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veronicaphoenix · 17 hours

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to hold you, to heal you | n.s.

Summary: Noah is exhausted. It feels as if he's failing at everything, including at being the boyfriend his girl deserves. She's there to reassure him that that couldn't be further from the truth.

Tags & trigger warnings: angst, implied poor mental health (self-doubt, anxiety, depression), mentions of sex, fluff, comfort, just pretend live 2024.

words: 1.9k | my works

to hold you, to heal you — noah sebastian x fem. reader

The house was shrouded in quietness, the calming fragance of incense lit half an hour ago still lingering in the air.

Noah had gone to bed an hour earlier; he was exhausted.

Silently, she made her way to the bedroom, careful not to disturb him.

He lay on his side of the bed as she entered, back turned to her, the covers barely draped over his bare torso.

The temperatures had risen in the past two weeks, making the house uncomfortably warm. They should've swapped the covers for summer sheets, but neither could muster the energy to change them just yet.

She tiptoed to her side of the bed and slipped under the covers, nestling herself right behind Noah, wrapping an arm around his stomach and pressing her chest to his back, her cheek resting against his shoulder.

It was often that they found each other like this: her spooning him. They loved to intertwine their legs beneath the sheets, and he loved to drag her hand to his chest, right where his heart beat. He wanted her to feel it, to feel how his heart’s rhythm transformed from a relentless dance to a gentle pulse at her touch.

She nuzzled the tip of her nose against the nape of his neck, delighting in the feel of his soft locks, growing longer by the day. His hand found hers and guided it to the spot where his heart resided. She focused on his heartbeat for a while, on his breathing. She let the warmth of his body transfer to hers, despite the heat already filling the room.

Cooconing him like that felt like a promise that would eventually break. When he was in her arms, she felt as though she could shield him from anything, everything. She could just keep him caged, safe and sound tucked against her body, much smaller than his yet capable of safeguarding him. She so desperately wanted to keep that promise…

Yet, she was aware that those we love eventually slip, one way or another, no matter how much we try to ease their fall.

Nobody is extempt from hurting.

And now Noah was hurting. Her promise hadn’t lasted.

She tightened her grip unconsciously when a wave of anger and sadness washed over her, her muscles pressing against Noah’s, her heart wanting —needing— to break through the skin and find Noah’s, merge with his, beat as one.

Love is always a constant battle of trying, trying, failing, trying, trying again, and sometimes, making it right.

Tonight, she would make it right. She would heal him one way or another; take some of his pain and store it in her own chest, in her veins, in her bones.

Blinking away the tears, she pulled back slightly, just enough to see his back. It was dark, but the moonlight filtering through the curtains revealed the faint lines of his tattoos. Unable to stop herself, she traced the designs with a gentle finger, following every curve and sharp edge.

Noah shivered beneath her touch, his muscles tensing.

In less than a minute, he turned onto his back, his hands seeking her. He grasped her and positioned her astride his lap, his hands resting on her hips while hers landed on his chest. He wore nothing but black boxers, and she was clad in his t-shirt and cotton panties.

Under the moonlight, she found his October eyes.

“Hi,” she said softly.

“Hi,” Noah replied.

“Did I wake you?”

“No,” he answered, their voices mere whispers in the night. “Couldn’t sleep,” he explained, a hint of resignation in his voice.

It was soft now, not the rough, visceral one he used on stage for some of Bad Omens’s songs. This was the voice she loved the most, the deep raw timbre that was yet so delicate, both tender and masculine, holding harmony within a quiet power. Every time she heard her name uttered with that voice, that tone so soft yet demanding, she melted in his hands.

“The voices?” she guessed.

Noah nodded, letting out a heavy sight that he’d tried to contain, his gaze falling. She hated seeing him so conflicted, but there was only so much she could do. She didn’t know what else to do beside be by his side, engulfed in the dark of the after hours and surrounded by white noise.

