#Fumi rambles
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Falin who cares too much and too little - analysis
Been stewing on Falin thoughts for a while, I know I have an interpetation on her that differs from many but I’m jumping into the fray. I think there’s a lot to be said about what we do see of Falin.
This shorter Falin analysis I made is pretty much essential prior reading. This analysis mainly explores her complex relationship with caring and so it’s sort of structured in two halves, with Faligon at the crux of it all.
Falin cares too little :
A lot of people assign Falin a people pleasing mindset and I… Don’t agree. We never see her care at all about people in her town or at the academy not liking her.
We do see her worrying about what people think of her… ONCE. And Laios comforted her, told her they didn’t matter and she should be proud of herself. She latched onto that hard. That’s why this scene was so important to be included during the dragon fight, relationship-defining; it’s always been them against the world. She grew to not care what others thought, to only focus on her close loved ones. No one else matters.
Laios’ words were her world. Her older brother who taught her how to feel comfortable with herself, who told her, you’re great, others are the ones in the wrong to not see that, I’ll always be with you, always be there for you. Older brother who always made great plans, who always knew more, who was better at wrestling to name the dogs, who she has always idolized.
Laios who always spoke of traveling the world, to which she always said she wanted to follow. And she would, she’d follow him even if it meant leaving the academy and all she knew behind, she’d follow him to the ends of the world, and that’s what she did.
She didn’t care about showing to her classes or keeping up such appearances, she doesn’t even think of toning down her jumping into bushes when Marcille recoils, etc. She acts like an obedient pawn often, to her parent’s directives and then following Laios around no matter what he decides to do, but I don’t think the motivation is people pleasing, rather it’s being with & caring for her loved ones, and her go-with-the-flow attitude enhances the impression. Not that it’s as simple as that, mind you, but let’s talk about this for now.
Falin is perceived as selfless because we, the audience, have our perspectives revolving around the main people in her life (Laios, Marcille). They’re the ones she’s devoted to and people who care about her back a lot too, but to people like her classmates or the towspeople she probably must have seemed like someone who didn’t care about the people around her or her surroundings a lot, who just went on alone and did her own thing.
What matters to Falin? From what place does her kindness come from? Is a part of her keeping up appearances?
And I think that’s the point, the horror of Faligon as well, that we can’t tell just how in control Falin the person is as the chimera (because we are shown that she’s in there, we just don’t know at what degree), that we don’t know her enough to be able to tell when she’s at her most genuine, her most raw. That even if you do settle on none of her being present as Faligon, we have to at least consider it, consider that she may be able to do something like this and have a part in it, brutal and uncaring. That even the lenses we see her through, the people who love her, may be unreliable.
And this is what’s very interesting about her too, she truly is so idealized by people around her as a saint. She’s so good and kind and caring to everyone etc etc etc. Laios, Toshiro and Marcille all see her as the paragon of goodness in the world. More cynical characters like Namari and Chilchuck have more layered opinions on her, the latter finding her somewhat unnerving because he can’t read her well. But then with that one flashback scene we see that… Her priorities are intensely focused on Laios and Marcille, she doesn’t care all that deeply about anyone other than them (+ maybe her parents). The rest of the party is in the same danger here but only Laios and Marcille who she’s speaking to get the special ,ention, and if they don’t cross her mind then of course she’d be ready to sacrifice strangers through a risky teleportation.
That doesn’t make her not kind or caring!! Just that greater good isn’t exactly her priority. Any means is alright if the end result is her loved ones safe, it usually takes the form of healing and caring, but we see she’s ready to fight and make dangerous calls too. To me there’s this aspect to her that she isn’t as pure and magnanimous as everyone thinks she is, both in-world and interestingly enough meta wise as well, and there’s something interesting to that.
People pleasing implies a need to be liked, needs for the motivation to be that. A yes-man, etc. But if we analyze Falin, her general kind, smiling demeanor is more a matter of passivity I yhonk. Conflict avoidance is easier, so she’s friendly and hopefully things’ll be smooth sailing. It’s easy to be kind to classmates even if they act wary and rude if you don’t care about what they think either way. Of course she prefers good things happening to people over bad things, she is genuinely kind, but I think people tend to assign her a very grand altruistic way of life when to her the motivation is pretty self-centered. She doesn’t do what she does because she loves them, but because she loves them.
One situation that’s interesting to dig into for her way of thinking, and what I’m trying to get at, is Shuro’s proposal to her. I’ve seen people saying she hesitated because she didn’t feel comfortable saying no even though she wanted to, "I can’t say no, I don’t want to hurt him", something that sounds sensible and familiar, but it’s actually canon in the Adventurer’s Bible that the reverse was the case, that she didn’t feel comfortable saying yes. Because the offer was tempting, but it’d have been a loveless agreement on her end.
And it makes sense she’d want to say yes too, like we see with the Toudens, marriage is very much a political strategical economical thing in their village, there’s even a bit on it on Laios’ Adventurer’s Bible profile about dowries, and both siblings were engaged very early. They lived poorly for a long time, it’s an enticing idea to marry rich, to have not only yours but your brother’s needs met forevermore easily, which at one point in their careers was their main worry and goal. Why shouldn’t she accept a life of leisure and wealth handed to her by a lovely friend?
So her hesitance was "yeah that’s convenient for me, but where it’s everything to him and heartfelt I’m able to be detached because I don’t care about it that much… Can I do that? I’m not reciprocating, not saying yes in the way that matters. Can I do that to him?"
Very caring even though it’s not what you’d expect, isn’t it?
And central to my analysis, where I’m going with this is, I feel like that’s the thing with her character, that she doesn’t feel as strongly as she "should" sometimes, or feels a different way than she "should", or at least that she feels that way and others say she does.
She didn’t mind suddenly leaving the academy, leaving Marcille behind and not seeing her for 4 years. She acted like it was no big deal that she sacrificed herself after getting resurrected after the red dragon fight. And in both those cases it upset the people around her greatly that she didn’t seem to get why it was such a big deal, didn’t seem to care about how they’d experienced her choices.
So it’s a tendency… And it’s not that she doesn’t care, it’s just that the way she measures what’s good for the ones she loves isn’t the same as what they themselves think it is (like Laios and Marcille not wanting to be apart from her). It’s an overt but quiet kind of care, it’s doing things like following them around and making sure they bathe and have a meal, even if that means she has to be dragged into misery too.
So yes she probably would know "not caring enough/the right way" is one of her perceived flaws, and that informs how she tries to handle her response to Shuro’s proposal. Her not wanting to accept like her first gut instinct, is because she’s thinking about reciprocity, about if it’d be right to go into this knowing that they have different priorities and she might not be able to keep up with the type and amount of emotions he wants/expects from her.
And that’s a big part of her character isn’t it, having expectations pushed onto her. Her trying her best, but in her own way that may seem odd or even unfeeling. Not unlike when she exorcised the ghost as a kid too, unblinking and matter-of-factly, and not seeming to understand why people stared the way they did.
Even though she answered his proposal only post-canon, she’d been pondering it for a while even pre-canon and the Adventurer’s Bible explanation was released midstory, so I’m hesitant to assign her much growth about her hesitation and what I went on above, since she still didn’t react "right" with Laios after the red dragon fight (even if she apparently doesn’t remember sacrificing herself) and put herself in that situation in the first place. She hasn’t finished her arc on that flaw of hers is what I’m saying, she for sure still has it, but I certainly think her thoughts on Shuro’s proposal shows awareness, both of herself and social.
And awareness is a big analysis key word with Falin, especially here it can be hard not to conflate not caring with not knowing. How socially aware is she?
It’s rather layered, because canonically she wasn’t aware of her ostracization in her hometown at all, and we’re not sure if she knew Shuro was interested in her before he proposed, but she generally seems more socially aware than Laios. She tags along on his caravan job to make sure he isn’t being mistreated (though doesn’t ask he get a salary), she catches social faux-pas more easily like in the genderbend magic mirror omake with Shuro, and interestingly enough she’s very good at empathizing with her parents and understanding their perspective. We see when she’s worried about Marcille coming that she does know about propriety and how appearances shape impressions. Being a chief’s daughter must at least have taught her a thing or two on that front.
She never stands up for herself, but when it comes to defending others she worries, strategizes and explains.
And this sort of understanding is part of why I think she’d notice the expectations pushed onto her like I was saying earlier, notice how she makes people feel when she’s careless. But if she changes anything about herself in response to noticing is for her to choose, and generally I think it’s a sort of inbetween of yes and no: that she becomes more complacent but also more reserved, complying but by hiding more of herself passively. She’s not sure wether to accept or reject Shuro’s proposal, doesn’t want to lead him on? She’ll just be taking a while to silently consider it, try to keep things as they are for the time being. The third, less conflicting option. She doesn’t feel heard by Marcille who keeps infantilizing her? Just bear with it. Retract yourself emotionally. Settle for it.
We see that when she was young she had a tendency to not read a room, and I think that’s here too. She doesn’t get why her nonchalance upset others but that doesn’t change that she doesn’t want them upset or hurt, so she tries, albeit in maybe a roundabout way. She always had a hard time deeply connecting with people, often keeping herself some amount of emotionally distant: erasing herself from the equation, from the two-way trade that relationships are and making it a onesided thing instead, where all their needs and emotions are directed towards her but she only lets out a bit of her own show. She takes everything upon her and deals with it and tries not to give others this same burden, though not on a conscious level, it’s just that she’s learned growing up that she doesn’t have much agency.
Like I went into with my analysis linked at the beginning, I think Falin is used to just taking what she can get and not asking for more, when it comes to social bonds.
She’ll take spending time with her mother no matter what it is they do, she’ll follow Laios to the graveyards and stick by him even when he’s pushing her away (because he doesn’t want her borrowing his book or "No copying!" or such). Her father was always distant, cold and uncommunicative, her mother was considered sick from anxiety and the exorcism attempts were the main way they spent time together, at dinner tables there were only her and Laios.
