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#I can’t really pay you and idk how this thing with beta readers work
missinghan · 4 months
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also, I don’t know who would see this but if anyone’s bored or down to be a beta reader for a really long hyunjin fic, hmu for more details or I’ll add you on discord so it’s easier to ramble my heart out
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miuszn · 1 year
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i’m actually so obsessed with your bouncer!ellie.. we need a fic immediately 🤭 -🪐
taste of lust
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SETTING : modern au
WC : 5011
WARNINGS : sexual harassment ( nothing graphic ) ( but reader is sort of implied to have trauma related to it , nothing stated explicitly tho ) , bouncer!ellie x bottlegirl!reader , idk shit about clubs so like some stuff might be insanely inaccurate but i did my best to research ( sorry in advance ) , dash of dealer!ellie bc who doesn’t love her , dom!ellie , sub!reader , teasing , overstimulation if u squint , ellie calls u pretty girl & princess , readers first time with a strap , ellie refers to her strap as her cock , i’m not fluent in english yet so there might be mistakes , not beta read
A / N : hello everyoneeee !!! i know this took FOREVER to finish and i’m so sorry about that .. i’ve been super super busy and this fic was so long omg T_T there was a point i started over completely bc i didn’t like the direction it was heading to .. this fanfic shit gets serious truly . in case u missed the warning there is sexual harassment in this fic and reader is implied to have trauma related to it . putting this here again to make sure u guys see it . anyway , i took so long to post this and so much stuff happened !! but alas , it is here , the bottlegirl!reader and bouncer!ellie fic !! this is my fav fic of mine so far so i hope u guys enjoy reading this as much as i liked writing it <3 ( and yes there will be a part two !! )
— 𓆩♥︎𓆪 —
being a bottle girl wasn’t exactly the job of your dreams. having to deal with creepy rich men every friday and saturday night was definitely not something you enjoyed doing, but that was what paid the bills and allowed you to live a rather comfy lifestyle for a college student. the bad part no one tells you about going to a top college on a full-ride scholarship is that a lot of the students are rich kids who most definitely cheated their way through high school, who live in nice apartments paid for by their mommy and daddy, who use birkins and other designer brand bags as their school bags, who would never be caught dead eating at the cafeteria. of course, you felt out of place. you weren’t exactly poor, but your family definitely could never afford that kind of lifestyle.
you’re pretty. extremely pretty. and you knew you could use that to your advantage. so when you saw a new club in the city that was looking for bottle girls you immediately knew you had to apply. sure, you had to deal with a couple creepy customers every night and sometimes even had to remind them they’re not allowed to touch you, which was annoying. you also hated being seen as an object, and you knew that’s exactly how these men saw you, and what was even worse was those very unsettling “you remind me of my daughter” comments from older men since you were so young. but the money was the main thing you needed, and you were able to put up with all this because of the pay. although the salary itself is just enough to survive, most of your earnings were in tips, and you made good tips. with a little bit of flirting and pretending you were really into customers, you scored lots of tips in the hundreds and sometimes even thousands. that wasn’t really enough for you to be able to afford luxury items whenever you wanted, but you were able to treat yourself every once in a while and that was enough for you.
you and your coworker ellie are the only college students that worked at that club. she wasn’t a bottle girl, however, she was a bouncer. during busy nights the bouncers typically took turns being at the door, and the rest would be inside the club making sure everything was fine. she didn’t mind being inside, it meant she could steal glances at you. truth was, she was into you, and it was obvious. but you took it as her just wanting to get a reaction out of you. that’s what it seemed like. but you can’t lie, whenever she wasn’t looking, you’d stare back as discreetly as you could.
she was a little possessive over you, which you weren’t really aware of. whenever she saw you flirting with customers, she couldn’t deny she felt a little jealous. she of course knew you were just trying to get more tips. regardless, she still couldn’t stand seeing the way you twirled your hair, spoke in that sweet and flirty tone, and even sometimes gave them compliments, and the fact it wasn’t towards her. she wanted it to be her, and her only. she wanted you to be hers. but she never did anything aside from flirt with you a little every once in a while, because she was scared she’d make you uncomfortable.
ellie. where does one even begin to describe her? her strong arms, her short auburn hair she styled as a mullet or put in a half bun when she felt a little lazier, her mesmerizing green eyes. from the moment you laid eyes on her you found her extremely attractive, but you were too shy and didn’t know how to approach her. what’s funny is this is the total opposite of the character you put up for your customers, an extroverted, flirty girl. the thing with you is, you can flirt with people, but only when you’re not attracted to them. when you are, such as in cases like these, the main thing you do is avoid avoid avoid. you rarely had the opportunity to interact with each other, but when you did, you always felt she was trying to subtly flirt with you. it was the kind of flirting where it was hard to tell wether she was flirting with you or just being nice, so you simply took it as being nice because you didn’t think there was any possibility she could be into you. she was just out of your league. even if it was flirting, you didn’t know if she had any other intentions. so you decided to play it safe.
that night was different from the others. your boss informed you that there’d be a bachelor party tonight and surprise surprise, you’d be serving them. the thing about bachelor parties is they’re very demanding and their tips can vary a lot. and demanding in your vocabulary is basically a synonym for entitled. they’ll insist you sit down, have a drink with them, maybe even try to grope you or something. you were not happy about having to deal with them tonight, but your boss told you they were short-staffed tonight, so you’d simply have to suck it up.
the moment the group of about 15 men came in, ellie sensed something was wrong. she rejected about half of them at the entrance before being informed by her supervisor that it was a bachelor party. she didn’t really care. she knew they were up to no good.
“i really don’t think we should let ‘em in.” she crossed her arms.
“any good reason?” he asked, annoyed.
“something just feels.. off,” she whispered, “i dunno. feel like they’re up to no good.”
“i don’t pay you to do ‘vibe checks’ on people.”
“i still don’t think we should let ‘em in. feels like they have bad intentions. have you seen how they’ve been eyeing the rest of the female staff?”
“big deal, this is a night club,” he brushed her off. “that’s how men look at women in nightclubs, williams. suck it up.��
“that still doesn’t-“
“do you want to keep your job or not?” he snapped.
she sighed and rolled her eyes, defeated, and hesitantly let the group in. her eyes were glued on them until they sat down at a table, the feeling in her stomach worsening when she realized you’d be dealing with them. it was one thing for any of the other girls to have to deal with them, but for some reason, she found herself way more worried about you. you were newer to the job and a little younger than the other girls. she couldn’t bear the thought of someone possibly harming you, or taking advantage of you, or anything like that. she felt this strange desire to protect you, something she hadn’t really felt towards anyone before. she felt this way toward you, yet she barely knew anything about you.
— 𓆩♥︎𓆪 —
tonight was going to be a long night. the moment those men sat down, you could immediately tell. you could tell by their piercing gazes, which you swore you could physically feel even though you weren’t looking at them, that you’d have to remind them several times they can look but not touch. you heard them whispering stuff to each other while looking at you and then laughing and hitting each other as if they were a group of teenagers. you took a deep breath, put on a smile, and finally went over to their table.
“hey boys,” you greeted with a flirty tone, “anything i can get you guys today?”
“yeah, a piece of that ass.” one of them said, while the rest laughed.
you faked a giggle, trying to do your best to handle this professionally, as you would with all the other annoying customers.
“anyway,” you continued, “do you guys have anything in mind? if not, you can take a look at the stuff we have over there at the bar.” you said, while pointing at the bar.
“we’ll need a moment, babygirl.” one of them replied, holding out his credit card.
you nodded, took the card, and quickly walked away. you absolutely hated that nickname. before you took this job, you didn’t really mind it. but when you started getting called it by basically every single customer you eventually grew to hate it. if you hadn’t been working, you at the very least would’ve given them a death stare or contemplated telling them off (even though you knew you’d never have the balls to do anything of the sort.)
after a couple of minutes, one of them whistled at you to get your attention. strike two. another thing you very much hated. now you were even being treated like an animal. who the hell do they think they are?
you walked over to them and plastered a fake smile on your face and asked if they were ready.
“we just wanted to know what you recommend. i’m sure you drink lots since, you know, you work here.”
some of them chuckled, and you didn’t really get what was funny. but you decided to not start anything and just answered the question.
“well, we have lots of options,” you responded, “we have many of the classics you can find anywhere else, and we also have some that are less common. we just got the louis xiii cognac which is very hard to find, so i’d recommend that one.”
“yeah? are you just saying that ‘cause it’s the most expensive?”
“if you want less pricey options, we have those too.” you replied, avoiding the question. of course you were suggesting it because it was the most expensive. that’s kinda your job. you’re supposed to make money.
“we can afford it.” one of them said.
“yeah, bring us that one.” another chimed in.
you smiled and nodded, walking away. gosh, you felt them draining any energy you had every second you spent near them. you carefully took the bottle and put it on your tray, and grabbed a few glasses and put them with the bottle. you made your way over to their table, placing their glasses in front of them one by one, and although you weren’t looking at any of them, you knew they all had their eyes glued on you. you tried your hardest to pour their drinks quickly enough so you could just get out of there, but not too quickly that they’ll notice. unfortunately for you, they caught onto what you were doing.
“why’re you pouring so fast, babygirl? you in a hurry?”
tonight was going to be a long night.
— 𓆩♥︎𓆪 —
ellie couldn’t wait for her turn at the door to be over. she made sure to peek inside every chance she had, but she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t eyeing you. she couldn’t help it. she couldn’t stop looking at how the black shorts and black baby tee you wore hugged your body and showed off your figure, and she had never been more grateful for the existence of the uniform. but above looking at you because of how attractive you were, she wanted to make sure you were safe. she had dealt with lots of men like them before, and she wouldn’t hesitate to kick them out if things escalated even the slightest bit.
after a while, her supervisor dismissed her and told her to stay inside to make sure nobody was causing any trouble. of course, she went over to the area you were, since there was no one watching over that area and because you were there.
“why’re you pouring so fast, babygirl? you in a rush?” she overheard one of the men speaking to you, with a sort of entitled tone. if she hadn’t been paying attention before, she definitely was now. with the way they were acting, it seemed like they didn’t notice she was there. you were clearly uncomfortable, but tried to play it off, you didn’t want to cause trouble or provoke them. she watched closely as they kept offering you to sit down and drink with them, not listening to you no matter how many times you politely told them you’re not allowed. telling you to “just have one drink, it’s fine” and “no one will know” and they “won't tell your boss.” but your boss was not the only concern. the concern was you. you didn’t know these men, you didn’t know what they could do.
but suddenly, one of the guys sitting on the edge of the seat pulled you in by the hip and forcibly sat you down. in that moment, ellie immediately went over to the table and knew she had to step in.
“sir, you’re not allowed to put your hands on the employees. i’m gonna have to ask you and the rest of your party to step outside.” she said in a stern tone.
“she willingly sat down with us,” one of them lied, “she just wanted to have a drink. nothin’ wrong with tha-“
“i saw what happened. no point in lying. now please step outside before i have you forcibly removed from the premises.”
“yeah?” he stood up to face her. “you’re just a woman. what’re you gonna do? you can’t get all of us out of here.”
“sir, back down.” she warned.
“or what?”
she didn’t respond. instead, she punched him in the face, breaking his nose. a few of his friends stood up, but before they could do anything, some of the security had already gone over to the scene and stopped them, escorting them out as ellie went with you to the break room.
“you alright?” she asked, seeing how shaken up you were.
“i’m, uh, i’m fine. don’t worry.” you responded, sitting down on the couch, still uneasy from the experience. you hated people touching you without your consent, even something that was sort of minor like this. you were already uncomfortable, and this just made it even worse. you didn’t notice ellie had sat down next to you until she wrapped her arm around you and you melted in her embrace. you felt a little embarrassed at how comfortable you felt with a girl you’ve only had small talk with prior, but you were able to push that feeling away because in that moment, you didn’t care. the fact she hadn’t judged you and said “it’s part of the job” or something along those lines, let alone saying you were overreacting was enough to tell you that you could trust her.
“do you, uh, want me to drive you home?” she broke the silence.
“i can’t. i have to finish this shift.” you mumbled. “plus, my roommate has someone over tonight. i can’t go home right now.”
“then, if you want, we can go to my place,” she suggested, quickly adding on “but just so you don’t have to stay in this environment, i’m not trying to be creepy i promise,” because the last thing she wanted was for you to take it the wrong way and be uncomfortable.
“thanks, but, i still have to go back out there and finish my shift.”
she was a little sad. if it was up to her, she’d make you quit and happily support you. she made a lot of money for a college student, between working as a bouncer and dealing weed on the side. she had more than enough to support the both of you, but she’d never talk about anything of the sort out loud.
“i can speak to management for you,” she said, “i’m sure they’ll understand.”
you accepted hesitantly, the voice in the back of your mind telling you you’d just end up fired. but that didn’t matter to you in the moment. you had to get out of there. you couldn’t stand it anymore.
ellie guided you through the back door, making sure you wouldn’t have to face those men again, holding you by the wrist with just enough strength to make sure she wouldn’t let you go easily but not too hard so she wouldn’t make you uncomfortable. she opened her car door for you, waiting a couple seconds for you to get settled in in case you needed her help for whatever reason.
the car ride was short and silent. it wasn’t the awkward kind of silence, more so the kind of silence when there’s nothing to say. it was a comforting silence, a drastic contrast from the loud music in the club that had been blasting in your ears for the past 2 or so hours. you were looking out the window, watching the city lights and buildings as you passed them. ellie would be lying if she said she didn’t steal a few glances at you when you were looking away. she couldn’t help it, you were just so mesmerizingly beautiful she couldn’t help but look at you any chance she could.
when you finally arrived at her place, you were surprised to see she had a house and not an apartment. it wasn’t a big house, but it seemed like it could house about 3 people. you were about to ask about her roommates, but almost as if she read your mind, she said;
“sorry about the mess, i uh, i live alone, so. don’t usually have people over either.”
“it’s fine,” you shook your head, “i’m just grateful you let me come here.”
she noticed you sounded like you were in a better mood. “you feeling a little better now?”
you nodded. “yeah. i guess i just needed to get out of there.” you bit your lip in worry. “but now i don’t know what to do. i’m pretty sure i’ll end up getting fired after leaving like that.”
“after what happened to you? nah. it’s understandable,”
“are you sure? i-i mean, am i not supposed to let them know beforehand-“
“you’ll be fine, don’t worry.” she reassured you. “you’re sort of new, aren’t you?”
“not really. i’ve been working there for a couple months.”
“so you’re new. got it.”
you playfully rolled your eyes. “sure, let’s say that.”
she smiled. “anyway, you wanna do anything? or do you just wanna rest?”
“i guess we could watch a movie or something,” you suggested, “if you want, of course.” you were surprised at how bold you were. it wasn’t anything too bold, sure, but that’s only true for everyone else. for you, something like that, which others might think is minor, is sort of a big deal. not only were you at this girl’s house, but suggesting to watch a movie as well. you were a bit scared that might’ve been too much.
“yeah, sure,” she replied, “you into horror?”
“uhh.. not really..” you admitted.
“it’s fine, we can just watch something else.”
“no, no, it’s fine!” you insisted. it was, in fact, not fine. especially at this time, horror was not your thing. it wasn’t a huge fear of yours or anything, but you were a little embarrassed of the fact you still got scared while watching them, sometimes even got nightmares. but no way you’d admit that to her right there. you felt you were already being too much of a burden on her, so you’d just suck it up to not bother her any further.
a few moments later, you were both on her couch watching some random horror movie she had picked out. you didn’t even know what was going on in the plot, you were way too scared. you’d argue this was one of the scariest movies, scratch that, media in general you’ve ever seen. where did she even find this sort of stuff? ellie was full of surprises indeed.
you didn’t notice you had snuggled up to her, your head laying on her chest, from the fear. once you realized, your face turned red as you pulled away in embarrassment and mumbled some apologies as you moved away. to your surprise, she lightly tightened her grip of her arm she had wrapped around you (which you only now noticed as well), telling you with no need for words that it was fine, and you could stay that way. you didn’t really know how to react to that, but you stayed. something about her was so comforting. you barely knew her, yet you trusted her as if you’d known her all your life. it was a strange feeling. you’d been on multiple dates with the same person many times before yet you still felt more of a connection with your coworker who you had only spoken to a handful of times beforehand. you weren’t even paying attention to the movie anymore. your mind was too busy paying attention to the thoughts racing in your head to process what was going on in the screen about a meter in front of you. you had lots of questions, and the more that popped up in your head, the more your heartbeat sped up.
ellie could feel something was wrong. she lightly lifted up your chin to make you face her, locking eyes with you. she asked if it was because of what happened earlier. you felt like you should look away, but you couldn’t. something about her was just so mesmerizing. you lightly nodded, not wanting to admit all the thoughts in your mind at that moment. you looked into each other's eyes for a couple seconds, before she planted a soft kiss on your lips. it was the type of kiss that happened almost as a reflex, the type that you have almost no control over. you could feel her try to pull away after realizing what she did, but before she fully pulled away you pressed your lips against hers, pulling her in this time in a deeper kiss.
before you knew it, you were straddling her lap as she placed kisses on your neck, occasionally sucking on it softly and leaving light purple marks on your skin. you hadn’t realized how much it was turning you on until you started lightly rocking your hips back and forth, desperate to get any sort of friction. ellie realized what you were doing, and placed her hands on your waist, almost guiding your movement, causing you to let out a few soft moans and whimpers.
“ellie..” you whined.
“i know, baby, i know.”
she carefully lifted you off her lap and laid you down on the couch, hovering over you. she tugged on the hem of your shorts.
“let’s get these off.” she said, as she undid the button and slipped them off you with ease, revealing your soaked cotton panties. “cute,” she thought to herself.
“i’ve barely touched you n’ you’re already so wet,” she teased, rubbing your clit through the thin cloth causing you to moan softly.
after a moment, you started to whine, tired of her teasing.
“desperate, huh?”
you broke eye contact as you looked away in embarrassment. in the back of your mind, you couldn’t believe everything that was going on. you found it a little embarassing, hooking up with a coworker you had barely spoken to prior. but as you had been doing the whole night, you tried to push those thoughts to the back of your mind and focus on the moment.
“don’t feel ashamed, pretty girl.” she said, noticing you felt a little off. something about her caring but almost demanding tone was turning you on even more.
she carefully pulled your panties to the side, sliding two fingers in, thrusting them at a slower but steady pace. this was better, but it still wasn’t enough. you bucked your hips ever so slightly, to tell her you wanted more.
“you’re gonna have to try a little harder than that, baby,” she said. she knew exactly what you meant, but she wanted to hear you say it. you whined in complaint, hoping she wouldn’t make you say it out loud.
“use your words, princess,” she smirked while locking eyes with you.
“please, ellie..” you begged.
“please what?”
“please, more..”
“good girl,” she said under her breath, speeding up her pace and thrusting her fingers inside you twice as fast as she was before, causing you to moan and whimper louder. soon you started feeling a knot forming in your stomach, making you attempt to grip the couch.
“ellie.. fuck..” you moaned.
“i know, pretty. but you don’t get to cum yet.” she smirked, suddenly pulling her fingers out.
you whined at her words and the sudden emptiness inside you, as ellie softly chuckled at your reaction. she found it so cute. she found pretty much everything about you to be cute.
she stood up, and went to grab something from her closet. it was a bright purple strap, and it was quite big. you weren’t sure it would even fit inside you. you watched as she effortlessly took off her pants and put the harness on, walking back to the couch and positioning herself, the tip right in front of your entrance.