With nothing more than a hmm, she brushed some hairs away from his face, and spent the next few minutes tracing her thumb along his forehead and then down his left eyebrow, trying to push some of his worries away. His eyes closed momentarily, and his own fingers began to move in a soothing rhythm where they touched the skin of her thighs. The weight of her on top of him always felt delightful, a comforting pressure.

But the sensation lasted only a few seconds. He grasped her wrist, holding her hand away from him.

“You deserve someone better than me.”

His words caught her off ward, making her frown and shift back a little, trying to discern his expression in the dark.

But he looked resolute, no ounce of doubt on his face as the words seemed to fill the space they were in, threatening to suffocate them.

“Noah—”

“You should be with someone that doesn’t spend most of the time away,” he began, “someone who isn’t locked in the studio whenever he’s home. Someone who doesn’t take time off to get his mind straight instead of choosing time off to be with his girl.”

She was tempted to snort. He was being silly. Yet, she knew it wasn’t the time to take his confessions lightly. He was suffering, and her job was to ease that pain, even if it meant going through the same conversation they’d had many times before.

“Is that what the voices told you?” she inquired softly.

She was met with silence, the room charging up with his unspoken words.

“Noah,” she said, her tone determined as she tried to capture his full attention. She freed herself from his grasp and leaned forward, resting her forearms on his chest and reaching the sides of his face with her hands. He hadn’t shaved in the last three days and a little stubble was growing. “I love watching you work,” she said. “It’s what makes you happy, and I’d never do anything to keep your happiness away. Same goes for your health. You need this. There’s no arguing about it.”

He didn’t seem convinced by her words, his hands falling to the sides of her body, resting apathetically on the mattress. He felt defeated.

“Noah, baby,” she insisted, calling his name softly and touching his chin with two fingers. Look at me. Listen to me. “You’re driven by passion, and that same passion is the one that led you to me, so please, don’t say that I don’t deserve you. I deserve no one but you.”

She waited for her words to sink in. There was a little crease between his eyebrows now. He was still doubtful, torturing himself needlessly.

“I want you happy and healthy, and taking time off isn’t something you should feel guilty for. I’m proud of you for it. And I’ll be happy if you decide to stay locked up in the house for a month. I’ll stay here with you because a healthy Noah is my favorite Noah.”

Under other circumstance, he would have made a joke about that, probably a dirty one about her favorite Noah. But that night, the truth was that he didn’t feel like laughing. As much as he loved her smile and her little laughs, there was a demon on his shoulder reminding him of all his failures and all his weaknessses.

She was so sweet to him, though. Always making an effort to knock off that demon and step on the devilish creature, turn it to dust with her fierceless light.

His hand instinctively rose to her cheek, his thumb moving in a slow, almost reverent motion that stirred her heart. She leaned into his touch, her own hands cradling his face and keeping him safe, enveloped in her embrace.

She missed him. She had missed him terribly over the last few months. The entire year, in fact. But she was stronger than her own demons. She watched from afar as her boy made his way up, as his band grew, as their artistry gained recognition beyond the walls of their homemade studio with each passing day. She watched Noah’s tireless dedication to reaching out to the world with his music, his stories, the worlds capable of creating on his own. She watched as he poured his heart and soul into it, and how time began to consume him, both day and night.

Until he could bear it no longer.

She touched her lips to his. She kissed him for a brief moment. Soft and slow, emphasizing her presence, her connection to his very soul. And he responded delightfully, breaking the contact just for a few seconds, keeping the kiss a ghost, his lips hovering over hers beyond touch.

Inhaling his fresh breath, she wanted him to kiss her again. She wanted to let herself drown in the kiss.

When he did kiss her, it was the most achingly slow kiss he had ever given her. It was a kiss that said, “I’m tired. I need slow. I need time to stop. Please, hold me.”

And she would hold him. Any time. Always.

As her body relaxed on top of his, he cupped her entire face in his hands, keeping their mouths locked together. She tasted divine, and he cursed every second he had to pause to take a breath before diving back in with a little sigh.

When she shifted on top of him and he felt her core hovering right where he should’ve had an erection, he felt instead another failing.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured, withdrawing from her, his hands slipping away, turning his head so that his cheek pressed to the pillow. He exhaled with defeat.

