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nicolemagolan · 4 years

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Two Cities, One Galaxy: How Star Wars Connects And Divides Us

Early in 2019, I wrote a personal essay about Star Wars. It centered around SWCC (Star Wars Celebration Chicago) and my experience of watching the live stream in my living room at 4am, when the episode IX teaser and title was unveiled.

It’s about fandom, the internet, and isolation. It’s about how Star Wars impacted my life, and about my relationship with my brother.

It also, eerily, foreshadows the disappointment I would eventually feel about The Rise of Skywalker. So here it is, under the cut. Please give it a read, and let me know your thoughts!

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My phone blinks 3:30am, April 13th, 2019. In Chicago it’s 10:30am, yesterday. I should be asleep. I should stay present in Auckland, where no one else is awake except the moths gathering on the kitchen window.

My brother is slumped beside me, eyes closed, lost somewhere between sleep and boredom. We sit in the darkness of our living room, outlined by the grey glaze of the television. I’m wearing pyjama pants and yesterday’s T-shirt. An empty bag of chips is screwed up on the carpet, a half-drunk can of Lift Plus sits on the mantelpiece.

I stare at the TV. Waiting. My knee bobs up and down. I glance at my phone, and refresh Twitter. The tweets are coming in a blur: people yelling in caps lock, streaming without punctuation, some of it indecipherable, some of it from me. It’s happening kids / MERRY IXMAS, EVERYONE / I'm trying to remember it's called Star Wars Celebration not Star Wars oh my god I'm so stressed-ebration / I AM READY TO BE EPISODE IXed. The world around me is asleep, but the world under my thumb has never been more alive.

I take another sip of Lift Plus and feel its energy tingle through my bloodstream. Or maybe that sensation is the force.

When I was in class earlier in the day, wearing a Star Wars tee, writing in a Star Wars notebook and drinking from a Star Wars bottle, I was already stewing in anticipation. My mind was in another galaxy; speculation ran through me like shooting stars. My dedication to the Star Wars universe is fuelled not by the incessant marketing or the cheap merchandise, but by the passion I have for stories, space wizards, and the cute-yet-creepy alien bird race known as the Porgs.

Star Wars Celebration Chicago is set to begin livestreaming on YouTube in just a few minutes. A countdown slowly ticks on screen. This will be the first big panel of Celebration, and the one I am most eager to see. The panel is for Star Wars: Episode IX, consisting of a Q&A session with cast members. Our first real, palpable look at the film, at beloved returning characters, and the new additions, to hear from returning Director J.J. Abrams what his vision for IX is.

But the real reason anyone is staying up all night to watch the livestream isn’t to see Abrams dodge spoilery questions. It’s to be amongst the first to witness the Episode IX trailer. The very first teaser trailer. Imagine a choir singing angelic sounds behind that one word and maybe you’ll begin to understand. What I really want is to catch a glimpse of the upcoming film, to learn the title—oh my goodness, the title—along with thousands of far, far away fans; some watching live in the dead of night or crack of dawn. The lucky few are crowded into the panel room itself. I swipe through pixelated and blurry selfies posted with #SWCC. It’s a big auditorium, packed with media, families, and cosplayers, and many are swinging lightsabers above the crowd’s heads. Purple, blue, green, and red beams of light. The stage itself is lit up with a bright blue backdrop.

When I told my parents I was going to camp out in the living room to watch the livestream of Star Wars Celebration, they rolled their eyes. When I asked my brother if he wanted to join me, he cried, ‘Whyyy,’ before revealing his true colours when he showed up on the couch at 2am.

He was all too keen to eat my snacks, but now as time crawls forward, he seems to have come to the conclusion that it is ridiculous to stay up for something you can watch on your phone, from your bed, when you wake up. I have come to the conclusion that he is lying to himself. On the path to the dark side, perhaps.

