Pride

Omg, you guys, it's the last one! Where did the month go!

A huge, huge thank you to @calaisreno for keeping is going the entire month, and a huge thank you to all of you for reading and writing and gushing and commenting and crying and making this more fun than it had any right to be. I'll miss this!

I did a Pride ficlet last year as a bonus ficlet because I missed two days. I had a lot of ideas for this year's, and maybe I'll post some of them as bonus ficlets through June, but for now, I say goodbye to May with John and Rosie.

--------

"Dad."

"Hmm?"

"Dad!"

John puts down the newspaper. Apparently this is a serious discussion. "Yes, love?"

Rosie throws herself into Sherlock's chair and contorts herself into a pretzel-like shape that can't be comfortable. "I'm...um..." It's apparent she doesn't quite know how to phrase her issue, because she's unnaturally hesitant. Sherlock's influence has made her shockingly blunt, while John's influence has made her shockingly foul-mouthed. Arguing with her is a joy. But now, very untypically, she looks confused and a bit lost.

"Ro, whatever it is, you can tell me," John says, leaning forward, a bit worried now.

"It's..." She sighs, looks down at her hands. "It's a bit personal?"

"Oh my god you're pregnant!" John blurts out, his momentary fear overriding his usually good brain-mouth-filter.

"Dad, what the actual fuck! I'm not fucking pregnant!" Rosie rolls her eyes so hard John wonders if she sprained something. "You know I'm on birth control. You went with me to get my first prescription, for fuck's sake."

"Accidents happen, my dear," John says, gesturing at his lovely daughter, who, light of his life, and joy of his world as she may be, was also very much an unplanned pregnancy.

"Fair enough," Rosie admits, deflating a bit. "Still."

"It wasn't a completely unreasonable assumption. You have a boyfriend, you're twenty, I'm assuming you're having sex."

"Please, dad!" Rosie exclaims, the tips of her ears turning red. "I really don't want to talk about my sex life."

"You think I do?"

Rosie makes a very Sherlock-like  'never mind all that nonsense now' gesture. "Anyway," she says, giving John a glare that tells him to shut up until she's finished. "It's actually kind of about Mark."

John nods, to let her know he's listening, but carefully and deliberately keeps his mouth shut, even as he's thinking, If he hurt you, I'll kill him so fucking dead so quickly he'll never know what hit him.

"It's... you know... he's... well, he's a boy," Rosie finally gets out.

John blinks a few times. Waits a bit. When it's clear Rosie won't be any more forthcoming about the issue, he dares to ask, "And?"

She looks down at her hands, studying them with unwarranted fascination. "I'm..." She sighs. "When did you know you were bisexual?"

John exhales audibly. Now he knows what this is about. In a family of mostly queer people, Rosie seems to have assumed she'd be some kind of queer as well. And if anyone knows how complicated identity can be, especially if it's weighed down by expectation, it's John. "Um. Quite honestly, I'm not sure I am."

Rosie looks up, surprised. "I mean. Mum. And Paps. Um. You know..." she makes a 'please fill in the gaps yourself' gesture.

"Look," John says, leaning forward and taking his daughter's hands. "I personally think labels are vastly overrated. If a word, or a label, or a phrase, helps you to better understand yourself, that's great. Use that label as long as it serves you, and if it doesn't anymore, use another one. As for me, I was raised in an environment where being different was bad. What kind of different you were exactly was completely beside the point. And I saw first-hand how the world treated your aunt, so I thought, best not think about it. I wasn't that attracted to men, it wasn't difficult to ignore. Until I met Paps, and you know how difficult he is to ignore."

Rosie grins. "Oh, yeah. So Paps made you bi?"

"No, you know it doesn't work like that. He made me... " John answers, smiling fondly at the memory. "Well, quite simply, he made me fall in love. He was—still is, of course—the most intriguing, gorgeous, infuriating, exasperating, fascinating person I've ever met, and I fell in love with him so hard, and so fast. But I wasn't ready, and he wasn't ready, and it took us years to get our acts together. And part of that was that we both couldn't accept a fundamental truth: The heart wants what the heart wants. Fighting against it only brings misery and destruction." He squeezes Rosie's hands. "So. Do you love Mark?"

She nods, her eyes shining with the truth of it.

"Is he good to you? Good for you?"

She nods again.

"Then who the fuck cares about anything else?"

Rosie's silent for a bit, apparently mulling over his words, still holding on to his hands. "So," she finally says, looking up from her joint hands with a smile. "You'll love me even if I'm straight?"

"Well, love, I suppose I can overlook this glaring character flaw. Also, you might meet a stunning lesbian when you're forty and she'll rock your entire world and turn everything you thought you knew about yourself upside down. And I want you to remember," he says, leaning in a bit more, looking deeply into her eyes, "I'm fine with everything, as long as you give me some grandkids first."

Rosie laughs and pushes him away. "Fuck off."

John gets up and makes his way to the kitchen. "So, sexual identity crisis over? You want to have some tea now?"

"Of course I want tea. But what you're saying, if I understand you correctly, is not to assume I'm straight just because I fell in love with a man?"

"I'm saying," John says, flicking the kettle on, "is that it doesn't matter, love. Gay, straight, pan, bi, ace, all these labels are useful if they help you understand yourself. But if you feel boxed in by a label, don't use it. Use another one. Use none at all. Let nothing ever keep you from knowing and understanding your own heart. That's the only thing that matters. I might be bi, who knows. The important thing is that I love Sherlock with all my heart, and that I made a commitment to him. Everything else is just noise."

Rosie is quiet for a bit, looking thoughtfully at the fire crackling cherrily in the hearth of 221B. "You're getting soft in your old age, Dad," she finally says, with a grateful smile.