“Sorry for what?” she asked, disconcerted.

“I’m not… I’m not in the mood for sex right now. I’m sorry.”

“Why do you have to be sorry for that?” she questioned, her confusion deepening. “I’m not here to demand that from you,” she added. Far from it. It pained her that he thought she needed that every time he kissed her. It pained her to see him punishing himself again for simply not feeling up to it, as if there was something wrong with it. “In fact, I just hoped I could just hold you all night.”

Noah looked back at her, somewhat taken aback. Not the reply he had expected.

He was definitely not his usual self.

“Would you let me?” she pleaded, blinking.

It took him a moment, but finally he relented, placing a hand behind her head to pull her down so that she rested against his chest. With each steady rise and fall, she smiled through watery eyes, hoping that tonight she could keep her promise: to hold him, to heal him, if only until the sun rose again.

She had just closed her eyes when his voice filled her ears again, soft, delicate, vulnerable.

“I’m so afraid, that the walls that I have made have locked me in. I’m not okay. But I can try my best to just pretend…”

He was singing to her.

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health & well-being, you are not alone and there is always someone willing to listen and help. Reach out and keep fighting. There's always a light at the end of the tunnel.

#noah sebastian #bad omens #noah sebastian one shot #noah sebastian x you #noah sebastian x reader #noah sebastian fluff #bad omens cult #noah sebastian fanfic #noah sebastian fanfiction

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treacheryinblue · 1 day

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A Noah Sebastian x F!Reader One Shot

Word Count: 2.3k

× Summary: Noah does what he can to help relieve some of the overwhelming stress you're forced to endure. It's just smut.

× Warnings!: SMUT (oral [f receiving]) aka Noah obviously being the munch we know he is. language, 18+ , no proofread, no revisions, written in about an hour so it is what it is. •‿•

Masterlist

Study, study, study.

Work, work, work.

That's all you did nowadays.

The routine of it all had become monotonous to say the least, though it's what had to be done if you were ever going to finish your degree. Your third attempt at said degree. School just wasn't for you and you had figured that out as soon as you walked across the stage at your high school graduation however many years ago. While most felt excitement with continuing their education, you felt nothing. You hated it; the deadlines, the papers, the asshole teachers who always acted as if they were leaps and bounds better than everyone they encountered. What you hated about it most of all, though, was the lack of freedom.

Only one thing - one person - was keeping you going despite the headaches and breakdowns where you’d yell that you were “over it” and it was “all so useless anyway”, and that person was Noah. Maybe it sounded cliche, but he truly was your rock through it all. Even with the loads of stuff he had going on, he still always found time for you, especially when he could tell that you were on the verge of one of those previously mentioned breakdowns. This just so happened to be one of those nights.

You were sitting on the couch of his home studio, anxiety-riddled fingers tapping away at your keyboard, trying your best to finish a paper that was due the following night. Of course you shouldn't have waited until the very last minute, but procrastination was what you did best. Noah would beg to differ, but you didn't have the mental capacity to get sucked into those sorts of thoughts right then.

Every now and then Noah would swivel in his chair to look at you, ask how things were going, and then turn back to his music once you replied. The answers were never what he wanted to hear, but he understood. He didn't want to be another source of aggravation for you, so he never pushed. Little did he know, just having him around you was enough to calm your nerves. That, plus the melodic vocals he would softly sing every now and then truly could work wonders.

“I think it's time for a break,” he exhaled while rolling his chair to the side to set his guitar down. “I can almost see the steam coming off your head.”

“In a minute,” you murmured under your breath. Your brows were furrowed, keys of your laptop still rhythmically tapping until you groaned and slammed down on the backspace to erase the paragraph.

“Oh no, now.” Noah stood from the chair with a chuckle and made his way to you, his body dropping down on the couch at your side. His hand immediately went to your bare thigh, fingers slowly caressing along your skin and working their way towards the innermost area.

“Noah, come on. I have to finish this,” you sighed, attempting to move a bit to shake his hand away.