He’s always joined me on my silly adventures, making fun of me along the way. But the fact that he’s willing to be there is enough, as he is now. Star Wars has been a part of his life as much as mine; we grew up roaring Chewbacca impressions and fighting with cardboard lightsabers; He’d be Darth Maul and I’d be Obi-Wan (so I got to chop him in half every time). Kids would tell me I was a weirdo for liking Star Wars, for playing with Barbies and Darth Vader figurines, blurring the lines between allocated girls’ or boys’ toys. But my brother and I knew: Star Wars is a fun space adventure for whoever wants to enjoy it.

We got older and the movies lost a touch of their magic: the internet revealed the intense hatred shovelled at the prequel trilogy. Little-me had loved the ridiculous Jar Jar Binks, but the middle-aged fans who grew up with the original trilogy saw him as an offence to their childhood obsession. (JUSTICE FOR JAR JAR is the hill I will die on.)

Then Disney bought Lucasfilm and ushered in a new era. I have a series of selfies from midnight premieres—me grinning from ear to ear, my brother with eyes closed and discontented frown (his go-to photo pose)—in the blurry light of the Imax screen on Queen Street. But one glance at his smiling face during the film and you know he loves this galaxy as much as the next fan.

Sometimes that’s the problem: our love for this story is so great and so ingrained, that it can bubble over into endless online debates. Debates become heated, become personal, become hateful. In this era of social media, everyone has a voice, but the ones who spit poison are the loudest. We struggle to find common ground sometimes. But it’s always there, beneath out feet and on our TV screens. We love Star Wars. We love to watch it, re-enact it, dissect it, wear it, read it, and write about it. Whether the common ground we stand on looks like the sands of Tatooine or the lake country of Naboo, it’s all the same galaxy. Even though the galaxy-shattering film The Last Jedi threatened to destroy us, we can find a way to stand together. Because when the fans unite, at movie premieres, or conventions, the fandom can become something worth celebrating.

Like today, right now, 3:59am in my living room.

I look up from my phone. The countdown reaches zero. I hold my breath. A soft echo of music trickles through the speakers, and John Williams’ familiar score wraps around me like a blanket. Goose bumps pop up on my skin.

The Star Wars logo vanishes and the screen cuts to black. I snap up and nudge my sleeping brother’s arm with my toe. He jolts awake, looks at the black screen and scowls.

‘Nothing’s hap—’

He’s cut off by a roaring applause as the blue-lit panel stage lights up the screen. The room around me fades. I’m in Auckland with my brain fuzzy, and I’m transported to Chicago with heart thumping.

My brother jumps up and stands in front of the screen. ‘I’m going to the bathroom.’

I babble, ‘butthepanelisabouttostart,’ craning my neck around his legs.

‘Oh well,’ he says. He walks off.

Stephen Colbert is pacing around the stage, babbling on about Dagobah and S-foils, trying to work the crowd up—unnecessary, since we are all waiting for the cast and crew.

I’m leaning forward, straining my eyes, and wondering if anyone actually finds his ‘jokes’ funny. Twitter tells me, yes, they do. The excitement level is high, making everything fresh and exciting, even if it’s a Star Wars pun heard years ago. I almost feel like I could twist my neck and hear people whispering behind me, instead of tweeting alongside me.

The closest thing to this feeling in my own city is Armageddon Expo, the annual convention at the ASB Showgrounds in Greenlane. Nerds I’ve never met become my best friends. We jam the halls like squashed-up skittles. I don’t know their names but I know who they are. When I’m dressed in Rey’s dusty scavenger outfit, with staff in hand and hair bunched in three bobbles, young girls point and giggle. I wave at them, their eyes wide with wonder, and my heart is full.

The internet fandom space is a mix of tweet-before-thinking garbage and fun bite-sized meta. The real-world fandom spaces, such as Armageddon, are a big geeky party; no one hiding behind an anonymous wall, and no one left out.

This livestream is somewhere in between. I am connected online from where I sit in Auckland. Reading tweets and writing tweets and liking gifs. Yet I am in Chicago, oblivious to the sleeping city around me.

Stephen Colbert brings out Director J.J. Abrams and head of Lucasfilm Kathleen Kennedy, and the content we’re all waiting for finally begins. I take in every detail, every non-answer. I enjoy it. I loathe it. Stephen Colbert asks unanswerable questions, like the fate of Daisy Ridley’s character, or how the relationships develop. No word is uttered more than ‘spoilers’.