John hands her a mug, drops a kiss on her head. "Love you too, dear," he says, smiling into her hair.

----

Don't forget that I'm collecting these ficlets here on AO3, and don't forget to check out the wonderful collection of May prompt ficlets as well. I know I'm already looking forward to reading all of them again.

Tags under the cut as usual.

@calaisreno @totallysilvergirl @jrow @peanitbear @jolieblack @meetinginsamarra @helloliriels @keirgreeneyes @lisbeth-kk @friday411 @givemesherbet-blog-blog @weeesi @thalialunacy @thegildedbee @dapetty @salmonsown

구름-clouds

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

cloud watching

member: Yunho

pairing: fem!reader x yunho

type: imagine (fluff)

warnings: none

summary: Yunho surprised you with a cute picnic and you two have lots of fun together >.<

a/n: i actually wanted to do another member but forgot so now i posted Yunho two times in a row but anyways i hope you enjoy :3 feel free to leave feedback or requests!

here's my masterlist!

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

the sun was shining brightly over Seoul, casting a warm glow on the bustling city. birds chirped melodiously as a gentle breeze rustled the leaves. it was the perfect day for an outing, and Yunho had planned a surprise picnic for you. you had no idea what he had in store, but knowing Yunho, it was bound to be something special.

you stood in front of the Ateez dorm, waiting for Yunho to come down. your heart raced with anticipation. moments later, the door opened, and Yunho stepped out, his smile as radiant as the sun itself.

"y/n!" he called out, waving enthusiastically. "are you ready?"

you smiled back, nodding eagerly. "of course! where are we going tho?"

Yunho's eyes sparkled with excitement. "you'll see. it's a surprise!"

he led you to his car, and soon you were driving through the scenic streets of Seoul. after a short ride, you arrived at a picturesque park on the outskirts of the city. the park was lush with greenery, and the air was filled with the sweet scent of blooming flowers.

Yunho grabbed a large picnic basket from the trunk and took your hand. "come on, y/n. I found the perfect spot."

he led you to a secluded area near a tranquil lake. the spot was perfect—shaded by tall trees, with a soft blanket of grass underfoot. Yunho spread out a checkered picnic blanket and began unpacking the basket.

"I hope you're hungry," he said with a grin, pulling out an assortment of delicious treats. There were sandwiches, fresh fruit, pastries, and even a bottle of sparkling water.

"wow, Yunho, you really went all out," you said, impressed.

"only the best for you," he replied, handing you a sandwich. "I wanted today to be special."

you both sat down and began eating, the conversation flowing effortlessly. Yunho's laughter was infectious, and you found yourself laughing along with him, your worries melting away.

as you finished your meal, Yunho pulled out a small speaker and played some soft music. the two of you lay down on the blanket, looking up at the sky. fluffy white clouds drifted lazily overhead, forming shapes that sparked your imagination.

"look! that one looks like a rabbit," Yunho pointed out, his arm stretched towards the sky.

you squinted, trying to see what he saw. "oh, I see it now! and that one looks like a dragon."

Yunho chuckled. "you're right."

you turned your head to look at him, your heart swelling with affection. Yunho's face was lit up with joy, his eyes reflecting the clear blue sky. you felt a wave of gratitude for this moment, for him.

"Yunho," you said softly, "thank you for today. this is perfect."

he turned to you, his expression tender. "anything for you, y/n. I love spending time with you."

you felt a blush rise to your cheeks. "I love spending time with you too, Yunho."

he reached out and took your hand, his thumb gently brushing against your skin. "let's make a promise," he said. "no matter how busy we get, let's always find time for moments like this."

you squeezed his hand, your heart full. "I promise."

you lay there in comfortable silence, watching the clouds and listening to the soothing music. the world seemed to fade away, leaving just the two of you in your own little paradise.

after a while, Yunho sat up and rummaged through the picnic basket. "I have one more surprise for you," he said with a mischievous grin.

you raised an eyebrow, curious. "what is it?"

he pulled out a small, beautifully wrapped box and handed it to you. "open it."

you carefully unwrapped the box, your excitement growing. inside was a delicate silver necklace with a small heart-shaped pendant. it was simple yet elegant, and it took your breath away.

"Yunho, it's beautiful," you said, your voice filled with emotion.

he smiled warmly. "I'm glad you like it. I saw it and thought of you. I wanted you to have something to remember today by."

you leaned over and kissed his cheek. "thank you, Yunho. I'll cherish it always."

he helped you put on the necklace, his fingers gentle against your skin. as he clasped it, he whispered, "you look perfect."

you blushed, feeling a rush of warmth. "so do you."

the rest of the afternoon was spent in blissful contentment. you and Yunho talked, laughed, and even played a few games. time seemed to stand still as you enjoyed each other's company.

as the sun began to set, casting a golden glow over the park, you packed up the picnic. Yunho took your hand, and you walked back to the car, the day's memories etched in your hearts.

driving back to the dorm, you felt a sense of peace and happiness. Yunho had made today unforgettable, and you knew that no matter what the future held, you would always have this perfect picnic to look back on.

as you arrived at the dorm, Yunho walked you to the door. He pulled you into a warm embrace, his arms wrapped securely around you.

