#the disastrous life of saiki k. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

keilentine · 2 days

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ARMAGEDDON ‘cause i wanna see, i wanna see truly

━━━ " act one, armageddon supernova cant stop hyperstellar. 원초 그걸 찾아. bring the light of a dying star. 불러낸 내 우주를 봐 봐, supernova AESPA

( yn ) & the ikaris introduction MASTERLIST

• this chap only involves reader & her parents, next chap will have the jujutsu kaisen characters

‘reader speaking telepathically’ , thoughts’ , “talking”

‘when you have supernatural powers, the impossible becomes possible’

“wow, look at this little guy! so cute. im a huge dog lover” but im way more into girls’ the man said, petting a lady’s dog. suddenly escaping out its leash, the dog sprinted towards the road which happened to have a moving truck, “no! pochimi, come back— pochimi!” the owner said with panic

before it could even make contact, the vehicle flew above the dog, onto the space away from it. the dog walking back to its rightful owner like nothing, having the two speechless. “..that was weird. so, you wanna go out sometime?” said the man.

“ew, are you trying to pick me up”

‘my name is ( yn ) ikari, and i have psychic super powers’

‘sixteen years ago, an ordinary couple gave birth to a not so ordinary baby girl’

the scenery changing to when ( yn ) was days after birth, “so cute, almost as cute as mommy” said her father, “so cute, almost as cute as daddy” rhymed her mother. “oh, you” he tapped her head using his index finger. ‘wow, so i guess im still only second place’ baby ( yn ) said

‘i started talking when i was fourteen days old. without using my voice’

“baby ( yn )’s walking, baby ( yn )’s walking” clapped her mother

‘soon afterwards, i started walking when i was one month old. in the air’

“how cool” his father emphasized watching him walk from point a to b above them

‘and at one year old..’

“we’re out? i can’t cook without rice wine” her mother pouted. catching glimpse of ( yn ) teleporting, “( yn )?”, and returning back with numerous rice wine bottles

‘..i ran my first errand’

“oh, ( yn )”

‘my mom finally started to worry about me. now, you’d think after a year of this weirdness, they’d take me to get tested. but my parents are kinda weird themselves’

“im pretty sure she stole the rice wine” her mother held ( yn ) on her lap. her father right by them, “well, i’ll go pay ‘em back tomorrow when there’s time”

‘not to mention lazy’

just for ( yn ) to raise her small hand with the receipt, “our little psychic did pay after all!” her mother embraced

‘they can still act like love birds, and they’ll take everything in stride. including me, and all my weird powers.

so time rolled on.

i became the person you see now, a highschool student. as you saw with the dog and floating car, i still have my superpowers. i can bend spoons like any good psychic. and i can win any corporate giveaway i want. my life is a dream come true!’

‘..that is what you’re thinking, right? well let me drop some truth bombs, bending spoons makes it harder to eat and winning free popsicles just leads to stomachaches.

“she’s the happiest girl alive, that girl can have anything and do anything!” well that’s dead wrong. im the unhappiest girl alive, a girl who has nothing!

telepathy, psychokinesis, x-ray vision, precognition, teleportation, clairvoyance, etc, etc. sure i can do all those things. but having powers like that also means having something taken away’

‘sort of like how because we feed our pets, they’ve lost the ability to hunt. or when a mother spoils their child, he loses the ability to be a functional adult. in this way, there some key experiences ive missed out on. hard work, culminating in the sense of achievement, the thrill of being thrown a surprise party, they’re both totally foreign to me.

sure, i never get angry or sad about anything but that just means there’s no joy or thrill in my life either’

‘maybe i should focus on the bright side though, no drama means things are always peaceful for me and that’s not bad’ ( yn ) thought to herself while walking home. her father surprisingly outside their residence, “( yn )! welcome home, my daughter” he stood up, signaling her a salute. “you’re running kinda late today, huh?” he questioned

‘why’s dad sitting in front of the house?’

he pushed his glasses to the bridge of his nose, “i’ll get right to the point. im locked out of the house, can you open it up for your old pops?”

