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#theyre never actually called that in the book but well. pop culture
moonsun2010 · 17 days
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16 May - The weird sisters are here!
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these are part of an animatic summarising Dracula, which you can watch here (new readers beware; it has spoilers for the entire book!)
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quidfree · 11 months
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Hi :), I know you published Sober II like, one year ago, but I've to let you know that it's been keeping me from studying for my exam. I love you for that, it's absolutely beautiful. But I have to know more about Alexander. I've got some Princess Caroline's vibes from him, like, sure, let's help my ex's strange "friend" publish his book, no personal feelings involved. Where did he pop out from? Does he has hobbies? Do he and Richard just talk shit about Francis sometimes? And, most importantly, why does Francis have a strange coral of exes very capable in their fields?
hi hahaha what an ask, can’t believe alex is getting some limelight. im sure the audience has been begging for more information about him.
honestly the answer to several of your questions is that francis runs in wealthy circles and those people are all unbelievably connected in ways the rest of us can’t comprehend.
i think alex is probably pretty good at his job but he’s definitely a nepo baby who got into the publishing game young and has the luxury of doing all his friends solids when they decide they’re poets while broke writers everywhere fight for scraps. francis is not the first to call in a favour.
he and francis most likely met in their early to mid twenties when francis was in new york and after some rich people flirting hooked up semi-regularly without ever being an item bc francis wasn’t interested (never even occurred to him, he’s not a big commitment guy and alex is too nouveau riche for him). alex is way more into francis than the reverse but he also resents this bc francis is annoying. they don’t talk often after that but they occasionally run into each other at cultural events and they’ll chat bc they have similar sarcastic dispositions in some regards.
when francis hits alex up re richard he takes the call bc 1) theyre not on bad terms 2) he thinks francis has decent artistic taste and 3) everyone who knows francis in boston thought he had drowned himself in the charles river, and having this prime gossip / being the first to know is satisfying enough to make him indulge francis’ request. plus he did feel sort of bad about his dying and is wondering if francis reaching out is opening the door to rekindling something. and then he reads the manuscript (journal) and thinks “huh, definitely publishable” so he runs with it. he’s profit-driven but he’s also got an ego-driven urge to have artistic freedom that manifests in taking on the odd rogue project.
i think he and richard get along ok- they’re not like, friend friends, just professional friends, but their temperaments gel well together somehow. they don’t really irritate each other like francis does, but they’re also less interested in each other. i actually think the matter of francis is less of a bonding point and more of a rare friction point for them. alex is sort of jealous / wilfully unimpressed by richard bc why would francis be into this random californian nobody moreso than him, so he plays up the condescension a little sometimes. richard isn’t jealous but he doesn’t like it at all when alex makes any reference to his past w francis. beyond that they do have sort of a casual pen-pal situation going on even outside of work.
what he does outside of work… idk i think he’s quite a workaholic actually. sort of yuppy-culture adjacent (by way of pre-existing wealth, but recent, like second gen). he likes being in a hectic office throwing papers around and complaining about no one doing shit except for him. but he does like a bit of high culture and is also a heavy heavy sports guy. his dating life is a mess. he’s not out to his family but they’re all semi-estranged anyways and he only really speaks to his brother (who is an investment banker).
i do think francis has a lot of exes. not from like serious relationships but he definitely gets around & also probably has quite a few semi-established ‘seeing someone’ situations at various points. i feel like theyre pretty varied except in a socioeconomic sense. definitely some dubious set-ups when he was in his late teens. several ‘straight’ guys. a couple he’s actually friendly with. the clandestine boston rich homosexual dating scene is probably fairly incestuous. kim was probably one of his longest relationships but i think in typical francis style it was a bit up and down / let’s not talk about it (<- various underlying issues) even before the deus ex grandfather.
and sorry about your exam. but thanks for the diligent readership.
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smalltragedy · 3 years
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* brigette lundy-paine, nonbinary + they/them | you know kirby wormwood, right? they’re twenty five, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, two weeks? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to ring ring by mika like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole balancing acts at perilous heights destined to entertain, jack of all trades master of none, refusal to accept the mortal world as it is thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is december 1st, so they’re a sagittarius, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( james, 21, est, they/them )
hllo welcome 2 my third character i love them a lot theyre a. remake of an older oc of mine so this is fun <3 sdfhk anyways once again i am asking u. pleathe like if u wld like to plot.
ARSON TW
mini playlist.
wizard ;; lucas lex / ring ring ;; mika / crows ;; clues / sunrise sunset ;; bright eyes / la llorona ;; beirut / no children ;; the mountain goats / might be love ;; the pesky snakes / sax in the city ;; let’s eat grandma.
statistics.
full name: kirby wormwood (currently).
nickname(s): magpie.
birthday: december 1st, 1995.
zodiac: sagittarius sun, aries moon, libra ascending.
mbti & temperament: estp & improvisor / sanguine.
label: the hellion.
hometown: abilene, texas.
sexuality: bisexual.
pinterest.
biography.
alright lets get right into it. kirby ws switched at birth. they cld’ve hd a very like. picket fence trampoline in the backyard. 4 columns cos its texas n it feels right. bt instead they were chosen <3 somewhat unintentionally <3 by dorothea n fawley wormwood, two traveling circus workers who emergency stopped in abilene.
n u know what. growing up in st. pierre’s traveling circus ws kinda fkn awesome? like ok. besides the fact tht they were homeschooled fr like evr n there were a sparing amt of children 2 socialize with? it ws p cool idk.
it ws kinda like everybody ws their parent n also not at all bc they were all very casual. bt they grew up learning hw 2 maintain the circus (n also like. normal school thingz bt i dnt think kirby hs ever cared abt school like ever) n whenever they hd a show kirby wld facepaint or handle tickets until they were old enough 2 start learning like. the Real fun things. 
fawley hd a lot of his own weird odd little like superstitions n beliefs n practically raised kirby on them like n they dnt rly <3 make a lot of sense. lots of made up philosophy. very much like. nothing defines u. u cn b anything or anyone. n kirby ws like ok cool. n then developed a god complex.
names didnt rly stick 2 kirby when they were a kid like. nothing satisfied them or felt worthy fr them or simply they just. got tired of a name. this isnt related 2 them being nonbinary BUT it did help ease some of the. pressure of exploring gender identity. theyve only hd one name tht stuck genuinely n tht ws magpie n. thts bc everybody hd their own bird name n it felt very. like community. like a role. usually the names they used during performances bt. anyways KFHDSGLKKHL
theyre Kirby bt answers 2 most. neutral nouns.
honestly. they were also a rascal as a youth. ws like. oh. i learned sleight of hand? cool. time 2 pick pockets. wld throw popcorn into the hair of other kids n b like. omggg what was that ... became a mime fr a year. it ws a rigorous training.
now a master of charades. bt anyways. they traveled pretty much weekly, maybe bimonthly n sometimes just pure monthly. there wsn’t an off season fr them, when the colder months came they’d travel south and when summer rolled in they’d go right back up again. it ws easy to switch personas almost daily n just. never reveal ur true self. totally not saying tht’s what kirby did bt thts what they did. it nvr made them lose sight of themselves it ws more like. acting. tricking ppl fr fun. 
anyways all good things come 2 an end and when kirby ws like. 18. they were like hey ur old enough that we cn trust u with fire. we think. n they started 2 learn fire-throwing n like. they were ok at it bt lessons were painfully slow n kirby ws like. i wld b so good at this if i cld do it all the time. n it ws like. hey kirby, chill. u already know a lot of things.
