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diveinyouastro · 2 months

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♤Another astrological observations♤

Ps: i am still learning and astrology is a forever learning subject. It may or may not be relatable. :)

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•° solar return observations °•

Solar return 7th house- the sign in your 7th house of your solar return will probably be the one to backbitch/backstab you👀. For eg- having Sagittarius descendant, people with sag sun or prominent sag placements are likely going to do you very wrong. 😊🪰

SR Uranus in 1st- an apparent change in the appearance of the individual. Dying their hair, a haircut, change in the makeup looks, joining the gym, having skincare routine, etc.🦄😋

SR Jupiter in the 12th- spiritual enlightenment🧞‍♂️. Could be the time youre very sensitive to the energies of the people. Seeing spirits frequently👻. (Hack- wear black tourmaline for the shield against negative energies). This is the time when everything will be clear to you, the intentions of the people, their traits, their habits, their trauma🤠 (your's aswell).👽

SR moon in the 6th- sensitive to other people's words, their criticism, etc. Take care of your health at this time please. Eating disorder. Very moody. Might eat spicy food alot. 🥲

SR neptune in the 11th- the friends, peers, acquaintances you have, you'll be getting to know about them more clearly👀 in negative way ofcourse, Alot of deceiving, lying, manipulation, taking behind your back, cheating, blah blah blah.😗🪓🩸

SR Saturn in the 11th- yes you ARE GOING TO LOSE FRIENDS, even the closest friend you have🙃. I honestly LOVE Saturn whatever house it's in because it fucking slaps you so hard that you begin to see everyfuckingthing very clearly🤪😶‍🌫️. Its going to be hard for you but dont worry youre better of with little to no friends than lying poopies.💩💝

SR venus in the 1st- you're going to be every 2nd person's crush, like literally fr. You're guna appear more ethereal and soft to the other person, maybe innocent too which will make the other person wAnT tO pRoTeCt YoU aT aLL cOsT🥺 because to them you're vulnerable to the world😐😐😐😐.

SR mars in the 3rd- alot of fights with your siblings/ cousins/ childhood friends. Way of communication may be direct, more straight forward, could even be a little cruel ehe🤭. Probably guna put people in their fucking place. Humbling down people alot.💅

SR aquarius ascendant- very detached from the emotions. Its like giving yourself 5 minutes to feel everything then after that, stop feeling completely until the next year. ORRR.... you could be in your feelings for the 1st or last 6 months then the rest of the year? Nonchalant🧘(could be opposite).Your mood for the year: 'eehh'😐 'Okhay'😐 'Yeah'😐 'Mhm'😐 'No'😐 'Don't'😐 'Shut up'😐 'Can you leave me alone'😐 'Youre so annoying'😐 'Can you stop'😐 'Omg youre a fucking fe/male'😐. Might be the year you'll question your sexuality.

SR lilith in the 4th- watch your closest ones/ own family turn against you just cuz you stood up against their negativity and manipulation. Oof!! 😍😍😍THE BEST YEAR EVERRR!!!🥳🤯💋 Sarcasm intented. Theyre going to spread false rumors about you. Play victim card in the situations they create. Its like creating a problem for you to solve.🧍🏻‍♀️🧍‍♂️🗣

SR venus in the 5th- will attract ALOT of love interests👀🔥🧲 but since its a 5th house, it wont be long lasting. For girls: this placement can make guys crazily obsessed with you for monthsss beware as they can note down your every move (3 of my friends had this and the guys ended up following them home, it was scary). For guys: this can make girls want to be with you just bcz everyone wants you, youre the center of everyone's attention (cheating could be involved too👀)

SR Sun/mars/pluto in the 6th- take care of your health because; sun: can make you vulnerable to the evil eyes which could lead you to falling sick frequently🪰🧿. Mars: your anger, impulsiveness, all the othet martian feelings, can make you sick as well, so beware of your surroundings and your mental health🎭. Pluto: the jealousy with this can turn physical real quick✂️. And all three: JUST. TAKE. CARE. 😀 🫠

SR moon in the 7th- sweeeeettttt cravings will ⬆️⬆️. Feeling very joyful for no reason🌞. Feeling 'Butterfly in the stomach' frequently🦋. Lovesick🐕‍🦺.

SR mercury in the 5th- you could hear from a friend that a lot of "certain someone's" like you😊. Love to talk about your interests and hobbies. Involvement in frequent get-togethers, random friends meet💁🏻‍♀️.

SR saturn in the 8th- might deal with your own fears. Could be a triggering year for you🧘.

SR nn in the 9th/12th- frequent travels🗺. Might overthink alot about the world and the life (a lot of what's, why's, who's, how's, etc).

Wherever SR Jupiter is, you're expanding that. Like for eg- 5th house: your interests, might pursue your hobbies, or if you already are, lets say an artist, youll expand your art, the type of drawings you make. 2nd house: your business. Money. Self esteem. Confidence. 11th house: your friend circle, electronics, etc.

SR saturn/neptune in the 8th- out of nowhere setbacks, betrayal, cheating, etc are possible. BUT you WILL receive a news about CERTAIN SOMEONE which will make you question them🤫. Or youll get to know some f-ed up family secrets😗.

SR Scorpio ascendant- watch people getting intimated💁🏻‍♀️. You're guna hear rumorssss about youuu👀🤫. Random guys/girls approaching you with the intention of "hUmBLiNg YoU dOwN" 🗣💩 (ykwim).

SR venus in the 7th- randomly, out of nowhere, falling for someone veryyyy haaarrrdd🕳🚶🏻‍♀️.This usually happens within 3-5 months after your birthday.

Whereas... 😗

SR neptune/saturn in the 7th- showing you why you shouldn't have😊. (If i were you i wouldn't give them a 2nd chance, many people don't deserve it🧘. Pay attention if its their "traits" or "company" either way, you shouldn't forgive them because "traits" are self explanatory, they wont ever change, and if its the "company" affecting them then its guna be tiring for you and trust me you wouldn't want a person who is gullible🧍🏻‍♀️).

SR Uranus anywhere- sudden. Anything sudden. For the better or the worse🎭. Out of nowhere. Unexpected👀. The ex you didn't see? Here s/he comes💩. Job offer🌞. Oldest friend contacting you🏌‍♂️.realization about career path. Your personality, your looks. Family dynamics. Home, etc.

SR lilith/neptune in the 1st/5th/7th/8th/10th/11th- people be copying youuuu i seeee👀. Your secret enemies wanting to be you👀. Copying your style, outfit, skincare. Haircare, haircut, your hobbies, even your career path🤾‍♀️. Amd they'll still have the audacity to TELL YOU how you should be doing *insert what you're good at* 🧍🏻‍♀️🧍‍♂️like?????. Jealousy runs deeeppp 😶‍🌫️.

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Thank you for reading :) <3

#astrology observations #astro notes #astro community #astro placements #astrology placements #solar return #solar return observations #astrology notes

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aureatchi · 5 months

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⛇₊˚ .࿐₊˚✧ BUBBLES IN MY CHAMPAGNE, LET IT BE SOME JAZZ PLAYIN’ . . .OSAMU DAZAI

⟢ SYNOPSIS. the port-mafia was infamous for throwing glamorous holiday parties every year. not only were you attending this time, but you were also finally going to be introduced as the port-mafia boss’ pretty girlfriend! or…that was the plan.

of course, things never go according to plan.

a/n. merry christmas !! adding onto the xmas dazai fics jdjsjwn <3 this one’s vv chaotic.

info. fem!reader. pm boss!dazai. pm exec!reader. fluff, angst, pinch of sugg. there’s DRAMA. mentions of drinking. lil jealousy. dazai is a 💩. the pm is filthy rich lmao. pazenia is a made up country. wc. 3.4k

“Oh my.”

“How do you like it?”

“It’s beautiful.”

The brunette chuckled as he waltzed towards you. You saw him appear behind you through the sizeable full-body mirror, wrapping his arms around your waist as you finished applying your lipstick.

“It looks even better on you.” Dazai’s fingers wandered playfully, tracing the curves the red dress he gifted you hugged so well. The tailoring was so impressive—the dress could fit noone else but you. And indeed, it was made exclusively for you, for the largest and most luxe corporate event of the year.

It was the Port Mafia Christmas party. Everyone was required to attend, and plus-ones were allowed too, stirring even more chaos into the affair. You were a Port Mafia executive—of course you were going, but the night was going to be unique for another reason.

Tonight, the Port Mafia boss would confirm all the rumors…all the gossip circulating the past few months. He was finally making your relationship with him official in front of everyone.

As if everyone still doesn’t know.

Yet you were nervous. Keeping things an enigma actually worked in your favor—besides suspicious stares with muffled voices and jealous women, you didn’t have to worry about much. Dazai would take care of any problem. After all, you trusted him completely.

But now, everyone would know. You and Dazai had gone through all the downsides—you could become a potential target for any enemies, your name would rise even higher on the wanted list, and you could be stalked by frustrated, jealous men…honestly, you two were almost too hot for your own wellbeing.

Just almost, because “I’ll take care of it all. I’ll make sure nothing ever hurts you, darling.”

He whispered those words into your ear, sensing your anxiousness as you continued to look at your reflections.

“Please don’t worry.”

