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theweeklydiscourse · 10 months

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The dynamic and initial characterization of the Archeron family in ACOTAR is…frustrating.

Trying to make sense of the Archeron sister’s backstory in conjunction with their future character development is enough to drive a person to the brink of madness. It’s a straining experience to try to accept the story on Maas’s terms due to how jumbled the continuity becomes as the series progresses. Specifically, the dynamic of the Archeron sisters feels artificial and contrived. It’s a dynamic meant to evoke as much pity as possible from the reader and in doing so, it creates a clash between Maas’s first draft of these characters and their future developments. I find that it makes it difficult for one to immerse themselves in ACOTAR’s world building and characterization because it lacks harmony with the rest of the series. Furthermore, Maas writes a kind of suffering that is indulgent and gratuitous, not seeming to care about how doing so might create problems in her story later on. It makes analyzing the later developments in the story akin to fist fighting the narrative in a Walmart parking lot at 3am.

Example #1 : The Dissonance of Nesta and Elain

The initial characterizations of Nesta and Elain is shallow and although they develop farther along in the series, they can never quite escape the impression of their introductions. In the early chapters, Nesta is a haughty ingrate who staunchly refuses to help Feyre with running the household while Elain is clueless and unhelpful. They behave terribly towards Feyre, but in a manner that feels like something out of a stand-alone story for young children and not the first book of a trilogy.

“Nesta picked at her long, neat nails. “I hate chopping wood. I always get splinters.” She glanced up from beneath her dark lashes. (…) “Besides, Feyre,” she said with a pout, “you’re so much better at it! It takes you half the time it takes me. Your hands are suited for it—they’re already so rough.””

“Her brown eyes--my father's eyes remained pinned on the doe. "Will it take you long to clean it?" Me. Not her, not the others. I'd never once seen their hands sticky with blood and fur.”

They are the embodiments of the “evil stepsister” archetype but are written with no nuance or thought for how their future development might look. They are tools that exist solely to make Feyre’s life as hellish as possible and this is especially apparent with Nesta. Nesta’s initial one-note meanness confounds me, especially when her character is expanded upon later in the trilogy. But here, she acts cartoonishly cruel and spoiled like the sisters in Cinderella and her initial moments do not do enough to suggest her complexity that is eventually used in ACOSF. This dissonance in Nesta reflects the flaws of Maas’s characterization and follow-through. The story indulges in Feyre’s suffering and asks the reader to feel terrible for the plight of this poor and unfortunate soul… but it all feels so gratuitous.

I was never fully convinced by The Archeron family dynamic, how could I be when the characters are not characters but instead are torture devices for the main character? They are elements that converge to make Feyre’s life as miserable and pitiful as humanly possible, but does so in a way that feels utterly shallow and cliche. I can’t become invested in the way Feyre is mistreated because it reads as pain for the sake of pain, it’s shallow and uncompelling.

Example #2 : Feyre’s Non-Existent Relationship to her Unnamed Mother

“My mother. Imperious and cold with her children, joyous and dazzling among the peerage who frequented our former estate, doting on my father the one person whom she truly loved and respected.”

Another example of this relates to Feyre’s relationship to her deceased mother. Feyre is intent on honouring her vow to her mother and yet, it seems like she harbours no positive emotions towards her. Descriptions of her relationship with her Mother are scant and reveal very little about any potential closeness between them. From this passage, a read could surmise that Feyre’s Mother cared more for wealth and status than her children and had little affection for them as a result. It wasn’t as if Feyre and her mother were uniquely close or had a strong bond or something that might justify honouring that promise (especially when she comments on the unfairness of placing that burden on a child very early on in ACOTAR).

“There were times when I hated her for asking that vow of me. Perhaps, delirious with fever, she hadn't even known what she was demanding.”

So what is the narrative purpose of Feyre’s loyalty to a parent she was never that close with and breaking her back to fulfill a promise made in delirium? Her mother is a complete afterthought and yet Feyre for some reason puts herself through the wringer so that she honours that promise? Why? It isn’t compelling for the heroine to sacrifice that much of herself for a family that has no real emotional stakes in the relationship dynamic. THIS does not make a good story, it is so fixated on creating a tragic background for its heroine that it strips the supporting characters of all intrigue and ironically makes the mistreatment Feyre faces feel flimsy and almost comically exaggerated. HER MOTHER AND FATHER DONT EVEN HAVE NAMES!

Example #3 : Feyre’s Father

Feyre says that their family had been impoverished for 8 years, but I fail to grasp how a family of four could subsist on the income from an amateur huntress and her sales of animal pelts. Am I to believe that all of them spent those past 8 years twiddling their thumbs while Feyre did everything on her own? While I’m aware that this is a fantasy series, it seems unrealistic that Nesta nor Elain ever gave Feyre any substantial assistance when it came to running a household. The idea that their prissiness and spoiled attitude prevented them from lifting a finger makes no sense because a mindset like that would never allow them to survive in such an environment. None of them have jobs or bring in any income to support the family and somehow I’m meant to believe that Feyre’s earnings were enough to support all of them. Meanwhile, her father is too ashamed to even attempt to aid his daughters.

Feyre’s father is presented as feckless and an object of resentment for Feyre and Nesta. Although he is given slightly more depth than Nesta and Elain initially, he is never truly expanded upon as a character and is confined to a pathetic characterization.

“What I really wanted to say was: You don't even bother to attempt to leave the house most days.Were it not for me, we would starve. Were it not for me, we'd be dead.”

Oh look! Her father is useless too! Her only living parent who “hadn’t argued when I announced that I was going hunting.”. Although papa Archeron is kind to Feyre, this doesn’t culminate in a meaningful character arc later in the book and his inaction as a father is left to fester. Feyre’s relationship with him is similarly shallow with her relationship to her mother and does not offer the reader anything to latch onto when Feyre leave her family towards the end of the book. I just feel that the story would become so much more emotionally compelling if there were any reasons for Feyre to truly have a connection with her family and if it were not a barrage of misery.

So basically…

I just can’t become invested in Feyre’s plight when it is so indulgent in her suffering (at the expense of some potentially compelling characters). It feels manufactured, it doesn’t feel real (in the sense that it is extremely contrived) and I hate how Maas makes the family dynamic more emotionally nuanced later on in the series, but is constantly at odds with the initial impressions of these characters. The potential is there, but Maas seemed to care more about making the backstory as sad and tragic as possible rather than considering any potentially complex emotional realities the characters would have to grapple with later on.

#sjm critical #feyre archeron #elain archeron #nesta archeron #acotar #ACOMAF #anti sjm #feyre acotar #ACOTAR meta #fandom meta

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kotias · 4 months

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For TMI Tuesday, I would LOVE to know more about Ineffable Rockstars 👀

This one is a very new WIP!

It was @vavoom-sorted-art 's idea, and we've been cooking it with @moonyinpisces and @searchingforakeythatdoesntexist !

Her pitch:

"Rockstar AU where Aziraphale and Crowley both play in rivaling bands. Aziraphale's band is an indie band called Celestial Harmonies. Crowley is a singer in a metal band called Hellish Rebuke, but they both get kicked out for different reasons.

Aziraphale, whose family is against his Rockstar life anyways, is about to quit music and go work a boring ass job. Crowley convinces him to start a two-man band because he has a bunch of songs written (which are all, coincidentally, secretly, about Aziraphale, who he has crushed on for years, of course) which the other members of Hellish Rebuke trashed because they were 'too soft' for the genre. Aziraphale is reluctant at first, but he also has a mad crush on Crowley, so he agrees. And so the unlikely duo start their journey to fame..."