arson tw // u see where this is going. tents are kind of flammable. kirby ws unsupervised. bad decisions all around. circus is aflame. all the animals n all the circus workers got out fine bt like. st. pierre’s ws efficiently out of business. arson end of tw //
n kirby fkn booked it they just. ran. pure fear. nvr looked back which is like super traitorous of them 2 do bt. sometimes they meet up in secret like. sunglasses n all at a coffee shop. not all of them just like. fawley or someone else. theyre like. ur family u cld burn down a thousand circuses n we’d still love u. n kirby is like yeah i know bt i’ve rly committed to the bit now. n they dnt reunite.
anyways. since then kirby hs just been. a traveler. nvr rly staying anywhere fr super long n driving around in their shitty little van tht’d been used as housing back at st. pierre’s.
they’re in irving n theyve been there fr almost. suspiciously long. compared 2 their average stays. when asked abt what they do or why theyre there theyll just. give a vague answer or spin a long tale tht usually involves a burning circus.
theyre staying at uh. abernathy creek rn bc of course they r they fit in so naturally. welcomed with wide arms. might b soul searching rn might b on the hunt fr their birth parents might b just vibing ... whose to say ..
personality & facts.
has a Big personality tht attracts others fr better or fr worse. either super likeable or the most despicable person on the earth. no in betweens. n honestly tht is a talent in itself
has no off button is constantly. spinning tales or performing a dance or getting kicked out of bars fr whatever nonsense reason. 
honestly they prob think tht nothing bad cn ever happen to them even tho like. bad has literally happened 2 them before? love the optimism here. KLFGDLKFSDHGF
acts a bit like u’ve known them fr ur entire life they r oddly warm in tht way bt they themself r so distant tht its like. oh nice ok ...
both honest n yet dishonest like. yes they will hustle u out of ur money bt they will also tell u their opinion straight up. 
probably smart bt they r just like. prime thembo? flowy pirate shirts n cropped tshirts n pants tht r never tight. dresses like they do still work n live at a circus. 
likes 2 instigate things between others n then stand back n just watch it happen while taking like zero accountability. loves a good small town drama. avid milf hunter.
does not hv any faith in the american healthcare system at all n will straight up refuse 2 go 2 a hospital if they get hurt theyre like. i cn do it myself im like practically a professional. they r not a professional. 
bt does hv like. a thing abt apples. fkn loves them. 
uuuhhh cn play instruments bt all very badly. only knows one (1) song tht isnt made up n its wonderwall by oasis. they play it at parties. they expect fr tomatoes to b thrown at them at any given time.
very nimble. agile. granted its frm. learning circus tricks frm a baby age bt they hv impeccable balance n cn sneak up behind anyone without a single noise. uses this 2 their advantage in order 2 scare ppl. chaotic neutral.
loves having the attention on them i wont fk around here. will go to drastic measures to accomplish receiving it. my other muses r capable of taking things srsly bt kirby just. is not. they do not take a single thing srsly they barely even took. st. pierre’s destruction srsly n they caused it. maybe.
likes being able to just. be unknown so the amt tht ppl know abt them is actually very. little. i dnt think they even tell others their last name. sometimes not even their first. just hs so many aliases n nicknames. i know i didnt list any bt thts simply bc Any cld.
probably acts out to compensate fr the. underlying guilt they hv bt thts okay. i mean it isnt bt.
will probably show up if u call them fr help bt they lose interest in people p quickly n r always moving onto the next shiniest person. bt when they do they give them like. all their attention. if u wrong them in this period they will just. ignore it. bt when theyre bored then its like. u werent even friends at all? very odd.
perhaps it is commitment issues bt <3 ya. thts them. they do not claim favorite colors or movies or. most interests. probably bc theyre very very disconnected frm pop culture i think they learn everything thru twitter n google.
i wld not call them a good person bt i also dnt think theyre like evil horrible nasty awful they just. think abt themself a lot more than they think abt others n also refuses to face consequences ever and also .. anyways.
wanted plots.
part of the bird’s nest ;; honorary bird honorary circus member. u hv to be very well regarded by kirby to earn a bird name bt i feel like tht doesnt feel like a lot considering theyve only been here fr like. two weeks KDGDSHKGK. the catch is tht u cn only refer 2 them as magpie frm then forward. 
hand in unlovable hand ;; theres comfort in being terrible ppl together n it may not last bt it doesnt hv to anyways. its just them n the like. vibes. n knowing tht its smth thts nvr gna b long term. cld b anything ur character just hs to be also a little evil. KHDSGFDS
one jester ... wht abt ... TWO jesters .. ;; hoo boy. ooh man. unstoppable force and immovable object combine forces n just become. the worst of the worst. ultimate jokesters. epic pranksters. absolute clowns. chaotic energy unmatched. always nonsense. 
n also ;; ppl they’ve stolen frm, ppl who hv caught them in that act, ppl who’ve maybe seen them in the circus a very long time ago, Found Family Trope, real family shenanigans, kirby just asking everybody if theyre their dad., mortal enemies if they see each other its an instant duel 2 the death, etc.
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sunbellylou · 3 years
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ask for writers !!
thank you @tomlinvelvetfics​ for tagging me! and thank you @soldouthaz for making this tag!
1. describe how you first started writing and when you first posted: i’ve been writing for years now, i started with het (ew!) 1d fics in portuguese back in 2011, it was actually those little imagines we used to write, don’t know if anyone remembers hehe. i posted them on a facebook page i was part of and i remember the first thingy i wrote was something with niall, but i really don’t remember any details (but was probably bad as heck since i was 11).
my first larry fic i probably wrote around 2012 when i found out the gay fanfics world haha, i don’t remember what it was or anything tbh, in my head i always wrote and posted gay fanfic.
my first fanfic in english was a little one shot (like 400 words honestly), it was a translation of a previous work i wrote portuguese. i posted it a year and a half ago and it’s called playground love (please don’t look).
2. which of your characters do you typically resonate most closely with? do you base any characters off of yourself?:  i usually write from harry’s pov because i love love l o v e describing louis and how angelic he is, so usually i tend to see louis as this ethereal ish character, cause it’s usually about harry falling in love with him. so whether i like it or no, i tend to be closer to harry’s characters in my fics, i always like to put a bit of myself on him and make the character real, you know?
3. where do you often find inspiration?: honestly? anything! i’ve written fics inspired by tumblr posts, tweets, pictures, songs, movies, things that happened in my real life, books. i literally wrote a pwp because i couldn’t stop thinking about leather pants (go read my robin hood au).
4. has quarantine helped or hindered your writing process?: in the beginning it was really helping me, i’d stay up till 4am everyday just writing like crazy, but then i got into the worst writer’s block and didn’t write shit for months. (and of course right when i started getting new ideas, i started working so i have no free time).
5. do you listen to music/noise while you write or do you prefer silence? always listen to music, all the time. i can’t do anything without music. mostly because my brain is a mess and music helps me concentrate. i usually go for some chill songs, some indie pop and stuff.
6. what is your biggest writing pet peeve in your writing or in general?: oh my god, when i’m writing and two or more paragraphs start with the same word, one after the other. it drives me crazy!!!! and sometimes i spend hours looking for ways to word differently the sentences, just so i don’t have two paragraphs starting with “the”.
also when my paragraphs are two (or one) lines long, i can’t! it has to have three or more lines.
7. describe your ideal writing setup: at the dining table, in the middle of the night, with some soft music playing in the background and some popcorn with me!
8. favorite time of day to write?: well, just said it hehe i like writing at night.
9. favorite genre to write + one you’d like to try writing in the future?: woah, that’s tough because i literally write any genres! i really love writing fantasy and horror stuff, but i feel like it’s not really well accepted in the fandom? (spec horror). and when people like it, they only read from bigger authors so i usually keep myself from writing those. aaand tbh i probably already wrote most of fic genres out there, so there isn’t much left to try.