The dogs picked on her too even if she loved them— And so did the townspeople, maybe that being normal to her at home is why she didn’t notice the ostracization she suffered.
She’s always been the last to be asked about decisions or what she wants, never asked to play with at recess, neither her father or Laios asked before sending her to the academy or leaving the village.
At home, in the hierarchy she was considered to be below the dogs by the dogs themselves, as someone they can disrespect. Dogs learn from example and behavior, so this means Falin must have been pushed around a lot, and that the family didn’t try hard to rectify the dogs’ misconception, likely worsened by Laios regularly wrestling with her as a competition.
So for example when Falin showed Marcille food, it was her way to implicitly ask to have lunch with her without voicing that question, without daring to take up space. Someone’s presence isn’t something you ask for, it’s something that’s bestowed upon you, you can follow them around but you can’t ask them to stay or to come with.
She’s used to her needs and wants not being listened to, so she’s learned to have less wants. Caring less about herself, caring less about other people beyond her safe zone, was a defense mechanism in part.
She has a sense of learned helplessness too, like how when Marcille came to take her away from Laios, even though she didn’t want to leave with Marcille it felt so determined and unshakable to her that whatever Marcille decided Falin would have to comply with.
And still, it’s the "marrying you would be awfully convenient if it wasn’t that I’d feel guilty for not loving you back, the way you wanted me to when you proposed to me" and the "I don’t regret leaving the academy and leaving you behind without goodbyes but I’m sorry that you’re so much more upset about it than me". It’s the guilt of not loving people back the way they want to be, with the same intensity or fervor.
It’s the autism it’s the aroace of it all, it’s the emotional stunting and confusion but the pit in your stomach telling you you did something wrong again. The no object permanence even for people you love even for 4 years, it’s the feeling like you’re somehow at fault for someone having fallen for you and not knowing what to do with any of it.
I’m not joking btw it isn’t uncommon for autistic people to not see their close friends for a long while, not having missed them all that much and for that to be really hurtful for the other if they notice/ask about it. "Hiii bestie! Oh umm you’re uh more emotional about this than I expected, hopefully you won’t feel alienated by me not feeling as intensely about it…"
So… Yeah. I think she thinks of things and relationships in a different way than most people, and beyond "good things happening to people is good" I don’t think she actually cares about people all that much. I’d argue that Laios shows more desire to connect with others and make relationships. And just like with Laios and his own issues with humans, that doesn’t mean her kindness is a lie or ungenuine or worthless!
It just means that like, well it’s pretty straightforward really, she’s not all that social and doesn’t see casual bonds as meaning all that much and whatnot. She does want to see people happy, but it’s not as much like… A conviction or goal. She’s too laser focused on a select few people. "It’s not that they’re bad people, they just aren’t interested in humans."
And sometimes it feels like people get defensive about Falin in a meta way too, like if you ever so much as imply Marcille isn’t her whole world or that she isn’t the kindest soul out there then you’re saying she doesn’t care at all or she’s evil. And that’s actualy exactly the sort of vibe I wanted to get through with my analysis above here actually haha, that she does care and she is kind but it’s not in a way that’s quantified or understood in a way that makes people feel comfortable. In a way, that makes people feel insecure because they don’t have the same logic as her, don’t show love the same.
And I think this is another stellar depiction of autism, of parts of it that feels unpalatable to many, if I’m making sense. The fandom idealizes her as well, which isn’t uncommon or surprising for the character embodying the trope of the perfect beloved to rescue.
And disclaimer, as I said in the tags I feel like the details of Falin are pretty vibe based when it comes to analysis, there’s absolutely a valid angle where she does super care about everyone always, feel free to disagree with me on the overarching angle of my analysis. There’s enough supporting evidence to tip the balance either way I think, and the reason I’ve chosen this angle is I feel it’s more compelling for the themes in Dunmeshi of idealization and being different, of desires vs wants, and because I think it neatly ties up Falin’s character arc as I’ll go over throughout the next section…
So.
Not feeling as much as she should. And……. Is this not Faligon pushed to the max?
You can’t tie down a dragon. As the chimera, she gets to just not care about everyone else and be on her merry way.
Part of it I think is finding comfort and freedom in the mindlessness, in not having the burden of feelings and connections and a consciousness (despite still ending up seeking those in a stranger, Thistle).
Like when she’s dead in the purgatory as well, she gets to just… Hang around and do whatever. Similarly to when she played in the forest instead of going to class in her academy days. That’s what freedom and peace of mind looks like to her. Why she decides to roam post-canon, if only now with the goal to find herself instead, with her mind in tow and somewhere to go back home to.
There’s excellent analytic framing out there about how of course, Dungeon Meshi has a big theme of grief and letting go, and… Falin was always a symbol narratively, idealized by characters and often underconsidered by them despite their love. It was Falin’s choice to sacrifice herself for Laios, she thought it was worth it, knowing that it would be her end. Her resurrection and the process of it intertwining her soul with a dragon’s wasn’t done with her consent, and the subsequent opening it gave her to become a chimera puppet. She’s stripped of her agency consistently, and so… It’s very noteworthy that the final choice, of wether to go back to life or to stay dead, in that purgatory scene, was up to her. And she chooses life, but I do think about her in those fields and how at home she seemed there. Peaceful, by herself in a vast calm expanse she could explore, free.
Personally, I think freedom is Falin’s own subconscious selfish desire. And though to us becoming the chimera is obviously a shackle, I think it felt like freedom to her somewhat, too.
And if you think I’m going wildly off the rails here I want to talk about Laios’ wish of becoming a monster.
And to be clear before getting into it, being mentally a monster is absolutely a big part of the appeal for Laios, it’s something that’s consistently referred to, something especially pointed out in the werewolf monster tidbit with Lycion. Right panel is from that, but left panel is from the extra with Izutsumi where Lycion talks about suppressing souls in a beastkin body, the human or the beast soul.
Finding comfort and freedom in being mindless, less sentient, less aware? While being unaware in her hometown might have saved Falin a lot of heartache although perhaps stunted her emotional growth, it’s always been Laios’ curse.
Actively, through his choices, he seeks to grow closer to people, to form deeper bonds, to understand and be undertood, but… On a deep seated level, what he desires is to leave humanity and civilization behind. He has an irrational hatred for humans, born from the trauma of ostracization, being different, being beaten up and rejected consistently through his life. Running away from problems is easier. He wants to be free from being a social animal from a social species who has deemed him the black sheep, he thinks it’d be simpler to just leave it all behind, people and his own humanity.
At its core, to Laios becoming a monster is a power fantasy, a coping daydream of "if only I could be strong enough to never be hurt again, the power to destroy anything I want, the power to go somewhere better, if only it was possible for me to never feel hurt again. If only I could be someone, something, that can never be hurt". "If there’s someone you don’t like, you can gobble ‘em up in one bite. If you could fly, you’d be able to leave this village right now." It’s a childhood fantasy, from a deep sense of being misplaced and a desire to be able to stand fearless, thinly covering up resentment that Laios represses.
But you’ll notice, when the Winged Lion is enticing him in the last page, even now with his lifelong wish of becoming a monster on a silver plate, he still cares about his friends. He still has that sense of responsibility to his friends, doesn’t want to leave knowing they’ll be in danger and alone. The offer that his friends may be left unharmed is already good, but Laios also visibly flinches when the Winged Lion offers to specifically care after Marcille and rid her of her biggest fear. Laios’ care runs that deep. Not unlike with the succubus, he resists temptation until he gets reassured that everyone will be okay. But see, what he desires isn’t to stand alongside Marcille until her last days, it isn’t to stay and see how well his friends will live, it’s to go. It’s to leave. It’s to fly away, a monster both in body and mind. He wants to be free from caring here, wants to not have to worry about his friends, wants to just go do his own thing, but for that he needs to feel safe in the belief that said friends will be safe even without him being there to see it, because despite everything else he cares, he does. It’s again that dichotomy about caring and wishing you didn’t, or not caring and wishing you did.
In the end, it’s Falin who achieves that wish. Both by becoming a chimera during canon, and by going traveling post-canon. In the latter, being both free of human relationships as something chaining you while still being uplifted by them, by the knowledge that there are people out there you love and that love you.
It’s a theme that can also be connected with Marcille, because she gets anxious over people she loves getting out of her sight, worrying they’ll get themselves killed, that time is passing while they’re away from her.
But before she can get to the point where she can both have her freedom and being uplifted by her social bonds, regaining both her individuality and her connections, she has to get a taste of just one at a time. Before they can find balance in her life, she has to see what it’s like to have what she’s never had on its own. Unapologetic freedom, and power.
No one can blame you for not caring enough or caring right if you’re a fricking dragon!!!! You make the rules when you’re a beast and you can just… Fly away. From anywhere, from anything. And if a dog bites you you can just crush it. Instead of being pushed around by the dogs because you’re at the bottom of the hierarchy, you’re now at the top, the one with the power to be heard and do what you want without consequences.
I think she’s on autopilot. I think she’s on autopilot a lot of the time, even before being a chimera, and it’s partly why her will is so weak compared to regular dragons. (Again, read my shorter analysis.) It’s familiar to slip back into the role of following someone around unquestioningly. And that’s what is weaponized when she’s a chimera, that instinct she’s been nursing all her life to unconditionally support, defend and follow someone.
Only now, that someone doesn’t matter in itself, only the symbol of it. She doesn’t mind, either way is fine. Her will is weak after all, because she’s trained it to take as little place as it could.
Falin cares too much
She spends all her time caring for Laios and Marcille alternating that none of her care and emotional energy is left for others, including herself. So she had to get relieved of all of that for a bit, becoming the chimera so she could reset and recenter and remember that she, too, indeed, is there and an important part of her own life.
So you’re probably seeing the duality I’m talking about here, Falin is very self-sacrificial but for specific people in ways that they often don’t recognize or appreciate. She cares but selectively, both in people, putting all her eggs in the same baskets, and in the ways she cares after them. She doesn’t care a lot, but when she does she cares a lot. Falin doesn't have a lot of earthly attachments, but when she does, they're her world.