Current form we have thought of: multi-chapter songfic (we will be writing the lyrics) of their forming their group, creating their first album and going to a rock festival where a label will be showing up and taking interest in them :D

It'll be funny with a dash of drama, includes a meet-cute, a little bit of steam, and so, so many songs!

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janus-cadet · 3 months

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Sixth card for this fandom. I'm on a roll!

Back to Helluva Boss, with the most wholesome couple in hell figuring as the Two of Cups- Ozzie and Fizzarolli.

Sort of humanized, I guess? I mean, yeah, in most part, but also, not completely. Anyway, adore them, they are very dear to me.

Explanation under the cut, as well as a secret poll, and the rest of the cards from Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss!

The Two of Cups is the perfect card to represent the love between two people. With this card, you are creating deep connections based on shared values, compassion, and unconditional love. You share a mutual respect with your partner, regardless of your status in such a hellish society. You bring out the best in each other, and lift each other to even higher level of potential. You are here to support your partner, and really, Mammon can eat your ass- in a bad way. You two also share similar vision for something you might be creating together, as you would find in a business alliance (you totally are just business partners, after all). You may not have the same skills as each other, but you create a beautiful synergy when you work together. Whatever s the nature of your partnership, be it about business, romance or friendship, it's founded on trust, harmony, and mutual respect- a strong combinaison for things to come.

Reversed, the Two of Cups is also teaching you about self love. I see that as more of a representation for Fizzarolli- love, in any form, starts with love for yourself. When you accept and appreciate who you are, you find yourself in a position where you can welcome a life of happiness because you fundamentally believe you deserve it (and you do not own it to some stupid clown going by the name of M a m-). Everything starts with self-love. And here's the thing: if you don't love yourself, you'll end up projecting that lack onto others. You may feel like you're not enough, be too clingy and attached, and be too certain that your partner would eventually leave you. It could lead to a break up, or a falling out- the key to avoid it is to open yourself, to communicate the best you can.

(La communication est le ciment de la confiance, après tout!)

Hold a safe space for one another to express your feelings- and I feel like that's what Ozzie and Fizzie do so beautifully in the show.

And that's it for today's card! Before you leave, tho, I must inform you guys that I have yet again two new WIPs- so...

And now, as a final gift for those who went all the way here- the rest of the cards I've done so far! Thank you for reading, and may you all have a very nice day ;)

#helluva boss #hazbin hotel #fizzarolli #helluva boss fizzarolli #fizzarolli x asmodeus #ozzie #helluva boss ozzie #fizzarolli fanart #ozzie fanart #asmodeus #helluva boss asmodeus #helluva boss fanart #tarot project #human ozzie #human asmodeus #my art #tarot card #two of cups

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arthur-lesters-right-arm · 4 months

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arthur lesters right arm my beloved when you appear the angels sing in hellish harmonies as they slice their own wings off to escape you. i eat your posts like when someone tries to feed me something and i attack their hand like im going to bite it

Desperately wanted to respond with smth along the lines of Biting a feeding hand is an endeavour useless as sobbing your troubles away over a barstool, my domain lies both above and below purgatory and all places in between, escape is not within a prayer. But like, my blog is just me posting outright disrespectfully about a fictional middle aged man so I think you may perchance have something else going on is God trying to kill you anon?

#this blog is nothing but utter disrespect for blorbo and praise for the creator #anyways thank you anon I am truly honoured #arthur lester #arthur malevolent #john malevolent #malevolent podcast #malevolent

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pharrell-the-formation · 9 months

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I want to share my thoughts about Naraka (Hell realm) in Rusty Lake’s universe. It would be better to clarify how I prefer to perceive it in advance, so that if later it comes up in my fan content, there would not be too many questions, haha.

I suspect this is what Rose was reborn into at the end of "The Past Within" and Mr. Rabbit at the end of "Birthday", as tree as the symbol of Naraka was depicted on the sign in "Theater". However, you should not take their new form as literally "trees" - what's so hellish about plants, after all? It seems to me that those who go through the process of (metaphorically or literally) turning into a tree and passing into this new form of life become part of the forest at the bottom of the lake, and the Lake itself is what Naraka is, an infernal creature.

More than once in games characters have referred to the Lake as something sentient. The Lake needs memories, the Lake is able to reward with enlightenment and the Lake is able to punish those who disobey it. Here everything is not quite like in Buddhism, where hellish beings are considered to be the lowest of all creatures, because in “Rusty Lake” series this role seems to have been dutifully occupied by lost and suffering Corrupted souls, while Naraka | Lake is a kind of strong and, perhaps, cruel entity, whose wishes even Mr Owl and Mr Crow choose to respect, so as not to have unnecessary problems later. Therefore, maybe Dale is so interesting to them, because even if the Enlightened Ones have to live in harmony with Naraka, with the Deity on their side, no one of them will need to obey the wishes of the Lake.

I find it difficult to answer who exactly gets to be reborn into a part of the Lake, because Albert, for example, deserved this much more than his daughter, but perhaps it should be noted that in this universe the morality is rather gray. It’s possible that the fact that Rose tried to deceive nature and the standard rebirth system and whatever Mr. Rabbit was up to, from a universal point of view, is considered to be much worse than a couple of murders of family members. I mean, this is what some people here were rewarded for, pf.

#Rusty Lake #Cube Escape #Cube Escape Theatre #Cube Escape Birthday #The Past Within #Rose Vanderboom #Mr Rabbit #textual idea

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bnhaobservation · 8 months

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BNHA Observations, speculations and assorted info: Todoroki Mansion (Part 4: Dining Room)

So, in order to write my fic, I spend much time observing canon scenes, comparing the manga and the anime version, take note of details, translations and info in them as well as finding out how are some things called.

Since what I noticed/speculated/found out can be of use for other fic authors I thought to share as well.

Resources:

Chap. 192 “The Todoroki Family” (轟家 Todoroki-ke) Chap. 249 “The Hellish Todoroki Family” (地獄の轟くん家 Jigoku no Todoroki-kun-chi) Chap. 250 “Ending” (エンディング)

Ep. 90 “Vestiges” (面影 Omokage) Ep. 105 “The Hellish Todoroki Family” (地獄の轟くん家 Jigoku no Todoroki-kun-chi) Ep. 106 “The Unforgiven” (許されざる者 Yurusarezaru-mono)

OBSERVATIONS, SPECULATIONS AND ASSORTED INFO:

The dining in the Todoroki Mansion is a washitsu (和室), which means "harmony room" but which is the name used to mean "Japanese-style room".

It's a room characterized by a tatami flooring (Tatami (畳) is a type of mat used as a flooring material in traditional Japanese-style rooms)...

and sliding doors, be they Shōji (consisting of translucent or transparent sheets on a lattice frame) or Fusuma (vertical rectangular panels often painted)...

....and, if the particular room is also meant to serve as a reception room for guests, it may have a tokonoma (床の間), an alcove for decorative items.

HOW ONE REACHES IT?

In the manga from the Genkan, taking the corridor on the left, though we aren't shown more about how to reach it...

In the anime it's possible to speculate it's reached always taking the corridor on the left but then we're shown you've to walk through the engawa...

We know that in the anime the Shōji door with a lower door panel of the room doesn't open on the open part of the Engawa because, outside of the door, we always see a closed corridor.

Natsuo takes the way on the right and then curves again on the right and then we'll see he has reached the engawa so we can assume that's the way one has to take to reach it.

It's a little harder to say if the same applies to the manga as what's behind the characters entering in the room is left white... but since the wall isn't drawn it's possible the room opens on the outside...

...but let's look at how the dining room is in details.

THE DOOR AND THE WINDOWS

As said before it's a large Shōji door with a lower door panel and some small Shōji windows above it.

In addition to the two small windows on top of the door, we've a marumado (円窓), a circular window with a flat bottom edge, on the left.