"thank you for today, y/n," he said softly. "I had the best time."

you hugged him back, your heart full of love. "thank you, Yunho. today was amazing because of you."

he pulled back slightly, looking into your eyes. "let's do this again soon, okay?"

you nodded, smiling. "absolutely. I wouldn't miss it for the world."

with a final hug and a sweet kiss on the cheek, you both walked inside, immediately being met by the loud noises of the other members. you walk into your room, wanting to change into more comfy clothes. as you undressed you felt the necklace dangle down your neck. you touched the necklace around your neck, a smile playing on your lips.

today had been perfect, and you couldn't wait for the many more perfect days to come with Yunho by your side.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

heylooo maggots *waves*

may's nearly over and because of a lot of chaotic things, i never did manage to make a post properly thanking you all for everything you did for my birthday on 7th. but here i am and so i wanna say thank you so much. you all did so much for me, wishing me and sending me cards and making me a playlist and writing fanfiction and making art and just sending so much love that it made it the best birthday i've ever had in my life, during one of the most turbulent times of my life.

here's a secret i didn't tell you that day. some of you may remember back when i was debating whether or not i wanted to go to college, even though i'd got in a good one. well, i did decide to, but then they were really horrid to my mum about a scholarship and so instead of design i applied to a different art school instead and i did get in. but by then i was so exhausted, of choices being taken away from me and of the messiness in my irl family and needing to move house but not being able to and queerphobia everywhere. anyway.

my mum had taken me for a drive, that evening, with my doggy, roxie. and we were discussing all of this and god i was so tired and miserable and so when we got out of the car back home i just burst into tears and i was sick and then i just sort of. sat down. right there on the road.

and i didn't know how to get up. i was so fucking tired of everything and i couldn't make myself get up, and i don't know how long i would have sat there, stressing my mum and roxie out, if i hadn't remembered you all.

and i remembered that you'd done so much and you were waiting for me to get upstairs and talk to you and you'd worry if i were late and i could cut my cake with you, like i wanted to, and you would make me laugh and cry and smile.

and that's the only reason i was able to get up, and get back home. and the rest of the night was beautiful, because i spent it with you.

so... so thank you. so, so much. you've saved my life so many times and changed it in so many ways. whether i've interacted with you personally or not. the fact that i know you're all there, it keeps me going, and you gave me a family.

i love you i love you i love you so fucking much.

i love you. you are so fucking loved. i can't even begin to put it into words.

the world's pretty shite at times but maybe we get through it together it'll be survivable and it might even be fun, sometimes.

have the loveliest of days, maggots.

-asmi

AITA for having a daddy kink?

I (32M) have been with my bf, T (45M) for a few months now, and besides the first date (if you remember my post about that, I'm so sorry for the secondhand embarrassment I caused everyone) everything is going really well! Or at least I thought so.

Last week, my boss (who's kind of like the dad I never had) (he's also my bf's old boss but that's not really relevant) was in the hospital after a cartel burned down his house. He's fine now. Made a full recovery. But T and I met up at my place after I left the hospital so we could have dinner. I finally made this new lasagna recipe just right after trying to figure it out for WEEKS and it was delicious.

We were talking about things while we ate, like we've done on all of our dates, and we started talking about my boss in the hospital. T even asked if I was okay, which is a little weird because I'm not the one who was in a fire or the emergency room, but it was sweet. He's really sweet. He's always checking in to make sure I'm okay and he's not doing anything that makes me uncomfortable, and that's really new, but good! Anyway, talking about my boss (and how he's kinda my dad) made T bring up his rough relationship with his own father, and one of his other old bosses, and I could tell it was a little uncomfortable.

Who likes to talk about their strained relationships with family? I know I don't. I always try to change the subject when anyone tries to talk about my parents with me. So I did that.

All I did was joke that we both have daddy issues - because we do, no matter what he says about it - and it's so easy to just talk to him, you know? So maybe I was a little flirty. Okay, I was a lot flirty, but I just wanted to make him smile because I don't like seeing the people I love upset. And maybe that fed into some innuendos. And maybe we kind of came to the conclusion that I really like calling him "daddy" in bed. I had a really good night after dinner. It was great.

And it was all great. This is the happiest I've been in a really long time. I don't think I've ever been this happy in a relationship, actually. It feels so light and easy and like he actually likes me, not some idea of me or the potential I have to be something else? That's something I'll unpack with my therapist later. Don't worry about it.

Anyway, things were great until I talked about it with my best friend, E (32M) - and I'm trying to take what he's said with a grain of salt, because he's going through a lot of major changes in his life right now, and he probably just wanted me to stop talking about my sex life, but still...

He said that because T made the comment while we were talking about our boss being in the hospital, he was just taking advantage of my childhood trauma to try out a kink. Because we were talking about something pretty serious, he never should have turned things in that direction - flirty and sexual - while I was worried and stressed, and he was totally brushing off how I was feeling in the moment. I thought it was fine in the moment, even fun, but E has known me for the last 6 years and has watched me get into and out of relationships that weren't always good for me, and now I'm worried that he's right and it's happening again. I really trust his opinion and I know he just wants to look out for me.

I guess I just don't know how to feel. I really like T, and he hasn't done anything to hurt me, and I'm happy. But E does see things from a different angle, maybe less biased than I do because I'm in the middle of it. I don't know who to trust more right now. I thought I was the one who made the conversation flirty and brought up the daddy issues to lighten the mood and make us smile more, but is my best friend right? Is T brushing off my feelings and sexualizing our relationship? Or is E just overly protective because I've been hurt in the past?

I guess this isn't really an AITA - Is He (T) The Asshole (IHTA) for joking about my daddy issues hopefully giving me a daddy kink, too, in the middle of a dinner date?

luxurious fragrance ideas to manifest (tried n tested!)

❀ 🪷 ུ these are a few fragrances that i tried and then end up adoring them. i thought i would make a fun little post to give you suggestions if you need something specific to manifest!

𓇼  st barts by ouai

my favourite summer scent but it works if you live in humid countries. honestly my holy grail, there's something about this scent that gives me a tropical holiday vibes. i swear to god you would literally smell like you got money, but it's not a boring fragrance! not sure to describe but you can pick up a light hint of coconut and fruity scent. i dont think ouai released a perfume (they really should) but so far there's a body scrub, body cream (my favourite), shower gel, and body/hair mist. highly recommend this if you want to smell like the hamptons (i know it's specific).