In canon her arc, especially post-canon, is to grow beyond Marcille and Laios. Her caring for her close loved ones held her back from looking after her own self-fulfillment needs. And this is what I mean when I say she cares too much; she could gain from caring more about the world besides Laios and Marcille, both lands wise and people wise. She cares too little, but her arc centers her flaw around caring too much instead.
Her pitfalls that Kui highlight over the course of the story, while of course her selflessness is appreciated for how she saved Laios and everyone, on a personal level is shown to be self-effacing and damaging. She’s undermined by Marcille, without the courage to voice her thoughts and wants, she would dedicate her whole life to Laios. And I mean, it’s text, in the response to Shuro’s proposal extra no less. And she’s so laser focused on her most loved people that she’s fine with being callous and risking others’ lives, even.
Post-canon, she needs to leave to find herself, away from them.
Herself. What if she wants to just be with herself for a while.
And this is me reaching but I feel like, not unlike Izutsumi who learns to feel this sense of never being alone, always having someone on your side what with having two souls, the dragon in her would make her consider herself more. She finds it easier to care after other people after all, and in the purgatory fields sequence she takes care to bring the bit of dragon left with her… Not unlike with Izutsumi, having two souls forces you to think about your identity and figure yourself out.
Besides being this sort of duo now, where if she wants to care after herself she can channel it to that other side of her too… In meta dragons are symbols of greed, and I think the bit of dragon would push her to want more and listen more to her desires, primal and self-serving as they might be. The dragon soul which warped her human body with feathers and draconic features, her image of perfection marred, her weirdness externalized in a way that’s not palatable. But she doesn’t care, about if her appearance is palatable for most people, she hasn’t for a while now, and that’s great.
Notes & nuance
I’m struggling with the structure of this post, making my points organized, concise and strong at once. It’s difficult to make any statement without going "things are generally like this, but there’s this time that this contradicting thing happened too" or "it’s ambiguous enough that you should just follow my interpretation for the time of this analysis" haha, so this is the pit where I put all the stuff that wouldn’t fit well in other places but are interesting for Falin’s character. This section is pretty separate from the main thesis of the post, it’s just more Falin observations.
The post has reached the 30 pics limit so I can’t just pull it up whenever it’s relevant but I really encourage scrolling up to read the stuff I highlighted in her Adventurer’s Bible profile if you haven’t already.
I think with the shy-looking loner type autistic kid archetype, and knowing she didn’t seem to mind others ostracizing her, it’s easy to lose sight of how she was by no means an unemotional child. In all the bits we see of her as a kid she’s bursting with energy and emotions. Canon confirms Laios leaving the village did affect her and make her lonely and she cried a lot, too.
She may not be social in the traditional sense, but she was clingy with her brother, and she also never was all that shy about who she was, wearing her heart on her sleeve.And okay. Okay okay okay. Speaking of appearances. About what I said of her not caring about what people think of her, even seeming defiant with the caravan leader… There’s one istanxe of her caring actually, and it’s about how her face blushes easily. I remembered it as being because Laios’ said it and as I rambled Laios’ words are her world, but actually it’s ambiguous. It’s only Marcille imagining up this scenario where Laios says Falin looks weird because of it, there’s no evidence Laios said or thought that at any point. And on the other hand…
Her Adventurer’s Bible says: "5, Lovely Skin. She isn't particularly careful with it, but Falin's skin is fair and beautiful. Possibly as a result, her cheeks seem to flush easily. Marcille's always saying she's cute, and she secretly has a sizable complex about it."
The phrasing makes me think the complex she has over her blushing might have developed because of Marcille more than Laios. "Marcille's always saying she's cute, and she secretly has a sizable complex about it." It could be related to how Marcille gets swept away and infantilizes her, calling her cute wanting her to wear cute feminine outfits etc. Again this feels like it relates to Falin’s struggle to be seen for who she is and what she wants to be seen as, her struggle to be recognized, having ideals and perspectives pushed onto her. Here Falin is insecure over her blushing implicitly because she doesn’t like being called cute over it, but that’s not how she wants people to see her. She doesn’t want Marcille to always see her as her 10 years old adorable friend. Like if your friend said you had puppy energy, it can be flattering, but it can also make you insecure.
Here’s a link to what I mentioned about her being uncomfortable wearing feminine outfits. It does seem to be more about comfort than the aesthetic perse, to me. Interestingly the shirt & shorts don’t seem like they show much more skin than her beach outfit, so maybe it’s more about the shirt and shorts being tight-fitting. Like the skirts and heels they feel stifling. Again a bit with themes of freedom and not wanting an aesthetic pushed onto her.
So yes just to reiterate, I think this is more about self-affirmation and how her identity and self-image gets shown to others, rather than wishing to hide parts of her body like her blushing etc for people pleasing reasons. Makeup was a way for her to appear how she wants to and feel more confident. It was a way to take control over her own image.
She didn’t keep doing it, the narrator stating the process to be ‘troublesome’. Ultimately she still prioritizes her comfort, and it was a lot of recurring efforts to go through.
And on the topic of appearances… A friend once asked me: "Does she really hide herself or not? I keep thinking about "falin is herself first and foremost" (in her Adventurer’s Bible profile) it’s just so. Hmmmmmmmm... I just keep seeing people say she hides her real self from people when I feel like the issue is more about her charitable traits straying too far into becoming flaws but people around her dont realize that..."
Imo the thing is, I don’t think she hides her identity, but I do think she suppresses her individuality for others’ sakes if that makes sense. In the way that only post-canon does she allows herself to go see what the world is like, but that’s not personality wise it’s needs and wants wise.
And I do feel like that’s the closest interpretation of canon, she says it herself she doesn’t know what she wants because everything she’s done was always about Laios or Marcille, but she doesn’t change her demeanor or personality for others. But she *will*, like, not ask for things she wants directly, like sharing lunches with Marcille at the academy, she suppresses her wants, doesn’t ask things from people and doesn’t hope for more, hope for better. I don’t think we ever see her actively repress her personality, except like what, being more laidback than enthusiastic but I do feel like unlike Laios with her it’s less ‘appearing stoic to fit in more’ and more ‘yeah i’ll just chill until I’m needed or something activates my enthusiasm’.
To which said friend quoted: "to feel like you belong you need to be useful. when you can’t be useful the next best thing is being convenient."
And speaking of passivity… I want to speculate about Shuro’s proposal some more. Shuro and her got along well though we don’t know how much, or how often they hung out, she even saved him from a nightmare.
Why did she take so long answering Shuro’s proposal? Was it an effort to preserve or was she really just that conflicted? Procrastination probably yes, but what is the core motivation of itl Considering she ended up saying no to travel the world instead, I don’t think it was as simple as ‘she wanted to say yes for convenience’. Logically it’s what would have been best, but it’s not what she wanted for herself, but it was and still is hard for her to even know what she wants. Probably, since like she states it was a great offer and she doesn’t think she’ll get proposed to again, it’s that self-effacing tendency that yes it’d be convenient and logical, and that makes her want to say yes even if her spirit isn’t in it, because if it’s convenient then that’s more important than her feelings on the matter.
Man also… Obviously Marcille is very vocal about how she shouldn’t get with Shuro, but imagine how Falin’s whole perspective on marriage must have felt when her only friend ever is a Romantic with a capital R who gushes about idealized romances and grand gestures and True Love and doing things with fully pure feelings all the time.
AND speaking of passivity!!! How much Falin is "there" as the chimera, just how much she’s master of her actions, is left ambiguous and intentionally so imo, but she’s for sure there & influencing the dragon’s action to some degree. Having a dragon’s foot on her in purgatory that keeps her from moving for sure visualizes how it must have been like, but there’s Falin calling out to her brother Laios, there’s the kind attentions towards Thistle that are so Falin-like, and most explicitly there’s the Adventurer’s Bible stating "Even after becoming a chimera, she has a soul that's as kind as ever", which I honestly dislike, a fantranslation puts it as "Even as the chimera, her caring nature remains" and either way to me it feels like confirmation that it’s her giving those berries to Thistle. Now, wether or not she has the mental capacity of a chicken or something closer to human Falin, no clue, there has to at least be some kind of mind bond between monsters and the dungeon lord, compelling or forcing them to go along with orders, or calling her to him in distress like with the fight on the first floor. But yes, it’s interesting to wonder what it is that a Falin, with her kind soul but without her human mind, would willingly do.
On her profile, she’s described as Thistle’s guardian and servant. The power dynamic between the two are very interesting, I already went into how it might have felt like freedom to her while being fake so I’ll reign myself in and just mention it again. She’s still at the heel of someone, only now it’s someone who doesn’t care about her back. Going from being cared for so strongly that it’s suffocating and they would defy death and the world for you, to being devoted to someone who has not one feeling about you besides your utility as a paw . She has all this care to give and to focus onto others and he has none to send back to her and I think that’s part of it. In a way, being left with only her own feelings and a void, without expectations or feelings or ideals pushed onto her, it might have been soothing in itself, and eye opening. But yes the way I think of it, her care for Thistle isn’t unlike the care she gives the ghosts.
Interestingly, the care she extends for the ghosts is sending their soul to a peaceful death, freeing them, of life and any earthly attachment. Take that as you will with the themes of freedom and burden of life and mind, immortality and becoming a warped version of who you were, and such and such.
But going back on the topic of connections and bonds for a bit, I think academy days Falin & Marcille is super interesting bc we’ve never really see Falin form a connection besides with Marcille and even that is kept pretty ambiguous. When was the point that Falin started seeing Marcille as a friend and seeking her out? When was the "I’ll lay down my life for you" point? I’m so fascinated by how she wanted to share lunches with Marcille but never truly asked, only made little "hey want this? I found it isn’t it cool?" gestures of showing things to her… It’s the only way she knows to ask, or maybe it’s the only way she feels comfortable to. In all the scenes of young Falin and Marcille Falin seems comfortable in her friendship with Marcille, but at the same time… I think we see Falin at her most insecure around Marcille, because she really does care about Marcille and what she thinks of her so much, and while Marcille is a bit of an unstoppable force tornado style (affectionate) Falin is something of a doormat. I’d usually say showing her berries was her earnest way to connect and be like "Hey bestie look at this! :]" , but there’s a real possibility that she was self-conscious and holding herself back.