“i want you to cum from my cock.”
she started sliding it along your slit, coating it in your slick, causing you to whine a little, before positioning it once again in front of your entrance and slowly sliding the tip inside you easily.
you were still a little scared since you had never done anything like this before. you’ve gotten fingered before, sure, but this was the first time someone used a strap on you. especially one this big.
“ellie..”
“hm?”
“i’ve never, uh,” you stuttered, “done something like this.”
“never gotten fucked with a strap before, huh?” she said, “i could tell. you seem kinda nervous. but relax, princess, i’ll take care of you.”
the nickname only turned you on more. you didn’t get why you loved it so much. it had never crossed your mind, yet you were now sure it was your favorite pet name ever.
with that, she started slowly sliding it in, looking at your facial expressions to make sure she wasn’t hurting you. surprisingly, you were able to take it all. she started thrusting it at a slow pace, gradually speeding up, but not quite fast yet. she definitely wanted to fuck you way harder and faster, but she wanted you to get used to the feeling first.
after a few thrusts you started to get used to the feeling, and it was amazing. she sped up her pace a little more, gripping your thighs, and this time she was able to locate your sweet spot, and boy was she about to abuse it. she hit it with every thrust, making you twitch and moan at every wave of pleasure.
“good fuckin’ girl,” she praised, “already taking my cock so well.”
“ellie.. please..” you begged, between moans, “faster..”
“yeah? you sure you can handle it, tough girl?”
you nodded, and she immediately sped up. she fucked you a little faster than you expected, and it was a little too much, but the overwhelming pleasure was, at the same time, addicting. the sounds of your moans and whimpers, her groans, and your wet cunt filled the room. soon, that familiar knot in your stomach started forming again, except this time it was much more intense, causing you to try and grip the couch once again. she realized what was going on, and started using her thumb to rub circles on your clit. you started tearing up from the overstimulation which was the littlest bit painful but also overwhelmingly pleasurable.
“i wanna hear you say my name, baby,” she demanded, “i know you’re close.”
and almost on cue, you came all over her cock as you moaned her name, just as she demanded, as she fucked you through your orgasm and finally pulling out with a slight pop.
— 𓆩♥︎𓆪 —
it had been about an hour since you finished your.. activity. she insisted on getting a bath started for you, and now there you were on her bed, in one of her t-shirts that was a little big on you, freshly out of the bath. you texted your roommate before getting in the bath to tell her you wouldn’t be coming home tonight, and of course, she didn’t mind that at all.
not only were you on ellie’s bed, but you were cuddling her, trying to sleep. she told you you didn’t have to, and that she just enjoys sleeping with body warmth, but you knew better. maybe it was true, but it sure as hell was not the only reason. but you didn’t mind. you acted stupid and like you bought her story, because truth is, you really wanted to cuddle with her, and you were even thinking of similar excuses if she hadn’t brought it up first.
“you awake?” ellie whispered.
“mhm, sort of.” you replied, in a sleepy voice.
“i just, uh,” she paused for a moment, “i just wanted to know. when will i see you again?”
“on our next shift together.” you joked.
“no, dummy, i mean like this.”
you thought about it for a moment.
“i guess we’ll see,” you responded softly, “i’m pretty sleepy. i think we should talk about this later.”
she seemed satisfied with your response, but she still had the fear you were only saying that to be polite, and you didn’t want anything more or didn’t want this to repeat. of course, she’d respect you if that was the case, although she’d be a little disappointed. but she felt there was something more there, something she couldn’t quite put her finger on. you weren’t like any of the other girls she’s hooked up with before. she wasn’t exactly sure what set you apart from them, but she knew there had to be something.
maybe it was just feelings.
but even if it didn’t seem like that was the case because of your shy personality, you wanted something more. just like her.
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oilivia · 3 years
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“Be a good girl and spread your legs” - w/ Kuroo, Atsumu & Suga
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request:  Ummmm, idk if you're still taking requests, but could I get prompt 20. With Atsumu, Kuroo, and Suga? Pls and thank chu!
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a/n: these were super fun to write and i somehow ended up with three very different things, but i hope you’ll enjoy! please be mindful of the tws, i’m posting them separately for each drabble. no beta! smut under the cut.
pairings: Kuroo w/ virgin reader & slight corruption; Suga w/ daddy kink & dumbification; Atsumu w/ cowgirl, wholesome
wording: 2.1k
if you want to request drabbles, i have a list of prompts here, but please read my rules first here.
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Kuroo
tw: implied virginity, fingering, oral (f receving), slight corruption
“Tetsu-” you moan softly, your hands sinking in his hair, his lips sucking at the delicate skin of your neck. That will leave a mark, but you don’t care. The fact that you are in his dorm room and his roommate could open the door any minute slips from your mind as you feel his hands knead your clothed breasts. All that matters is how good it all feels, how it leaves you wanting more, how his calloused fingers know just where to touch you.
“Be a good girl and spread your legs,” he asks, voice laced with honey. If it was up to him, he’d rip the clothes off of you, free your pretty tits so he could sink his teeth into your perky nipples. But no, he has to take it slow. He doesn’t want to overwhelm you from the start, he doesn’t want you running away from him. You’re so sweet and innocent and your body isn’t used to being touched by a man. You writhe under his fingers, goosebumps littering your skin. He won’t lie, he loves it. Even though his cock twitches painfully in his pants from the lack of friction. He’ll just build you up, steadily and patiently, until you’re on your knees begging for him to fuck you.
Kuroo can see just how shy you are, how you hesitate for a second at his command, your eyes darting to his as if you want to make sure you understood correctly. He smiles sweetly, pressing his hands on the inside of your thighs and pushes them apart slowly. He watches you intently, grinning internally when he sees how you cover your mouth with your hand, averting your eyes as if to hide from his gaze. It’s so cute how embarrassed you are.
Your chest heaves, your breathing shallow. Your whole body feels as if you have a fever - your skin’s burning up, a dull ache in your abdomen. He kneels in front of you and when you feel his finger lightly trace your clothed slit a loud whine escapes you.
He would tease you, tell you that he knows how desperate you are for his cock by the way the wet spot on your white panties grows with his every touch. But he can’t do it yet. He’ll keep the teasing remarks to himself for now, content to watch the string of slick still connecting your folds to your panties when he tugs them down. Your body isn’t as innocent as you are.
“Can I?” he asks, a playful smile on his lips when he sees you nod sheepishly.
Kuroo can’t help but grin when he sees how tight you are, how he’s barely able to push his finger past your entrance. Your moans get louder when you feel his tongue press on your clit, swiping the sensitive nub as his digit thrusts in and out of you incessantly. Will you really cum just from this?
Your walls clench, your body twisting as the pressure in your abdomen snaps, waves of pleasure rippling through you. Your juices spill on his hand as he keeps fucking into you, savoring the lewd expressions on your face as you come undone for him. You’re so beautiful, exquisitely so.
And if that’s how you react to just one finger and a few strokes of his tongue, he can’t wait to see how pretty you’ll look creaming on his cock, the fucked out expressions you’ll be making. Sometimes being patient pays off and Kuroo is sure this is definitely one of those times.
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Suga
tw: hard dom Suga, daddy kink, dumbification, infantilization, praise, edging, overstim, dacryphilia, sex toys, mentions of alcohol  
When you met Suga you thought he was just another pretty boy, nothing too special. The kind you take home to your parents or marry after you’re done experimenting.
“Be a good girl and spread your legs,” he commands, sharp eyes fixed on your body.
Turns out, his favorite pastime is watching you squirm as he fucks your brains out. All it took was stumbling into his bed one night after work, both of you drunk and lonely. And now you spent most evenings on your knees servicing his cock and waiting for him to take pity on you and stretch your walls.
You comply, opening your thighs and giving Suga a perfect view of your pretty cunt, soaked and throbbing. A small vibrator buzzes happily inside, pulling soft whimpers from your throat. He pushed it inside you on the lowest setting more than an hour ago - punishment for being late. The setting that isn’t high enough to get you off, but it’s high enough to make a mess out of your hole, to have you begging for him to let you cum.
“You look so good like this, you know? Like a dumb little baby, look how your cunny gushes.” He kneels between your legs, scooping the liquid between your folds with a finger “You like having that vibe inside you, hmm? Does it feel good?” He questions, his tone belittling. But you don’t care. All you care about is how good that tiny touch felt. You want to ask for more, but you know how much Suga hates it when you speak out of turn, so you settle on answering his question.
“I-It feels good, daddy,” your voice feels so small and broken as soft moans escape between each of your words. He smiles and your heart swells. You did good, he likes your answer. He watches you proudly. When you two met you were such a little brat. He worked so hard to make you behave, to make you into the dumb little fuckdoll that you are now. He loves you so much.
“That’s my baby. Now, tell me, will you be late again?” His palm is raised over your aching clit, ready to slap the bundle of nerves if you say the wrong thing.
“N-No, daddy,” you try. He smiles again. You sigh with relief, your chest rising and falling with your every breath, your nipples perked from the rush of emotions.
“Good girl,” he coos. His fingers find your clit, rubbing and pinching. “Is this what you want? You want me to let you cum?”
You nod desperately, cries and pleads erupting from your throat as  you feel your climax within your reach. Just a little bit more and you’ll cum. You let out a whine when he stops and pulls the vibe out of you - you were so close.
“Shh, it’s okay.” Suga tugs down his boxers, his cock springing, large and throbbing. You lick your lips in anticipation. He gets between your thighs once more, aligning his tip with your hole. He pushes it in, torturously slow. Your legs are on his shoulders, your hands pinned above your head by his strong grip. He chuckles when he sees the way you squirm, how hard you’re trying to get more of his cock inside your plush walls. “You’re such a dumb little baby, so needy for me. You can’t cum without daddy’s help. What would you do without me, hmm?”
“I-I need m-more, daddy, please,” you beg, tears welling up in your eyes. Your insides felt like they were on fire. And you were so close to the sweet release of your orgasm. If only daddy took pity on his little baby and helped her cum.
“If you’re asking so nicely.” Suga slams his hips into yours, shoving the rest of his cock against your cervix all at once. He thinks you look so cute with your salty tears streaming down your face. You don’t last long, not with the pace at which he’s rutting into you. Your mind goes blank, tongue lolling out of your open mouth, your body convulsing under Suga’s. And he keeps thrusting into you, not even letting you catch your breath. You climax again, harder than the first time, your head dizzy, body going limp. Your walls are clamming on his cock, squeezing it and milking him for every last drop of his cum.
“My pretty baby, so good for me,” he whispers as he gives you a soft kiss on the corner of your mouth. “Let me clean you up and I’ll cuddle you.” You don’t even hear his last words as you succumb to sleep, your exhaustion overtaking you.
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Atsumu
tw: cowgirl, nipple play, kinda wholesome, Atsumu says baby twice, somehow this one ended up super sweet
Were you always such a tease? Atsumu asks himself as he stares at the way your tits bounce, threatening to spill from your low-cut dress. You’re skipping towards him, huge smile on your face and arms open to engulf him in a hug. You haven’t seen each other in a while, not since you moved to a different city for your job. But none of that matters now - you’re back.
Just like you’re back on his lap fifteen minutes later. Your lips are wrapped around his, your hands playing with the hem of his pants. You taste just as good as he remembers. God, how he missed you. He sucks on your tongue, his fingers pinching your nipples. He smirks when he realizes you’re not wearing a bra. He always hated how those pesky things got in the way of his touches. You bite his bottom lip when he pulls away from the kiss and you smile, a devilish glint dancing in your eyes.
“Did I give you permission to stop?” You tease and he laughs. You’re even feistier than he remembers.
“Fuck, baby, I missed you so much,” his fingers dig into your back as he breathes deeply, taking in your intoxicating scent. “Be a good girl and spread your legs.”
He thinks your cocky smirk is adorable. “When was I ever a good girl, ‘Tsumu?” Still, you oblige, not because he asked you to, but because you want it just as much as he does. You move to straddle his lap, your hand between your bodies, stroking his cock through his pants. His mouth crashes with yours again in a sloppy kiss, tongues twisting as you swallow each other’s moans.
“You want me?” you question, your clouded eyes lying on his, mouth slightly open as you pant trying to catch your breath. His cock twitches at the hypnotizing sight - you could’ve asked him for anything right now and he would oblige.
“What do you think?”
“I think you can’t wait to bury your cock in my cunt,” a smirk plastered on your face as you reach for his boxers, rubbing your thumb in circles over his leaking tip. He hisses at the unexpected touch.
“You know I do.” Lifting yourself on your tiptoes, you pull your panties aside with a grin, placing Atsumu’s tip at your drenched entrance. You gasp as you slowly sink on his cock, relishing the way his girth spreads your ravenous cunt, inch by agonizing inch. You’re not prepped and even though you’re wet, your tight walls burn as his tip pushes inside you. But you couldn’t wait, not with his tantalizing cock finally within your grasp.
The way you’re riding him, arms wrapped around his shoulders, naked tits pressed against his taut chest is driving him crazy with lust. Why did he ever let you go? Your moans sound so sweet and he whispers your name in your ear, over and over, like a prayer. He licks at the shell of your ear and your cries get louder. You gyrate your hips, his palms resting on your waist as he meets your thrusts halfway.
“Your cock feels so good, ‘Tsumu,” you mewl as you pick up the pace, chasing your high with each slam of your hips.
“And you’re so fucking tight. Fuck, baby, look at me. I want to see your face when you cum,” your cunt is clenching snugly around his cock at Atsumu’s words. You indulge him. He watches you bend and undulate as you grind against him faster and faster. He feels his own climax build up and just as your body thrashes in his arms with your orgasm, he fills you up with his cum, his tip resting against your cervix.
“Let’s stay like this for a bit,” Atsumu mutters and you nuzzle your head in the crook of his neck, humming in agreement.
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© 2021 all content belongs to @cherrysdollhouse​, please do not modify or repost without permission
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chateautae · 3 years
Text
the most wonderful time of the year | kth. (m)
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➵ summary :  taehyung hasn’t seen you since high school graduation, but when he finds himself in need of a date for his friend’s annual christmas party, running into you is like a godsend; especially when he once had feelings for you, and little did he know, you felt the same way all along.
➵ pairing : taehyung x reader
➵ genre :  nonidol!au, f2l, fluff, smut
➵ rating : 18+
➵ word count : 19k
➵ warnings : mutual pining, sexual content, swearing, dom!tae, cuddling resulting in over the clothes stuff, rough fingering, oral (f. receiving), dirty talk, big dick!tae cause we know he’s packing, marking, restraint (with his own hands), choking, begging, unprotected sex (wrap it up peeps), hitting it from the back 😜, mirror (?) sex (reflection of a window), rough sex but then i love you sex, praising, slight humiliation, denied orgasm, creampie, aftercare
part of ksmutclub’s winter project 2020!, using prompt #7: “did everyone else come with a date?”
➵ a/n : thank you to @getmemyfries​ for beta-reading and constantly reassuring me about this fic, idk where she’s been all my life 😭, but surprise!! would you believe me if i told you guys i grinded this in just 3 days?? because YES i did, 19k in three days as a Christmas gift pretties, happy late holidays!!, comments and feedback are always appreciated <3
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“Are you serious, Jimin?” 
“Very. I don’t know how you didn’t get the memo, literally everyone was talking about it.” 
“Did everyone else come with a date? There has to be at least one person who didn’t.” 
“And that one person is you, Tae. Did you forget that I made the theme all about mistletoe? Who did you expect to kiss under it, me?” 
“Super funny, Jimin. I just got really busy and I don’t even think I was paying attention to you.” 
“Well, it’s your loss now, everyone came with a date and you’ll be third-wheeling the whole night. You can’t blame us either, it’s cuffing season and you know it.” 
“Do I really have to come? I’ll just spend Christmas with my family.” 
“And ruin their vacation with your annoying ass? What a lovely son, an even better best friend for ditching my party.” 
“Okay, Jimin, I get it. Just-fuck, alright, I’ll find someone. Please tell me you didn’t plan anything too couply in case I have to bring an absolute stranger.” 
“Hmm, I’ll think about it.” 
And Jimin cut the call without a second to spare. 
Taehyung stood there baffled, appalled by his best friend for not even having said goodbye. But then again, maybe he really deserved it. Taehyung had just become too busy with his job this year to even think about Jimin and his friends’ party, allowing it to inhabit the back of his mind and loom over him for weeks, though not giving it the time of day he should’ve. 
And now he’s stuck in a situation he doesn’t know how to get out of. The party is in just two days, how exactly was he supposed to find someone that would even agree to accompany him? 
One, they would have to be someone explicitly bored on Christmas Eve. Two, comfortable with meeting complete strangers and spending an entire night with them. Third, they would have to be willing to even fake-date him. 
Taehyung knew he could at least satisfy the third requirement with just a smidge of his charm and good looks, though the real issues were the other two requirements, especially the first one. 
Who the fuck is ever doing nothing on Christmas Eve? 
These are the exact thoughts that clouded Taehyung’s mind, sighing heavily as he dejectedly sauntered into a coffee shop after work. It wasn’t the usual place, but he decided on a new one in search of a possible partner; even if it were a stranger from a different coffee shop, he’d take what he could get. 
It’s precisely why he began scanning the room just enough to discern any potential date as he waited in line. With his hands in his pockets, lips buried into his plaid scarf that draped over his brown winter coat, and attempted to make eye contact with any female he thought eligible. 
He spotted some cute girls, though made quick judgements about them not fitting his requirements; some meeting boyfriends, family, yapping away about Christmas plans as though the whole store needed to hear about it.
Pulling out his phone, he considered he had some female friends, maybe co-workers he could convince to tag along. It sounded like a great idea in his head, though when he scrolled though his contacts carefully, he found himself coming up short once again. 
Not only had he seen his friends’ stories, all flaunting their very apparent Christmas plans, but even more so his co-workers having literally informed him about either flying back home, meeting family or easing up far, far away on a tropical beach. 
And he definitely knew there’d be no one available. 
All of it made Taehyung feel deflated once he had placed his order and waited patiently by the store’s counter. He thought he was royally fucked, needed to forego social etiquette and just ask a damn stranger at this point. 
Sighing yet again, he mindlessly looked over to the side, catching a glimpse of the person ordering after him with a voice he suddenly recognized. Taehyung’s eyebrows immediately shot to the sky once he took a double-take, a near injustice to say he was only shocked. 
He was practically floored, had to rub his eyes a few times just to make sure he wasn’t seeing things. Surely he’d lost it after the gruesome shift he just pulled at work, because he was pondering how in God’s name was he seeing you of all people ordering. 
How the hell did you manage to look 100x prettier than you used to, Taehyung thought. It was no doubt you; your smile still charming as ever, your hair still elegantly soft, your eyes still naturally sparkling under every Christmas light in the store just like they always did. 
It was really you. 
The same you he knew all throughout high school though moved away after graduation, the same you who was brilliant at every subject though could never understand math, the same you who waltzed into school with that plaid winter coat anyone could recognize you for, the same you who always teased him about his love for pineapple on pizza because you could never comprehend the taste. 
The same you he once liked.   
It was actually you, bundled up in a gray winter coat and white scarf as you smiled a thank you to the barista, eventually making your way over to the counter Taehyung was situated at, settling next to him without having noticed. 