‘are you kidding? again?’ she passed the gate over to the front door. with one swift hand movement, a click was heard meaning the door had opened. “wow, i love those psychic powers of yours, they’re just so sneaky”

‘don’t call them sneaky’ she opened the door for her father. “( yn ), with those kind of powers think about all the things you can do” he said with a tint of suspicion, hand covering his mouth. ‘keep your dark thoughts to yourself, dad’

from the inside, her mother could be heard, “( yn ), is that you? you’re back?” making her father panic, “ah! we’ll talk more later!” he scurried off inside

‘i guess there is one thing in my life that’s decidingly unpeacful’

“i can’t believe you changed the locks on me again!” her father argued

‘that would be my parents current relationship’

“i hope you’re hungry, ( yn ). im making you breaded pork chops for din-din!” her mother smiled, glancing at her. “now you’re choosing to ignore me?! besides, i told you i wanted to have steak tonight!” her fathers fist going to point at his wife.

“im sorry i forgot, but i can boil you a leather shoe”

“i don’t want a shoe, leather or not!”

‘i wonder where it went wrong for them. they used to be so passionate’ a memory of them staring lovingly at each other with their hands together played in ( yn ) mind, “i love you like a fish loves water” then to their current state, “my hate for you has become as wide and deep as the pacific ocean!”

“i hate you like a fish hates air!”

“you suck!”

‘well, they’re still passionate now but it’s a little different’

━━━

“gord yourselves guys, i made a ton!” her mother grinned from ear to ear across the dinner table. her father then repeatedly banging on it, “hey! hey! hey!” pointing to what she had served him, an actual leather shoe. “is it good, ( yn )? oh honey, would you like something else?” her mothers usual beam still on her face

“no, because i bet it’s just the other shoe” he faced her. another plate with a shoe was plastered on the table, “boneappletea” she said. “that’s not even from the same pair!?” he yelled

‘they been going at each other for a year’

“hey, ( yn ). use your powers to turn this old shoe into a steak for daddy” he shoved his first plate in her vision

‘so in case you forgot, this pathetic dudes my dad, kuniharu ikari. he’s lazy and irresponsible and asks for help with everything in his life but surprise, surprise, the more i help him the more useless he gets, so lately i’ve stopped doing him any favors’

“what?! how dare you take your mothers side in this! do you have any idea how many shoes i have to lick each day to buy the food you’re eating now!?” he frustratedly shouted. ‘so, you do like to eat shoes?’

his father sighed, crossing his arms, “..alright, i’ll eat it— it stinks! what did you do to this shoe! are you trying to poison your father!”

‘im pretty sure that how they always smell, dummy’

“( yn )” a sudden bubbly background came about her mother, “now just remember what i’ve always said, please don’t use your powers for evil” she gave a shut eye smile

‘this is my mom, kurumi ikari’

“you must only use your powers to help those in need. or those people who you’re certain genuinely nice”

‘she’s a big reason why i haven’t let my gifts turn me to the dark side. she’s a caring soul. well.. to me’

“but feel free to use your powers to hurt your daddy!”

‘..she kinda has a dark side herself’

in the corner of their eyes, her father was seen chowing down on his daughters food, “stop eating ( yn )’s dinner, you thieving son of a bitch!” her mother angrily shouted, spooking her father away from the plate. “that’s it! we’re taking this outside!” she roared

‘in truth, i can break up this fight whenever i feel like it but this is something they’re going to have to work out themselves’

something shiny distracted ( yn )’s attention away from her parents, ‘coffee flavored jelly? hm, doesn’t taste bad’ she described whilst her mom spun her dad around behind her. finally snapping and accidentally throwing him straight towards ( yn )

from the impact, her coffee jelly had seconds from landing on the ground. as psychic, her fast reflexes let her catch the jelly straight into her mouth. landing on the floor from the save, she chewed her savory treat, “you wanted to eat jelly that bad?! forget the jelly, we got bigger problems! your mother turned into a monster!” his father feared

“stop running from me, you coward!”

“you have to help me, ( yn ). you’re my only hope to stop her rain of terror!” her father cried. from the anger ( yn )’s mom had, she lifted their dinner table in attempt to throw it, “you’re not leaving til i say so!” she yelled

making ( yn )’s father scream out in fear. before the table could touch him, ( yn ) used telekinesis to hold the table back. “huh..?” her father opened his eyes

‘i’ve got the weirdest parents. i really don’t care about stopping another pointless fight but i can’t help myself’

“so now you’re on your dads side?! but i even made you pork chops!” her mothers mouth gapped open.

