her but there are some benefits to having the flat to myself.... love getting to wander around in just my boxers + a tshirt too #things i could do while she was still here if i wasnt a pussy 🙄#jk itd just make her uncomfortable and im too respectful for that #having a lowkey crush on her is an endless comedy to me bc we would be so woefully incompatible romantically #and also sexually.. historically ive only ever stone topped bc ive never been comfortable enough w anyone to let them fuck me #despite very much Not being stone or exclusively a top. and i think shes some form of sex repulsed anyway so like. sits there dead silence #and also shes so in love with her other friends and i showed up late to that party.... ive been feeling kinda guilty lately bc ik-#she misses them a lot and wishes we'd be able to stay roommates w them too. and im a pretty poor replacement for them tbh #and i love spending time with her but whenever i do i feel kinda painfully aware im not them like i could never fill that space #and asking to hang out more with her always feels like im taking away from time she could be talking to them. or even being alone ik she-#likes her own company and i get that a lot too so its chill but ahh.. man #i dont mean this in a bitter or jealous way at all like theyre all such sweet ppl i couldnt ever hold it against them #theyre kind of a 3 headed cerberus type situation and im like. the stray puppy they found on the side of the road #theres nothing they can do differently i was just born to be alienated from other ppl forever until i die. and someday i hope ill-#finally get used to it and accept i wont ever feel like im enough for anyone else or feel like anything else is enough for me #old wounds healed over 5082 times that still hurt to touch but i cant help pressing my fingers into them anyway bc its a familiar pain etc #anyway lost where i was going with this its just been on my mind again recently. i hate to be pitied i hate to feel like im only included-#bc they didnt want me to feel left out i hate feeling like a shoddy secondhand stand-in and its been a lot of that lately #also been a little annoyed bc sometimes it feels like shes trying to micromanage my social life and girl. we're not close enough for that #im sure its well intentioned but im not part of what they have going on i cant compete in that ring so dont try to push me into it..#ahhh. its all ok tho one of the guys is coming to visit next month which will be rly fun but ill try to give them some space too #its good at least im doing this processing now bc group situations can be spike traps of triggers for me sometimes #regardless of how good friends i am w ppl and ive already had a wobble a few weeks ago w how i cope and i dont want it to become a #fully fledged regular issue again bc its so hard to crawl back out of that pit. anyway losing coherence here im gonna stop rambling #and go make myself an early dinner and then back to drawing........#sorry for long tags if ur reading this blows u a kiss but go find a better use of ur time girl!!#.diaries

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totentnz · 8 months

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if johnny only sees what v sees, does that mean he cant see them? it does right? or does he see them the way they *think* they look like? does johnny see who v sees in the mirror? in photos?