.

i feel like i need to remember ppl have it worse than me and make it through

because i know people think im self centered and think my own problems are the only ones which like i dont think that but if it comes off that way its the same effect

but its like every Little bad thing feels like the end of the world im not one of those grateful terminally ill people who enjoy every little thing now i think when ur already horribly depressed its instead just. every good thing actually makes you sad too and every bad thing makes you feel cursed

idk if i over think or barely think abt things

and in regards to how bad i have it

again im like oh i whine so much people make it thru worse

but sometimes i barely think abt how bad ive had it

like as in the pandemic has been weird for me hearing people complaining about not having close contact for (under a) year and im like well. the last time i had a friend in real life i was. twelve

and if u count a friend i talked to outside of school think it drops down to like eleven and im 22 now and my parents have ranged from neglectful narcissistic to gaslighting to just. maybe they love me but they dont say it i dont feel it idk we're more roommates than anything else i think. and its hard to feel like im being honest that they’re bad because i used to think i had to lie for pity but i mean i havent been to school since i was 12, so...

like its ✨embarrassing✨ but im so incredibly lonely i have been for a really really really long time its why when i have a gf or whatever theyre the only thing i care abt which everyone including them understandably is like shut the fuck up but rlly im at the point where a mutual randomly dms me hoping im ok and i burst into tears because people are nice (here usually) but i feel like its just cause they feel bad for me and i dont even believe that anyone thinks abt me if im not talking which is probably why i feel like im suffocating if i cant tweet or say smth whatever 3x to the same ppl like ik ppl think i love attention because im a cunt or a leo or whatever but i rly think im just trying to like not die of loneliness its not even just the like lack of rl friends for uhm ten plus years its like i dont even go anywhere except the doctor or the store or whatever the people who ive occasionally seen like when i helped with scouts one time the woman said i know you hate hugs but i want to and i was like what and realized i just. dont even know how to react to physical contact cause again i mean christ i didnt know being touch starved was an actual like Thing beyond me being sad about it i guess but yeah i really only get touched at the doctor or if i ask for help when surgery leaves me particularly disabled which is ✨painful and humiliating✨ i think when my mom massaged my back a couple times after hospital beds had me like super fucked up tensed was like . the nicest thing ive experienced in . well yeah 11 years and its not like i can remember before that ive just never been physically close w someone and thats not even Normal and im not going to be Loved any time soon like i cant even work still i just dont interact w anyone making friends irl sounds horrifying and impossible idk how to act w people after this long and tht feels supported by ppl lately

and thats just loneliness if uve ever read like one post from me u know the. illness thoughts

im tired its weird because i dont think i couldve imagined ever being 22 when i was 12 i think i was really planning to die before that but i didnt and now i might not ever be 25 or 30 and i dont know i think that makes me really sad but i think if they told me it was happening i might be just. a little relieved because im so tired i wish i didnt have to choose to die like cause id Rather be loved touched happy but that doesnt feel realistic ever and im tired of this i think id just rather it be over lol

sorry if u read all this and thanks .

V Route Possibilities

Ji Hyun   Route   Ideas   [ Part ?? ]

These ideas are in no way, shape, or form official plans released by the company because Cheritz has confirmed that there WILL BE A V ROUTE RELEASED SOON his route is coming holy crap im ready

Cheritz deserves the world thank you for giving us this route that we’ve all wanted we’ll treat him riGHT

These are just ideas that I have come up with for fun~ Please enjoy! Just to hype up more excitement for the teal haired angel~

Please leave your feedback down below! I would love to see what you have to say about these theories, or maybe read some theories of your own! Please do not steal any of these without permission! There are probably many overlooked details and holes in these ideas.

CONTAINS MULTIPLE SPOILERS WITHIN. READ AT YOUR OWN COST.