The cast members are introduced onto the stage; first is Anthony Daniels who plays C-3PO—one of the remaining few original cast members from 1977. He waves hello to the crowd before looking for the cameras. In his charming British accent, he says, ‘On tweets today people were, all over the world, saying “wish I could be here”. And I know we’re on camera, so I don’t know where the camera is, but whoever is in Australia or…’ He pauses for a flicker of a second, ‘…all the other countries around the planet; I wanna give you a big wave, and you are here in spirit. Okay?’

I grin a little wider. Of course he would mention our neighbour, Australia. So close, and yet so far.

In New Zealand, despite the growing connections through social media, I feel isolated. Even in the vast Auckland city, where I easily get lost in the busy roads and busy people. New Zealand is separate. And that’s part of what makes it special.

But the isolation is also part of what makes being part the Star Wars fandom special.

It’s a larger world. Out there in space; out there in the world wide web. Legendary or anonymous, you can be a part of something. You can tell your story; you can make one up. After movie premieres, there is a sense of privilege and power in that none of my fellow fans in America have yet seen the movie. The Last Jedi came here a few days early, and I knew all the things before anyone else. We were isolated again. And it felt so good.

Did I go and post spoilers? No, because I’m not an asshole (you know who you are). But I told people they’re gonna love it. I told them the film is exciting and unexpected and dabbles deliciously in subtext in a way that’s fresh for Star Wars. I sign off with eagerness for the upcoming dissection and discussion of the film.

The next day I’m shocked to learn that many many many people felt it was a ‘betrayal’ of Star Wars. A disaster of a movie. A cluttered mess of a story, an anti-climactic sequel that instead of building on what came before, tore the past to shreds. My brother is one of them.

And the fandom split in two.

But not today. Not tonight. I refuse, and so does everyone on my Twitter feed, because we’re tired of defending Rey, who is not a Mary Sue; and Vice Admiral Holdo, whose purple hair does not make her a lesser fighter; and Rose Tico, who fell victim to dude-bros saying she’s the worst character ever, she ruined their childhood, and Asians don’t belong in Star Wars; until eventually the actress, Kelly Marie Tran, deleted all her social media.

When Kelly walks onto the panel stage, she gets a standing ovation. There are tears in her eyes, and there are tears in mine.

They introduce the new cast members, and display behind the scenes photos, and babble on about the brilliant practical effects. There’s a touching tribute to Carrie Fisher, an awkward bit about Adam Driver’s chest, and the introduction of new droid D-O. When the duck-inspired droid rolls onto the stage, you can hear cash registers ring.

My brother comes back in the room as the panel is winding up. He flops into the chair and sighs. ‘So, did I miss anything?’

‘You missed everything.’

‘So I didn’t miss anything then,’ he smirks.

Stephen Colbert asks J.J. Abrams if there’s anything he wants to leave with the fans. I lean forward. ‘This is it,’ I screech.

This is it. It boils down to this simple, repeated moment in time: the day, or night, or very-early-morning that a Star Wars trailer is about to debut. I am alone, and yet so very not alone, united in a nerdy passion that doesn’t call for such depth of devotion. But here we all are. Here I am. And here’s Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker (omg).

I switch off the TV. The darkness eats my eyeballs.

‘How am I supposed to sleep after that!?’ I yell. ‘Palpatine. Freaking Pal-pa-tine! NO! YES! Why?!’

Silence.

My brother is asleep.

I throw a pillow at him. ‘DUDE! Palpatine is back!’

He mumbles, ‘Haha, lame.’ His eyes don’t open.

I slide down the couch until I hit the hard floor. The Rise of Skywalker. Doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue. I sit there in the lonely living room, and let my thoughts trail off into the dark.

#star wars #writing #my writing #the rise of skywalker #swcc #star wars celebration #star wars essay #personal essay #creative nonfiction #tros #writeblr #sw

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nicolemagolan · 4 years

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Book Review: ‘The Travelling Cat Chronicles’ by Hiro Arikawa

“At that moment, we were without doubt the greatest travellers in the world. And I was the world’s greatest travelling cat.”