10. do you struggle with writer’s block? how do you typically overcome it?  i’m writer’s block bitch and i do not know how to overcome her
11. what is the easiest part of your writing process and the most difficult? outlining tbh, i usually don’t (and it comes back to kick me in the ass). i always have too many ideas at the same time and can’t stick to one, so outlining and finding the right plot is really hard.
12. how do you come up with original characters? (if applicable): lately i haven’t really had the chance to come up with ocs, but when i wrote original books (not fanfics and stuff), i usually started with the gender and one outstanding personality trait and went from there.
13. what is your favorite and least favorite word?  i love the words ethereal and breeze, omg you’ll find them A LOT on my fics. and my least favorite word is growl.
14. what is one thing about your writing that you’re really proud of and one thing you hope to continue working at?: i think i describe the vibez��in the scene really well, it’s my favorite thing to do. and i need to work more on building my sentences, because theyre always supermessy.
15. what work of yours has your favorite ‘verse/world building? how did you come up with it?:  definitely the fic i’m working on right now! i’m putting so much work on the world building since it’s a fantasy fic, so i’m planning every little detail about it. i hope other people like it too when they read it !!
16. what font and size do you write in? single spaced or double?: comic sans, 12pt, single spaced. don’t come at me.
17. what is a typo(s) you find yourself making consistently?: because english isn’t my first language, i always change like ‘th’ for ‘d’ (because it has a similar sound in portuguese), so catch me typing ‘de’ instead of ‘the’ or ‘dey’ instead of ‘they’.
18. (if applicable) do you separate fic writing from fandom?: i didn’t understand the question so i’m pretending i never read it hehe
19. what emotion is your favorite to write? which is the most difficult?: my favorite to write is probably,,, love/adoration, like harry looking at louis like he’s the whole world and thinking about how amazing he is? i love it.
and the most difficult is probably anger, i find it really hard to write like fights and stuff like that because usually i make the characters sound more sad than angry.
20. what is one thing you hope readers always take away from your works?: i never thought about that but,,, i hope they start finding joy in small things that happen in their day. that’s something i use a lot in my fics and i think it’s very important to bring it to real life. like enjoy that late night tea, showering in the morning, spending a summer day in the house, cleaning, etc.
21. what is the best and worst writing advice you’ve ever received?: i think the best advice is one i got from someone i no longer talk to, they told me this when i first started writing in english and it is to stop trying to write fancy or like native english speakers, because it’s much better to write simple sentences that i’m confident about than write sentences with words i barely know how to use.
and the worst advice is TO OUTLINE! i know i should maybe i dont know but leave me alone, i hate outlining bye
22. which one of your works would you most want to see turned into a film/television show?:  ok so,,, it’s a book i wrote like three years ago with original characters. it’s called great evil and i wrote it in portuguese. it’s full of violence and acid humor, about a very evil and sarcastic demon and an angry hunter. (one day i’ll translate that book and turn it into a larry fic)
23. do you write scenes chronologically or out of order?: chronologically. always
24. how do you handle criticism?: really bad. please be careful with what words you use. i’m already really hard on myself when it comes to my writing, so sometimes someone says something and (it might be dramatic but) i feel my world crumbling and i want to stop writing right away.
25. what is the advice you would give to someone who is looking to start writing?:  just,,, do it. there’s no right or wrong way to do it. there’s no such thing as too much or too little, bad or good plots. every idea is a good idea. write it for yourself, write something you like. go ahead and just do it. there’s always someone out there who will enjoy your work, no matter what.
26. what kind of feedback on your work always makes your day?: any comments make my day tbh, if you comment on my fic i’ll be forever grateful and will be smiling like a fool the whole day. honestly, even a “omg i loved it” comment can make my day.
27. which fic ‘verse of your own would you most like to exist in? which fic’s characters would you most like to befriend?: the one i’m writing 100%, please i want to live in a fantasy world. i wanna live in the water kingdom and have faerie louis as my king please.
and i’d like to befriend louis from my fic kiss me in your chevrolet, he’s a sweetheart and i must protecc.
28. what do you always enjoy getting asks about/wish people would ask about more?: anything! i rarely get asks so anything is good hehe
29. what has writing added to your life? how has it changed you?: it’s such a big part of my life, i spent all my teenage years writing and it really is what built my personality. it helped me being more creative with all aspects of my life and take life lightly, enjoy little things and moments. 
30. why do you write?: i just love having ideas and putting out there, playing with words and finding new ways to describe daily things.
boost yourself + tags!
1a. share the last sentence you wrote:
The path through the dense forest, covered in slippery rocks and burning trees is already difficult enough, but it becomes ten times worse when you’re being pestered by small, demonic creatures. 
2a. describe the wip you’re most excited about:
i’m honestly only working on one fic right now and i’m super duper excited about it
3a. share the piece of dialogue from one of your works you’re most proud of:
"I mean, I still don't plan on watching Star Wars, so…" 
The boy groans playfully, throwing his head back and Louis' eyes are suddenly really interested in the column of the guy's throat. 
"Americans really have no culture." He shoulders Louis slightly, warmth spreading through Louis' dainty shoulder and making him trip to the side lightly. With a faux outraged scoff, Louis waves a dismissing hand. 
“What do British people know about culture? All you do is drink tea and talk about the weather all day,” Louis teases with a mischievous gleam in his eyes. “Also, Star Wars is American, just so you know.” He rolled his eyes playfully, feeling surprisingly comfortable in his presence.
Skater Boy sighs comically, shaking his head, his wavy locks falling gracefully on the sides of his face and Louis can’t stop thinking about how soft his hair must be. 
“You got me there.”
not posted but i kinda like it (i’m not really good with dialogues, so it was really hard to find one lmao)
4a. share the best first and last lines from your work(s): I will do only those that are already published:
best first lines are from a halloween fic i never finished: 
Louis’ blue eyes snap open. His heart pounds fast inside his rib cage, making something as easy as breathing almost impossible. Sweat drenches his body and he feels like drowning. He feels too awake and wary as his breathing calms down, as well as his grips on the sheets under him loosen.
best last lines are from my 2019 BLFF there’s more than one place to call home: 
Their life was utter chaos, and they were definitely complete opposites, and sometimes Harry wished Louis would just shut the hell up, but at the same time, Harry wouldn’t change a single thing about his life, because he had Louis, and that was all that mattered to him. 
5a. link the last fic you read: it was the devil's in the details by @raspberryoatss​
6a. link the last work you published: you could take a lick (but it’s too cold to bite me)
7a. link to your ao3 (if applicable): cinnamons
8a. someone that inspires you: louis hehe 
9a. a comfort fic/work that you’ve been grateful for this year: tbh i don’t read a lot of fics, but there’s this work a friend of mine wrote. it was in portuguese and she ended up deleting it but it’s amazing.