Outside the Marumado there's another corridor, which is probably not the engawa as we don't see it having round windows. By the way, that corridor lead to the Butsudan room, though it's evidently in opposite places in the anime and in the manga as Enji is walking in opposite directions to reach it.

On the wall opposite to the door, on the left, there's a Shōji window the Shoin (書院) with, below it, a power point.

The Shoin (書院) is considered a decorative window-style structure which is usually located to the left of the Tokonoma in formal ones (since the Todoroki one is collocated to the right I guess their own isn't formal). A Shoin with an overhang toward the porch area is called “Tsuke-shoin” (付書院), and those without an overhang are called “Hira-shoin” (平書院).

SIZE OF THE ROOM

In the anime is clearly of 12 tatami mats.

In the manga is harder to say but maybe it's 10 tatami mats?

WALL IN FRONT OF THE DOOR

As shown in the images above and as said before, on the wall in front of the door there's a Shōji window, then an alcove, which I'm not sure could costitute a Tokonoma as what's displayed in it is a television.

The anime also adds, hung on the wall on the side opposite to the window, a picture.

WALL ON THE RIGHT

As said before and as shown in the images before, on the wall on the left there's only the marumado window.

WALL ON THE LEFT

The wall on the left is the one of the Tokonoma. A formal Tokonoma structure is called Hondoko (本床) and consists of the following three parts: the Shoin (書院), a decorative window, the Tokonoma (床の間), an alcove and the Tokowaki (床脇), a space with shelves.

In the manga we've already seen that the tokonoma structure isn't a formal one as the Shoin window is placed in the opposite side. Let's focus now on the Tokonoma, which contains a kakemono (掛物 "hanging thing"), more commonly referred to as a kakejiku (掛軸 "hung scroll"), and a vase on the right. We can also catch a glimpse of a flower arrangement which should be in front of the scroll.

As for the Tokowaki, instead than an upper and lower cupboard with, in the middle some shelves, we've what seems to be a closet with a lower cupboard.

The anime instead went for a traditional Tokowaki.

It has in the middle a Chigaidana (違い棚) which is decorative shelves consisting of two different levels and two cupboard-like shelves with sliding doors placed above and below the Chigaidana, which are called Tenbukuro (天袋 "top shelf") and Jibukuro (地袋 "bottom shelf").

CEILING

The ceiling is a Japanese Saobuchi tenjō (竿縁天井 "rod edge ceiling") ceiling, a flat wood ceiling supported by narrow wood beams.

ON WHAT DO THEY SIT?

In the anime they're always sitting on Zaisu (座椅子) chairs, Japanese chairs with a back and no legs.

In the manga, when Enji comes home after beating a Nomu and when he dreams his family eating together they're all sitting on Zabuton (座布団) Cushions.

Only Fuyumi seems to be sitting in a seiza (正座) position (on her heels with her legs tucked underneath her). As she's a female her other option would be to sit with her legs tucked on one side. Males can also sit in a seiza position but the Todoroki males all seem to sit in agura (胡坐) position (cross-legged). Stretching the legs directly out in front of themselves is something one must not do so nobody does it.

The table should be a Zataku (座卓) table, a low, rectangular table suitable for sitting on Zabuton or Zaisu.

SEATING ARRANGEMENT

Seating arrangements is very important in Japanese culture: The guest-of-honor is seated upon the kamiza (上座 "Chief seat" or "seat of honor") which is typically situated farthest from the entrance. The middle of the table is the most honored position, and the second most important person is seated next, at his right, the third most important person at his left. When there is a tokonoma in the room, the guest-of-honor is seated in front of it. The host or lowest-ranking guest is seated closest to the shimoza (下座 "lower seat").

So let's give a look at how the Todoroki sit...

To make things simpler I made a scheme showing the floorplan of the dining room and the seating arrangement.

Enji, the family head, is always at the head of the table. I'll assume the first time they put him near the door because otherwise he wouldn't have been able to watch the tv.

The second time in fact, when the tv is not turned on, he's at the chair farther form the door.

The first time Shouto is placed at his right, which is the second most important place. It might be because Shouto is being a guest in a way, as he's temporally living at the dormitory, or it might be because this, in a way, remarks Shouto's status as Enji's heir, despite Shouto being the youngest.

The second time at Enji's right there's Bakugo, which makes sense as he's a guest. Technically the third most important place would be the one at Enji's right, but they've probably left Bakugo, Midoriya and Shouto all seated at the same side of the table so that they would be more comfortable. From what I could understand in theory in such scenario, Enji should have seated opposed to them, between Fuyumi and Natsuo (the middle place is the most important spot in this kind of arrangement), but this is no business dinner so I guess they didn't bother.

So the most important spot after the one Bakugo is having goes to Fuyumi's Enji's eldest child.

Interesting enough, when Enji came home from fighting the Nomu, that spot was given to Natsuo.

What's interesting to notice though is that the Todoroki's dining room comes with a problem.

Guests should be placed facing the Tokonoma but this here doesn't happen. In order to place Bakugo at Enji's right, they give their back to the Tokonoma.

That is unless Enji gives up his place as the head of the table and sits on the middle of the table between Fuyumi and Natsuo.

Now, Enji's dream in the manga.

The manga doesn't give us a way to figure out how the characters are placed in the room but the anime confirms the scene is seen from Enji's point of view as he enters in the room, so Rei and Fuyumi are next to the tv. In this arrangement, there's no spot for him and no head of the table.

In theory the most important person should be Rei, as she's the oldest (and she's placed far from the door)... which makes Shouto the second most important person again with Fuyumi coming third.

The anime added a dream sequence which has Rei seated at the head of the table but this time Natsuo would get the second most important place, then Fuyumi, then Shouto.

On a sidenote there's to say families might chose not to be so strict about seating arrangement and just go with what makes them comfortable so...

Still, to sum it up, manga and anime this time are pretty similar in how to represent the room, the biggest difference being merely how the anime, differently from the manga, decided to go for a traditional Tokowaki.

#boku no hero academia #Todoroki Enji #Todoroki Shouto #Todoroki Natsuo #Todoroki Fuyumi #Todoroki Rei #Midoriya Izuku #Bakugo Katsuki #bnha observations

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cherryrainn · 10 months

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HII!! How are you? I hope your well! I wanted to send in a request if that's ok! make sure your getting rest bc you writing must be energy draining but anyways...!

Could I request Alastor with a Male! or GN! S/O who has a Dokuro Mitsukai Personality from Bokusatsu Tenshi Dokuro-chan? here's some info but feel free to look up some more about this personality!

So basically the reader is an angel/demon ig that came from heaven and they get sent down to hell and decided to live at the hotel? They may look quite young and play the cute, innocent act quite well. However, every time something happens, they beats someone to death with Excaliborg, a special bat with thorns. But there is no need to worry, with the cast of a spell — Pipiru Piru Piru Pipiru Pi — they comes back to life.

