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incorrect-batfam-quotes-mostly · 18 hours

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Dick, writing in his diary with a glitter gel pen: “I’m losing my sense of humanity. Nothing matters. God is dead. There is blood on my hands.”

#batfam #dc #batfam incorrect quotes #dc incorrect quotes #batman #dick grayson

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ambriel-angstwitch · 2 days

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Jason: Were gonna break some laws

Steph: Cool! Laws of what? Physics, morality or the United States?

Jason: Yes. That's the order we're gonna break them in.

#jason todd #steph brown #stephanie brown #dc spoiler #the spoiler #dc red hood #red hood #dc incorrect quotes #batfam incorrect quotes #dc batfam #batgirl #batfamily #batfam #batfamily incorrect quotes #source: cass apocalyptic series

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yourlocal-edgelord · 3 days

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batfam as stuff i do

Alfred: I’m too old to deal with this shit, but i have to deal with this shit because my idiots caused this shit (in my case the idiots are my friends)

Bruce: We stay up tonight and overwork our life awayyyyy

Dick: Made a nano tape bubble first try after sibling failed 15 times

Jason: Ooh a new book? Dont mind if i do

Tim: Dropped my orbeez? time for a mental break down

Steph: Fuck math, fuck anything to do with math, math absolutely sucks

Cass: Conditioned my hair again for the first time in a long time, now i look like wonder woman

Duke: Starting a fake cult between me and my friends doesnt count as an actual cult right?

Damian: Random kitty on the street? Cmere kitty lemme pet you, ‘can i take it home?’

#batfam #batfamily #tim drake #jason todd #dick grayson #stephanie brown #cassandra wayne #cassandra cain #batfam headcanons #duke thomas #alfred pennyworth #steph brown #damian wayne #bruce wayne #batfamily headcanons #batfam shenanigans #batfam incorrect quotes #batsiblings

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ryemiffie · 1 day

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More quotes from my day as batfam incorrect quotes:

Jason, through his headset: All I wanted was recognition!

Batman, in the batburger drive-through: And all I wanted was a burger! Why do you work here??!

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blu3fiish · 11 hours

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My out of context group chat as the Batkids (2):

#dc #tim drake #jason todd #damian wayne #dick grayson #stephanie brown #duke thomas #batfam incorrect quotes

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celaenaeiln · 15 days

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Bird: *whistling*

Dick: *whistling back*

Bird: *whistling harder*

Dick: *copying it*

Bird: *excitedly hopping around and whistling a tune*

Dick: *grinning and copying back*

Bruce: Nightwing, stop that.

Dick: why? We’re just whistling

Bird: *chirping in agreement*

Bruce: *glaring at the bird* such a behavior is a security risk. You’re needed on fourth. *taking off into the night*

Dick: ..??? What was that all about?

Tim: *over comms* Bruce thinks all birds are government spies

Dick: What? That’s dumb!

Tim: …mhmm

Dick: Tim, don’t tell me you believe it too. That’s ridiculous!

Tim:

Tim: ...it has plausible theory!

Dick: ...oh my god Tim.

Bird: *sad chirping noises*

Later

Dick: You know, there's another reason why I know they aren’t government spies.

Tim: and why’s that?

Dick: *holding back his laughter* Because they’re whistleblowers

Tim: ... :0

Tim: oh my god they're whistleblowers

Dick: okay no.

#dick grayson #nightwing #tim drake #red robin #bruce wayne #batman #batfam incorrect quotes

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91-1lover · 2 months

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What if Damian and Tim love each other and even like? It's just more of a situation "Manipulating others is easier ". Maybe an example will help;

Damian: Father, May I go to Zoo today?

Bruce:No Damian, you're grounded.

Tim:Oh, that's bad. I could go with you to take photos of otter, but if you are not going I think I will stay too. What's a zoo without company. Maybe I will go with Kon next week.

Bruce *Super happy in a moment of thinking his youngest kids getting along*: If you two agree not to kill each other, Damian can go

Tim and Damian:*Knowing looks*

Or situation like;

Tim who has abandoned issues and is having fear of people leaving him: Dick is mad at me. Can you stab me so he will be in his mother hen mode Instead?

Damian who would like to have 5 minutes of peace from Grayson: Say no more

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elecilaombre · 2 months

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Tim * holding a can of Pepsi * : Do you guys want some Pespi ?

Jason* laughing* : Some what ?

Tim : Pespi .

Duke : It's PePsi not PeSpi Timmy.

Tim : That's what I said Pespi.

Tim : Pespi

Duke : Please would you...

Tim * interrupting Duke * : Pespi

Tim * shrugging* : It's normal it's because I'm ambidextrous.

Damian : Ambidextrous ?

Stephanie * chirping in* : He means Bisexual !

Dick * at the same time * : He means bilingual !

Bruce * tired dad™* : He means he has dyslexia.

#tim drake #batfam #jason todd #batfamily #dc comics #dick grayson #bruce wayne #damian wayne #duke thomas #stehanie brown #batfam incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes

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goodoldfashionedengineer · 3 months

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The only time when all the batkids will work together in perfect harmony is to prank Bruce.

And for the best prank all they needed was a few label makers.

Labels are put on everything.

On every mug, on every plate, on every bandaid package.

The chocolate bars are labeled "BatSnack".

The fruits become "Batana", "Batricot" and "Batermelon".

Every button on the microwave, every key on the keyboard, it all gets a label.

"Batstop button", "Batstart button", "Bat-A-key", Bat-Enter-key".

