I only speak the truth. If you disagree, you are no better than a Montague...

Another year, another group of my delightful ninth graders trying to spell the word "tragedy" for their Romeo and Juliet assignment.

Last year's collection

Oh, is that who I am now? Well, it was never that far from the surface, mate.

Say what you want about the 2023 Shakespeare in The Park production of Hamlet, but the choices made in that play WORKED. Having Hamlet wear a black hoodie and cargo pants and him dramatically putting his hood up when he was pissed off was inspired. Having Horatio video tape Claudius on an iPhone camera from the side of the stage during the play within the play was hilarious. Having the play within the play be a hip hop dance number that represented the murder!?! Fantastic. Having Ophelia be a singer before she went mad and having a beautiful voice that everyone loved to listen to and then seeing her singing get worse and worse as she got nearer to death?!?! Hamlet pulling out his iphone after killing Polonius to show his mom a picture of his dad compared to a picture of Claudius and angrily swiping back and forth between the two as he said “What judgement would step from this… to this?” The crowd fucking lost it every time. Horatio singing to Hamlet as he died made me fully sob every time. The way they did the ghost on stage was so chilling and I can’t even accurately describe it, you just had to be there. Hamlet being deeply exasperated the entire time was just perfect. Hamlet and Horatio had a secret handshake. Laertes inexplicably carried an acoustic guitar case for much of the play which was very funny but also hit you with the heartbreaking implication that he had used to play while Ophelia sang and he stopped carrying it after she died. It was peak teenage-angst-hamlet and it was so dear to me. PLEASE if anyone has a recording, send it to me.

EDIT: THEY'RE GOING TO BROADCAST THIS PRODUCTION ON PBS, CHECK THE NOTES

Last night I dreamed that someone invented a new version of chess called Rookmeo and Juliet where two rooks are in love and trying to run away together. To achieve this they have to make it to the other side of the board, but these rooks don't have any visible signs to differenciate them from the rest, just a small mark in their base. Neither of the players knows what rook from the other side is in love with their rook, so they have to play a regular game of chess, fully aware that they might unknowingly kill the lover of their rook. If they kill it, the game keeps going, but their rook betrays them, switches sides and turns into a second queen for the other player. People wrote a ton of essays about the symbolism and metaphors of that version of chess and the creator didn't have the heart to tell them that he simply invented it because he thought Rookmeo was a great pun

A Midsummer Night's Dream by Anastasia Shutova

“Don’t be dramatic” WRONG. I am shakespeare and I cannot be controlled.

the sluttiest thing a man can do is be good at performing shakespeare

Two households, both alike in dignity, In fair Verona, where we lay our scene. From ancient grudge break to new mutiny, Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean. From forth the fatal loins of these two foes, A pair of star-crossed lovers take their life; Whose misadventured piteous overthrows Do with their death bury their parents' strife.

ROMEO AND JULIET (1968) — dir. Franco Zeffirelli

Details from Arthur Rackham’s illustration "And now they never meet in grove or green," (1908) from A Midsummer Night’s Dream by William Shakespeare

I forgot that I have 12 years of having to analyse Shakespeare’s language, so here is Puck’s speech about the backstory to Midsummer Night’s Dream spoken as modern gossip.

(This was way harder to perform than the Shakespeare version. Also Titania is 100% in the right here. The Prince is the half-orphaned son of one of her friends and followers whom she promised to look after if something happened)

My students’ adventures in trying to spell “tragedy” for their Romeo and Juliet quiz.

Shakespeare was literally the dick pussy fart joke man.

My toxic trait is that I judge people by their top three Shakespeare plays - just like folks who are into the horoscope judge you based on your sun, moon and rising signs.

Btw mine are Macbeth, Richard II and The Tempest

William Shakespeare, from "Henry V"