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tangledinink · 16 days

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whining. pouting. sulking, even. he better not use my NICE body wash...

✩ the gemini ✩ [ start ] [ prev ] [ next ]

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jayninjago · 4 months

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Rumi my darling<3

#for an unspecified au btw #self harm #implied eating disorder #mxt

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gotta-pet-em-all · 4 months

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Pelipper Mail! A nightmare, not yours, but that hits uncomfortably close to home regardless.

Your mother does not love you. She says she does, when she tucks you in at night and ruffles your hair and says she'll see you in the morning.

You rarely see her in the morning.

She never talks about you, either. She keeps you secret, like a shameful mark on her life, hidden away from the people she says she's friends with.

You don't even know her name, because you're never around people who would say it.

She says she loves you. She makes sure you have food and home and a roof over your head. But she never talks about you, never takes you out to the park or plays with you like the few other kids you know get to with their parents.

You don't think she loves you.

And one day she doesn't come home. She leaves you there, forgets about you. Washes her hands of you. Kicks the weight on her existence to the curb, cleans you out of it like a stubborn stain on her dress. She doesn't come home. At the very least, she used to come home.

You think maybe she's busy, the first night. And then she doesn't come back the second, or the third. She's left you alone. You have no idea who you could go to for help.

You are tiny and young and scared and alone, and you curl up into a ball on the floor, rocking yourself back and forth, knowing no one knows to look for you.

....i don't know whose mom that was. But.... it was actually nice. She bothered to pretend for me. She fed me. Like, consistently gave me food all of the time and never stole it off my plate in the dream. That was nice.

#rotomblr nightmare exchange program #implied child abuse #implied eating disorder #ask to tag

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messysketchyobeyme · 2 years

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Sometimes I think about how two of Asmo’s biggest insecurities appearance wise is gaining weight and getting acne.

We see this in chats like "Beel’s Fitness 1,” where he gets really upset over gaining a single gram of weight after eating some food from a party. Asmo’s issues with weight pops up in the main story/events, too. Sometimes he mentions going on a diet, having to exercise to stay in shape, and avoiding junk food. This isn’t bad on its own, obviously, but considering how only gaining one gram in weight upsets him this much, it is apparent that a deeper insecurity is at play. Not to mention how in one of Satan’s homescreen dialogues, he mentions how he caught Asmo sneaking cake one time. It makes me wonder how many times he has refused sweets to maintain his figure, only to go back and eat some when nobody’s looking.

We see other main appearance-related insecurity in the phone call ‘Volcanic Eruption Warning.” In it, he cancels MC’s date because he has a pimple that he isn’t able to cover up with makeup. Asmo assumes that MC wouldn’t want to be seen with him when he’s “in such a horrendous state.” If MC refutes that claim, he calls them sweet, and then he...still doesn’t go on the date. He resigns to his fate and makes plans for the next date, instead.

And, I can’t help but think about what would happen if MC were to have those traits. I know that MC doesn’t have a set appearance, but it is kind of implied that they are conventionally attractive. How would Asmo react if MC was overweight, had acne/imperfect skin, and had other features that Asmo is so harsh on himself over?

I sort of feel like he wouldn’t care. At least, not at first?? When MC first arrives for the exchange program, he probably wouldn’t give them a second thought. Maybe he’d offer to do yoga with them or something, but that’s it. After a while, though, he gets to know them on a personal level, and starts to realize that he likes them romantically. He soon understand that he loves MC, not in spite of their appearance, but due to it. It would probably cause him to start realizing how toxic his mindset it.

After centuries of berating himself for gaining even the tiniest bit of weight or getting the smallest pimple, fearing that he’d be deemed as ugly, MC comes along with a body type and features that he absolutely adores. Asmo isn’t a particular fan of self-reflection. He finds it to be a tad drab, but sooner or later he’s forced to come to terms that maybe, just maybe, he’s being too harsh on himself and on his body.

Asmo is the most beautiful being in all of the Devildom, and a little bit of weight or zits can hardly change that. Though, I think his journey realizing this would be a long one.

If I hadn’t made this apparent enough, I don’t believe that Asmo genuinely deems the traits I listed above to be ‘unattractive’ because A) they’re not lol and B) due to his own insecurities, I think Asmo would be a little hypocritical when it comes to what he deems attractive for himself and what he considers attractive for others.