He did not speak in his usual teasing, playfully amorous voice. The brunette’s face matched the seriousness of the topic you had both gone over multiple times, making sure that the other wanted to still go through with it. You both didn’t want to force the decision of your relationship upon the other—though it was Dazai who had suggested the idea, the choice rested entirely on you. He ensured you knew you could change your mind anytime you wanted.

And Dazai wished you could see that he truly, would go to the ends of universes to make sure you were safe.

You gave him a reassuring smile. “I won’t,” you replied. “I’m only worried about you. I need to be by your side at all times to fight any bad guys that come for you.”

And girls. If you were being honest, you always felt a bit sick thinking about other women wanting him. Maybe this is why your nerves hadn’t backed you out yet…you wanted everyone to know their leader was indeed taken.

Dazai laughed more heartily than he intended to at the comment. He, the now Port Mafia superior commander, known even before as the Demon Prodigy, was being talked to in concern that he needed a sidekick to help him.

Though, he was also the same man whose mind was full of fervor for one girl. You giggled, seeing the apparent blush on Dazai’s face when you fixed his black tie. He was matching with you, of course—his red attire was the ruby scarf.

“Perfect,” you mused when you were done. “Wow, you’re handsome.“

“And you’re ethereal,” Dazai responded, putting on your coat. “Ready to go shock everyone?”

“As if half of the mafia doesn’t already suspect anything between us, Osamu,” you smiled.

“Hmm…you’re right.

“Of course they’d think I’d sought after the prettiest woman in the world.” A coy grin snuck back onto his lips.

…

It was evident your lover had good taste, not only in outfits. He chose to rent out one of the big hotels as the venue for the party—very fitting for the filthy-rich organization.

The first thing you noticed when you stepped out of the limo was the massive Christmas tree in the center of the hall.

“Woah.” There were at least fifty gifts under it already.

You noticed Dazai’s brows suddenly furrow as he, too, inspected the presents.

“Osamu?”

“Bella, remind me who this person is again.”

He picked up a present, showing you a familiar name.

“Oh!” He was the assistant under your wing. You two had worked together for years—you had built up a lot of trust and a friendship to have him in charge of some of your responsibilities.

“I see. Don’t mind that; I forget some of my men sometimes.”

You nodded, though you felt a bit unsure about his response. Regardless, you cast the thought aside.

What you didn’t notice was the way Dazai showed you the package. The present was from your assistant, but the name it was for was entirely covered by the brunette’s hand.

“Well, are you ready to go in?” Dazai asked, holding out a hand towards you.

“Yeah, I’m-”

“Dazai!”

It was Kouyou, another executive. She saw you and greeted you, too.

“My, you’re looking lovely today,” she chirped. “So you and the boss are dating.”

You smiled. “Yes.”

“Well, better tell everyone soon,” she told the both of you. “Dazai, a daughter of a very infamous organization in Europe, is at this party as a plus-one. She wants to discuss a business proposal…‘as soon as possible,’ she said. It’s confidential, too; she only wants you. Do you have a few moments to spare?”

Dazai immediately turned toward you, to which you nodded at him. “It seems important, especially if she’s from Europe.”

“You’re sure?” Dazai asked. You were supposed to walk into the dining hall together to introduce yourselves as the power couple of the evening. “What about…”

“Yeah, the mafia is the priority. I’ll find you soon.” You were an executive, after all. The mafia existed to protect Yokohama City, so work should be an urgency.

“Alright,” he replied. He took another look at you—a singular, amber eye softened once he met your gaze. The other was hidden behind bandages, and so were the emotions of his heart. You couldn’t tell what he was feeling at the moment.

“Let’s go, big sis.” He turned towards Kouyou, who led him out of the room.

Now alone, not counting the guards, you glanced at the presents again, picking up the one Dazai had previously questioned you about.

Oh! Your assistant gave you a present. You found it sweet; your assistant hadn’t gifted you anything until this year. Now Dazai’s reaction made sense—perhaps he had thought you had a secret admirer or something. You giggled at his assumed jealousy.

…

You walked inside the dining hall by yourself, a large crowd already entertaining themselves inside. Everyone who saw you stopped to greet you—their executive, and you wished them a merry Christmas back with a friendly smile.

“Huh? So she’s not dating him?”

You turned your head the slightest, pretending to grab a drink while you instead eavesdropped on two employees you hardly knew. Thank goodness they weren’t the ones going out on missions to spy—they were terrible at not being obvious.

“I’m not sure. But that underground aristocrat from Europe that everyone knows has a crush on the boss showed up to meet him. That huge Christmas tree by the staircases is actually a gift from her.”

“Really?! So…maybe she was the boss’ plus-one? Now that’s wild. Everyone really had me believing he was seeing the executive.”

“Yo!” Your attention was suddenly pulled from their conversation.

“You good? You’re overflowing your cup.” You had poured too much drink, so liquid was running all over the floor.

“Shoot, I think she heard us!” you faintly heard behind you as the employees moved away.

“Oh, yeah. I’m so sorry,” you responded to your assistant who had found you. He handed you a few napkins to clean your hands and dropped a few more to mop the floor with his shoe.

“You didn’t need to help, and thank you,” you said as you cleaned up, too, feeling bad.

“All good! Merry Christmas, by the way. How’s your evening going so far?”

“Good, thank you,” you responded, half-truthful. You needed to find somewhere to process what you had just heard. Even if they were only rumors…they bothered you.

“I saw you got me a gift in the lobby,” you added, recalling earlier. “I was surprised! You haven’t done that before, so I found it so sweet.”

“Oh yeah!” he replied, and you didn’t miss the pink that tinted his cheeks. “Who knows…I may have had a change of heart this year.”

You chuckled innocently. “Well, whatever the reason, thank you! I’m excited to see what you got.”

“Of course. I do hope you like it! Also, your dress. It looks good on you.” His voice sped up at his last comment.

“Oh, uh, thanks-”

That was really awkward. You gave him mercy, though…you hadn’t even told him you were in a relationship. So, you tried to say to him that it was your boyfriend, Dazai, who had the dress made for you, but you were cut off.

Dazai had finally entered the room, but he was accompanied by that noblewoman everyone was speaking about.

Wow, she was gorgeous. Her hair was in a perfect blowout, and she wore an emerald green dress that fit her like a glove.

And with each step Dazai and this new woman took into the hall to be regarded by everyone, your heart sank a bit more into your stomach.

What??

“You don’t look so well. Are you okay?” Your assistant paid no mind to the mafia boss’ new commotion. He was wholly concerned for you.

“Yeah. This drink tastes weird, but I can’t put my finger on what.” Yet, you took another sip. What was going on? You had never doubted Dazai’s love or loyalty toward you. Had you been so blind by your own to miss this?

Dazai didn’t even bother trying to search for you. And the way the lady’s arm touchingly clung around his infuriated you.

“He was seeing some foreign princess all along?”

“The boss always has to cause a scene with something new.”

“They’re kind of hot together, though.”

Now you really wanted to puke. You stared until the noblewoman’s eyes finally caught yours and dwelt on your figure briefly before turning toward Dazai and asking him something.

Dazai’s lips read, “Okay!” before a guard approached you.

“The boss is summoning all the executives to him,” he whispered in your ear, and you nodded, strolling over to him.

Fuck. You wanted to cry. Your heart was beating out of your chest.

You felt a bit better when the other executives—Kouyou and Chuuya showed up before you.

“Miss, these are the Port Mafia’s three executives.” He introduced you individually, not meeting your eye when he went to you.

You wanted to leave. There was no point in being here anymore. What you thought would be a cheery Christmas Eve turned out to be the worst night ever. It couldn’t have gotten any worse…

“And this is the Lady of Pazenia,” Dazai said, introducing the woman. “Our most important foreign guest tonight.”

“So, uh? I’m kinda confused,” Chuuya commented. “Mackerel boss, ya dating her or something?” He glanced at Dazai, the girl on him, and then you.

She responded for him. “We’re getting acquainted tonight, that’s all,” she replied smugly. Dazai chuckled. “Yes…we’ve communicated online a few times, but this is the first time we’re meeting face to face.”

What the fuck.

“Oh, uh, okay.” For once, Chuuya didn’t pester, didn’t tease anymore. Because he was just as startled as you. He, too, suspected that you were dating the boss.

“I’m sorry, will you please excuse me? It was nice meeting you, m’lady; I hope you enjoy your Christmas with the boss.” You didn’t even wait for a reply. You stormed off in the direction of your assistant. You were going to ask him to drive you home, and then you’d pack your things and then stay at a friend’s house for a few days to figure out what to do next.

Everything was crashing down like an avalanche.

But before you could get to him, the bastard’s subordinate stopped you.

“Akutagawa? Hi, Merry Christmas. Sorry, I’m in a rush-”

“Merry Christmas, miss,” he responded, moving in front of you again when you tried to shift over. “Aren’t you going to rescue the boss? Has your emotion clouded your rationality so much you can’t see things clearly anymore?”

“I’m sorry, what?”

You turned back towards the scene, and yeah—what you saw was your final straw. Akutagawa misjudged. Not even a glimmer of hope remained in you.

Somehow, they had ended up at the corner of the room. And lo and behold, Dazai and the Lady of Pazenia had ended up under the mistletoe, and many of the upper ranks surrounded them. There was even a Paparazzi.

You tried to push past Akutagawa, but he stopped you.

