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elrielmonth · 3 years

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😭 😭 😭 😭

𝐸𝓁𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓁 𝑀𝑜𝓃𝓉𝒽 - 𝒴𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓁𝒾𝓅𝓈 𝑜𝓃 𝓂𝓎 𝓈𝒸𝒶𝓇𝓈

“𝘈𝘻𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘭, 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘦𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘳, 𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘯 𝘢𝘳𝘮. 𝘐 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥𝘯’𝘵 𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘪𝘧 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘭𝘶𝘦 𝘚𝘪𝘱𝘩𝘰𝘯 𝘰𝘳 𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘴𝘬𝘪𝘯 𝘣𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩 𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘥, “𝘉𝘦𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘶𝘭.”

𝘊𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘳 𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘥 𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘩 𝘰𝘯 𝘈𝘻𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘭’𝘴 𝘨𝘰𝘭𝘥𝘦𝘯-𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘦𝘬𝘴, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥”

𝘈 𝘊𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘞𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘙𝘶𝘪𝘯

"In one moment he was far away, listening while she spoke above the loud rain, like her heart was being poured out in that garden, in front of him. In the next he was in front of her, holding her pink cheeks with his scarred hands, hands she always thought to be beautiful, no matter what. Elain sobbed softly, and something seemed to break on the shadowsinger’s face, his thumb caressing her face, but she didn’t say anything. She just looked at him, starring into his soul through his eyes, cherishing his touch, even if it would be the only thing she would feel from him.

Azriel seemed to do the same, memorizing every single part of her face while she blushed, but Elain wasn’t going to move away, wasn’t going to shy from him. Never.

Her body trembled slightly, her hands raising and touching atop of his on her face. Azriel stiffened with her touch, her palm and fingers feeling every single scar on his skin, but Elain didn’t mind. She was in love with every part of him, including them. Including his marks.

If she could, she would kiss away the suffering they brought him, all the pain he most have felt… She would take them for herself if possible. But would never balk away, never shy from his touch. The marks didn’t make him less perfect, didn’t change at all the way she saw him… Beautiful.

He was beautiful."

#elrielmonth #elrielmonth21 #pro elriel #elriel #day 2

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elrielmonth · 3 years

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🖤 our favorite spies 🖤

𝐸𝓁𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓁 𝑀𝑜𝓃𝓉𝒽 - 𝒮𝓅𝒾𝑒𝓈 𝒶𝓉 𝓌𝑜𝓇𝓀

“𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘮𝘦,” 𝘌𝘭𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘣𝘦𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘳, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘕𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘢 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘦𝘥, 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘢𝘤𝘩. 𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘌𝘭𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘰𝘦, 𝘸𝘰𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘧 𝘴𝘩𝘦’𝘥 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘵𝘩 𝘦𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘈𝘻𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘭 𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘸𝘰 𝘩𝘢𝘭𝘧-𝘸𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘴 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴.”

𝘈 𝘊𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘚𝘪𝘭𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘍𝘭𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘴

"I heard you."

Elain let out a soft breath, her lips pursing to the side.

"That's unfair. You always does."

Azriel let out a soft laugh, shaking his head. Turning around, he faced her, reaching his hand to hers and pulling her towards him, sitting her on his lap. Elain put her arms around his shoulders, hugging him softly.

"It's this a bad thing?"

The Shadowsinger's voice was serene, his fingers moving slowly up and down her spine. She shook her head, a sigh coming out of her lips.

"No. It isn't..." Elain touched his face, her thumb caressing the side of his jaw until she raised her eyebrows. "But when I'm actually trying to not be heard... Then it is!"

He chuckled, a small sound of joy while he hugged her tighter.

"You're getting much better. You know that. You scared Cassian last week." Azriel raised his eyebrows, and now it was time for Elain to laugh.

She remembered Cassian in the library, close to where the whiskey was. He was filling his cup when she came in, and quietly said: Hello.

Apparently he hadn't heard her come in, and the big Illyrian almost jumped, spilling some of the whiskey on the floor. Elain smiled with the memory.

"Indeed I did." She bit her lower lip and he touched it, releasing it from her teeth. Elain just stared at him, until she finally, in a whisper, said. "But I'll scare you next."

Azriel laughed again, watching her. And then he nodded, like he didn't question it at all, like nothing in him hesitated in believing her. That made her heart beat even faster.

"Yes you will." He said softly, caressing her hair until he cupped her face. "My lovely little spy."

She opened her mouth, and then closed it. And she just smiled in the end, giving him a small kiss before looking at him again.

"That I am."

A small whisper, and another kiss. And then she stood up, listening to his small groan.

"And as a... Spectacular spy that I am... I need to keep practicing. So stand up. Come on."

Azriel just stared at her, holding a small smile, and so he did, standing from the table her was working on, reading and finishing reports.

"Right. Let's practice then, Love."

Elain only inclined her head, and slowly moved further from him to prepare.

"Show me what you got."

#elrielmonth #elrielmonth21 #elriel #pro elriel #day 3

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elrielmonth · 3 years

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💘 💘 💘 amazing!

𝐸𝓁𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓁 𝑀𝑜𝓃𝓉𝒽 - 𝑀𝑒𝑒𝓉 𝓂𝑒 𝒾𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓈𝒾𝓁𝑒𝓃𝒸𝑒

"𝘙𝘩𝘺𝘴 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘸𝘭𝘦𝘥, "𝘈𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘤𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘳. 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘺 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘩𝘦𝘳."

"𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯'𝘵 𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵.”

“𝘖𝘩, 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭.”

𝘼𝙯𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙡 𝙋𝙊𝙑

She said quietly, closing the door behind her. Elain looked up, and there he was.

The beautiful Shadowsinger, standing in the middle of that dark room filled only with moonlight. Her breath caught.

Azriel was still dressed as he was in the ball, as she was too, the lilac dress that she kept only because of him.

He nodded, one single movement of his head.

"I know.”

She inclined her head, a soft chuckle leaving her lips

"Of course you do."

Elain didn't stop herself, and in a soft breath she ran towards him, throwing herself into his arms. Azriel seemed to let out a breath too, holding her as tightly as she did him.

They wanted this for hours. They wanted this since they've seen each other in the ballroom for Nesta's birthday party and they couldn't be together. They couldn't touch, couldn't dance, couldn't talk, couldn't even look in each other's direction because Lucien was there. Rhysand was there. And they couldn't know. None of them could know how they were meeting in secret, how they were seeing each other when everyone was asleep, when the whole world was off and the starts burned brighter, and only the Mother herself could watch them.

They've been doing it for months, and each day that passed seemed to make it even harder for them to - at day time - stay away. So they counted every hour, every minute, every second for those few moments they would share in the middle of the night.

Like they were doing right now. Like she wished they could've done all day. With a tiny breath, Elain said:

"Would you dance with me?"