The Travelling Cat Chronicles is a wholesome and heart-warming tale of a cat and his owner; a simple and slowly sorrowful story in the way many pet-centric stories are. I started reading it months ago, enjoying the feline mischief and cosy setting. But after my cat of thirteen years went missing, this story took on new meaning.

#book review #the travelling cat chronicles #cats #books #booklr

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nicolemagolan · 4 years

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The Stories That Resonated: My Favourite Books of 2019

In 2019, I read a total of 106 books. A lot of fantasy & sci-fi, and a lot of comics -- more comics than I've ever read in one year before (they're great for reading between assignments). You can have a look at my Goodreads challenge for the full list of books!

Narrowing down my favourite books of the year to just ten was a challenge, but I decided to commit to the top ten format. Maybe you'll find something new to try in this stack!

#books #booklr #reading wrap up #happy new year #favourite books of 2019 #book recs

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nicolemagolan · 4 years

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Why ‘The Rise of Skywalker’ Left Me Feeling Miserable

This my spoiler-filled review Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker. Only read on if you have seen the movie, or you don’t care about having it all spoiled!

What happens when you hire a director whose method of storytelling is setting up mystery box after mystery box to create the finale of your series?

You end up with a movie that sets up more questions than answers. You end up with answers that go for shock value over narrative cohesion. You end up with a messy conclusion that backpedals or ignores characters, set-ups, and revelations from the last movie — the most obvious example is the irrelevance of Rose Tico. The promising array of story threads left open after The Last Jedi are nowhere to be seen as the director winks at the audience and says, remember the things you’ve seen in Star Wars? Wanna see them again? You like Star Wars, dontcha?

I do like Star Wars. I like that it’s a grand fairytale set in space with robots and wizards. I like that it’s tragic and cheesy and hopeful. I love the characters, and how they are the true heart of the epic franchise.

#star wars #the rise of skywalker #the rise of skywalker spoilers #tros #tros spoilers #tros review #review #movie review #my writing

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nicolemagolan · 4 years

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Spoiler Free Review: ‘Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker’ is a Chaotic Mess

Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker has the impossible task of concluding a story that already ended not once, but twice, with the eight movies that came before in the Star Wars franchise. Confusing, I know.

But the sequel trilogy which began in 2015 is what is really ending here.

#star wars #the rise of skywalker #tros #review #movie review #my writing

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nicolemagolan · 5 years

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I made a zine!

Over the last few months Ariel Bissett held a zine workshop which I was lucky enough to participate in! The experience was so much fun. I adored the little creative community we formed, and all the beautiful zines that were made.

My zine, ‘How To Play Monopoly’ is a comedic poem set out like a game instruction manual. I would love if you gave it a read. Find a link to the PDF -- and allllll the other zines made during the workshop, HERE on Ariel’s website! <3 Let me know what you think.

Thank you @arielbissett and all the peeps in the Zine Dream team!

#zine #writing #poetry #my poetry #monopoly #how to play monopoly #zine dream #my writing #writeblr #poems

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nicolemagolan · 5 years

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Update! I’m going to stop doing the monthly reading wrap ups until I can find a way I enjoy doing them! If you ever want to keep up with what I’m reading, follow me on Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/18255003-nicole-magolan

I’m still reading plenty and there are some awesome books included...you’ll definitely being seeing them pop up when I discuss my favourite books at the end of the year!

#update

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nicolemagolan · 5 years

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View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Nicole Magolan (@nicolemagolan) on Sep 30, 2019 at 7:32pm PDT

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#books #booklr #book edit

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nicolemagolan · 5 years

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View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Nicole Magolan (@nicolemagolan) on Sep 30, 2019 at 5:40am PDT

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#books #booklr #bookish art #reading

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nicolemagolan · 5 years

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Books I Read In August 2019

A busy, busy month indeed...I took solace in some nice and easy reads, and plenty of comics. Enjoyed myself, but am looking forward to getting some harder hitting stuff next month. Read on for individual reviews!

