Why does anyone ever listen to anything this dipshit says.

Anyways kinda weird that this post’s flying around Twitter at the same time huh?

"No one cares if women / transmascs / afab people wear pants and boy clothes!!!"

On my knees begging you to talk to people who grew up in religious fundamentalist communities and high control groups / cults

Young trans men will come online, looking for community, guidance, and support only to be pushed away and mocked for expressing any vulnerability and insecurity, as if they were naive to think they deserved any ounce of care.

The cruelty is especially jarring when it's presented as some sort of common sense. Is it common sense to tell trans boys, because some of these people are boys, 13-15-17 years old, that they should expect and accept adversarial reactions because of their boyhood and masculinity because that's just what being a man is?

These are trans people, trans children, which everyone seems to care about so much when it comes to legislation, but a lot less when they actually express needs and wants beyond 'I wanna be alive'

why can't trans boys be met with comfort when they express their pain to older members of the community?

What kind of trans elder are you going to be if in your twenties and thirties you are telling trans boys that it's normal for other queer and trans people to isolate them because of their gender?

A shit elder, that's what you are going to be, a shit fucking elder who at best will be left alone in your toxic circles and at worst will actively harm younger trans people.

the idea that testosterone is a dangerous hormone that inherently makes someone domineering and difficult to be around is transphobic all round, leaning on bioessentialism.

for trans men and transmascs, we are warned against medical transition for fear that we may lose our agreeableness and perceived passivity. we are seen as potential aggressors after going on it.

trans woman and transfems have any testosterone in their system, whether on hrt or not, held over them like an original sin that can not be escaped that positions them as more aggressive and dangerous. it is seen as something that threatens their womanhood and can be brought up against them at any time to revoke it.

testosterone is not an evil hormone. it does not change your moral character. it does good for some and bad for others, like any other hormone.

A society that hates cis women will also hate trans men. In addition to suffering all the misogyny directed at cis women, trans men will also suffer the misogyny that interacts with transphobia.

Stop conceptualizing trans men as if they have the same position as cis men within the patriarchy.

Please love transmascs in a world that hates us. I’m begging you not to blindly adhere to the narrative that insists we have it easy.

We experience the highest sexual violence rates of any gender category. We are being assaulted and killed. Dominant narratives consider us delusional, mentally ill little girls. Others treat us as violent sexual predators. Our reproductive abilities are considered unnatural and disgusting. We experience adverse health outcomes. We are left out of conversations and erased from histories.

We also experience the increased bullying, discrimination, suicidality, substance use issues, homelessness, poverty, etc. that come with being transgender.

Please love transmascs in a world that hates us.

"Affirmation" & Malgendering

"Fine, I'll 'respect' your gender, but I'll make it absolutely miserable for you. What? You don't like the way I'm 'affirming' your gender? Guess you'll have to stop being a (trans) man then."

I want to put something out there about what I call "malgendering". I see trans men talk about the phenomenon and acknowledge it as a part of antitransmasculinity but not the concept of "malgendering" itself and what it's purpose is, and as trans men and transmasculine people are especially caught in the lose-lose situation between misgendering and malgendering I think it is an important concept to establish. The erasure of transmasculinity, particularly as a unique gender and gendered experience, also serves to keep the transmasculine trapped within this double-bind, positioned between the gender binary of cis patriarchal ideas of womanhood and manhood, where for us there is only misgendering (being abused with the Woman gender) or malgendering (being abused with the Man gender).

I define malgendering as the practice of "validating" someone's gender identity only when it can be used against them and to hurt them, and malgendering almost always involves the enforcement of only the most negative sexist stereotypes available onto the victim with none of the "positives". If misgendering is forcefully pushing you back into your 'proper place' such as by calling you a "girl" or a "her" and showing you that you're really a woman through sexual assault -malgendering is scaring and traumatizing you into it by using your own gender against you. Malgendering is the realization that you don't need to misgender someone to hurt them or to punish them for the way they identity and push them towards the gender they're 'supposed' to be - you can do all that through 'validation'. It's psychological warfare on the sense of self.