Azriel looked at her, surprise shone in his eyes by the sudden question. But with a small smile on his lips, he nodded, pulling her up. He settled her feet on top of his own, a hand on her waist while he grabbed her other, and slowly... He started to move.

One side, to the other.

Elain sighted, resting her head on his shoulder.

And so they danced.

They didn't need music, didn't need anything else another than this.

Than them being right there, in each other's arms.

Their small forever, their lovely secret.

#elrielmonth21 #elrielmonth #pro elriel #elriel #day 5

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elrielmonth · 3 years

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🤩 🤩

𝐸𝓁𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓁 𝑀𝑜𝓃𝓉𝒽 - 𝐹𝑜𝓇𝒷𝒾𝒹𝒹𝑒𝓃

“𝘏𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘺𝘦𝘳 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘱𝘦𝘵, 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘵 𝘥𝘰𝘰𝘳.

𝘌𝘭𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘱𝘦𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘶𝘱 𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘵, 𝘴𝘰𝘭𝘦𝘮𝘯 𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘦.

𝘈𝘻𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘭 𝘴𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘧𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘭𝘺. “𝘞𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘯?”

𝘼 𝘾𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙒𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙍𝙪𝙞𝙣

She didn't remember rain as heavy as this one... Ever.

Not in Vellaris at least. The water was falling down from the clouds above heavily, wetting the plants and herself. It happened so suddenly, she was tending to the garden outside of the river house when she felt the first drop on her nose, and two second later she was completely soaked.

Elain didn't mind, not in the least. She liked feeling the cold rain on her skin, but she ran all the same, holding her dress while she tried to get inside. But something pulled her to side in the middle of her little journey.

Someone did.

Azriel.

He put a hand in front of her mouth, them both behind a giant rose bush that covered just about Azriel's head. He was also soaked, wearing his Illyrian uniform, probably just back from a mission. Slowly, he took his hand out of her mouth.

"You shouldn't be out in this rain."

His voice was deep and calm, but she laughed, the sound covered by the sounds of the storm and thunders around them, letting them have that moment, these secret minutes they weren't supposed to have.

"I was going inside when someone pulled me here."

She could swear his lips pursed upward, a small glimpse of a smile.

"Really?" Aziel's low voice made something vibrate inside of her, like a million butterflies flying around. "That someone sounds awful."

Elain laughed again, but slowly, she shook her head, reaching up until she touched his face, raising herself on her tip toes.

"No.. He is not."

And so she kissed him. She wasn't supposed to, by the cauldron, she couldn't even be seen close to him. She knew why, she knew what Rhysand said, what could happen to the court, what could happen regarding Lucien... But these moments... These small, precious moments... These were all she had. The closest to happiness she would be.

So she took it. And she cherished every single moment with him.

Azriel hugged her tighter, pressing her chest to his while his lips moved together with hers. Rain kept falling, covering them, but the only thing that mattered to both was that kiss, that feeling of belonging to each other, even thought she was promised to someone else.

A loud thunder sounded, making Elain slightly jump in surprise. Azriel softly chuckled against her mouth, and she did the same, smiling on his lips.

"You should go in."

He said with such care in his voice that she felt like melting in his arms, just wanting to stay there forever.

"Will I see you tonight?"

It was almost a whisper, a question she really wanted to hear the answer to. He didn't at first, only kept quiet, holding her close while listening to the rain pouring around. Until finally, his voice broke through the heavy storm.

"Yes."

And she knew he needed her. Needed her just like she needed him. Like breathing was easy when he was around, like her world was better just by him being there.

Elain didn't realize she was holding her breath until she let it out, nodding.

"I'll wait for you."

Always.

It's what she wanted to add but didn't, only raised her eyes to his one more time, and then kissed him.

One more time, she felt his mouth, his warmth, his touch, for one more minute she felt his body close to hers, felt his hands holding her waist. Until they let go.

Elain touched his face, caressing his cheek one more time...

Until slowly, she slipped away. Running back to the house.

#elriel #elrielmonth21 #elrielmonth #pro elriel #day 4

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elrielmonth · 3 years

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🥺 🥺 so heartwarming 🥺

𝐸𝓁𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓁 𝑀𝑜𝓃𝓉𝒽 - 𝐹𝒾𝑒𝓁𝒹 𝑜𝒻 𝐹𝓁𝑜𝓌𝑒𝓇𝓈

“𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘸?” 𝘌𝘭𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘥, 𝘢𝘵 𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘺 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘮𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘨𝘰 𝘢𝘴 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘥𝘳𝘪𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘴 𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘯𝘯𝘺 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘵. 𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘸, 𝘣𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘦𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘵 𝘶𝘱 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘈𝘻𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘭’𝘴 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘴 𝘢𝘤𝘳𝘰𝘴𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘰𝘰𝘮. “𝘐 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘶𝘪𝘭𝘥 𝘢 𝘨𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘯,” 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘤𝘭𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘥. “𝘈𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 … 𝘐 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘴 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘨𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘴.”

𝘼 𝘾𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙩 𝙊𝙛 𝙒𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙍𝙪𝙞𝙣

"Hurry up!"

Azriel chuckled as he was watching her go, running in the middle of that field as if it was the happiest moment of her life. Dusk was starting to set, the sky in beautiful hues of pink, blue and purple made the vision of Elain - among the hundreds of flowers in that field - look even more beautiful. Like a painting he would ask Feyre to make him, an image he would want actually hang on their house, not only safe in his dreams.

His wife smile grew even wider as she - one more time - looked back, staring at him, but before she could talk, probably calling him one more time, Azriel finally did like she said: he hurried. Running towards her.

Elain let out a small scream along side a laugh, running away from him. He laughed too, and reached her in a few steps.

Azriel held her from behind, pulling her towards him while she was still laughing, her feet out of the ground as he spun them around, letting their bodies fall to the ground as another little scream left her lips.

They were both chuckling while laying in the middle of the flowers, their fall softened because of the fluffy grass.

"It's that what you wanted?"

She turned her face towards his, bitting her lower lip while she slowly stopped laughing and nodded.

"Yes." Her voice was nothing more than a whisper, like a summer breeze touching his cheek. "That's exactly what I wanted."

Him.

Them. Together.

That was what she would always want.

With a smile on his face, he held her again and kissed her. Kissed his wife's lips in the middle of that beautiful field close to their home.

It was what he wanted too.

Her.

Them. Together.

Always.

#elrielmonth #elrielmonth21 #pro elriel #elriel #day 6

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elrielmonth · 3 years

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😍 😍 😍

One More Fantasy

WORD COUNT: 419

SUMMARY: Azriel and Elain decide to have a more intimate moment in the garden.

Warnings: NSFW

Okay, first of all, I want to apologize for any grammatical mistakes. English is not my native language, so I did it in Portuguese (my native language) and then I translated to English. I hope you like it!

