I hate canon Bruce Wayne hitting his kids so how does he discipline them WITHOUT abuse?
(where's that post about how anything can be a punishment if you frame it as one)
———————
Dick: *breaks the chandelier while swinging from it*
Bruce: *hands him a broom*
Dick: Yeah that's fair.
Bruce: Also you have to use the Batman plate at dinner.
Dick: Please no, I hate that plate.
Bruce: You should've thought about that before.
———————
Tim: *logs into the Batcomputer without permission*
Bruce: And what do you think you're doing?
Tim: I know I've been benched but I just need to—
Bruce: Sit.
Tim: *sits down*
Bruce: *puts on The Bee Movie*
Bruce: If you insist on being down here while injured, then you're gonna watch this in its entirety.
———————
Cass: *blinks*
Bruce: And you think that's an excuse?
Cass: *blinks*
Bruce: We're going for a drive and I'm picking the music.
Cass: *blinks*
Bruce: Maybe you'll take this as a lesson.
———————
Jason: *causes a crime scene*
Jason: Go ahead, punish me. I'll still be right.
Bruce: *takes out a marker*
Bruce: *draws a mustache on Jason's helmet*
Bruce: It'll wash off in three weeks.
Jason: WHAT?!
Bruce: Actions have consequences.
———————
Steph: *breaks protocol*
Bruce: Go change your cape in the car.
Steph: That's not fair!
Bruce: That's the rule.
Steph: *grumbles and puts on a cape that's a slightly different shade of purple from the rest of her suit*
———————
Duke: *sneaks in after curfew*
Bruce: *flicks the light on*
Bruce: Do you know what time it is?
Duke: I can explain—
Bruce: Yogurt. Now.
Duke: But I don't want yogurt.
Bruce: I don't care. Go eat a cup of yogurt and think about what you did.
———————
Damian: *drops his fork at dinner*
Damian: Fuck.
Bruce: *pulls out a straw*
Damian: You wouldn't.
Bruce: *takes a sip of Damian's drink*
Damian: I hate this family.
Dick, eating off the Bat-plate: You and me both.
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I went to the comic store on my bday and issue 2 of Boy Wonder was sold out, so I drew this to cope. I’ll have to wait for my order to come in next week 🥲 literally waited months for this issue I’m so salty
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Next time Jason Todd dies, one of the bats just shouts "YES! I win" and the rest have to hand over their money. They were making bets on how long it would take this time
Bruce was not amused. Jason was
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I absolutely love this panel. Jason just sitting on top of all the henchmen he knocked out, Bruce dragging the guys he beat up behind him, the sass, the banter. "Age before beauty, chum". I love Detective Comics, it is just so much fun
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AU where Damian is mourning his father and desperate to believe it isn’t real so he’s the one to listen to Tim when he says Bruce is alive, when Dick dismisses him, so he plops himself down next to Tim and refuses not to help him even though they hate each other, and they drag each other kicking and screaming on the worst road trip of all time
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When Tim hid the secret Batmobile in the batarang budget, I like to think he wrote an itemized list of every. Single. Batarang. So Bruce would skip over it and just give him the money
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one time when Damian was injured during patrol, he snuck into Dick's apartment but his older brother wasn't around because he had a double shift. so he took care of his own injuries and made his own hot cocoa.
while he was sipping on the hot drink, Damian was wandering around the apartment and saw the tape of the movie, Clueless, on the coffee table. he ended up watching it until he was capable to come back home, as the rest of the tapes were taken by Jason.
---
a day at the Manor:
Steph: I think that formula is not right, Dami.
Jason: That lacks more carbon.
Duke: Oxygen perhaps.
Dick: It lacks more than that.
Cass: I'll ask Bruce what we lack.
Damian: I'm right, okay? Why don't you put your trust in me?
Dick: Hey, it's not that we don't trust you. We just want this formula to be as accurate as possible.
Cass: No failures allowed, Dami.
Damian: You know what...
Damian, uses both of his hands to form a W: Whatever.
Steph: Uh???
Cass raises her brows.
Duke: Um....
Jason: The fuck did the brat just do?
Dick: Oh no....
---
Tim: Damian, I swear, I'm not letting you borrow my laptop ever again. Your cat just shit on it!
Damain: It would be wise to investigate your devices before handing them to me. Maybe it smelled like human waste before you handed it to me.
Tim: What are you implying?
Damian only shrugs.
Tim: You know what? I'm not helping you convince B that you need another pet.
Damian: You said you'd help me after I helped you on that Physics project you had for your university.
Tim: I change my mind. You're a brat.
Damian: And you're a virgin who can't drive.
Tim: WHAT THE FU---
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