10a. other writers that you’d like to tag! @bottomlwt @raspberryoatss 
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zontiky · 4 years
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Okay but au where they're not all related and five is a mysterious orphan Diego keeps running into at odd hours of the night and then him just being like "fuck it he's like 13 he can't be out alone at night" and then just takes him home like a godamn stray and five is THRIVING under the positive attention he never had I beg of you please feed my soul. Also sorry if this doesn't make sense I've had 2 hours of sleep and like 8 coffees today
i think i’ve read a fic similar to this but FUCK YEAH let’s do this (sorry im so late btw i havent been feeling bullet points lately fksjdfks) ALSO HEY OP PLEASE DON’T DIE I HOPE YOU’RE OK??? 
so diego is still a cop and he’s patrolling or doing whatever it is that cops do, and then he sees a kid sitting in an alley
obviously he pulls over like “hey kid you okay?” and the kid is like “shut up go away bootlicker” and diego is instantly “okay then come on im taking you to get food”
the kid doesn’t want to go but at the same time diego can tell he knows that there’s really no better options. this child looks hungry
so the kid and diego go to griddy’s and the kid says his name is five when asked
“that’s not a name”
“is too”
diego+fam have a long history of trauma and reginald called them by number which was their birth order or something? idk OH SHIT WAIT YOU SAID NOT ALL RELATED OK OK COOL SO
luther is a mechanic who diego knows because he’s the dude who’s often the one repairing his car, they’re on pretty good terms and go out for coffee sometimes because luther hates alcohol and diego’s body is a temple so he doesn’t drink
diego is diego he’s a cop but he’s highkey broke and i really don’t know how much cops get paid? hm
ok google says from 34.6k - 89.4k a year and numbers mean nothing to me so lets say he’s just a gremlin who lives in a boiler room because it’s efficient
OR he’s still dating eudora and lives with her
you know what that’s probably the better option i’m gonna go with that. they don’t have as much childhood trauma even though none of the “siblings” come from exactly good homes? but none of them were raised by reggie mcfuckface so it’s less like,,, bad even though they’re all fucked up
WAIT DO THEY HAVE THEIR POWERS
HELL YEAH THEY HAVE THEIR POWERS
ok ok so luther is a mechanic who uses his super strength and endurance to just fucking carry cars around his garage and i know NOTHING about mechanics as a profession but but but luther is good at what he does
diego is a cop who lives with eudora and throws knives like a boss. he also throws tennis balls really hard because stabbing people on duty isn’t advised
you know what? i’m gonna say allison ISNT a movie star, shes a smaller actress with minor roles here and there because she’s a mom and spends time with claire. she doesn’t use her rumor as much because honestly she doesn’t see a reason to? like sometimes she’ll go “i heard a rumor you gave me a free shot of coffee” and like,,, that’s it shfskd
her and patrick are still divorced but that’s because they did it the healthy way. they knew they were drifting apart but instead of rumoring him they broke it off mutually and they still meet up for coffee. they’re friends ok. claire loves her parents
klaus! klaus has problems but because im a soft bitch dave is here in 2019. he’s… also a mechanic…. they all know eachother but dave knows luther and diego pretty well. luther via work and diego via luther
yes klaus! so klaus has a history of drugs and addiction, because while he wasn’t shoved into a mausoleum ghosts screaming at you all the fucking time doesn’t help with staying sober
but because he has a support network he can fall back on he’s doing well, he’s a barista in a coffee shop that allison and patrick & diego and luther frequent
shoutout to klaus
five is an orphan he’s 13 and small and kind of a genius? fuck what if as a kid five accidentally time-traveled to 2019 and thaT’S HOW HE BECAME AN ORPHAN 
galaxy brain
so five is this kid in the wrong time living on the streets not knowing how things work
i mean he does obviously because he catches on quick and he’s smart but really he doesn’t know how some shit works ok. he’s clueless when it comes to technology and pop culture and shit
ben!! ben is alive!! he’s a part time writer and a full time librarian!! he knows klaus because during his homeless days klaus stuck around the library because free bathrooms and also reading to take his mind off the ghosts. they become really close and ben gets klaus to move in with him and then he’s trying to get sober and then ben’s car crashes and that’s how they meet luther and dave OHHHH
additionally: klaus illustrates some of ben’s books because he knows how to draw yay
vanya! she’s first chair in the orchestra and she’s dating helen cho because i say so
so vanya kicks ass at violin, she’s being gay teaching lessons all that good shit what more is there to say
harold isn’t here because there was never an umbrella academy
hmmm back to the,,, actual plot,,, im sorry sksfhdjsk
SO DIEGO FINDS FIVE RIGHT
AND HE’S LIKE “oh no this child is awakening my paternal instincts oh no i have to take him home with me now”
eudora opening the door to see her husband boyfriend with an angry looking teenager at his side: dear god what did you do this time
eudora instantly bonds with five and i mean INSTANTLY like she lays eyes on him and goes “child?? small?? looks lonely?? must protect” and five looks at her like “badass looking lady she probably knows what shes doing might as well ask for info and stuff” but hes actually thinking “oh dang she looks like she knows what she’s doing RESPECT” and yeah ksdjhsdkf
then five expects them to be mean or just get tired of him and kick him out but?? they dont??? wack
diego is instantly like “kid where do you live”
‘um’
“you live somewhere right???”
‘UM’
they find out he’s legally dead and thats another can of worms entirely
so they register and foster five
diego and eudora are registered foster parents you cannot change my mind alright
then five is introduced to luther and dave, and also ben and klaus because theyre hanging around the shop bc it’s their off day
so five instantly has 4 more people giving him instant love and validation and he’s like “woah”
THEN ALLISON AND PATRICK
claire too,, claire immediately adopts five as her older brother
this entire time five is like “i can’t stay im gonna leave soon you all know this right” and eveybody is “yep ok sure” but they all know hes gonna stay
hhHHHH GAME NIGHTS
five beats everybody at scrabble
diego beats everybody at darts, even though everybody calls him out for cheating
vanya beats everybody at musical chairs. she levitates the chairs so nobody can sit down
luther beats everybody at outdoor games. do not play tag with this man you might not make it out alive
allison is the QUEEN of blurt! 
ben is so good at charades it’s unfair
klaus honestly sucks at board games, but he always wins uno and nobody knows how (its the ghosts skfhsdkf)
five is so confused because its obvious all of them are cheating but??? nobody cares?? what
“it’s because it’s fun nobody is actually upset”
whaaaaaaat
so they have to explain to him that they dont play to win they play to have fun and its just a fun thing they do to spend time together and bond
five: mind blown
THEY TAKE HIM TO AN AQUARIUM
BEN JUST CHILLS WITH THE OCTOPI THE ENTIRE TIME
FIVE BONDS WITH CRABS
THEY ALL LOVE SEALS
five gets exposed to modern culture!! klaus and ben teach him memes is what i’m saying 
five goes to school!!! he makes friends!!!! they have nice sleepovers and diego and eudora make them cookies :’)
i want to say. okay so.
reginald exists and he had made grace eariler as preparation for the children he was going to adopt, but he died before he could buy any babies
so grace exists! and!! she knows the “siblings”!!!
so five has a grandma because im not going to lie grace is basically all of their’s mom
she lives in the mansion but she can go outside and DO THINGS and she makes them COOKIES and she LOVES HER KIDS and GRANDKIDS and five ADORES her ok
basically five is happy with his pseudo family that’s it thank you for your time
wait no actually he figures out how to time travel safely and he does go back and forth
sometimes he pops in and he’s like “hey we ran out of milk” and then a second later he’s like “for the love of god wait until tomorrow to get milk dont ask why you dont wanna know” and its obvious that he came back from the future and HHHHHH YES
the commission can’t do shit because found family love is simply too strong
hazel and agnes are the nice couple who run griddys and birdwatch
five is fond of them too honestly like he just loves going to griddys because it has so many happy memories for him and its where he met diego (sorta) and also yay hazel and agnes!!
SO YEAH BASICALLY: FIVE IS HAPPY AND THIS AU IS GOD TIER THANK YOU
THIS IS A GOOD ONE I LIKE THIS AU THANK YOU
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stereostevie · 4 years
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A brutal childhood, a traumatic marriage, decades of racism: the singer has overcome it all on her way to the top. She lets rip about the people who have wronged her and the self-belief that sustains her.
It is a rainy Thursday afternoon and Mariah Carey is talking to me from her home in Los Angeles, her voice coming through my laptop. Is this the real life or is this just fantasy? (Sweet, sweet fantasy …) “Hello, good morning, good afternoon, this is a little unusual,” says a gravelly voiced Carey. You’re telling me, Mariah.