“Watch.”

Why? Did Dazai place him there to make sure you suffered through it all? This was so cruel. Tears welled up in your eyes as the room went quiet to watch.

“Oh! Silly me…how did I manage to get here?”

“I’m not sure…” the woman replied flirtatiously. “But you can’t break a tradition, boss of the Port Mafia.”

“I guess I can’t,” Dazai replied, leaning in. “But, can we make a deal, Miss?

“You can kiss me, but tell me where the real Lady of Pazenia is. The exact coordinates where you’re keeping her hostage. If there’s anyone kept in place to secure or torture her.”

And the crowd suddenly gasped. She did, too, and a hand flew to her mouth.

“Shit!”

About ten guards ran towards her, restraining her before she could do anything. Dazai calmly backed away, continuing to explain.

“The business proposal was crafty and would’ve led to our doom quite quickly. You’re trying to overthrow your own government. So, you devised a cover-up to get the mafia to help you, with a deal to help us on our end, but just like your original goal, you want our city’s government to fall into anarchy, too.

“An underground noblewoman. You are exactly that—quite literally.” Dazai sighed. “No, I’m not in a relationship with her, I…”

Dazai finally met your eye, and his heart immediately sunk seeing you cry.

“Oh my gosh,” he whispered, and he ran towards you, tightly embracing you.

You wanted to punch him, throw him away—something, but you were surrounded by half the corporate. There was already enough scandal tonight, you didn’t need to add any more.

“Hah, it’s okay,” you responded audibly, hastily wiping tears. “You’re a great actor, Osamu, really got me believing you were cheating on me for a second.” Words spurred out of your mouth—you hoped you wouldn’t regret it later.

Dazai’s grip on you tightened to silently show you gratitude before he turned to your audience. “Now that the problem is out of the way—Merry Christmas to you all.” A waiter handed him a glass of champagne, who had also gone around with multiple others to hand out drinks to everyone.

“And a special Merry Christmas to my girlfriend, right here.” He gave you a kind smile, and you tried your best to reciprocate your own. There were “awe”’s and “that’s so cute”’s about.

Dazai held his glass up towards everyone else’s before toasting with yours.

…

You stayed away from Dazai for the next hour. He respected your space for that long—in the meantime, you acted fine. You conversed with others, you laughed. Your assistant apologized for his comment on you earlier—“I was completely oblivious to you and the boss! I’m so sorry; I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable.” You laughed it off, telling him it was okay.

“Hey, bella.”

Dazai had finally found you alone. You looked at him, facing the inevitable.

“I’m getting tired. Wanna sneak away with me?”

You hesitated. “Where would we go?”

“The drinks suck here, besides that champagne. I know Chuuya was definitely not in charge of this part.”

You had to agree with that one. You couldn’t even finish the glass you overfilled earlier.

…

Bar Lupin was surprisingly empty that night. The bar was Dazai’s safe place, his getaway. You were constantly reminded of his genuine, complete trust in you whenever he took you here.

“I’m sorry,” Dazai apologized as you waited for your drinks. “What I did was brutal.”

“It really fucking hurt,” you said, finally able to release your true feelings now that nobody else was around.

“I had to keep up the act to expose her. Her vulnerability was that…she had a crush on me? So, the most rapid way to gain her trust was to make her believe she had a chance. She didn’t know I was seeing someone.”

“You take acting too seriously. You’re the Port Mafia boss, not some goddamn movie actor. You couldn’t even…make eye contact with me? Give me a reassuring look or something?”

“You’re right. That’s no excuse.” He took a breath. He had actually messed something up. He could predict and do everything else flawlessly until it came to the people he loved.

He always screwed it up.

“I set aside our relationship for a mission. I’m really sorry, love. And I understand if it takes awhile for you to think through it all. The only thing I ask is for forgiveness.”

“I dunno…it kind of seems like you enjoyed it…”

That was a lie. You were just saying things out of spite now. You had rethought the previous events after recalling what Akutagawa had harshly told you without context—rescue the boss? Yeah, Dazai clearly didn’t enjoy it. He never touched the woman back in any way, and his word choice was very cautious. Except one line.

“Us communicating online? Yeah, I knew she’d just go along with it. I had to say that so Chuuya would stop pushing and blow my cover. Besides, you literally have my email login, darling. You see everything.”

“I really hate you sometimes, Osamu, you know?” you muttered as the bartender finally handed you two your drinks. You took a thirsty sip out of yours. You couldn’t even stay mad anymore.

“Is that your way of saying you forgive me?” he chuckled, knowing the mood was lightening.

“No. You’re just too…attractive. Like, why are you so hot? All the girls want you…I was actually quite relieved when you asked me if we should make things official so everyone could finally know that we belong to each other…”

Hah, if only you knew.

“You don’t assume I think the same? You almost pissed me off by hanging around your little assistant, too, belladonna. He clearly fancies you.”

You gulped, remembering his earlier compliment. “Don’t do anything to him—he didn’t know. He does now.”

“He better,” he simply replied. “And everyone else. There’s no excuse now—you’re the Port Mafia boss’ girlfriend.”

You felt like there were butterflies in your stomach. The protectiveness was attractive. You pulled on Dazai’s tie, reeling the rest of him towards you.

“And you’re my boyfriend,” you smiled.

To everyone else, Dazai was known as evil, suicidal, murderer, demon, saint. But to you, he was simply Osamu. Your boyfriend. And perhaps that’s what he loved most of all. Across universes, you would not fail him—not even Odasaku succeeded so highly.

“Are you going to kiss me, bella?” Dazai asked, the signature smile back on his face.

“No,” you teased, pushing him back. “I’m still mad at you. Nothing went according to plan.”

“Nothing did,” the brunette replied. “But isn’t that what’s so exciting about life? Life is unexpected, yet some good things can come out of it, such as…”

He revealed a piece of mistletoe in his hand, holding it above you two.

“Even if you’re mad, you can’t break a tradition,” Dazai spoke, swinging the plant back and forth.

You sighed before you both leaned in to kiss each other. Dazai pulled you onto his lap, and you kissed him even more feverishly. Your hands ran through his hair until the bandage around his head finally came undone, unveiling the rest of his pretty face.

You focused on his dilated, honey-colored eyes. Finally, they revealed what he was feeling. Comfort in having you in his arms again. In your warmth.

Everything felt too intense after that. He had started making out with you again, his hands were wandering you curiously, the dim lighting, the jazz instrumental, how tipsy you felt from the drinks…

“Let’s just go home.”

…

You were swaddled in Dazai’s arms under the bed's covers at home. So sleepy. Dazai promised that the next day would treat the both of you better—a peaceful Christmas gift.

“Let’s stop doing such large parties,” you said, looking up at the ceiling. “It just calls for trouble, to be honest.”

“Yeah…we’ll have a small houseparty next time. Everyone else can do what they want.”

You were gently kissed on the forehead before the brunette softly whispered to you. “Merry Christmas, belladonna. I love you.”

“I love you too, Osamu.”

dazai told me he’d kiss u if u rb this. rbs are cherished; they are ur christmas gift to me! <3

tags: @kissesmellow21 @osaemu @ruanais + @lovedazai @chuuyrr @anqelically (i think u guys would like this <3)

554 notes · View notes

woozvc · 6 months

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better left unsaid.

req (from 💩 anon) — "mingyu loosing his temper on you and it hurts like a bitch"

read pt.2 here - promises.

synopsis - "mingyu was the sweetest guy you knew, till he let his emotions get the best of him."

pairing — mingyu x gn!reader

genre/s — so much angst

cw— mention of a heated argument, screaming, reader flinches once, cursing.

w/c - 1k ish

mingyu is the sweetest guy you know.

you've dated people, some good some bad but, none of them treated you how good mingyu did.

in the haze of the “perfect relationship” you seemed to have forgotten that people will always act as people. human emotions are stronger than we give it credit for.

arguments are never easy, specially with a loved one but they're easy to solve with proper reasoning. you hoped.

it started with a shitty day. you woke up and the power of the entire city was out so you got late to your work. mingyu also had the same start, but everyone was late to practice so it got ignored.

nothing major happened, just small things throughout the day.

you lost one of your files at work, mingyu forgot the choreography more than once. you dropped your coffee at work, mingyu got in an argument with his manager.

a shitty day.

a shitty day that leds to a shitty mood.

you got home first, wanting this day to end as soon as possible. you dropped your bag near the door and face planted at the couch, just wanting the comfort of your home. mingyu arrived 2hours later. he entered hurriedly, wanting to do the same thing as you.

mingyu was a clumsy man. he didn't see your bag, tripped and hit his knee hard on the marble floor.

it felt as though the entire apartment shook. you got up and ran to him but he held his knee, got up and walked away not acknowledging you. it hurt but you shurgged it off, not wanting to pay attention to it. you went to check what you both could have for dinner.

next thing that happened was all of his tshirts were in the wash, it was your turn to take them out.

mingyu felt his annoyance rising but he buried it down, put on a old tshirt and walked to the kitchen limping.

“you forgot the groceries” you said chuckling, trying to reduce the tension in the house.

it was supposed to be a joke. mingyu didn't take it as a joke.

the entire day's frustration broke down. he pointed out you not doing the laundry, you pointed out the power outage, he pointed out his busy schedule and etc etc etc

but never in your 3year relationship with mingyu did you expect a little thing to get this bad. unknowingly you were raising your voices slowly till the ball dropped.