This violence and abuse under the guise of "respect" and "identity affirmation" creates plausible deniability of intent and places the blame on the victim for "identifying that way", so much so that even other trans people will defend it and believe it's not maligned (especially because "but being seen as and treated as your gender is what trans rights is all about!" and "errm but its transphobic to not treat u this way?/ur misgendering urself by wanting to not be treated this way :/" with the hidden message being "don't like it? stop being trans"), even when faced with evidence of the (very much intended) effects it has on stalling and outright eliminating transmasculinity (ie. repression, detransition, suicide).

Some examples I can pull off the top of my head:

A transphobe is talking about a pregnant trans man. The whole energy of the Facebook video is 'comedic', and while calling birth the most “feminine” thing someone can do and alluding to how the trans man is really a woman, they still use he/him and call him a “guy” (in air-quotes). Not out of any respect but because the idea of a man being pregnant, calling a pregnant person a "he", and the very existence of the trans man in question, is the whole joke. In doing so, the transphobe has turned the act of using the proper pronouns and gendering him into a source of humiliation and made the experience of being properly gendered a demeaning one. -

The Ukraine military situation where all males aged between 18 and 60 were banned from leaving the country and obliged to serve in the military. Trans women were denied passage out of the country "because they were men", and trans men were similarly denied passage out of the country "because they were men". With the discrepancy between invalidating the gender of trans women and "validating" the gender of trans men, you'd think the motivation behind this would be obvious - that trans people are expendable meat and it's better they die than cis people. It shouldn't of needed to be said that "I'm only affirming your gender because it allows me to put you in a position where you will likely suffer and die and put the blame for it on you" is not 'respect' or 'affirming' at all but somehow this was taken as evidence for the idea of that trans men are more 'respected' and seen as their genders than others (and are thus 'privileged'). -

A common one almost every trans guy deals with at some point is cis people threatening to beat trans men up (and often following through), because "If you're a man and not a woman (anymore) that means I can punch you," using the proximity to masculinity that transmasculine people claim as a justification for violence. Every other week there's a new story in online transmasculine spaces about someone having their ribs broken with "Since/if you want to be a man so bad-" preceding the attack. -

The above is in a similar vein to when accounts of violence done to transmasculine people by cisgender men are brushed off and they're told something along the lines of "welcome to being a man", "that's just what men do to each other", "that's just the way things are with men", etc. along with the insistence that their attack had nothing to do with antitransmasculinity, making it an immutable problem with (cis)men as a whole - creating a sense hopelessness and that this is all they have to look forward to. -

Transmasculine individuals being refused treatment, tests, or insurance for gynecological issues, especially cancer, despite the knowledge that they are transmasculine, because "men don't deal with these problems" and they don't want "men in women's spaces", and if you don't want to be 'treated like a man' and get the care you need (and not die), you're going to have to go ahead and detransition, change that M marker back to an F.

All of this functions to create contention, and eventually a rift, between the individual and their sense of gender identity. Creating an association between being gendered 'correctly' and 'respected' as your gender (and ultimately existing as a transmasculine person) with abuse, violence, helplessness, trauma, fear, isolation... and by making transmasculinity and transmanhood uninhabitable and driving a wedge between the individual and their sense of gender identity you can more easily drag them back to their 'proper' place. Plant seeds of doubt by making being transmasculine an exceedingly unhappy experience. Make them think that everything that's happened is their own fault for choosing to be transmasculine or trying to be a man. That maybe since they're so unhappy this isn't for them. That living as a transmasculine person is just too difficult and they're not cut out for it, that if they "gave up" and were to be women again things would be easier and they would be safer and happier.

This also all serves to maintain cis patriarchal ideas of gender and the gender binary and police the boundaries of manhood, in a way I can't articulate right now.

Through all this, despite being called "men" during malgendering, we are not actually perceived as such. We are always an "other". Acknowledging us as "men" is just another weapon, and why some transmascs flinch at the phrase "trans men are men". Our own genders are used to beat us.

Using a scrap from my .txt journals:

"[...] on the subject of having a core aspect of yourself taken from you and turned into a weapon to beat you with, with the result being that aspect of yourself now becoming a source of trauma and pain so you abandon it and lock it away like an awful secret, that’s exactly what happened with my gender. Being genderless and a(nti)binary is what I’m most comfortable as, a(nti)gender is my ~real gender~, but I have to admit a lot of this is because I have been traumatized out of any gender with binary associations and have consequently come to know gender itself, and the act of gendering, as violence. Gender is but a designation for what exploitation, abuse, and violence can be enacted upon you and the justification there of. When someone asks whether you are "masc" or "femme", behind their back as they face you is a hammer in one hand, and a knife in the other, and what they are actually asking is if they can pummel you or lacerate you. When it comes to the “direction” I’m transitioning in though, it is obviously “masculine” (as much as a negation of "femininity" is always taken as stepping towards "masculinity") and you wouldn’t be entirely wrong to call me “transmasculine”, though I have been scared to death of being acknowledged as such."