We are talking by video chat, but – as specified by Carey – without the video turned on, so it is pure chat. Despite her ability to hit the high notes, Carey has always described herself as an alto. Yet even taking that into account, her voice today sounds pretty husky. Is she feeling OK?
“It’s 6am here, and I’m awake in the bright light and it’s fabulous and I love it,” she says and makes an exaggerated groan.
I’m sorry you had to get up so early for this interview, I say.
“Well, darling, then let’s not book interviews at 6am if you’re worried! But please, it’s not you,” she says, and indeed it isn’t. The time and date of our interview have moved around so many times to accommodate Carey’s ever-shifting schedule that, for a while, it looked as if it wouldn’t happen at all. But at the last minute, it was decided we would talk at 6am her time, which I was promised would be fine because Carey is a self-described “nocturnal person”, so that would be 6pm for her. Alas, for reasons too complicated to get into, for one night only, Carey was a non-nocturnal person, so now 6am is just 6am.
“Typically I would have been working [all night] until now, but we had a situation and I couldn’t. Then I tried to get some sleep, but actually I watched the interview I did with Oprah. But it’s OK, it was just one night [of no sleep] and here I am,” she says. You don’t become one of the most successful singer-songwriters of all time – she has sold more than 200m records, and only the Beatles have had more US No 1 songs – without being a trouper.
Carey, 50, has spent lockdown with her nine-year-old twins, Monroe, named for Carey’s hero, Marilyn Monroe, and Moroccan, named partly for one of her favourite rooms in one of her houses, the Moroccan room, “where so many creative and magical moments have happened, including Nick presenting me with my candy bling”. Nick is Nick Cannon, the twins’ father, and “candy bling” is Carey’s term for her engagement ring, which Cannon hid inside a sweet before proposing. Carey liked Cannon’s proposal so much that she even wrote a song about it, called Candy Bling. The marriage proved less enduring and the couple divorced in 2016.
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“Honestly, I don’t miss anyone outside, so I don’t care about lockdown,” she says with a throaty laugh. “But it’s difficult for the kids, because they’re used to three-times-a-year Disney World moments and stuff like that, and that’s just not the current state of affairs.” It is not. So Carey is conducting the promotional tour for her memoir, The Meaning of Mariah Carey, from her kitchen table, and if she has her way – and who would dare to argue? – this will be the last round of interviews she ever does.
“No offence to doing interviews, but what would be the point? I can’t articulate it better than I already have [in the book]. From now on, I’m like, ‘Please refer to page 29,’ you know what I mean?” she says. Carey’s deliciously shady put-downs are legend: her “I don’t know her”, when asked almost two decades ago about Jennifer Lopez is still the internet’s most beloved diss. Speaking of Lopez, her name is notably not in Carey’s memoir. Instead, when recalling the hoo-hah that led to their fallout, when a sample Carey had planned to use on her single, Loverboy, appeared on Lopez’s I’m Real, Carey refers to her as a “female entertainer (whom I don’t know).” So is her official position still that she has never heard of Lopez?
There is a pause, then stifled laughter. “Oh my gosh, can you hear that music in the background? It’s Sam Cooke! It’s fantastic!” she giggles.
Not only has Carey not heard of Lopez, she cannot even hear questions about her, it seems.
Carey’s memoir is about a lot more than score-settling (although she makes time for that, too.) “I don’t think anyone could have known where I was coming from, because I was always very, I don’t know if it was protective, but I was cryptic about the past, let’s say,” she says. No more. The youngest child of an African American father and a white mother, Carey was three when her parents split up. Her childhood was threaded through with neglect and violence, not least from her older siblings. When she was six, she says, her older brother knocked her mother unconscious; when she was 12, her older sister allegedly drugged her and left her with creepy men.
“I think my staying up all night started from having such a dysfunctional family. Oftentimes, whoever was in the house was doing whatever it was that they were doing, and that felt kinda unsafe to me, so I started staying up,” she says. Another legacy of this time is Carey’s obsessive adoration of Christmas, because her childhood Christmases were so miserable. When she wrote the monster hit All I Want for Christmas Is You, she wanted, she says in her book, “to write a song that would make me feel like a carefree young girl at Christmas”.
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As a child, her biracial identity made her feel she did not belong anywhere: she was so self-conscious about not being black enough that she wouldn’t even dance, as she associated that with black culture; meanwhile, white girls at school taunted her with the N-word. In one of Carey’s – and my – favourite chapters, she describes how her mother did not know how to look after her young daughter’s textured hair, so it was often matted. Carey would look enviously at the white women in shampoo adverts on TV with their flowing hair. “I am still obsessed with blowing hair, as evidenced by the wind machines employed in every photoshoot of me ever,” she writes.
One of the most painful moments in the book comes in 2001 when Carey is having what the press described as an emotional breakdown. (Carey writes that she did not have a breakdown, but “was broken down by the very people who were supposed to keep me whole.”) During this episode, she rages at her mother, who calls the police. The police take her mother’s side: “Even Mariah Carey couldn’t compete with a nameless white woman in distress,” Carey writes. Is that how she experienced it at the time, or is that how she feels generally, that not even she is safe if a white woman complains?
There is the briefest of pauses. “Those are my words, so please refer to page 29,” Carey says.
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Race is very much the running theme in Carey’s memoir. This might come as some surprise to those who know her solely from the mega pop hits such as Hero and We Belong Together, as opposed to the more revealing songs, such as 1997’s Outside, which addressed her feelings of racial ambiguity (sample lyric: “Neither here nor there / Always somewhat out of place everywhere”). “I can’t help that I’m ambiguous-looking,” she says, “and most people would assume that it’s been to my benefit, and maybe it has in some ways. But it’s also been a lifelong quest to feel like I belong to any specific group. It shouldn’t have to be such a freaking thing – and please edit out the fact that I said ‘freaking’. I’m not very eloquent right now.” I ask if she was at all influenced during the writing of her book by the rise of Black Lives Matter. She dismisses the question: “Interestingly, this book predates everything that’s happening now, and the book just happened to be very timely.” In other words, Carey hasn’t caught up to the times, the times have caught up to Carey.
Despite her omnipresence over the past three decades, it is possible that you have not thought about her ethnicity. This, Carey says, has been part of the problem: from the start, she was marketed by “the powerful corporate entities” in a way that played down her racial identity. What made this even more complicated for her was that the most powerful corporate entity in charge of her career at the beginning was her first husband, Tommy Mottola, then the CEO of Sony Music.
Carey’s discovery by Mottola is the stuff of music industry legend. The then unknown aspiring singer gave him a tape of her music at a party in 1988. Mottola tracked her down, signed her and, a few years later, married her. She was 23 and he was 44. Within just a few pages in her memoir, she goes from wearing her mother’s busted shoes to work to living in a $30m mansion with Mottola, which she decorated with enthusiasm: “Though by no stretch do I like a rustic look, I do have a preference for tumbled marble on my kitchen floors,” she writes. Adjusting to the high life was not difficult.
The hits – I’ll Be There, Emotions, One Sweet Day – were unstoppable. The Mottola-Carey marriage did not fare as well, imploding in 1997. Carey expands at some length on her previous allusions to Mottola’s controlling tendencies, claiming he would spy on her and that she was effectively a prisoner in the house. In his 2013 memoir, Mottola admits his relationship with Carey was “absolutely wrong and inappropriate” and adds: “If it seemed like I was controlling, I apologise. Was I obsessive? Yes, but that was also a part of the reason for her success.” Carey points out that she went on to have nine hit albums without Mottola’s controlling obsession. She writes that Mottola tried to “wash the urban” off her, recoiling at Carey’s increasing leaning towards hip-hop and collaborations with African American artists such as ODB. “I believe I said ‘urban, translation black,’ just in case anyone thinks I don’t know,” Carey corrects me. Does she think that was just for commercial purposes, or was something else going on with Mottola? “In my opinion there was a lot of other stuff going on there,” she says.