“JUST FUCKING SHUT UP ONCE A WHILE”

mingyu screamed at you with an exaggerated hand gesture and you flinched. he did something that made you flinch.

mingyu said something he would regret for the rest of his life. you physically stepped back. mingyu was a tall man and him screaming at you made him a lot scarier. you just stared at him wide eyed.

seeing your reaction and realising his words, mingyu immediately shut up. he covered his mouth and put his hand out

“baby I didn't mean to-”

“stop.”

you stepped back. you looked at his eyes now threatening with tears and walked to your room, locking the door and for a second sinking down on the floor.

a few minutes passed when you stepped out, you saw mingyu sitting at the kitchen floor. his eyes we're red with tears, face swollen. he looked at you and said with a shaky voice

“w-where are yo-you going?”

“don't call me for a while”

and you left, walked to your best friends house. he watched you leave, watched you walk out the door of the apartment the both of you made a home.

mingyu was the sweetest guy you knew, till he let his emotions get the best of him.

a/n - any complaints about angst will go to 💩 anon they fuled the angst writer in me (atleast both of you are alive in this fic! most of the characters from the stories I wrote in 2022 can't relate LMFAO)

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just-another-author-i-guess · 1 year

Note

Judd smut in Y/n's car? 😈

JUDD SMUT IN Y/N’S CAR !!!

Tags: fem! Reader, porn without plot, well I mean they talk like a little before they fuck, driving under the influence?, okay literally don’t do that pls idk why they did it in this fic, being low key inappropriate in front of kids, more weed smoking 🫶, judd has a HUGE HORSE COCK, he also degrades Y/n quite a bit, also like semi public sex??, it’s literally in a car, and once again very unprotected sex, PLEASE WRAP IT!!

Summary: they fuck in Y/n’s car after Judd got his taken away lmfao

Author’s note: SORRY this took me so long to write for some reason,, I hate school so much oml 😡 I was originally going to finish and post this yesterday but like then I got a bunch of unsolicited dick pics and I got scared and didn’t feel like writing smut anymore 🧍🏻🏃🏻‍♀️ anyways,, I’m back today and I’m fine, just traumatized. I love being a woman fr 💩

Judd smut in Y/n’s car

Word count; 3,9K

(smut under the cut)

Judd took a long drag of his cigarette, exhaling most of it through his nose but having the decency to turn his head slightly and exhaling the rest through the barely opened window.

He flicked the burned tip out the window as well; cinder falling down and gathering in the cracks of where the window sat in the door.

“You drive like a fucking grandma— drive faster,” He instructed.

You didn’t turn your head from the road. “I’m actually driving exactly what the speed limit allows. Fuck off. “ You grumbled.

The two of you were on the way back from one of Judd’s deals, which you were almost late to because Judd decided to leave 10 minutes behind schedule, forgetting you had to drive and refused to go too far over the speed limit. The deal itself had been pretty uninteresting; you sat in the car and watched as Judd handed the guy a plastic back and he handed your boyfriend the money.

He got his car hijacked (parentsjacked) two weeks ago, because he got caught lighting an old building on fire. You were there too, actually, too drunk and stoned to care in the moment; but because Judd could be a pretty good boyfriend at times he covered up for you.

“Yeah. Whatever. I need at least one of us to have a car.” He said, when you asked him about it.

Immediately after, you had been prompted to Judd’s personal Uber. Not to mention he had to hide most of his,, not legal substances in the trunk of your car, hence why you were now even more adamant on following traffic rules as to not get pulled over by the cops.

(Or found out by your mom, who already wasn’t a very big fan of your boyfriend)

His raccoons had also made themselves at home in your backseat, at the moment the two of you were alone in the car but often there would be a couple of them napping in the back.

Judd grumbled something in response that you didn’t quite hear, but you retorted; “Shut the fuck up. Why can’t you just act like a passenger princess, or something,”

He opened and closed his mouth, cigarette hanging on his lips. “What the fuck did you just call me?”

You smiled a little. “That’s what you are, babe. You’re my passenger princess,”

Blinking slowly, he put the cigarette out in the ashtray he had placed between the front seats and stared at you blankly. “What the hell are you talking about? You think I look like a princess?” He was baffled.

You suppressed a chuckle, and turned your head quickly to gauge his reaction. “I forgot you’re too edgy to use tiktok,” You murmured. When you opened it on your phone, he would sometimes stand behind you and glare at the screen over your shoulder, but that was all the exposure he’d had to the app.

Judd frowned. “Why don’t you pull over and I’ll show you who the real fucking princess is.” It was half a threat, but none that you took too seriously.

“Oh, yeah? You’d have to pay extra for that, Uber drivers don’t normally fuck their costumers.” You answered coyly, but he didn’t find your quip nearly as funny as you did. You turned back to the road, making sure you weren’t about to run into any middle schoolers as you neared Bridgeton Middle School. Judd didn’t say anything– but you felt his large hand slither up your leg, enclosing around your thigh and squeezing the fat there softly.

He looked out the window to his side, refusing to grant you attention while he continued to massage your thigh; and glaring as you pulled into the parking lot. Judd had convinced you to skip school that day, so you could drive him to his stupid deal and you could smoke and get McDonald’s after. The first part of his plan went without a hitch, until you got incredibly high-horny and you ended up fucking in the bathroom at McDonald’s as well. Unfortunately, you had to leave sooner than intended; in a daze and desperate to sober up before you went and picked Jessi up from school. Coincidentally Nick as well, since, you know, Judd's parents took his car.

You parked and turned to Judd, crawling half over to his seat and forcing him to look at you. His glare lessened as he stared at your grinning face so close to his; leaning in. You kissed him softly once, then twice, then three times, giggling and pulling away whenever he chased you. He growled and the hand on your thigh went to your waist, he pulled you in and was just about to kiss you properly, forcefully and roughly when a series of knocks came to your window.

It was Jessi and Nick. You averted your head and let Judd kiss your cheek instead, gently pushing him back as you sat back down in your seat. You motioned for the two to come in.

Jessi opened the door, and allowed Nick to crawl inside first. “It smells like weed and junkfood in here.” She commented, a slight question in her statement as she crawled in, too, and closed the door behind her.

You turned your body halfway in your seat, coming to face her. “Sure.” You ignored her comment. “Had a good day at school?”

Both her and Nick nodded reluctantly. “Yeah. Can you help me with some maths-stuff later?” She asked and you wrinkled your nose; Maths was not something you were particularly good at, but you nodded and agreed to help her anyways.

Judd’s hand returned to your thigh and you glanced at him– he was staring blankly at the kids, but he met your eyes with raised eyebrows, indicating he wanted something from you. You hummed. “Hey, Jessi, how about hanging out at Nick’s house for a while?” You looked to Nick, who flushed slightly and nodded in agreement.

Jessi’s mouth tightened as she looked at Nick, and then you. She new that when you asked her that, you really meant; “Hey, Jessi, it would be more convenient for me to drive straight to Judd’s house so we can fuck.”

“C’mon Jessi, we can watch a movie or something,” Nick added hopefully. You smiled, a bit tightly as you looked at Jessi and she reluctantly uncrossed her arms and agreed. “Okay, fine. But can we do that stupid biology assignment together then, instead?”

Nick agreed happily, and the two quickly got a rather animated conversation started. You drove out of the parking lot, Judd’s hand increasing in height on your thigh till he was toying with the hem of your skirt. You flushed, gently pushing his hand down a couple times so Jessi and Nick wouldn’t see, but it ultimately was a losing battle.

The two’s conversation turned to background noise as you drove towards your destination, as fast as you could; now way faster than the speed limit allowed. Judd’s incessant caress of your thigh made your heart beat so much faster and your finger’s grip the steering wheel so much tighter— you could feel him staring hungrily at you the whole time too, seizing you up with that small twitch of his lips that meant he was going to fuck you till your legs were jelly.

‘Step on that goddamn speeder, sugar! Look how he’s eyeing you.. like a big, hungry wolf,’ Connie’s claws locked around the back of your seat, and she moaned when his nails slightly scratched at your fishnets; lifting them and making them slap against your thigh.

You gasped, and sent him a glare that bordered on a sultry pout. “I can’t,” you muttered to Connie. “I’ll actually run someone over if I go any faster,”

Your monstress shook the seat harder. ‘They won’t mind giving up their life for some sweet, sweet lovemaking baby~’ She purred and you glanced at her briefly, with a scandalised expression.

“I really don’t think you should be saying stuff like that,” You retorted, focused on evening out your breathing from the slow teasing of Judd’s warm hand. Then he leaned in, squeezing your thigh in a death grip and placed a long, slow kiss under your jaw

“You changed your mind about fucking your Uber costumer yet?” He drawled, deep voice dragging a whispering growl all the way up your spine.

You shivered. “I think I have,” you breathed back and felt him smile triumphantly against your neck.

He cackled darkly. “Good. You better drop the fucking attitude,” Then, he snapped your fishnets again, watching as thin, red lines appeared on your thigh.

Connie moaned loudly again, fanning her hands in front of her face before dramatically laying down on the floor of the car, between the front and back seats.

“Ew. Can you two not?” That time it was Nick speaking, arms crossed over his chest.

