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#paradise is a kind of library
kafkabot · 7 months
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rendingrocks · 11 months
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 A glorious little suffering has just been born, an exemplary suffering. Four notes on the saxophone. They come and go, they seem to say: You must be like us, suffer in rhythm. 
Nausea, Jean Paul Sartre
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mtngco · 1 month
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Pixels of You: A Graphic Novel
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tardis--dreams · 2 years
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So is it normal in other countries to be allowed to take bags and jackets with you into the library???
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"I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of a Library." -Jorge Luis Borges ♡
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notmyneighbor · 1 month
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Let Me In ~ Doppelgänger Francis Mosses/The Milkman and Female Reader
Finale
Word Count ~ 3.3k
Rating ~ Explicit
CW ~ fluff and smut, pregnancy
Also available on AO3
Fanart used with permission @kaworinx on Instagram and TikTok
taglist ~ @luthien-elvenia-asher @fishfetus @gaudesstuff @nekee-lilac02 @msdevil333 @rrnrjn @maskedpacific @yoongiwantsme @that-0ne-simp @kaislashes @charli33-b33 @finalitgirl @kawaiichookie @vexillum-moeru @blackcurrant28 @r4yyyyy @dazedin2d @mrsspector-grant
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The true name of your doppelgänger is crooned into your ear.
A sound that is strangely soothing, syllables slipping like water in a brook, a gentle rush of water.
You attempt to replicate the sound and of course it doesn’t come out right. He’d warned you of this. The human tongue is incapable of replicating the foreign language.
“Why do you have such an easy time learning ours and we can’t learn yours?”
He’s gone back to the human version of his being, the tired eyes of the milkman studying your frustrated features, his fingers stroking and smoothing away the lines creasing your brow and the corners of your mouth.
“The newness of it, maybe. Yours is a relatively young race.”
You prop your head up on your hand, dragging fingernails over your lover’s chest. “How old are you?”
“Me, or my species?”
“Both.”
He turns onto his back, nestling down in the pillows. “In Earth years….we have existed for tens of thousands of years. I’m a tenth of that.”
“You are not over a thousand years old,” you murmur in disbelief.
His eyes meet yours and he smiles softly. “You’re right, I’m not. I’m teasing. Sorry, love. More like one hundredth of that.”
“A century.”
“Mmm-hmm.”
“Wow.” It’s hard to reconcile the idea. Despite whatever face he wears, you’ve always thought of him as near enough your own age. “An older man, huh?”
“Something like that.” He lifts the hand you have resting on his bare chest and kisses the inside of your wrist. “Is that okay?”
“It’s a little late to ask, but yes, it’s definitely okay.” You bend to kiss his mouth. “I really wanted to learn your name.”
“I know, sweetheart.” He worries his bottom lip, considering. “What if I tried to describe what it meant instead? And we discovered a language equivalent that was similar.”
“Alright,” you agree.
The milkman’s copy pauses, considering. “In Greek mythology, there was a name for something otherworldly that was borrowed from Latin, then later used to describe a kind of afterlife. Fields of paradise. An eternal resting place of bliss for the worthy. Elysium. But that notion of otherworldly is the best way to describe it. The original term is Elysian.”
“Elysian,” you try it out. It sounds nothing like what the alien had said earlier, of course, but the idea is there. “I like it. It’s pretty sounding.”
“Well, that’s it, then.”
“Elysian,” you repeat, bending to kiss his mouth again. He smiles against your lips. “You like hearing it, huh?”
“It’s pleasant, I’ll admit.”
A sudden thought occurs to you. “How do you know about Greek mythology?” You have never seen anything that indicated the milkman read classical literature.
The doppel clears his throat, looking a little nervous. “There was a professor.”
“Oh.” Of course Francis wasn’t the first human he’d ever cloned. “Did you…take him over, too?”
“No. Just replicated. Retired. Library at home.” He squirms a little, looking uncomfortable.
“Did you…” You don’t really want to give voice to the query. You’re not even sure precisely which it is. Kill? Consume?
“Sweetheart, please don’t ask me that.”
You swallow thickly. You forget, sometimes. Caught up as you are in how he is now. Denying what he used to be.
“How long ago was that?”
“I don’t remember.”
“But you remember what you read in a book.”
The doppel sighs, raking a hand through his hair. “It was awhile ago.”
“Not who you were when you…Francis…”
“No.”
“How many? How many people have you…”
He sits up, and you straighten beside him. “I don’t want to talk about this. It’s not who I am anymore. What I am. You know that.”
“I know. I just…” Your voice trails off again.
“Listen to me, sweet girl. All that matters now to me is you. Keeping you safe. Making you happy. I love you.” He plants a kiss on your bare shoulder.
“I love you, too.”
“We should go to sleep. Work in the morning. And that damned box to deal with,” he mutters, leaning to switch the bedside lamp off.
You feel him lying down again and you snuggle next to him, your head pillowed against his chest, his arm curled around you. You’re wide awake, now. Questions spiral in your mind. “Elysian?”
“Hmm?”
“Do you ever miss your planet?”
“Maybe a little. I did. Not so much now.” His arm around you tightens.
“What was it like?”
“Very green. More of a tropical climate, I suppose you would say.”
“And you left because…”
“Food shortage.”
A brisk answer. You’re not going to ask what precisely the doppels consumed in their native location. “Have you been to any other planets?”
“One. Small. We didn’t stay long.”
Another ominous answer. Not enough to eat, perhaps? Did anyone ever properly repel the invaders? Or were they an unstoppable force, like a plague of locusts sweeping the land, consuming everything in their path, leaving nothing but desolation in their wake?
“What’s it like traveling in space?”
“So many questions tonight.” His lips press against you hair. “It’s indescribable, really. Beautiful. Vast. Daunting. Someday, I would like to show you.”
There’s a lull in the conversation as you both mull over that prospect. You had never thought much about space travel. Had no real knowledge of astronomy. But the idea of exploring the stars with this creature by your side made you curious. What would it be like, to be so far away from the only home you've ever known? You feel the gentle rise and fall as the doppelgänger’s lungs expand and deflate and hear his heartbeat, slow and steady. You try to match his rhythm. A game you haven’t played since childhood. Facing off with a friend in the schoolyard. While cuddling with a parent at home. That is what he feels like to you. Home. How fiercely you want to protect him. You squeeze his shoulder.
“What happens when you run out of members of your squadron to send here for sacrifice?” You ask quietly. A concern you’ve harbored for a long time finally given voice.
“Let’s not worry about that tonight, okay? I’ll deal with that when the time comes.”
“Ignoring it won’t make it go away.”
“I won’t let anything happen to you. I promise.”
“I don’t want you to be harmed, either.”
“I know, my love. Now try to sleep.”
You shut your eyes, thinking there’s no way you’ll be falling asleep anytime soon, only to find yourself proven wrong as you soon descend into slumber.
***
You awaken to darkness.