Taehyung thought you were an angel sent from heaven, a Godsend, his one and only true saviour once he studied you up close, concluding that you weren’t just some mirage but in fact his real-life friend from years ago who could possibly rescue him from this Christmas party fuck up. 
And so he didn’t waste a single, valuable moment, because you know what they say, ‘carpe diem’, oh captain my captain. 
“Y/N Y/L/N? Is that you?”
Your surprised eyes snapped towards the oddly familiar low voice, eyebrows shooting up once you resgitered just who exactly said your name. You seemed to be in the same disbelief as Taehyung, himself utterly grateful you’d actually recognized him. 
“Oh my God, Kim Taehyung?”
“Yeah, it’s me.” Taehyung laughed shyly. “Damn, how long has it been? 5? 6 years?” 
“6 years, yeah.” You confirmed with a smile. “Since graduation.” 
“I can’t believe that was 6 years ago, seems just like yesterday.” Taehyung couldn’t wipe the stupid smile off his face remembering the chaotic party by the lake you all threw together, resulting in someone nearly drowning, Taehyung downing more alcohol than he ever had in his life, and you shamelessly shoving everyone into the water until you eventually capsized yourself. 
Taehyung had to collect himself to coherently speak sentences again, nearly feeling his neurons incessantly firing off in his brain. “But wow, when did you come back to town?” 
“3 months ago, I was transferred for work.” You informed casually, though your sweet smile was infectious. “Wow, I’m.. I can’t believe I ran into you here.” You were honestly still shocked, marveling at the fact you somehow bumped into Kim Taehyung, the Kim Taehyung from high school.  
The same Taehyung who teased you about being terrible at math, the same one who only ever brought strawberry jam sandwiches to school and God forbid someone ever took a bite. The same Taehyung who was the cute social butterfly everyone completely adored at school. 
The same Taehyung you once liked.   
“It doesn’t feel long indeed, but you look.. different.” You did a light scan of him, noticing just how how much taller, more handsome and manlier he appeared. It was reflected in the edge of his jawline, crisp face structure and broader upper body. 
Quite frankly, he looked incredibly striking, almost intimidatingly so, and you could only think about when Taehyung used to appear a little scrawnier, lankier though still attractive all the same with his adorable eyes and plushy lips. 
It was nearly daunting to see the gorgeous difference now. 
“You look different too.. good different.” He added with a smile as he looked you over, and it was pleasant to see he still had that same boxy smile, the same little creases at the corner of his eyes. Though instead now, his smile looked devilishly handsome, and it was hard to not trip over your own feet about it. 
“You too. You’re so much taller now.” You commented, craning your neck just to converse with him. 
“And you’re still short, huh?” 
Your mouth flew open, scandalized at the comment though laughed when he chuckled at your expression. “Oh c’mon, you’re still gonna tease me about how short I am? It’s been six years, Taehyung.” 
“Hey, don’t think it’s not payback for all those times you lectured me about how ‘inhuman’ liking pineapple on pizza was. I still have your PowerPoint presentations saved.” Taehyung retorted through a laugh, remembering the way you’d really take the time to conjure up presentations just so he could be  unconvinced of the preference. 
“Okay, okay. You got me. Is there ever a way I could make it up to you... Assistant Curator Kim?” You read the lanyard that hung around his neck, inspecting it to see his ID photo along with his job title. 
“Ah,” Taehyung exclaimed, scrambling for the lanyard. “I was in a rush to get out of work so I left it on by accident.” Taehyung explained a little embarrassed, unhooking it from around his neck. 
“Why were you in a rush?” You knitted your eyebrows together, only asking out of innocent curiosity, though Taehyung lit up like a Christmas tree, knowing this was his golden opportunity and he was definitely going to take his chance. 
“Uh.. do you still remember Park Jimin and the rest of our friends?” Taehyung started. 
“Oh my God, of course I do! You’re all still friends?”
“Unfortunately, yeah. I mean, even when we get tired of each other we know nobody else will put up with us, so we’re still close.” Taehyung snickered, remembering him and his friends were still the same 7 dorks from high school. 
“Awh, I wish I could see them, we used to have so much fun together.” You pouted, shoving your hands into your pockets as you recalled amusing memories from years ago; stupid adventures to the lake by your school, chasing the sunset, knowing you probably incessantly bothered the owner of that one gas station you always visited. 
“Actually, the reason why I was rushing was because Jimin holds an annual Christmas Eve party, and this time around he made it a ‘bring-a-date’ memo, and I kinda got too busy to remember.” Taehyung began scratching the back of his neck, a little shy considering he didn’t really listen to Jimin when he should’ve. 
“Ohh.” You nodded understandingly. “So you forgot to get a date?” 
“Yeah.” Taehyung confirmed, nodding with some disappointment in himself. “But say, you mentioned a favour, right?” Taehyung eyed you knowingly, hand never leaving his neck as he forced himself to get the question out. “Are you doing anything on Christmas Eve?” 
You were a little taken aback, thinking you knew exactly where he was going with this, and also thinking it was a damn Christmas miracle. You remembered your unfortunate situation for Christmas Eve; your parents having booked a cottage for themselves considering you’d be working that day, though gladly enough your boss decided it was the most wonderful time of the year, so why the fuck would he keep people hostage at work? 
It landed you with quite literally nothing to do on the joyous day, and excitement began to fill your chest already about your answer, though you composed yourself to appear normal. 
“No, actually. My parents are at a cottage together, so I was going to be home.” 
Taehyung could’ve been on cloud nine right about now, thanking God or whatever supreme being for answering his prayers. You’d literally checked off his every requirement perfectly, and now all that was left was...
“Would you like come to Jimin’s party as my date? I know it’s only in 2 days and it’s really sudden, but I’m kinda stuck right now and I promised Jimin I would come after finding someone, he’ll probably kick my ass if I don’t-” 
“I’d love to come.” You broke out into a grin at his adorable rambling, nearly giddy your assumption from before was exactly correct.
“Wait, seriously? You mean that?” Taehyung asked in wonderment. 
“Why would I lie to you, Taehyung?” You chuckled at the endearing way his face was lighting up, trying to ensure he couldn’t see the stars in your eyes as you looked at him.  
“Oh my God, you actually just.. saved my life.” Taehyung reveled, expression of utter gratitude. 
“Don’t mention it. It’s all I can do after making you sit through 10 minutes of me berating you for liking fruit on pizza. It’s still weird, by the way.” 
“Hey, don’t make me take your drink and ask you to jump for it.” Taehyung chastised, biting back a smile at the fact that you two still bickered like old times. 
“Fair point, so in two days, huh?” 
“Mhm. Can I get your number, actually? I’ll send you the details tonight.” Taehyung began digging for his phone in his pocket. 
“Oh, yeah of course.” You agreed as you went for yours. You both huddled a little closer to exchange the digits, trading phones and adding your names into each other’s contacts. It dawned a slight fuzzy feeling in your chest, getting a whiff of Taehyung’s masculine cologne and realizing in this proximity, just how incredibly ravishing Taehyung had in fact grown up, how much larger and broader he was in comparison to you. 
That he was a man now, not the quirky little dork you once knew, and that thought alone caused something to momentarily alight inside you. 
He was a man now. 
“Remember when we only had iPods and had to talk through our land lines?” Taehyung took a trip down memory lane and grounded you back to Earth, returning your phone to you. 
“Ah yes, when technology was just expanding and us 90′s kids were always caught in the weird middle.” You reminisced as he chuckled, recalling the older days. 
You were just finishing typing in your name for your contact, nearly clicking save until you decided to add the little bow emoji next to your name, handing Taehyung’s phone back to him. 
“A bow?” Taehyung inquired, finding it cute. 
“I deserve it, I’m your little Christmas present under your tree, aren’t I?” You flashed him a cute flower pose with a kittenish grin, the barista calling out Taehyung’s order just after. 
Taehyung could only smile widely, endeared you still had that same playful charm. “Yeah, you are.” He made for his drink and nabbed it, fixing his phone back into this pocket before addressing you. “I’ve gotta get going. I’ll see you in 2 days, okay? It was seriously great meeting you again. Y/N.” 
“You too, I’ll see you then!” You chimed with a wave as Taehyung began stepping away, almost turning from him until he suddenly called out to you one last time, just about through the door.  
“Thank you again, Y/N, I owe you, my Christmas present!” He shouted his last words through a stupid smile, you returning the same one as a welcome before Taehyung exited the shop. 
And you couldn’t stop yourself from breaking out into the goofiest grin then, cheeks hotter than you remembered. You were glad Taehyung was still the same charismatic, easily lovable person from high school, the same charm and adorable impishness about him. 
Only now, he was all grown up and matured, no longer the slightly awkward, though heartfelt kid who liked stealing your history notes. And you became a little afraid feeling the same flutter in your heart from 6 years ago, curious if it was just a momentary lapse upon seeing him again, or signaling the ignition of an old flame it took you years to forget. 
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Taehyung : remember to bring your competitive side today ;)
You : omg, what did jimin plan? 
Taehyung : you’ll have to wait and see 
Taehyung : jimin’s a creative one, remember? 
You : how could i forget? i’m never forgiving him for making me spend 3 hours writing calligraphy for that anthro project 😭
Taehyung : man, the guys are gonna love seeing you again
Taehyung : be there in 5! 
You : gotchu! 
You hated that you smiled so stupidly at your screen, never having forgotten the fluttery feeling Taehyung always managed to manifest in your stomach.
You clicked your phone screen off and checked over your outfit for the umpteenth time, wanting to look good not only for Taehyung (though that was the primary reason) but also for the rest of the crew. It’d seriously been too long since you last saw each other, having always been up to dumb shenanigans in high school though sadly parting ways after graduation. 
It was only inevitable with everyone’s future plans being so dissimilar, you having gone down the road of law and miraculously scoring a scholarship to a prestigious university a few towns over, spelling your departure from your beloved childhood city and therefore, goodbye to everyone you knew. 
You were glad the boys managed to remain so closely-knitted despite their different paths; Taehyung having clearly acquired a job at a museum considering his love for art. Last time you remembered, Jimin was an aspiring dancer, Hoseok was a natural at hospitality, Seokjin always rambled on about acting, Jungkook was gifted with a camera, Namjoon adored books and Yoongi wouldn’t trade music for the world. 
It was bittersweet recalling such memories, having to leave behind everything you knew to pursue your own dream. Bitter, though sweet knowing you had larger than life opportunities awaiting you. It was precisely what landed you your current job, working comfortably at a high-status law firm albeit stealing very much of your time. 
It was perfect, nonetheless, since the main office was located back home and you had just been transferred 3 months ago, finding your way back 6 years later. You didn’t know if the boys were still in town, had no real clue where their lives went with only stray social media posts indicating they were still alive and healthy. 
So running into Taehyung all of a sudden? It made you more than glad, remembering not only your fun times together as a group, but your comfortable friendship with him, and the undeniable feelings you’d developed overtime. 
Suffice to say, you both were quirky yet cute, and you made perfect sense. Not only did it land you two a supportive relationship full of laughs and teasing, but also numerous instances where someone’s actions or behaviour became suggestive, questioned the borders of actual friendship between you though nobody willing to take the leap, and it left all your friends inquiring exactly when you two would start dating. 
Though that was the sad part, you never did. And the reason why? You have no real clue. It simply never dawned on you to express your feelings towards Taehyung in fear of him not feeling the same, thinking your crush was just a phase and you’d eventually view him as a friend again, a process of denial you repeated for the 4 grueling years of high school.
Though the second you realized you’d have to say goodbye so soon, with the possibility you’d never see him again, you realized Taehyung was the one boy you truly loved, and sometimes questioned if you still did. 
It hurt to have to hug him one last time before you disconnected, remembering the way you cried having to part from everyone, and Taehyung held you against him until your eyes dried, waving an innocent goodbye before you rounded the corner of your street and disappeared forever. 
To this day you haven’t got a clue if Taehyung ever felt the same, always chalking up his little lingering touches, hugs and double entendres to his naturally flirtatious and outgoing nature. It hindered your ability to say anything, thinking over the years maybe your non-confessional departure was an enormous mistake. 
So when you heard the doorbell of your apartment ring, in the five minutes Taehyung promised, your heart couldn't help but leap at the thought you’d see him again, meet all your old friends and spend an entire festive, fun-filled night with them. 
You made for the door without a second thought and pulled it ajar, meeting Taehyung’s somehow more stunning self all ready to go. He’d decided today to dress with a tan plaid coat, black turtle neck poking out from underneath paired with black slacks to match; and you realized Taehyung definitely invented the all-black look. 
Sources? You. 
You almost gawked, his hair set to reveal some forehead though curl just before his eyebrows, and it was evilly handsome. He was evilly handsome. 
You remembered he was standing right in front of you, thinking a good moment has passed since you uttered anything, a warm smile as you addressed him. “Hi.” 
“Hi.” He greeted back, scanning over you, and you didn’t miss the way his eyes lingered for a second on your legs. You’d gone for your same gray coat, though surprisingly with an all black outfit underneath as well, cute wrap around dress with a v line dipping just generously enough, all paired with pantyhose. 
Who cares about a little cold when you want to look cute anyway, right? 
“We’re matching, it’s cute.” He complimented, his smile just a little impish as it met your chest momentarily though flashed back up to you. 
“I guess you’re cute too.” You shrugged, nearly hiding your face under his scrutiny. 
“We should get going, m’lady. Jimin’ll chew my head off if I’m late too.” Taehyung feigned a sophisticated tone, turning aside and holding out his arm for you to loop like a gentleman. 
You chuckled just a little and clutched your side bag, hooking onto his arm as you switched the lights of your apartment off and shut the door behind you. 
“Now would the kind sir tell me what we’re doing today?” You inquired as Taehyung began walking you down the hallway, peering at his God-like side profile. “You’ve been so mysterious about it.” 
Taehyung clicked his tongue disapprovingly. “Now what’s the point of a surprise if I tell you?” 
“But why is it a surprise? Don’t tell me it’s something ridiculous like rock climbing.” You playfully scolded, trying to keep up with his long strides as he led you towards the elevator. 
“Maybe it’s just to see the way your face will light up when you find out.” Taehyung suggested with narrowed eyes as he looked down at you, you staring back at him in scrutiny until you both snickered. 
And as you entered the elevator arm in arm with him, maybe you felt that same skip of your heartbeat from years ago. 
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“Holy shit, Y/N Y/L/N? Is that you?” Jimin’s face was utterly surprised, his warm, puppy eyes you remember too well wide as he held the door open.
“Of course it is, Park Jimin!” You cheered as you held your arms out for a hug, his gentle arm wrapping around your torso as he beamed.
“The guys are not gonna believe this, I gotta tell em’. Come in, come in!” Jimin ushered you and Taehyung inside, redirecting his attention to the beautiful, open space condo he called his humble abode. “Guys! Come to the front, look who’s here!”
You and Taehyung were propping your boots off when people eventually came piling into the front foyer and responding to Jimin absentmindedly. All were similarly unsuspecting their eyes widened when landing on you, sounding the next slew of hilarious commentary you’d missed too damn much. 
“No way, is that Y/N?”
“Holy fuck, Y/N?”
“Y/N, we thought you left town, when did you come back?”
“Taehyung, how the hell did you find her?”
“Even better, how the fuck did he get her to come as his date?” It was Jungkook who made the quip that elicited everyone’s snickering, yourself simply overwhelmed by the amount of memories that came back just by the sound of their quite manlier now, though familiar voices.
They all still had the same charming features, each of them reminiscent of their teenaged selves, but the difference? Now they were polished into captivatingly good-looking men you were baffled to even know at this point. 
“Oh my God, it’s been 6 years, just let me hug you guys!” You excitedly gestured for them to come to you, friendly smiles all around as you embraced and reunited. 
“Jungkook, why wouldn’t she agree? You trying to say something?” Taehyung didn’t let the earlier insult go, eyebrows quirked as he retorted.
“Dude, Y/N has always been out of your league.” Yoongi added.
“And honestly, now she’s even more out of your league.” Seokjin joined the teasing and it erupted another bout of cackling from the group, you only left to shyly scrunch your nose and giggle.
“Okay, okay, let’s move from standing here, yeah? There’s a party and 6 years worth of catching up to do!” Jimin chimed, chastising everyone huddled by the corridor and allowing you and Taehyung to settle into the home.
Jimin was still the meticulous perfectionist you knew back then, his home adorably charmed with Christmas decorations that made his place feel incredibly warm. His pretty Christmas tree in the corner with some gifts wrapped underneath, his fireplace adorned with pretty stockings, even the small trinkets scattered around were reminding your sadly adult-self that it was indeed Christmas, and it’s meant to be jolly. 
It automatically created an atmosphere of festivity, and catching sight of the dates each friend brought moving about, it only felt more like the holidays with 14 people occupying the home. 
You were marveling with a wide smile at the scene before you, everyone moving back into the house to resume what they were previously doing until you suddenly felt someone’s hands hook onto the neck collar of your jacket from behind. You whirled around in an instant with seeking eyes, viewing the culprit was none other than the only owner of the largest, most slender hands you still found incredibly attractive.
Goddamn you.
“Sorry, I’ll just take your jacket for you.” Taehyung realized he may have startled you. 
“Oh!” You exclaimed, hurriedly shredding off the layer not having noticed you were still wearing it. “I could put it away myself though, give me yours.”
You reached for Taehyung’s jacket in his hands, though he immediately jut the jacket further away from you in protest. “No, no. You’re my date, I’m taking it.”
“But Tae-”
“Hey, you’re my present, remember? You deserve it.” Taehyung mimicked you from your exchange at the coffee shop, you ultimately acquiescing as a result.
“Fine.” You rolled your eyes playfully, though a laugh was pulling at you all the same. “What would you be, though?” You asked out of curiosity. “If I’m the present, what are you?” 
Taehyung toyed with your question in his thoughts until he chose the perfect answer, lips growing into a smirk as he drew closer to your face a little. “The one who gets to open it up.”
Something shot through you that was alarming, his cocked eyebrow indicative he was being suggestive, and you played it off with a scoff. “It’s not even Christmas morning yet, and I know you’re just the goodest little boy on Earth who’d wait until he can open his presents.” You clasped your hands together, condescendingly feigning innocence. 
“Or maybe you just never got to know, Y/N.” Taehyung then suddenly leaned down much closer to your face, inches from you as he looked into your eyes. “I haven’t always been a good boy.” 
Taehyung was boring something undistinguishable into you, though the double meaning of his words left apparent heat in the air between you. 
And here it fucking was again, those same double entendres Taehyung had always shot your way though you always took it as him simply fooling around, so you always joined in with your own jokes, assuming the same approach now.  
“Hmm, we’ll see about that, Good boy. Santa’s watching.” You countered as you patted his chest sarcastically, causing Taehyung to stand to his full height biting his lip. 
He stared at you for a moment before walking away, noticing how long his legs were and the unfair curve of his ass, and you suddenly gained a new feature of his to ogle at. He eventually disappeared and you breathed, temporarily forgetting you had a dumb habit of holding your breath whenever he was so close; his piney with a hint of ocean breeze cologne having been left behind, and hitting you like a truck just as much as his all black outfit did. 
God fucking dammit. 
You decided to ignore your intrusive thoughts and waltz into the party instead, grabbing yourself a drink and eventually making your way towards some of the boys’ pretty dates. It was refreshing to feel the presence of women, thanking the Heavens they were all relatively sweet and amicable. 