Elriel Month Day 6: Field Of Flowers

Azriel and Elain were in the garden, planting the new flowers that Elain had ordered.

"Am I doing it right?" asked Azriel. He was trying to do his best to plant his beloved's plants properly. He didn't want to disappoint her.

"Yes, everything is fine." she said, smiling. Azriel was all dirty. Poor thing.

They continued to plant the flowers. From roses to violets, from daisies to sunflowers. All possible types.

When they were finished, Elain lifted her body and looked out over the entire garden.

"Everything is so beautiful." she said, with passion in her voice and in her eyes.

Azriel then looked at her and smiled, he was so in love with her. He took her face and turned it around until she could face him. Then he came over and kissed her.

A beautiful and gentle kiss. Slow as the present wind.

Until Elain took the male's neck and deepened the kiss. They lay down, not even worrying that they would get even more dirty, Elain on top of Azriel. She shrugged her legs and then moved one to either side of Azriel's body, sitting on his lap, while they were still kissing.

Then Azriel put his hands on Elain's ass, squeezing it. Elain shifted, which made Azriel moan.

"We are very exposed. Do you really want to do this?" he asked, moving his hands to Elain's waist.

She just kissed him one more time and started pulling on his shirt. It was all the answer he needed.

With him shirtless, Azriel put his hands on her back and started to untie Elain's corset. She loved them, and Azriel loved her with them, but even more, he loved taking them out of her body.

He removed the corset and T-shirt, leaving her naked from the waist up. Then, he turned them over, staying on top. He put his mouth on one of Elain's nipples, the other between his fingers. Elain murmuring.

He stayed like that for a long time, until he moved his mouth to her neck, while Elain opened his pants far enough and removed his member outside. He then pulled her skirt up, moving her panties to the side and penetrated her.

They were connected. Their bodies moving at the same pace. The fast breaths, the flowers scenting them, the earth soiling them, the shadows of Azriel covering them, helping the trees to do the job.

Then, the two climaxed, spilling into each other.

Elain put her head on Azriel's neck and placed a kiss there.

Another fantasy completed.

If you liked it, please reblog it. It helps me a lot! ♡

#elrielmonth #elrielmonth21 #pro elriel #elriel #day 6

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elrielmonth · 3 years

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😍 😍

Elriel Month Day 6: Field of Flowers

#elrielmonth #elrielmonth21 #pro elriel #elriel #day 6

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elrielmonth · 3 years

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🤩 🤩

Elriel Month | Day 4: Forbidden

WORD COUNT: 1096

CONTENT WARNING: GRAB A TISSUE

SONG SUGGESTION: “DANCING WITH YOUR GHOST” - SASHA SLOAN

“Allow me to make one thing very clear. You are to stay away from her.”

“You can’t order me to do that.”

Forbidden

AZRIEL

“Allow me to make one thing very clear. You are to stay away from her.”

“You can’t order me to do that.”

Azriel seethed. Of all people he expected to challenge him, to stand in the way of his happiness, he never imagined that it would be Rhys.

He couldn’t explain now, couldn’t tell him about the glances, the touches, all of the ways they had connected over all this time when no one else was watching. Rhysand was furious and wouldn’t accept anything he offered now anyway.

“So you will leave Elain alone.”

“…if I see you panting after her again, I’ll make you regret it.”

His friend was nowhere in sight, no, this was an order directly from his High Lord.

He didn’t just have the power to make Azriel regret it, he held power over Elain too. Rhysand could send her away just as easily as he’d sent Nesta away, perhaps with Lucien as a means to secure their bond and those alliances that were so important to him now. Maybe it was for the best, the cauldron’s will, who was he to challenge it, who was he to expect any sort of happiness in this life after the things that he’d done.

“Get out.”

Azriel tucked in his wings and left, launching into the sky to feel the wind on his wings. It was the only thing that could make him feel anything right now. All of the hopes and feelings that sparked and hummed with hope and possibility just moments ago, they were just illusions of things he would never have, could never even hope to be worthy of. Better to finally accept it, to be cured of this foolishness and allow all of those hopes he’d held on to for so long to finally wither and die.

ELAIN

Azriel disappeared into his shadows and Elain stood there, frozen as the warmth from his body and his scent dissipated, leaving her cold and empty. It was suddenly so hard to breathe, she braced her hand on the wall and shook her head, tears pricking at her eyes.

Elain had finally done it, finally made a choice in this new life, had finally taken a risk-only it hadn’t seemed like such a risk. Offering her love to Azriel hadn’t seemed like a risk at all. She had been so sure, positive that she had read the signs right and that he felt the same way that she did. How had she misjudged it all so horribly? The mortification was overwhelming. He was just being nice, she had asked for his help and he’d helped her, he’d gone above and beyond to help her and she’d repaid him by creating some childish romantic fantasy in her mind. The shame roiled within her and she felt sick.

All it had taken was one Solstice gift and she’d lost her senses. She should be grateful that he was such a gentleman and that he hadn’t taken advantage of her after she’d practically thrown herself at him. Mortified, she was absolutely mortified. Would he tell Mor? Oh Gods, she’d known he was in love with Mor, would Mor tell Feyre? Would they all know by breakfast? Her heart clenched, already imagining the pitying looks all around the table the next morning. She’d seen them before, when they had all thought that she was going mad. He’d saved her then, rescued her from the hazy depths of her own mind. Not because he cared for her, but because he was kind and she was Feyre’s sister, that was all.

Elain forced herself to move, not wanting anyone to find her there, not wanting to have to explain what she was doing up at this hour. Could Lucien feel her through the bond now? Would he feel the breaking of her heart through that golden thread that always felt so tightly wrapped around her throat? What would she do if he came down to find her? She hurried up to her room, her heart racing until she was safely inside. The door clicked shut and all at once her control slipped away. She clamped her hands over her mouth to stifle the sob that threatened to choke her, her legs giving out as she slid down against the door, her whole body shaking as she sobbed. Elain gasped for air, feeling as if she were truly drowning in her own sorrow.

“No...please, not again. Not again.” She begged through her tears, shuddering as she felt that familiar darkness closing in on her. It gripped her like inky black claws, dragging her down to the darkest part of herself, and this time she wouldn’t have Azriel there to help her find her way back to the light.

The voice was always the same, whispers on the wind cooing sweet words of love that surrounded her heart like a gossamer veil before he turned on her, his words sharper than any blade.

“I belong to no one. But my heart belongs to you.”

“I don’t want it.”

“No…” she cried, pressing her hands over her ears as if it could quiet the cruel voice that was back to haunt her after so long.

“Take that ring off.”

“No.”

“Take. It. Off.”