Friendship and Marcille! Involving Laios into this too but, again with the autism thing of not showing you care in ways that others understand, Marcille being very overtly affectionate and clingy was so so soo important… Marcille keeping on hanging out with Falin and caring after her, and being undeterred/unbothered by Falin not always seeming like she cares all that much back in the conventional way, as in Falin acts nonchalant and a bit like she didn’t mind wether she was there with her or not during her outings to the cave dungeon. Caring and being clingy and so affectionate despite that in such a classic Marcille way is soo needed, because so often people will get discouraged by say, their friend not keeping in contact regularly/well, seeming disaffected or as happy-go-lucky as ever even if you haven’t seen each other in a while or when they’re alone, and yes there’s potential for a strong friendship there but someone like Falin won’t be committed enough to reciprocating attention the same way… I hope I’m making sense but yes this angle in particular strongly correlates to autism. And the way Marcille always initiates physical affection, both Toudens being awkward about initiating touch because they don’t know if that’s allowed, if they’re going about the social interaction the right way, if they’re allowed to ask that out of someone…
Another fun observation to make is about the 4 years Falin and Marcille spent apart. Marcille despite being of a long-lived race treated these 4 years of separation with more gravity than Falin did. Falin brushed it off very dismissively to say the least. But then you remember that the amount of time Falin and Laios didn’t see each other after he left the village was 8 years. Double the years, double the time. And that reminder makes Falin’s actions so starkingly understandable. Of course she wouldn’t see 4 years of separation as a long time if 8 years of separation with her beloved brother is her point of comparison. Of course she’d see it as worth it to leave Marcille for 4 years if it meant ending those 8 years instead, especially if she was worried about him (the reason why she followed him into his caravan job).
A friend always says that while Falin is the center of Marcille’s world, Laios’ is at the center of Falin’s, and I tend to agree.
It’s fun to think of how her career dreams had always been shaped by Laios, even when they were kids. Of course there’s how traveling the world began as a dream they talked about and shared, but there’s how he reassures her by listing cool jobs she could do like traveling exorcist, etc. And then of course, she gave up on her magic academy and career path to follow him and do odd jobs, etc etc.
I should go into the violence of Faligon more tbh, because I think there’s an interesting parallel to how she has no problem wacking things with a mace, wether a ghost when she was a kid or a walking mushroom as an adult. Something that often surprises fans when they remember, I don’t really want to get into the whole "
Falin hates violence and hates seeing people in pain to an intense degree. ‘If you die do it somewhere where I can’t see’ style’ interpretation, it has some weight but on the whole I don’t vibe with the theory she has a particular aversion to violence, she seems to be fine resorting to it as much as any other adventurer as long as it isn’t needlessly against ghosts.
And Falin’s sudden mace hits are fun to me too because it’s not her becoming a berserker when the need arises as much as her becoming active because something she cares about is threatened, and that brings her out of her passivity from 99% of the rest of the time. Thistle included. Falin always could be violent, she just dislikes senseless carnage. The Shuro party vs chimera fight is a bit ambiguous on it, because you can argue she only attached after being provoked, presumably offscreen as well while the ninjas went off to fight the harpies.
Falin becomes the most active when she needs to protect someone, she has no qualms doing whatever’s needed for that, wether it be leaving the academy & Marcille without notice no matter the consequences or what her parents think, or teleporting the party, etc.
I’m working on a post specifically pointing out all the differences between Falin and Laios, but yes I think both of them selfishly desire freedom in different yet similar ways. Falin’s dark secret is "Ethics and risks are optional if it means I can protect those I love" like the teleportation, and Laios’ is "Ethics and risks are optional if I can be free of all this bullshit" aka humanity aka his wish with the winged lion.
Conclusion
Flighted birds have hollow bones. With freedom and wings there comes risks and sacrifices.
Tldr:
Falin doesn’t care all that much, she’s very go with the flow. For example if someone hates her she doesn’t really care because that’d require her caring about what they think of her in the first place, and she only cares about her loved ones. She smiles, but it’s more a state of being rather than out of active goodness: she’s canonically very genuinely kind, but it’s more out of a general want for pleasantness than active care itself. She’s passive, and softspoken because that’s just how she seems, but she has no problem hopping into bushes or getting heated if something calls to her enthusiasm or calls for action and a hit of the ol’ mace. Her loved ones needing tending or protective is what makes her go from passive to active. That familiar autopilot mode of making someone the center of her world and following their every move is what made her so easy to be controlled as the chimera, even ferociously defending him with her life.
Faligon is most interesting to me with the theme of freedom. She’s shackled to Thistle and out of her mind, but there’s also a sense of empowerment and freedom from expectations and society.
She spends all her time caring for Laios and Marcille alternating that none of her care and emotional energy is left for others, including herself. So she had to get relieved of all of that for a bit, becoming the chimera so she could reset and recenter and remember that she, too, indeed, is there and an important part of her own life.
There’s a way of caring after others that can be selfish, not unlike Marcille being overly coddling and not listening to Falin. In Falin’s case, I think it was so selfless that it ended up looping back around to erasing her sense of self. In losing sight of herself, that devotion becoming neither quite selfish or selfless but a fact of life and a state of nature, muddled by its lack of direction.
She’s sooo used to never being able to ask things out of others, you get the crumbs of affection and approval that others offer to you unprompted and that’s it don’t hope for more don’t ask for more. (Also reflected in how she follows her loved ones around without complain or personal opinions and how she’s not willing to rock the boat and affirm herself in her relationships like with Marcille during canon)
Falin cares so much, so much and so laser focused on her few loved ones that it blinds her and she loses sight of everything else, she ends up neglecting herself and the rest of the world. As Kui puts it, Falin is herself first and foremost. She just had to remember the importance of that.
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I see her as an enneagram 9, which can be surprisingly accurate and fun to research through the lense of Falin. Excerpt below from this book, but like my god, good way to put it
That’s it, ty for reading. Even if it’s a bit of a mess, hopefully you’ll have gained a thing or two from it. Falin is a character hard to pin down, but it is very gratifying when you find the way that the puzzle pieces fit together right for your own understanding of the story.
Fantranslation of the shuro proposal comic by @/thatsmimi here.
Here’s my spotify playlist for her if you’d like
Sometimes love is about letting go, a lesson a lot of the cast needed to learn. Self-love’s important too, and just like with diets we need a healthy balance.
#I find it hard to express myself right on the topic of Falin. Both because the issue is pretty vibe based and because we don’t#get that many moments with her. So there’s ambiguous scenes up to interpretation addressing a layered topic and like. Save me. Save me#As always falling down the rabbithole of starting an analysis about a specific facet and then needing to explain everything else around it#I’m doomed. I’m getting lost in the sauce.#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#falin touden#analysis#character analysis#meta#autistic reading#aroace reading as well. Sort of. It’s mentioned#The aroace autistic guilt of not caring back in the way/with the intensity you’re expected to#As always this is just my interpretation blablabla#Spoilers#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#She loves like a dog aka unconditionally and happy with eating scraps of affection and attention off the floor#Laios touden#he’s here too bc they are an unit#If you’re not capitalizing on the uncanny vibe autistic effect for Falin’s character u are missing an opportunity imo#Fairy’s child is written all over her. Her cryptic-ness is the point so why am I surprised she’s hard to fully pin down#Even with the graveyard scene it was Falin following Laios… Sob. Laios could feel responsible her powers were found out#I’d like to rework this at some point if i get better at structuring. I’m not satisfied by the level of clarity#Will 90% for sure edit stuff in if i find more to say.#Fumi rambles#Crazy style#I give a TLDR at the end if you’d prefer. It doesn’t have the like evidence/explanations alongside but it makes the main points i think
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Wip. I do want to finish this, i really enjoy doing even digital art of Metal, digital which is usually painstaking for me to do, and I’ve got sooo many angst art pieces of him in the works lol
But this is vent art. And I’m thinking it can be a nice opportunity to give an update on myself? And have a talk about flowergore, machines, sketches and disability, because I’m in that kinda mood
I didn’t want to put a read more split on this post but it became too long to comfortably fit on my blog, so alas... Life doesn’t often go as planned, yeah?
Cw for the next paragraph, just skip if these make you uncomfortable, or if you want to go straight to the flowergore & metal convo: discussion of chronic illness & disability, with references to disordered eating.
I’ve been diagnosed a bit less than a month ago with a chronic autoimmune disease that has been severely impacting my life for a long time without my knowledge: coeliac disease. Basically, my intestines see gluten as something to defend the body against, and that not only causes painful indigestions but also damages the intestines over time, so much so that the body starts having trouble digesting other things and getting nutrients from food. This has caused chronic pain, a miriad of ungodly symptoms like hair loss and skin rash, but honestly, more impacting? Chronic fatigue.