It’s early, dawn still a ways off. You reach out drowsily to find the doppelgänger sitting upright beside you in bed.
“Elysian?”
“There’s a doppel,” he says softly. “But something about it is off. I don’t…”
You’re instantly alert again, jerking upright, throwing the sheet off of you. “Where is it? Outside? On this floor?”
Had you let one in by mistake? Or was this some new intrusion?
“I’m not sure,” he replies distractedly. The weight on the mattress shifts as he rises, his face barely visible when he draws back the curtain to peer at the street below. “Not outside,” he declares. “Closer than that.”
Your pulse quickens. Inside, then.
“Wait there,” he advises. “I’ll go have a look around.”
You immediately disobey, sliding out of bed. You can’t just sit still waiting for whatever was going to happen. You pad barefoot out of the room, finding yourself in more darkness. Your fingers trail on the wall as you move forward, your feet leaving carpet and finding linoleum.
“Elysian?” You hiss, squinting, trying to detect him in the shadows.
“I told you to stay in the other room,” his voice growls from somewhere to your right. The living room. “It was gone, but now I’m sensing it again”
You bump into the couch, finally deciding it’s more of a hazard trying to find your way in the dark, invader be damned, reaching blindly until you crash into the lamp, nearly knocking it over before your fingers fumble for the switch.
Francis’ doppel paces the small apartment, even unlocking and cracking open the front door before shaking his head and shutting it again. His gaze meets yours.
“So where is it?”
He steps towards you slowly. His eyes widen. “Is it possible…”
“What?”
“Sweetheart.” He stands before you, laying a palm on your abdomen.
“I’m…”
“Carrying my baby. Our baby.” His other hand cups your cheek tenderly. “We did it, my love.”
He gathers you against him, his face burrowed into your neck. Wet. He’s crying. You’re crying, too. Weeping. Relief. Joy. A new kind of fear. Maternal instinct kicking in already.
You had to protect your unborn hybrid child.
***
There’s no sleep to be found for either of you now.
You’re cuddled on the couch, wrapped in Francis’ bathrobe, the doppelgänger’s arm curled around you protectively, waiting for the new day to begin.
“I’m afraid to make an appointment with the doctor. I should go, but…what if they find out?”
“Best not then, love. Just to be safe. You should talk to your mother. Whatever you need to be doing, what to expect…”
You nod. “We need to get married as soon as possible.”
“You’re already my wife in every way that matters, but yes, we will. Very soon.” He pauses. “I know I’ve asked you this before, and I know your reasoning behind it, but I think you should stop working for the DDD. Especially since we’re moving into your house together. There’s no reason for either of us to be anywhere near here anymore. Let’s go, sweetheart. Leave this behind. Start over. Begin our life together properly.”
“Let me give a notice. Finish this week, and the next. It’s just how we do things. Allow them time to find a replacement. We still have the box to deal with,” you remind him.
“Then you’ll leave the DDD?”
“Yes, I’ll leave.”
He sighs heavily. “Thank you.”
“What time do you think it is?”
“Maybe three? I left my watch in the other room. Can’t see the clock from here,” he murmurs against your cheek. “We still have time.”
“I was thinking we should go downstairs. Tamper with the device right now before the sun even rises.” You lean back to look at your lover. “They’ll keep working on it. There’s no guarantee they won’t succeed again. Or find another means.”
“I know. But that won’t be your fight, love. That’s for someone else to worry about.”
“Aren’t you scared?”
“Yes,” he admits. “More than I ever have been. But it’s worth it. You’re worth it. Our baby is worth it.”
***
The director of the DDD requests an exit interview with you.
Really not a request, more of a requirement. You’re not entirely surprised. You didn’t think you’d escape quite that easily.
It’s been a little over a week since you and Elysian sabotaged the anti doppelgänger frequency box. Lying about the results on the survey after the allotted trial period. A temporary solution to a larger problem, but at least your doppel was safe for now.
And your baby. Your half human, half doppelgänger child nestled in your belly.
You try not to rest your hand on it as you sit before the stern faced man’s desk. Of course there is nothing visible yet, your stomach still flat, but you’d already grown accustomed to touching there. You force your hands to meet and fold together in your lap, your head bowed slightly, the very picture of meekness and subservience that seemed so favorable for women of the time.
“You’ve submitted your two weeks notice.”
“Yes, sir.”
“And the reason for that is?”
“I’m getting married. Ready to settle down, start a family.”
He grunts. You can’t tell if it’s approving or not. “People don’t often leave the DDD. Not voluntarily,” he adds.
“Yes, sir. I’m aware. It wasn’t an easy decision, but I feel it’s the right one.”
“Not going to be easy to replace you. Not if you gave two months notice, let alone two weeks,” he admits grudgingly. “The DDD thanks you for your service. I’m certain you’ll still uphold the tenets of the cause, even if you’re no longer formally employed by us.”
“Of course, sir. Thank you, sir.”
The middle aged man begins to slide a document across the desk towards you after signing it and stamping it with the official seal, only to halt at the last moment, staring hard at you. Your eyes lift to meet his.
“I understand there’s a new vacancy in that residence now. Another rare occurrence.”
“Uh, yes, sir.”
“The milkman that was missing that day of your…indiscretion. Francis Moss, wasn’t it?”
“Mosses,” you correct, then wince internally.
“Yes. Him.”
You remain silent, your hand still stretched out, reaching for the paper. Your heart thuds in your chest. Please, just let me go. Please, please…
You suddenly have the document clutched tightly in your hand. He was letting you go after all. Freedom. You force yourself to walk from the room at a dignified pace, the paper carried in front of you like a shield. When you exit the office building your tense, rigid posture relaxes and you heave a sigh of relief. Another challenge overcome on the road to forever with your doppel.
***
You love coming home to your fiancé.
Seeing his delivery truck in the driveway. Soon you’ll be the one welcoming him inside every afternoon. But for now, he’s the first one to your inherited farmhouse, waiting for you on the porch he’d raced up to kiss you all those months ago, gifting you a taste of new rain and the smell of fresh petrichor.
“How did it go?” His tone is casual but you know better, seeing his white knuckled grip on the railing.
“I’m free.” You wave the letter in the air and he snatches it from your hand, hurriedly scanning the words.
“You really are,” he murmurs, looking bewildered and relieved.
“That doesn’t mean they won’t still be watching. But for now, for now…”
He smiles at you, one arm wrapping around your waist. “Should we celebrate?”
“What did you have in mind?”
“Hmmm…” He hums thoughtfully, his lips brushing your ear. “Come inside with me, love.”
***
There are little details of the house that bear traces of Francis Mosses, now. The crocheted blanket rests over your couch. The portable record player has a permanent home in your bedroom. The dresser hosts a collection of your doppel’s things: a belt, cologne, some spare change, a wooden handled hairbrush. There’s a shirt that needs mending hung on the post at the end of the bed.
“I’ll fix this later.”