I HOPE THIS ISNT TO CONFUSING--- THANK YOU ANYWAYS IF YOU CAN DO THIS REQUEST =^w^=

-Vocaloid addict anon

hi!! i'm doing great and thank you. this sounds fun! i've heard of this anime but i have a feeling i'm going to get this very wrong... it's worth a shot though!... i definitely did something wrong though this is so embarrassing

☽ ༚ ༵ ۰ ✧ ۰ ༵ ༚ ༵ ۰ ✧ ۰

— hellish harmonies

alastor x reader who has a dokuro mitsukai personality

alastor, the radio demon, presided over the happy hotel with an air of sophistication and charm. his wide, permanent grin masked a darker nature that few dared to cross. the hotel was a melting pot of eccentric personalities, and it was there that you, an angelic yet sinister entity, his loving partner, decided to take up residence after a peculiar assignment from heaven.

from the moment you arrived, alastor was captivated by your unique personality. your innocent facade and deadly tendencies fascinated him, and he found himself irresistibly drawn to you. it didn't take long for the two of you to become a couple, and you quickly became inseparable.

the other residents seemed taken with your act, and even alastor couldn't help but feel a strange fondness for your innocent charm. he knew, however, that beneath the facade lay something much more sinister.

one evening, when the hotel's common area was bustling with laughter and merriment, an unfortunate demon made the grave mistake of insulting your "sweet" demeanor. in an instant, a bat with thorns, called excaliborg appeared in your hands, and with a swift swing, the demon met their demise.

gasps filled the room as alastor calmly observed the scene. with every swing of excaliborg, you wore a mischievous smile, almost relishing the act. "quite the performance indeed," alastor remarked, eyes glinting with curiosity.

vaggie stomped towards you with a fiery expression. "what on earth—no, what in hell are you doing, y/n? we don't kill people here!"

you turned your innocent gaze towards vaggie, but there was a flicker of defiance in your eyes. "i'm just defending myself, vaggie. they were insulting me, and i had to show them i won't be pushed around!"

vaggie huffed, clearly not satisfied with your explanation. "that's no excuse for killing someone! we don't condone violence here, even if it's hell."

alastor, who had been observing the situation quietly, finally spoke up. "ah, my dear vagatha, let's not be too hasty. y/n seems to have a unique way of handling situations, and i must admit, it's rather intriguing."

vaggie turned her sharp gaze towards alastor. "this isn't a game, alastor. we're trying to run a place of redemption here."

you glanced at alastor, seeing a subtle amusement in his eyes. it was then that you decided to heed vaggie's words and show her that you could rectify the situation. with a nod, you cast the resurrection spell, bringing the demon back to life.

"pipiru piru piru pipiru pi!"

the demon groaned, holding their head as they regained consciousness. "what happened?"

vaggie crossed her arms, her anger subsiding slightly. "you were being rude, that's what happened. now apologize and learn some manners."

the demon looked at you and then at vaggie, realizing the gravity of the situation. "i'm sorry, i didn't mean to offend anyone."

vaggie nodded, satisfied with the response. "good. now remember, violence isn't the answer here."

you smiled, both sweet and sinister, and nodded. "i'll keep that in mind, vaggie!"

as the night's events unfolded, the playful atmosphere returned to the grand hall of hell's happy hotel. the demon you had confronted earlier, now revived and chastened, had retreated to a corner, keeping a wide berth from you. the other residents resumed their conversations and games, seemingly unfazed by the recent commotion.

you and alastor found yourselves standing side by side, the magnetic pull between you both stronger than ever. his eyes sparkled with amusement as he observed your interactions with the other residents. there was a sense of pride in his gaze, knowing that you were his partner in both mischief and tenderness.

"so, my dear y/n," alastor said, a hint of playfulness in his voice, "i must admit, you have a way of shaking things up, don't you?"

you grinned mischievously, leaning closer to him. "well, who would've thought hell could be so much fun? besides, it's not every day you find an angelic maniac in this dreary place!"

alastor chuckled softly, enjoying the warmth of your presence. he reached over and gently pinched your cheek, eliciting a delighted giggle from you. "indeed, it's a delightful surprise. you certainly add a unique charm to my existence here in hell."

you batted his hand away playfully, but your eyes softened as you looked at him. "i could say the same to you."

alastor's grin widened, his eyes reflecting the affection he held for you. "ah, my dear, you flatter me so. i must say, you bring a breath of fresh air to this place. life in hell can be dreadfully monotonous, but you make it thrilling."

#alastor #hazbin hotel #alastor x reader #y/n #reader insert #x reader #ask #hazbin hotel oneshot #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin #vaggie #vaggie hazbin hotel

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mendimore · 27 days

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Cdrama Reviews/Reccs Series 01: Mysterious Lotus Casebook (莲花楼)

SPOILER WARNING!!!! PROCEED WITH CAUTION ( will be talking about the plot and the ending so if you are spoiled that if not my problem in any way)

Mysterious Lotus Casebook, led by Chengyi, Zeng Shunxi(Joseph), and Xiao Shunyao, directed by Guohu and Ren Haitao, aired through summer 2023 and was one of the most popular cdramas to come out that summer.

Unfortunately I was a bit preoccupied falling down the Boy's Planet rabbit hole after being peer pressured to watch it to serve as moral support for a friend of mine and thus, being unintentionally dragged back into my kpop phase.

It was also because I had a hellish 14-hour work/study schedule 5-6 days a week during most of that summer meaning I could only have one hyperfixtation and watching five three-minute fancams was still a lot less time than rewatching a word of honor episode for the literal 14th time.

However, I am back and despite still being busy as hell, I have pulled three all-nighters (not in a row thank god) to finish this drama because it was heavily reccomended.

And needless to say, since I was able to sacrifice another decade of my life for it, it was pretty good.

I have not read the novel it was based on, I am only going off of what is in the actual drama.

For costume dramas, out of the big three platforms in the land of cdramas, youku, tencent, and iqiyi, I would say production quality-wise I prefer iqiyi, so that was one of the reasons I agreed to watch this drama. When it comes to Iqiyi, most of the time I don't feel taken out of the story by the production quality. Usually, I'm removed from from the illusion of the story by the story itself but that is another issue, particularly prevalent in productions with script with no source material or very low-quality source material.

The skin smoothing wasn't super excessive and the general look was pretty harmonious. No props that stood out strangely and few consistently or particularly awkward camera angles messed with the storytelling elements that I can remember. Pretty good for a Cdrama. The bar is a bit low, yes, but in the grand scheme of things it's not a badly produced drama, and it's pretty evident, that the people working on it cared at least a passing amount about those storytelling elements which I can wholly appreciate. And obviously, it's nowhere near a cinematic masterpiece, it did not lack the quick cuts of slow-mo, or the wide-face shots that are a certain pet peeve of mine in dramas, though I will say, it didn't bother me as much as it usually does. It had a certain martial arts film charm to it and generally sidestepped the tacky look that kind of editing or shots usually have, but nonetheless, the production has certain things to be desired. I would say the overall look/production quality definitely doesn't hinder the watching experience.

However, there was something that did set me off a bit. I am a Mandarin speaker myself. Listening to this drama was a bit awkward at times. Of course, If I can find them I will put on both Chinese and English subtitles, if not I will at least have one language of subtitles on so I don't have too much problem understanding what is going on, and this was no exception. but frankly, spending late nights in front of my computer screen trying to read subtitles has never been my favorite way to enjoy cdramas.

The line delivery in costume dramas has certain standards that contrast with contemporary dramas making it that much more difficult and important to the scene. My first victim is Zeng Shunxi, the actor for Tianji Manor's young master Fang Duobing. From what I understand Mandarin is not Joseph Zeng's first language, perfectly fine, but the problem is, in this drama, I can tell. There are plenty of instances where his delivery is majorly awkward, particularly for a Minister's son, he's supposed to be well-versed in literature and an eloquent young master but sometimes talks like the words don't fit his mouth and other times the words come out in form fitted lines of monotony that also feel strange to native speakers and particularly costume drama viewers. It's not the worst thing and if you only read subtitles you will probably not even notice because his emotions generally still translate pretty well and it's not like he is speaking noticeably slower than other actors or like a robot. there is just a lot of be desired in that standards of voice acting. I am not here to attack this man, the fact that he could play in his own voice through the whole drama as someone whose first language is not Mandarin is impressive, particularly because it is a costume drama so there is a whole other level of difficulty, plus his line delivery was not bad enough to prevent me from finishing this drama so do with that what you will. However, for the purposes of the story, I think getting a dubbing actor could have been a reasonable investment. Our other leading actor, Chengyi also has certain issues with line delivery, though arguably not as noticeable. His character is a reserved, tired person, secretive so it's generally in character for him to be quieter, calmer, and his cadence is mostly natural, but sometimes I really couldn't quite catch what he was saying. He likes to gloss over certain words, his ending sounds such as those with ng like jing or neng get ommited some of the time, and his overall delivery borders mumbly several times. Mumbly words said under your breath are acceptable as long as the words are heard clearly, but that is the problem, they aren't. Again, it likely will not be noticeable if you are only reading subtitles and it is not bad enough to ruin the moment or scene in most instanced but there are things to work on, definitely. These two actors have the most lines in the entire show which is why I'm making such a big deal about it, but for people that don't know mandarin, that don't hear the awkward cadence or can't understand whatever is being mumbled, it wouldn't be noticeable, however it was definitely a criticism I had.