‘it’s pointless? just wait’

“i want nothing to do with either of you again” that’s a lie, truth is i love them!’ her mothers thoughts were heard

‘no matter how hard they try, the voices in their hearts always bubble up. in other words, all these fights they have are a sham’

“alright, well i hate you both too so there, yeah i said it” just kidding! you know i love you guys, i wanna snuggle!’ said her father

‘like i said, another pointless fight. there is one person here who has a real reason to be upset, me! those weirdos interrupted my dessert. i guess only a psychic can fix this’

“love you!” her parents said in sync. “wait, did you just say you love me?” is it really possible she loves me back?’ asked her father. “what? no. that’s you who said it” oh no! i thought i just thought that! but did i say it? and what does ‘she loves me back’ mean? he loves me?’ panicked her mother. her father pointed out, “so you did say it. you just admitted of thinking it out loud” is it possible that i love her so much ive started hearing things?’

he loves me ‘so much’?’

huh? she can hear me too?’

“what? yeah” .. he did say it!’

“not out loud..”

“—( yn )!” they both shouted. ‘forced shared telepathy. i used my psychic powers to link their minds at the nerral level. in other words, thanks to me they can now hear each others thoughts’

“turn it off right now! i don’t want your dad finding out that i still love him!”

“her finding out that i still love her is my worst nightmare!” they both waved their hands, flustered

suddenly a twist of emotions happened and they proceeded to apologize, “im so sorry, honey” cried her father. “no, im sorry it was all my fault!” followed her mother. ‘what a pain. normal people are complicated. at least now i can finish my dessert in peace’

“your coffee jelly would’ve trapped us in a cycle of violence, i wouldn’t have done it”

“you did nothing wrong, honey. it was all my fault for getting so angry at you and breaking all the doors and windows in the house”

as ( yn ) was about to dig in her pastry, her mother snatched it away, “let’s set things right! a tooken of our renewed passion” bringing the jelly between them. “wow!” her father took a bite

“is it good?”

“mmhm, it’s a dignifying treat. delicious!”

( yn ) stiffly glared at them, making all the windows shatter for the reason of taking her jelly away

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luffyvace · 2 days

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I need.....I NEED MORE SAIKI K X READER SHEWAS SCSKSB

I have been feed well by your small serie of saiki kusos x write reader 🤤

But may I request as saiki kusos w f!s/o who suddenly have makoto as a stalker?

(sorry if you don't understand this my first time requesting 😭😭)

AHHH IM GLAD YOU ENJOYED THE SERIES!!

that’s actually a great idea!! I’m super pumped to do this request! :)

Don’t worry I know just what ya mean!

⚠️stalking warning,⚠️ before I start, if I may 😵‍💫

💛

Saiki will know right away when he starts stalking you-

And ngl this is the perfect chance to get rid of him 😈🙏

just kidding! But seriously, he let go of all the times makoto’s annoyed him in the past, but now that’s he’s an issue with you? His girlfriend? The one girl he can actually tolerate, scratch that, loves??

yeah no buddy this one’s not gonna slide

unfortunately he cant punch him bc 1) Saiki’s too strong and 2) that’d draw a lot of attention to himself since Makoto is a celebrity

but what he can do?? Well, Plan A) pinch his cheeks till they hurt and threaten him, Upgraded Plan A) disguise himself then pinch his cheeks, Plan B) keep scaring the crap out of him every time he tries to follow you, Plan C) calmly talk it out with him that you two are an item, Plan D) tell Teruhashi and use her love for Saiki to his advantage, getting her to tell her parents and stop her brother, Plan E) Publicly expose that freak or Plan F) tell you you have a stalker if you haven’t noticed, and if you have, go to the police

wow! what well thought out plans! :) most of them won’t work

heres why!

upgraded plan A is better than just plan A but it will ultimately still draw attention

plan c is unlikely to work seeing as though how creepy that guy is, plus he doesn’t like Saiki

As of plan d Teruhashi can hardly stop him from being a creep to HER (😭⁉️) and i don’t know how well the parents will care, especially if he’s making them money..😟

plan e….seems like it would be successful..buuut i feel he would just use his celebrity status to will the evidence away, like speaking out about how he would “never” do that and doing charity 🙄 plus the fan girls probably won’t believe some rando who uploads that on the internet over they’re fav 😒

ngl plan F is really reasonable and has one of the highest chance of working, but yet again, the celebrity card will strike and he could pay off the police so they don’t do crap abt it 🤦‍♀️😑

therefore! Plan B it is! Seems the most likely to work + Saiki can get his revenge in a practically harmless way! :3