“Take it off! ”

“Take it off..I have to take it off…” she whispered, her hand already clutching her finger where that ring had once been. “I have to take it off…” she said, scrambling to her feet and rushing back downstairs, her fingers fumbling with the clasp on the necklace, pain radiating in her chest as she finally pulled the delicate charm away from where it had lay so close to her heart. She could do it this time, she could let it go, let go of a love that had never been real, that had only existed in her own mind. Her hand shook as she lay the necklace atop Azriel’s pile of Solstice gifts, her fingers refusing to release it until she pried them open and it fell. Something inside screamed at her to pick it back up, to keep it close to her heart, but the feeling of the darkness closing in on her again sent her running back up to her room.

Elain crawled into bed and hugged the blankets to herself, sobbing into them as she struggled to hold onto any bit of light that she could. Nyx…Nesta’s newfound happiness…but one last whisper struck too hard and with one last anguished sob, the darkness engulfed her.

“…not you. Never you.”

#elrielmonth21 #elrielmonth #pro elriel #elriel #day 4

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elrielmonth · 3 years

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🤩 forbidden lovers 🤩

Elriel month - day 4

(Forbidden)

Word count- 430

Contain’s spoilers from the Az pov

It was night. The sky was filled with dark gray and blue, and the stars were shining bright as they always did. They had lit up and a stray of fae light had gone across the garden .

My garden, all done by me . My hands had splinter in them causing them to scar ,Similar to Azriel’s scar’s.

Azriel. I missed him so deeply, My heart felt whole around him and now it feels empty and lost. I keep replaying our moment over and over . “This is a mistake, he said.”But was it ? I could see how much he wanted this , how much he wanted me .

Maybe someone or something had stopped him? Or maybe he didn’t want me ? My heart ached at the thought of him never wanting me .

Footsteps were coming from behind me and the scent of mist and cedar filled my nose . He was here, after a month of avoiding me .

His footsteps had stopped and I turned around to see his eyes shot . He looked like he hasn’t gotten an ounce of sleep. Despite all of that he still looked beautiful.

His eyes went up and down my body until he met my eyes , they filled with pain. He turned to walk away but I spoke before he could leave . “Why have you been avoiding me ?”

He stilled, his body completely frozen. “Azriel, please look at me.” He turned around not saying a thing.

“Azriel why did you avoid me ?” He said in a low voice “I can’t tell you but I wish I could.” My heart sank and tears streams down my face . “Did you want to kiss me or was I just imagining it in my head?” His head shot up quickly as he said in an angry voice “of course I did Elain, but I can’t say why”.

“Who is forcing you to not say why you couldn’t kiss me ? Who has you so scared Az?” He opened his mouth and closed it , Silence enveloped between us . One month of him avoiding me and now ,complete silence.

“Say it Az, I said in a cold voice. You owe me that much.”

“It was Rhys. He told me to stay away from you, well more like threatened me . I wanted more than anything to kiss you”.

My guys twisted , I felt sick . “What did he say?” He said “ if I see you panting after her again, I’ll make you regret it.” Is that all he said? “No he brought up your mating bond and how Lucien has every right to defend the bond.”

My heart stopped dead in my chest. My mating bond ,It’s always my mating bond .” Elain, I have to go, I can’t be seen with you.” He turned to walk away but I grabbed his arm hard to keep him where he is. “Please don’t leave , I haven’t seen you in a month .”

“Rhys forbade me from seeing you Elain, I can’t be here”. Tears streamed down my face as I said “ he can’t see us right now Az . Just let me hug you.” He turned his body to me ,opening his arms and I stepped into them inhaling his mist and cedar scent. “ I missed you I whispered.” He held me tighter and buried his face into my neck. I knew he wouldn’t be able to voice his thoughts so I continued speaking “ you’re my best friend Az, I know you did this to protect me and I know you want to do right by Rhys but we deserve to be happy. We deserve to love each other without consequences.”

“Let us have this one moment, let us love each other with no prying eyes.” He held me tighter and I felt his tears drip down my neck as he spoke “why can’t I love you, Elain?” “I don’t know Az, but what I do know is that our love is forbidden. The world is against us but we have each other.”

“Forbidden love Az whispered.” “Yes I whispered back.

“I love you , Elain .

“I love you too, Az.

#elrielmonth21 #elrielmonth #pro elriel #elriel #day 4

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elrielmonth · 3 years

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🥰 🥰

Elriel Month-day 5

( meet me in the silence)

“Elain sat silently at one of the wrought-iron tables, a cup of tea before her. Azriel was sprawled up on the chaise lounge across the gray stones,sunning his wings and reading what looked like to be a stack of reports -likely information on the autumn court that he planned to represent to Rhys once he sorted through it all. Already dressed for when city-the brutal,beautiful armor so at odds with the lovely garden. And my sister sitting within it.”

#elrielmonth #elrielmonth21 #pro elriel #elriel #day 5

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elrielmonth · 3 years

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🌸 🌸 dying at “my love” 🌸 🌸

Elriel Month-day 6 (Field of flowers)

Word count-250

I was waiting in my room to get a message from Elain. My shadow gathered from across the room and came swirling around my ear and said “your lovely fawn is waiting for you in the garden , spymaster.”

My heart was beating as I walked fast towards the garden. My breath caught as I saw the sight of her . Her golden brown hair was glowing with the fae light. She was utterly beautiful, wearing a cobalt blue dress that showed her soft curves. Her hair was unbound and wavy , just how I liked it.

She turned around,eyes bright as the sun . She smiled instantly as she ran to me wrapping her legs around my waist and her arms around my neck. She whispered “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you more ,love.” We just held each other for what seemed liked hours before Elain let go of me . “ let’s lay down, she said.”I laid down first and she laid down putting her head against my chest . She intertwined our fingers together and said in a whisper “remember the headache powder I had gotten you for you on solstice?” I narrowed eyes at her as she continued to speak . “you opened my gift with a confused look on your face and all of a sudden you laughed like it had been the best thing you’ve received. Your eyes were so bright ,you looked happy.”

“Were you happy in that moment? Did I make you happy?” I looked into her eyes while my hand reached out to grab a jasmine flower. I put the small flower on the shell of her ear as I said “ yes, you made me happy. I stared at the tonic for a whole year after you gave it to me.” Her large brown eyes spilled out tears, I wiped the tears with my thumb and I said “you have always made me happy, even when I’m not aware of it .

She buried her face in my neck and breathed in my scent. “Sleep my love, I will wake you up when it’s time to go.” She nodded her head and whispered “I love you, Azriel.”

“I love you too , now close your eyes and sleep.”

I stared at her beautiful, innocent face and just knew I wanted to make her my wife.