Jessi nodded in agreement; her gaze was locked on where Judd was touching your thigh, burning into you. Your boyfriend in question slowly retreated his hand, half turning in his seat to glare dissatisfied at your two passengers.

Nick shifted uncomfortably and whatever insult he had died on his tongue. “What? Are you fucking jealous or something?” He sneered.

The younger shrugged and looked away. “No.”

Judd grunted, gravely and deeply. “It’s not my fault you can’t get your little prick wet,” He wiggled his pinky finger for emphasis.

You failed to hold back a giggle and gently slapped his arm. “Don’t tell thirteen-year-olds to have sex, you ass,” You scolded, halfheartedly through and smiled as you came to a stop in front of the birch house.

“Okay, get out you two!” You called over your shoulder. “We’ll be right in— I’m just gonna park.” You bluffed, and didn’t miss the way Jessi rolled her eyes at you as she slammed the car door behind her.

Connie rose from the floor to sit in the middle seat in the back. ‘Yeah, park Judd’s dick right in your pussy!’ She drawled, making obscene gestures with her hands.

Judd was quick to point you to a nearby parking spot, concealed a bit by a willow tree with low-hanging branches. As soon as you were parked, you unbuckled your seatbelt and Judd was reaching for you.

He pulled you to him by your waist— settling you down over his lap, straddling him. You whimpered as you felt him against you, already straining in his pants. He grabbed greedy handfuls of your ass with one hand, having the other settle on the back of your neck and pulling your hair. He held your head in an iron grip, making sure you wouldn’t avoid his kiss this time around.

Then, he kissed you. Roughly, deeply, tongue invading your mouth almost instantly. You mewled as he bit your lower lip, arms wrapped around his neck and fingers gently pulling on the short hairs at the back of his head.

You were already moving your hips, without thinking about it and he wasted no time in aiding you; thrusting upwards while holding your hips down and helping you rock back and forth.

You were already quite sensitive from your earlier rough fuck in the McDonald’s bathroom, your clit swelled and started twitching almost instantly. The rough drag of denim on your panties was almost too much, but the sloshing of warmth in your lower belly kept you going— rutting yourself harder against him.

He moved from your lips, you let out a soft, whiny sigh. “You wanted it that bad, huh? You’re already so fuck-drunk,” He commented, that wicked smile pulling at his lips. He squeezed your asscheek hard. “Up.” He instructed, and shakily, you lifted yourself up to stand on your knees instead of sitting on him.

You held his shoulders for support, definitely not expecting him to bring both his hands under your skirt and roughly ripping your fishnets apart right under your pussy. He let them rip all the way down your thighs and you looked at him wide-eyed.

“I’ll get you new ones, baby.” He grinned, a bit coyly as he pushed your panties aside. His cold fingers gently brushed your folds and you couldn’t find it in yourself to care about your ruined tights. Your breathing hitched and you desperately bucked your hips, trying to get him to touch you further.

His other hand returned to your hip, to hold it in place and keep you from rutting yourself against his fingers. He gave a warning growl, brows drawing together as he concentrated on the task at hand. He teased your folds apart with his pointer, feeling how warm and wet you already were. You were pulsing, almost, starting to clench before his fingers even entered.

“Judd—“ You moaned. “Do— do something.” You pleaded with him.

Connie was going crazy behind you as well, both her and Maury were sitting in the backseat contributing to an animated conversation. Your monstress shook Maury by the shoulders, yelling at him to get Judd to do anything.

‘C’mon! Fist her already!’ Maury roared, kicking the seat you and Judd were sitting on.

Your boyfriend inhaled sharply, pressing his thumb to your swollen bud— forcing a breathy, drawn out whine out of you. He retaliated by pressing down harder, slowly moving his thumb in a circle that had you desperately bucking into his hand.

He could feel your warmth leaking, wetness gathering and threatening to fall before he finally, finally gave in and shoved a finger into you. He looked at you, drinking in your expression as he burrowed one, long finger into your cunt.

Connie cheered and you cried out Judd’s name. He made a ‘come hither’ motion, slightly scratching deep within your walls right where you needed him. He chuckled, darkly as you clenched around his finger.

“Want one more?” He asked— pressing down on your clit deliberately right as you were about to answer.

You nodded your head, burying your face in his shoulder. “Mhm! Judd— please!” You wiggled your hips in emphasis.

“Good girl.” He praised you, adding a second finger as promised. He pumped them for a little while, relishing in the moans you tried to conceal in his neck and grunting at the occasional bites you left.

Then, he suddenly stopped moving, but not withdrawing his fingers. You whined pathetically in protest. “Relax, slut.” He said. “Fuck yourself on my fingers,”

You didn’t need to be told twice, immediately you were bouncing up and down on his hand; trying to bring them as far into your pussy as possible. You clawed at Judd’s shirt, pulling the neckline down so you could properly bite him and conceal most of your whiny moans.

He groaned, ripping his head back and allowing you more access to ravage his neck. You could feel yourself dripping, warm liquid gathering in Judd’s palm and running down his forearm. He pressed your clit harder, feeling your cunt clench tightly around his fingers— his cock ached at the thought of feeling your little pussy around him again.

The car filled with loud squelching sounds, every time you rose and fell back on his fingers. Your pace fastened in time with Judd’s assault on your clit and you cried out; “Please—please, more! Judd, please!”

“Yeah?” He drawled and you lifted your head from his neck slightly to nod your head. Then, he curled his fingers and touched a spot that had you seeing stars. You cried out, loudly, as his fingers began thrusting into you violently. Along with your combined forces, you moving your hips frantically and him rolling your clit with his thumb and scissoring his long fingers inside your pussy, you reached the edge quickly.

Judd sneered. “You gonna cum?” He knew the answer already, could feel it in the way your little pussy throbbed and clenched around his fingers.

Your thighs burned from your rapid movement, shaking as liquid flames consumed your belly. “S’good, s’good— yes,” you breathed, clawing at Judd’s chest.

He bend his fingers inside you again, breathing into your ear in his nice, deep voice. “Come on my fingers, pretty girl. C’mon.”

Again, you definitely did not need to be told twice. The coil in your tummy snapped, and you fell apart with a loud cry of your boyfriends name. He continued finger fucking you through your orgasm, until you were even puffier and so sensitive that you were shying away from his hands.

He grinned gleefully. “Good fucking girl,” he praised you, rubbing your clit in slow circles again, before finally pulling out and allowing you to rest on his knees.

You sat, feeling your own wetness drip underneath you as you tried to catch your breath— Judd however, wasted no time, unbuckling his pants and pulling his fat cock out.

You swallowed at the sight, how fucking hard he was and your pussy clenched again— as if it wasn’t already sore and abused. Subconsciously, you rutted your hips a bit forward, grinding on his knee as you watched him stroke himself. He hissed, hand tightly fisting the base of his cock and making its way to his leaking head; you timed your movements with his stroking.

“C’mere.” He grunted, hands leaving his swollen cock in favour of grabbing your hips and pulling you towards him.

On instinct, you reached forwards and grabbed his dick, standing on your knees again so you could sink down on him. You only managed to get the head in, before one of his large hands wrapped around your wrists; stopping you.

“You take what I give you, slut. Pull shit like that again and I’ll have you on your knees instead, got it?” He growled, his other hand restraining your hip in a death grip that was sure to leave marks on your after— long, purple finger prints.

Though the thought of sucking him off wasn’t terrible, your pussy ached so pathetically and you knew the only thing that would satisfy you was Judd’s cock rearranging your guts. So you whined, but nodded and let him guide you back.

He leaned the seat back a little, Maury yelped and moved away from his place behind you to make space as Judd leaned back. He lifted his hips up, emphasising what he wanted from you.

You reached out a shaky hand, closing it around his base and moving up and down just like he had before. He groaned, teeth clenching as you smeared his pre-cum from top to bottom, massaging him to the best of your ability. Still, you couldn’t ignore the harsh clenching of your hole as he kept you empty. You slowly started grinding against his thigh again, hoping he’d let you.

“Judd..” You sniffled, eyes close to filling with tears. “I need your cock inside me, please.”

You could almost feel Judd’s dick hardened in your grip, and he growled and sat up a little straighter. “Jeez. You whine like a bitch in heat,” He commented, rather smugly.

He beckoned you with his fingers again, and you raised yourself right over his cock but waited to sit down. Judd hummed in approval, guiding his cock with one hand and you with the other, till the head was making its way inside you.

You sighed, relieved, trying to relax your throbbing pussy so Judd could fit. He groaned. “You’re so.. fucking tight, relax.” He said, as he forced his way further inside you.

When he finally bottomed out, you moaned, loudly. He didn’t move right away, so again you took matters into your own hands and started softly rocking your hips.

He grabbed your hand, placing it over your belly to feel the bulge his cock had created inside you. “Feel that, baby? You’re so full, aren’t you?”

You barely registered the question, burying your face in his neck again to hide the way your whole expression screwed up in pleasure. “Mhm.. s’big, s’full.” You slurred.

Then, Judd started moving, bouncing you in his lap like a cocksleeve while you wailed into his shoulder. The stretch was almost unbearable, you felt him bruising your cervix each time he moved— the fit was so snug you could feel every ridge and vain on him.