#Obey Me #Obey Me Asmodeus #Obey Me MC #Ask to tag #Body Issues #body dysmorphia #Implied eating disorder #insecurities

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rojoranger · 1 year

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"I'm trying, I just can't get rid of this." Jason pinches the baby fat on his cheeks.

"Why would you want to get rid of it?" Zack wonders aloud.

His "boss" looks at him like he's the stupidest person in North America.

"I look like a child. It clashes with the whole-"

"Your super toned abs?" Real subtle, Zack.

"Yeah. Still feels weird."

"What does?"

"Having abs."

"Thought you just came straight outta the womb like that." Perfect, is what Zack would add if he was actually as brave as people thought he was.

"Me? I was a really chubby kid."

Zack stares at him, offering undivided attention, and Jason scoffs, clearly misreading his expression for shock.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. Just don't tell-"

"I'm not laughing, and I'm not gonna tell anyone."

He personally didn't see why Jason was acting like this was a bigger secret than the fact that they were fucking Power Rangers. Knowing Jason, though, he had his reasons.

"I know it's hard to believe. I wanted it that way. The road to perfection is long, my friend."

Zack wants to shake some sense into the other boy. He's talking bullshit! "But you're already perfect!" he blurts.

Jason blushes up to his ears, pursing his lips.

"You say that now. In a few weeks, I'll have an actual jawline. Just gotta work harder."

"No, no you don't."

Zack shoves down the feeling of dread growing in the pit of his stomach. Work? What the fuck did he mean by that?

"What?"

"You don't need to change anything."

"I'm flattered by the sentiment, but you don't understand!"

"You're right, I don't. So... tell me. I'm listening."

Jason sighs, looking anywhere but at Zack. "Being the largest person in the room, the slowest one, the last one picked for gym class... everyone ignoring you unless they wanna poke fun... takes a toll on you. I wanted- I want to be perfect. No one took me seriously as the fat kid. With the team and all, they probably don't even-" he breaks off, sniffling.

"Jase... we listen to you more than we do our own parents. You're the same age as us, but we look up to you. I'm not saying this for you to put more pressure on yourself. We don't follow your lead or like you because you're fit. You're a great leader."

The blond's eyes widen, watering with every word coming out of Zack's mouth. "You don't think it's stupid? Babyish?"

"Having body fat is natural. Healthy. I don't care what your brain or anyone else tells you. Jason Lee Scott, I'd follow you till the ends of the earth. I think you're perfect no matter what you do or say, and yes, that includes how you look."

"You wouldn't look at me twice if I was still fat," Jason mutters, angry, insistent.

"Gonna let you in on a little secret, Red."

"What."

"I totally would. I'd look at you like I'm looking at you right now."

"W-would you do anything else?"

"I'd kiss you if you wanted."

Jason fucking whimpers as Zack invades his personal space, kissing him.

"I've been wanting to do that since we met."

"You have a thing for hard asses?"

"I like hard, sure." Zack then pokes Jason's squishy cheek, ignoring the other boy's indignant squawks. "I'm a pretty big fan of soft, too."

#zason #jason lee scott x zack taylor #tw body image #implied eating disorder #my writing #chubby!jason #i just think they're neat #not checked for errors btw

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the-sprog · 2 years

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Y'know.

I used to cry a lot in school.

I had... Speaking issues. I would just lose my ability to speak when put in the spotlight.

I got a lot of bad grades because of it. Since I wouldn't answer any questions, wouldn't even look at the teachers.

I got in trouble a lot because of it.

I was "making a scene".

"If you want a good grade you should study, not make a scene after you realize you have to deal with the consequences of your actions"

I stopped studying and applying myself.

I would get the same result but at least I wouldn't make a scene.

I stopped crying in school.

I started crying at home.

I'd get a bad grade. I'd feel sad and angry with myself. I'd feel like I'm truly and just irrevocably dumb.

That's how those teachers made me feel.

I used to have a classmate who had a similar problem to mine.

She was diagnosed with social anxiety at one point.

I got caught puking in the school bathrooms more times than I can count.

I'm jealous.