#elrielmonth #elrielmonth21 #pro elriel #elriel #day 6

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elrielmonth · 3 years

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💟 💟 the confession 💟 💟

Meet Me In The Silence - Elriel Month Day 5

Delayed again, here is my short fic with the theme "meet me in the silence". Hope you like it!! ps: my first language isn't English, ignore any mistakes and be kind. @elrielmonth

"meet me in the silence"

Elain looked again at the small note in her hand before throwing it into the fireplace and watching the fire consume it. She looked at herself in the mirror again with a smile painting her lips, as she clung the cloak around her neck, it was almost time.

When the clock finally struck 12 clocks and the whole house was in that silence that was only found when everyone was asleep, Elain slowly opened the door and tiptoed across the hall to the farthest window of Feyre and Rhys's room. She could try to go down through the window of her own room, but the roses that were just below made it difficult to pass, which did not happen in that window she was going through now.

The note only had one word and luckily she knew very well what she meant, or rather, where she would have to go that night. It was always like that, a word, a coordinate, a flower and she knew exactly where she had to go. The schedule was always the same and she looked forward to those days, for those secret moments in the silence.

Camouflaging herself in the shadows of the house, she sneaked to the farthest part of the garden and finally winnowing. No one, except Azriel, knew that she was capable of that, and this little secret had been very useful in their clandestine meeting.

Smiling and feeling her heart racing in her chest, she finally arrived at her destination that night, a greenhouse that belonged to an elderly woman and that she had designed months ago. She loved going to tea with Miss. Blossom, who just like her name already said, loved flowers and plants as much as Elain and in one of her many conversations, the lady had a concern on Elain's part, after many doubts about whether it was safe to open her heart, the seer revealed that he was having trouble to meet her love, and the lady, more than happy, offered the greenhouse for these meetings. Miss. Blossom spent part of the month at the winter court in the company of her daughter and on those days she left the key to her own house in Elain's care so that she could take care of the plants, soon the arrangement fell off with a glove.

Azriel was standing in the darkness of the greenhouse, being lit only by the stars that filled the sky, and as soon as she approached, he turned with a smile on his lips.

"I felt you arrive"

Elain ran to him, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"One day I will still be able to surprise you" She said with her mouth practically glued to his and he smiled before closing the distance between them.

Hours later, the sky was starting to become lilac, with the dawn, and Elain sighed snuggling closer to Azriel's chest. They were lying on a blanket and their clothes were spread around them, Elain was wearing only Az's shirt and he kissed her forehead.

"It's time to go" His voice was calm, but she knew that moment hurt him as much as it hurt her.

Slowly he took his arm from her waist and she sat down, taking a small glass from her bag and taking a sip before holding it out to him. The glass contained an antidote to mask the scent of each other and they always took it as a precaution.

"I hate it" Az said putting an arm over his eyes and sighing. Elain got up to put on her dress, but he took her hand. "I hate having to hide to be with you when I want to do is scream to the world how much I love you"

She smiled and bent down to kiss him softly.

"Me too. But for now, those moments in silence are enough for me and I'll be glad to hear you whisper in my ear how much you love me"

He laughed and pulled her onto his lap, hugging her around the waist.

"I love you, I love you, I love you" He said softly in her ear, just as she had asked and she laughed, feeling her heart expand with so much love. Slowly she pulled away to look him in the eye.

"I love you too, Az. More than I can put into words, much more" She put their foreheads together and closed her eyes, absorbing his aroma and temperature. They stayed like that for a few more minutes before he sighed and looked up at the sky, noticing that soon it would be too clear and dangerous for her to return home in secret.

They dressed, tidied up the place, Elain watered the plants and then they kissed again before he took her flying up to Rhys and Feyre's house, where they said goodbye and she went back to the house, sure she would see him soon, even if it was in secret.

#elrielmonth #elrielmonth21 #pro elriel #elriel #day 5

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elrielmonth · 3 years

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🌸 🌸 🌸 🌸

Elriel Month Day 6 - Field Of Flowers

I wrote this some time ago and I think it fits the theme of the day perfectly. Since it was said in ACOSF that Cassian is allergic to flowers I always wonder about it happening.

Hope you like it! @elrielmonth

After Elain and Azriel have a picnic in the middle of a field of flowers, Azriel returns home covered in pollen, which causes an allergic reaction in Cassian and generates distrust in Nesta.

“A blindfold?” Azriel looked at Elain, arching an eyebrow as she smiled and nodded.

“In the bedroom the rules are yours” she walked to a stop behind him and placed the fabric over his eyes, pinning it. “But in the gardens the rules are mine” she whispered the last part in his ear and he can't help but smile maliciously, as he pulled her forward and intertwined their hands. “So I hope you will guide me”

“We just need to winnow to the field of flowers that I showed you these days” Elain stood on tiptoe and gave him a quick kiss, feeling the shadows surround them as Azriel pulled her closer and winnow up to the flowery hill she had shown him earlier in the week.

Elain had prepared a picnic at sunset, with Nuala's help and when they arrived everything was already prepared. Smiling, even more, she guided Az to the towel and asked him to sit down. When they were both seated, she took a wreath to put on her own head and placed another on his.

“Can I look now?” he asked impatiently, but a smile threatened to appear on his mouth.

‘Yes, you can” Elain bit her mouth while Az released the fabric and looked around, surprised. “ You liked?” she held her breath waiting for his answer.

Azriel laughed happily, noting the wreath on his head, and approached Elain. "I like everything you do, El." The setting sun lit Elain's golden brown hair, and Azriel admired her for a long time as she opened the picnic basket and arranged the items on the towel.

They spent the next hour eating the cakes and cookies that Elain had prepared, and between laughs and stolen kisses, the night was falling. It was difficult to be able to spend so much time together without the others being suspicious, but with the trip from Rhys and Feyre and Cassian and Nesta from Nyx nannies, they could extend this improvised meet a little further. A strong wind almost pulled the wreath from Azriel's hair and Elain quickly got to her knees in front of him and held the accessory in place.

“You really liked to see me with that.” Az said and when she gave him a kiss on the cheek he took the opportunity to pull her onto his lap.

“Yes. You look beautiful.” she gave him another kiss and he felt his skin heat up, his cheeks turn red and it just seemed to encourage her even more. When they realized, Az was already lying on his back on the grass and Elain was over him, filling his face with kisses and repeating that he was beautiful.

Gradually the kisses were getting slower, while Elain was running down with her mouth for his jaw and neck. One thing was the touches and caresses they exchanged in bed, but it was different when they were outdoors and the touches were not sexual, he had never been with anyone like that and his heart was racing. Elain felt his tension and pulled away enough to look him in the eye.

“Az. Something is wrong?” her eyes were nervous and he stared at her for a moment.

"No" he whispered, sliding a hand down her arm and Elain raised an eyebrow, waiting for a better answer.

“This is something new for me, El. But I liked” Azriel placed a lock that was loosening from her hairstyle behind her ear, attention still in her eyes. “Go on.”