Conversation always came easy to you, what with being a lawyer who has to be a master with words anyway, so it wasn’t difficult to not only befriend some of the girls, but also reconnect with the boys merrily, Taehyung by your side. 
“Y/N, how dare you not contact any of us about coming back?” Hoseok asked, a little upset timbre in his tone. 
“Yeah, I’m actually a little hurt you ended up coming with Tae of all people. After all the books I shared with you?” Namjoon feigned disappointment, a hand to his heart in near heartbreak. 
“Dude, what’s wrong with her coming with me? Not my fault you gave her boring ass books.” Taehyung defended.
“Tae, you’d steal her history notes for fuck’s sake.” Namjoon countered with narrowed eyes. 
“Guys, it’s been years. I just thought it’d been too long, so I didn’t say anything.” You stopped them, sadly remembering the way communication dwindled out the more you all progressed in your life. 
“Look, you’re always welcomed, Y/N. You think I’d forget the girl who pulled an all-nighter just to edit my shitty final essay for English? I told you I’d write your name on my damn tombstone when I got an 80.” Seokjin laughed with a glass of eggnog, though supportive in his remark and it made you reminisce. 
“I have no clue to this day how you passed English on just Sparknotes. Jungkook hated English more than you and he still managed to actually read 1984.” You chastised him like old times, though now it was a memory that brought a smile to your face. 
“Look, I wasn’t interested in knowing the asshole motives of Big Brother and the 3-minute hate speech.” Seokjin defended himself. 
“2-minute, and it was still a good book.” 
“You’re telling me 60 pages of that dumb manifesto Winston found was good?” Taehyung perked up with crossed arms, quirking his eyebrows at you in incredulousness.  
“Oh c’mon, you learn the entire history of the Party and all their bullshit.” 
“And you’re still a nerd, I see.” Taehyung ticked his head to the side with his snarky remark. 
“Oh shut up, I got a better mark than you on the final essay anyway.” You rolled your eyes. 
“Doesn’t take away from the fact that you’re a nerd.” Taehyung countered. 
You gave a disapproving, scrutinizing look as you marched your way over to Jimin’s Christmas tree, comically gesturing to the Balsam Fir beside you. “I’m literally your Christmas present under the tree, Taehyung, you have to be nice to me.” You chastised him though it only made the boys looking on crack up. 
“Y/N, you’re still hilarious as fuck.” Hoseok was lighting up with laughter, his pretty giggles sounding in a way that honestly made you giggle in the end too, Taehyung only letting up because you were just so you, and it tugged at his heart strings.
“Speaking of Jungkook from earlier, where is he? I just remembered the math notes he owes me his life for.” You perked up, gauging his presence around in the condo. 
“He’s over there eating the chocolate chips, yah, Jungkook! Stop it!” Seokjin scolded from across the room where Jimin and Yoongi were bustling about in the kitchen, and you became confused hearing the mention of chocolate chips. 
“Chocolate chips? I mean, I’m not complaining, but that’s quite the eccentric choice for party food.” You held up your hands in mock surrender. 
“Oh, Taehyung didn’t tell you? It’s for the competition later.” Namjoon informed, though you only furrowed your eyebrows. 
“Competition?” 
“Yeah, baking competition. Jimin planned a couple’s one for his mistletoe theme. I’m beating all your asses, by the way. I’m a genius at decorating.” Hoseok folded his arms with a self-satisfied expression. 
“Please, my girlfriend and I hold weekly bake-offs, watch yourselves, losers.” Seokjin calmed everyone down with his own greatness, you simply becoming beyond excited. 
You turned to Taehyung in an instant, expression completely telling of wonder as you inquired with a high-pitched tone. “Tae, you didn’t tell me we were having a baking competition, that’s so cool!” You beamed, elatedly looking towards Jimin and Yoongi preparing ingredients.  
“Taehyung’s a cryptic one, remember?” Namjoon joked, trying to stifle a laugh with a hand over his mouth, and Taehyung immediately defended himself.
“Shut up, hyung.” He sounded offended, though the smile tugging at his lips indicated after years of friendship, he’d never actually grow vexed at his admirable friend. 
Taehyung then met your eyes, smile growing more apparent, warmer. “I told you it was to see the way your face would light up, didn’t I?” He tilted his head to the side then, eyes playfully studying you as he confirmed his observation. “Yup, your eyes totally still sparkle the same.” 
You couldn’t help but fill with another wave of fuzziness, feeling as though Taehyung always knew how to make your insides all giddy, and maybe even thinking what’s so wrong if your feelings really were coming back? 
You could only smile sheepishly at him, the rest of the boys knowingly watching the two of you like they have for years, everyone only falling out of the trance of the moment when Jimin’s voice called out from the kitchen.  
“Alright Martha Stewarts, who’s starting the ass-kicking?” 
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“Hyung! That’s not fair, you can’t steal from us!” Jungkook scolded him as you watched the mania in front of you, Seokjin and his girlfriend Sa-Ha vs. Jungkook and his date Mira. It was becoming devastatingly hilarious, both teams only having 1 minute left until their cookies had to be plated in tip-top shape, all scrambling to create the best-looking ones. 
“I can and I will, you stole from us first!” Seokjin rebutted him, Jimin raising his voice to signal how much left time was. 
“30 seconds you guys, make it count!” And it was another catastrophic seconds until the timer went off, both teams exhausted and complaining all the same about their hard time fueled by Jin and Jungkook’s endless bickering. 
It was laughs for the few of you looking on, waiting your turns until Jimin’s date Song-i chose from the hat of pairings, your eyes going wide once she called out your name with Taehyung’s against Hoseok and his date. 
“Oh my God, Tae, that’s us!” You grabbed his arm alarmed, seeming nervous and it caused him to look at you. 
“Why are you so nervous? We’ll do great.” 
You scoffed at him in protest. “Taehyung, you did horrible in home ec, we’re gonna lose!” 
“Hey, I’ll make you jump for the ingredients, have some faith, will you?” Taehyung retorted, grabbing you by your hand and dragging you over to one of the two counters Jimin’s grand condo had to offer. 
“We’re taking you guys down on decorations, I’m a genius.” Hoseok gloated from his counter, tying his apron as he eyed you. 
“I have a curator on my team, Hobi, we’re beating you.” You scrutinized him with an angry pout as he stuck his tongue out, you whirling back around to adjust your apron. 
“Okay everyone, aprons on?” Jimin inquired, you having put on yours though watching Taehyung struggle with figuring out the apparently rocket-science contraption. 
You sighed with a laugh until you grabbed it from his hands, helping him out. “It’s like this, Tae.” You got on your tippy-toes to situate the apron around his neck as he bent down for you, the contrast of your heights always having made Taehyung a little weak. 
He was only left to watch you as you fixed the apron onto him, finding himself not even watching anymore, but straight up gazing, admiring. 
Admiring the way your eyes were always in a state of perpetual sparkle, your small lips he never forgot the amount of times he contemplated kissing, your dress revealing your collarbones and chest that beckoned for him to just tear it off, all weakening him even more so.
What made him even weaker, however, was noting the way you’ve matured into a woman after 6 years. 
A very beautiful, attractive woman. 
Your body had always been art to him, but now you were polished into a masterpiece he desired to adore, run his hands all over. Your face structure was more evened out, hair set to fall elegantly upon your shoulders and neck so utterly inviting it all added a sense of sexy maturity to you. 
It was distracting, Taehyung venturing off on the thought you were a woman now, not the innocent, sweet nerd he once knew, and it constantly began to rack his brain when he felt something course through his veins about it. 
Because you used to be so painfully innocent, so naturally a girl next door he couldn’t help but want to taint sometimes, to ruin and unravel for his own. He could even feel it with every time your smaller hands touched his body as you worked the apron guilelessly, wanting to snatch up your wrists instead and do unspeakable things, especially with that fucking dress on his mind. 
What made it all worse is that Taehyung could tell you only acted guileless, and never actually were. You also made your own suggestive comments, always caught his drift and he could tell you weren’t the innocent little thing you appeared to be. 
 Taehyung was so completely lost he heard you suddenly calling his name. 
“Taehyung, are you listening?” 
He blinked. “Huh?” 
“You have to listen to what I say, okay? Just follow my instructions and we’ll win against them.” You made little fists in the air to encourage him, Taehyung mimicking the action. 
“Y-yeah. I will, let’s do this.” You turned around after smiling sweetly, fixing some of the utensils on the counter and completely unsuspecting of Taehyung’s thoughts. 
That even after 6 years apart, after thinking he’d successfully forgotten about you, there was still something that pulled at his heart every time he saw you smile, every time you were ever near him. 
And he came to the conclusion maybe his feelings really haven’t changed from 6 years ago. 
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“Taehyung, can you pass me the butter, please?” You asked urgently, whisking away at your bowl of almost-there cookie dough with Taehyung hovering around you as he watched. 
“Got it.” He returned with some of the butter, you struggling to scoop some of it until Taehyung reached out for the block. “Here, let me do it and you whisk.” 
“No, you’ll end up putting in too much. Let me do it.” You nudged him with your elbow, picking at the butter. 
“But you’re already whisking, just let me take it out.” Taehyung protested as he reached, though you blocked him right away.  
“No, Tae, remember we decided I’m on baking and you’re on decorating?” 
“Your job is way harder than mine and I’m useless right now, let me at least whisk.” Taehyung grabbed for the bowl until you snatched it away from him, already done with scooping the butter when the action caused some of the flour to fly up on your dress, gasping scandalously. 
“Taehyung!” You whined, Taehyung scrambling for a quick apology. 
“Oh fuck, Y/N, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-” Taehyung almost completed until a splash of flour went hurtling onto his shirt, causing him to look down with his mouth agape. “You did not just throw flour on my black turtleneck.” 
“You got flour on my black dress first, you tree.” Your eyebrows were set hard as you scolded him, still loosely whisking away at the cookie dough. 
“It was by accident, you half-pint.” Taehyung rebutted, trying to bat the flour off himself.
“Then mine was an accident too.” You mocked him, unsuspectingly whisking again when flour suddenly hit your chest, offended to find Taehyung snickering with it all over his hand. 
“That was an accident, too.” 
“You’re so...” You huffed out as you placed the bowl down and grabbed your own handful of flour, just about to throw it on Taehyung when is large palms came up to snatch your wrists, forcing your arms back as he snickered. 
“Taehyung, this is unfair!” You complained, struggling against his hold. 
“It’s an accident.” Taehyung mimicked with a genuine laugh watching you scramble in his hold, until the smile wiped off his face shortly after when you simply released the flour from your palm and it spilled all over his turtleneck. 
Your cheeks puffed up trying to contain your laughter, Jimin’s own giggling fit sounding and you remembered he was monitoring the competition. “Taehyung, you dumbass, you had that shit coming.” He held his stomach, entire body laughing at his best friend. 
You were giggling along with Jimin until Taehyung had had enough, licking his lips with mischief. 
“That’s it, come here.” He then spun you around and engulfed you with his arms from behind, holding you snug to his chest as you tried to escape him alarmingly, knowing what Taehyung was going to do next. 
“Taehyung please, wait, I beg of you, don’t!” And it was already too late when you felt his long fingers begin to tickle at your sides, your incessant protests melding with giggles along with his beautiful laughter filling the kitchen. 
You continued to fight against his hold, the constant feather-like touches making you reel and breath leave your lungs. “Taehyung, stop! Oh my God,” you struggled through a laugh while he nuzzled his face into your hair. “I’ll die, Taehyung, please!” 
“Nope, this is what you get.” Taehyung continued his onslaught as he held you tighter, you beginning to acquiesce in order to reason with him.  
“Okay, okay, look. We’re running out of time!” You tried controlling your laughter, tears pricking at your eyes as you tried to calm down. “We have to beat Hobi and Ah-yeong or else we’ll lose!” 
His amused voice sounded near your ear, still reprimanding you. “I’ll only stop if you say sorry.” 
“Alright, I’m sorry!” You were grabbing at his wrists for release. “I didn’t mean it, just stop tickling me!” You protested with a giggle until you felt his fingers rest, rather exchanging it for simply encasing you. 
“Good girl, you’re getting on Santa’s nice list.” Taehyung joked. 
You could only sigh as you resupplied oxygen to your lungs, moving towards the bowl. “Okay, let’s get back to work before we lose.” You puffed out air, breaths levelling as you returned to the counter and grabbed the whisk and bowl, only to find Taehyung hadn’t retracted his arms yet. 
He instead remained behind you, reaching for the utensils in your hands, his large ones grasping them along with you and the contrast of his broad body enclosing your smaller one made you feel something in your core.
Your eyes widened in surprised when his head unexpectedly found your shoulder, resting his chin there as he peered down at the bowl before you, you sputtering. “Taehyung, w-what are you doing?”
“Helping you, is there a problem?” The deep cadence of his voice was just by your ear, dangerous for your health. 
“N-no. But it’s okay, I’m fine on my own-” 
“Nope, this is the least I can do for you..” Taehyung’s tone seemed to trail off suddenly, having calmed down from his laughter and you found him speaking in earnest. “You’re my Christmas present I dragged all the way here with me, remember?” 
You could only smile sympathetically as you looked to your side, eyes welcomed by his gorgeous side profile on full display just centimeters from you. It made you realize just how close he was, his warmth engulfing you and it caused little sparks to fly inside your chest.  
“It’s not so bad, Taehyung. You’re just a good boy who needed his little Christmas present.” You teased light-heartedly, proud of your remark until Taehyung suddenly turned towards your ear, ghosting the shell of it with an unexpectedly darker tone, low and down right gruff.
“I’m not always a good boy.” He stated it simply, though the hot baritone in his words oddly left your spine cold, freezing over even more when Taehyung then wrapped his arms entirely around your torso, pulling your back to his chest. He did it so tightly you could suddenly feel your ass pressed to his covered length, oddly contradicting how couple-like you two probably appeared and it was goddamn intoxicating. 
You panicked at first but eventually basked in his hold, mustering the courage to speak with a suggestive tone. “I’m not always a good girl, either.” 
You threw it out there, cheeks slightly heating adding your own double entendre, though the way Taehyung suddenly tensed for a second had you feeling more confident, the puff of air he sucked in apparent. 
The conversation only ended with a satisfied hum from Taehyung as he watched you bake, a nice rumble that reverberated from his chest and into your back, feeling an odd arousal spike all the way down to your toes. 
It was already lethal with his pretty hands holding around your waist, the closeness an added thrill. It made your chest fill with something riveting, almost anticipatory of what all of this meant between you two, excited for wherever this night would truly go. 
It wasn’t long before it came time for Taehyung to plate and decorate the cookies, carefully placing his little embellishments he swore were the cream of the crop as you bickered with him, your incessant teasing resulting in you hugging him from behind while he worked. 
And Taehyung knew he was doomed the second he felt your very obvious chest press into his back, his nerves pumping carnally as he then felt a side of him he’s always hid from you escape its reigns. 
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It was damn transparent Seokjin and his girlfriend would win, their exquisite baking and cooking skills having created masterpieces everyone dug into happily. It’d won them the choice of what movie everyone would watch tonight along with a dinner that the losers, surprisingly not you and Taehyung, but Namjoon and his date would have to pay for. 
Everyone was now seeking comfortable positions for the movie around the TV while you were last minute cleaning with Jimin in the kitchen, offering your help after the mess you and Taehyung made with your little flour mishap. 
Taehyung had properly gotten rid of the flour on his sweater, now lounging on an armchair in the living room with his phone in hand. You felt yourself glancing towards him more than you should’ve, reprimanding yourself each time though found yourself doing it nonetheless. 
It was just hard to keep your eyes off him when Taehyung was the epitome of a Greek God, questioning how such a being is allowed to walk among us commoners. His chiseled jawline was far too handsome for his own good, his neck sculpted so perfectly it left you you wondering what it would feel like to mark him up all over, and the way his long legs were manspreading before him was so inviting the sight alone made you figuratively drool. 
And fall even harder. 
You didn’t realize you were ogling until Jimin’s hushed voice pulled you out of your reverie. “You’re staring.” 
You blinked. “What?” 
Jimin chuckled as he continued to wipe the counter one last time. “It’s been 6 years, why don’t you just say something?” 
“There’s nothing to say, Jimin.” You tried brushing him off, though Jimin didn’t buy it. 
“My ass, Y/N. You really think after what happened in the kitchen there’s nothing between you two?” 
“I don’t know, it’s just how Taehyung is.” You concocted an excuse, deflating as you did so.  
Jimin shook his head in disapproval. “It’s been like this since high school, Y/N, why didn’t you just tell Taehyung how you felt?” 
You looked at him in earnestly before softening into a sigh, knowing Jimin was really the only person you ever spilled your feelings for his best friend to. 
“Because I was scared, Jimin. You know how hard it was for me to even admit it to you.” You answered with a quiet voice, scrapping the flour you threw at Taehyung into the garbage. 
“But Y/N, you two... the way you are. What were you so afraid of?” Jimin’s sweet, pacifying voice asked, clearly having been rooting for you both ever since you fessed up. 
“Rejection, Mimi. Even if we’re like that...” You trailed, thinking over your relationship with Taehyung. “What if it’s all only a joke on his end? Taehyung has always been naturally flirty.. and we’re friends. I don’t think I’m any different than a conquest.” 
Jimin understood your point, though made it his own to advise you otherwise, washing out the cloth in the sink. “Y/N, that’s only what you believe.” His eyes told you of genuine support, offering like the comfort fairy he’s always been. “Just because you believe something, doesn’t make it true.” 
And that damn well hit home for you, realizing that maybe you’ve really been in your head too much about this, overthinking by creating doubts and excuses in your head to subdue your fear of confessing to Taehyung, to avoid the hurt of rejection but possibly missing an entire opportunity. 
“You should tell him, Y/N. It’s been long enough, you’ll never know how he feels if you don’t try.” 
You became apprehensive. “But how do you know if he’ll feel the same way?” Jimin could only chuckle to himself, his smile radiant as he found you the most innocent, yet funnily oblivious thing on Earth. 
“Look at the way he acts around you, Y/N.” Jimin advised. “He’s my best friend, and I’ve never seen him like that with anyone except you. Conquests are conquests, but you’re you, and that’s different to him.” 
Your mind instantly went into a frenzy, thinking well fuck, Jimin is Taehyung’s best friend, and he’s telling you that all this time Taehyung has never really enacted the same behaviour and energy with anyone expect you? This whole time? What does he mean you’re different? You’re.. different to him? Aren’t you just his female friend he’s known since ninth grade, and so surely there’s nothing but the added value of history there, right? 
Right?
You were only left to digest Jimin’s words as you placed the dustpan back to its original spot, Jimin finishing up with the sink. The conversation ended there, Jimin guiding you back to the living room and nestling himself next to his date. You were distracted with Jimin’s suggestions until you walked into the space and realized there was nowhere for you to sit, the couples perfectly paired up and occupying all the available space. 
Your entrance is what made Taehyung snap his vision to you from his phone, watching your confused face contemplating where to sit until he whispered to you, motioning towards himself on the armchair furthest from the screen and tucked behind the other couches. “Y/N, come here.” 
You studied his placement, on a singular armchair with his lap very much open. You shivered at the sight, though protested in a hushed tone realizing the chair could really only fit him. “There’s nowhere for me to sit.” 
Taehyung then spread his legs a little further apart and tapped his thigh, revealing some space for you to sit.. on him. “You can sit here.” 
You were glad the lights were turned off, just so Taehyung didn’t have to see the blush that rose to your cheeks when you answered. “Um, o-okay.” 