“Mmm hmm.” His eyes never stray from your face. You sit on the edge of the bed and he kneels in front of you, sliding each shoe off, caressing your calves. You sink a hand into his hair, bending to plant a kiss on his forehead, inhaling his scent. Notes of bergamot, the clean citrus in his cologne. Your shampoo now in his hair. Strawberry. Everything a combination of you two. Already joined in so many ways.
His hand cups one knee, his palm warm and comforting over the joint. He slides it inside, stroking under your skirt, creeping between your thighs. He nudges at the clothing that is your work attire, shoving impatiently to gain better access. You accommodate him, pushing yourself back until you’re lying horizontally across the mattress, your skirt now rucked up around your hips, the doppel’s fingers dragging your panties out of the way.
“Need to be inside you, sweetheart.”
He’s on his hands and knees above you. You work on the fly of his pants. Your haste makes you clumsy. The metal teeth of the zipper catch on the fabric of his pants. He shakes his head, laughing softly, the sound turning to a growl when he struggles in your wake. It finally gives and he lowers himself down, guiding his cock into your entrance.
You gasp and his mouth crushes yours, swallowing the sound.
His hips press yours and you’re thinking of the nearby field with its fading summer flowers. That’s where you want to be wed. Here beneath the open sky, in this sanctuary of yours. You whisper it beside his cheek and he draws back, looking at your features. “Is that what you want, love?”
“Yes.” Your rock your pelvis against him, your legs wrapping around his body. “Elysium fields with my Elysian…”
“I love you,” he breathes. He thrusts and it hits something tender inside, the aching place deep in the hollow. Your fingers tangle together. Hot inside you. Something molten in your core. You’re melting. Clinging to him. The world shatters, comes back together in little pieces. Tired eyes gazing into your own. Soft smile.
***
You’re still tangled together.
Bodies intertwined. A comforter thrown over you both to ward off the chill of the oncoming autumn night. You’re discussing possible baby names again. You like the idea of something celestial. Named for the sun or the moon or one of the countless stars above. A constellation, an outline of a portrait when they arrange themselves just so. A planet, a galaxy. Infinite possibilities.
“It reminds me of a song,” Elysian murmurs. You’ve been taking turns tickling each other. You were losing horribly but determined to get revenge, making another attack along his unprotected ribs. He remains stoic and unresponsive despite your best efforts.
“What song?”
“Hmmm…” He hums thoughtfully. “In Other Words, I believe it’s called. How does it go?”
Fly me to the moon
And let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On-a Jupiter and Mars
In other words, hold my hand
In other words, darling, kiss me
Your heart lurches. It’s the melody. The one Francis used to hum. The replicant notices your teasing fingers grow still and he stops singing abruptly.
“What’s wrong?”
“That was the song. The one Francis used to hum all the time.”
“Oh, love. I didn’t realize…”
“Of course not. It’s okay. I’m okay.” Your eyes feel a little full, tears brimming.
“I know you still love him. I wouldn’t ask you not to. That wouldn’t be fair.” He drags a thumb across each cheek, close to your lashes, collecting the salted liquid. “He’s always going to be present in some regard. But I can’t resent him. I have to love him a little bit, too. Because he brought me to you.”
“What if I’d called the DDD that day? What if…” More tears escape. You’re suddenly overwhelmed. If you’d contacted the disposal team and destroyed him, this person that has become your world, created a new life with you…This song was what had finally swayed you. Another gift from Francis.
“Sweetheart. You didn’t. You let me into the building. Into your heart. There’s nothing there to be sorry about, from your perspective anyway. If I had to choose again, I would not see you hurt, I would not want to take him from you, but love, how could I ever give you up? I can’t. I could never. You’re carrying our future. You’re my forever.”
His lips graze yours. Your fingers curl around the back of his neck, drawing him more firmly against your mouth. “Sing the rest for me. I want to know all the words.”
Fill my heart with song
And let me sing forever more
You are all I long for
All I worship and adore
In other words, please be true
In other words, I love you
“I love you.”
You’re joined again. Hips and hands and mouths.
Maybe one day in the future you will be brave enough to travel with the alien into space. Explore the wonders of the heavens with your children by your side.
For now, you are content in this bliss on Earth.
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shy-girl04 · 2 months
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Oleg Oprisco
I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library.
Jorge Luis Borges
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the-book-gnome · 6 months
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Secret Obsession
Word Count: 1.7k
Pairings: Azriel x reader
Summary: After years of yearning for the Shadow-singer, you finally have a chance to act on your twisted urges
Warnings: smut, somnophilia, oral(male reiceveing) non-con if you squint, shadow play
A/n: This is definitely a little rough, it’s been awhile, the writing is probably not great but at least I tried
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“Please?”
“No.”
“Why not? It truly causes you no harm, it’s just a small request.”
“If you want Azriel then go get him, I am not going to play matchmaker for you.”
You rolled your eyes at Rhys, after three centuries he still refuses to help you with your feelings for his brother. It’s not that you fear Azriel, you simply don’t want to have to deal with the awkwardness of his rejection if things were to go wrong. And unfortunately with your luck that would be highly likely. “You act as if it would be a difficult task, all I’m asking is for you to set me up with him on a mission, I will do the rest of the work.”
“And you act like there is any part of you that is in any way good at spying,” A sly smirk spread on his face as he looked you up and down, “Or being quiet in general, I don’t believe there has been a single hour where you’ve been able to keep your mouth shut, you even talk in your sleep.”
“We’ll you're being a little rude today, trouble in paradise?” Now it was your turn to smirk as he growled at you, you batted your lashes to him and put on the sweetest smile known to male-kind, “Pretty please?”
Rhys rolled his eyes at you, “You’re obsession with my brother is quite annoying, and as honored as I am to be the only to know of your affections to him I will not help you, but, how about this,” Rhys took your arm in his as he lead you through the hallways of the house of wind, speaking quietly, “If you don’t approach Azriel by the end of the night and make your affections towards him known, then I’ll make sure to tell him of all of your most embarrassing thoughts of him, maybe I’ll even tell him how your mouth starts watering the second his scent reaches your nose or even all of those dark twisted fantasies you daydream about. I’m sure that’ll scare him off,” A soft laugh escaped his lips as he looked down at your petrified face, “But who knows, perhaps that’ll interest him, he does have a different taste then most I know.”
As you reached the dining room he let go of your arm and walked towards his mate, giving you a wink over his shoulder. You stood in the middle of the room, your face scrunched up in anger.
“At Least I’m not the only one he likes to piss off,” You jump a little as Nesta whispers into your ear. You grunted at her comment and relaxed your body, you both walked over to the table where the weekly family dinner took place. Rhys forces all of you to be there no matter how busy you may otherwise be. As per usual you take your seat to the left of Nesta, Cassian at her other side. What was unusual was when Azriel sat himself to your right, he had always sat next to Feyre, never you.