I cannot express just how much psychological and emotional damage it has done to me, to have that decline of energy come in waves, but also steadily going down over years right up to now, where I spend most my days laying in bed, where sitting up in bed and booting up my computer is a “good day”, where I’m either sleepy, exhausted, bored out of my mind or frustrated that I can’t just be making the creative content I want to do. The self-esteem utter destruction, having to work through with myself that it’s okay to be idle and abandon all ambitions, to prioritize physical survival and keeping the will to live even as you stop eating to protect yourself from pain, struggle to keep up with your daily schedule and even thinking takes so much energy. My ipad, my accessibility tool that allows me to do something even as I can’t do anything irl, has become super old and dysfunctional. It gets overwhelmed easily and works slowly, closes randomly, corrupts art files and loads apps uncorrectly. Doing anything with it is either incredibly frustrating, time-consuming and difficult, or straight up impossible or a risk to lose work. I have a Metal Sonic artwork I’ve lost and redone twice, I’m currently taking a break from redoing it a third time. It’s been rough. But tbh, in another way, I relate to it? Massive brainfog energy, lmao. When I have to remind myself that machines are faillible too, I end up humanizing it and validate its struggles, even tho it isn’t alive and it just malfunctions because it is what it is. It has taught me patience and the ability to build back up work that I have lost. But hey, there ain’t no reason to add another layer of inaccessibility to my pile, and I ordered a replacement for it just today! I’ll be so much more productive and happy with material that works smoothly and allows for more.
But anyways, back to flowergore.
Flowergore is vividly poetic, but I only realized why it has always appealed to me as a comfort/vent and cathartic aesthetic while drawing this:
There’s an innate stillness and loss of control to flowergore. Pretty, but tragic. Illness stops being an evil, and becomes a simple product of life that does its thing regardless of the will of the soil it grows in. You have to tend to the plants, whether you trim them to get them under control or must care after them to coexist. No matter if you find the flowers pretty or not, it doesn’t change anything. The flowers aren’t an innate good nor a moral wrong, they don’t even have an opinion about growing on you. They don’t care, they can’t, they’re just flowers. And yet there’s something so comforting about it, something that can be sad but that can just be peaceful, too. It’s about living through the effects, and dealing with the weeds as they come and go. Resigning yourself, or the process of getting there. It’s about acceptance, and compromise.
I think flowergore has innate ties with disability and illness that can’t be denied, nor broken honestly, when you think about it. I also think it can represent/relate with dysmorphia a lot, bodily or otherwise. In my case, I have various skin and sensory issues that give me dysmorphia, and an otherwise “I hate my body and my body hates me” feeling.
The stillness of flowergore often resonates as fatigue, sadness or anguish. It personifies the illness in a way that you can better reflect on your relationship with it, and your relationship with your body & yourself, in a way that allows you to better vent about them. It’s very healing.
These sort of things are the kind of thing that sometimes, you kind of have to personify to distance it from your identity and properly cope with them, you know? Or it’ll just consume you.
Even way before I developed my disease, or was regularly fatigued, I loved flowergore, and I think it’s just... A really nice way to frame things weighing you down, that you just kinda have to deal with and process through. Even vague or “normal”/”light” things, like fatigue or negative thoughts, feelings or insecurities.
And don’t get me STARTED on the metaphors and feelings of plants sprouting from an inorganic machine. It’s the classic “sprout growing from a crack in concrete” dystopia trope, except with a negative punchline hah. I’ve always loved to humanize the dehumanized: robots, antagonists and otherwise. I love having characters that feel like they’re on a high pedestral of innate difference and superiority away from others, but that makes them unreachable by default, deeply lonely and misunderstood for it, wether they’re truly an exceptional being or not. I love characters thinking that they’re above physical or emotional weakness getting a slap in the face and having to acknowledge their vulnerability and neglected/suppressed needs head on. I love the delusional, emotionally repressed with anger issues robot having a moment of clarity where he allows himself to be honest to himself for a bit, and resigns himself to the pain of his past and future, before returning to their regular schedule or self-destruction, or not. Ignoring is often the only option you can manage to choose when you don’t have the strenght to make a change or admit to something you didn’t want to about yourself, but ignoring is a lot harder when the proof grows ever bigger and more out of control everywhere on your body. It shouldn’t. It shouldn’t grow on you, impossible. But it does. So what are you going to do about it?
I think I finally get the appeal of hanahaki stuff too. I never understood before, but now I can see it in that same vein. Unreciprocated love causes flowers to sprout wildly, causing, at best, only body horror and/or wounds, when weeding them out or otherwise, and at worst proves to be fatal, most often by suffocating. Except that instead of illness or things like that, the thing you experience a lack of control over and feel some sort of detached destructive blame or resentment for is feelings. Feelings of love, like falling deeply in love, without your own consent, and the pain that being unloved brings. Your love, like a damaging parasitic disease.
Yeah, this isn’t gonna be my last flowergore content.
I didn’t end up talking about sketches, I don’t have the energy to and I don’t think it fits in with the rest anyway, but basically? It’s been an healing journey to allow simple, unclean sketches to be “enough”. To not be shameful, to represent progress and be pretty in their own right and a valid art format. And so, with all of this, I post my messiest sketch on social media to date. One of my very rare public wips. Freedom, baby. You get what you get, and that’s fine.
Low standards art is part of my disability recovery arc ✨
#sonic#metal sonic#fuumiku art#my content#Fumi rambles#flowergore#metal sonic angst#angst#vent art#disability#invisible illness#chronic illness#flowergore art#personal update#wip#just bc it's a wip doesn't mean you're allowed to draw over it or copy thanks#is it flowergore if the body horror is robotic? my son is a real boy wdym#feeling like i'm taking too much space on my literal blog but it's fineee /hj
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rinmeikan + text posts 1/???
#revue starlight#revstar#starira#ichie otonashi#fumi yumeoji#rui akikaze#yuyuko tanaka#tamao tomoe#rambles#HERES THE NEXT SET
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i need u to tell me everything about your unit so when ill be writing once i have time, i can put them in it too
hohoheheoehehehoheoe,,,,,,, I'm gonna use this as an opportunity to shove all of the most important info into one place. Everything is a little all over the place tho, but it's always like that wjkhkskh
Helianthus♡Light!
Helianthus is the genus which includes sunflowers. Fumi and Seina suggested this part of the name, since Fumi loves flowers and the flower language/symbolism behind them, and Seina knows the more,, biological/scientific stuffs. The "Light" part is both because it also has to do with sunflowers, and Toshiro suggested that they're "reaching for light", because they chose the name at the end of their main story and they were feeling very hopeful,, it's not like they're not hopeful now, idk why I phrased it like that ANYWAYS.
I'm kind of not sure what type of music they play (mainly because I don't know ANYTHING about music genres lol), but it's definitely something warm, nostalgic, maybe a bit echo-y, somewhat soft, and their cover arts definitely include a lot of nature stuff,,,,, I haven't designed their virtual singers yet, but they're probably gonna be Rin and Luka (and Miku obv)
Unit members!
Toshiro Hasegawa (they/he)
178 cm tall, unit leader, probably main vocalist?, class 2-B (post-3rd anni), class 1-C (pre-3rd anni). Pretty energetic and outgoing, straight-A student, very afraid of failure and tends to try to earn love and affection through exceeding at everything because family problems, yay. Has an older brother (Hiroto Hasegawa, he/him), who is a part of ANOTHER unit,, The two are pretty distant. The whole family actually is, woops. Toshiro is also VERY into crystals and spirituality. It gives a sense of certainty. Also has an orange cat named Surfer. They're a big MMJ fan, specifically Airi fan. Friends with Ichika and An. Always braids/does everyone's hair.
Matsu Kimura (he/him)
162 cm, probably also vocals, but mainly deals with the uhm technical musical stuff that I know nothing about?? class 3-C (post-3rd anni), class 2-B (pre-3rd anni). Very bubbly, energetic, affectionate, super-uber-extra autism (sea-flavoured), very average grades because he only really does what he's interested in, but he does it rlly good. Used to get bullied in middle school, struggles with people's expectations and trying to fit in. Very-very silly. Only child. Keeps pet fish. Friends with Emu. Very tactile, loves tackling people.
Fumi Hatanaka (she/they)
169 cm, loves musical instruments and plays guitar, class 2-A (post-3rd anni), class 1-B (pre-3rd anni). A surprisingly bad student, doesn't care about school. She's pretty reserved and a bit grumpy most of the time but tends to easily get angry and even a little aggressive. Cares a lot about her friends, even though she doesn't really know how to show it. Also doesn't want to show "weakness". Blames herself for being too soft in middle school and not being able to help Matsu. Her family owns and runs a small flower shop. Friends with Shiho, dislikes Tsukasa and Rui (thinks they're too obnoxious and chaotic lmao). Also an only child. Doesn't have pets, but feeds strays that often hang out around the shop. Friends with Shiho and pretty much all of leo/need, as well as Toya. Can be pretty distant physically, but likes subtle physical gestures of affection.
Seina Amari (she/her)
175 cm, writes lyrics for their songs, loves writing in general, the only one in the group who goes to Miya girls', class 3-B (post-3rd anni), class 2-B (pre-3rd anni). Does VERY good at school, super responsible, helps everyone, though isn't actually all that interested in most subjects except literature. She's very calm and caring, always tries to help everyone, has a very gentle energy about her. This mostly comes from the fact that she had hurt a dear friend in the past, which was actually genuinly her fault, but also some shit happened, and she ended up dealing with this by being overly-caring and not letting her loved ones see when she's struggling. Doesn't mean she doesn't ACTUALLY care though. She very much does. Has a younger sibling (Taru Amari, they/them), who's also part of the same unit Hiroto is! Also has a pet bunny named Puddle, who's very similar to her, which I think is funny,, not exactly friends with Mafuyu, but just a little bit closer than regular acquaintances. Close friends with Shizuku and pretty much the rest of MMJ too (Toshiro nearly fainted when they found out). Has a part-time job at a local coffee shop, where she met and became friends with Ena. Often shows affection/compassion by something like placing a hand on someone's shoulder.
I decided that they all should have emojis because,, idk,,,, it's fun,,,,,, so:
Toshiro – 🍑
Matsu – 🦈 (or jellyfish, but I don't have this one and don't want to have to copy-paste it every time,,)
Fumi – 🍊
Seina – 🍃 or ✒️ (but here I mostly use ✒️)
How all of them know each other!
(Because I wanted ALL of them to have some kind of connection to each other before the unit was formed. I think it's fun.)