You then ambled over to him in front of the rather comfy looking armchair, thanking God everyone was too distracted bickering over Seokjin’s movie choice to pay attention to you both. 
“Are you.. sure about this?” You managed to get out, mind going feral over the fact that one of your previous thoughts was actually manifesting itself, nearly chickening out. 
“Mhm, just sit on me.” Taehyung offered casually, his expression unreadable and ultimately making you doubt Jimin’s advice from before, realizing that Taehyung has always been a hard person to read, which is why you could never tell how he felt about you, shutting your trap about damn love confessions. 
You didn’t respond and rather tentatively made it to the take your seat, the seat that was Taehyung’s fucking lap. You placed your ass on his thigh with your legs thrown over him, angling yourself so that the temple of your head rested against his shoulder. 
Though it proved to be lethal in seconds, his cologne now completely flooding your nostrils and the thin skirt of your dress leaving much of your clothed core feeling the muscle of his thigh. 
You felt Taehyung tense underneath for a second as you adjusted the skirt of your dress over your own thighs, smoothing it over properly as your hands then clasped in your own lap. 
Taehyung was glad you didn’t have the ability to read his mind, because the second he realized everyone was naturally pairing up to cuddle with their dates, it would only mean you two would have to do the same. So when you paddled over, standing before him in that cute dress he’s been wanting to tear off you this entire party, he was more than thrilled to offer his lap as your seat. 
But when you actually sat on him, your ass and hints of your core against his thigh with your tempting legs draped over him, he was continuously beginning to think dangerously, salaciously. 
He tried to keep his breathing leveled, though the second he felt you adjust against him and your covered center press onto him, he knew he would never survive whatever fucking movie everyone eventually settled on. 
When it finally began to play, Taehyung snaked his arms around your waist and held you to him, feeling your breath hitch for the tiniest second before you relaxed. 
And it damn well thrilled him. 
The movie was beginning to progress now, Taehyung and yourself in the same comfortable position until you yawned and snuggled more into him, a hand coming up to drape across his chest and head finding shelter closer into his neck. 
Taehyung tensed again, feeling every breath you took with the weight of your smaller body on top of him, mind racing with thoughts he couldn’t keep quiet anymore. 
And especially when you shifted your ass a little against his leg, he twitched with something so much more carnal, blood pumping somewhere it shouldn’t and this time, Taehyung didn’t really feel like holding back anymore. 
His hands suddenly faltered, his palms coming to singularly rest against one of your thighs, clasping it slightly. He knew there was nothing but your leg with only pantyhose as a barrier for your skin, sending currents through his veins thinking you could definitely feel his every touch. 
You nearly jolted when Taehyung’s hands met the meat of your thigh, the placement shooting more arousal through you than it should’ve. 
You were calm until Taehyung suddenly inched his hand towards the inner part of your thigh, making your core clench and hand clutch his sweater to contain the electricity it sent. 
You’ve always had such dirty thoughts about what Taehyung’s hands could do, the slenderness and length of his fingers always revving your imagination. So to have his fingers just on the inside of your thigh, sitting in his lap as he seemed to be teasing, was enough to send your brain spiraling. 
Your scandalous thoughts made you shift against him to experimentally feel the friction, your core grinding against his thigh for a moment and Taehyung’s breath immediately hitched. His grip on you tightened and his hold tensed, had you suppressing the feeling of making a sound. 
He slid more inward, closer to the prize he was seeking and you could only hide your face into the junction of his neck at the way your pussy felt butterflies. It made you squish your thighs together to feel something, and God fuck, was the tension between you two so searing you could feel it radiating off Taehyung’s body. 
It’s what made whispering slowly against him flow easily, quiet so as not to alarm anyone in the living room. 
“I thought you were a good boy, Tae. What are you doing?” Your voice was sultrier than you planned, and it wasn’t chastising him at all, rather teasing for something more. 
You could only feel the rise and fall of Taehyung’s chest underneath you as he contained himself, the cuddling leaving you to feel his every micro-movement when he responded. 
“I thought you were a good girl, what are you doing?” Taehyung’s voice was low and deep, the vibration coursing through your body and it only invited you to become hornier. 
“Guess I’m not a good girl after all.” 
Taehyung made a sound as though scoffing, dangerous in its tone. 
“Guess I’m not a good boy, either.” And just after, Taehyung inched his fingers even closer to your clothed core, making the slightest of contact on your slit through the material of your dress and you practically twitched in his hold, sucking in a breath as you clasped onto the fabric of his shirt. 
“You have no idea..” Taehyung suddenly spoke up, voice laden with something hungry, hot. “what I’ve always thought about doing to you.” 
You could only jolt in his lap, more of his cologne meeting your nose and it caused you to suppress a sound by stuffing your face into his neck. “What.. have you thought about?” 
Taehyung then suddenly cupped your sex over your clothes, making you grapple onto his neck and bite back a moan so hard you had to breathe through your nose. 
“How I want to ruin you.” Taehyung’s low baritone and rough palm rubbing teasingly against your now aching pussy left you gushing, arousal racking the bottom of your stomach you were almost afraid of how easy it was for him. 
Your breath was shallower now, trying to compose yourself by egging him on. “You’d want to ruin an innocent girl like me?”
“I know you’re not innocent, princess.” Taehyung asserted with the slightest growl to his tone, thankful your seat was positioned behind the rest of the others so nobody could see what was going on. 
“Only when it comes to you.” Your seductive voice beckoned lust to course through Taehyung, breathing out hot air. “What else?” You suddenly croaked out. 
Taehyung hummed lowly into your ear, his palm smoothing over your cunt in ways that had you screwing your eyes shut. “How I want to make you beg.” He purposefully pressed harder against your clit, had you scratching into the column of his throat. “Make you scream my name.”   
You gushed your arousal even more, breathless with your words. “I bet you say that to everyone.”
Taehyung chuckled dismissively, dipping his head lower to whisper darkly into your ear. 
“I only say that to pretty little things I want to ruin, and you’re the prettiest little thing I know.” 
Your breath came out in a weighty puff, sighing satisfyingly against him as you snaked your hand from his neck down to the hardening length in his pants. You grazed your palm over his clothes and he twitched almost violently, biting back his hiss with a strong grip against your thigh with his free hand. You grew proud, speaking up when it boosted your ego. 
“I’d love to see you try.” 
And that was when the pads of Taehyung’s fingers pressed into your clothed cunt so euphorically you were seconds from letting out a moan, Taehyung cupping his palm over your mouth to silence you. 
“Shh.” Taehyung sounded by your ear. “Can’t let everyone hear my girl, now can I?” He hushed you huskily, leaving you to sigh your arousal into his large palm and eternally grateful the movie’s volume was loud enough to mask your talking.
Taehyung then began the slowest circular ministrations on your clit, shooting continuous pleasure through your body as you clutched your hand onto his wrist holding your mouth, urgently trying to suppress moans he was easily milking out of you. 
It felt like sparks, continuous sparks in your covered pussy as Taehyung rubbed against your folds, gliding down to your slit and teasing your throbbing hole. 
The mere prospect of his fingers shoving inside you made you wet beyond comprehension, only digging little crescents into his forearm with muted moans. It was sickening how easily he had you turned on, how easily you were getting riled up by just his fingers, and so you mustered the strength to lightly stroke his cock over his pants as revenge.
Taehyung then put pressure against your clenching hole as punishment, shoving your face into his neck when he teased your entrance and squishing his hand between your thighs with his other urging them open. 
“Look at you,” Taehyung growled. “all fucked out just by my fingers.” He whispered darkly into your ear, the vibration of his baritone voice once again sending you into overdrive. “They’re not even inside you yet.” 
The ‘yet’ had you restless, body grinding against him and this time it was Taehyung trying suppress a satisfied groan. 
“If my fingers have you like this, imagine my-” 
“Oh c’mon! That’s not even realistic!” Seokjin suddenly shouted at the screen, startling you and Taehyung. 
“Jin, calm down. It’s just a feel-good Christmas movie.” Yoongi cautioned him. 
“How the fuck does the kid just free the burglar from the cop car? It’s damn common sense.” Seokjin complained about the scene from Christmas with the Kranks, having been unsatisfied with the movie since the beginning. 
“Baby, why’d you choose this movie?” He whined to his girlfriend Sa-Ha, her feigning innocence as she defended herself. 
“It’s almost over, Jinnie. Just sitand watch.” 
And that’s when Taehyung ripped his hands off you, leaving you to breathe out ruggedly for a few seconds before your vision looked up at Taehyung’s, mutually shocked at what the fuck just happened.
You’ve never done something like that before, and as your scared sights looked back at each other, you could only think you were both under some sort of horney trance that swept you two into uncharted waters. 
It made you divert your eyes from Taehyung immediately, your mind going blank. 
Taehyung was left hard and extremely turned on, though began dissipating once he couldn’t fathom he went that far with you so quickly, his brain having been clouded by lust he should’ve kept in check.
And with the way you looked at him, panicked and snapping your vision away in an instant, he doesn’t know if he just made a grave mistake. 
You both became shameful, swallowing dryly as your attentions fixated back onto the screen, thinking about what just transpired. 
There was this incessant feeling in both your chests contemplating there was something more, clearly more between you two. 
And it was downright fearful. 
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“Yah, why are you guys leaving so early? C’mon! There’s still half the eggnog left.” Seokjin pouted from across the room, sadly chugging his drink as the others hummed in agreeance. 
“Yeah, c’mon guys. It’s the holidays, let’s all spend it together, sleep over for the fuck of it!” Hoseok chimed in what you could tell was an inebriated state, practically swaying as he talked and the lilt in his tone ever-so cheery. 
“Um, excuse me? Sleep over? Nobody’s doing that.” Jimin shoot him down from where he stood near you and Taehyung, scolding his friends with crossed arms. “If they want to leave they’re allowed, we already made Y/N abandon her Christmas for us.” 
“It’s alright, Jimin. I missed you guys too, I wanted to come.” You offered sentimentally, hand touching his elbow to let him up and he eased. 
“Since you’re officially back in town, we’re never leaving you alone again, Y/N!” Namjoon called out from the living room, engrossed in whatever was playing on the TV. 
“Yup, seriously not going to leave you alone.” Yoongi hummed with half-lidded eyes, near falling asleep on the couch. 
“I still owe you for those math notes, expect me becoming your Genie for a day!” Jungkook called out from the kitchen, most likely munching on the treats everyone crafted during the competition earlier. 
“Of course, I’ll see you guys! Merry Christmas!” 
“Merry Christmas!” Everyone cheered, their dates similarly adding on. 
You then brought your attention back to Jimin, seeing you and Taehyung out as the wonderful host of today’s party. “Thank you for the party, Jimin, it was amazing.” 
“Yeah.” Taehyung perked up next to you, apologetic he was so negligent of the party in the first place. “It was seriously fun, Jimin, I’m sorry I acted like it wasn’t a big deal before.” 
“Nah, don’t sweat it.” Jimin casually waved him off. “Dude, you could text me a Merry Christmas and I’d be alright, you know us.” Jimin smiled reassuringly, right on your toes when Taehyung and yourself stepped into his front foyer.  
You were both fixing on your shoes just before Jimin’s door when he spoke up again. “It was great having you guys, and even better having you, Y/N, come here.” Jimin held out his arms for a warm hug, you returning it merrily. “You’re always welcomed here with us, visit anytime you want.”
“Thanks, Jimin, it really means a lot.” Your grateful eyes found his once you disconnected. 
“We’ll get going now, thank you again, Jimin.” Taehyung for some odd reason placed an arm around your shoulder, pulling you two a little closer and you simply accepted the action, trying not to read into it. 
“Of course.” Jimin replied. “Though one last thing, you remember the theme of this party, right?” Jimin asked you both, you and Taehyung similarly responded with knitted eyebrows. 
“Yeah?” 
“Well look up, lovebirds.” Jimin cocked his head upwards towards the ceiling, casually leaning against the corridor of his entrance when you and Taehyung glanced up, innocently viewing the little mistletoe dangling above your heads, eyes reflecting the realization of what Jimin was conveying. 
“I’ll leave you two alone.” Jimin added with a purposefully hushed, knowing tone. He was just about turning away until he called out in caution. “Oh, careful driving, by the way. I just heard the snow got bad.” And with that, Jimin left nothing but his sweet cologne in the air when he disappeared.
You and Taehyung shuffled about a little, not exactly daring to exchange gazes when the air became all stuffy. 
You were both mutually pondering what the absolute hell to do in this moment. Do you kiss? Do you not kiss? Do you awkwardly try to address what happened earlier after silently agreeing with your dicey body language to never speak of it again? Or hell, do you damn well take Jimin’s advice and just flat out tell him you’ve always had feelings for him? 
Wait. 
Jimin’s advice. 
It came back to you, thinking Jimin was actually extremely wise in what he said. You took to his words into consideration, studying some of the little things Taehyung did around you, from the things he uttered all the way down to the simple way he even looked at you, contemplating something, just something had to be there.
But then maybe, just maybe you could also chalk it up to his naturally flirtatious behaviour you’ve always observed, always habitually affectionate with people and that’s what’s always made him so easily lovable in the first place, what made Taehyung a boy who was born to be loved. 
And he was tricky, his expressions and feelings always indistinguishable with the composed, nuanced way he carried himself especially now, convincing you reading him was a lost cause. 
Though as you glanced at Taehyung right now, visibly nervous, his usually schooled face and unreadable expression now indicating nerves, awkwardness you two have never really experienced between each other before, you decided maybe you should stop making excuses. 
Stop avoiding signs and doubting his every move and burying your feelings so deep underground, that maybe you should just fucking take your leap of faith already. 
So you stepped closer to him, your figure almost laughably smaller compared to him, and watched as his pretty eyes brightened in surprise at you. 
It only took a few seconds, for your lips to curve reassuringly, for your soft hands to cup his face delicately against the edge of his sharp jaw. To get on the tip of your toes and bring your lips to Taehyung’s, pressing a heartfelt kiss to mouth. 
A kiss so very soft and tender, it was like teenagers kissing for the very first time, and it made you giggle on the inside, thinking that’s exactly how your entire ordeal has felt like; your two teenage selves trying to navigate whatever feelings lied between you. 
Taehyung was shocked, having been silently berating himself for being too bold too quickly and thinking his abandonment of chivalry in that instance was wrong, the air between you having been tainted with a sense of unspoken, though apparent awkwardness for the rest of the party. 
But now, now you were kissing him, and for the first time, his insides leaping at just the prospect. It felt like a damn dream, though the press of your mouth against his confirmed it was in fact real, that it was gladly his sweet reality. 
That after years of imagining what it would feel like, he’s kissing the girl he’s loved since the second he saw her hair glow in the rays of the sunset, the minute he realized she wasn’t just pretty, but beautiful to him, the hour he’d witness the moonlight kiss her skin when she stayed up with him on sleepless nights, leading all the way up to the year he realized she’d leave him, so soon, so fucking soon it absolutely crushed him. 
And Taehyung wouldn’t admit it you, but your departure left his heart ravaged for quite possibly years, continuously overthinking how different things would’ve been if he just told you. Told you how he felt, told you that behind every innuendo, behind every hug, every tease, every stupid smile he flashed your way, that there was love behind it all. 
Pure, unadulterated love. 
He regretted it for months, for years thinking he’d truly lost the greatest opportunity in his life having let you go without protest, without fighting for you like he should’ve. 
It hurt, it hurt until he’d eventually grown accustomed to the ache in his heart whenever he saw that same plaid pattern on anyone else, reminded of the jacket you wore to school everyday. The way he found himself subconsciously comparing nearly every girl he dated to you, how on rainy days and quiet nights, he sometimes wondered where you were, what you were doing, if you were awake at this time of night like he usually was, remembering the way the moonlight always seemed to love you, just like he loved you. 
And he still did, Taehyung thought. He still loved you, now feeling your lips kiss him, your adorable height making you tippy-toe, the gentle way you held his face comforting. 
Your lips then disconnected, Taehyung seeing your gaze was warm, something so reminiscent of affection, adoration in your eyes, and he thought in that one, singular moment that maybe, just maybe... 
You loved him too. 
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“Fuck, this snow is bad.” Taehyung swore as he gauged any clear path of the road ahead.
“I hate to admit this, but the group was right. It was probably better staying at Jimin’s.” You sighed, worried about the amount of damn white you were seeing blanket the world outside. 
“I thought if we left early we could escape it, but shit, mother nature is always so fickle.” He complained. 
“It’s her charm, unfortunately.” You shrugged, realizing there was truly no way for you to get home now. “It’s early too, the snow ploughs won’t clear the roads just yet.” There was suddenly a concerned lilt to your tone as you peered ahead, gripping Taehyung’s arm and it grabbed his attention. “It’s getting dangerous too, Tae. I don’t want you driving in this.” 
Taehyung was glad he had the gifted ability of hiding his emotions, because right now he would’ve been embarrassingly over the moon. He smiled back to you reassuringly, then contemplated an alternative.
“Would you.. rather come to my place?” Taehyung inquired, biting his lip once he realized he stupidly stuttered. 
You blinked. “What?” 
“Well, my place is much closer, and it’d be less dangerous driving there. You can just stay until they clear the roads.” Taehyung relayed casually, expectant eyes on you as his hands tapped against the steering wheel. 
Your face slowly turned into an appreciative smile, taken aback by his act of kindness, but also felt something exciting tickle the bottom of your stomach. 
“Sure, I’d love that.” 
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Taehyung shut the door of his apartment as you removed your boots, shredding stray snowflakes off his jacket when he spotted similar ones on yours, his hands naturally jutting out to rid the tiny icicles off you. 
You turned around at his touch, thanking him and he smiled a welcome back. He’d taken your jacket just like before and tucked them away into his closet, gesturing towards his living room for you to get comfortable. 
“Make yourself at home, do you want water or anything?” 
“Yeah, actually. Water would be nice.” Taehyung nodded as he made for his kitchen, you tucking the skirt of your dress underneath you as you took your humble seat on his couch. 
His home was so painfully Taehyung, it had you smiling like an idiot he was still the same. The same introspective Taehyung who adored art and photography, the same Taehyung who absolutely hated shoes and you could tell just by the way he abandoned them earlier he still had the same habit. Even to the way his house reflected this artistic, calming, and nuanced feeling he similarly had.
It drew you to admire some of the pieces draping his walls, when Taehyung returned with a glass of water, handing it to you as he plopped down on the couch. “Here.” 
“Thank you.” You took the glass, gulping down some of the liquid for your parched throat. 
“Your apartment is nice.” 
“Thanks.”
You then both sat in silence for a short while, tapping the edge of the glass in your hand as you scanned the rest of his charming home. The silence wasn’t awkward considering the past events of today, just a silence in its definition. 
“I still can’t believe I ran into you at a coffee shop.” Taehyung suddenly remarked, looking off at his table in front with a smile tugging his lips. 
You chuckled. “Why? Too meet-cute for you?” 
“No.” He chuckled too. “It’s just, I really thought it was the end when you left after graduation.” Taehyung paused for a poignant moment, air heavy with something as you watched him muster the courage to say something else. 
“I thought I’d never see you again.” 
He claimed it with such a sense of sadness, sense of longing that reminded you of how upset you also were that day, the rampant emotions that came crashing down realizing you were leaving behind an entire life. 
“Me too.” You added with a similarly downcast tone. “I thought I’d never see you again, either.” 