𓇼  allegra baciami by bvlgari

another top favourite, this is actually my signature scent (i dont gate keep) and i have a lot of fragrances so yeah! i was on a search for good vanilla perfumes and where im from, people don't really like sweet fragrances since the weather here is usually hot. i really hate floral scents so i tend to stay away from popular perfumes like gucci blooms. anyways, i smelled allegra baciami in store and was blown away! it smelled like vanilla but i could pick up hints of coconut, amber and musk. the scent overall has depth to it and you just straight up smell like luxurious vanilla when the perfume dries up. i need to try their lotion next though.

𓇼  eau de rhubarbe écarlate by hermes

this one is more of a fruity scent but i wouldn't classify it on the sweet zone. it's definitely very fresh and you can smell a bit of berries, i would considered this scent as gender neutral (i mean men can use women perfume too if they like). it reminds me of red wine and a dance into your local jazz club. i would definitely recommend this fragrance for someone who is more into neutral scents, or they just don't like anything sweet or floral.

𓇼  j'adore eau de parfum by dior

a classic scent and you've been probably heard of this if you're really into fragrances. this used to be an everyday scent for school because i feel like it fits any occasions. initially when you spray it on your skin, you can smell a little bit of vanilla but a slight floral scent too. like i said, i hate floral but i love this one bc the floral notes isn't too overpowering. when the wind blows, the caramel and amber notes just blossoms in your nose. i think this specific version of j'adore is more bright and lively, just a very young scent!

❀ 🪷 ུ okay that's enough rambling from me but if you're looking for rlly good fragrances, girl i got u!! hope u found smth u liked from my list, im a little biased bc i love sweet scents, rlly sorry if you're a floral girlie.

The Full Moon ep is finally here! Warning, this post has a ton of spoilers.

I think it may be the best episode of the second season. Though i feel like its still nowhere near as good as ep 6 and 7 of the first one. I like the starting song, the contrast is good and the emotions of characters are clear. Its also a nice set up.

I especially love how everyone interacts with each other in this episode. Moxxie and Blitz seem like friends and their talk about sex is hilarious cause of Moxxies attitude. "Fuck him good, sir " was a brilliant line only because he was the one to say it. He seems too proper for this, maybe too shy. Blitzos good mood and his cackle after teasing Mox was also good to hear. Maybe cause he wasnt offensive this time. Anyway it just brought a lot of joy since its quite some time since they had a moment like this.

Then we have Blitz and his shopping trip. I liked when he went to buy candles. I think it has really shown that for Blitz sex isnt and probably never was about intimacy. He understands mood just as "horny" and honestly its very fitting. Though its not shocking i heve never thought about it . We know he is afraid of intimacy, but i thought about it strictly as an emotional closeness. I didnt think that sex could be so... one-dimensional for him in general.

Next we have cherubs. Tbh i didnt like this part mostly cause i dont think like it changed anything. If they were killed, well that would be awesome especially since i see no reason why it didnt happen already. They had been beaten and yet the I.M.P. has just send them back. Makes no sense, they are assasins and the cherubs are their enemies. Unless cherubs cant be killed without blessed weapons then well its somewhat fine. But still nothing they did was interesting or suprising. It feels like they were there to fill half of the time so the ep wouldnt be too short. Unless its more of a set up. But if so it still was somewhat weak. Maybe as i was so interested in Stolitz i just didnt have enough patience to care about cherubs. The fight was fun though, as was their reaction to Blitzos shopping. I am glad the I.M.P. got a chance to shine too. Especially Moxxie and his bitch line.

So now one last thing left. The ending. Obviously the best part. I loved how confused was Blitz and honestly i think his anger was understandable. After all he had no idea how Stolas felt and how he planned to end their arrangment. Blitz was both vulnerable and safe thanks to their deal, he was in a position of a "plaything" but also didnt have to be emotionally invested. He clearly hates himself, is insecure and generally cant imagine someone truly wanting him. So its not suprising that he reacted the way he did. In a way Stolas once again was the one to decide everything. He started the deal and then ended it. Without talking with Blitz. And to be clear, i dont think its fair to really blame Stolas. He tried his best. But well, they both lack the understanding. Stolas isnt aware that Blitz didnt believe in his love because of his own self-hatred. He now believes that Blitz simply hates Stolas. And Blitz really didnt have time to comprehend anything that happened so he acted harshly and in the end didnt even get the chance to apologise. I would like to also say sth about music in this scene. The fact that it was very emotional right from the beginnig even when Blitz was still in horny mood, it just selled it. It felt like real life when sth is wrong, but u notice it a little too late and then u just kind of crumble, get down from your high way too quickly and get a whiplash. It made it painfull to watch. I didnt cry though i heard many people did.

Anyway i am rather excited to see what will happen next and i really hope the episodes will hold some standard. Cause boy, the second season failed me a little to often.

Thanks for reading, hope u found sth interesting and sorry for any grammar mistakes and such.

Maybe An Important Post

If you're cosplaying in a public lobby on Regretevator, it makes people think it's free reign to give you unnecessary attention (throw roses, hump you, etc). As an aroace person, it really fucking grosses me out and it makes me avoid playing public lobbies altogether.

I really don't like the normalization of this behavior towards cosplayers, in real life AND in virtual communities like Roblox, because kids can be cosplayers. If an adult is bothered by it, imagine what a kid (who potentially has no idea what's going on) thinks about it eventually.

Harassment towards cosplayers is a real thing that's happened in many communities; I can think of convention spaces being one particular place that it happens a lot. Remember the yaoi paddle? The way that cosplay is becoming more accessible through things like online dress-up makes virtual worlds and games where people can interact be another place where people can be harassed.

