Remember the friend I'm going go Edinburgh with in September?
Some time ago she asked me for a little tattoo motive, explained what she envisioned, I did what I could and sent three concepts her way.
Today she revealed the tattoo to me.
She has a tattoo of something I drew. With my handwriting too. This is so surreal to think about and simultaneously the sweetest thing ever.
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I have a headcannon which is that cat sometimes has nightmares where Philip catches Robyn and ends up doing the same thing to him that he did to Caleb 😭
A tug on his hair disrupted his peaceful sleep. The chirp of a cardinal getting ever more frequent and louder until Robyn couldn't ignore it anymore. He groaned, grimacing while turning the other way and gently swatting his palisman away but the white cardinal didn't surrender. She kept tugging on the loose strand of his brown hair desperately.
"Snowball, seriously, knock it off.", the boy groaned again. He opened his eyes a little and rose to sit when the bird still didn't stop trying to wake him.
"What is it?"
He rubbed his eyes while Snowball told him to listen closely. There's sounds coming from outside the room. They were dimmed but they were audible. He recognized it was his mother who was the source of those sounds.
"Ma?"
He froze for a second. It was crying he heard. Sobs in between exclamations to "Stop".
"Ma!"
Robyn leapt out of bed, tore the door open and made Snowball turn into her staff form. He was powerless on his own but through Snowball he was able to do minor spells still. It wasn't on par with his abilities before he lost his power but it was better than being empty handed.
He raced to his mother's room.
"Who's there?" he swung the door open, staff firmly in hand, ready to fight. Only there was no one in the room but his mother.
"Leave him alone! Don't hurt him!", Catherine yelled her head turning left and right on the pillow as if she was in pain. A nightmare, Robyn figured.
He let Snowball turn back to her normal form and ran to Catherine with a repeated "Mama" to wake her.
She was too deep in the nightmare however to take notice he was there. Instead her exclaims got louder and more desperate the more Robyn used "Mama". Genuinely scared and worried for her, he began shaking her.
"Mama!! Wake up! Ma-"
"NO!", she screamed and finally woke from the shock of the image her nightmare had given her.
Her scream frightened Robyn from its mere loudness and pain it carried. It was a cry of desperation more than a scream.
"Mama, shh! Shh, it's alright-"
"Caleb-"
"It was a nightmare. Just a nightmare. Deep breaths."
He ran his hands up and down her upper arm in attempt to comfort her. His expression softened into one of pity. She still dreamed of Caleb and his cruel fate. It never let her go and Robyn was well aware of that.
Catherine reached for her son and cupped his face in her palms, a sob escaping her chest.
"Robyn! Oh, my baby!"
"I'm here.", he confirmed. "Shhh. I'm here. I'm here. You only had a bad dream."
"He took you from me!", Catherine continued, checking every inch of her son's face with her palms. He was alright. No scars, no blood on the corners of his mouth, nothing indicating the reality of her gruesomely vivid dreams he was alright, "First Caleb and then you! I was too weak to save you- oh, Titan, forgive me! Forgive me, Robyn!"
She let out another sob as she buried her face in his shoulder. Her nails were digging into his arm, clinging to her baby. Gratitude wasn't fit enough of a word to describe what she felt as she realized it was only a nightmare and that her little sprout was right there. Alive. Breathing into her hair. Wrapping his arms around her shoulders.
Robyn slowly began to piece together what her nightmare tortured her with. She not only relived her husband's death but was forced to watch her son - her only son - meet the same or a similar fate.
"I have nothing to forgive you for. It's alright, Mama. I promise.", he said softly.
"I keep failing to protect you. I keep failing...", Catherine hicced.
Robyn held his breath for a second.
"This wasn't the first time you dreamed that?"
"No...", she took a heavy breath.
Her quiet sobs were the only sound in the room. Her forehead on his shoulder, she thought about whether or not to tell him more. She didn't want Robyn to see her like that or even less worry him. But he wasn't a little child anymore either and it would be a delusion to think he never noticed her heartache.
"I've been having this nightmare since you were an infant. Just shortly after your birth."
"Mama...", Robyn tightened his embrace as he whispered the words, "I'm so sorry."
None of them said anything more. None of them expected more to be said. They just sat there. Mother and son holding each other. One in relief, the other in comfort.
As for the moment the mutual embrace was enough.
And what else could they do but that?
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To the долбоёб who kept staring between my best friends legs while in the tram the one day she decided to wear a dress where she felt pretty again, which now made her cry at my kitchen table: Fuck. You. I hope your life will be as miserable and foul as you are.
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