Taehyung then looked at you, eyes meeting your gaze. “I’m glad that wasn’t true.” Something lingered behind his words, something incredibly thick and telling, though you deflected it with a joke to lighten the air. 
“I’m glad you didn’t delete my PowerPoints, either.” You snickered, hand coming up to cover your mouth, “I used to put a lot of work into them.”
Taehyung scoffed playfully, smiling through a chuckle as he responded. “I didn’t have the heart to. You were so passionate about your hatred for fruit on pizza.” 
“I still am.” You added. “Do you really have them?” 
“Yeah, I do. Let me show you.” Taehyung then pulled out his phone from his pocket, clicking away on the device as he scooted closer to you and leaned in, you similarly doing so and peering at a Google Drive folder of your wonderfully crafted presentations.
“Oh my God, I thought you were joking.” You snorted, snickering at the hilarious folder name; ‘Y/N says Fuck Hawaiian Pizza: the Saga’
“Nope, couldn’t delete them even if I was dared to.” Taehyung laughed with you, both of your eyes naturally falling as he shut off his phone, the conversation shifting. 
“You know, I never actually hated it that much.” You admitted sheepishly. “I just liked annoying you and wasting 5 minutes of your day with every presentation.” 
Taehyung looked scandalized at first, mouth falling agape until he ultimately let it go, admitting something of his own. “You know, I never actually needed your history notes. I just liked being annoying about stealing them so you always had to chase me down.” Taehyung’s smile was suddenly impish, shy as he fixated on fiddling with his slender fingers. 
“After all that running I always did after you too? Jheez, you’re the reason I have strong calves now.” 
“And you’re the reason I’m really good at presentations now.” You both chuckled together, the old days coming back in bouts until your mood changed, remembering Jimin’s advice from earlier. 
As you looked at Taehyung, while he didn’t look at you, you could only help but find every reason in the world to listen to Jimin. Because Taehyung was Taehyung, he was the Taehyung that stole your heart with his boxy grin, the Taehyung who made every other man seem like an unappealing idiot you wanted nothing to do with, the same Taehyung who’s heart was made of love, and you wanted nothing but to return to him the love he gifted the world.
Because you loved Taehyung, no matter how much you’ll try to deny it, you still love him. All his smiles and giggles and soft hair and his sometimes coltish, though endearing ways of being himself. All his hard expressions and intimidating eyes and handsome looks and the way he holds a universe of stars in his old soul.  
So your next words flowed, flowed more fluently than anything ever has in your life. 
“You know,” You paused, eyes faltering to the glass in your hand. “I think, for the majority of high school... I had a crush on you, but I never said anything because I thought you wouldn’t want me.” 
And there came the silence, the piercing, God awful silence you were so afraid of and so sure was spelling your doom. You didn’t dare look up from your glass now, downright terrified he was probably pulling the most confused face ever, and his silence was deafening. It had you contemplating the best way to jump out his window, he was only, what, 14 stories up? A human can survive a fall that high, right? 
“You wanna know something?” Taehyung suddenly broke the silence, his deep, dulcet voice sounding beautifully in his apartment, and your eyes widened the second he opened his mouth next. 
“I think I was in love with you for the majority of high school, but I didn’t say anything because I thought you never felt the same way.” And that’s when everything clicked, when your eyes widened in revelation, when it suddenly felt like the 6 years you spent battling your feelings for him was nothing but a sad joke. 
Because this moment, alone, made you realize you two had the same hearts all along. 
“You wanna know something?” You swallowed hard, eyes still on your glass as it shifted in your hand mindlessly. “I think... I’m still in love with you.” 
You couldn’t see Taehyung, because you didn’t dare look at him at a time like this. You just sat there, breathing as leveled as you could until you felt Taehyung shift on the couch. He’d moved closer, closing the small gap between you both, beckoning you to finally look at him and that’s exactly what you did. 
He spoke low, deep and low and it had your toes curling at just how proximal he was, his beautiful eyes gazing at you like you meant the universe and more to him. 
And little did you know, you really did. 
“I think..” He started, gripping the glass of water from your hands and placing it onto his coffee table. “I’m still in love with you, too.” 
And your heart was set ablaze in a matter of seconds, your tentative eyes finding Taehyung’s as he leaned in, large palms on either side of your body as he inched closer, closer, and closer, until all he could see were your lips, jutting his face forward until his lips just brushed yours. 
You chased his mouth a little, fluttering your eyes shut and Taehyung couldn’t help but smile before finally, finally pressing his lips to yours. 
His mouth kissed you slow at first, slow and steady and it was intoxicating just like this. He constantly chased your lips, mouthing at them sensually and it was driving you insane, just the taste of his lips with a hint of wine on his breath shooting electricity to your core. 
His hands moved to your sides, wrapping around your rib cage as he leaned you back onto the couch and laid on top of you. His body covered you as far as you could see, your dainty hands coming up to find his jawline and pull him against your lips fervently.
He slowly grew more passionate, smoothing over your sides as he mouthed for more of you, swallowing the little moans you made that vibrated through his body and it only revved is engine more. 
Taehyung was taken, completely taken by how much he wanted you that he could only see you, could only think about all the dirty but soft and tender and passionate things he wanted to do to you. 
One of his hands travelled underneath your thigh, pulling your leg up against him as he pressed his hips into your core, his hardening cock prodding you through his clothes once he started a gentle rocking motion. 
Your hands travelled up his beautiful neck and tangled into his hair as you reciprocated. A slight tug left him groaning into your mouth, causing you to buck up into him harshly and it sent Taehyung’s mind into a dangerous place. 
His breathing elevated against you, gripping your ribs so urgently it only made you pull him closer, arch your chest into his just so you could relish in the feeling. Your heart was thrumming in your chest, veins coursing with adrenaline so white hot it wasn’t long before you were moving desperately with Taehyung and it fueled your horny nerves.
Taehyung suddenly disconnected his mouth from you, breathing so shallow his chest was rising and falling fast. He was only centimeters above as he looked down at you, his eyes boring into yours with such a prominent sense of longing, want, pure desire, it took him no time to speak. 
“Do you know how long..” He took a breath. “I’ve wanted to do that?” 
“Do you know how long I’ve wanted you to do that?” You replied, hands now smoothing over his shoulders to feel him, his body raging hot as he laid on top of you, looking at you like you were the only thing he ever wanted. 
“Fuck, we’re so stupid.” Taehyung quickly said before his mouth crashed onto yours. This time there was something carnal in his kiss, something urgent and hot and it only made you pull him closer for more. 
His tongue began to lick over your lips, slithering inside your mouth and the taste of him was euphoric, making you tangle your tongue with his just to taste him over and over again, until it was safe to say your tongues were down each other’s throats. 
He kissed you sloppily, kissed until he was consuming you, his fingers digging into your thigh and side so fervently you knew there’d be marks, and it made your spine shiver, even more so when he spoke again. 
“The minute.. I saw you in that dress..” He breathed out, kissing in between the exhaustion of his lungs. “I wanted to rip it off you.” 
You groaned desperately at his confession, wanting Taehyung in ways that were so utterly carnal, almost feral, your entire being wanting to consume every inch of him, lay a million kisses across his honey-coloured skin and hear his caramel voice whisper into your ear, and so it didn’t take long for you to voice your desire. 
“Taehyung..” You sighed, a satisfied lilt to your tone and it only lit Taehyung on fire. 
“Mm?” He hummed, licking into your mouth on a quest for everything inside, his hips now grinding into your clothed cunt so harshly he was practically dry humping you, and without a second thought you were moving yourself against him too, hands exploring his broad chest. 
“Taehyung..” You were more urgent, and it made Taehyung grunt harshly. “Rip it off me, Tae, unwrap me like you said you would.” You started harshly tugging at his offensive shirt, tracing the column of his throat as you relished in his delicious kisses. 
And it all made Taehyung move so much harder, so much more roughly you were moaning into his mouth at the press of his hard, long cock against your aching core. 
“Ruin me, Taehyung.” You scratched your nails against his neck, swallowing him into your mouth as you talked. “I want you to ruin me.” 
“Fuck,” Taehyung swore, his length beginning to prod you so much more apparently as you bucked your hips up into him, it was sending Taehyung down the proverbial hole. And when you let out another gorgeous moan of his name, he knew he was a goner. 
“Fuck, I can’t do this anymore.” 
Taehyung then harshly grabbed your wrists and forced them against the couch in a single motion, eyes growing dark with heat radiating of his body in waves. He darted to the underside of your jaw and kissed hard, began mouthing at your skin until he travelled to the junction of your neck, sucking over the sensitive skin so rampantly it had you squirming underneath him, desperately trying to feel him against your core. 
His pretty purple marks began blooming onto your neck, evidence of his raw desire for you, the years he spent longing for you. His teeth were nipping your skin, tongue licking over the bites as he pressed your wrists further into the couch the more you resisted. 
You breath hitched when he moved to the slightly exposed valley of your breasts, making your nipples harden at just the prospect of his mouth travelling there. You began fighting his hold, causing you to arch into him as something dawned on you. 
“Taehyung.. your shirt.” You whined, trying to manage the pleasure of his mouth canvasing your skin. 
Taehyung left you for a mere second to shred off the annoying piece of clothing, tossing it aside as he returned to you urgently, your legs hooking around his torso as he came back to you. 
His mouth was sucking hickeys onto your chest again when his hands began to smooth down your sides, so sensually purposeful until he reached underneath the hem of your dress, hooking onto the waistline of your pantyhose and panties, tugging teasingly. 
Your core ignited at just his touch against bare skin, gushing as your hips harshly grinded against his body and your hands smoothed over the lean muscle of his body. 
He yanked the pieces of clothing down the curve of your ass, proceeding to pull them past your thighs as you unhooked your legs to help take them off you. 
The rush of the cold against your wet pussy lips made your breath hitch beautifully, one of Taehyung’s hands moving your skirt to let his large, warm palm cup your sex so pleasurably the contrast of the size of his hand and your little cunt sent you both ablaze. 
“You’re so small, think you can take me, good girl?” Taehyung breathed against your chest. “I’ll fuck up your insides.” His baritone voice was dark and low as he warned you, sent arousal spiking through your nerves as you groaned. 
“Fuck up my insides, Tae.” You desperately moaned out, hands finding Taehyung’s hair as he continued to lay searing kisses to your hot skin, his fingers rubbing your dripping folds harshly. “I just.. I need you, Taehyung, so fucking badly.” 
“Say it again.” Taehyung hissed, exposing one of your bare breasts from your dress and pressing his tongue against a perched nipple, the wet sensation so satisfying you were scratching his shoulder blades. 
“I-I need you, Taehyung.” 
“Need me where?” He growled as he pressed against your clit and circled it, collecting your slick and spreading it all over yourself. 
And it was hard, so fucking hard to think straight with your bare, soaking wet pussy was rubbing against Taehyung’s rough fingers and his lips sucking your exposed nipple for dear life, the pleasure burning inside you so hot your voice was coming out in choked moans. 
“Need you inside, Taehyung.” You gasped out. “So empty without you, so fucking empty, for so long.” 
“God, fuck.” Taehyung groaned proudly, popping off your breast to look at your half-lidded eyes, his own blown out with his hair mussed and lips swollen pink. He returned to your lips again as his hands simultaneously hooked underneath your thighs and suddenly lifted you off the couch, your legs secured around his torso as he walked you into what you assumed was his bedroom. 
Your core rubbed against the buckle of Taehyung’s belt as he walked and you gushed oceans, the cool metal providing such delicious friction you were moaning satisfyingly into Taehyung’s mouth, grinding against him for more. 
His kiss was fervent even when he splayed you onto his covers, back hitting the bed as you stroked your hands over his beautiful bare chest. 
Taehyung suddenly came off you, eyes going wild as he looked down at your panting figure underneath him, then your offensive dress. 
“Fuck this thing.” Taehyung nearly ripped it from your body, shredding the pretty fabric off and simply basked in the glory of seeing your naked body for the very first time. 
Taehyung’s eyes filled with pure wonder, the moonlight and reflection of white snow falling outside adding a glow to your skin he couldn’t help but marvel at, your curves so beautiful he wanted to run his hands all over, the purple of his marks left on you only making him blossom with more arousal, more passion. 
“Holy shit, you’re the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen.” Taehyung’s face was so blown away, you couldn’t help but grow a little shy, bringing him close to you by his neck so you could breathe into his ear. 
“Good, I hear you ruin them.” 
Taehyung could only smirk, rolling his tongue on the inside of his cheek, cock twitching at just your words. “You’re gonna be the death of me.” 
Taehyung trailed one hand down your body, momentarily wrapping it around your throat until it was gliding over your nipple and down to your core, lining the lips of your pussy so teasingly you were reeling. 
The pads of his fingers smoothed over your pussy lips again, applying pressure to your clit that had you lurching, until he used the opportunity to slide two fingers into your aching hole with ease. 
“You’re so fucking wet, dripping all over my fingers.” He growled into your ear as he laid himself on top of you, his free hand holding your face while the other worked your core. 
The sharpness of his long, slender fingers were euphoric, causing you to moan loudly. You could see his hard dick pressing against the fabric of his slacks almost painfully, and you jutted your hand out to begin palming him generously. 
Taehyung could finally hiss as loud as he wanted, screwing his eyes shut in sheer pleasure. 
He began pumping you faster in response, sliding in and out so deliciously you were moaning incessantly against his mouth as he began kissing you again. Your breasts were pressing into Taehyung’s bare chest the more you arched yourself, closing the offensive gap between you both and the skin to skin contact sending you both to cloud nine. 
“Taehyung..” You moaned in between kisses, so shameless about your desire for him you only wanted to know his name. 
“Taehyung.” 
“Fucking hell, that does shit to me.” Taehyung began thrusting harshly into your hole now as punishment, practically finger-fucking you against his bed till it made your walls clamp down on him, trap his slender fingers inside so you could feel every heavenly inch of them.
You became hungry for more, your hand grabbing at Taehyung’s straining cock harder and the strangled groan that left his lips was so fucking beautiful, your insides were screaming. 
“Shit, Taehyung,” You moaned out breathlessly. “You’re so hot like this, so fucking hot. Fuck me, fuck me like you said you would. ” 
Taehyung’s breaths turned heavy and hungry, his cock aching to be inside you so painfully he was going insane at your every word. 
“Fuck. I’m fucking you into next week. I’m fucking you until you only know my name. Fucking you until you know how badly I’ve wanted you, until your legs are shaking and you feel me in your throat.” 
“Then do it.” You nearly cried out, hands fumbling with the waistband of Taehyung’s pants. Your pussy was aching so excruciatingly around Taehyung’s fingers your slick was gushing from you, all over him and it only made Taehyung feral thinking about what would happen if it were his dick instead. 
“Fucking do it, Taehyung, fuck me until I’m shaking.” 
Taehyung flipped his switch and suddenly shoved his fingers so deep inside you, scissoring you completely open it made you lurch up in searing pleasure. His large palm grabbed underneath your head and positioned you upwards, able to angle his fingers so he could smash them inside you so harshly it was pathetic it wasn’t even his dick that had you high, but just his fingers. 
“Holy fuck, Taehyung!” 
“Cum all over my fingers, pretty. I wanna hear you.” Taehyung growled into your ear, couldn’t help but think about your walls convulsing around his dick and it was euphoric hearing you moan, all fucked out underneath him. 
He couldn’t stop finger-fucking you like his life depended on it, wanted to fill you up in so many ways you’d remember him for weeks. 
You were almost there, the edge so close. It was racking the bottom of your stomach, had your toes curling and walls pounding so snug around Taehyung’s fingers you could only latch onto the nape of his neck for dear life. 
You felt it, felt it so near and had his name leaving your mouth in such an intoxicating mantra you were seconds from letting go. Seconds, milliseconds, just about to release your impending orgasm until Taehyung ripped his fingers out of you. 
You gasped scandalously at the loss, body buzzing with your unachieved high it made your exclaim come out in a garbled protest.  “Taehyung, what the fuck?!” 
You tried getting an answer, but Taehyung’s hungry, half-lidded eyes shut you up immediately, watching him lick his fingers like he was starved, like this was the sweetest honey he’s ever tasted. 
“Fuck, you taste as sweet as you look.” Taehyung’s grin was evil, and it made you turned on but pissed he denied your orgasms. 
“You’re so-” You attempted to get out, but Taehyung suddenly flipped you onto all fours in a second, your hands and knees anchored onto the bed with only your shocked figure confused. 
“T-Taehyung, what are you-” You then sighed at the sudden touch of his tongue meeting your weeping hole in a devilish swipe. It was intoxicating, feeling his wet muscle begin licking into your core and tasting your soaked folds from behind. 
“I’m doing what you asked..” His voice was dark and weighty, and that’s when you suddenly felt another sensation of his two fingers returning to your throbbing entrance. Your insides buzzed when he spoke against your core, grittier than he ever has all night. “I’m going to fucking ruin you.” 
And his tongue suddenly slithered into your hole when he removed his fingers, licking into your entrance in a harsh rhythm as his palms began grabbing at your ass, kneading the meaty flesh as he straight up devoured your pussy like it was the only thing he’s wanted his entire life. 
His tongue was lapping you fervently, so starved your dissipated orgasm was coming back again. You were winded, having never been eaten out like this and you were moaning his name loud enough to get noise complaints filed to the police. 
“Taehyung!” You cried out, though he didn’t let up. Instead he brought one of his hands to your pulsing clit, circling and applying so much necessary pressure you were losing your mind, insane off the fact he hadn’t even filled you up with his cock yet and you were pathetic underneath him. 
“Fucking God, Taehyung, Tae!” And when he groaned so audibly into your pussy, rutting himself against the bed for friction it sent you flying, soaring into the sky and losing all coherent thought as your orgasm bubbled in your stomach, his husky voice grounding you to Earth. 
“Cum for me, baby, now.” And that was all it took to have you lurching over the edge, releasing your pent up orgasm so violently you were nearly screaming, Taehyung’s name the only distinguishable thing rolling off your tongue. 
He licked up your juices like they were fresh water, helping you ride out your euphoric orgasm and allowing yourself a moment to rest. You breathed, falling onto the bed in exhaustion, trying to quell the blood pumping in your ears when Taehyung suddenly pulled you back onto your hands and knees, cautioning you darkly when he spoke. 
“You thought we were done?” It was evil, he was evil, the way his voice sounded like the epitome of a smirk as you tried catching your breath. Taehyung’s lips then suddenly ghosted the shell of your ear as he wrapped an arm around your torso, pressing his chest to your back as he spoke. 
“I haven’t even done anything yet.” 
And again, it was the ‘yet’ that had you groaning out in frustration but in the best possible ways. How wasn’t this already enough? How did he have you so fucked out just by the sheer power of his fingers and tongue? It was sickening, he was sickening and you found yourself throwing your ass back on him to urge his cock into you already, to just fuck you open with all he had. 
“Taehyung, just-fuck! Fuck me, please.” You were pleading, needing to feel the wreckage of what you could tell was the biggest cock you’ll ever take.  
Taehyung had removed his pants and boxers in the moment, freeing his painfully angry cock from it’s confines. You were faltering from your position again when Taehyung suddenly prodded your abused hole with his engorged tip, you shuddering to life harshly. 
“Taehyung, just-” 
“Beg me.” 
You cried out in immediate desperation, his voice so authoritative it was sending you into submission, clutching the covers under you so hard your knuckles were white as you complied. “Taehyung, please, fuck me. I need you, please.” 