However, breaking away from the complaints I would like to point out that I generally really liked the fighting choreography. Fighting choreos can be the highlight of wuxia dramas. Many martial arts cdramas nowadays bypass having to train their expensive idol actors and actresses in fighting choreo with stuff like special effects and camerawork, but the fighting sequences and swordsmanship sequences were all pretty well done. Special mention to Chengyi's performance for the Li xianyi/Li lianhua's swordplay sequences was very nicely done. His movements are fluid and generally crisp, fitting his character and are nice to watch and capture the scene. I think my favorite was the last time he practiced his sword, in front of a fire, in the moonlight but here were quite a few pretty breathtaking moments.

Did this drama make me sob my eyes out? Yes, several times. I do tend to cry at every little thing but I did have a long bawl about Li lianhua after I finished, and a couple of sore, dry-eye days after a long night of quietly crying in my bedroom. However, making me cry is only a facet of storytelling that I evaluate. Personally, for the story itself, I found it generally pretty easy to get roped and invested in. The case breaking stuff is usually interesting to me and this one certainly was, though I do think that the cases themselves were sometimes overly convoluted with quite a couple of logic holes because their line of reasoning was so long and complicated. The amount of hints that are thrown at you in small moments are pretty hard to keep track of, but I think that it the characters and their dynamic is charming and the resolutions to the cases and the characters' agency was still satisfying enough for me to follow them on their little detective cases, and obviously the conflict caused by Li Lianhua's identity was the main backbone of the story. Li Lianhua's attitude, his disillusionment, all very heartbreaking, I loved it. I have seen some people argue that Li Lianhua has no character development. He still pushes the people who love him away, he is still walking away from his problems, and hurts them which is true in some ways but I disagree with the fact that he has no development. He had this sudden and painful disillusionment, before the story that changed his worldview entirely and really before Fang Duobing comes along, he is hypercritical of himself, the ruthlessly unyielding, unforgiving part of Li Xiangyi is something he still carries with him. However, after meeting Fang Duobing who admired Li Xiangyi in a way that wasn't just putting him on this untouchable pedestal or making him an ideal kind of helped him remember and allowed him to go back to Sigu sect, put on those red robes and save Yun Biqiu with Fang Duobing supporting him the whole way. He ends up giving his old acquaintances and friends some closure even though he originally intended to leave it all exactly where it was ten years ago and, though, I think it was unfair the lack of closure that Fang Duobing got, in the end, Li Xiangyi resolved his story in a different way than he was going to. Of course, he still leaves everyone behind but he isn't exactly just walking away from all his problems anymore, he's helping them accept his inevitable outcome, wishing them a bright future and the life he won't get to have and that, though albiet subtle is still development.

Overall I think the cases were draggy and complicated, but not uninteresting and the real plot with digging up the main male lead's past was a pretty good point of intrigue. These episodes are like almost 50 minutes long though so to each their own. Acting, other than line delivery gets a pass for me. They were consistent believable characters with motives and consequences that made me care about them. The chemistry between the three leads was pleasant and harmonious. Their dynamic was clear, humourous, and entertaining, nothing to gawk at but seeing them fight together and interact definitely brought a smile to my face more than once.

As for the soundtrack, it was, as most of the rest of the drama, pleasant and fitting, but, nothing mindblowing. However, I am still listening to that soundtrack while I'm writing this and it has definitely grown on me.

One last thing, I did not get to the the entirety of the ending because I do not pay for iqiyi, however, I know the general idea of what it was. Personally, I am kind of glad I did not because I think the ending in the 40th video was more than enough. I know that they don't want to incur the wrath of all the emotional fans crying after the last video and believe me I was one of them, but giving him an ambiguous ending with a hint about him returning just doesn't sit right. Li Lianhua was a dead person, he spent ten years accepting his death. This story is about the freeing of Li Xiangyi from the cycles of vengeance and the death of the idle, wandering physician Li Lianhua. If Li Lianhua does not die, entanglement in the affairs of the world is inevitable and since Li Lianhua is now recognized as Li Xiangyi, they can no longer exist separately as they had been doing for ten years, because if they do, Li Xiangyi will be forced once again into the entanglements of vengeance, attachments, and worldly affairs which undermines his selflessness, self-loathing, righteousness, and bittersweet apathy. Even though this is not Di Feisheng's happy ending, and definitely not Fang Duobing's happy ending, this is Li Lianhua's happy ending, to die quietly, all his attachments to the world settled and left behind, in a small boat where he can rest peacefully and die where he was supposed to all those years ago, rocked by the current and forcing the people he has left behind to let go of him, as they should have done. He gave everyone as much closure as he could, and he gave himself control over his own death. As much as I want him to be alive, I don't think, for the purpose of the story that he should be or would be.

Anyways, I have grown way too attached to Li Lianhua, and keep rewatching the series to cope. Overall, I liked Mysterious Lotus casebook a lot, ti is definitely I would say worth the watch and even though it is not the most amazing or greatest thing in the world it has a special place in my heard and as kind of some closure for me, that is my review of the show, hope you liked it.

#cdrama #mysterious lotus casebook #li lianhua #di feisheng #fang duobing #drama review #drama recommendation #cdrama review #cdrama recs #cheng yi

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virgo-mess · 3 months

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Silver Bells

Here we are guys finally made it to the sequel for Silver Thread. It is a Christmas fic. I had intended to write during Christmas, but Silver Thread took me longer to put together than expected, so I hope you don't mind reading a Christmas romance in spring. Hopefully, the Birds and the Bees will even it out as it's very much a summer romance! This post is going to be the master post so all the links for the chapters will be added in order here, but I think I'll still put the next parts at the bottoms of the chapters when they're available. Without further ado, here is the first official part of Silver Bells. Enjoy!

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Chapter List

Prologue

Chapter 1: Hot Chocolate for Two

Chapter 2: BUT HE ALREADY KNOWS HOW TO SKATE!

Chapter 3: Hugo’s Plan/ NO, Get Out of the Hot TUB!

Chapter 4: Orange is Not Her Favorite Color….

Chapter 5: Christmas Strife

Chapter 6: Silver Bells pt 1

Chapter 6: Silver Bells pt 2

Chapter 7: Constellation

Epilogue

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Prologue:

December 14th, 1985

Two pairs of eyes stared back at each other from across the still room, one pair was a deeply melancholy shade blue, and the other was a painfully somber shade of brown, but both were teary. The Los Angeles skies mirrored them through the obnoxious stain glass windows, thick, weighted grey clouds loomed across the dreary winter skies and smothered the sun. Looking like they might finally give away and weep over the city marking the end of the warm golden days of LA summer and the arrival of the cool rainy days of LA winter. Usually, the brown pair of eyes wouldn’t mind such a thing with the joys of Christmas, their favorite holiday, just around the corner. The brown eyes had thought this Christmas was going to outshine all their previous Christmases because this time the blue pair of eyes would be right by their side. But that was when the brown eyes couldn’t tell where they ended and where the blue ones began, back when their eyes were blended together to make a dusty brown-grey shade of purple. Soft and pretty, perfectly intertwined in a harmonious dance neither of the eyes wanted or ever thought would end but now the brown eyes were facing the reality that the dance was in fact ending. That the music was fading, and the warm, golden sun was setting on what they had declared their own little personal Eden. Damning their once flourishing garden, into a hellish, lonely eternal winter.