Take this as you will, but anyone telling me that it's "not a big deal" doesn't get it. I've seen many comments online making fun of people who make comments about humping in Roblox. My feelings are valid and if you don't like how I feel, that's fine. You don't need to understand.

It's not a thing that can ruin my entire day personally, but it is a really big bummer when I'm trying to enjoy the game I love with the community and all I get back is things I say no to and that I don't consent to, and people do it anyway.

I tell people no, and they hump and throw flowers anyway. Gross.

im confident enough to post FFAK, which has anal prolapse, but i dont post the true drama....... my opinions about manga. *dramatic music* sometimes i kinda want to do some reviews.. its mostly me complaining.. it makes me sound so bitter like "do you like anything kosmic!" and..yes ! i do!!! okay!! i like a lot of things. once in a while, i dip my toes into a popular series to try to see if we are a good fit. Series like: Beastars, Dorohedoro, Dungeon meshi,ect.. and i kind. well. I dont like any of them LMAO. I mean, Ok, i actually really was into Beastars for a time, but after the fight with the bear guy (its been a few years sorry) and that story arc concluded.. it just spiraled to laughable levels and did not recover. I was genuinely laughing at it at times bc it kind of felt like a desperate scramble with the like. loopholes and power upgrades.. But I was invested for a time, it had a charm to me! I also loved the art and im curious about the authors next series about santa (partly because i too, am writing a story about santa). Dorohedoro has a great visual style, fun characters, i enjoyed reading but it also kinda didnt ...land for me beyond that, which is a shame. I feel like it is a series that "should" have clicked with me. And its like, not offensive to me but.. I'll forget that ive read the whole thing. I like STUFF in it. but thats not enough for me anymore. If i had read it when i was younger tho, it might have been a diff story. idk. My most unpopular opinion of all is that... I hated Dungeon Meshi.. Sure its ..pretty! cute designs. but i found it SO painfully boring and it actually was a struggle to finish. in the end, it felt like a waste of time.. SHOCKING take i know. That is the darling of everyones heart and i like, understand WHY its popular. .. but for me, i was not fed by anything. i am unfed and starved and going to eat elsewhere oh, and i.. as a person who has read a lot of fighting mangas.. I have tried to read chainsaw man, but i dont know if I can. I did finish Fire Punch. I'm surprised to say: i kinda liked it but it took a long time to force myself to read thru it. I honestly hated many aspects of Fujimoto's storytelling/character acting that i didn't think my opinion on it would change, but I'm a little more open to it now. I dont think i could ever super be into it or whatever, but i did find genuine enjoyment in aspects of fire punch. I did not really like look back. I haven't read his other one shot(s)? Where am i going with all this..I guess im giving some unrequested reviews after all...oops... a lot of this is spurred by how houseki no kuni is one of my most fav series, not only visually/characters/story/ect.. but i cant lie.... the ending... was kind of a flop for me... gorgeous and poetic ig sure but.. AUGH! it isnt what i wanted. maybe it'll be one of those "it'll grow on me" endings but thats mostly me having to go thru the 5 stages of personal grief and gaslight myself into it, but as the like actual honest first-reaction feeling it kinda lost me. I think it did not work when i felt the confrontation btwn phos/cinnabar wasn't the one i wanted to see. i will say tho, while im dissapointed, its not like a DEEP one or anything. I know its a miracle to even get to an ending.. i guess my take away feeling from it was like "everything fit together too well, too planned" but didnt feel planned, emotionally. I wasn't sold on it. Anyway, im here to speak my truth and my hot takes which, i honestly dont even want to have that one about HnK but its the real feeling i have for it.. Once again Utena's ending just has made all these other issues i have with various stories more obvious LOL

RIGHT @littlemisscactus I CONQUERED microsoft paint. Go me. I'm only... 27 lmao.

Anyway... here's 'My Ship in 5 Minutes' for Steelweave Tav and Rolan! Excuse the atrocious fills. I started that way, realised there was a better way, and decided to proceed with the mess anyway lol. I think from this I'm seeing that I like to write characters who are both very intense about each other…

My personal opinion on Rolan and PDA (since it comes up a lot in this, and in Sharp Teeth!) is that he gets embarrassed about it in front of his siblings, but although he cares about maintaining a smart and competent Archmage image generally, he also doesn't really give a fuck about random people he doesn't know. They're a bit beneath his notice... so it's not his problem if they see Tav has her arm round him. (Ok, well, he might blush a bit if she kisses him romantically, but he adores her so who cares?). And for horny PDA... they're both so horny they basically forget anyone else exists.

Honestly, they're both quite similar people - determined, protective of each other, confident.... but Tav is more flexible and Rolan is more single-minded; Tav is more inclined to happiness and Rolan to stress. Tav's a bit better at picking up on when Rolan's dealing with something than vice versa, but she can't always tell exactly what the problem is!

And then needs structure/needs freedom: I think Tav discovers that she's better outside of the army, encountering lots of new challenges and making her own decisions. Meanwhile, Rolan does best once he's settled into the Tower and its routine.

Day-to-day, Rolan talks more - mostly about magic - and Tav listens and appreciates him. She does share herself, but she's less prone to long trains of thought and tends to the practical. (Did I mention she adores him too? And definitely listening to him talk about magic!) The one exception to this is in conflict/emotional difficulty, where Tav will usually be the first to express herself and open up a subject.

As for jealousy - well, I think they both know the other is their everything. But given Tav's the more gregarious and well-liked one, Rolan might have more cause to be jealous... but really, it just doesn't factor in for either of them.

I put them both tending a smidge towards co-dependent just because although on a practical level they can both function well, they're very dependent on each other for working through emotional stuff. Whilst Rolan loves Cal and Lia very much, he hates taking advice from them and generally, because of being their older brother, has avoided burdening them with his inner struggles. Similarly, Tav's closest friends scatter to the four winds post-game, so he is always her closest confidant. But they're happy like that.