My first encounter with malgendering was when I was 13 and had just started to realize I was "ftm" and looking for community online. My first exposure to any affirmation of transmasculinity was someone I came to respect reblogging a post about how Kill All Men includes trans men. This would set the precedent of the next decade of my life of existing while transmasculine. A decade of only hearing the words "trans men" and "transmasc" used negatively and as the butt of jokes that served to reinforce patriarchal ideas of gender. The consistent and relentless denial of transmasculinity as a unique gender and gendered experience, the denial of transmasculine reality especially in regards to misogyny, and continuous abuse and threats of violence, all under the guise of affirming trans men's genders as men (and affirming the gender binary in the process). A decade of having antitransmasculine sentiment fed to me in every way possible.

For me, the experiences of antitransmasculinity and malgendering from non-transmascs has effectively "chased" me out of my transmasculinity and any acknowledgement of it. For years I have hidden my transmasculinity and presumed "AGAB" out of fear, even in queer and supposedly trans-friendly spaces. I have not been able to associate with any “masculine” language in reference to myself without feeling that I am in imminent danger, have made a grave mistake, and suffocating in anticipation of punishment. I have always been scared of posting any of my art that eludes to my transmasculinity. I have always been terrified of being referred to or perceived as “transmasc”, a “trans man”, of being called a "guy" or “dude” or “bro”, of using "he/him" anywhere. All of it. Deep down on some level I do desire it, but it’s been forbidden and only aggravates existing wounds.

And this, in turn, pushed me out of associating with other transmasculine folks out of fear and internalized antitransmasculinity towards other transmasculine people, isolating me from any community or connection with anyone similar to me, exacerbating my loneliness and alienation as a youth to the point where now as an adult my ‘normal’ human social needs – connection, community, relationships, empathy – are completely broken. I don’t feel loneliness anymore, or the desire to connect to anyone, despite in ways being even more alone now than I was then. In a way I believe antitransmasculinity shaped the path of my schizoidism. Isolating and divorcing me from my transmasculinity and the world at large is what I understand to be yet another point of this type of antitransmasculine rhetoric - because when you've destabilized and isolated someone from their whole sense of self and community, they are much easier to control.

The fact i tried to mention transandrophobia on a live panel I was on, and was not listened to in the slightest and Ran off the live by multiple non-transmascs, one of whom flat out lied abt transmasc murder stats, and how transmascs are treated under the patriarchy, and by another person who flat out stated the belief that transmascs face similar levels of violence as transfems was "unreasonable" speaks fucking volumes.

"T makes you a mansplainer" so true! i never shut up about how much i love men and being a man. like have you seen men? especially trans and intersex men? they're literally the meaning of life. some of the most beautiful beings on this planet. i could listen to them talk forever. what? you meant to insult me? oh well haha that sounds like a you problem. anyway i love testosterone. poison? more like self love potion. i love me.

The reason why you can't seperate our transness from our manhood is the exact same reason why transmisogyny is one word.

Its not just transphobia and misogyny. It's transmisogyny. The discrimination transfems face isn't discretely divided into 2 categories. Those experiences overlap in a way where you can't adequately address one without acknowledging the other. That's why it was crucial to come up with vocabulary to describe this intersection. To seperate them is to attempt to erase intersectionality.

In the same way, you can't adequately address the oppression transmascs face without addressing all aspects of our identity.

Manhood and/or masculinity in isolation may not be targeted by a specific axis of oppression; but when they intersect with a marginalized identity, they become a target for gendered violence. Because our manhood does not, and cannot, exist removed from the context of our transness and life experiences. That is the entire purpose of intersectionality.

To remove our manhood / masculinity from that equation is to refuse to view us holistically, and is an attempt to seperate us from our identity - exactly the same way transphobes do.