Elain smiled and came back with the series of kisses, while he held her tightly around the waist. Something inside him opened, as if a light had been illuminating the darkness he had been carrying for ages and Azriel hugged her tighter when she buried her face in the curve of his neck and sighed.

“Can we stay a while longer and watch the stars?” she spoke against his skin and he nodded.

“We can” and when she smiled and turned around, laying her head on his chest. Azriel could have sworn she shone brighter than the stars in the sky.

He took the hand she left on her chest and intertwined her fingers, bringing them to her mouth and leaving a kiss there.

When Azriel flew to the house of wind, after leaving Elain at the river house, Nesta and Cassian were having dinner and trying to feed a Nyx who seemed more likely to play with the food. Az stopped at the door and watched the scene.

Cass tried in every way to get the little one to eat, but Nyx just tapped his hand on the spoon and spread the soup everywhere, Nesta watched with her arms crossed, murmuring what he was doing wrong. After two attempts, Nesta gave up the words and took the plate of food from Illyrian's hands, and surprisingly the baby gladly accepted the next spoonful. Az laughed and approached, drawing everyone's attention. He gave Nyx a kiss on the head and patted Cassian on the shoulder.

“He beat you” He said and Cassian shook his head.

“How can it be easier to command armies than to feed a child?” Az laughed at the words.

“I'm finding it super easy” Nesta says when Nyx clapped her hands and ate some more.

Az laughed softly, his shadows swirling with the sound and he tapped Cassian on the shoulder, which at the moment was itching, which made Nyx start laughing.

“Stop it, Cassian” Nesta warned, trying to get Nyx's attention to feed him. But Cass

continued to itch, eliciting more laughter from their nephew.

“I can't ... Something, something gave me an allergy.” Cass got up and sneezed out of the dining room.

Azriel was looking in the direction of the door Cass had come out of when he felt Nesta's gaze on him and turned to face her. She looked at him suspiciously and even ignored Nyx who was throwing soup all over again.

“Where were you, Azriel?” Nesta asks and Az shrugged, with his best poker face.

“Talking to one of my spies. Why?” it was not a complete lie, but Nesta continued to stare at him.

“In a field of flowers?” she raised her eyebrow and Az felt his throat dry.

“Where did this idea come from?” he laughed and shook his head.

“Cassian only has allergies to flowers and he was fine before you arrived.”

Azriel walked away to the door, putting his hands in his pocket and a subtle smile on his face.

“It's spring, Nesta. I'm sure it was the wind” and with that, he left the dining room and went to his bedroom to take a shower and remove any trace of pollen that was in his body. He and Elain should start to be more careful with this, but at least he and Nyx managed to laugh a little at Cassian's allergic reaction.

#elrielmonth #elrielmonth21 #pro elriel #elriel #day 6

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elrielmonth · 3 years

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yes!!! 🌸 thank you for the continuation 🌸

Elriel Month 🌸🦇

Day 6:

Continuation of Day 1: Rosehall.

His mother. His mother was here.

He had never mentioned her before. Elain had not even known she was alive.

Azriel led Elain inside the estate, the shadow spy returning to report in Azriel’s ear what it had discovered. He nodded, but said nothing.

Elain vaguely took in her surroundings, but every detail she noticed quickly faded away from her memory. Her mind was spinning around with the idea that she could meet Azriel’s mother today.

She was not appropriately dressed.

“I just need to check on a few things and then we’ll leave.” Azriel had taken her to a parlor. A fireplace of white stone was on the wall to her left, while a couch made to accommodate Illyrian wings faced it, pushed against the wall to her right. The wall directly before them was covered in windows gazing out to a field of flowers. Elain’s eyebrows raised, her lips lifting at the corners. An image popped into her mind of her sitting on the couch, a cup of tea in her hand and the saucer on the low table, while she gazed at the lovely view. At the flowers and how they swayed in the breeze.

“Wait for me here. I’ll be back in a moment.” Elain snapped back into reality and managed a nod before Azriel strode away, leaving a shadow behind. She watched him go, his stalk proud and easy, his back straight but relaxed. The light played in his wings, painting them red and purple and blue, a melange of color infused with a map of veins. They look soft, Elain thought in awe.

When he was gone, she turned to the fireplace. There were no pictures there. No sign of memories to be seen. The room was mostly empty, safe for the various flower bases, the couch and table, and the bookshelves to either side of the row of windows. There was also a small mirror next to the fireplace where she caught her reflection. The shadow floated just beside it, staying by the mantle of the fireplace, seeming to be looking at her.

Elain frowned at her reflection and reached above her head to pat down a hair that was sticking up. Then, her gazed lowered and she ran her hand through her hair strands. Did they seem too flat? She studied her attire. Was that dust on her dress? With a frustrated sharp exhale, she began to dust-off the area near her bellybutton.

Why hadn’t Azriel told her who would be here? She was not dressed for this. Her dress today was simple, one of the dresses she wore to train. If she had known his mother was here, she would have donned something more pretty, less drably. She would have fixed her hair into—

“What are you wiping away, my dear?”

Elain startled, turning to her left. The female standing there laughed softly. There were wings peaking above her shoulders. They were scarred.

Elain had not heard her come in.

Azriel’s mother.

Elain knew a blush was spreading on her cheeks. Great. She hadn’t even opened her mouth and Azriel’s mother was laughing at her. She was going to stab Azriel with truth teller during training today.

A sudden fear overtook her briefly. Making a good impression on this female was important for Elain. She pushed the reason away, but there was no denying it.

Elain saw Azriel’s shadow tilt curiously from the corner of her eye.

“What’s your name, child?” The female’s voice was tender, but rough like gravel. Her skin was a tanned brown like her son’s and her hair was just as dark as his. Azriel had inherited his father’s eyes, because his mother’s were the darkest brown Elain had ever seen.

A few scars extended across the Illyrian’s cheeks and neck. One of them ran across her right eyebrow.

Beautiful. She was absolutely beautiful. And if Elain had not known this female was older than Azriel, she would’ve assumed she was in her late twenties.

Now she understood why Azriel was so handsome.

The female’s lips twisted up in a smile. Elain blinked. Her name, the female had asked Elain for her name.

“Elain Archeron, Miss,” she answered, shifting on her feet before offering an awkward curtsy.

The female tilted her head to the side —another habit Azriel must have gotten from her— as she regarded Elain. “Elain Archeron?” Elain nodded. “Archeron like my new High Lady?”

Elain nodded again. She cringed and forced herself to speak. “Feyre is my younger sister.”

The female raised her eyebrows. “I see.” She walked closer and past Elain until she stood before the windows, gazing out at the field of flowers.

I see? What did that mean?

“Tell me, Elain. Do you like flowers?”