He lost himself in the feeling of your warm, soft pussy, having tuned Maury out a long time ago he fucked you mercilessly, entirely focused on reaching his own end. He lifted his hips off the seat to pound into you from below— you could feel him in your belly, your clit scraping over his lower stomach every time he moved.

It was too much— you were already close to reaching your end, clenching so tightly around Judd that he cursed and could barely move.

“Feel good, you little slut?” He grunted, blunt nails digging into your sides.

You nodded desperately. “Good.” He said. “Then cum for me again, you’re so close, right? I can feel your little pussy clenching around my dick so tightly, god, you’re such a fucking whore.”

You kinda wanted to say something back, but with his rough thrusts and the way your eyes rolled to the back of your head and crossed; you couldn’t really deny him.

The air in the car felt electric as you came for a second time, bursting and feeling a flush of warm liquid spill from you and cover Judd’s cock. He groaned as you creamed, warm little hole sucking him in and fighting to keep him there. His breathing went erratic, and he bounced you harder, faster, to chase his own orgasm.

“Fuck! Shit, you’re so tight,” He growled through clenched teeth, fucking you so hard the car shook and he was sure to leave bruises. Your legs had gone numb by the time he took your hand again, placing it back on your belly right in time with his release.

His cock throbbed and he came. Hard. Thick ropes of warm cum filled you, stuffing you so full you could feel your belly swell even further under yours and Judd’s combined hands.

He leaned in and bit down on your neck, keeping his own noises as quiet as possible but making sure to leave your neck swollen and blue. You moaned softly as he bit you, not having the energy to shy away from the borderline painful overstimulation.

When he came down, you collapsed into his chest— breathing heavily. You sat like that for a while, the car’s windows had been fogged up and the only thing you could hear were your combined breathing.

‘Atta girl!’ Connie slithered around you, patting you on the head. You just mumbled incoherently in response, still too sex drunk to function.

Maury did the same, ruffling Judd’s hair as he leaned his head back against the seat and praising him— all of which Judd ignored.

“You’ll have to carry me back.” You muttered, after a long while.

Judd chuckled hoarsely, moving you a bit to pull out of you and tug himself back in his jeans. “Fuck no.”

You slapped his chest, gently, and pulled yourself up to look at him directly. “I can’t feel my legs.”

“Then I did a good fucking job.” He snarked, leaning in and kissing your temple.

Well. It wasn’t like the two of you needed to be somewhere, relaxing in your car for a bit actually did seem like a pretty good option— and so that’s what you did.

God,, why am I horny for a fucking cartoon character wth 💀✋

Tags: @dlfvrr , @bxbyyyjocelyn (lemme know if you want to be tagged!)

#big mouth #judd birch #judd birch x reader #headcannons #big mouth x reader #judd birch smut #smut #Judd is so pretty omg

1K notes · View notes

a-disturbing-self-reflection · 3 months

Text

🏁 Winner, winner, chicken dinner - EO31

SUMMARY: Social media au, y/n is an f1 driver for porsche. 2 best friends finally get a clue. PAIRING: Esteban ocon x fem!reader

Y/N13

Liked by Estebanocon and others

Y/N13 Proud of porsche 🖤

Sorry to end silly season before it begins, but here's to another year!

View all comments...

Estebanocon how long did that take you to think of?

↳ Y/N13 dont...

↳ User1 not him exposing her like that 💀

User2 yesss! Our queen is slaying staying

PorscheF1 We'd want no one else! 🔥💛

↳ alex_albon do I mean nothing to you?

↳ Y/N13 I love you Porsche admin 😍😍

↳ PorscheF1 😳

↳ Estebanocon stop flirting with the poor admin

↳ landnorris jealous? 🤨

↳ User5 ok Grandpa, lets get you into bed

User3 Can't wait to watch next weeks gp

User4 I'm taking time off work to watch next weeks grand prix! Cant wait to see you smash it, Hungary here i come!!

User5 She's such a porsche girly, I'm living for it

User6 I dont want, I NEED that jacket

↳ User5 ikr, its GORGEOUS

Estebanocon

Liked by Y/N13, fernandoalo_oficial and others

Estebanocon I don't know what to write I'm lost for words we just won the Hungarian @ f1GrandPrix i will forever remember this moment!!🔥 Thank you to @ alpinef1team, without them I would not have made it, and what a drive by the legend himself @ fernandoalo_oficial he's part of this too

View all comments...

alpinef1team 🔥🔥

↳ User6 alpine fr love their fire emojis

↳ alpinef1team 🔥

Y/N13 King of long captions and king of the podium!

↳ Estebanocon let me celebrate in peace

↳ User5 Mum help, they're flirting again

↳ User7 you are delulu

User8 You only got that win cause of Fernando clown 🤡

User9 💩

User10 Not the toxic Fernando fan boys in the comments 💀

fernandoalo_oficial Congrats 😁👍

↳ Estebanocon next win is yours 😉

Y/N13 added to her story!

Y/N13 Estie my bestie, we party like no others.

Reply...

landonorris I was there too you know

Y/N13 🥱

landonorris Of course you're only focused on him

Y/N13 whats that supposed to mean?

landonorris nothinggggg ;)

lando.jpg

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lando.jpg Podium pals 😎

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User11 She looks like a godess... And they're... there.

Y/N13 Did Estie dirty there lmao

↳ lando.jpg Estie? interesting

↳ User5 HA he's so us

User6 lando got those moves 🕺

Estebanocon It was a great night to end a great day

mclaren looking good Lando! 🔥

charles_leclerc This is charles erasure

↳ lando.jpg Next time dont DNF then 🤷‍♂️

↳ User15 He didnt 💀

User14 Ocon embracing the squirrel

F1gossip

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F1gossip seems it's not just lando norris who got tired during the Belgian GP! Y/n L/n and Esteban Ocon caught snuggling up during the red flag

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User5 INTERESTING

User15 They're childhood friends, obviously they're comfy with eachother

↳ User16 Let us L/nOcon shippers live in delusion ok

User17 When is it my tuuuurn

User18 why is no one talking about how cute lando looks

User19 Lando in the liiiikes??

↳ User20 He's the #1 f1 gossiper, of course he's in the likes

Y/N13

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Y/N13 And thats how you celebrate P2

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User16 Who's the person you're playing uno with?

↳ landonorris Ocon obviously

↳ User1 More importantly who won

↳ User3 As if Y/n would ever let a man beat her

Liked by Y/N13

↳ User8 She did in the race today

↳ User5 You did NOT, thats FOUL

Estebanocon I'm not accepting this slander, I beat her

↳ Y/N13 LIES

maxverstappen1 Congrats on P2, offended you didn't come out partying with us

↳ Y/N13 But merlin...

↳ User15 She's so real for choosing to watch her fave show instead of going out partying

PorscheF1 p1 here we come! 🏆🔥

↳ User21 why do all admins love the fire emoji?

↳ PorscheF1 🔥

↳ mclaren 🔥

↳ alpinef1team 🔥

landonorris You watched merlin WITHOUT ME???

↳ Y/N13 sucks to suck ig

↳ landonorris :(

User6 Her celebrating her podium with him instead of the rest of the grid 😚

↳ User10 It's so cute

↳ User22 I dont get it, are they dating

↳ landonorris not yet

↳ User5 He ships it harder than us i swear

User23 Soft launch?

↳ User24 They're BEST FRIENDS, this is not a soft launch 😭

Y/N13

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Y/N13 Happy birthday Estie bestie, 15 in a caravan turned to 25 in an f1 car so quick 🖤

View all comments...

Estebanocon I hate you

↳ Y/N13 you love meeee

↳ landnorris Just kiss already pls

Liked by Estebanocon

↳ User5 Ayo?

User17 The media team did NOT see this one looool

User5 Bestie, the last pic I-

User23 I love it when me and my bestfriend cuddle all platonic style, jokingly flirt and have date nights... girl who you fooling?

User18 He's so baby girl

User15 They're in love

↳ User24 You're delusional (I believe you)

Y/N13

Liked by PorscheF1, charles_leclerc and others

Y/N13 Winner winner chicken dinner, what more can I say?

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User5 How about explaining that kiss!!??!?!

PorscheF1 Could not be prouder.

User25 Girl, WHAT does that mean?

landonorris Next step, first ever joint championship 😎

↳ Y/N13 in your dreams buddy

↳ landonorris i dont deserve this

Estebanocon We only know how to win

charles_leclerc Best person to share a podium with

↳ maxverstappen1 What am i?

↳ charles_leclerc a pain

F1gossip

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F1gossip Passionate displays from Y/n after her first Grand prix win, rushing off the podium to kiss childhood friend Esteban Ocon. Does this reveal a secret side to their relationship? Or was it a heat of the moment decision?

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User5 WE WON

User24 The pining is overrrr

User22 Y/n and Esteban finally getting together WAS on my 2021 bingo card!

↳ User26 Be honest, how many years has it been on there?

↳ User22 ....

Estebanocon

Liked by landonorris, Y/N13 and others

Estebanocon the spider to my man

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Y/N13 you think you're smooth

↳ Estebanocon the smoothest

Y/N13 finally get to say i love youuuuuuu (in a non platonic way!!)

↳ Estebanocon I'll help you reach any apple you want

↳ User20 everyday i wake up knowing ill never have this

User6 I have to know, @ landonorris how much of this was you?