Thanks to his powers (for once 😭) no one is likely to believe even the Makoto when he says a flying guy dropped a pile of dog crap on him 😏🤷‍♀️

and even if they did when he tries to explain the full story he’ll have to keep lying to keep the lie of him not stalking you alive 👎

but he still will tell you if your unaware tho!

he’s likely gonna be hesitant if he knows you’ll freak about abt it but you deserve to know. And ofc he can always keep you safe (thanks magic powers, for being useful for once!) but he also would want your parents to know so if Makoto tries something they can have a lead.

so yes ultimately he tells you, likely at his house, in his room, and he tries to break it to you as gently as possible but…there’s no easy way to take that kind of info 😬😟

if you get scared or cry he’ll tell you his plan to make him leave you alone, and he tells you to tell your parents too. Essentially trying to console you

if you choose to trust him and react a bit calmer, maybe still worried, he’d ask if you still wanna go out in public knowing this, and if yes he’ll accompany whenever and wherever he can, especially since Makoto won’t wanna come up to you while he’s there, thinking Saiki’s your boyfriend

he is

Also If Makoto does anything perverted as far as taking sus pictures of you or imagining weird things with those photos he’ll rip them up and make the paper and random things fly around in his room, every time

He probably breaks his phones/cameras too, even if he buys knew ones, as punishment

onto the final battle!

let’s say your walking home from school and Makoto is following you, your boyfriend is close behind you both, monitoring the situation for a good chance to strike. First, you cross the railroad to get home, but Makoto has to fall back so you don’t see him, but when it’s his turn to go? Oh no! The trains coming! Where’d that even come from? there was no train?! CRAP!- huh? Wait..the trains gone..thank goodness?! 😭

oh wait! He needs to catch up to you! Well at least he knows where you live and what route you take through research! He needs to catch up! HOLY CRAP! What’s a mob doing here?! Did a fan see him?? How’d they find him..no way, don’t tell me they’re gonna find out what he’s doing..NO DONT COME ANY CLOSer…? They’re running past him? Well I guess he is in disguise..wait, they were running to this arch nemesis and top competition?! 😠 seriously?! That guy over him??

he proceeds to head over there to show the ladies who they should really be drooling over 😏 WAIT- HE CANT REVEAL HIMSELF RIGHT NOW?!- what?…where’d his wig go? THE WIND BLEW IT OFF?! HOLY- HE’S ABOUT TO GET FOUND OUT🫨 RUN 😭 🏃

aw man he’s outta breath, what are the odds the wind would blow his wig off near a mob of fans?! Now he’s gotta be extra careful following you! And it’s already late! Actually..it’s pretty darn dark….dang it! You’re probably in your house by now! Oh well…maybe you still have your window open and he can get some pictures that way! 👍

uh..is he starting to hear a second pair of footsteps..? But..no one’s around..why’s it getting louder..?! UH, it’s getting more aggressive now 😥….okay that’s it! he’s running..!

dang it! It’s chasing him! No way he can lead this creep to your house! (Ironic huh) he’s gotta take a wrong turn!

man! What time is it?! Midnight?! Has he really been running that long??? Why’s this freak still chasing him? And who is it?!?

alright! He’ll take a turn into that alley and lose ‘em! Then he’ll make a ‘U’ back to your house! Although there’s no way to be sure if your still up or not :/

hey! The footsteps are gone! Maybe think he lost him! Alright! He’ll take another turn and go back to your place!

🏃🏃

right as he turns the corner?

Saiki:👹

Jump scare!

he immediately calls his manager while running away, thinking he’s either a mass muderer, a demon or a stalker! 😱

and the best part is? Nobody will believe him 😊

ngl Saiki probably won’t let this slide even a couple days after he finds out Makoto’s stalking you, he’s quick to act and stop him bc no.

Super Saiki to your rescue! 🦸🤩😎

Ngl you’re beautiful so I see what Makoto sees in you but…..dude. Don’t stalk your crush.

🌸💐🌺

hope you enjoyed your hcs! -Brook

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