Azriel’s shadows floated over you, dragging across your cheek in greeting, it seemed they never behaved when you were within proximity. Azriel had given up on trying years ago. “If you don’t mind, could you come to the library with me after dinner, there’s some information I need to find and you would be a great help?” His voice was soft as he leaned in to whisper his request into your ear.
You simply nodded towards the male, always the perfect picture of boredom when he was around you. At that he gave a small smile, then started stacking food onto his plate, the rest of the inner circle had already started.
——————
You trailed after Azriel to the library, dinner was the same as always, as everyone spoke and made jokes together you simply raised the shield around yourself to conceal and scent and went into your mind, dreaming of those dark twisted fantasies Rhys had mentioned earlier.
Sometimes you feel guilty thinking of Azriel the way you do, all of the ways you would use his body for your own pleasure. How badly you wanted to make him beg for you. The day dream you had at dinner was quite captivating, it was most likely now or never with Rhys’s little threat, Azriel might run far from you if Rhys were to tell him those stories.
“I’ve already made a stack of books for us to read through, there’s quite a few so if you would like to stop at any time I won’t mind restarting in the morning.” Azriel had led you to a quiet lower level in the library, it was late, all of the priestesses had already gone to bed so it was just the two of you till morning. Perfect for what you want to do.
You sat in a cushioned chair adjacent to the one Azriel had sat in and began with the first book. It was extremely mind numbing, it took all your focus to read these books, often having to restart the page. Hours past by, you’ve made it through another book, a true mystery that was. Azriel had made it through three already. You glanced over at him, his face showed pure concentration, it was a wonder to you how he was so interested in these boring ass books. You let out a little sigh as you continued on with the reading.
With the fourth book you had finally found interesting bits and pieces, enough for you not to notice Azriel dozing off next to you. That was until you heard the softest of snoring coming from him. Your head snapped to his direction in confusion, he had never fallen asleep around you before. Part of you thought he never slept at all. You were in awe at the sight of it. The hardened features of his face softened, his plush lips slightly parted, the book in his hands about to fall to the floor. His shadows swirled around his body slowly as if they were falling asleep as well. You set your book down and made to reach for the one in his hands. When you touched it his shadows perked up assessing your intention, when you slipped the book from his hands and set it next to your own they glided over to you. They swirled around your arms, settling around your waist.
You looked back to Azriel who so conveniently was still fast asleep. The thoughts of your fantasy from dinner crossed your mind. And as you slid to the floor and sat yourself between the spymaster's legs, his shadows did nothing to wake him, as if knowing what you intended to do, letting you do it. You reached for the ties to his leather pants, hands shaking a bit, the excitement of what was about to happen going through you. The space between your thighs had started the second you saw him fast asleep next to you.
Once the ties were done with you watched as a small shadow played gently with his cock, the other moved up to his face, lazily stroking through his hair, making sure to keep their master asleep. You watched as his cock hardened through his leathers, the shadow working quickly for you as you were getting impatient. Your panties were already soaked with how excited you were to finally be able to touch him. You watched as the little shadow joined the other up by his hair. Biting your lip you moved your hands back to his lap, slowly pulling the fabric down just enough to pull Azriel’s cock out.
A breath escaped your lips as you laid your eyes upon it, so much bigger and thicker than you had thought possible. What the other females say about wingspan must have been true then.
His tip was red and looked almost painful, you looked up to him, his mouth parted a little more, his brows drawn together. It wasn’t your fault his shadows did this to him, if anything, you would only be helping him with his problem. You leaned forward and licked a bead of his liquid that leaked from his tip, moaning at the taste you went back for more, dragging your tongue from the base to the tip. You slid your mouth down a bit, sucking harshly, your grip on his cock tightened. Your eyes rolled as you truly tasted him. Azriel gasped at the feeling, still in a deep sleep thanks to the shadows.
You closed your eyes and took more of him in, going as deep as you could, what wouldn’t fit down your throat your hands took care of. Another breathless moan came from his lips as you started bobbing your head, tracing your tongue around the veins of his cock. His hands twitched next to you. You gaged every time he hit the back of your throat, that only drove you to go faster, every moan from him made you feel even more obsessed with him. You could feel his cock twitching, so close to his needed release. You indulged the needs of his body, stroking the base and adding pressure. You moved your mouth back to his tip, your hands taking over the rest of him, sucking and swirling your tongue around his head, that tipped his sleeping body over the edge, you both moaned the second his come coated your mouth. Azriel’s hips jerked and his moans continued, you’d never heard such beautiful sounds before.
You swallowed around him, licking up any of the mess he made. Before tucking his cock away you gave it a quick kiss, a farewell until you could play with him again. His shadows left his head, moving to dance across your body, slipping through your panties, you shooed them away, “Not yet,” You whispered, standing up on shaky legs, buzzing with need. You ignored those urges, wanting him to be awake when you put his cock in you.
You stroked your hand in his hair, leaning down to kiss his flushed cheeks. His eyes slowly fluttered, finally waking up. You left before he saw you, heading to the main doors of the library. He will assume you have gone to bed, and come to get you in the morning to continue with the reading. He would never suspect a thing. The only evidence was his untied strings, you did not remember that little fact though.
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kafkabot · 9 months
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"Anyone who cares about you has to realize that you need a little looking after."
Letters to Milena, Franz Kafka
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netherworldpost · 1 month
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So, So Many People: "What kind of fool would open an extremely niche, Halloween-focused greeting card company, in a digital world --
"That is steadily building a library of free-to-read online, pay-if-you-want printed versions, stories and rambles about slice-of-life adventures of monsters in paradise?"
Me: netherworldpost.com is open for business
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vanessavixenx2 · 9 months
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“I have always imagined that paradise will be a kind of library.” —Jorge Luis Borges 📖🤓 Vv xo
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enthusiasteditor · 2 months
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I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library.
- Jorge Luis Borges
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fantasylandloser · 1 year
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Cuddle Buddies
pairing: rafe x reader
Summary: reader is afraid of storms and seeks out rafe one night
Word Count: 3.1K
A/N: Don't we all need a little soft Rafe for Valentines day
Warnings: mentions of sex, what is proofreading?, what is editing?, Ward bc he's a loser but he's not bad in this,
******
Staying with the Cameron family was like paradise. There was non moldy food, an entire library that you had access to and no financial stress. Ward only asked a few things of you and they were all doable. 
The only problem you’d had so far was Rafe. He hated having you and John B there and he made sure you knew it. And for some reason he paid extra special attention to making sure he gave you the most hell. Probably because John B was dating Sarah and you’d seen her go toe to toe with him before.
It’s mostly small annoyances. He’ll get in the shower before you get the chance and stay in there for an hour just to use up all the hot water. He would eat the yogurt that Rose would buy just for you, even though he didn’t like it. Sometimes he’d even blast his speakers with that god awful shit he calls music. But even though all of this inconveniences you, you still liked living here better than John B’s. 