Of her. Of her parents. Of the people in her life that noticed something wasn't good and got her the help she needed.

I'm bitter.

About all the teachers who saw me get a panic attack when I was forced to write in pen and did nothing about it.

About the teacher who made comments about how I dressed and yelled at me when I didn't laugh at his "joke".

I don't cry in front of people anymore.

I used to do that a lot.

I didn't have a lot of friends... I still don't if I have to be honest.

People had a tendency of not showing up to my birthday party.

I don't like my birthday anymore.

I learned that people prefer if you act dizzy. Like you don't care. You're... Taking it in stride if you don't react. If you're apathetic to your own failures.

I learned to laugh. To joke. To not study and make a funny story up.

I'd cry a lot when I got home.

Never in front of my parents. They've never liked when I felt negative emotions. They always yell at me when I'm sad.

I wonder, sometimes. If someone had noticed, if they'd care. I wonder if I would've been happy. Happy enough to not cry in the privacy of my bedroom every time I get home.

#vent #vent post #reference to eds #reference to eating disorders #implied eating disorder #geez lots of feelings on thsi one #i failed my driving test again #and my mom yelled at me because of uni #all in 2 wonderful hours #so i had feelings to process.

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lemonlillybee · 2 years

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Whumptober Day 28

Title: It’s Just the Tip of the Iceberg

Prompt: Headache @whumptober

Fandom: Spider-Man (MCU)

Word Count: 913

A/N: I also used this tumblr prompt and will be expanding this drabble to a longer story that will be posted next month

Read on AO3

It’s not all bad, at first.

At first, becoming Spider-Man is the best thing that’s ever happened to Peter Parker. He doesn’t hate his life, but he doesn’t love it, either, and when he gets bitten by a radioactive spider and gains the ability to climb walls, he feels like he maybe finally has a purpose beyond getting stuffed into his locker on a daily basis.

The strength alone is both incredible and dizzyingly terrifying. He knows what kind of things he could do with this kind of strength, and it doesn't seem like a high schooler should really have that kind of power. He likes the power, though. The spider bite does things to his body that make him feel powerful, and alive, and when he starts to use it to help people in his neighborhood it makes him feel as if he can finally see a future for himself that doesn’t depend on how much money his aunt doesn’t have.

It also means that he has to keep secrets from his aunt and he’s always cold and he gets beat up at school by Flash and also at night by thugs in dark alleyways when he makes a mistake. It means he has to sneak around at school to make web fluid and hide stab wounds and pretend like he can’t do push ups in P.E. It means he has to constantly eat food to fuel his new body.

It takes him a while to adjust to his new metabolism.

May can’t afford to feed a regular teenager, let alone a superpowered one, so he tries to get by on cheap ramen and dry cereal and canned vegetables and goes to bed so hungry his stomach feels like it’s trying to eat itself.

Sometimes, he gets free food from people he helps when he’s Spider-Man. Today, he gets a hotdog and a bag of chips from a man who dropped his keys into a storm drain and he swings home to eat the meal. He can hear May out in the kitchen as he shoves the food into his face and quickly changes out of his suit.

“Peter? Is that you? Are you home?”

He dashes out of his room and finds her packing her bag for work.

“Hi, May,” he greets her, and she pulls him into a quick hug, kissing the side of his head and laughing when he rolls his eyes and ducks away.

“I’ll make you something for dinner before I head out,” she says, going to the pantry and rummaging around for a moment. Peter knows there isn’t anything in there though, because they haven’t gone grocery shopping for the week yet.

“I already ate!” He says, and May pops her head around the pantry door to raise an eyebrow at him.

“When?”

“With Ned,” he says, and it isn’t a complete lie because he sat with Ned during lunch earlier at school.

May nods and looks like she might say something else, but then she checks the time on her phone and grabs her bag and kisses Peter’s head again and he calls out “I larb you too, May” after her as she leaves and it’s the exact same conversation they have every day.

Every day, for six months, he marvels in his new powers and helps people in the city and tries to eat enough food to not pass out.

And then, Tony Stark comes into his life.