OK, I think that's it! This was fun and got me thinking about a few different aspects of their relationship!

Helloo! I love ur fics sm u genuinely make my day better whenever u post. Ur such a talented writer and I can see how much work u put into ur writings and I admire u a lot. Ty for giving us some amazing art to read *chefs kiss* BUT ANYWAY enough of the sappy stuff lol I had a question abt König from ur series ‘Trapper Keeper’ and was wondering abt his past relationships or lack there of. Has he ever been intimate with another woman besides reader or were any of the women he has been with (if he has) were intimated by his size (also how big is he) and didn’t want to have sex?

Hi! Ahh thank you for saying so ☺️ you’re very sweet!

mildly NSFW and spoilers below for people who haven’t read yet ~

I’m not diving super deep into his social/sexual history in this story, but I HC König in his late thirties or early 40s. personally, I like him on the older end of that range, but I leave it vague so you can imagine what you like :3. probably some relationships here or there. he makes a comment about not meeting the right person when Hase asks if he has a spouse, so the assumption is he has never married.

It’s definitely possible his height and dick have intimidated partners in the past though 😭 and while he has learned to play nice through the years, his personality can come across as way too intense, so there’s that too

ive been trying to show that he’s definitely not some shy virgin, but it has been a while since he’s been with someone. Hase would assume that he’s probly only jerked off for the ~ two years he’s been at the cabin :( abusing his poor cock with his rough and calloused grip

He seems to know what he’s doing sexually but was rusty and anxious around her in the beginning [his hands shook the first time he undressed her when she was sick, when he touched her in the bath he was too rough/fast on her clit until she guided him] But now that he’s comfortable with her, he doesn’t want to take his hands off her. :3

He is not a sex god or something in this fic but is aware that he is bigger than average and doesn't want to break his toy before he's even gotten to play with it properly, y'know? That wouldn’t be fun for anyone. And the chase is half the fun, anyway….

But he is very eager and interested in making Hase pliant feel good! She is conflicted but internally admits to sort of liking it when he’s a little rough and scary, which :) suits König just fine :) because :) he does seem :) to have a teensy bit of sadistic streak in him…. :)

But really...it’s not his fault that Hase is so adorable when her big doe eyes are wide and full of tears, and she’s just looking up at him, willing and waiting for guidance 🥺 poor little thing...lost and confused. good thing König knows what she really needs 🐇💕

Fernando Alonso & His Relationship With Cards

I'm sure we're all familar with the cards on the back of Fernando's Vegas GP helmet by now, but did you know his relationship with cards goes a lot deeper?

I. Magic Tricks

You've probably seen or heard someone at least mention Fernando's propensity for card tricks. As far as I can tell he was doing them(publically) as far back as 2003 all the way to as recently as 2018. Even once performing a card trick, with a condom and a teddy bear(!??!?!??!!), in front of Valentino Rossi who said "How was that possible?"(x)

But how did this start? According to James Allen, "Fernando admits to having been heavily influenced by his grandfather, a mercurial figure, who taught him magic and card tricks, still one of his passions away from the race track."(x) And I'm not sure the validity of this one, because I couldn't find an actual source, but apparently he once said: "My parents are responsible for the two things I like doing most - driving and magic tricks. They bought me my first go-kart and a magician's kit."

In several interviews he described it as his hobby off track, and that he loved learning new tricks and surprising others in the garage with them! So clearly cards are pretty important to him both as a hobby but also to who he is as a person since they've been with him just as long as racing has.

II. Card Symbolism in His Helmets

This is the reason I originally made this post, but I thought I should also explain the origins of his card fascination first. As I said, we probably all remember the cards on the back of his helmet in Vegas, but did you know that wasn't the first time he had cards on the back of his helmet?

From 2008-2013, he used to have a pair of cards on the back of his helmets. The symbolisms of the cards themselves as well as the evolution of their design is really fascinating to me! Even more so with the recent development of the card choice in 2023.

Fernando said he wanted to reference his two titles in some way on the back of his helmet and after his friend sent him several ideas, he decided on having two cards(an ace of clubs and an ace of hearts, sometimes pictured with 05 and 06 on them as well), saying: "I picked the cloverleaf [the ace of clubs - Ed] to give me luck, but the only pity is that it doesn't have four leaves!"(X)

2008.

Here's the very first appearance of the cards! They're displayed flat, with the 05 and 06 clearly visible

2009.

Very similar to 2008, but with a slightly different design, and they're maybe a bit more straight with less shadow?

2010.

This is the first major change! I was sad they didn't have the years on them anymore, but then I realized they're sparkly to match with his signature lightning bolts on the top of the helmet!!

2011.

Honestly I'm still somewhat unsure if this is the actual 2011 helmet? It's pretty difficult to find clear photos of the back of helmets from older seasons. It's easiest to find them on replica sites or auction sites so I'm not 100%? But anyways, I like that this has the championship years on the underside of the cards

2012.

This is when I started getting weirdly emotional about the helmets. Do you see how they've progressed from being a centerpoint to being curled up and sad at the bottom of the helmet? Not listing the year anymore??

2013.

Same thoughts as 2012. And after this season, they cease to exist (just like his ferrari chair in the garage, WOAH CALLBACK), until cards make a reeappearance in his Vegas helmet, albeit in a different form

2013 Monaco(Honorable Mention):

For some reason 2013 helmets were easier to find proper pictures of, so I happened to witness this absolute beauty. The creativity of this helmet genuinely blows me away??? Wanting to keep the card motif, but making sure to incorporate it into the rest of the puzzle piece design?? Mwah! There was another special 2013 helmet but they didn't change the cards at all so I really applaud this one

2023 Las Vegas(The Return of The King):

The magnificent return! But look! The cards are different cards! Instead of being two aces, it's now an ace of hearts, a four of hearts(his driver number of course!) and, the, now iconic, representation of himself as a Joker. I literally could not believe my eyes when this helmet was released and I saw the Joker card, what a fucking silly old man....I really wonder if he felt nostalgic having cards on his helmet again or if he didn't think about it all and was just like, "ah cards because Vegas!!!"