You had only Your mom comes and goes as she pleased and eventually the bills became too much for you and you got evicted. You hadn’t seen her since and DCS had been on you and John B’s case at the same time. So when Ward offered you sanctuary you jumped at the chance and you try to do everything humanly possible to keep him pleased.
It was one of ten thousand reasons Rafe hated you so much. Everytime he turned around his dad would be praising you for being such a hard worker, such a smart girl, so sweet, so kind, so caring. It never stopped. Ward  had not offered Rafe a kind word in months, but had nothing but good things to say to you. And with that, you were a pogue. So Rafe was able to justify why he treated you the way he did for months. 
Today Ward had decided to take the whole family fishing and he wanted to welcome you and John B, even though he already had. Wheezie was reading a book. Sarah and John B were nowhere to be found. Rose was already drinking even though it was seven in the morning. Rafe was on a chair with his eyes closed, you knew he wasn’t sleeping though because every few minutes he would open his eyes, glance at you like he was waiting for something and then close them  back. You knew Ward would be coming out in a few minutes and you wanted to look useful so you got up to grab the bait. Almost as soon as you lifted the heavy cooler, Ward appeared.
 “Rafe!” He exclaimed. “What’re you doing, you see a girl lifting heavy stuff, you pick it up for her.” He threw his arms out gesturing to you. “I mean what do you do all that working out for? For show.” Ward scoffed, muttering “Jesus” under his breath. 
You see Rafe’s face visibly darken from being reprimanded. As he huffs out a sorry to his dad that he definitely didn’t look like he meant, as he got up to help you. He easily snatched the heavy cooler from you. “Try not to do that all day.” Rafe told you, his tone low. And even though you feel bad that you got him yelled at, you can’t help but return the attitude. 
“Do what?” You ask, your head jerking  back at his tone. Rafe rolled his eyes like you knew exactly what he was talking about.
“Pick up heavy shit when you see my dad coming. I don’t care what you’re trying to prove, but you’re getting in my way.” He tells you, his tone condescending. “The helpless act doesn’t work for pogue girls.” Rafe finishes, his attitude more prominent than before. You scoff at his audacity ready to go in on him, walking behind his muscular figure as he moves the bait.
“First of all, nobody is trying to be helpless. Second of all, if you weren’t always sitting on your ass then maybe he wouldn’t feel like he needed to say that to you.” You clapback, fully aware that he probably wasn’t going to let that slide.
You see the wild look in his eye when he turns to look at you, it makes you nervous because sometimes Rafe could truly be mean.  Luckily for you, Ward had called him and he had walked away.
******
You and Rafe hadn’t had any more unpleasant interactions for the rest of the day. Actively avoiding each other, to not cause trouble even though that was Rafe’s default. Ward had called it a day pretty early after learning that a storm was rolling in. and knowing he didn’t want to be in that kind of weather. 
By the time you got home, it had started raining heavily and everyone was off to do their own thing. You went up to your room and after taking a shower and cleaning up some, you allowed the rain to lull you to sleep. 
It was the middle of the night when you woke up again. The loud crack of thunder disturbing your sleep and your peace. Usually when it was thundering like this, JJ would stay with you until you fell asleep because he knew how scared you were of storms. But as of right now he was on the other side of the island and you’d have to be a crazy person to go out in that storm. When you checked your phone the clock read one a.m and you knew it would be a while before you fell back asleep. There was also a missed call and a text from JJ checking to see if you were alright. And you really weren’t. 
You didn’t know what it was about storms that got you but fear gripped you every single time, there was more than rain. You laid there for about thirty minutes, willing yourself to go back to sleep, but your attempts were a failure. After one particularly loud crack of lightning that appeared really close to you, you’d went to look for John B. But he wasn’t in his room and you knew that meant he was in Sarah’s. And you didn’t want to walk in there because who knew what they could be doing. 
Shamefully, you stood outside of Rafe’s door contemplating whether or not you were going to knock, before you heard lightning strike again. Without thinking you didn’t knock, just entering his room, knowing he would hate that. Only to see him sleeping peacefully in his bed. His covers lowered to his hips, and not a single thread of clothing present on his chest.
‘Rafe” You called, your voice hushed and almost a whisper. He stirred slightly but didn’t wake up, forcing you to call him again. He looked confused as he opened his eyes, blinking for a second. When his eyes finally focused on you. He groaned, rubbing his eyes. 
“What could you possibly want right now?” He asked groggily. 
You take a moment to swallow your pride, knowing there was an eighty percent chance that he kicked you out, and a ninety-eight percent chance that he held this over your head. 
“It’s storming.” You say dumbly. Rafe’s face scrunches up at your obvious statement. “Thanks for stating the obvious. “ He scoffs. “Get to the point, I’m tired.” He hurried you along.
“Can I sleep in here?” You whisper, your face heating up in embarrassment. 
Rafe almost laughed, as he prepared himself to say no, but when he looked at you in your cute pink pajamas and the way you were holding onto yourself. He’d always thought of himself as a protector, and obviously you thought so too if you came to him while you were scared. He knew he had to protect you, even if it was just from a stupid storm. 
Grumpily, he threw a pillow at you, and scooted closer to one side of the bed. “Stay on that side.” He tells you, closing his eyes back. You were shocked for a second, but you wordlessly climbed into the other side of his bed, trying not to further inconvenience him. Settling into his warm bed felt weird but also right, his bed was comfortable and it smelled like him, and even though you hated to admit it, Rafe smelled good. 
Your comfort only lasted for a minute before you were jumping at the sound of a branch hitting the window. Rafe groaned behind you, irritated. His arm circles around your waist and he yanks you closer to him, almost roughly. “Go. to. Sleep.” He punctuated. The weight of his arm pushing down into you. Comforting you, you realize. And before you know it, you allow yourself to be lulled to sleep, your breathing syncing up with Rafe’s.
******
Rafe and you had continued on with the regularly scheduled programming after that. Getting into dumb fights, him being petty all the time, but surprisingly never bringing up that night. When the next storm rolled around, and you knocked on his door. He wordlessly let you in and it had become a routine. Rafe even started to find himself looking forward to storming nights, even after arguing with you all day.He liked that you needed him to feel safe. No one had ever needed him before. 
The mornings had never been awkward; you'd wake up before him and leave because you were naturally an early riser and that was that. Until one particular morning, you had just been extra tired and happened to sleep later than usual. When you woke up you found your head buried on Rafe’s bare chest, which happened often and was another thing you didn’t talk about. His strong arm wrapped around your body holding you close to him, but none of that is why this was awkward. When you looked up Rafe was looking back at you. He was holding you and he was awake? He was holding you and he was conscious. He was holding you on purpose. 
He looked embarrassed to have been caught, and he was. He was just used to you already being gone when he woke up. He never got to see what you looked like when you were just laying there peacefully, not bitching, not being a kiss ass to his dad. Just sweet, and cute, a pretty girl that was laying on his chest. 
Rafe cleared his throat, letting you go as he saw the look on your face and realized how weird this was. “You snore.” He tells you, trying to deflect his embarrassment.