Spider-Gwen: Ghost Spider (single issues 5-9) by Seanan McGuire

4/5 stars

So I read a bunch of single issues all lumped together (not all are pictured above) and enjoyed them immensely. The story line was well-done and I continue to enjoy the bright art style and characterization of Gwen. Looking forward to reading more Spider-Gwen!

Star Wars: Queen’s Shadow by E.K. Johnston

2.5/5 stars

I love the concept of this book, following Padme on her journey transitioning from a Queen to a senator, but the execution failed. It was very boring, nothing much happened. There were inklings of interesting things (such as the inclusion of one particular Clone Wars character...) but they didn’t go anywhere.

E.K. Johnston’s Star Wars books don’t seem to agree with me.

Star Wars: Lost Stars, Vol. 1 by Yusaku Komiyama (Art and Adaptation), Claudia Gray (Original Story)

2/5 stars

I feel about this manga adaptation about the same as I do about the original Lost Stars novel: it’s fine.

Again, But Better by Christine Riccio

4/5 stars

This book isn’t really that good but I read it at the perfect time. I was straight-up crying on the bus. That’s how much it resonated with me. I am already rereading it, and trying to wrap my head around my emotions so I can write a proper review. Stay tuned, it will be popping up on the blog soon!

Star Wars, Vol. 10: The Escape by Kieron Gillen, Salvador Larroca (Illustrator)

2/5 stars

Even though I jumped into a random volume and didn't have to context of what had been going on in the series, this was easy to follow and fairly entertaining. I feel like this particular comic is quite episodic. But...I had to get rid of a star for the disturbing shot of a shirtless Han Solo. I am scarred for life.

Star Wars: Captain Phasma by Kelly Thompson, Marco Checchetto (Illustrator)

2/5 stars

The artwork in this is STUNNING, but unfortunately the same can not be said for the story. There are some good ideas --- Phasma is hunting down the few people who know she is responsible for lowering the shields on Starkiller base, and leading it to its doom. Sounds like a fun time, in theory. But the plot involves sea monsters and random characters who are there with no context. I had no idea what was happening or why for most of the time. The story is trying to redeem Phasma and make her into the badass character she seemed to be before she turned out to be kinda lame in TFA. I wish it had gotten there. But still, this is worth reading for the art alone.

This Cruel Design (This Mortal Coil #2) by Emily Suvada

3/5 stars

Continues the story from the first book well, but holds a little too tightly to familiar YA tropes and angst. I find myself not so invested in this story anymore. Probably will pass on book #3.

That’s it for August! I have some good ones in store for September...ooooh boy do I. See you then!

#reading wrap up #books #booklr #star wars #star wars books #sw books #spider-gwen #again but better #this cruel design

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nicolemagolan · 5 years

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‘Weathering With You’ Movie Review: A Mesmerising Love Letter to Tokyo

Ah, anime. I am by no means an expert on the medium but if there’s one thing to come from it that I think is worth celebrating, it’s the 2016 masterpiece, Your Name.

Your Name. is one of the greatest movies of all time. You can fight me on that. It’s a beautiful, immersive, emotional animated movie. (I should probably get around to reviewing it, huh? But how does one put into words such love for a film!) Weathering With You is director Makoto Shinkai’s follow-up. BUT IS IT AS GOOD?

#weathering with you #anime #anime review #review #movie review #eating fiction #your name

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nicolemagolan · 5 years

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my favourite things // books: inkheart by cornelia funke

middle grade fantasy

captures the magic of books & stories

dustfinger was the first morally grey character to steal my heart

atmospheric & adventurous

“books have to be heavy because the whole world’s inside them.”

#I love inkheart

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nicolemagolan · 5 years

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Books I Read In July 2019

The wonderfully long break between semesters meant I had plenty of reading time this month. The books pictured above aren’t even all of them -- there are five more books that I read during the week of the Reading Rush readathon. There was so much good stuff this month, read on to see my thoughts!