“You also need to take a breather, let out some frustrations. Maybe then you can come back to it with a clear head.”

You were ignoring his words to the best of your ability, as well as his wandering hands.

“That's what I do when I get stuck with a song.”

And didn't you know it. On many occasions Noah had tracked you down within the house when he should've been working, just to let out some frustrations between your legs. It didn't matter what you were in the middle of doing when he found you because he would bend you over any surface and fuck you until the creative juices were flowing again. He claimed it did the trick every time, but you weren't convinced. This is even what led to him teasingly calling you his ‘muse’ when the moments would arise.

A heavy sigh sounded as his hands began to tug at your shorts, though you only leaned off to the side and propped yourself against the arm of the couch. You wanted space between the two of you, but not so much that it meant one of you going to another room. No, you still wanted to be close.

“Noah…” you huffed, your foot gently nudging at him when he went for your shorts again. This time he succeeded in drawing the fabric down your legs and tossing them aside. Despite this, your eyes remained focused on the laptop screen.

He glanced at you as his strong hands pried your knees apart and fully spread you open for him. “Continue to work if you want to,” he shrugged.

You didn't want to admit that you had become aroused during this miniature cat and mouse game the two of you were playing, though you were sure he noticed the small wet spot beginning to form on your panties. Sometimes it was so frustrating how easily he could get you going, even when you were mad at the world and just wanted to throw something.

Noah released one of your legs so he could run his fingers along your pussy over your panties, again and again, making lingering contact with where he knew your clit was each time. Your face remained expressionless, eyes still set on the glowing screen, but your body was definitely reacting to him. You knew you were becoming wetter by the way your panties clung to your folds and Noah continued his strokes with more vigor.

“Is this really the time?”

There was no response because his mouth was soon occupied with digging the tip of his tongue into your clit, the added scratch of your panties causing your toes to curl and your hips to jolt slightly. Noah smirked to himself at your reaction because he knew he would be able to get to you eventually. There was no way you'd be able to resist and you both were well aware of this.

Tattooed fingers soon tugged your panties aside, a faint hum of delight coming from him at the sight of your wet cunt so open and vulnerable. Just his for the taking.

“Fuck,” he murmured while lowering himself back down between your thighs. His lips secured around your clit for a gentle suck before his tongue began taking long licks across the swollen nerves.

Your fingers stalled on the keyboard, your head falling back as a moan was pulled from your chest. How were you supposed to get your work done when Noah was so intent on using his own methods of calming you?

“You taste so goddamn good.”

Noah moaned into your cunt, eyes closed, the entirety of his mouth devouring you like a starved man. His motions were slow but precise, fully knowing what he was doing. He was basically a professional when it came to your body.

Okay fine, he could win this time.

You quickly saved the document you were working on and then closed the laptop, the device now set on the floor by the couch. Even though Noah didn't dare stop, you could tell he was excited about getting what he wanted.

With your hands now free, you reached down to slip your fingers through his hair, eventually latching onto the dark locks. Noah dragged his tongue down to your entrance, slowly swirling around the drenched hole, only to then make his way back to your clit. He knew that if he lingered at your clit for too long then you'd be cumming in less than two minutes, and that wasn't the sort of experience he wanted you to have tonight.

“Mmmph!” A moan transferred to a slight squeak as his teeth gently nipped at your clit, your hips bucking up towards his mouth. He chuckled to himself at your reaction, which only earned him a firm tug to his hair.

Noah glanced up to you, playfully glaring. He shook his head as he sat up just enough to shift your legs together, your panties quickly slipped down and tossed aside to be forgotten like your shorts. You were then being spread open again and no time was wasted before he was back to business.

“Oh! Oh my god, just like that!”

A couple of long fingers plunged into your cunt, slowly easing in and out and pressing up to your g-spot in a way that had you panting and your body trembling. The sensations were maddening, especially as Noah’s tongue swirled around your clit, alternating between this and firmly suctioning his lips around it.

“Mmm, don't stop. Yes!”