Taehyung’s arm was snug around your torso, feeling your every quaking expire in his hold and it was turning him on so agonizingly this was painful even for himself, but the way your sweet voice begged him was absolutely exhilarating.
“More.” 
“Taehyung, if you don’t fucking-!” You were cut off by the sharp impalement of Taehyung’s cock in a single breath, knocking all forms of wind out of you. The head alone was so large you went hurtling into the mattress, almost losing your shaking arms’ support until Taehyung pulled you back up for him, snaking his one hand that was previously around his cock to your breast while the other gripped at your hip. 
He was slowly sinking in, feeling your walls flutter open for him and the satisfied moan that left his mouth was evidence of how much this was affecting him. 
“Fuck...” Taehyung dragged out completely content, digging into your hip to watch you arch your back for him, on his knees as he filled you up from behind. “You’re so fucking tight and wet, holy shit.” 
You were struggling for air, oxygen leaving your lungs trying to accommodate for his monstrous size. It was unfair, so unfair he was so big and it had you praising him immediately, so full and stuffed it was the most pleasurable thing you’ve experienced all your life. 
“You’re so big, oh my God, Taehyung, so big.” One of your hands shot towards his holding you by your hip, interlacing your fingers together against your skin just to ground yourself, to manage the sharp pierce of his length until it simmered into a pleasurable burn. 
He bottomed out into your cervix and you both grunted loud, Taehyung containing himself just so he could feel your velvet walls palpitate around his throbbing dick. “Do you feel how hard I am, Y/N? Do you fucking feel it?” 
“Yes, God fuck! Tae, yes..” You sighed out, eyes watering at just how much pleasure was already raking your abdomen again. 
“That’s what you do to me, you barely touched me and this is how hard I am. How fucking badly I want you, how much I’ve always wanted you, wanted you since day one.” Taehyung’s voice was sincere and desperate, seemingly trying to counter your confession of your feelings from earlier.
“Show me, Taehyung.” You moaned, hands gripping his more affectionately, more desperately as you weakly held yourself up by the other. “Fuck me and show me how much you want me.” 
Taehyung grunted out harshly, pulling his cock out of you until he thrusted back in. The first thrust had you keening, sending you into the mattress only to have Taehyung pull you back up once again. Then the second came, your walls greedily soaking him into you and it felt perfect, like two puzzle pieces meant to connect with each other. 
Then came the third, the fourth, the fifth, all the way until Taehyung was pounding into you from behind with a drag so delicious you were moaning out more than you ever have in your entire life. 
And it was sickening, utterly sickening the way his dick began fucking you into the mattress so roughly, angling your body in ways for his cock to pump into all the right places with the right amount of pressure. He watched himself disappear into your little cunt repeatedly, holding your hip up to encourage you to arch so low your ass was snug against his pelvis, and couldn’t think of anything more fucking perfect. 
“You take me so well, so fucking well.” Taehyung praised, leaning over to aimlessly lay wet kisses up your spine like the demon he was, shoving himself into you over and over and over again with your walls convulsing around him.
You were trapping him inside you so tight he could spill into you in seconds, though held back determined he was making you cum again.
“So full, Taehyung, so deep.. all I feel is you.” The statement left you with a desperate sigh, your head hanging low until Taehyung’s hand kneading your breast suddenly wrapped around your throat, causing you to gasp at the arousing feeling. He pulled your head upwards, the junction between his long index finger and thumb forcing you to look forward, and you were utterly breathless at the scene.
His lips were near your ear in seconds, speaking like the devil incarnate as he was bent over you. “Look at us, look at yourself, so fucking pretty, so perfect.” You could suddenly see the reflection of Taehyung fucking into you from behind in his window, not even knowing tears had streamed down your face as his hand beautifully encased your throat, causing every nerve in your body to alight with fire. 
“Look at the way I fuck you, how much I love you.” Taehyung’s carnal eyes looked at you through the reflection of the window, heart twinging at the sight of you crying but knowing he’s making you feel good, continuing his onslaught of drilling your battered pussy. 
You moaned at the erotic scene, using every ounce of strength to keep yourself upright, your walls pulsing around Taehyung’s length as he thrusted harder and harder.
“Tae, fuck! I’ve always loved you, I always felt the same way, and I still do-ah!” Your lungs were tapping out when he suddenly shoved himself inside you to the brim, so utterly deep before he was thrusting again harshly, strangling out moans. 
Clear sweat was slick between your bodies, his huge, delicious cock incessantly tearing up your insides and all you could do was chant his name in pleasure, in bliss, in your love for him that was burning so bright it was nearly painful. 
“Y/N.. fuck. You’re ruining me. You’re so perfect, we’re so fucking perfect.” Taehyung was rambling at this point as his speed reflected his desperation, his immeasurable feelings for you. 
He was trying his damn hardest to distract himself from the release aching his balls. He was growing weak himself, feeling you reciprocate his rough thrusts by fucking him back the same way. And the image in the window? Had him reeling, needing to hear the most beautiful sound you’d make when you finally came, and he knew you would, bordering the precipice with the way your walls pulsed around him. 
Watching Taehyung fuck you in the window was now downright sinful to you, his harsh thrusts completely blissful and his hand gently squeezing at your throat was so dominant, so hot you were at your limit and ready to come. 
But what ended up sending you over, pushing you to release the tightening knot in your stomach was the sweet, tender way Taehyung began kissing your neck. 
The contrast between his cock abusing you and his plush lips kissing you so gently, so lovingly, it wasn’t long before you realized his fucking wasn’t just hard or rough, but full of sheer want, desire, love in all the right ways your walls were clenching around him rapidly in seconds. 
And when Taehyung angled himself somehow deeper, in that one, perfect spot, you clamped down and finally came so hard you saw stars, knew you’d completely drenched his cock with the loudest release of his name you were glad it was the only word you knew in this moment. 
“That’s it, baby. Just like that.” Taehyung breathed out in exhaustion, began soothing your abdomen with one hand and the other letting your head finally hang, grip loosened from around your throat and you could finally allow air back into your lungs. 
You were heaving when you spoke up, realizing something. “Inside me.. Taehyung.” You were dreary, utterly gone, but it still didn’t distract you from the blissful feeling of Taehyung’s cock deliciously stuffed and throbbing inside you, trying to coax his rightful release. “Cum inside me, Tae. Please, fill me up.” 
Taehyung didn’t need to be told twice when his cock worked a few more rough strokes into your tightened pussy and finally, finally came inside you. It was laced with a satisfied groan of your name, his grip on your side so intense you’d be glad if he left marks, wanting to remember every last bit of this night with Taehyung. 
He painted you completely white inside, spilling everything he could offer into you, using what little strength he had left to hold you up while he continued to empty his seed inside. Taehyung then lost all function and allowed you to fall, his broad body resting on top of yours as you both hit the mattress. 
Your chests rose and fell shallowly, completely taxed and having lost every ounce of strength. Taehyung’s hot breaths for air were fanning your neck, your arms sprawled out before you as Taehyung’s hands mindlessly interlaced with them against the tousled covers, cock still stuffing you whole. 
It was another moment of breathing and regaining oxygen when Taehyung suddenly kissed the side of your neck, giving your hands a small squeeze before you felt him lifting himself, his warmth disappearing and you panicked. 
“Where are you going?” Your throat was hoarse from screaming and moaning, a tinge of sadness to your tone as though he was leaving you, and Taehyung couldn’t help but find it endearing. 
“It’s okay, I’ll be right back.” He smiled, moving your hair from the side of your face to plant a kiss to your cheek, post-sex haze racking his brain though allowing reality to leak back into his mind. 
He then carefully, slowly pulled himself out of you, you whining at the loss of him and Taehyung smiled to himself in contentment, smoothing over your lower back with a palm in gratitude, before stepping towards his bathroom. 
He’d pulled his boxers back on and returned with a damp cloth, finding you still flipped and laying on your stomach, having dozed off in exhaustion until you felt Taehyung’s warmth and heard his dulcet voice hazing you awake. 
“Y/N, turn over for me.” His voice was hushed and tender, you complying by turning onto your back with his help. He then carefully swept the cloth against your battered core, you wincing a little with sensitivity and Taehyung made sure to clean more gently. 
The cloth was thrown back into his bathroom when he turned back to you, an arm thrown over your tear-stained face and the other clutching your body, clearly shivering in the cold now.
Taehyung easily scooped you into his arms and lifted you off the bed, carrying you over to his pillows and delicately placing you upon his duvet, pulling the covers out from underneath you and tucking you into his bed. 
You curled up into his blanket, Taehyung searching through his drawers for a stray t-shirt you could wear. He then lifted you into a sitting position, your eyes evidently sleepy and body limp as he pulled the shirt onto you, letting you fall back in place. 
Taehyung could only chuckle to himself thinking he did mean to ruin you, but not so harshly you were devoid of consciousness. He placed a little kiss to your forehead in apology, wiping some of the tears off your face before he rounded the bed, crawling in next to you.
His arms reached out to pull your back snug against his chest, feeling the sleep in the back of his eyes take him. He basked in the strawberry scent of your hair, completely gratified until you suddenly turned over towards him. 
His eyes shot open, only the top of your head coming into view as you nuzzled into his warm chest, your small self all tucked into Taehyung as he wrapped his arms around you like a safety net, holding you near.
And in that moment, all he could focus on was your light breathing, the sweet sound of your voice as you suddenly spoke in the dark of the night, moonlight glowing upon your entangled bodies. 
“I love you, Taehyung.” 
He grinned, the kind where he felt relieved, fulfilled, in a state of sheer bliss it was a moment before he replied, his own voice calm as you felt the hum through his chest, his hand tangled in your hair. 
“I love you, Y/N.” 
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The morning sun bled into Taehyung’s room, your eyes fluttering open at a time you had no concept of. You stirred, finding yourself still in Taehyung’s arm, in relatively the same position from last night. You didn’t even feel like moving from his hold, the feeling so utterly fuzzy and comforting. 
You basked in the sensation until he began to stir next to you, pretty eyelashes batting as his eyes fluttered open. His sights fell to you, eyes adorably taken by sleep while his soft hair was endearingly mussed by his pillow. You smiled at him warmly as he grinned back.
“Good morning.” you said shyly, nearly hiding underneath his covers. 
“Good morning.” 
You then flopped onto your back peering up at the ceiling, last night coming back to you in dream-like flashes you were surprised was somehow your reality. 
It was just miraculous, utterly unbelievable until Taehyung turning into your side and snuggling his face into your neck was evidence everything was real, that he was real. It wasn’t some remnant of a dream or hallucination, but the real Taehyung as his arm draped over your stomach. 
You had to bite your lip to contain your happiness, utter exuberance the universe had somehow finally paired you and him together, and funnily enough, on Christmas of all days. 
“What are you thinking about, princess?” Taehyung hummed into your collarbone inquisitively, half asleep as he cuddled you. 
You smiled, basking in his comfort. “Merry Christmas, Taehyung.” 
Taehyung chuckled against you, arm pulling you closer to him as he kissed your neck. “Merry Christmas, Y/N.” 
“Can you believe we met each other again during Christmas? It’s like the perfect Christmas miracle.” You marveled in wonder, tracing your finger along Taehyung’s pretty hand on your stomach. 
“I mean, you know what Andy Williams said..” He mused next to you, husky voice laden with sleep. “It’s the most wonderful time of the year.”
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snowrobin-133 · 3 years
Text
A Happy Ending Yet to Happen
Characters: Xiao x F!Reader (Y/N), implied traveler x Xiao at end, ft. Venti and Paimon Fandom: Genshin Impact WC: 8.2k words Tags: character death, immortal(?) x mortal, grief, sadness, tears, angst, spoilers for Xiao’s voice lines and stories, Xiao might be slightly OOC in some scenes A/N: I’m pretty sure you can’t call Xiao an immortal since yakshas can die and stuff but like they live a long time so it sorta works HAHA. Also this hasn’t really been beta read and so there’s probably a couple of mistakes, sorry about that!
[EDIT] I FORGOT A PART FLIP- anyways yeah I accidently deleted a part somehow while it was in the doc??? Idk what happened but it’s back slkasdjasldaj
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In the center of Mondstadt’s square stood a fellow clad in green, playing a lyre as he weaved a tragic tale of an adepti and a mortal. The fellow first introduced himself as Venti before starting the tale to curious onlookers that stopped to listen.
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Many centuries ago, a young girl, in her twenties perhaps, clad in strange attire, arrived in Tevyat, injuries scattered across her body. She was somewhat near the Liyue Harbor of that time and the millileth found her, quickly bringing her to the doctor where she was treated. The injuries were severe as if she had been slammed with a heavy rock that flew out of nowhere. With some healing and herbs, the doctors managed to save her life.
After a couple of days, she awoke. The millileth arrived and they asked her many questions.“Where did you get those injuries? What were you doing out in the wild? Where did you come from?”
Every question they asked was either given vague responses or a simple “I don’t know”. It seems that she had lost her memory. The millileth was in a tight spot. They then asked her one last question, hope shining in their eyes, “What is your name?”
The girl looked down at her lap, searching through the hazy memories in her mind. One word stuck out to her, perhaps that was her name. After a few more seconds of pondering, she answered with, “Y/N.”  
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After a couple of weeks, Y/N was released from the hospital. She was given a home to stay in and got a job as a waitress in one of Liyue Harbor’s most popular restaurants. She quickly fit in with the atmosphere of the city and got along with the city folk, a drastic change from when she first appeared in Liyue.
After some time, Y/N decided to take a couple of weeks off to travel around Liyue, although not all of it, just to places she had heard of from customers and colleagues. Her first stop was near Dihua Marsh. According to what Y/N was told, on an islet of the marsh stood a stone pillar with a large golden-leaved tree sitting on top of it. There were also rumors of a young man, called the Conqueror of Demons, that would be seen in the area. There was little to no details of the man other than that he seemed to hold an anemo vision and fought with a polearm. 
Y/N was slightly curious about this man but thought little of him, being distracted with simply trying to get to the area unscathed first. The monsters that stood in her way were rather easy to trick and avoid. Some were slightly persistent but she managed to shake them off after a couple of minutes. Although she lacked her memories, she, strangely enough, seemed to remember some pointless, or in this case, useful survival tips. 
After a couple of days, Y/N arrived at the islet as the sun began to set. She decided to look around to set up camp but was quickly interrupted by the growls and yells of hilichurls. Looking around, she quickly spotted them, getting into a position to run if needed. Y/N then paused, noticing something sinister coming from them. 
“There’s something different about these hilichurls…” she murmured to herself, attempting to back away quietly and hide. Thankfully, they didn’t seem to notice her movement and she hid behind some bushes nearby. She noted that they seemed to be walking towards her and she quickly put a hand over her mouth and nose, muffling her breathing as she hoped they wouldn’t notice her.
Before they got too close though, something suddenly came out of the sky, slamming down into the ground with green-colored spears shooting out of the ground. The force of whatever had slammed into the ground nearly blew Y/N away but she thankfully only fell on her butt.
She quickly regained her balance and watched the scene unfold in front of her. As the dust cleared, she could see a young man with black and teal hair and green tattoos standing straight with a polearm in hand. 
He was a somewhat distance from her with his back towards her but his head then turned around, making eye contact with Y/N. She flinched at his piercing gaze but he quickly turned away. Y/N was unable to think more of it as the young man started fighting the hilichurls. As she watched him fight, a sudden bad feeling started to stir up in her stomach. With the bad feeling in mind, she decided to back away a bit more as the fighting got more and more intense. 
The young man handled the hilichurls quickly, treating them as if they were ragdolls. Y/N watched in awe and slight terror at his strength. In just a few minutes, the hilichurls laid on the ground, not moving at all, and the man stood over them with cold gazes. He then whipped around and walked towards Y/N.
Y/N flinched at the sudden attention and leaned back as the young man loomed over her. His glare pierced through her, making her sweat bullets, “I- uh...thank you…!” she squeaked out under his intense gaze. 
He scoffed before speaking, “Night. When the darkness comes to envelop you, Don’t stay outside,” he turned around, preparing to leave.
“W-wait! What’s… What’s your name?” she stuttered out.
He looked at her, pausing before saying, “Adeptus Xiao,” and seemingly evaporated as he looked away.
Y/N sat on the ground, frozen, as she attempted to comprehend what just happened. After a couple of minutes, she snapped out of her daze and decided to heed Xiao’s words. 
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Venti hummed a bit before speaking, “After that first meeting, the girl and the Adeptus would run into each other many more times. Each run-in brought the two closer and closer, far more than they would realize” he smiled mischievously.
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The first run-in with each other happened only a couple of months after they first met. Y/N hadn’t seen Xiao once since the incident and returned to Liyue Harbor with little trouble. She attempted to look up some more information on him but came up empty. The only thing she managed to find out was that he was a Yaksha, an adepti that protects Liyue from demons and mutants that appeared when gods fell during the Archon War. She figured that the hilichurls she saw Xiao defeat that day were likely mutants. 
I’m glad I didn’t get involved with them at all… Y/N thought to herself as she set up some tables early in the morning.
“Ah, Y/N!”
Y/N turned around to see her boss, “Ah, Zhang Wei*. Do you need something?”
“Yes, is it fine if I trouble you to find some of these ingredients for me? I’ll give you a couple of weeks off to do so!” He handed her a small piece of paper with a list of ingredients with locations listed next to the names.
“Ah… Sure,” Y/N took the piece of paper from him. 
“Thank you so much! I’ll be sure to pay you double for this!” Zhang Wei smiled.
Y/N nodded, her mind focused on the location next to Horsetail. Dihua Marsh. Y/N wondered if she would see Xiao again.
She decided her first stop would be Dihua marsh, hoping to see the young adepti once again. Y/N doubted she would see him again, but why not try?
Y/N looked at herself in the mirror of her small home, she wore simple clothes that would make traveling easier, and over her shoulder was a satchel to put the ingredients in. Double-checking that she had everything, Y/N put on her shoes and left her home.
Y/N finally arrived at Dihua Marsh, although she was on the ground and out of breath. She had already grabbed some horsetail just moments earlier but then a group of hilichurls came up. They were different from regular ones though and she noted that they were similar to the hilichurls she had seen when she first met Xiao. After a while, she finally managed to lose them by hiding in some large bushes.
She threw her head back, taking a large breath of air. “Damn those hilichurls, huff… Why must they all be so… persistent…!” she muttered.
“You’re lucky they didn’t find you out.”
“Yeah… Wait-!” Y/N jolted and whipped around, seeing the familiar cold stone face of Xiao standing behind her.
He closed his eyes and sighed, “It seems I’ve caused you trouble again. I apologize.”
“...Huh? How did you cause me trouble?”
“That is because the changes that occurred in those hilichurls came from me, or more precisely, from the karma I’ve accumulated.”
“Ah...but you just killed those monsters, right? So if anything, you did me a bit of a favor,” Y/N laughed quietly and smiled at him.
He scoffed, “Anyways, there will likely be more of these monsters, so you best watch out,” he then turned to leave.
Y/N jumped up, “Ah! Wait!”
“...What?”
“Can you, uh, act like a guard for me? I doubt I’ll be able to avoid those monsters like normal ones…” Y/N laughed awkwardly, scratching the back of her neck.
“Huh? Why should I?” Xiao asked coldly, crossing his arms.
“I have no way of protecting myself and like I said, I doubt I’d be able to avoid those monsters like normal ones…”
“Hmph… You’re quite bold to ask me that.”