The blue eyes were denying this reality, they pleaded to the brown ones from across the room insisting that the music was still playing, the sun wasn’t setting, and the dance wasn’t coming to an end. The brown eyes believed the blue eyes when they said it last time, the night they swirled with sincerity and the deepest form of love the brown eyes had ever seen or felt. That night the blue eyes gazed up at them from where they knelt upon abodes of red rose petals that blanketed the floors of the Alhambra Suite at the Mission Inn with a black velvet box sitting in their trembling hands. Asking a question the brown eyes hadn’t really wanted to hear yet but gladly accepted because it was easier than accepting that their once loving relationship was now clouded in secrecy. White lies that grew in both number and size until the brown eyes found themselves questioning if anything the blue eyes had ever told them was true. If their love for each other was real, or if it was just a means to an end in the grand scheme of the vengeful plan the blue eyes had crafted and executed against the brown eye’s own kin.

“Veda baby, listen to me please I need you with me today…” Terry said, his blue eyes vulnerable and pleading as he knelt down in front of Veda’s slightly trembling form and let out a long-saddened sigh as they registered the tears welling in her brown orbs. It seemed all she did these last few weeks was cry, at least when she wasn’t holed up in one of the guest rooms. A shaky breath escaped her lip, her brown eyes were trained on her feet because she knew that if she met Terry’s gaze, she’d throw her escape plan out the window. She kept reminding herself it was too late to get the deposit back on the U-Haul she had Larry Park a few streets over just like it was too late to cancel her last-minute vacation rental. Though she wasn’t sure how running away to spend Christmas and her winter break in solitude up in the mountains of Big Sur could be considered much of a vacation. Veda already knew anywhere Terry Silver wasn’t, was absolute torture for her and part of her felt like she deserved to have a miserable existence for betraying him this way… leaving him this way when she was still completely in love with him was the hardest decision she’d make in her entire life. She tried to keep reminding herself that Terry had betrayed her first, that he lied to her directly and indirectly for months, that he had chosen to prioritize his relationship with John Kreese over theirs and that he had single handedly orchestrated a plan to make her little brother suffer behind her back. Some of those thing Veda might be able to look past if Terry didn’t seem to wholeheartedly believe he had done nothing wrong that everything he did was to benefit both her and John.

“I can’t Terry…you lied to me… you keep lying to me” Veda’s voice came out surprisingly firm even though she was physically shaking like a leaf and her stomach felt like it might empty itself all over the bedroom floor. A bedroom she once considered theirs though it looked like neither of them had slept in it for weeks. Truthfully that was because they hadn’t, while Veda was off sleeping at Zoe’s or in one of the bare guest rooms Terry wasn’t sleeping at all. Terry took a sharp inhale as he stared up at Veda with dilated pupils and slightly bloodshot eyes, he found himself wishing he could pour his heart out to her the way used to but that would mean admitting he had a problem and that was something he couldn’t face right now. His heart was heavy with more shame, guilt, and pain than he had felt even in those dark days he spent locked in a cage in the jungle.

“I know I lied and I’m so sorry baby girl but after the tournament today everything’s going to go back to normal, it’ll just be you and me again you won’t even see John. We can go to dinner at the roof top place, we can go to the pier, we can go to the museums, the Ranch whatever you want, sweetheart I promise. Just come with me, please” Terry’s tone is urgent and desperate as he tilted her head up so he could stare deeply into her eyes. They’re swirling with sincerity and desperation and Veda thinks for a second, he’s on to her and her growing need to get away from everything. Even if her need to run away and leave her life with Terry behind her wasn’t this strong she still couldn’t handle going to the tournament today she couldn’t watch Daniel go through the pain of being in Cobra Kai’s bad graces all over again.

“I don’t want to watch Daniel hurt, Terry and I can’t watch you do this…please don’t make me go.” Veda said just above a whisper as the tears in her eyes finally start to spill over. She sat unmoving as she felt Terry begin to wipe and kiss away the stream of tears from her cheeks, his kisses are tender, but his thumb is frantic as it brushes against her flushed skin. Terry breaths are coming out in nervous bursts of air as he tries to soothe Veda in the only way he’s ever known how. The fact that it doesn’t seem to be working scares him enough to finally consider the fact that he may be losing the love of his life this time and a last-minute spur of the moment proposal wasn’t going to fix it this time.

“Okay… you don’t have to go” Terry whispered, cradling Veda’s face in his hands he swore he felt his heart shatter as her brown eyes stared back at him looking lifeless and defeated for the time ever. Terry let out a shaky breath before leaning forward to place his lips on her forehead in the form of a long tender kiss as he contemplated just where to go from here. Losing Veda was never something he considered a likely possibility, he always swore he’d never let it happen, that he’d never let her go, that he’d make it next to impossible for her to move on or to ever be free of him. Yet now that the gravity and consequences of his action the last few months were finally catching up with him and the reality of losing her was more tangible Terry couldn’t bring himself to force her to stay. He knew the right thing to do today would be to skip the tournament, to forget John and his quest for revenge and just stay here and hold her until the look swirling in her brown eyes faded. Terry wished more than anything that he could, that he could forsake John and forget about Cobra Kai and get back to the blissful existence he had with his sweet girl before his old friend turned up asking him for a favor. Terry wished he had ignored John’s adamant advice about keeping Veda in the dark because it was clear from the get-go John Kreese was less than satisfied with Terry’s chosen beloved. The why of which Terry had yet to figure out but John sure looked happy when Veda showed up at the dojo in tears looking equal amounts hurt and betrayed.

“You don’t have to go just, please go to dinner with me tonight so we can talk about all of this okay, my sweet girl?” Terry pleaded; Veda let out a long sigh as she now felt her own heart shatter this time because it was clear to her Terry knew she was planning to leave.

“Okay, we’ll talk over dinner” she forced the words out like they were poison and refused to let herself acknowledge the way her heart fluttered when his blue eyes lit up and he peppered her cheek with adoring kisses. They both knew she way lying but neither of them felt equipped to talk about it as they danced on thin heart-breaking line of Terry showering her with affection and Veda sitting in his arms unmoving.

“Everything will be okay, baby girl I promise, you’ll see. I love you…” All Veda could do was nod as she thought of her response to his declaration but didn’t allow herself to utter the three words back to him. Even when his lips brushed against hers passionately, she waited until she heard his footsteps retreating down the loggia before she broke down into a fit of agonizing sobs. The sobs didn’t stop even when Margaret, Larry, and Milos came in the room to help her gather her things cooing reassuring words to her. They tried to assure her Terry would come to understand, that he could never hate her, that she wasn’t a bad person, but Veda couldn’t bring herself to believe a single word. Her sobs only intensified as she was failing to remember what things belonged to her before Terry was in her life and what things were only hers because of him. Margaret insisted she take them all, but Veda knew she wouldn’t be able to fit everything in her small student dorm at CalTech or the one she was supposed to occupy next fall at USC. The only thing she didn't keep was the ring he proposed with, the solitaire diamond didn't seem to shine the way it did that night as Veda sat it on the nightstand with a shaky hand. She let her eyes sweep across the room that she once called their before they settled on the promise ring she was still wearing on her right finger. Veda couldn't bring herself to take it off even after Terry gave her the engagement ring because she liked it a lot more and because it reminded her of a happier time in their relationship. Even now, even after everything that happened, she couldn't bring herself to it. So, she took one last shaky breath as she scooped the last of her belongings into her arms and walked out of the Ennis house for the last time.