Peter Parker: The Spectacular Spider-Man by Chip Zdarsky (Text), Joe Quiñones (Illustrator), Mike Allred (Illustrator)

4/5 stars

I had such a fun time with this! I randomly picked it up at the library (I've pretty much given up trying to read these things in any sort of order) and was surprised how comprehensible it was. A simple and entertaining time travel story with super-villain shenanigans and the great J. Jonah Jameson yelling all over the place (definitely the highlight of this volume). I might even attempt to continue the series? Or maybe I'll just read whatever is on the shelf.

The Vanishing Stair (Truly Devious #2) by Maureen Johnson

4/5 stars

This sequel continues the series well, and it was within these pages I realised how much I had come to care about the characters. I was rooting for them, totally on board with their adventure, and constantly trying to work out the mystery with them.

This book ended on ANOTHER cliffhanger which was annoying, and again, I don’t think it was a very good one. And now begins the long wait for book 3!

The Walking Dead, Issue #193 by Robert Kirkman

4/5 stars

Wow. This issue changed everything...literally. If you are a TWD fan in any regard, you better get caught up before someone spoils this for you. I feel cheated, disappointed, relieved, saddened, frustrated, nostalgic, and most of all, grateful.

Inkheart by Cornelia Funke

5/5 stars

I’ve now read this childhood favourite four times. This time around I read it aloud to my little brother. It was a magical experience, and we both loved the story.

Inkheart is adventurous, enchanting, and full of the wonder of reading. This is a book for book lovers. And as a lover of books, I loved this book.

Eliza and Her Monsters by Francesca Zappia

4/5 stars

I've read a few books similar to this that tackle the weird world of fandom. None have been done so well or resonate so strongly with me as this one. It didn't fall into cringe, as fictional depictions of fandoms often do, and it took some dark but powerful dramatic turns that brought out the true heart of the story. My heart ached for the main character. Though typical YA in some aspects, this is an absolute gem of a book. Highly recommend.

A Brother’s Bond (The Khalada Stone #2) by Russell Meek

3/5 stars

A Brother's Bond is a chunky fantasy read, with a slow-moving and intensely detailed plot, a vast cast of characters, and a compelling sibling relationship between the two leads. It took me a few weeks to get through, as it has been a whiiiiile since I read the first book and there is a lot going on in this series. It's high fantasy -- very Lord of The Rings-y, that follows brothers Ohrl and Faerl as they journey through the desert, searching for some magic stone things and meeting many people...most with ulterior motives. The plot of the book lowkey reminded me of the plot of Avengers: Infinity War. Everyone's racing to find these magic stones that are super powerful and all that. They hold the ability to control an army of the dead or something. It was a little hard to follow. The relationship between Ohrl and Faerl is what carries this book. It is the heart of the story, and I love seeing the sibling bond at the forefront. There's nuance to it as well, with Ohrl slowly being consumed by the rage that dwells in his mind (because of ancient spirits and stuff) and Faerl having his own desires and plans (also to do with ancient spirits and stuff). My favourite moments of the book are all related to the brother's bond. Hah, title. Noice. I also loved the action sequences. They were few and far between, but they were always thrilling and dramatic. Some got pretty gory, and it was glorious. I hope there are more to come in the next books! I'm looking forward to picking up A Dark Heart Rises soon.

THE READING RUSH happened this month and during the readathon I read 7 books, including Master & Apprentice and This Mortal Coil. For my thoughts on those and the other books I read that week see my Reading Rush Wrap-up!

These Precious Scars (This Mortal Coil #1.5) by Emily Suvada

3/5 stars

This was a short novella that acted as a prequel to This Mortal Coil, showing some insight into what the characters were up to before the novel. It was a nice read, but it didn’t really add anything to the overall story.

Wooooooo that’s my wrap up done and dusted. I’m looking forward to getting to some more sequels & such next month. See you around!

#reading wrap up #july wrap up #booklr #books #book review #spider-man #the vanishing stair #twd #the walking dead #inkheart #eliza and her monsters #a brother's bond #the reading rush #star wars #star wars: master and apprentice #master and apprentice #this mortal coil #these precious scars

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