III. Why Does This Matter?

*The rest of the post was factual, this is moreso my personal thoughts on the symbolism of the cards/designs

This post spawned from me recently watching the 2010 Bahrain gp and noticing "hey wait a minute...are those CARDS ON THE BACK OF HIS HELMET!?" It's a really tiny detail that's unfortunately covered up by the HANS device pretty much whenever he's wearing the helmet, so it's really difficult to spot! But I became fascinated with the fact that he had cards on his helmet before that recent helmet, and now here we are!

There's something to me about how the design of the cards evolves over the course of six seasons from the cards being front and center to being smaller, more folded up and closer to the bottom of the helmet. As I said, the 2012-2013 ones genuinely made me depressed because it feels, symbolically, like his hopes for getting another Ace are becoming more and more unlikely and falling away until they eventually fall falt and fade away entirely after 2013 and disappear for basically a decade.

But when they return? They're not the same cards! Instead of representing Fernando's championships, they now represent him as a person, displaying his driver number and his persona of being a Joker!! Though I do think it's interesting he happened to keep the Ace of Hearts, even though he talked more about the Ace of Clubs before. I'm not sure it's actually this deep in reality, but I like to think that it's him not letting his championships(and the lack thereof) define him, but rather letting who he is as a person shine and be the centerpoint instead! But on a sadder note, as @suzuki-ecstar said to me, maybe the Aces aren't there anymore because he's lost all hope for a chance at a third Ace entirely :(

I'm gonna keep on drawing as a read The Legend of Luke. It's been many years since I read it. The response to it has been beautiful and wonderful. You guys have been brightening my day and making me laugh. <3

Reading the second chapter where they conspire a false trial to remind Martin of all he's done for them and that he is allowed to go to a home he barely remembers... ugh. I was nearly weeping.

Also shout out to Trimp for her stellar descriptions of the characters. The ancient huge badger (Bella). The tiniest, frailest, oldest mouse she'd ever seen (Germaine) and Martin as "the sturdy beast with strong features and friendly tone" and that she liked all three of them immediately. I was cackling

I like to think that she immediately recognized a fellow northerner.

there's something about the way you are that makes me… ♪

more of my oc tervis (any pronouns), the creepiest most miserable little weirdo in town. which is saying something [id under cut]

/ ID: four digital drawings.

The first image is a series of drawings of Tervis on a paper-textured background. A heading at the top reads 'Tervis (Humble)'. One is a coloured headshot of Tervis looking to the left; they have a gaunt face, short receding hair, a scar bisecting their lip and right eyebrow, greyish skin, and are wearing a red shawl around their neck. An arrow pointing at their right eye reads 'one blue eye (mostly blind)'; another arrow pointing at their left eye reads 'one brown eye'. They have a serious, hostile expression. The second drawing is an uncoloured full-body sketch of Tervis. Next to this is the same drawing but coloured and with more polished lineart. Tervis is a thin, hunched figure wearing a long, dark brown robe, a greyish bag on their back, and a red shawl around their head and neck. They are barefoot, and are leaning on a walking staff with both hands. An arrow pointing to the walking staff reads 'needed for walking, useful for hitting'. Tied to the belt around their waist are several long scrolls of paper with writing on them. An arrow pointing to the scrolls reads ''blessings' they paste on infected houses'. Tervis is looking warily out at the viewer from beneath their eyebrows. An arrow pointing to their head reads 'scar from getting hit in the face with a brick (also knocked out a tooth)'. Alongside these drawings are a series of bullet points giving information about Tervis. These read:

   indeterminate age, indeterminate gender

   religious fanatic (unclear which religion)

   lives alone somewhere in the steppe

   dislikes everyone but is nicer to children than anyone else

   has every disease

The second image is a fake screenshot from the video game Pathologic. Tervis is looking out at the viewer; the background shows scenery from the steppe. The text on screen reads:

CHANGELING: I still don’t see what you could have done that would make you personally responsible for this plague. TERVIS: Responsible… no, not merely responsible! This is my plague, cast upon my head alone. I am the originator; my sin is at the root of all. I have ventured into the town. I have seen the canker there. No matter how many houses I bless, my sickness sinks deeper. The rotted limb is the death of the body… Surely you understand me. You are a healer, are you not? CHANGELING: What is it that you are asking me to do? TERVIS: Let me be the lamb, worker of miracles! My blood shall wet the earth, and bright flowers shall grow… My putrefaction will provide the soil within which new life will burgeon, pure and free of sin and decay. Let it be done. I am ready. My failing flesh is but little sacrifice; in death my weakness will be my strength. Soon these torments will be at an end.

Below are two dialogue options:

You’re insane!

What makes you so sure your death would solve anything?

The third image is a fake screenshot from the video game Pathologic 2. Tervis is looking out at the viewer, and has been painted in semi-realistic style. The text on screen reads:

Tervis: Why do you force me to live? Damn you! Your cure is poison to me. Now I shall never be blessed. You should have left me to bleed.

Below are three dialogue options:

Don’t be absurd. I wasn’t going to watch you die.

What makes you think you deserve suffering?

I wish I had.