The hours up until then seemed to pass by in slow motion and when the time finally came for Veda to hop into the truck and drive away, she felt numb. Utterly and completely detached as the three adults she had come to know and call friends pulled her trembling form into their arms. Silent tears were still rolling down her flushed cheeks as she hopped into the truck and turned the key in the ignition. Igniting a melancholy sounding engine just as the clouds finally gave away and wept, the first sign of an unusually cold winter swept through the treetops as Veda pulled the truck out of the long drive and on to the road. The soft patter of rain hitting the windshield and wet truck tires rolling on the pavement fill the silence of the car and Veda finds herself wanting to turn around but knows she can’t for reasons she doesn’t even fully understand yet. She reaches over to turn on the radio with a shaky hand and Joni Mitchell’s River lulls through the stereo in all its blue melancholy.

“…It’s coming on Christmas

They’re cutting down trees

They’re putting up reindeer

And singing songs of joy and peace

Oh, I wish I had a river

I could skate away on

But it don’t snow here

It stays pretty green

I’m going to make a lot of money

Then I’m going to quit this crazy scene

I wish I had a river

I could skate away on

I wish I had a river so long

I would teach my feet to fly

Oh, I wish I had a river I could skate away on

I made my baby cry

He tried hard to help me

You know, he put me at ease

And loved me so naughty made me weak in the knees

Oh, I wish I had a river

I could skate away on…”

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Veda dry heaves, feeling her stomach lurch and twist uncomfortably as she nears the expressway and Terry’s Rolls Royce Corniche comes into view across the street. She can make out his dark hair through the raindrops on his window and the distressed look on his face. She wishes she could run to him more than anything right now, to have him wrap his arms around her and listen to his heartbeat one last time....but she doesn't. She turns the truck onto the expressway as a fresh wave of tears and sobs overtake her.

Terry glances down at his watch before training his blue eyes on the traffic light, becoming increasingly agitated as its cycle seems to purposely want to halt his trek home. Though part of him knows his urgency to get there might all be for naught, he heard it in the way Veda spoke to him this morning and he felt it in the way she couldn’t bring herself to kiss him back. He saw it in her sad brown eyes and yet he couldn’t bring himself to do the only thing he ever wanted to do since she came into his life. He listened to John, a man he once considered his best friend and now he was trying to drive home to the only other person in the world that brought him an ounce of comfort even though he knew he lost her. Terry groaned, glaring at the traffic light as he aggressively turned the volume up on the radio to drown out his thoughts and sorrow as his foot finally hits the gas.

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“…I’m so hard to handle

I’m selfish and I’m sad

Now I’ve gone and lost the best baby

That I’ve ever had

Oh, I had a river

I could skate away on

I wish had a river so long

I would teach my feet to fly

Oh, I wish I had a river

I could skate away on

I made my baby say goodbye

It’s coming on Christmas

They’re cutting down trees

They’re putting up reindeer

And singing songs of joy and peace

Oh, I wish I had a river

I could skate away on…”

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June 14th, 1987

Terry sighed, leaning back on a patio chair with a book in his hands listening to the faint sound of the waves crashing on the beach below. He was surprised his father moved him to such a luxurious rehab center, to be completely honest Terry was surprised he cared enough to come visit him without giving him a lecture. In fact, he was rather nice to him during his last visit, Terry suspected Margaret probably knocked some sense into him the same way she’d done to him a month ago. Terry for once accepted her verbal lashing though he wished she had done it before Veda left. Though he’s not sure the coke would’ve allowed him to hear it.

Terry was pulled out of his thoughts by one of the counselors walking out of the house with someone lingering in the doorway behind them.

“Mr. Silver you have a visitor, a Lucille LaRusso” he said, Terry flew to his feet with a rush of emotions overtaking him as he looked to the doorway surprised. It was in fact Lucille LaRusso, the mother of his ex-fiancé and Daniel LaRusso, the boy he tormented for a few months on his war buddies command and on Veda’s behalf.

“Mrs. LaRusso, hello” Terry said awkwardly, his cheeks flushing in shame and embarrassment as he looked at her. He was fully expecting to get another verbal lashing or a slap to the face as she walked up to the patio table he’d been sitting at. He wouldn’t blame her if she did, he hurt both of her children, intentionally and unintentionally. Terry would be lying if he said Daniel basically handing his college fund over to Mr. Miyagi without caring about the affect it had Veda didn’t fuel him into accepting John’s request. Because it did, he’d already been planning on teaching Daniel some semblance of a lesson before John showed up but finding out that he was the essentially the catalyst behind a lot of the horrible things Dutch did to Veda had him seeking out a punishment he thought fit the crime. If Daniel hadn’t ended up in Cobra Kai’s bad graces Dutch and Johnny never would’ve sought Veda out, using an innocent girl as a means to get back at Daniel. To make it all worse Dutch took things a step further, beating her half to death on two separate occasions for daring to call him out for being the trash he is and was. Veda was unwittingly collateral damage in a month’s long feud, one she had no responsibility in creating yet she suffered the most in the grand scheme of things. Terry dealt with Dutch accordingly, but he still had nightmares of the state he found Veda in, curled up under his office desk on the verge of a GHB overdose. And it all started because of some feud her bratty little brother took part in, truthfully, Daniel got off easy in comparison. Dutch Howard was still sitting in a cell waiting for his case to go to trial in a few months, Terry had already exhausted every avenue he could to make sure Veda would never have to take the stand…

“Hi, Terry. You can still call me Lucille” she said reassuringly, taking him by surprise as she pulled him into a brief motherly embrace. Terry furrowed his eyebrows but gladly returned the hug because he can’t remember the last time, he’d gotten one, he wished Veda was the one giving it to him, but Lucille was the next best thing. Lucille pulled away giving him a soft smile before taking a seat at the table Terry sat down still feeling a bit awkward despite how happy he was to see her.

“Uh, what brings you here, did Maragret call you?” he asked curiously, Lucille shook her head pulling out the letter he sent to Veda a few weeks prior. Terry shifted uncomfortably when he realized it was open. “Oh, that, I um…” he trailed not sure what to say, since it was a thinly veiled attempt to win her back so to speak even though he knew he shouldn’t be dating anyone for at least a year after treatment was over. There was still only a select set of people he let influence his decisions and one of them was sitting next to him right now. Lucille gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

“She didn’t read it, I did, and I thought it was important that someone came to see you while you’re healing. So, you better get used to seeing me Terry, next time I come I’m expecting a warmer greeting, young man. I’m also here because I thought that it was important for you to know what’s going on with Veda, I need you to understand why I’m not giving her this letter right now and why I need you to be patient with her. I also know you were the one that funded that program for Veda to go to USC, it’s a good thing you submitted it anonymously. I don’t think she would’ve accepted it otherwise; I know I don’t have to tell you how stubborn she is. Once she sets her mind on something you’ll very rarely talk her out of it” Lucille chuckled very obviously trying to lighten the mood after such a heavy statement, Terry appreciated her effort nonetheless, but his mind was reeling with all the things that could be wrong with Veda.

“Yeah, she is a true Taraus that’s for sure. How’d you know it was me?” Terry asked, trying not to seem as nervous as he felt, and let a slight smile grace his lips as he looked back at her. Thinking and talking about Veda still hurt him so much right now.