↳ landonorris at least 60%

↳ User14 Only 60?

↳ landonorris the pining was crazy

Y/N13

Liked by alex_albon, Estebanocon and others

Y/N13 finally got a clue

Estebanocon only took 20 years

#esteban ocon #esteban ocon x reader #f1 imagine #f1 #f1 x reader #formula one #formula 1 #formula 1 x reader #formula 1 imagine #estie bestie #f1 smau #🏁 - matts f1 works

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meowzfordayz · 7 months

Text

when you forget to close the door while using the bathroom

Author’s Note: this isn’t nsfw, but it’s ~explicit for other reasons. 🚽🧻💩 #shitposting #literally

when you forget to close the door while using the bathroom

Hashira x Reader, Kamaboko x Reader

Word Count: ~800

CW: explicit language, poop references

~faqs~

Do you even love him ????? 😭😭😭

WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN?!?!?! 🫠😵‍💫🤢

Haunted by your little gasps for air 🙃

Can’t take intimacy srsly for a while

Bc whenever you gasp ~cutely into your kisses 🥰

Zenitsu just flashes back to you doing your best to take a shit 😮‍💨🥴

Highkey takes it as a challenge 😏

A display of dominance, if you will 😎

Nods in approval (not that you can see him)

And takes ~notes for later (aka yes, he is listening closely 💀)

You don’t know it yet

But Inosuke’s already planning his move

Drink a ton of coffee (he’ll have to ask Tanjirou how to brew it) ☕️

Eat a ton of dairy 🧀🥛🍦

Make sure you’re home 😌

Take a shit (w/ the door open, ofc) 🤗

THAT’LL SHOW YOU WHO’S BOSS !!!!! 😤😤😤🫡

King of the Toilet anyone??? 🚽👑

Wonders why everything sounds louder??? 😬

A respectful gentleman tho ☺️

Will go upstairs to avoid the plops 🫢

Too bad his hearing’s phenomenal, even when hiding on top of the roof 😃

A little irritated 🙄

But whatever

You prob just reeeally had to go

He understands 😶

Will nonchalantly ask you about it the next time you’re out w/ friends 🤨

Is getting ignored for the rest of the night worth it? 🙃

Kinda 🥲

Obanai has regrets 😞

Can smell the situation from a mile away 😅

Tbf, closing the door wouldn’t have helped much 😬

Has to contemplate whether it’s worth embarrassing you over

Like, does he gently ask, “Love, would you mind closing the door?”

Or does he wince grin and bear it

Unfortunately, the toilet paper he would use to plug up his nose is currently unobtainable 🧻☹️

Should he just knock himself out for now? 🤗

You’d prob be upset if he didn’t wake up in time… 😒

Hm… 😔

😵 <— Tanjirou inhaled too deeply

“BAAABE, YOU FORGOT TO CLOSE THE DOORRR!!!!!” 🩷💕💞💓💗💖💘💝

Giggles to herself as the door slams shut 🤭

(you’re not mad, but you had to kick it closed bc it’s a lil far from the toilet seat 😅)

Holds it against you 😌

“Shinobu, could you get me a glass of water?” ☺️

“I don’t know, my dear, could you close the bathroom door?” 😃

“Shinobu, I want a kiss.” 🥺

“Mm, and I want to forget your pooping noises. I guess we can’t always have what we want.” 😃

Chuckles to himself, at first 🤭

And then becomes concerned 😕

Is it supposed to sound like that? 🙁

Or take this long?? ☹️ Should he intrude? 😖

It’s not like there’s a closed door for him to bust down…

He could just, waltz in-

Internally scolds himself: Bad idea, [y/n] would not appreciate that!

Returns to the drawing board

And settles on a careful (once you’ve returned to him), “So, my love, are your bowels feeling okay?” ☺️

🧐😒😠 <— you

😶😬😁 <— him

“They just, uh, sounded wonderful earlier?!”

“Next time, how about closing the door?”

*Sanemi is casually leaning against a wall near the bathroom entrance*

You shriek 😳

And smack his shoulder 😡

“Sanemi!!!!! Do not wait outside the bathroom like that!!!!!” 😭

“Did you wash your hands?” 😏

“SANEMI!” 😒

“... well?” 👀

You are not amused 😐

He acquiesces 😅

“Okay, okay, I confess, I heard the sink running.” 🤓

“I hate you.” 🥲

“But you trust me enough to shit with the door open.” 🥰

“Piss off.” 🙄

“I’m about to!” 🫡

(bc, y’know, he’s about to go… piss… 😆)

Doesn’t really mind

Will prob forget to remind you about it later 🙃

Until the next time you do it

…

By the fourth incident, Muichiro gives up

If anything, he’s flattered you’re so comfortable around him ☺️

Altho he is a lil worried about your ability to use a public bathroom 😶

Def uncomfortable 😕

But even more uncomfortable at the thought of discussing ~it w/ you ☹️

Giyuu knows you wouldn’t be upset

Or even embarrassed

You have like, 0 shame, as he’s both lovingly and unfortunately come to learn ☺️😬

Which means

If he mentioned it, then you’d likely end up teasing him 🫠

“Love me so much, you’ve even gotta listen to me poop?” 😉

*shudder shudder* 😭

(I mean, yes, he does love you that much, but when you put it like that 🥴)

Giyuu settles on hoping that it was a one time mistake 🤞🙏

Good luck 😃

Tengen’s never letting you live it down 😝

Will write out instructions on “How to Use a Bathroom” 🤓

And stick ‘em on both sides of the door

Step 1: Open the door

Step 2: CLOSE THE DOOR

Step 3: ✨Do your thing✨

#hashira x reader #kamaboko #headcanons #kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer #zenitsu x reader #inosuke x reader #gyomei x reader #obanai x reader #tanjiro x reader #tanjirou x reader #mitsuri x reader #shinobu x reader #kyojuro x reader #sanemi x reader #muichiro x reader #giyuu x reader #tengen x reader

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aita-blorbos · 11 months

Note

So I often tried to mentally abuse the kid my dad brought home to live with us. I also tried to 💩 on his achievements and make it out like he had a hero complex when I was actually just jealous of the attention and his natural talent.

I tried to strangle this person and blame him for the massacre of my clan even though I secretly knew it was not his fault.

Then he appeared with an amazing power that I decided to use as a way to win a war and build my sect's reputation back up. When he became too much trouble and decided to save innocent people from a prisoner of war camp to repay the debt I owed, I did not stand by his side. I demanded he abandon the refugees and come back to be my sect like a good little subordinate, but he chose to defend the innocent people and abandon me. He broke a promise he made to me while we were kids and so I told the rest of the cultivation world he was a threat and withdrew any protection.

I then proceeded to stab him in a 'fake' fight and made his intestines fall out.

But he did break my arm!!! My left arm, that I don't use very often, all to make it look real, as we had planned. The stabbing was my creative twist though. Blood and guts make it look extra real after all. As long as it's not my own of course.

I had to wipe my ass using my right hand! I much prefer wiping my ass with my left, it was such an inconvenience.

Then he really pissed me off and I blamed him for the tragic accidental death of my brother in law and my sister sacrificing herself to save his life. Ignoring her brave act of love towards the man she considered a younger brother, I organised a blood thirsty siege to kill him and the innocent people he was protecting - including a toddler.

Unfortunately he died before I could get to him and I spent 13 years kidnapping and torturing anyone who reminded me of the man, just in case he had come back from the dead.

Now he's back and I think I deserve an apology! I kidnapped him and subjected him to psychological torture and before I had the chance to harm him any further he escaped! He just wants to live his new life with his husband (gross 🤢) and wants nothing more to do with me.

Am I the asshole here?! Or is he!?

#aita #am i the asshole #unreality #abuse mention

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sgiandubh · 7 months

Note

Un artículo que ha tocado todos los palos, felicitaciones al autor o autora😜

P* habrá tomado nota de que no tiene tiempo para rubias o seguirá buscando en los confines de IG alguna que le calce bien 🤪

Dear (returning) Dumber Anon,

Thank you for coming back in Spanish and here is your ask:

'An article that checked all the boxes, congratulations to the author.

Did P* take proper note he doesn't have time for blondes, or will she still be searching the bowels of Instagram for the right fit?'

Well, a woman wrote that article/interview/whatever, so it's la autora, not el autor.

Apparently, it's still a very busy afternoon at The Wynn hotel-cum-casino in Vegas and in *urv's mind, too. Suddenly resuscitated, Quarantein 🐰, Pap Walk Clarke and BBC. You can't make this 💩 up, you simply can't.

I am waiting for the first Chanel evening bag to be swung, tomahawk-style, at the unfortunate competition, under the jaded gaze of the gamblers.

To be honest, I am far more interested in the merciless Never Rest Duel between *urv and Marple, who clearly never set foot in Asia. Just like Marco Polo. At least, the Proto-Troll knows her shit, for obvious reasons.