🦈🍊 Matsu and Fumi are childhood friends and went to the same middle school. It was very awkward and tense at first when they met again in high-school, because back then Fumi felt extremely guilty and ended up distancing herself, eventually kind of abandoning Matsu when he needed support most.
🍑🍊 (fucking fruits /j) Toshiro's brother visits Fumi's family's flower shop very frequently, that's how Toshiro and Fumi met, since she often helps out with the shop in the evenings. Though they didn't become close until the main story started and the unit was firmed.
🍑✒️ Toshiro and Seina know each other because their siblings, Hiroto and Taru, are friends! So they kinda met through Seina accompanying Taru whenever they wanted to visit Hiroto.
🍊✒️ Fumi loves coffee and met Seina when going to the coffee shop Seina works part-time at. Because Fumi ended up being a regular customer there, even with their tough personality the two became acquaintances, but also didn't become very close until the events of the main story.
🍑🦈 Toshiro and Matsu just kinda bumped into each other at school. They became friends before the events of the main story.
🦈✒️ I think Matsu and Seina are the only exception though. They've only met when the main story started.
[also, side note – none of them canonically have labels, but the pronouns are canon]
Dynamics!!
🍑🍊 They bicker and argue a lot, but not, like, SERIOUSLY. They're both aware they're joking and most of the time it's affectionate. Fumi isn't as big of a fan of physical affection as it seems the rest of the unit is, so Toshiro doesn't get the chance to braid her hair that often. But when he does, it's very nice and relaxing for both. Surprisingly, Toshiro might be the closest to Fumi, after Matsu, that is.
🍑✒️ Toshiro loves braiding/doing everyone's hair, as I've mentioned already, and his favorite to do this to is Seina. They especially like braiding these tail-like longer parts of her hair. Overall, they're pretty close because of their siblings, and Toshiro might be one of the first people Seina eventually opens up to. Also, I keep forgetting that Toshiro is actually taller. Most of the time, Seina just. FEELS taller, idk.
🍑🦈 These two are very close. They both kinda admire Rui and Tsukasa, which worsens their already chaotic behavior. They're actually two menaces together and no one is safe. Matsu loves tackling Toshiro more than everyone else and Toshiro might sometimes jokingly complain, but loves the attention. Matsu's hair is also his second favorite to braid. Also they drag Matsu to MMJ concerts and keep trying to convert him into being an MMJ fan,,,,,,
🍊✒️ Seina has a surprising way of calming Fumi down better than anyone else. Sometimes, maybe if they're waiting for something or riding a train somewhere, Fumi even allows herself to rest on Seina's shoulder. She's less harsh with Seina (even if her harshness isn't malicious with her friends). Seina sometimes has to stop Fumi from getting into fights. Even if she struggles to show it, Fumi tries her best and appreciates Seina a lot.
🍊🦈 As I mentioned before, Matsu and Fumi are childhood friends. At the beginning of the unit story things are still pretty awkward and Fumi is very tense around Matsu, as she still feels guilty, but isn't sure how to properly express any of it, while Matsu still feels a little hiet over her abandoning him. Though as the story goes on, this conflict pretty much gets resolved, even though it will still take a lot of time for any awkwardness to disappear completely. After the unit is formed, they're pretty close again, despite, uh, all of what I just said. They need some time to get used to each other again, but ARGHHH I LOVE THEM SO MUCH, they care about each other A LOT, even if Fumi isn't the best at expressing it. The whole reason she became so mean and harsh is to be able to protect Matsu.
✒️🦈 Seina kinda feels like an older sister figure to Matsu, I think? At least, for me,, She worries about him a lot, maybe even more than with the others, helps in overwhelming situations, all that. He's still very affectionate, but it's kinda like his affection is more calm with her (basically, he doesn't tackle her as hard as everyone else /hj)
SEKAI description!!!
(I just copy-pasted this from the post where I first described it. I'm NOT typing all that ever again)
I mentioned that I call it the overgrown sekai. Because it's, well, overgrown. As you could hopefully guess. The main part of it is an old stone structure, with some intricate carvings still remaining visible and even discernable, although everything does look like it's at least.. a few centuries old, no less. However, taking into account that it's a sekai, it probably isn't that ancient. Almost everything is pretty much overrun by plants – ivy spreading across the grey stone walls, grass (and most importantly flowers) breaking their way through the floor that seems to be made of marble, but it's too old, overgrown and at times dirty to be completely sure. The said flowers are a strange mix of forget-me-nots and sunflowers that may not quite make sense, but it *is* a whole ass other dimension, after all. There's plenty of light, despite practically no windows in sight, save for a few small ones. The reason for that being the roof, shaped like a dome, with holes in it that clearly weren't here by the first design, having appeared because of the stone collapsing over time. Unsurprisingly, the flowers are concentrated in the areas where the most light seeps through those holes. And speaking of light, the time here is always the same – late afternoon, with the season always remaining a comfortable sunny summer.
There's some furniture in the building, mostly along the walls, with the center looking almost like a flowerbed. That furniture seems to represent each of the owners of the sekai – an old desk made of dark wood with a quil and some paper thrown around it, almost giving it an impression that the owner left in a hurry. The paper has become a light yellow color over what may or may not be a rather long amount of time. Next to it – a somewhat fancy wooden chair. There are mirrors hung around this part of the space – some broken, some have the glass taken out entirely. Just a little further – a shelf and an armchair. Both items' materials and overall look fit that of nearly very other piece of furniture here. The shelf is filled with items that seem to have some spiritualistic significance – amulets, crystals and stones, all of them hand-made and hand-carved, yet seeming to lack in accuracy and having been made in a hurry. The armchair strangely has a few long chains hanging on its back. One of the more noticeable pieces of furniture is... a fish tank. It has no fish. In fact, it doesn't even have water, though it's probably not intended to be that way – the tank is spacious and has pretty much almost everything a fish would need to be happy and content in captivity. But it's old and worn out – the driftwood rotting away, whatever plants used to be inside have withered and everything is covered in a thin layer of... dust..? The tank itself stands on top of something of a dresser. If you care to open its doors, you will see rows upon rows of books – as many as could fit in the little space there is inside. Most of them have to do with marine life, but there are also some journals full of incomprehensible messy writing, as if whoever was filling them either didn't have much time, or was feeling too much emotion to care. Perhaps the strangest item in the building is a cage. It's designed just like one of those small restricting bird cages, glistening with gold in the light from above, but for some reason, the cage could easily fit a human. If you decide to step in, you might notice an unexpected aroma. It's vague and subtle, but... it almost seems like fresh black coffee mixed with something citrusy. Outside, the building is surrounded by a dense forest. The light can't penetrate the abundance of trees, but somehow, it doesn't feel eerie or threatening. It feels familiar in an unexplainable way. Have you already seen these woods somewhere..?
I think that's pretty much all the important stuff..? I ramble A LOT about small details pretty often, but uhm. Explodes.
#wahoo#ask#Helianthus♡Light!#toshiro hasegawa#matsu kimura#fumi hatanaka#seina amari#hiroto hasegawa#taru amari#pjsk oc#oc ramble!
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in desperate need of the upcoming jack jeanne novel for my mental health. dying to see what happens just before the final play on every route (including kisa's) fskljdfjd
#ririya rambles#end route fumi pls#i want to see all of them really#but my boy#he needs hugs#just like me fr
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THIS NEW CHAPTER HELLO. HELLO . FUMI?
#vi rambling#skip and loafer#DO NOT LOOK IF U HAVE NOT READ#oh my god. not . ending the chapter. like That. NOOOOO#but also good development for shima IS THIS. TO PROVOKE HIM? IM. WHAT#i loved the fumi and mitsumi backstory bits and rhe maharu bit was also great takamtsu knows exactly whats up. w sibling comparisons#but also. IM SO UNWELL#all the beach panels were so sweet too ARGH.#shima is so concerned for her i. :( PLEASE LET THEM TALKKKK
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Aaaah they are translating the Korean Inner Monologue in Viki and they didn’t in Netflix! Glad I’m only half way through because now I’m gonna watch it in Viki!
#eye love you#my drama rambles#I wondered if they would#so I checked#and yes they are!#so I will skip through the episodes I’ve#already seen and then#watch the remaining in Viki#Viki#netflix#chae jong hyeop#I’m done with my#trip and headed home tomorrow#fumi nikaido
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VIVANT mini-exhibition in Tower Records, Shibuya
#Didn't think I'd do yet another VIVANT post but here we are#my guts were telling me to go to shibuya and im so glad i did#angryborzois rambles#vivant#vivant jdrama#jdrama#ヴィヴァン#sakai masato#masato sakai#tori matsuzaka#matsuzaka tori#nikaido fumi#fumi nikaido#ninomiya kazunari#kazunari ninomiya#abe hiroshi#hiroshi abe
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this deserves its own post so here ya go-
#puppy rambles#yo-kai watch#yw3#hailey anne thomas#usapyon#jibanyan#katie forester#in one of the tweets on the last post i forgot to capitalize the usa in usapyon's display name but that was intentional the first time#so oops#but also doesn't really work since. yo-kai watch america is bbq so#whatever sdfkljfslkfsdj-#love the part of this where i made katie's @ be fumichan as a reference to her being called fumi-chan as a nickname in japanese#but. doesn't really work when you use english names-#jibanyan just wants to see a gun fight. he is the ammo in the gun fight#(well his medal but still)#katie knows the gun fight would end badly. romance at its finest (/hj)-#fake tweets
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I'm back to playing genshin again (whoops), so I'll probably rework some stuff for Odell and finally give them lore pfff.
#ange rambles#no shipping for odell tho I just want an oc to be a nuisance in that universe#BY THE WAY I can't believe jj fumi spoilers 🤝 genshin gaming lantern rite event spoilers#me: i need 2 draw#also me: but video game...