“No I don’t!” You scoff, rising up slightly. 
“Yeah you do.” Rafe laughs. “I thought you were choking.” He exaggerates, and you can’t help but think about how boyish he looks when he laughs. Not as calculating, or mean. 
“Whatever, I don’t snore.” You say rolling your eyes.
“Sure you don’t.”  A swift silence settles over you and Rafe is still smiling for a second. Until a knock comes to Rafe’s door, only for it to be pushed open a second later. 
“Rafe your Dad said-” Rose stops talking the minute she sees the two of you. Her eyes widen and you immediately know what it looks like. Rafe isn’t wearing a shirt, and you’re dressed in your shortest shorts, and sitting in between his legs. There’s no universe where this doesn’t look bad. It doesn’t help that both you and Rafe look like you got your hand caught in the cookie jar, faces reddening, and eyes widening and for some reason frozen.
“Oh..” Rose gasps. “I’m just gonna-” She blinks, obviously still shocked, especially with the way that the two of you stay at each other's throats. Without even saying anything else she simply closes the door leaving you two sitting there dumbfounded. 
******
“Okay guys…”Ward starts. “I called this family meeting because it has come to my attention that we need to talk about the rules in this house.” Your face reddens as Ward gives you a pointed look. John B and Sarah look confused, but Rose and Rafe look just as embarrassed as you feel. 
“I know you guys are attractive young adults living in the same house and that makes avoiding …temptation much harder.”  You sink into your chair, wishing a hole would swallow you up the more he continued to talk. “But I think you can do it. Now we’re all close here so I think I can speak honestly. Right?” He doesn’t wait for an answer before he continues on. 
“John B no more sneaking’ into Sarah’s room before seven a.m and I want you out of there by ten every night. You copy?” John B flushes lightly, thinking he’d been stealthy before nodding. Even though Sarah protested. “Dad, come onnn.” She whines. 
“That’s the end of it Sarah.” Ward dismisses, before looking at you and Rafe, much to your dismay. “Now I don’t know what the two of you have going on, and I’m not sure I want to know-” Sarah gasps loudly at this new information, only for Ward to raise his hand up quickly to silence her for a second. “I know you’re both old enough to make these decisions-” Rafe is radio silent and you were hoping he’d speak up so you didn’t have to. “But as of right now this is the house rule, no spending the night in each other's bed, unless you’re married.” He finishes.
“Mr. Cameron, it's really not like that.” You try your face flushing. “Me and Rafe are just-” Rafe clasps his hand over your mouth, much to everyone’s shock. “We hear you Dad. Loud and clear.” He says not wanting you to tell everyone that you’re cuddle buddies or whatever the fuck you were going to say which would have ranged on the same level of embarrassing for him. You look at him in shock, pushing his hand away, but not even bothering to further embarrass yourself. Rafe saw how mad you were though, your arms crossing over your chest, and you turning your legs away from him. He also couldn’t ignore the small pout that had possessed your full lips.
“Well okay, this has gotten weirder.” Ward said,  mostly to himself, while Rose nodded in agreement. “So how about we just remember the rules, and hopefully we’ll never have to talk about this again.” Ward proposed, trying to air out the awkwardness. Everyone nodded immediately which caused him to get up, wiping his hands off on his pants. 
“Come here, son. Let me talk to you really quick.” Ward gestured to Rafe. Rafe resisted groaning and followed behind him leaving you to the questioning looks of John B and Sarah. “Rafe? Really?” Sarah asked, laughing a little. 
“It’s not like that!” You exclaim, your face heating up. 
“It looked like it was like that this morning.” Rose joined in, much to your shock. John B joined the teasing with a gasp. “How scandalous!” Sarah was laughing so hard tears started to come out her eyes.
“Guys stop!” You say embarrassed, but not saying anything else because it seemed like Rafe didn’t want anyone to know.
“Okay fine. You’re no fun.” Rose tells you, picking her drink back up and sipping with a grin on her face, leading John B and Sarah to leave you alone as well.
****
You hadn’t even glanced at Rafe in three days. You were irritated with him for making it seem like you were doing what they thought you were doing. Sex. And he felt like he’d been paying for it. He liked having your attention. Even if you were arguing with him, rolling your eyes at something he said, anything really. So to be deprived of it for three days was driving him insane.
 He looked up the weather forecast at least six times a day, praying for a storm to roll through. When he finally got lucky and heard thunder crackle down, he was bouncing with anticipation, waiting for you to show up at his door. 
When you didn’t he went looking for you, only to be surprised that you weren’t in your room. He started to check everywhere. When he couldn’t find you he swallowed his pride and opened John B’s door to ask if he knew where you went, only to see you in there, in his favorite pajama set of yours, it was silk with cherries on it. You lay in between John B and Sarah, ironically watching a scary movie. 
Everyone’s eyes diverted to Rafe. Confused as to why he was standing at John B’s door, knowing he’d never gone near there since he started staying here. “It’s after ten.” Rafe points out. Feeling jealousy stirred at the fact that you went to someone else. 
“Dad approved since she’s scared of storms.” Sarah tells him, sticking her tongue out only for him to roll his eyes. He watches you and the way your eyes went back to the TV, continuing to ignore him. Rafe didn’t think he could take being ignored by you, while you were in another guy's bed, wearing his favorite pajamas, on a stormy night. Which were his nights. 
He entered the room standing at the edge of the bed, right in front of the TV, making John B groan. He’s shirtless, it was the first thing you noticed when he opened the door. Only clad in plaid pajama pants. 
“You’re still ignoring me?” He asks, only for you to not say anything back. He hated that. It was one thing to ignore him when you were by yourselves, but it was an entire different thing to ignore him in front of other people. Especially when your relationship was so weird. Nothing spoken on, or reassured. 
“M’sorry, okay?” He mumbles. Embarrassed he had to humble himself in front of idiots like John B and his sister. This piqued your attention, never hearing Rafe apologize before, your eyes meeting his. You’re shocked. 
“Come on, don’t you think they wanna be alone.” He tried guilting.
“We’d love to be alone.” John B weighed in, leading Sarah to reach over you and smack his chest. He winced. 
When you didn’t say anything, Rafe got impatient pulling your leg, so that he could reach the rest of you better, as the rest of your body reached the edge of the bed. 
“Rafe!” You exclaimed. Surprised by the fast motion of it. He didn’t say anything, he just hoisted you over his shoulder. “We’ll talk about it in my room.” He said, not wanting to let his sister, and her loser boyfriend in anymore of his business. But truthfully you didn’t need to talk about it, because this was the first time he’d ever come to you. All was forgiven the moment you’d seen him at the door.