His fingers drove deep into your pussy and then paused once fully buried. You made a slight sound of protest, prompting him to begin making that goddamned ‘come hither’ bending motion that made your breath hitch and your lower back arch.

“You like that, baby?” He taunted, long swipes of his tongue again being taken in an agonizingly slow pace. Each motion caused your pussy to clamp around his fingers, the sound of how wet you were easily deciphered behind your moans and heavy breaths.

“Y-Yes…” you stammered, nodding. “It feels so fucking amazing.”

Noah's proud smirk was so prominent that you swore you could feel it against your pussy. Honestly, it was impossible to miss. He always loved knowing how good he could make you feel with just his hands and mouth, and sometimes only his words too.

Your body felt like it was overheating, although in a good way. To ease some of the fire, you grabbed onto the hem of your shirt and pulled it up over your chest. Your abdomen was tense from contracting, pert breasts on full display for him. It only took a moment for you to begin rubbing and kneading over your tits, squeezing them together and sinking your fingers in deep. Noah glanced up to you, his mouth stilling completely though his fingers continued their thrusts.

“You're so needy,” he grinned as his lips began to move along your inner thigh. He suckled and bit at the tender skin, making sure it was hard enough to leave little marks behind, ones that only he would be able to see and know who you belonged to.

“All you needed was for me to make you feel good, baby,” he breathed along your heated flesh. “Fuck the frustrations right out of you.”

The addition of his low voice, along with you now pinching and rolling your nipples, had you right where he wanted you. Noah gave no warning before forcing a third finger into your already tight and stretched cunt, the intensity making you drop your hands to the couch so you could grip onto the cushions for dear life.

“Noah!! Fuck!”

The pressure of your orgasm was swelling until your body couldn't contain it any longer. You were in a frenzy as your hips grinded down against his fingers in time with his thrusts, nails scratching along the leather couch, head tossed back so your passionate cries could freely ring. That’s when Noah’s skilled mouth attacked your pussy again, his tongue hungrily lapping at your clit and your arousal that had spilled past his fingers. He groaned against you, and you even noticed his own hips rutting into the couch, his whole body being put into eating you out.

“Don't stop…right there…” you gasped and moaned between each statement, the climax coming on fast and strong. “Yes…oh my god…I'm going to cum…”

Noah rammed his fingers hard into your core and made sure to stroke along your g-spot with every retreat, only to repeat the motions until you were nothing but a whimpering mess beneath him. It was that pace that finally sent you careening over the edge. Your hands grabbed the back of his head so your nails could scratch the base of his neck and along his scalp, all while your hips unapologetically pressed as close to his mouth as possible. This left him no choice but to continue circling your clit and pulling it between his lips, suckling as if your life depended on this orgasm alone.

Your cunt surged around his fingers in a flood that rushed with such force that you could see his chin glistening, as well as the couch that now pooled with your cum.

Satisfied with his work, Noah began to slow down his pace only when your hips did first. His goal was for you to ride out the orgasm as long as possible, and the way your body still twitched and your pussy clenched let him know all he needed to.

As your body stilled, he slowly retrieved his fingers and watched in awe as more of your arousal dripped from your spent cunt. Typically he liked to watch as his own cum spilled from you, but right now wasn't about him.

Noah slowly kissed along your thighs, across your abdomen, and up to your lips which he eagerly claimed with his own. You were still in haze, floating in your own little world thanks to the great orgasm, but even that couldn't stop you from moving your lips in perfect sync with his. As your arms slinked around the back of his neck, his hands dragged up your sides until he was grasping firm to your waist to pull you close.

“Feeling better?”

You softly laughed, a content sigh following as if to show him just how relaxed you were now.

“Yes…and now I really do need to finish my paper but all I want to do is that again and again…and maybe again for good measure.”

Brushing a hand along the side of your face to push your hair back, Noah grinned, his head slowly nodding in agreement to your words. Unfortunately, he knew he couldn't let himself be that bad of an influence over you.

“Finish your paper and then we can see about that. Think of it as motivation.”

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