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It must have been pretty upsetting to revisit that period during the writing, I say.
“Yes it was traumatic, but was it harder than some of the other things I’ve gone through? Maybe yeah, actually,” she says with a rueful laugh. “I don’t know if I’ll ever fully recover from the damage of that emotional abuse. But in my school of thought, you have to be a forgiving person.”
Carey is extraordinarily honest in her memoir, but the book is almost as striking for what she does not include as what she does. A lot of attention has focused on her confirmation that she did, as long rumoured, have a fling with the former baseball star Derek Jeter (“I’m not being shady, but he had on pointy shoes,” she recalls a little shadily of their first meeting.) But there is no mention of other boyfriends, such as her former fiancé, the Australian billionaire James Packer.
“If it was a relationship that mattered, it’s in the book. If not, it didn’t occur,” she says.
But you were engaged to Packer, I say.
“We didn’t have a physical relationship, to be honest with you,” she says.
And that is that.
Carey’s singing voice made her famous, but her penchant for being thrillingly, hilariously high-maintenance played its own part in shaping her legend. On an episode of MTV Cribs, she explained that she had a chaise longue in her kitchen because “I have a rule against sitting up straight”, and she has talked about bathing only in milk. Does she think she is high-maintenance – and, if so, does she think it is because she came from nothing?
“You know what? I don’t give a shit. I fucking am high-maintenance because I deserve to be at this point. That may sound arrogant, but I hope you frame it within the context of coming from nothing. If I can’t be high-maintenance after working my ass off my entire life, oh, I’m sorry – I didn’t realise we all had to be low-maintenance. Hell, no! I was always high-maintenance, it’s just I didn’t have anyone to do the maintenance when I was growing up!” she says and cackles with delight.
By now it is almost 7am for her and she is wide awake. I tell her I enjoyed all the references in her book to her enjoying “a splash of wine”.
“Oh, do you? Do you love a splash for yourself?” she asks, pleased.
I do, but I was intrigued by her description of a night out with her friends, including Cam’Ron and Juelz Santana, when they were all “high” on “purple treats”. What were these “purple treats”?
“A legal substance in California known as mari-ju-ana. It’s called purple because that’s the particular weed they liked,” she says.
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And did she like it?
“Are you enquiring for yourself or are you asking if I enjoyed it?” she says, mock coy.
I am asking if you enjoyed it, Mariah.
“No, I hated it,” she deadpans, then laughs. “I’m sorry, but it’s obvious!”
I have been interviewing famous people for a long time, but talking with Carey is the closest I have come to how I imagine it would have been to spend time with Bette Davis or Aretha Franklin. There are lots of ridiculous modern celebrities, but Carey is not like that. With her mix of slightly self-parodic ridiculousness undercut with no-messin’, true-to-herself honesty, she is a proper grande dame of the old school. A diva, in other words. It is a term she has laboured under throughout her career, and it is unlikely she will escape it, even if people now finally know where she is coming from. Does she mind the D-word?
“No! Who the fuck cares?” she laughs. “Honestly! ‘Oh my God, they’re calling me a diva – I think I’m going to cry!’ You think in the grand scheme of things in my life that really matters to me, being called a diva? I am, bitches, that’s right!”
The Meaning of Mariah Carey (Macmillan, £20) and The Rarities (Sony Music) are out now.
• This article was amended on 5 October 2020 to clarify that it is in the United States where Mariah Carey is second only to the Beatles in terms of having the most No 1 singles.
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sambarvadai · 4 years
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#6: the curious art of crunchtime creativity (2/2): aha
posted on 14 nov 2019
exams happened yesterday, and also i wrote this blog post yesterday, but now it’s all gone and i’m rewriting it. c’est la vie! edit before posting: it is one week later and another exam has happened and now i have more material to write about. c’est la vie pt2!
so. there’s a second type of creativity – calling it creativity isn’t accurate; most would consider it to be going down the rabbit’s hole that is the internet. we’ve all done it before, somehow finding ourselves staring at something in horrified fascination with no clue as to how we ended up there. in my case – or at least, in this context, it is mostly subject-related, specifically to the subject on which i am about to write the exam. (future me: the exam is over) please note: this has only applied to tamil and chinese, the two languages i take (english doesn’t count. you can’t study for english), because those have scopes so wide that they might as well not exist at all. hence, it’s not me, it’s the subject. we move on.
chinese is a lovely, lovely subject ((please forget the fact that my exam is in two days and i’ve barely started studying) <– this exam is now over i hate it) and my love for it came from this book i found when i was starting out. it taught the story of each character by broke it down into radicals and connected these radicals into a coherent plot that told its meaning. that was a long sentence. so this made learning chinese, which is, primarily, a pictoral language, quite manageable.
a tangent here: simplified chinese is harder to understand pictorally as compared to traditional chinese, because in the name of simplification, many radicals have been bastardised to mean completely different things from what they were actually intended to be. for example, the character for listen (听, 聽), as you can see, has been grossly simplified from including the radicals for ear and heart to just including the radical for mouth. kinda sad, isn’t it
anyway back to story so i have amazing friends who kick my ass into studying and will absolutely scream at me for browsing taobao two days before the exam (which i did haha) and it’s great learning chinese in a chinese-speaking country because you have so many somewhat-native-chinese-speakers who will correct your chinese but still encourage you to strive on and not make (too much) fun of you. it’s lovely because my friends have similar pop culture exposure compared to me, so if i drop in a random korean reference or whatnot they get it. it’s really, really great and cool, especially when i want to write fanfic in chinese and they get it B)
speaking of fanfic, i recently discovered twosetviolin (why recently, you ask? i’ve been seeing their thumbnails in my recommended for ages but never clicked; sorry) and i was hooked. so naturally, i turned to fanfiction (idk if i actually ship them but the stories are cute). surprisingly, there was a large amount of chinese fanfiction about them, which led me to lofter (chinese tumblr)! and i learnt so much vocab from that and it was so so fun to read, because it was seeing familiar tropes in a slightly-less-familiar language. i do want to continue learning chinese, so hopefully this will prove to be a good gateway into the language.
the tamil section’s going to be shorter because it’s been a while since the exam, but anyway, i shall try my best.
tamil has been my pride and joy for the last four years, in no small part thanks to my peers and teacher who made me love the language and love myself for inheriting the language. i once regarded tamil as a burden and hated speaking it because of how i stumbled and had a funny accent. now, though, my accent is a lot better, and i speak it much more naturally. it’s still a work in progress, but i love the language so much more and that has translated directly into (or has affected) how i interact with my peers and family. i’m a lot more confident expressing myself in the language, and i like speaking it and making a connection to other people who have chosen the language.
because that’s what it is, isn’t it, you choose a language. you can choose to reject the language you were born with, or you can choose to cultivate it and respect it. you can choose to learn a language that was not yours to begin with, but has grown to become close to you in a different but equally inexplicable manner. you choose the language, and you give it the acknowledgement it rightly deserves.
anyway. the love for the language stayed largely within class, where our teacher showed us ancient tamil poems and translated them for us, showing us that themes of love, kindness, filial piety, and so many more have not changed one bit in the last 2000 years. recently, however, i found oldtamilpoetry.com, in which the blog-writer translates tamil poetry into bite-sized pieces. as i stayed up late reading the archives, i felt the language settling into my bones, draped over me as comfortingly as a childhood blanket. it was reassuring. calming. lovely.
this, i now realise, is just a really long love letter to my languages. these are my languages now, and i’ve made them my own by finding the beauty in them. that beauty was best discovered in the moments before exams, when pressure drives you to look for alternate ways to make learning bearable. this was when i discovered why i actually love the language – and love learning, really. yeah.