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queerponcho · 4 months
Text
Transfixed | part 1
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collage made by me with pictures from pinterest
moonknight!system x female!reader
a/n: been writing this fic for about a year now so it's nerve-wrecking to finally post the first chapter. I hope you'll like it!! (pls be gentle...)
thanks to the lovely @nexusnyx for motivating me a few weeks ago, would've never considered posting without having our convo the other day!! Thank you so much<33
Warnings: no use of Y/N, fluff, NOT beta read, gushing about the moonboys, flustered awkward dorks, plot-twists, (eventual smut, the chapters will be marked individually), inaccurate depictions of DID, egyptian mythology and religion (although I did extensive research I took liberty in changing some things to adhere to my plot...), if I missed anything or made any spelling mistakes pls don't hesitate to tell me!
Summary: You're a woman who as been visiting the same library for all your life. One day a handsome new face comes walking in. That's the moment when the ball starts rolling and your entire life changes. Will you accept the new challanges coming your way...?
2,200 words
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You have been visiting the same library all your life. While you were in school you  would go there to have a quiet place to study. Since at home you always had a lot of family and busy energy around, you needed the library as sort of an...escape from all the noise. Later when you got into university, the library had become kind of a safe space for you. So you would rather sit in the bus for half an hour to and back to study there instead of the grimy and packed library on campus.
Even now that you work and have enough books at home to basically open your own library, you still can't part from your little paradise. Everyone knows you here and a few months ago the owners of the library even adopted a cat that seemed to really like you. So chances of moving on from here had definitely been ruined.
You loved reading all kinds of story based books, but spending so much time here made you curious, so you also picked up a few skill based ones. you had read a few gardening and science books but the ones you would actually start applying were the books that had to-do with art. Autobiographies of different artists and painters, different studies and research on colour and brushes. You became almost a bit obsessed at some point. So you started sketching and drawing things around you based on the knowledge you'd gathered from your extensive research. you would draw people around the library after work or before meeting friends in the nearby café. You'd never claim to be an artist but you were proud of your drawings nonetheless. for the past few weeks you had started to draw one very specific person. You saw them for the first time a bit over a month ago…
It was a rainy day and you'd just finished lunch with a friend. You said goodbye and you decided to head to the library to continue on with your sketches of the cute ginger kitten. After saying hello to the owners and giving the kitten a treat, you made your way to your usual corner in the back. Since the library wasn't very big you had a good view of the entrance and a few tables. you'd been sitting and drawing for about ten minutes when you noticed the kitten smelling your coat pocket in search of more treats. You smiled down at her 'hiiii kitty!' you picked her up and placed her on your little round table. 'you want another treat huh?' She looked back with big shiny eyes 'alright alright...there you go'. She happily chewed on the fish-shaped cookie while you continued drawing her. 
The familiar noise of the door opening caught your attention....a man came in, he was wearing a brown flat-cap which was obscuring your vision of his face. He reached to take it off with a gloved hand and pushed his black curls back to reveal the face, of what you could only describe, a Greek god. He had strong and angular features, a sharp jawline and a beautiful slightly crooked nose which you felt the need to trace over with your finger. He had crows feet decorating his eyes, you'd assume he had them from laughing but seeing his resting facial expression, smiling almost seemed to be a foreign task to him. He brushed the remaining rain off his shoulders and made his way to the history section. When he disappeared behind a shelf you were brought back from your trance and took the first breath in what seemed like minutes. 
You wondered what he would be looking for in the history section of this old library. You were in London, a place with alot of people, then again this library was old and in a secluded part of town so it was usually the same people walking in and out. You would definitely remember his face if you had seen it before. Whatever it was that he was looking for he had apparently found since he was making his way to the register with a thick leather bound book in his glove covered hand. You had a bit of a thing for hands and you knew you'd be sketching hands for the next few hours because of this stranger. He hastily left the library and was gone as fast and suddenly as he appeared. After that day you couldn't stop drawing that pretty stranger, you'd given him multiple names during this time. His name had been Jack, Edward, Steve, Malcom and many more. you'd started just drawing his gloved hands and his forearms but quickly you would switch to drawing his intense gaze and soft curls. The amount of times you fantasised about running your fingers through them and tugging slightly had you embarrassed. It had been weeks since you'd seen him and you wouldn't stop imagining him in your apartment just sitting next to you, sometimes you would also imagine him a bit closer and wearing a little less clothing…
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A month had passed since you'd seen him and you finally managed to stop drawing him and went back to drawing people around the library. Though you still looked up when the door opened and a new customer came in hoping for your handsome stranger to come in and maybe stay a little this time so you could find out more about him and his movements, for drawing references of course...nothing else. It seemed the universe wanted to help you out, because the next time the bell chimed and a customer walked in, the familiar brown flat-cap wearing stranger entered. This time it was warm and sunny outside so he wasn't wearing any gloves and wore a white fitted polo. His muscles were visibly moving underneath the fabric of his sleeves when he reached up to take off his hat and ruffle through his hair with the same intention as last time. He was also holding the same thick leather bound book from his last visit to the library.
 According to the owners he couldn't buy that one since it was rare literature, so he got to borrow it for a month...you knew this because you may have asked about him and his purchase after he left. This was also when you found out that the book he borrowed was about an Egyptian god. During your time in this library you have read books on Egyptian history and it did peak your interest. All this time you’d never even noticed that book before? Recently, you’d been spending a lot more time studying in that part of the library, so overseeing such a unique looking book was very strange of you.
You see him talking to the owners, it was quiet enough to make out parts of the conversation. It was 10am on a Tuesday so you were pretty much the only customer here. He had a pretty strong Latin accent and you were pretty sure he was from mexico. part of your family is from south America so you grew up learning Spanish and you remember hearing them speak English with that exact same accent. 
He was thanking them for the book and asking if he could take a look around the library again. The owners kindly told him to go ahead and that he didn't even need to ask. He briefly nodded his head mumbling a quick 'gracias' and went over to the history section. You watched intently and spontaneously decided to head in the same direction. You felt a bit creepy lurking on this man but you were sure you wouldn't get caught since you were rarely a very visible person. it's not that you didn't have a strong presence but you know how to blend in really well and when to use that to your advantage. You hid behind the shelf of the history section facing his profile. He really was a pretty man, his eyes were squinting and his bold eyebrows furrowed. There was a stray curl hanging over them and you badly wanted to brush it back and feel his thick hair between your fingers...you couldn't of course, since you were too preoccupied drawing him at the moment. The window was creating beautiful shadows beneath his hooded eyes and high cheekbones. His jaw looked sharper than ever and his neck extremely kissable. His lips needed an honourable mention, they were like two squishy pillows that were begging to be bitten. You've been paying special interest to them and trying to get the details just right, so you didn't notice that he had moved from his previous spot. 