After Ending Possible Re-Do?; Route Possibility One

As individuals who have completed Seven’s route already know that there is a two part after ending where Saeyoung and MC go out in hopes of bringing back Saeran. When they are lodging at a cabin for the night, they end up getting caught and tracked by Mint Eye and none other than Jihyun comes to escort them to the headquarters. Many events occur that cause Saeran to panic and pull out a loaded gun, he ends up shooting and V ends up dying in order to protect someone I think it was Rika pls correct me this angel

But what would happen if you or MC could somehow save V? In this theory or route possibility, we’ll be discussing this. And for simplicity reasons, we’ll have Saeyoung and MC be good friends. It’s our turn to save him.

In this theory, everything prior to the gunshot plays out exactly the same as it does in the after ending - the chase, lodging, escorting - the only thing that changes is the fact that Jihyun does not get shot - instead he gets pushed out of the way by someone, by you. After seeing you hurt, he feels that he had failed his mission to protect everyone in the RFA. He had promised that you would be safe and that he and Saeyoung would do anything to ensure your safety, but here you were, bleeding on the ground because you had sacrificed yourself for him. You were immediately rushed for medical attention, V out of everyone felt the guiltiest about your injury. It should have been him, would have been him. He felt relief spread through him after he was told that your surgery went perfectly and that you would make a full recovery. Everyday he would sit by your bedside and apologize to you quietly, his teal hair was disheveled, there were dark circles under his eyes, his warm hand holding your frail one as he did so. Once you woke up, he would show you just how much your sacrifice meant to him.

AND IT FINALLY STARTS V ROUTE YES coughs okay me chill

Once you are discharged from the hospital, you expect Jumin to have sent a car for you to be brought to the apartment - but instead, you find V waiting for you. He expresses how thankful and grateful he is towards you and tells you about his personal mission, to make you feel his overflowing gratitude. Day after day, you would meet up with Jihyun and he would take you to his favourite places, tell you about his favourite things, and just overall make you enjoy your life and time with him. He told you whatever you wanted to know about him, his photography career, his eyes, his personal life, he felt as if he owed you all of him. The more time you spent together, the more you became attached to the teal haired man - his gentle and caring nature, his thoughtfulness and overall being. And this is where the different endings can come in.

Good Ending: Day by day, your feelings for the photographer would grow and you constantly wondered if he returned your emotions mutually. You wondered what his relation with Rika now was, you wondered if he even thought of you as anything more than a friend. The two of you would meet up at the same location everyday to spend time together - and today was no different. With your arms linked, the two of you walked down the streets with you guiding him together when you came upon something that caught your attention. With a smile, you unlinked your arm from V’s and looked around, completely amazed. Only the click of the camera was heard before you turned your head, seeing V with a camera in his hands and a wide smile on his face. He told you that he wanted to continue with his photography happily, he wanted to start anew. And he wanted you to be part of it, in more ways you would ever understand. 

Normal Ending: He needed time, and you understood. Jihyun had been through a lot, too much. He was aware of your feelings towards him, and he shared the same feelings as well - but the timing just wasn’t right for him. Everything seemed to move too fast, the days had practically flown off the calendar with everyday spent with you. He only felt right being with you if he could bury her in his heart, discard any lingering emotions he had for her to fully devote himself to you. And you understood all of it. With time, the two of you would get together but as of right now, you were best staying where you were. Just together, smiling without a care in the world. 

Bad Ending: He didn’t expect you to have feelings for him, nor did he ever plan on loving another woman again. Rika had been his sun, the light to his life, the person who could bring him complete happiness - how could he possibly replace her? You were just someone he saw as a friend, a friend who had saved his life and a friend who he was extremely grateful towards. No more, no less. His eyes widened upon hearing about your feelings, but he couldn’t return them while she was still in his life. He never intended to hurt you, not again. But here he was, for the second time. I kind of ruined myself with this bad ending

Before MC; Route Possibility Two

We all know that this could be very likely, but this route is based on Rika and V’s relationship. This story line would allow the player to experience what had gone on with Rika, her mental illness and what she had done to V. The route would show their personal life, and would show how everything formed - the RFA, Mint Eye, etc. You would play as Rika during this route because of V’s death in the After Ending, making it almost impossible to have a relationship with him after the party.

There can’t really be a good, normal or bad ending to this route because it would alter the game’s storyline with MC.

this one is really short in the explanation im so sorry