i don’t know where i was going with this but YES. tldr, during exam periods, i find how beautiful subjects – languages – are. it’s really cool, and i recommend you do it too. just go down a rabbit hole and find what makes you click. find that pull factor that makes you realise that yeah, this was worth it. this is probably kind of incoherent but hey. hopefully a bit of you resonated with this!
please watch out for part 3. idk when ill post it, but yeah! it’ll be a wrap-up to this academic year, or maybe just exams in particular. important! because i have quite a bit of reflection to do about that too. hope you enjoyed reading this haha thanks for reading so far !!!!!!!!!!! legitimately bless you owo (pls check out twosetviolin theyre amAzing) stay tuned for more !11!1!!
anbudan, noon xoxo
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peckhampeculiar · 5 years
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Twerking nine to five
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PECKHAM’S KELECHNEKOFF STUDIO OFFERS FITNESS CLASSES RANGING FROM POLE-DANCING TO TWERKING TO YOGA. We meet its inspirational founder – the personal trainer, actress and Peckham resident Kelechi Okafor
WORDS JUMOKÉ FASHOLA PHOTO DILESH SOLANKI
I don’t think you could find anyone prouder to be a south Londoner than Kelechi Okafor. Born in Nigeria, she arrived to join her mother in Peckham at the age of five and the area has been her home ever since.
Describing herself as a ride or die Peckhamite, she not only lives locally, but has also established her Kelechnekoff fitness studio here.
Kelechi is a fierce, fun and fabulous woman, with boundless energy, who sees her remit as one of reclaiming the narrative about what it means to be a strong black female in the age of social media.
Her studio, based in the Sojourner Truth Centre on Sumner Road, offers everything from yoga to pole-dancing to twerking. Why twerking?
“One of the things I wanted from having a space like this,” she says, “is to allow women across the board to be tender and engage fully with their bodies.
“Because society has hyper-sexualised the female body so much, and the black female body specifically, there are women who just want to be as far away from that narrative as possible, not understanding that our power lies in the sexuality and sensuality of being a woman. That’s what I want us to take back.”
As an actor, director and personal trainer who specialises in twerk and pole-dance fitness, it’s been a challenging road to get to where she is today – from the homelessness she experienced as a teenager to supporting her mother and brothers, to depression, therapy, having to integrate into a new family when she first arrived in the UK, childhood sexual abuse and a lot more.
She has survived and is very open about her personal journey to date, particularly on social media. No topic is off limits – black issues, police brutality, mental health, her own recent miscarriage.
She has amassed a following of almost 35,000 people on Twitter, with a further 12,400 followers on Instagram. Where did her fascination with social media start?
“It was probably around 2013, when the shift started happening and I just felt that we had something here that allowed us to communicate with everybody, worldwide,” she says.
“I’ve always been a writer, and when Twitter came along I just took to it, because I thought, ‘This is a space where I can say what I’m thinking and I can put it out there as a form of microblogging.’
“I joined it when hardly anyone else was on there and I remember when the influx of celebrities started joining us. I thought, ‘There goes the neighbourhood, they are going to ruin everything!” she laughs.
“But it has changed and I’ve changed with it, as I saw how it allowed us to have our own voice separate from the narrative that we were getting from the media.
“I feel that this is where the power is. It’s an opportunity for me, Kelechi, to give you an alternative narrative to what you’d normally get from the mainstream.”
But in being so outspoken across her social media platforms, has there been a cost? “Yes, there has been, but I think that for anything that matters to you, there is always a sacrifice,” she says.
“Occasionally I will go online and there will be someone calling me a black b**** or a black this. Sometimes I save the tweets. Perhaps one day I’ll take it to court and then they’ll have to show up and explain that email or tweet they sent. But it hasn’t really got there.
“I did have horse manure sent to me in the first small studio I opened in Clapton, though,” she remembers ruefully.
“I had been speaking that weekend about the appropriation of black culture by mainstream pop artists.
“I was pointing out that when it’s ‘appropriation’, there’s always someone with more power who benefits from it financially. If it was ‘appreciation’, the person who has less of the power should be benefiting from it but they’re not.
“I was explaining that and someone got extremely upset with something I said, because soon after, I got horse manure posted to me anonymously.
“Although,” she laughs, “it didn’t even offend me because it was so well packaged and 100 per cent organic.”
What was the response to that experience from her social media followers?
“I have a lot of black female followers who care about my safety and care about my wellbeing. So, someone wrote an article for BuzzFeed about it, which basically helped promote my studio.
“Many people, men and women, sent me flowers and books of poetry including one by Maya Angelou. I just received so much love.”
Whatever the challenges she has faced in life, keeping fit has always been her way of working through issues.
“I’ve always been active and into sports”, she says. “Growing up, I played football and netball. It was stuff I didn’t have to try hard at, it was just a skill that I had.
“I had wanted to be head girl at school but my teacher thought I was too boisterous for that, so she said I could be sports captain instead.”
Her love of sport comes not just from her innate ability, but also from the discipline that it requires.
“When I was in secondary school I joined the air cadets. All I’ve ever yearned for, after not seeing it in the family home, is discipline. I like routine and structure.
“I think we were in year eight when we had a talk from the air cadets. And I thought, ‘Yeah, that’s it, I’m becoming an air cadet.’”
True to form she worked hard at it and for her, “the psychological part of the training gave me a break from being the one who did everything at home and having to be in control of everyone. I wanted and needed that break.”
Alongside fitness, her other passion is acting. It was a choice of career that her mother was dead set against.
“I can understand why,” she muses. “If you’re losing your home and don’t have a regular job, what you want for your children is a steady job. You want to know that they will never suffer or want for anything. Mum was like, ‘Just be a lawyer, you are such a great orator’.”
As a compromise, Kelechi found a course that would allow her to study both drama and law at Liverpool Hope University.
“I’d never been to Liverpool before,” she says, “but that’s the only place which was offering that degree.”
Coming back to London, she started working at a call centre and found it soul destroying.
“I remember going through London Bridge one day and just thinking, ‘There has to be something I can do where I’m not at the mercy of this corporation’. And I just thought, ‘I’ll become a personal trainer’. Fitness was the thing I loved most after acting.
“I saved up my money from my job, paid for a distance learning course and then I did lots of work experience in different gyms.”
Her business took off straightaway, courtesy of her followers on social media.
“When I did qualify, there were already women on Twitter and Instagram who were like, ‘Just come and train me’.
“So I went into that and that’s when I started to see the kind of freedom and flexibility that I could have access to without being at the mercy of big corporations.”
Her personal background means that she has a real desire to see women embrace who they truly are, not just physically but also emotionally and spiritually.
“What I really want for women to understand, especially when it comes to our bodies, is that we only have this one body,” she says.
“When I start training people, I want them to understand that there’s nothing I can do that’s going to make them more beautiful.
“I can get you slimmer if that’s what you really want. I can get you more toned, but none of these things are actually going to make you more beautiful, because it’s not really based on what you look like.
“[It’s about] getting my clients to understand that to me, personal training is 80 per cent psychological and emotional, and 20 per cent physical.
“You didn’t come to me because you care about your fitness, not really. There’s something else that’s happening there. What is that thing?
“If we talk about that ‘thing’, then the fitness doesn’t feel so bad. I’ve had women and men break down into tears when we’ve been having a session because I will say things like, ‘I just feel today that you’re holding a lot in’.
“I can feel it and then they let that out. And that’s what they needed. Then they feel safer because they know that I will spot it if they’re holding a lot that day and we taper the session to create space for them.”
She’s irritated by men who try to dominate in gyms. “I’ve had it myself when I’ll be training at the gym and a guy who clearly knows nothing about fitness comes up to me, just because I’m a woman, and says, ‘So when you’re doing this you really want to do it like this.’