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I don’t like minimizing the importance and gravity of Laios and Toshiro’s fight into just being a childish squabble, even if to a degree it is framed that way, because to both of them it has a lot of personal significance and emotional weight and runs very deep to their characters… The fight isn’t nothing it’s a LOT, they made up but it’s not something easy to express and to get over for either of them which makes it all the more meaningful! I’m on both sides but there very much are sides, there’s no "they’re both having a ball, Toshiro and Laios hand in hand yay" side to the fight, that comes after
The fight with Toshiro WAS very scary to Laios, almost existentially so, but it’s moreso the "I thought I’d made a friend!!" bit and my god. My god actually
Like it’s not "just" about oh his friend liking him less than he thought, THAT IS SO MUCH. It’s a bond he thought he had being a lie it’s all the time and moments spent together either being a lie from his perspective or marred now looking back. It’s not only being upset at Toshiro for lying but upset at himself that he’s so easy to fool, it’s being upset that there’s something so wrong with you that you can’t even tell if your "close buddy" even actually likes you or not, it’s like. Holding my head. He can’t trust his own vision of events that happened do you see. There’s always this film of distrust that it could be a lie that should be there when he interacts with people there’s always this sense of cloak and dagger to expect backstabs out of nowhere because you CAN’T see it coming you CAN’T you CAN’T there’s something about you which makes it impossible so you CAN’T-
He’s so scared of not being able to read people. He knows it’s a weak spot he has, he’s always known. All of these bits are centered around social expectations and betrayals, the assumption that he doesn’t belong either in society or with other humans.
And Laios’ level of awareness is actually sort of complex to analyze, but it’s there, there’s how out of him and Falin he was the one sensitive to the ~aura of hatred~ he felt from the townspeople, there’s of course his nightmares whispering to him about the mocking looks, and how yeah actually he realizes that his gold stripper coworker was taking advantage of him. There’s of course the Winged Lion speech about his trauma and how he fundamentally mistrusts/dislikes humans to some deep seated degree, this distrust that he still keeps under control always. There’s how pre-canon he often wanted to suggest eating monsters but never worked up the courage to bring it up with the others. There’s how he gets across as stoic when he isn’t being enthusiastic…… We don’t know how aware and wary he is exactly in the moment but we do know he has some anxiety around social stuff, and looking back he does notice and aughh augh, the sense you have to hide yourself to not get hurt and be on your guard and shit and.
When you don’t know what to look out for and when to look out for it, the general ‘common sense’ of not always trusting people or noticing when someone’s messing with you becomes hypervigilance in social settings
"Man they really know what you hate huh". Being socially unaware literally plagues him, he knows, he knows it so well.
It’s so quick that it’s almost hard to digest how literal and blatant Laios summoning his monster to crush all the people who’ve hurt him is. His literal go-to coping mechanism for comfort in his literal monster-induced emotionally intense nightmares, saving him by taking away the upsetting element (the humans)
"Monsters are his coping fantasy, where they can whisk him away from humanity, all the hurt it’s caused him and its arbitrary rules" with the subtlety of a brick. Monsters are his comfort safe zone "because they kill humans" yes but no it’s because he pits them as the guardians against humans who to him are in the role of the agressors. To him they represent freedom from the shackles of what it means to be part of humanity, a fundamentally social species
#Fumi rambles#Was asked to post this but a lot of this is present in my shuro-Laios fight analysis from Laios’ pov#Bite sized fumi#Laios touden#Meta#happy nightmare chapter day#Character analysis#Spoilers#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#And humanity being a social species is ofc ultimately not shown as a negative.#Dunmeshi is about unity and coming together when seeking to understand that which you do not!!!#But yeah like imagine if you will that you can never really trust your own perspective of events because you literally can’t tell#Wether the person likes you or hates you and you just can’t tell. Even when they ARE being obvious about it#The nightmare scene is so real like I def have vivid memories where I’m like ‘Ah yeah they cringed here#that should have been a dead giveaway’. It wears on self-esteem and self-trust. Like “you don’t belong in society” in a way they’re#sorta like factually not wrong and like. Oh ok man. Sitting down#Just spitballing here obvi. Personal experience. Hey did you guys know that dunmeshi is good. Man. It’s good#Dungeon meshi#Analysis#Feeling The Owl House Gus meltdown episode in tha club tonight#Sobbing about how the flashbacks we see of Laios’ childhood are only happy when it centers around Falin or the dogs
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It’s on a nice day that Metal Sonic is sent on a scouting mission, the same day that Amy Rose goes birdwatching in the forest to relax... With orders of staying undetected without protocol for if he encountered a freedom fighter, perhaps this is the opportunity for Metal to assuage his curiosity of the pink hedgehog.
And maybe then, someday, he’d be able to make sense of the birds’ songs, as well as the melodies plaguing his own program. Melodies he was never made to make or learn.
Emotional neglect, Amy Rose, birdwatching, and Metal learning to communicate through bird calls.
Bird Calls chapter 1 is out!
youtube
Sooo any of my friends would be able to tell you I’ve been obsessed with bird and bird songs lately, and this fanfiction project is why. I did so much research for it lol. Every chapter will be coming with music/songs associated, and this time’s is Marsh Warbler by Cosmo Sheldrake and The Finger from Harvey Beaks linked just below!
I was listening to this music when 1:16 hit me: The Finger
I already had plans of drawing Harvey Beaks-inspired drawings of metamy (it’s a great feel-good show with an autistic main character and an amazing soundtrack) when I vividly thought of Metal Sonic imitating bird calls and bird songs.
It just fits so perfectly, and it’s grown into a full-blown huge and dear headcanon of mine. I’ve never liked the idea of Metal getting a voice and talking, I see him as being semiverbal/nonverbal lowkey, but also having no way at all to express himself, even his face and body being rather limited in emoting, seems just very sad, and limiting for writers of course. Imitating bird calls doesn’t change his abilities at all, it’s just his beeps, and maybe even recording features. With them, he can express his general mood or even complex ideas with the more nuanced bird calls. I think he’d enjoy the bird call system too, it can be flexible, but the calls and their meanings are usually very specific and straightforward, somewhat like morse code, and I feel like he’d enjoy learning and using such a compact way to communicate. It also skips some of the aspects of human communication that as an autistic (headcanon) he’d like the shortcut, in the way neurodivergent people often connect with animals more than with humans. It’s comfortable, reasonably effective and very expressive!
And it has so much comedic and aesthetic potential omfg. Can’t you just see it? Art: Metal being pissy looneytunes style and just chirping at Sonic, Sonic being amused but Amy going “Omg he’s cussing at you so hard right now”.
What I said about bird calls being rather complex yet specific can be shown with the chickadee call, the iconic “chick-a-dee-dee” call is what we call an alarm call, a call that says “there’s a threat!!” or something along those lines. Where it gets interesting is that a chickadee will add more “dee”s the more big of a threat it’s calling out, I think the biggest recorded one was with 28 dees. I think Metal would use that call when threatened, scared or even angry as in a “I am threatening you with the danger of a 10 magnitude earthquake rn” way, or rambling cussing lol. If this tidbit interested you, I recommend this article for reading up on what kind of calls there are and their purposes! Metal would have no shortage on saying “I love you”s and “this was so stupid” and “how dare you leave me alone for 3 seconds”. It’s so fun and interesting to think about! I want to write about it in fics and draw it 1000 times
I sadly don’t have fanart done for this yet, but I have sooo many wips. I finished writing the first chapter on 18/6 but wanted to wait to have done accompanying art and finished chapter two before posting but Ao3 will delete my draft in 3 days if I don’t post it soon, so here we are lol. I’m going to be making a post for every chapter, plus fanart when I finish it, so I’ll be giving posts for my Bird Calls fic the tag “Metal Sonic knows bird calls”, also starting the tag “metal sonic speaks bird” for my headcanon <3
Anyways, time for the chapter-specific stuff:
Lol, look at this maladjusted dysfunctional boy, can’t even go into a forest and hear birds without wanting to scream and have a rage-induced meltdow smh smh
Meta & details
At first I was going to have the word bird be flicky all the time, but then I looked into it and learned that flickies have complex lore and are sometimes only native to specific places, so they’re not all birds ever, it’s just a species amongst others.
This fic can be, if you want, a nod to how in some canon worlds badniks have an animal at their core fueling them, often flickies. And/or a reference to how Metal had a flicky trapped inside of him in the christmas special.
Amy liking birdwatching just makes sense to me. She’s seen being caring of birds/flickies many times and her like of nature & gentle positive nature make me think she’d like that kind of hobby, and a few times it’s been said that Amy enjoys breaks from the adventures and thrills. The example that comes to me is from Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood, where she says something along the lines of “Well, not having to fight Eggman was fun while it lasted. I could enjoy the mornings and have not a care in the world!”, so that makes me think Amy would like taking up an activity like birdwatching to unwind and just enjoy the day.
Also, I only saw that Metal is canonically mean to small animals (via the CD game animations) after finishing this first chapter so lol my hc really got validated here, pog. It just makes sense to me, but I want to write a psychology analysis of Metal on my alt @fumifooms at some point so if you’re interested on my logic you can keep an eye out for that!
I hope you all like my Metal narration haha, I know i go way overboard with all the tech analogies but they’re really fun to write... Also in my headcanons, because you may be wondering what I meant on a few occasions; I see metal as having a lot of programs: programs for sensation processing and decrypting, recording like memory, for thought processes, running equations and comparisons for decision making, and other programs that help execute and receive the commands through his body, much like with the human system tbh. But what I'm getting at is I think that Metal also has programs or algorithms that kind of block/limit him in a way? Like I read a canon Metal short story where he could choose to turn off and on stuff like heat control, and change the percentage of where his body sends energy or how much of it he can use, which can be dangerous to do but who's surprised at our self-destructive boy. So, Metal limiting his body is canon, and in a similar way I think he can suppress thoughts/emotions/wants, or have one of his decision/command be refused by that middle process of "command received, but will I pass it along/execute it or not?" if it’s something that goes against his programming. It’s very out there and not canon but it works like coping mechanisms that repress your emotions, memories or defense mechanism that will not let you put yourself in a potential socially embarrassing situation, essentially. It’s the age old instinct of "if I don’t aknowledge it it can't hurt me" or "if I don’t want anything then I can never be hurt".