You couldn't see him anywhere and were actually kind of disappointed to think he probably left. you were about to turn around and go back to your discarded belongings when you accidentally bumped into someone while moving backwards. 'ohssshit! i- i am so so sorry um- i didn't mean to wal-'
you had managed to pick up your pencil, sketchbook, and hopefully all of the scattered pages- when you finally looked up just to be faced with the god-like looking man you had been fawning over for a month now. he was practically towering over you and… was that a smirk? If you weren't already kneeling on the floor right now you would've probably lost your balance. 'hola~ I don't mind this view but do you need help standing up, muñeca?' This is when you realised that you were on your knees in front of the most attractive man you have ever seen and you quickly scrambled to your feet 'nono um thank you-' 
'Jake, my name's Jake' he stuck out his hand and you introduced yourself after thanking him again. So his name was jake...huh pretty basic for a man like him. You were kind of joking when you temporarily gave him very basic names but you guess his parents weren't much more creative than you are. 
You realised you were staring when he raised his left eyebrow and started grinning.
 'So...why were you spying on me?' He asked cockily and it had you word-vomiting all over the place 'what? i wasn't-? I-I was just…drawing-?' pretty hard to sound convincing when finishing every statement with a question mark... 'yeah I know-' he looked you up and down and coming a bit closer 'I saw you get lost in your notebook and I just had to come see what you are drawing that garnered all of your precious attention, hermosa' 
The nicknames were really starting to get to you, making you feel all sweaty and nervous. you were clenching the book to your chest accidentally pushing up your breasts and making your cleavage much more noticeable. you saw him glancing down, taking his time in bringing his eyes back up your neck and finally to your face. This entire time you were basically pressed into his chest, you were leaning on the shelf and he didn't seem like he wanted to move anytime soon 'h-how long were you looking over my shoulder exactly?'
 'Long enough to see what had you so...como se dice...transfixed' Your breath hitched and he answered with a toothy grin. 
'I am flattered, preciosa. I really am, didn't think someone as pretty as you would follow me around the library just to draw my hands and ass' 
You push him back- 'I did NOT draw your ass! I-' You were interrupted by his chuckle and him moving closer again and grabbing your chin between his fingers and caging you in with his other arm. 'I know muñeca , I just like seeing you flustered...toda nerviosilla...it's cute.' At this point you’ve decided it's best if you just don't speak. '...maybe next time you can draw me shirtless? I would love to see you solely focused on my abs for half an hour.' He flashes you a toothy grin. Oh he’s getting too cocky…somehow you manage to move away from the bookshelf, momentarily getting even closer to him. After seeing his eyes flicker with surprise you move to the side, backing away from him. Turn around finally being able to take a breath of normal air that wasn't deliciously tinted with his aftershave. 
'Sure, next time you can waltz into the library without a shirt on and we will see how far you get before being kicked out' you say while looking over your shoulder. 
 'Seeing your reaction would be worth it, nena' he called after you, not even registering your feet carrying you back to your corner. you took a deep breath replaying what just happened. He should not have this effect on you, it's almost embarrassing how easily he got so close to you. You are a grown woman, damnit! How did you not shove him away and get mad at his advances? You should be creeped out but you notice how you’re wishing to bump into him again soon...you hear the doorbell ring and see him walk out. He takes one look back and holds up a piece of paper. ‘Oh fuck me’ you feel your feet glued to the floor when you see what it is…its a drawing you made of him. It was a closeup of his torso upwards. You had drawn him from above and he was laying in your bed with heavy lidded eyes and parted lips. you were absolutely mortified- he was grinning like an idiot and winked at you before storing the drawing in his back pocket, crossing the street and vanishing from your eye-line. leaving you in the library, plagued by his stupid masculine scent and his dumb pretty face.
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a/n: I really hope you enjoyed the first chapter, I've got a few already locked and loaded sooo the next one should be posted soon. Pls like and reblog if you liked it<3 it would mean the world!
part two
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koolades-world · 3 months
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the fear of loss (satan x reader)
What is it to lose?
When Satan thought about loss, first his mind always made it's way to that book he was in the middle of reading that he'd managed to misplace, or how his favorite pen was missing somewhere in his bag again. A button popped off his shirt, or a missed opportunity to give back something he borrowed. It was something mildly annoying at most.
As he thought more, he began to dig deeper into the definition/ Sometimes, a plant he'd been working hard to take care of would die, or one of his beloved cats would go missing. Breaking the cover off a book by accident, or the handcrafted bookmark finally coming fully unraveled. With the help of magic, though, this could easily be resolved and made right, or the way they were previously. It was something that hurt more to think about.
However, when he was having a bad day or he somehow managed to slide into the slippery pit of the meaning of his existence, loss meant more than just that to him. Mc was the light of his life. They showed him that he didn't need to prove to anyone that he wasn't Lucifer. They indulged him and his interests in a way his brothers never did. He couldn't imagine living without them. It was something that felt like it was ripping the very fabric of his being to pieces.
In retrospect, he was quite young and had much to learn. His brothers had experienced this already, when they lost Lilith. He couldn't imagine spending an eternity in paradise with someone you loved, just to have them ripped away in such a way. They couldn't have seen it coming. He'd never asked, but he wasn't even sure they'd considered it as a possibility; that god might strike down one of his own angels to such an extent of no return.
Mc had only been with him for a relatively short period of time, but he was a changed demon with them in his life. He knew humans' time was limited, and before his eyes, even if he tried to ignore it, he just couldn't. While he shared some of these sentiments, such as staying up too late binge reading and getting eyebags, the fact that they were human spoke louder than anything else. The gradual development of aches and pains that they seemed set on ignoring, the formation of crows feet and smiles lines. While he remained the same: unchanged. Aging wasn't something he'd considered until the exchange program.
Loss was something Mc had seem to come to terms with. He wished he could too. He had much to learn, even from a being much younger than himself. They had told him many stories about their life, and even if they weren't the focal point of the tale, loss was ingrained within them. Satan had met many powerful beings, but none of which seemed as content as Mc did with the idea of death.
Eventually, he decided to ask them himself. He didn't know what he was expecting, but it wasn't what they told him. Mc told him they knew there was no going back or redoing anything that has already been done, so they wanted to live life to the fullest. They didn't want to cling onto something they knew wouldn't last, so there was no point in worrying. They did tell him that they were kind of afraid, but that that was normal. Living life to the fullest was most important to them.
After that, he resolved to take them to experience anything and everything he could think of that he thought they might like. While he was a creature of habit who loved to do most of the same things daily, he began to branch out and took them all over the Devildom. For a while, many words unspoken floated between himself and Mc, until they eventually thanked him, because they hadn't forgotten that conversation either. It was that day, he realized, he was actually afraid to lose Mc.
He was afraid to wake up without them by his side. He was afraid to eat breakfast by himself. He was afraid to walk to RAD without them. He was afraid to sit at lunch alone. He was afraid to sit by himself in the library. He was afraid to read in silence by himself. He was afraid to spend every night by himself.
He was afraid to be alone again.
So, he promised himself that he'd treasure them and everything they had together, while he still could. He let them know much he actually loves and cares for them. He held them close and treated them to everything they wanted, before he couldn't any longer.
He didn't let Mc know about the growing ache in his heart as he thought about their future together.
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ancientsstudies · 2 years
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I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of a Library.
ig credit: danielapardor.
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