Elain smiled, coming to stand beside Azriel’s mother, pressing her shaking hands against her dress. The view really was breathtaking, she noticed now that she came closer to it. “I love flowers.”

The Illyrian did not remove her eyes from the field, but there was a smile on her lips as she said, “You smell like one.”

“Jazmine,” they both said together. The female turned to her then. What Elain felt looking at her face could not be described as anything other than comfort. The warmth she radiated with her gentle expression was enough to to make Elain wonder if this was what having a caring mother felt like. Having the female smile at her brought great peace to her heart, diminishing her fear. “My sister, Feyre, told me I smelled of jazmine and honey,” Elain added shyly.

The female grinned. “Yes.” After a moment of silent consideration, she motioned her hand towards the field. “Would you like to—“

Footsteps sounded from the hall and both of them twisted in time to see Azriel come inside the room. Elain’s shoulders relaxed at his presence. He frowned at his mother before noticing his shadow next to the fireplace and throwing a glare it’s way. “My shadows told me you were in your room.”

“I was,” she responded nonchalantly.

Azriel assented with his head slowly. Elain glanced between the two of them, their faces equally impassive.

Azriel glanced at Elain before returning his gaze to his mother. He gave her a small smile. “Hello, Mother.”

The female’s face broke out in a bright grin and she made her way to him, reaching her hand to cup his cheek. His face went soft, his eyes filled with love. Elain’s heart reacted to his happiness in kind.

“My boy,” the Illyrian female said, her voice —like her son’s eyes— full of love.

Elain turned her back to them, focusing again on the field of flowers below. Concentrating on naming them in her head while Azriel and his mother caught up. Eventually, she mentioned something about a leak and began to walk him out of the parlor.

Elain faced them again just in time to see Azriel’s mother pause on the doorway and look at her. Azriel glanced between them, his face neutral. “It was a pleasure meeting you, young flower,” she said. “I do hope to see you again.”

Elain smiled, feeling warm in the face. “Likewise, Miss.”

The female winked at her before leading his son away. Elain heard their cheerful voices fading and was delighted when she caught Azriel’s laugh.

Her eyes found the field again.

What a lovely female. It seemed accurate, that she lived in this graceful home.

The shadow that still stood by the mantle got closer to the view. Then it playfully approached Elain and tugged on a strand of hair before darting back to its initial spot.

Elain laughed. “I know. My hair is a mess.” She ran her fingers through the strand. “It wouldn’t have been like this if it weren’t for your cranky boss.” The shadow did not react beyond twisting in the air. “I don’t care if you tell him I said that.” It moved no more.

She didn’t know if it understood her. But while Azriel and his mother were away, taking care of whatever leak there was, the shadow kept her company. Both of them close to the window, looking out at the view, at the field of flowers. Dark and light looking out.

And as the breeze made all those petals dance, Elain wondered whether she had been meant to see this place and to meet her.

#elrielmonth #elrielmonth21 #pro elriel #day 6 #elriel

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elrielmonth · 3 years

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😱 😱 SPECTACULAR, AMAZING, BRILLIANT, GORGEOUS!

Elriel Month Day 2 - Your Lips on My Scars

She would always think his scars were beautiful, and she would remind him everyday until he believed her.

Version with musical accompaniment on my Instagram: @livlochan.art

(Art by me. Please do not repost elsewhere.)

#elrielmonth #elrielmonth21 #elriel #pro elriel #day 2

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elrielmonth · 3 years

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it’s already amazing 🌸 can’t wait for a final result 🌸

Elriel Month

Day 6

Doodle by me @alwayssara 🌿

Most definitely a WIP. Got new brushes and need to try them out. Just a doodle and having fun with my fav ship. Thanks for whoever is behind Elriel Month @elrielmonth

#elrielmonth #elrielmonth21 #pro elriel #elriel #day 6

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elrielmonth · 3 years

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beautiful 💘

Elriel Month | Day 5: Meet Me In The Silence

WORD COUNT: 2095

CONTENT WARNING: NONE

SONG SUGGESTION: “EXPERIENCE” - ANGELE DUBEAU

“If I have to steal time with you, I will. I’m not afraid to love you in the shadows until we’re safe to love in the light, Azriel. I choose you, I will always choose you.”

Meet Me In The Silence

Elain stood outside in the chilly air, looking up at the stars, her breath curling in the air like wisps of magic. This had been their meeting place for so long now, she had come here so many times and yet, after everything, it felt so foreign to her now. She’d left the note here for him, she hadn’t seen him at all since Solstice, he’d even skipped family dinners lately and without involving anyone else she had no way to reach him. The only indication that he’d even received her note was that it no longer sat where she’d left it. She clutched her cloak tighter around herself and looked up at the sky, so many wishes and dreams watched over her now, were hers there too? Would they help her now? She took a deep breath and stepped inside, every memory rushing to the forefront of her mind, she couldn’t help but smile even while her heart ached as it did. Everywhere she looked she saw him, saw them. What if he never wanted to see her again, he already seemed to be avoiding her even at the cost of time with his friends and family. She had to talk to him, let him know that he didn’t have to stay away, that she wouldn’t bother him again, even if it meant letting their friendship slip away. She hung her head and quickly swiped a tear away, their friendship was likely over, if it had even really been that to anyone but her.

Azriel knew he shouldn’t go, knew that it was the latest in a series of careless mistakes where Elain was concerned, but he still couldn’t stop himself. He landed just outside their place and stood frozen for a moment, she was here already, he could feel her. He took a deep breath, his hand resting just over his heart where he’d tucked her note into his coat pocket, where he always kept her notes. The gentle falling of rain pulled him from his thoughts and he strode for the door, not giving himself another moment to hesitate or talk himself out of it. He closed the door with a soft click and took a few steps inside the room before stopping. Elain was there, her scent of jasmine and honey threatening to both end him and bring him more to life than he’d ever been before. She turned to him slowly and the pain in her eyes, even as she gave him a gentle smile made his heart crack. He knew what she saw here, he’d seen those memories too the first time he’d been back here, ghosts of happier times when the game still belonged just to them, before anyone else knew about the secret bridge they’d been building to one another all this time. He said nothing at first, maybe if they didn’t speak, they could just steal a little more time together in the silence, just one more moment, one more memory of her before he pushed her to leave him behind.

Elain heard the door open and close behind her and slowly turned to face him but said nothing. Maybe they could exist here together for a little while longer, here in the silence. She watched him take a few steps closer before stopping, her eyes pleading with him to come the rest of the way before she forced herself to move to meet him in the center of the room. She looked up into his hazel eyes and she could see the pain there, whatever he felt, she knew, she just knew that he didn’t want this to end anymore than she did.