At the bottom of the image is a line of dialogue which Tervis has just spoken:

The air is foul. There is rot in this place. The stench of corruption shall be – what was it? What was it? The stench of corruption shall be… swept aside…

The fourth image is a coloured scene depicting Tervis and Clara. They are central in the composition; around them is the steppe, which has been rendered in a loose, painterly style. Tervis is kneeling, their walking staff cast aside, and are reaching out their hands to Clara in a desperate, pleading gesture. They are crying, their face contorted in an expression of agonised ecstasy. Clara stands beside them, one hand reaching out, the other held above Tervis’s head as though about to touch their brow. She has a solemn, pained expression. Behind her head, a break in the dark clouds gives the impression that she is haloed by sunlight; rays of the same light fall onto Tervis, illuminating their face and red robe. End ID. /

Man, I still remember participating in one of the many jjba zines that I took part in and how my piece was placed as the first page (for the second time) and how one of my mutuals/artists that I’ve always admired, hit me with the “oh… you’re on the front page again… 😅…” like man, that kind of killed me lmfao. I never got over it like man, what was that about.

i love ryomina

no but seriously. even when i’m thinking about other things that captivate my interest, i find myself coming back to them and feeling like i fell down three whole flights of staircases every time i do. they are one of my favorite pairs in media and are very special to me.

it’s the way that ryoji and minato’s lives are inevitably intertwined with each other due to the circumstances 10 years ago on the moonlight bridge. without no minato, there is no ryoji. minato as he is today is because of ryoji. they have irreparably affected each other’s lives that you cannot discuss one without bringing up the other one.

ryoji mochizuki, who is death, pharos, thanatos, nyx avatar, the man of many names and identities, is the perfect summation of p3′s messages and themes.

minato arisato, the wildcard and protagonist, who has boundless kindness in his actions despite the unfortunate cards handed to him.

the two of them complement each other and tell a beautiful story from start to finish.

minato’s personas capture this perfectly. he awakens to orpheus, who’s flames burns bright, is snuffed out by thanatos during the encounter against the arcana magician. a visual precursor of the idea that ryoji stole from the life that minato could have had.

it’s the way that over the course of the game as minato interacts with pharos, talking throughout the dark hour, forging a bond that cannot be broken, that allows ryoji to exist. minato humanizes death.

november. the bells toll, calling the appriser. and yet, it’s peaceful... quiet, and full of life. ryoji, who breaks free from death’s chains, refusing his role, is given the chance to live for a month. to make the most of the humanity that minato has given him over those ten years. and what a life he lived. ryoji’s life is a reflection of what minato’s life could have been like in another universe.

it is the way the two of them are reflections of each other. ryoji with his hair down is just like minato. they are both stubbornly committed to choosing to be kind, to love life, yet are chained down by the cards the narrative dealt them with. they finish each other’s sentences, knowing each other intimately in a way no one else does.

how is that, a boy who lived for only one month, profoundly changes the course of the narrative? he is simultaneously relevant and irrelevant. blink, and you miss it, the beautiful life that he led.

ryoji is horrified at the revelations of being the appriser. he who so desperately wished to forget that his existence was meant to bring the end to all life, was unable to escape the inevitability of death. in a non-human way, of course. he becomes remorseful. a shadow of his brief time as a human who was enamored by the small beautiful things that life had to offer.

he is swallowed by grief. grief knowing that his very existence will take away not only minato’s life, but everyone else’s. the very thing that ryoji loved- life, fundamentally went against the role he was born for- to be the harbinger of death. and unable to grapple with this sadness he believes that the best thing for minato to do is to kill him, so that SEES can live in bliss not knowing about their inevitable end.

SEES is left rattled, calling into question what the meaning of life is and what they do when faced against the inevitability of death.

and!!! minato chooses!! for ryoji to live!! even in spite of what ryoji is MEANT to embody, minato still stubbornly chooses to defy death itself! and if that’s not cool i don’t know what is!! minato wants everyone to have the chance to live!!

so he climbs. he ascends tartarus, to meet ryoji, again, who is now the nyx avatar. and i just think there’s something so so beautiful about being able to use messiah, minato’s ultimate persona, against nyx avatar.

messiah, being the fusion of orpheus and thanatos is peak ryomina to me. because ryoji and minato have established an unbreakable bond from having been entwined for 10 years, minato still has a piece of death with him, and by proxy!! ryoji is able to defy and rebel against nyx trying to bring the fall! and i think that’s fucking cool shit if you ask me!

even when all of the arcanas have been gone through, it’s still not enough to stop the fall. and yet. minato knows. in the way that ryoji was sealed in minato 10 years ago by aigis... minato becomes the great seal so that everyone can live. it comes full circle.

march rolls around. he fulfills his promise to SEES on graduation day. minato dies from exhaustion. but goddamn does his sacrifice make me weep- he’s had such, such a tiring journey. he’s been through so many things because he was at the wrong place at the wrong time. but at the end of it all, he’s reunited with ryoji in death.

and i think this is why ryomina continues to evoke so much emotions for me, to this day. the relationship that they have embodies so much of persona 3′s messages and themes that it makes me feel like a microwave with nothing running in it.

p3′s message is very hopeful, for me. my favorite takeaway from it is that even if death is inevitable, appreciating the life that we were given and choosing to live as best as we can with kindness (even if we can’t feasibly do everything), is just? really nice? and you see this manifest in both ryoji and minato’s personalities and what they do for the other characters.

ryomina just feels so distinct to me, the flavor that their relationship ties back to my favorite takeaways from this game and im just!!  god!! i love you minato arisato! i love you ryoji mochizuki! im so glad that i could meet them! i’m happy that they changed my life! they made me want to appreciate the connections in life even if they were fleeting! they made me!! want to pay attention to the good moments in life and cherish them!

i love ryomina so much!!! i’m so glad that these two could bring so much joy into my life! and i hope that others can have this joy too! 💛💙