The term intersectionality was coined by Kimberlé Crenshaw, a black woman, who was pointing out that her various identities do not exist independently, rather, they inform each other, and create a convergence of social positions.

White feminists did not (and often still don't) acknowledge the ways that other axes of identity and oppression inform misogyny. They excluded women of color from the conversation because they did not want to discuss how racism intersects with misogyny. There was similar silencing of queer and disabled women, as well, for the same reason.

By telling us "it's because you're trans, not because you're men" you're just repeating history. The marginalization of non-hegemonic manhood and masculinity is a very real axis that must be addressed when discussing the oppression of trans men and transmascs - as well as other marginalized men.

If you refuse to hear about this aspect of our experience, our voices will never truly be heard. You are actively contributing to our erasure and to our continued harm.

I am a transgender man. I am a whole person. Treat me as such.

really like viewing anti transmasculinity through the lens of consumability. because ive seen so often things be framed as "transmasculinity isn't as interrogated because masculinity isn't as scrutinized" but I think it's much better to view it as transmasculinity being unpalatable to transphobic misogyny. like part of how the patriarchy constructs womanhood is that it is inherently desirable in the sense that women Must be something to be consumed. any part of woman(-ified people) that isn't palatable (body hair, bodily functions) is erased.

@pallpokipoki is a terf psyop blog trying to sow division between transmascs and transfems. they use the language transmascs coined to describe their own oppression to make the claim that transfems are "amab supremacists" and that transmasc advocacy should be "sex conscious". (aka reduce people to their agab.) block and report them. anyone who tries to claim that one type of trans person is out to get another type of trans person is a fed and they do not deserve legitimacy in our communities.

This is such an anti-transmasc, entitled and honestly sexist thread.

Trans men don't exist to serve and idolize you, they own you nothing.

Trans men's place is not subservience to transfems (but solidarity).

Trans men will continue to be targeted by misogyny even if they turn a blind eye on their social situation, even if you try to shame them by calling them “birthay boys” when they acknowledge being oppressed.

''Being a man'' does not mean denying that you are oppressed because you are recognized by society as a woman or as a gender considered worthy of being subjected to misogyny. You are trying to push patriarchal expectations on a gender oppressed group.

This is the type of person who will exhort trans men to "be men" (adopt patriarchal gender roles) and use that and their identity against them when it will suits them. Anything a trans man does will be used against him.

i do not like the term transandrophobia, i would like to briefly summarise why.

to me, the term transandrophobia implies that androphobia exists and it does not. men are not systemically oppressed by any means and it is strange, to me, to have that term there to validate that. even if you think of black men, disabled men, queer men, etc, it is not on strictly terms of their maleness that they are oppressed. taking an intersectional approach, we can indeed acknowledge how gender modifies how one may experience racism, ableism, queerphobia etc but i think implying men face significant institutional barriers is foolhardy at best.

i dislike how the term is used as opposition to transmisogyny. the oppression of trans men and transmascs works in tandem and as an symbiotic amplifier to the oppression of trans women and transfems, not as opposition. trans women and transfems do not benefit from ‘transandrophobia’ the way it is implied. they can not tangibly oppress us. the theorist Nsambu Za Suekama very particularly pointed this out with anti-transmasculinity.

that does lead to my next point which is that i believe anti transmasculinity is a better term altogether. it points out the link with transmisogynoir and how colonised people are policed by it in particular, removing gender expanses to justify a singular white cishet patriarchy nexus. please read her work for an introduction:

i think it is fine for transmascs and men to have language to describe the particular nuances of how transphobia affects us but we can do so much better than something like transandrophobia.

https://www.patreon.com/qittycorner ⬅️this her patreon so pay her if you appreciate her work

The reason why transmascs talk about how they still expierence misogyny (in addition to/it's a part of antitransmasculinity) is bc the way we're often spoken to and treated is very similar (if not exactly the same) to how we were treated before coming out

Hi everyone, I’ve just created a community on Reddit to discuss transandrophobia. I don’t know about all of you but I really need to get off this site right now, but don’t want to stop talking about transmasc experiences. I figure it’ll help give us a fresh start and make it easier to keep TERFs and transandrophobes out. I’d love to have help filling it out a bit. It’s r/transandrophobia. Thank you.

Edit: I’d appreciate a reblog for visibility if you get a chance! Tysm <3