“Wait, you’re telling me, the actual professional, how to do it?! And then they often have the temerity to say, ‘Don’t grow too much muscle though, because you don’t want to look like a man.’”
She dislikes the way Christmas and the new year are promoted to us commercially.
“It’s interesting to me how around Christmas time, the focus in adverts is on massive turkeys, chocolates etcetera, pushing a form of gluttony on us.
“Then as soon as January hits, it’s ‘You, disgusting fatty, get to the gym, get fit’, and I just think that we have to pull ourselves out of that. We are being sold one thing while being beaten with another. What does that do to your self esteem? We never know where we stand because companies were just telling us five minutes ago to eat all of the food!”
What’s on offer at her own gym is a way, according to her, of connecting women to the “divine feminine” through dance.
“With the twerking classes at the studio I wanted to celebrate my African-ness while still paying homage to the ways in which it has changed and how it’s now become linked with hip hop culture,” she says.
Also available at the Kelechnekoff studio are very popular classes in pole-dancing and also yoga, which she is particularly keen to make accessible to all, especially those on lower incomes.
She hopes in 2019 to include a few more aerial disciplines, such as aerial hoops and also Wing Chun defence classes. Primarily though, whether it’s a twerk hen party or a pole-dancing class, her dream is that the studio continues to be a fun place that celebrates all women.
On a personal level as we approach the new year, she’s living by her own mantra: “Don’t stop striving for that thing that makes your heart warm. You deserve it. You can achieve it.”
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EDDIE REDMAYNE, THE MOST GIFTED OF THE NERDS
“Being an artist is not about talent, but the striving for perfection in the knowledge that you will ever reach it “
Eddie Redmayne wearing a blue total look and has an extraordinary face eyes and smile when he talks comes almost completely squeeze, you understand that he loves to quote this sentence of Red theatrical work by John Logan, in which he played a Ken White lotus worker and artist, in turn, a role which earned him numerous awards.” Those who  think that having a great talent does not involve effort they’re wrong. it’s impossible distinguish the great talents from hard work. For me they are inseparable.”
We are in London, near Borough Market, where Redmayne lives with his wife Hannah and Iris, their daughter 10 months old, and says that when he got the role of Stephen Hawking, then earned an Oscar for The Theory of Everything, there were other 5 actors to compete for that role. “  I never thought, ‘ I can do it’ but I am very interested to do” so with some modesty, when you consider the  transformation in Lily for The  Danish Girl has touched a second statuette, shifts the focus from himself and asks me If I followed the advice he gave me  the last time we met, when he suggested to go to  see a series of portraits in the National Portrait Gallery. Redmayne  often finds inspiration for his characters remaining for hours observing painting’ details  a legacy that carries the art studies at Trinity College, Cambridge, and after years of  Eton college. I need to know everything about the physicality of a character as he walks  as he eats even in bed wher he  sleeps. In a TV miniseries Elizabeth I, 10 years ago was the Earl of Southampton. To the National Portrait Gallery has exhibited a painting commissioned by himself who explain more of thousend words, how much he loved  wealth. He  had very long hair, wore rings of various shapes and was surrounded by precious objects carpets. If I had not seen that picture my acting would be much poorer, in the true sense of the  word.
Also for Fantastic Beasts  he spent whole days to observe the rhinos” I did tell the animal trainer all their idiosyncrasies” says with a tone of amazement still in his voice, he needed to immerse themselves in the shoes of  Newton scamander a magician totally dedicated to his Fantastic Beasts that studies and saves.
Eddie what comes from this extraordinary meticulousness preparation?
I have a bad imagination so I try to immerse myself in things in a more visual can. I watch different movies  more than those of Charlie Chaplin and Buster Keaton on, I look at the paintings  to try  to pull out something interesting about how to dial a code of references that inspire me. The truth is that we specialize  to compense in our defects a lot, and we are working on eventually they become our strengths.
In this way, however, you  became the first paraplegic and then a man in search of his own female identity?
And seems that i choose these roles... they were  the result of coincidences. When you play someone who lives or has lived, and then people know you have to work a lot on the effect of actually looking for details everywhere,   I have followed the same method even when interpreted a fictitious character in Fantastic Beasts asking  J.K. Rowling  all references possible about the time, the  period in which she set the story, how   the people looked  in the New York of the time. We are literally immersed in those imaginary thing.
What’s  for you  physical transformation, skill that was the main key to the success ?
The physicality is a massive  part of than we are, but it’s just one of the aspects of my job. My  work  would be a very bad if one only looked viewer the appearance. Even if you stay in a character for 8 months, and I end up becoming a bit ’ also what I play, I like to lead a life  a  normal as possible.
Your last role, and maybe the most difficult, to be father you’re in is turning even there?
it’s too early to say that I am becoming a father, and I’m trying to keep my head above water this so. I do not sleep a lot and even my wife also in this, Also in this if I think how to act both I and Hannah trust instinct do not analyze things too much, and the way to do.
There are colleagues inspired you ?
For each role I find one other than. Maybe you don’t believe it  to become Stephen Hawking had in mind James Dean who was a revelation watching almost all his films, I knew it about icon but not his work, and has a lot to me hit even when I play with famous actors are more intrigues.
First, you talk about  Rothko assistant’s sentence  that to be an artist and to aspire to perfection, knowing that you will ever rich out.
This’s a good answer  for those who ask me “Why  you recite a play for nine months, every night, doing the same thing?” If I think the movie, one of the most frustrating aspects of my work is that although the leap of spectators we have available hundreds of “action!” for one scene actually,not much better it happens that you have in brilliant idea when filming ended’ll see you in film 9 months later and maybe you will not like it.
After the Oscar, and the last nomination, it was thought that it would have made dozens of movies, instead not. Why ?
I was  dreaming to become an actoor  since I was a child, then someone, maybe to dissuade, told me that i it would be difficult to make it a true profession. Now I can say it’s true.  Since I started doing auditions for many parts every time they called me I was going to try it. Despite having become my job, and I have had so many awards, fear of not working after never leaving me. For the last four years, while I was running The Danish girl I was going to promote The Theory of Everything and  while on the set of Fantastic Beasts every Weekend I flew to Los Angeles to promote the Danish girl. In short, for four years I didn’t have a life here so well.When I’m done Fantastic Beasts I decided to take a little ‘time for  the family and  my friends.
In the Pop Culture you are considered “a kind of modern British Avatar Style ” what’ s for you style?
Instinct, more than an calculating.Someone’s associate personality style and elegance which for me is effortlessness
Your kindness and your courtesy are disarming. It seems that embodies, where does this attitude are from ?
In the profession there is a lot of competition, you through different emotions, constantly frustration and anger, jealousy, and I think I’ve made some important experiences regarding this.  My older brother James,unlike mine, is a sports talented man from there we challenge often tennis but he did it without a real passionand and in summer we played a match after he had not touched a racket for months, leaves me coming the fifth set and just when I thought I would win  it pulled out the best of himself and beat me. I remember that my anger was mounted to the point of becoming fierce.
And what got you inside?
I noticed that emotions like rage and competitiveness, were so unpleasant that it was best to remove it. In the world is full noise coming from all directions that you should still try to offer the best of yourselves.
Soon you’ll  back on set for the sequel to Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them directed by David Yate. What fascinates you the world of JK Rowling?
 Her imagination, her genius of creating worlds.
Newton Scamander’s suitcase,  the magician expelled from Hogwarts that calls himself magizoologo, contains real worlds. Instead,  what’s in your ?
Books, watercolors, to make the tremendous paintings,script, a camera, a very few  blue clothes, usually. I’m color blind and that’s the only color that stands out well. Sometimes I dress colorfully and by reaction  those who are close to me, I understand that are too showy.
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