Let the Hunger Games begin. 🍿🍿🍿

#Anon #shitshow #fandom

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thegreymoon · 1 month

Text

The Story of Minglan

It's been 84 years 😭😭

I've forgotten which episode I'm on 😢

***

LMAO, him putting his smelly sock to her face to check if she's really asleep 🤣🤣

How women deal with gross, smelly husbands in their beds, I will never know, but smelly or not, I'm 100% on his side here. Poor baby, he kept waiting for her to do something, anything, and she went straight to bed and fell asleep! Logically, I know she was never going to lift a finger to stop him from sleeping with that other woman and that if he had done so, he would have lost all possibility of ever winning her romantic affection for the rest of their lives. Win or lose, the very act of having to fight over him would have been a defeat for her. He is fighting on a battlefield he cannot see and is set up to lose on all fronts. But here his, against all odds, emerging with the moral high ground.

***

LOL, she's awake after all 🤣🤣

Test or no test, I was wondering how she could sleep. Even knowing, even fully prepared, even resigned, I would still not sleep for a week. Once it happened, there would be no coming back and I'd never trust or love him again, but while it was happening, I would not be able to pretend that everything was normal.

***

That's right, snuggle your wife 🤗

***

LOL, at least she has a plan to drive her away 😅

***

MY GUY, SHE'S NOT JEALOUS BECAUSE YOU PASSED THE TEST! 🎉🎉🎊🎊🎉🎉

YOU GET TO STAY MARRIED WITH HER STILL LOVING YOU!

***

Oh, Minglan, take your victories and stop now 😢

***

LMAO, yes, Minglan, stop letting evildoers add firewood to the fire!

Next time a garbage aunt comes by to stir up shit in your marriage, gouge her eyes out.

***

LMAOOOO, from the looks on their faces, I'm guessing this second wife was not invited 😅

Anyway, here for a scandal that, for once, does not involve Minglan.

***

Oof, that will end well 😅

As usual, no sympathy for men who take in concubines. I hope the main wife eats them both.

***

Yes, give them hell 🤬

The aduacity, I swear.

***

OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDD 🤯🤯

She is not very bright, is she? If I was the main wife, I would skin her alive when we got back home.

***

LMAOOOOO, I am living for Gu Tingye's WTF face 🤣🤣

***

Poor Hualan, she has to parent her dumbass mother who is about to step into a huge pile of 💩 at any moment now.

***

Oh, this shit-stirring idiot showed up too, smh.

***

OH MY GOD.

WHY IS YOUR SHIT MARRIAGE TO YOUR SHIT HUSBAND MINGLAN'S PROBLEM? LEAVE HER THE FUCK ALONE ALREADY.

***

LMFAO, Minglan is entertaining none of this nonsense 🤣🤣

The way she suddenly asserted herself as an ~elder~ and she is, what? Eighteen years old at best? 🤣🤣

***

Minlgan, murder her and bury her stinky corpse under a rosebush in your backyard.

What a goddamn bitch for no good reason.

Trust me, Minglan is not the reason your worthless husband can't get it up for you.

***

DIDN'T YOU START IT?

If it were me, I would have kicked you and your garbage husband out on your ass. But Minglan has more grace and patience than I ever will, so she is kindly trying to set you straight, you fucking moron.

Ugh, she and Qi Heng deserve each other 🤬

***

AGAIN, YOUR SHITTY MARRIAGE IS NOT MINGLAN'S FUCKING PROBLEM.

She is so done with Qi Heng's shitty ass and she doesn't even know you, leave her the fuck alone!

***

You are also an idiot.

And here I was, feeling sorry for you.

***

The way this crusty wank sock came running, smh.

He will pass up zero opportunities to take a gigantic dump on her entire life. I hate him so much.

***

FUCK OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

#the story of minglan #tsoml spoilers #tsoml ep53

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mafesti · 2 months

Text

Just trust me,

Pairing(s): Kyle "Gaz" Garrick x GN! Reader Summary: In life, I love you dearly. In death, I'll still love you till the very end. Word Count: 6636 (bwoah-) Warning(s): Angst (but it sucks probably) A/N: I was a bit down and felt like 💩 so I decided to write this and take you all down with me.

₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ.

"You'll be fine." He said, his glassy eyes betraying the words that were coming out of his mouth.

He was trying to stay strong, but he was deeply worried for you. He couldn't let you leave him like this, not yet. You two had such a close bond and he wanted to share more with you, to know you more, to hope and experience a future with you.

You noticed that you were carried - or rather cradled in the arms of someone, and the sound his footsteps digging into the mud below made you knew he was running with all his might.

Your vision was rather blurry, but you remembered the events of you being rescued from them.

But it was too late.

You were critically injured by the time he breached the metal door. The wounds that they inflicted on you was still fresh in your mind, and you could still feel every sting of it, even if you could barely make out anything else in the world apart from the voice transporting you.

His voice was strongly familiar and comforting at the same time.

"Just hold on a little bit longer," he pleaded. "I promise we can get to the beach together with the rest of the task force, I promise I'll buy that stupid roach plushie you wanted, I promise I'll let you buy anything you want - So please... please don't leave me yet."

You wanted to speak to the voice, to him, to let him know that it's alright and that you were somewhat still breathing, but the only thing you could do was let out a pained groan.

The person looked relieved when you were alive, even more so when he noticed you trying your hardest to speak to him. "Shhh, it's okay," the voice whispered quietly next to you, holding you close. "I'm here with you.. Just stay awake, yeah?"

Ah, you remember know, that voice - The way it was so soft and familiar, like the touch of a reassuring hand on the back.

You knew it all too well.

It was Gaz, or what you would usually call him, Kyle. He had been your closest companion through all the intense and crazy moments, and now, he was here to help you go through this one.

As much as you wanted to stay with him, to talk to him, to feel him, to delay the bitter end, you knew your time was almost up. Death had called upon you, and it was indeed an unavoidable fate, and you didn't like it one bit.

Why couldn't it wait,

Through teary eyes, you managed to mutter the needed words out: "Just stop…" Your voice was shaky and weak, but you knew Gaz could hear you clearly. "Would you…?"

His heart sank as he realized what you meant by that. You wanted to stop here and face your demise. He didn't want to let you go so quickly, not yet.

"No, no, no," He begged, desperate for you to stay alive. "I promise things will be okay, we can get through this. Just hold on a little bit longer, please."

Just a little bit more?

You were so weak - physically and emotionally - and you felt yourself slowly slipping away little by little.

"I don't think I can hold on," you murmured, your voice so soft and hoarse from all the pain and tears. "I'm so sorry…"

"Please, just stay with me for a little while longer. I need you right now." He begged again, and he would do it a thousand times if it meant you being alive in the end.

You were losing your grip, you were failing to hang on. And you couldn't help but feel guilty for failing to hold on and stay.

"Please, please, please-" Gaz was distraught, falling to his knees in the mud but not caring in the slightest. His arms wrapped closely around you, hands intertwined with yours as he holds you like you were the most precious thing to him.

Even when death was coming to pick you up, all you wanted was to see him. His gentle touch against your skin was a final source of comfort and reassurance. The last thing you wanted to see was him, just one last time…

Ah, of course I can't.

With the final bits of strength that were left in you, your hand went up to his cheek, and your eyes fluttered with love towards him. These last moments were filled with so much emotion, with so much hope and desire.

"Promise me, something…" Your voice was no more than a whisper, but the need for him to know this was strong.

"If I die, stay alive," and you meant it with every fiber of your being. "Eat properly, get enough sleep, act like nothing ever happened, act like I never existed." You didn't want him to ruin his life just because of you.

"Live a happy life without me." That last bit was hard to say, but you had to make sure he knew this. "You'll find someone better than me, I know it. Just know I'll always love you for eternity. Stay alive for me, okay?"

"I will," Gaz replied in a determined voice, his eyes staring right into yours, his expression a little heartbroken while being so strong at the same time. He didn't want to lose you at all, but he couldn't deny the inevitability of what was going to happen.

"I'll eat well, sleep enough, act like nothing happened. But I'll never act like you never existed." It was a bitter truth, one you could both see and feel. "You're the one person I love. And I'll live on for the both of us."

A small chuckle left your lips, a bitter yet amused one. The smile on your face still being amused at his determination, even in the time of death. Everything felt increasingly quiet and your vision began filling with that familiar void of darkness.

It was time, both you and Gaz knew this.

"I love you, Kyle." Those were the last words you said to him, and he knew that was your way of ensuring he knew how much he meant to you. As your voice gave out and your vision went black, you felt the soft embrace of death finally claim you as its own.

He hugged you tighter, desperately wanting to hold on to the final moments you had left together. His embrace was like a last attempt to make you stay a little longer. Every little bit he could get mattered to him at this point, but he was powerless against the forces of fate.

"I love you too," Gaz whispered back softly, his voice filled with so much emotion and regret. He felt your hand grow weak and your body went limp against his own, and he was suddenly overcome with grief. He couldn't stand the thought of losing you like this, but he couldn't deny the imminent reality.

His shoulders started to shake lightly as tears streamed down his cheeks like a waterfall. His face was buried in your shoulder as he cried without end, the feeling of guilt never leaving his aching heart.

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry.." He whispered one last time.

See what I did there? A bit bittersweet ending innit? Though I don't really like it, so I might change something. I'm still deciding whether I should make Gaz's POV or not.

#call of duty #cod #kyle garrick #kyle gaz garrick #kyle gaz garrick x reader #sergeant kyle gaz garrick #gaz cod #gaz x male reader #gaz x gn!reader #gaz x female reader #gaz x you #x reader #did i miss anything #shellwrites #i hate it #but like #sigh

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