Also Metal would for sure think in number statistics, like with distances and all, but i do not have the brain for that i'm sorry lol
Alternate scenes & thoughts
At first I was planning Metal to be less like... In love right away I guess? But Metal being desperate for a stronger sense of identity really resonates with how I see his character and having him crave validation outside of Eggman & his own compulsive superior complex (cough cough, which is a coping mechanism) just so easily spiraled into it. Metal has such emotional intensity all the time even if he desperately tries to bottle it all up and be objective and cool-headed. Amy is hands down the mobian Metal has the least of negative knee jerk reaction to imo so it was rlly easy for it to go out of hands because they have such a complex and intrinsically tied together history and gcbhdvdhdg I could talk about them for hours, metamy discord server when? I need it. Day 50 of asking for a metamy discord server. Will I have to be the one to make it? Smh
In one of my drafts Metal turned this into more of a game and would run around the clearing in turns and go on tree branches, hidden, moving around to further confuse her and make the interaction last longer than the easy win she had here. But at some point, prob drowning in feelings of joy and freedom, or just seeing her expression at some point and realizing he loved her or it just circuited him or smth lol, he miscalculates and falls from the tree he was in at that moment. Falls very visibly into a bush on his back, and it’s game over, his body locks up and doesn’t even try to hide, defeated. Amy having seen his general shape and color, calls out uncertainly. "Sonic...?" His processor thumps and throbs. Yes, almost... & she gets closer and looks down into his face, they make eye contact and then the same scene goes down basically.
I could also have had his brain fry cutely at Amy’s first smile and giggle because the sight stirred his mechanical heart or something but that changed the flow of the scene too much.
And uuuh that’s all for today! See you soon, hopefully!
#fuumiku fics#my posts#my content#my fanfiction#my fics#fumi rambles#headcanons#my headcanons#metamy#metal sonic#amy rose#birdwatching#metal sonic knows bird calls#metal sonic speaks bird#metal sonic angst#metamy fluff
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Just ya girl Fumi here again. Nevermind wanted to join this ask quests thingys... does Stephanie have a favourite sort of ice cream and would she be interested to share one with a Metal star
He may be a himbo but he has a heart of gold.
[I'm so so sorry this took way too long, but here you go!]
Favorite ice cream flavor?
Strangely enough, Stephanie's favorite ice cream flavor is mint chocolate chip, especially if it comes with a lot of chips!
When Stephanie was younger, she believed that with this ice cream, she was killing two birds with one stone. The chocolate chips provided satisfaction for her sweet tooth, and the mintiness of the ice cream would substitute the need to brush her teeth! All because it had the same key ingredient as toothpaste. Needless to say, she was upset finding out that she still needed to brush her teeth despite that.
She still enjoys this ice cream flavor to this day. It's a refreshing flavor with hints of richness. Mint chocolate chip is a nice balance of both worlds.
Sharing it with: Gregory Darknon
She gets to spend time with a star?!?! Say. Less. If he doesn't mind having mint choco chip, Stephanie is more than happy to give him a scoop or two. If he wants more scoops, then he has to give her a performance! Or maybe they could play a game or two, and he'd get more if he wins!
"Three, two, oneee- Alright nice! Let's just see how it looks... Aaaaand when did you sneak in bunny fingers?! Psh, that's fine... the pic still came out super cute!!"
[I must say that these two came out really adorable!!]
#twst oc#random rambling#Gregory Darknon#stephanie amaryllis#ty for participating fumi!!#very sweet moment if i do say so myself
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THANK YOU FUMIE KUMATANI AND JUN SENOUE FOR MY FUCKING LIFE
#be warned the tags are rlly long n rambly#AND ALL THE OTHER AMAZING PERFORMERS AND COMPOSERS#listening to shadow’s music yet again. it’s good. thank you music#rambles#i say this every day#i feel like i probably post it weekly too#remind me to make an artsy post about how the majority of shadows songs (not counting all the shth vocal tracks) have heavy synth elements#which heavily contrasts the moreso acoustic nature of everyone elses themes minus eggman n tails who r also elec heavy#i just think shadows songs are good. and also reflect him well#cause he’s artificial. n the ark is so techy. smth smth outta place in grn hill smth smth space and chicago#it just suits his existence well ykno? the alien synths n determined driving basslines and the glitchy muffled breakbeats#i’m so sleepy it shows but there’s so many fucking layers in his fumie kumatani sa2 songs it’s hard to catch what goes into it all#tryin to read up more on dnb to understand it. hard finding stuff yhats act relevant#CAUSE UTS SO UNIQUE!!!#words hard#in conclusion:#SHADOW#MUSIC!!!!!#GOOD!!!!!!#AUOIGHUGHB#musicposting#i think there’s something wrong with me <- guy who knows there’s something wrong with them and knows what it is#i need to attach an appendix to every post i make every word i type#appendix: •autism#i’m so tiredd
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long time no H♡L info??!??!?!?!?
I did mention that Toshiro and Seina both have siblings. WELL. I made up my mind about them. Neither has a name yet, but I have a whole leftover name list from when I was naming all of Helianthus. Toshiro has an older brother and Seina has a younger sibling. And uhm. So remember how I ALSO mentioned that I accidentally started thinking about another fan unit. That's because of them. These siblings are in another unit together. I actually already have a general theme and even their sekai in mind????? Somehow??????? All I'm gonna say for now is that it's space-themed. Because of course it is. At this point I might as well make a billion units for each of my interests (/nsrs), but uh ANYWAYS. Yeah. I'll try to design said siblings today, ALTHOUGH. I have like,, 3(??) other H♡L wips, but I just CANNOT stop, my brain is full of ideas and these guys are genuinely one of the only things keeping me going???? Along with my sister??????? Can you tell I'm super excited, did any of that even make sense, idc, I just wanted to say it.
AND. To not make this just me saying some random general stuff, I'll also share what's the idea for H♡L's sekai is FOR NOW. It can change because I. Am painfully inconsistent. Just a heads up – I'm not he best with descriptions, and I'm also not gonna really bother making it sound good right now, it's just to give whatever few ppl care about these sillies an idea of what it'll probably look like. (As I'm writing this, I realized I actually *am* trying to make it sound nice, but if it sounds weird. Hush. /lh)
I mentioned that I call it the overgrown sekai. Because it's, well, overgrown. As you could hopefully guess. The main part of it is an old stone structure, with some intricate carvings still remaining visible and even discernable, although everything does look like it's at least.. a few centuries old, no less. However, taking into account that it's a sekai, it probably isn't that ancient. Almost everything is pretty much overrun by plants – ivy spreading across the grey stone walls, grass (and most importantly flowers) breaking their way through the floor that seems to be made of marble, but it's too old, overgrown and at times dirty to be completely sure. The said flowers are a strange mix of forget-me-nots and sunflowers that may not quite make sense, but it *is* a whole ass other dimension, after all. There's plenty of light, despite practically no windows in sight, save for a few small ones. The reason for that being the roof, shaped like a dome, with holes in it that clearly weren't here by the first design, having appeared because of the stone collapsing over time. Unsurprisingly, the flowers are concentrated in the areas where the most light seeps through those holes. And speaking of light, the time here is always the same – late afternoon, with the season always remaining a comfortable sunny summer.
There's some furniture in the building, mostly along the walls, with the center looking almost like a flowerbed. That furniture seems to represent each of the owners of the sekai – an old desk made of dark wood with a quil and some paper thrown around it, almost giving it an impression that the owner left in a hurry. The paper has become a light yellow color over what may or may not be a rather long amount of time. Next to it – a somewhat fancy wooden chair. There are mirrors hung around this part of the space – some broken, some have the glass taken out entirely. Just a little further – a shelf and an armchair. Both items' materials and overall look fit that of nearly very other piece of furniture here. The shelf is filled with items that seem to have some spiritualistic significance – amulets, crystals and stones, all of them hand-made and hand-carved, yet seeming to lack in accuracy and having been made in a hurry. The armchair strangely has a few long chains hanging on its back. One of the more noticeable pieces of furniture is... a fish tank. It has no fish. In fact, it doesn't even have water, though it's probably not intended to be that way – the tank is spacious and has pretty much almost everything a fish would need to be happy and content in captivity. But it's old and worn out – the driftwood rotting away, whatever plants used to be inside have withered and everything is covered in a thin layer of... dust..? The tank itself stands on top of something of a dresser. If you care to open its doors, you will see rows upon rows of books – as many as could fit in the little space there is inside. Most of them have to do with marine life, but there are also some journals full of incomprehensible messy writing, as if whoever was filling them either didn't have much time, or was feeling too much emotion to care. Perhaps the strangest item in the building is a cage. It's designed just like one of those small restricting bird cages, glistening with gold in the light from above, but for some reason, the cage could easily fit a human. If you decide to step in, you might notice an unexpected aroma. It's vague and subtle, but... it almost seems like fresh black coffee mixed with something citrusy. Outside, the building is surrounded by a dense forest. The light can't penetrate the abundance of trees, but somehow, it doesn't feel eerie or threatening. It feels familiar in an unexplainable way. Have you already seen these woods somewhere..?
WOOOOO I THINK THAT'S ALL. I think. I hope I didn't miss anything. Uhm. I also hope it's not too,, out there, idk. There's also another area I have in mind, BUT. that is some world link territory, where I don't rlly wanna go rn,,,,, RAGHHHH I hope all of that sounds alright. Again, if it doesn't,,,,, I'm not a writer by any means, I just. Felt silly.
#Helianthus♡Light!#also uhm#i should tag sfuff more#you shall be#lore rambles#that makes sense#pjsk#pjsk oc#project sekai oc#toshiro hasegawa#matsu kimura#fumi hatanaka#seina amari
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can hayate please get her head out of the way i’m trying to look at fumi and shion
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