“You shouldn’t be here.” He said quietly, finally breaking the silence and pulling her back from her thoughts. “It’s late and I’m sure no one else knows you’re here.”

“I needed to see you, to talk to you.” She said. “To apologize for what happened on Solstice. I obviously misread the situation and...and I hope you’ll still train me.” The words were like ash in her mouth, but she kept smiling, though it didn’t quite reach her eyes.

Azriel looked away and she knew things were not going to go well.

“Az?” She asked.

“I’ve already told you, Elain, you have nothing to apologize for-”

“Then why do I feel as if I’m being punished?” she asked, her eyes glossy with unshed tears. “Why do you look as if it hurts you just as much as its hurting me?”

“I’m sorry that I hurt you.” He looked at her and the pain and regret were clear in his eyes. Truthfully, he had never regretted anything more in his life. “It was never, ever my intention to hurt you, I made a mistake...” the last part nearly a whisper as he forced himself to say it.

“What part was a mistake?” she asked, afraid to hear his answer, her hands shaking at her sides, though not from the cold.

Azriel steeled himself before answering. “All of it. The training, the secrets-it was dangerous from the start and I should have known better. Gods, Elain, you could have been killed on that first mission. Let me take you back home. If they find that you’re gone-”

“I knew the risks when we started, nothing has changed.” She said, trying to find a way out of this. “Please tell me the truth.” she whispered. “You’ve never given me any reason not to trust you.”

Azriel clenched his fists at his sides, hating himself as he said, “I’m not just talking about your training, Elain. You have a mate.”

For a moment, her heart fluttered at the confirmation that she hadn’t misread anything, then dread washed over her and settled into her chest at the mention of Lucien. “Don’t.” She stopped him, a lump forming in her throat at the betrayal. “Don’t you bring him up.”

“Its the truth, Elain.” His voice broke as he said the words. He knew how much she hated the bond, how much she hated the control it had over her life, over her heart. A heart that he knew he was dangerously close to damaging when she’d only just repaired if after that boy had tossed it aside so carelessly. He hadn’t been there, but he’d heard how brutal her former fiancé’s words had been and he’d seen how broken she was at the war camp afterward. The same night he’d risked everything to find her and bring her back to her family, to bring her back to him and now he was letting her go, pushing her away.

“I don’t WANT Lucien, I don’t LOVE Lucien, you know that.” She stepped closer, needing to be near him, but he stepped back, as if being close to her caused him pain. She halted in her tracks, her heart breaking all over again. “Tell me that you think being with Lucien would be best for me. Look me in the eyes and tell me that nobody could love me more than he would.”

He closed his eyes and sighed, his self-control dangerously low. He had his orders and deep down, he knew that Lucien would take care of her if she chose him. He could endure it, if it meant she might be happy and more importantly that she would be safe. Every bit of self control, any scrap of hope he had of talking her out of seeing anything good in him dissolved when he felt her hand on his chest, resting over that note, resting over his heart.

“I can’t.” He said, looking down at her. He had never lied to her yet and he wouldn’t start now, he couldn’t, if he could keep one pure thing between them, it would be that. He closed his eyes and repeated the lines he’d rehearsed leading up to this meeting. “I cannot in good conscience put you at risk, Elain. If you’d like to continue training, Cassian can-“

“Don’t.” She said, her voice breaking as she began to feel defeated. “Please, don't” She begged, her heart cracking as she felt a cold wall begin to rise between them. “Don’t do this, DON’T give me the Spymaster now, Azriel.”

“I AM the Spy Master, Elain, its all I am, all I can ever be.” He said, not harshly, but with a coldness that threatened to shatter her further.

“No. You are more than that, it is a part of you but it is NOT who you are, it is NOT ALL OF YOU. You showed me that, don’t try to hide it from me now. Is this really what you want?” She asked, fingers nervously twisting in the fabric of her cloak.

“What I want doesn’t matter.” He said with such honesty that it broke something inside of her to know that he truly believed that.

“What you want matters, Az.” She whispered through the tears that finally broke free. “It has always mattered to me.” Her hands fisted in the fabric of her cloak as she waited for him to say something, anything. Azriel just looked at her, the love he felt from the truth of her words stunning him into silence.

Pain deeper than he’d ever seen there before reflected in her rich brown eyes as she took his silence as a final dismissal. She took a shuddering breath and took one last look at him before walking out into the rain. The door slammed shut behind her and she finally released the sobs that had been building up inside of her. He had made his choice and it wasn’t her, his loyalty to his court was not to be pushed aside for a mistake.

“Elain!” She heard the door slam open as he rushed through, one of his strides matching two of hers until he was on her, his hands cradling her face as his lips crashed into hers.

“I can’t…” He looked down at her, still holding her face in his hands, the rain beginning to soak them both now. “I can’t tell you any of those things, not about Lucien, not about any male.”

“Why not?” she said, her chest aching, her breathing ragged now as she fisted his coat in her trembling hands.

"Because I won’t lie to you, El. He could never love you, no one, not in this life or in the next could ever love you more than I do.” He said, his eyes full of regret for trying to push her away before. “Please forgive me for hurting you, for lying when I called it a mistake. For any stupid thing I've ever said or done to hurt you or make you think that I wouldn't give anything just to be close to you.”

"I do, Azriel, I do." She nodded, crying happy tears as her smile lit up like never before and she kissed him again softly, once and twice on the lips before a third deeper kiss, her fingers sliding into the hair at the nape of his neck.

They finally broke, his face in her neck, his shuddering breath warm on her neck, his arms around her, pressing her into him, both of them shivering.

“Elain, you have no idea how much I want this.” he breathed, the agony and fear clear in his voice. “I’ve never wanted anything more in my life.”

“Then lets have it.” she whispered, stroking his hair back. “If I have to steal time with you, I will. I’m not afraid to love you in the shadows until we’re safe to love in the light, Azriel. I choose you, I will always choose you.”

He pulled back, looking down at her, his hand cradling her neck, his thumb ghosting over her jaw. “Elain, it will be dangerous, more dangerous than you know and we’ll have to hide from everyone, not just outside this court. The Autumn court, Lucien’s ties to our alliances, there is so much I need to tell you, so many ways you could be hurt if this goes wrong.”

Realization lit her eyes and they narrowed, a challenge accepted. “Then we will have to be VERY careful, won’t we?” She asked, affirming to him that she would not be backing down, not now, not ever.

He nodded, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth as he looked down at her, the decision made for both of them now. “Incredibly careful, love.”

Her heart sang at his words and she kissed him, her heart seeming to glow and warm her as if it were on fire. “Us against the world then?”

“They don’t stand a chance.” He answered, kissing her, the shadows pulling them out of the rain and back into the safety of their secret place where their game could continue though it had changed again.

#elrielmonth #elrielmonth21 #pro elriel #elriel #day 5

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