“You aren’t the only one with connections, Terry Silver. I may have agreed to go on a date with the Dean if he let me see the paperwork” she said proudly, Terry let out a genuine laugh for the first time in months, forgetting about his dread over the current state of his relationship with Veda for a moment.

“And that’s why Veda is so good at sweet talking people, huh, Lucille. How is USC going for her so far, she’s been there like a year now, right” Terry asked nonchalantly even though he very much wanted to know anything he could, though he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to stand hearing, Veda was dating other guys yet. He always said she’d never find anyone to take his place, but he also said he’d never let her leave and in the end he did. She could do much better than him right now, that’s why he needed to do everything he possibly could to be better for himself and for her.

“School wise she’s doing great; she’s majoring in Business Administration with a focus on Entrepreneurship and Innovation and English Literature. Then she’s also minoring in art, art history, marketing, and surprisingly musical theater. I think she might be having an early midlife crisis right now, but she can actually really sing very well. I had no idea she could, she’s learning guitar and piano right now” Lucille said, Terry felt a slight twinge in his chest as he remembered the first time, he ever heard her sing. He still couldn’t listen to Fleetwood Mac without crying because he still pictured her head on his thigh looking up at him like he was the best thing ever created. He remembered the way her voice pulled him out of the jungles of Vietnam on the 4th of July like it was yesterday, it was hard for him to believe that would be two summers ago next month. Terry chuckled bittersweetly under his breath because it would seem they both developed a passion for music in their time apart.

“That’s funny, I’m learning piano too” he said, even in their time apart they were still doing things together it would seem; Lucille smiled but it faltered after a moment and Terry knew she was gearing up to tell him bad news. “Oh, you said she’d doing great school wise, but how is she doing otherwise…” Terry trailed, feeling a rush of concern overtaking him despite how much he didn’t want to hear if he had caused her more pain. Lucille let out a deep sigh, toying with the letter in her small hands.

“I mean she says she’s fine, but she isn’t, you know, as her mother I can tell she’s not and I don’t know how to help her. She won’t talk about it, Terry, she barely sleeps, and she eats like a bird. She’s lost so much weight, she’s so frail looking all she does is go to work or to school, she hasn’t seen Zoe and Rob in months, and they’re worried about her too. Then last week her doctor called me and asked if I was willing to check her into rehab because her lab results were a life-threatening kind of bad, he can’t give her a full diagnosis unless she has a psychological exam and Veda refused treatment. Obviously in this case I’m legally allowed to force her into treatment, I could but I just don’t think that’ll do much for her in the long run. I think she needs to hear it from you, Terry, hearing that you’re also struggling and getting help might give her more incentive to get better. I’ve read some of her journal entries and she feels really guilty for leaving you Terry, she thinks that you hate her for breaking her promise to you and she still loves you. I know you wrote this letter because you want to win her back Terry, but I think the best thing for both of you is time apart, to grow and heal. You both need to learn how to cope with things in a healthy way before you can be together otherwise something like what happened will just happen again and before you know it the love that brought you together is gone. I think what you guys need right now is to just be friends, you guys' kind of skipped that part. But the strongest relationships have to be built on something, you both got caught up in fixing each other and your problems instead of just helping the other through the problems. You can still love and support each other without coddling and trying fix the other person. Veda needs to just be a normal college kid right now and you just need to focus on getting sober. When the time is right and you’re both healed, you’ll know. So, I was wondering if you’d be willing to write her a different letter…” Lucille trailed, Terry wasn’t sure when he started crying, but he was, he felt the drops hit the back of his hand. Flooding from his eyes much like they had on her 19th birthday. Terry wordlessly nodded his head as he rushed into the house to grab a pen and paper.

The words, like his tears, flooded out of him, almost like some outside force was pushing him along. Terry knew what it was though, it was love, unconditional love. The kind of love he promised her would always be there for her when she needed it, and he intended to keep to that until the day died. He’d never stop carrying that torch for her, but he wanted her to be happy even if that meant it wasn’t with him. He scribbled across the paper passionately, toying with his promise ring, he could never bring himself to take it off.

🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄

Dear Veda,

Hi sweet girl, I heard from a little birdy whose name rhymes with surreal, that you’re learning to play piano. You’re not going to believe this but so am I, it’s funny how even after our time apart we still seem to be so close together, we even picked up the same hobbies. I’ve had a lot of time to reflect on the way our relationship ended, and I can’t go into detail in this letter, but I need you to know that the things that happened, the choices I made, were not your fault. They were my mistakes, Veda, I made them, if anyone should feel guilty and responsible it’s me, not you. You didn’t break your promises, I did. The first life lesson I ever taught you was that actions have consequences, losing you and Dynatox were the consequences of my actions. I understand that now, that’s why I’m trying to get better, for myself. I’m in a rehabilitation facility now and it’s really helping me understand who I am and why I’ve done some of the things I’ve done, some of those war and childhood wounds don’t hurt so bad now. What does hurt me though, is knowing how much I hurt you, Veda and to hear that you’re still hurting because of me kills me.

I once told you we were meant to happen regardless of time or circumstance, perhaps Romeo and Juliet weren’t the best couple to compare us to. Fate brought them together, but their lovesickness was ultimately what did them in because they thought they couldn’t live without the other and we thought that too. We stayed in our little bubble, and it prevented us from seeing that what we really needed was to just be there for each other, to help each other without coddling each other. Neither of us knew how to do that for whatever reason and that’s why us being apart right now is a good thing. We both needed time to grow, we must be better for ourselves before we can be good for each other. As much as I love you Veda, you were too young to be helping me get rid of my demons and I was wrong for trying to keep you in a relationship you were too young to be in, it took me a while to understand that while our love was real, our relationship was unhealthy because we both had unhealthy tendencies and coping mechanisms. I thought I was taking care of you, that I was protecting you, but what I was really doing was preventing you from growing up and living a life without me because of my own unresolved issues. I wasn’t just holding you; I was holding you back, you should’ve been enjoying your youth and finding your own place in the real world. I thought I was doing it because I loved you, but I was really doing it because I was afraid of being alone again. Now I understand that loving you means letting you live out your dreams even if they don’t involve me. I’m happy that you’ve found a place at USC, Veda, I’m happy you’re chasing your dream but I’m not happy that you aren’t living your life, that you’re not spending time with Rob and Zoe, and that you’re hurting yourself this way over me.

I recently read about The Red String of Fate, how God placed an invisible red string around the pinkies of two people that were destined to meet. It says the string may tangle, stretch, and twist in different directions but it doesn’t break regardless of time, place, or circumstance. That’s us, when I told you that my love for you was unconditional Veda, I meant it. You can live your life, see the world, be a reckless kid, break the rules, or find someone else to love if that’s what you need to do because it won’t change the way I feel about you, it won’t change the fact that the place next to me belongs to you, and it won’t change the fact that I don’t mind waiting for you. I’m sorry for putting you through all of this, I never wanted to hurt you, and I’m not expecting you to forgive me anytime soon, but I hope someday you might and that we can at least be friends. That ball is still always in your court though, Veda and I just needed you to know that I’m here for you whenever you need me. I’m not mad at you for leaving and I could never, ever, hate you. You did the right thing, I never would’ve been able to accept the fact I made a lot of bad decisions if you had stayed because, like I said, just being with you was a reward for me. I never would have gotten help if you hadn’t Veda and now, I hope this letter will encourage you to get some help of your own. You deserve to heal, and you deserve to be happy, Veda, all I ever really wanted was for you to be happy. Even if you can’t forgive me, could you at least do that and not just for me Veda, do it for you.

Love you always,

regardless of time or circumstance,

Terry

#thomas ian griffith #terry silver #terry silver x oc #tig #eventual smut #Youtube

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