After Germany, he starts to patrol more. He burns more energy. And Tony Stark– Iron Man– feeds him. And at first, it’s great. It’s perfect. It’s exactly what his body needs. He gets whole pizzas to himself and he finds snacks in his backpack and there’s suddenly money in his lunch account at school. He has a few bumps in the road, sure, and makes a few mistakes, but being Spider-Man is the best thing that ever happened to him and he wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Then, the headaches start.

One year into being Spider-Man, Peter starts to discover the bad things. Keeping secrets starts to get messy. Ned finds out, and he doesn’t tell anyone about his secret, but he does start to ask questions and Peter doesn’t know if he wants to share all of the answers.

Some days, he skips lunch and some days, he eats enough food to feed an army and it still isn’t enough, and every single day he’s just really, really fucking tired of having to think about food all the time. He gets a headache when he doesn't eat enough. He gets a headache when Tony makes him eat every few hours.

When May finds out about Spider-Man, and about his metabolism, the guilt is almost too much for Peter to take. She tries to get a second job. She and Tony argue for hours on end about who should pay for the food Peter eats. They scream at each other. Peter screams at them both, but they don’t listen to him. He just has to listen to them.

If he has to listen to May or Tony or even Ned nag him about eating one more time, he’s going to explode.

So, Peter does what he does best. He hides as much as he can. He hides injuries. He hides how weak he’s starting to get. He hides the headaches. He lies about eating.

He tries not to explode.

He’s one meal away from exploding.

#whumptober2022 #no.28 #headache #implied eating disorder #food issues #spider-man (mcu)#drabble #metabolism #peter parker whump #whump

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kuromiota · 6 months

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OH FUCK TOMMOROW IS THANKSGIVING

I HATE THANKSGIVING

Help.

#ﾟ+*:ꔫ:*﹤　　bex.bl4bberz!‧₊˚✩彡 #implied eating disorder

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v4l3nt1n3-ventz · 1 year

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Sorry that i got upset, cried and began relapsing back to my ed when you jokingly told me over and over again "your so fat, you fucking sphere", "the only place you run to is the shops" and "course you love food look at you" that wasn't very funny, chillaxed friend of me.

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nona-butterfly · 6 days

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Things im doing from now on when im cr@ving

brush teeth/oil pulling

skincare

nailcare

drink water

shave/wax hair

exercise

read

clean/declutter

scrapbooking

any productivity

make a post

chores

tape measure/b0dy ch3ck1ng

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wavyypeachyy · 9 months

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I don’t think suicidal thoughts actually ever go away.

#self h@rm #tw s3lf harm #tw sui ideation #sewer slide #tw sucidal ideation #su!cidal #tw self destruction #tw disordered eating #anarecja #ed not ed sheeran #tw sh implied #tw self destructive thoughts #self mutilator

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oumarexic · 10 days

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things that will trigger me into trying harder.

iif my hair doesnt falls as much im not sick enough.

if im not cold all the time im not sick enough

if i dont get dizzy easily im not sick enough

if i dont feel hungry im not sick enough

my body doesn’t hurt after workout im not trying hard enough therefore im not sick enough

if i dont eat less than the people in the room with me im not sick enough

if i go over my c4l limit im not sick wnough

if i dont get over 10k steps daily im not even trying then im not sick enough either

if i cant see my r1b5 im not sick enough

if i dont feel empty im not sick enough

if i dont faint from time to time im not sick enough

if i gain w31ghht im not sick enough

if i swallow im not sick enough (i will c/s on my cravings in order to stop craving it.)

if i bing3 and dont pur63 in some way im not sick enough

if no one can tell im d1s0rd3r3f im not sick enough.

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ashonmyfoodd · 13 days

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best breakfast

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cupcakedolly · 5 months

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me doing stuff to keep myself busy so I don't eat:

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tiredqueerfeminist · 2 years

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Monsters Creep Into Your House

Recovering from her injuries was hard enough for Chrissy, but her mother makes it harder.

TW: implied/references eating disorder, emotional/psychological abuse and medical neglect

Chrissy’s injuries had made a lot of things complicated. A lot of things had healed by the time she woke up in the hospital, but it wasn’t enough that she didn’t still have to deal with the consequences.

Read on AO3

#whumptober2022 #no.13 #fracture #dislocation #stranger things #fic #implied eating disorder #implied ed #emotional abuse #psychological abuse #medical neglect #my writing

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sfmilezz · 18 days

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