Bruce's desk isn't simply the "Batdesk". It is the "Batwood construction surface".

There is a label beneath the desk too.

Originally named "underside of Batwood construction surface".

It takes days, weeks, months to remove all the labels.

Until one day, when Bruce makes a few new installations in the cave.

Surely some higher being is laughing at him right now, Bruce thinks, as he pulls of the last one.

"Batceiling"

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iwannabealice · 3 months

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clark: i met this boy last night that seemed to really hate you

bruce: that could be anyone, what did he look like?

clark: tall, white, dark hair, really big-

bruce: ah, that’d be jason. my son

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incorrect-batfam-quotes-mostly · 17 hours

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Bruce: Sorry I accused you of arson.

Jason: No hard feelings. I was the obvious suspect.

#batfam #dc #batfam incorrect quotes #dc incorrect quotes #batman #bruce wayne #jason todd

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strawberry-forest-does-stuff · 4 months

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#batfam incorrect quotes #batfam #batfamily #nightwing #dick grayson #red hood #jason todd #red robin #red robin dc #tim drake #tim drake is a menace

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ktkat99 · 7 months

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Anytime Damian is upset with Alfred for whatever reason, he does thing that he THINKS normal rebellious kids do.

Dick- Damian, what are you doing

Damian, not even looking up- Pennyworth grounded me from patrol until I've recovered. Therefore, I am playing my DS on the couch all day.

Dick- Wow. Really sticking it to the man, aren't you?

Damian- I could be reading a book right now. Something that could benefit my future. But nooooo. I'm acting out.

Jason- Dude, just stop

Damian- Why? We all know his favorite part of dinner preparation is chopping the vegetables. Imagine his face when he finds that everything has already been diced to perfection?

Jason- ... I'm going to have to teach you how to egg houses, aren't I?

*Taylor Swift playing over the speakers throughout the entire manor*

Bruce- Alfred, what's with the music?

Alfred- Master Damian intends to annoy me into letting him patrol tonight.

Bruce- And you... don't like Taylor Swift?

Alfred- He believes that we all enjoy Bach as much as he does.

Alfred- Master Dick is currently convincing his other siblings to take the opportunity to throw a dance party

#batman #batfam #batbrats #damian wayne #bruce wayne #robin #nightwing #dick greyson #jason todd #red hood #batfam incorrect quotes

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arrowmaker15 · 6 months

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(Red Hood and Red Robin sitting on a rooftop while on patrol)

*silence*

Red Hood: Wanna fake a fight to make B think I'm turning back into a supervillain?

Red Robin: Oh, definitely.

#dc comics #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #batfam incorrect quotes #jason todd #tim drake #red hood #red robin #these two are chaotic together #believe it or not #it makes everyone very nervous #brothers Tim and Jason #because I need it

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nightwolf14292 · 2 months

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I like to imagine that if any of the Bat-Kids are out in public, whether they be getting food, shopping, patrolling, just walkin' around, whatever, that if they see the Bat-Signal pop on it's an unspoken rule between the siblings that they have to throw on their costume and try and find/deal with the trouble before Bruce gets there. Just to annoy him.

Batman: "Commissioner Gordon! I got here as fast as I could.. What's the situation?"

Commissioner Gordon: "Oh, Batman, thank you for coming.. It's alright, though, it's already been taken care of by these fellows."

*Gestures to the side where there's a couple of muggers sitting tied up next to Nightwing(He has pink, glittery shopping bags hanging all over his arms), Red Hood(He's rummaging through the bags Nightwing is holding, trying to find the black nail polish he just bought to touch up his nails after the fight), Red Robin(He's sipping a cup of coffee that he accidentally stole because he ran out of the cafe so quickly that he forgot to pay), and Robin(He's chowing down on a kids' meal from Bat-Burger)*

Batman: ...

Batman: *Subtle annoyed glare*

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tims-missing-spleen · 2 months

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I remember seeing someone say that Bruce wouldn't deny the Batman allegations. Like he will proudly tell everyone he is most definitely the Batman whenever he's asked, and it would actually do wonders with keeping the secret hidden.

Like it would be more suspicious than anything if billionaire playboy Brucie Wayne so adamantly denied any connection to the vigilante.

And yeah, so i was thinking what would his kids think about it? like they get asked during interviews and whatnot what they think about their dad being Batman.

I feel like Dick would just play along and say some shit like "if B is Batman, then I'm Nightwing" and get a look from the man

And Jason would take any opportunity to shit on B and say something along the lines of "B's Batman? I call bullshit. He's not even a man"

Tim would either:

a. pull up a 99 slided presentation about how Bruce Wayne is, in fact, NOT Batman and be internally laughing the whole time cause he is funny, and people just dont know what they're talking about.

Or b. (only when he's been up for a few days) confirm it and go "Well yes, of course he is. It'd be weird if he wasn't since the cave's under the house."

Cassandra would just smile and stare into the person's soul until they move on onto the next question.

Steph would deny it and claim that she's Batman and that Bruce is her Robin. She'd probably also manage to convince a few people to join her.

Duke would be like "He's Batman? Ohhh that explains the explosives I found in the cellar!" or something else, just as worrying.

Damian would just nod and go into a full length speech about how Batman is the best superhero (after Nightwing of course) and completely disregard the question. And before anyone can re-ask, he'd just walk off.

#batfam incorrect quotes #bruce wayne #batfam #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #cassandra cain #stephanie brown #duke thomas #damian wayne #idk what else to tag #dc comics #batman

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