Y/N clasped her hands together, “Please~! Just for a couple of days! That’s all!”
Xiao stayed silent for a few minutes before speaking, “...Fine.”
Her head shot up as she looked at him in hope. Before she could speak though, Xiao spoke again. “But don't think about getting close, and stay out of my way, or all that awaits you is regret,” he warned.
Y/N looked at him in surprise and slight confusion before nodding, “Oh, alright. Thank you so much though! Oh! By the way, I’m Y/N”
Xiao didn’t understand why he was agreeing to protect this feeble girl. There was nothing special about her, no vision, no special aura, nothing. So why is he even wasting his time with her? He sighed as he watched the girl gather more horsetails in the area. “Reduced to being a guard for a feeble girl, how pathetic,” he muttered under his breath, yet he kept his guard up and watched out for her.
After Y/N gathered enough horsetails, the duo made their way to Quince Village to gather jueyun chilis. Night soon arrived and Xiao decided for them to rest, gruffly claiming “You humans barely have any stamina.” 
After a bit of searching, the two found themselves in front of some ruins by Wuwang Hill. As Y/N began setting up a camp, Xiao jumped up, landing on top of one of the ruined structures, “Go and rest. I'll be here,” and sat down.
Y/N tilted her head, “Aren’t you going to sleep as well?”
Xiao glared at her, “You think I sleep? You have no respect for the ways of the adepti!”
She flinched at his sudden outburst, “Ah, sorry…”
His hard glare softened into a cold gaze, “...Just go rest,” and turned away, looking out into the wilderness.
Y/N’s lips curled into a soft smile, He’s harsh… but I think he has a good heart she thought and quietly giggled, settling down into the makeshift bed she made and watched the night sky. 
The two continued to journey for another week before separating. Y/N arrived back in Liyue Harbor with all the ingredients collected feeling a bit more giddy than usual. Her friends in the city all noticed, asking who the lucky fellow is. Y/N simply laughed, telling them that she made a new friend.
-----------------
The next meeting was when Y/N was exploring around Mt. Tianheng as the sun hung low in the sky. She had finished work and decided to walk around. On impulse, she decided to go off the road and was walking past a waterfall when she noticed something in the grass. Raising an eyebrow, she decided to walk closer, only to see the familiar hair and clothing of Xiao. 
Y/N’s eyes widened in shock at the sight of blood and quickly looked over his unconscious body. She hurriedly opened her bag and searched through it, eventually finding a pouch of first aid items.
“I’m glad I had the foresight to pack first-aid items,” she sighed in relief and began to apply first aid. Y/N was surprised with how natural it felt to apply first aid as if she had done it countless times before. Perhaps she was some kind of doctor in the life she no longer remembered. Y/N quickly pushed the thoughts to the back of her mind and focused on the injured man in front of her. 
After some time, she had patched up all of the severe injuries and she looked over the rest of his body as Xiao awoke.
“Ah! You’re awake! Phew…”
“... What are you doing here…?” he asked groggily.
“I was taking a walk, and anyways, I should be asking you that!”
He attempted to sit up but flinched and Y/N quickly went to help, “Don’t touch me.”
“Huh? But you’re hurt and-”
Xiao quickly cut her off, “Prolonged interaction with adepti will become dangerous, as your souls are not as robust as ours are.”
Y/N glared at him, “We’ll worry about that later! Can you move a little at least?”
“Hmph, of course I can.” 
“Then let’s get you out of the open, it looks like it’s about to rain soon.”
“... Fine.” Xiao finally allowed her to help him up and to lead him away from the open. They decided to take a rest in the cavern behind the waterfall, rain beginning to fall as they neared the cavern. 
As Xiao settled down against the wall, Y/N noted that it was colder thanks to the mist flowers that grew nearby. Standing up, she took off her coat, passing it to Xiao. “Here, it’s cold.”
“My body is used to these temperatures. Your body is not.”
Y/N sighed, “And who exactly is the injured one out of us?… Just take it,” she dropped the coat on his lap before turning away to set up a fire. Xiao sighed, too exhausted to argue.
As the fire blazed alive, Y/N asked, “... What exactly happened to leave you passed out in the grass?” 
“... It’s none of your concern,” Xiao answered coldly.
Y/N sighed, “...Alright.” 
Xiao paused before speaking, “In the thousands of years that have passed, I have taken countless wraiths. If you want no trouble, stay away from me.”
Y/N looked at him in surprise, “... Like I’m gonna do that,” she stuck her tongue out at him and he scoffed in response. Y/N sighed, opting to not say anything more, and turned her attention back to the fire as she began to make something with what little ingredients she had.
After ten or so minutes, she decided to speak up, “... Is there anything troubling you, Xiao?”
“Trouble..? Hmph.. trouble means nothing to Adepti. There is no trouble that can last for a thousand years” Xiao glanced at her from the corner of his eye.
“Ah…”
“...Don’t worry needlessly about me, as I said, you should stay away from me instead of getting closer.”
“You’re still going on about that, huh? Well, guess what! I’m just as stubborn as you so I’m not gonna leave you alone!”
Xiao sighed, “... What a menace…” he muttered.
Y/N pouted in response as she handed him a plate of Almond Tofu, “Here, eat up.”
“...Isn’t this a dessert?”
“Haha, yeah it is… but the ingredients it needed are the only things I had on me that I could turn into a meal, and besides it’ll boost your strength!”
Xiao sighed, “Human meals are rarely ever good.”
“Just try it, Xiao, you need food to get back on your feet y’know!” 
“I’m an Adeptus, my body does not follow the same rules that your bodies do,” he scoffed yet reluctantly put a spoonful in his mouth. 
Y/N pouted in response and turned away, preparing a dish for herself.
Xiao swallowed down the spoonful before speaking, “... dreams.”
“Hm?”
“It tastes like the dreams I once devoured.” 
Y/N paused before staring at him as if he had grown two heads, “... I, uh… Is that a good thing…?”
Xiao opted to not answer, instead, he ate another spoon of the almond tofu. Y/N sighed, deciding that it would be useless to try and pry further. The two ate in silence, listening to the rain pitter-patter outside of the cavern.
Y/N cleaned up the area a bit before leaning against the wall, putting a distance between her and him, and relaxed. Her head turned to the cavern’s entrance, making note of the heavier rain, “It looks like the rain won’t let up anytime soon…” and closed her eyes, falling asleep.
After a couple of minutes, Y/N’s breathing had become slow and steady. Xiao wondered if this was because of the prolonged contact between him and her. 
Once confirming she was asleep, Xiao stood up and walked towards her. He wrapped the coat she had given him around her, whispering a quiet “thank you”. He raised his hand, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear before standing up. His eyes remained on her as he made a conscious decision to avoid her as much as he could. The more contact she had with him, the more danger she would be in. Gazing at her for a few more seconds, he turned around and disappeared. 
Y/N awoke late at night, quickly noting that there was a warm weight on her. As the grogginess wore off, she noticed that the weight was the coat she had given Xiao. Speaking of Xiao, he was no longer where she last saw he was. 
“Ah… he must’ve left already… He better not have reopened his wounds.”
-----------------
The next meeting was several months after that incident. Even after traveling to Dihua Islet several times, Y/N did not see Xiao once, even if she had brought almond tofu with her. Y/N wasn’t completely sure if he did actually like her almond tofu but she was going to take any chances to get to see him. Thinking back to their time in the cavern, Y/N wondered if he was trying to distance himself because of the energy situation. She could understand the reason but still couldn’t help but miss the yaksha.
Y/N stared at her cup of tea, lost in thought wondering where Xiao was, as she hung out with three of her friends. They were talking about some kind of gossip when one of them noticed her silence and smiled mischievously, “Y/N~?”
Y/N quickly snapped out of her thoughts and looked at her friend with a hum, “Yes?”
“Just what are you thinking so deeply about? Ever since you went on that journey of yours, you’ve been staring out into space way more than usual~” she teased.
Y/N flinched at her observation and laughed, “I’m not sure what you’re talking about…”
Her friend pouted, “Oh don’t be like that Y/N~! Tell me! Please?” By now, the other two had noticed and began joining in.
Y/N simply laughed with a shake of her head, “No way!”
“A shame…” her friend hung her head and so did the others as they sighed dramatically, albeit did nothing in changing Y/N’s mind. It’s not likely that they would believe in her tale of becoming (sort of) friends with an adepti, a yaksha that vanquishes demons at that. Anyways.
“At least tell us if you’re thinking about a guy !” one of her friends leaned on her as she laughed, deciding to cave in a bit.
“Alright, alright,” at that, her friends perked up immediately, all eyes on her as she looked away, slightly blushing, “... it is a guy.”
They all gasped dramatically, “Oh my! What’s he like?!” they all asked excitedly.
Y/N decided that it wouldn’t hurt to tell them a small bit, “Hm… he’s a jerk that’s cold and rough,” she giggled at her description of him, “…but he’s still a caring person underneath it all.”
Her friends shared a knowing look with mischievous smiles, “It sounds like you got a crush, Y/N~” one of them teased.
Y/N laughed, “Even if I do, it’s not like I’d tell the three of you.”
“A pity.”
“So when are we gonna meet him?”
Y/N smiled at them, “never,” and sipped her tea. 
“Oh come on~ Whyy?” they whined. Y/N only laughed, not answering any more of their questions about Xiao. After a couple of minutes, they gave up on trying to pry answers out of her and moved onto other topics. 
Y/N walked home, humming to herself, planning her next trip to Dihua Islet, “Hm...I wonder if I should bring something else other than almond tofu…”
“Stick with the almond tofu. Other mortal foods are things I can’t stomach.”
“Huh, is that so- wait-” Y/N whipped around to see the familiar face of Xiao leaning against a pillar with his arms crossed, wearing his signature frown. She quickly gasped, “Xiao! I was so worried about you! But wait, what are you doing here in the harbor?!” Y/N remembered the journey he had accompanied her on, how he had mentioned hating crowded and loud places. Although the area they were in at the moment was deserted and quiet, the noise of the marketplace could still be heard.
“The constant offerings of Almond Tofu and notes were beginning to get annoying,” he remarked bluntly, making Y/N flinch.
“A-ah, sorry,” Y/N laughed as she scratched the back of her neck.
He glanced at her and sighed, before tossing an item to her. Y/N quickly caught it with both hands, looking at her hands in surprise. “...What’s this?” she asked as she took a look at the item, seeing that it was a butterfly made of leaves.
“... It’s an adepti amulet I made. It staves off evil.”
Y/N eyes sparkled in awe as she looked at the beautiful details of the amulet, “Thank you… but why?”
“You mentioned your day of birth was near this time,” Xiao bit his lip, deciding not to mention that he thought the celebration of someone’s birthday was something he considered redundant. Why he kept his thoughts to himself would be a mystery to himself, but perhaps it had something to do with her happy expression.
Y/N glanced at him in surprise, “Oh wow! You remember that?!”
“Hmph, I was simply reminded of it from that last note of yours.”
“Geh-!” Y/N flinched as the memory of writing her last note to him flashed by, “... I forgot I wrote that…” she looked away with an awkward grin.
“Hmph, I will take my leave now.”
“Ah! Wait!”
“...What?”
Y/N looked at him from head to toe, “How are your injuries?”
Xiao sighed, “They’ve healed already, you need not worry.”
Y/N pouted at him, “How am I not going to worry? You disappeared for countless months without letting me see you once!”
“Did you forget what I had said? Mortal souls are-”
“Are not as robust as yours are,” Y/N finished with a sigh, “Even so, can’t we just meet up regularly? Like every couple months or so!”
Xiao stared at her pleading expression and sighed, “It is not wise to do so.”
Y/N sighed, “Ok then… let’s exchange letters!”
“...Letters?”
“Yeah! We can talk regularly without any physical interaction!”
Xiao sighed and attempted to answer, but was quickly cut off with a pang in his head. He grimaced as he flinched and held up a hand to his temple.
Y/N drew closer at his pained expression, “Are you ok?” she asked, panicking.
“Their voices... I can always hear them. Their screams, their cries, demanding more death... This is my burden to carry. It has nothing to do with you.”
“...But I’d like to at least help,” she smiled sadly at him.
“And just how do you plan to do that?”
“Umm…” Y/N then raised her hands to his face, stopping as he flinched away, “ah, sorry, uh, can I?”
“... Fine,” Xiao muttered, a faint tint of red on his cheeks, and leaned forward, flinching slightly at the feeling of Y/N’s hand on his face. “... Just how is this helping?” his body rigid in her hold.
Y/N pouted, “I’m trying my best! And anyway, just try to relax,” she murmured, avoiding his piercing gaze as her thumbs began rubbing circles on his cheeks.
Xiao sighed, pulling away, “This isn’t really helping me.”
Y/N pulled her hands away with a sigh, “that’s a shame…” she muttered. She then brightened as she thought of something, “Oh! Maybe we can make some kind of potion or medicine that’ll help!”
“...I understand your intentions, but mortal medicine has no effect on Adepti.”
“Wait, seriously?!” Y/N slumped over with a groan, “I’m sorry…”
“As I said, this has nothing to do with you, you do not need to spend your time helping me.”
Y/N looked down, “... Even though it has nothing to do with me… it still hurts to see you in pain as well.”
“...You better not be pitying me.”
“Of course not! I’m being empathetic!” “Huh? Isn’t that the same thing?”
“No! Of course not! Pity and empathy are two different things!” Y/N then went on a rant about the differences as Xiao sighed. Yet he didn’t feel annoyed, instead, there was a warm fuzzy feeling that replaced it. If he hadn’t noticed it, he would’ve let a small smile slip as well.
-----------------
Like Y/N had proposed, the two began exchanging letters. Her letters were usually long-winded and filled with emotions while Xiao’s were short and blunt, reflecting his personality, which amused Y/N. They only exchanged a few letters due to Y/N being unable to go out of Liyue Harbor often, but within those few letters, they found their attraction to each other growing.
Y/N stared out the window in a daze. In front of her was some paperwork from the restaurant, albeit she paid no mind to them. Instead, she found herself thinking about Xiao. She was quickly snapped out of her thoughts as she noticed a light in the sky. It was far in the distance but Y/N quickly realized that it was a lantern.
“Right, it’s almost time for the lantern rite… I wonder if I can convince Xiao to come by…” With a sigh, Y/N returned to the papers in front of her, making a note to ask him later.
Sometime later, Y/N finally finished the letter. Written in it was the general stuff she normally wrote with updates on her life and some interesting trivia she learned recently. At the end of the letter, she made sure to mention the lantern rite. “By the way Xiao, did you know the lantern rite’s coming up? You should come by to watch the mingxiao lantern! I heard it’s super amazing!” 
With a smile, Y/N closed the letter and prepared to leave the harbor. As she was preparing, a sudden and small thought popped up in her mind. I wonder what Xiao looks like smiling…. Y/N blushed as soon as the thought registered in her mind and shook her head. 
Quickly she set out for the designated area that they left their replies. Dihua Islet. Xiao often wandered in that area which made it an area that they would both find the replies easily. Silently, Y/N hoped that she would also get to see him once she arrived there.
Surprisingly, her small wish would come true. As she arrived at Dihua Islet, Y/N’s eyes were quickly caught by the familiar figure of Xiao sitting on one of the boulders on the islet. A smile appeared on her features as she quickly called out his name, “Xiao!”
Xiao turned at the familiar call of his name, greeted with the sight of Y/N rushing towards him with the oh-so-familiar smile that made his stomach turn in knots. He nodded as a greeting and he jumped off the boulder, meeting her halfway.
Her grin grew in size at the acknowledgment, even though butterflies began to flutter in her stomach. She quickly rummaged through her bag and took out the letter, handing it to him. “By the way… The lantern rite is coming up,” she informed him.
“The lantern rite? The time for humans to discard their glowing trash into the sea has returned, how childish…” 
Her smile quickly dropped, “... You really think that?”
“I do… the hatred and residual energy of the dead gods from some centuries ago sometimes erupt, and they often erupt in a large scale during this troublesome festival.”
“...And so you’re the one that’s fighting every time, right?”
“Yes.” “... It doesn’t happen every lantern rite though, right?”
Xiao glanced at her and sighed, “...No.”
“Then could you at least stop by to watch the mingxiao lantern? It’ll be worth your time! I promise!”
Xiao watched her as she stared at him with desperate eyes. He did not wish to admit it, but he knew deep inside that he couldn’t say no, and eventually gave in, “...If you insist, I will go with you.”
Y/N’s expression quickly lit up with a smile and she cheered, “Yay! I know a great place outside of the harbor that we can meet at to watch it!”
Xiao watched as she grabbed a map of Liyue out of her bag and began pointing at areas where they could watch it. Although he didn’t say it out loud, he was grateful that she was picking areas where there wouldn’t be many people. Nor would he say that he was growing nervous at how close she was, or how he was looking at every detail of her delicate face, or...
After a couple of minutes, they made arrangements to meet and watch the mingxiao lantern. As she walked away after (reluctantly) saying their goodbyes, Y/N internally celebrated with glee, a light pink blush tinting her cheeks.
The day finally came, the night of the Lantern Rite and when the large mingxiao lantern would be released into the sky. Y/N spent the first half of the day serving customers at the restaurant before returning home to prepare for her meeting with Xiao. She had everything in her bag but was quickly distracted when she noticed a food stall. Although Xiao couldn’t stand most human foods, this particular food stall was selling Almond Tofu. With a smile, she quickly bought some almond tofu as well as food for herself before setting off to find Xiao.
As Y/N arrived at the meeting place, she quickly spotted the lonesome figure of Xiao, standing at the ledge. She quickly called out his name and jogged up to where he was, handing him the almond tofu.
“... why did you get me this?” He asked, although took the plate.
Y/N smiled, “Because the lantern rite isn’t just about the lanterns! Plus I was hungry…” she quietly admitted the last part with a pout. Xiao released a huff of air and the two ate in silence, waiting for the time that the mingxiao lantern would be released. 
After some time, Y/N figured that it must be getting close so she gave him a piece of plaustrite and a carving tool as she took out two xiao lanterns.
“What are these for?” Xiao asked, motioning to the plaustrite and carving tool.
“We carve our wishes on these, then we stick it into the lanterns and let them float away!” she explained to him.
Xiao took the plaustrite and carving tool with a huff, “How exactly will these grant our wishes?”
“Hm… I’m not sure,” Xiao looked incredulously at her as she laughed. He sighed and glanced at the plaustrite sitting in his hand.
Y/N calmed down before she thought about what to wish for. A wish then popped up in her mind after a few seconds, “I wish to spend more time with Xiao”. She blushed at the wish, but deep inside, she knew it was the one thing she wanted more than anything. Steeling her resolve, she quickly carved the wish into the plaustrite with a faint blush on her cheeks. 
Xiao finished carving and glanced at Y/N before quickly looking back down at his own piece of plaustrite. He didn’t write a wish for himself since he didn’t have any wishes or desires. So, he decided to go with a statement, a promise. “If she finds herself clinging onto the past, reluctant to move on, I shall quietly remember the memories in my heart for her”. 
The two placed the plaustrites into their own respective lanterns before letting them fly into the air. They stood close to each other, their hands brushing against each other, as they watched their lanterns fly mingle in the air with the many other lanterns. 
After a couple of minutes, Y/N glanced at Xiao from the corner of her eye, spotting a small smile of awe appearing on his face. Her eyes widened at the sight of the rare smile and blushed before quickly looking away and into the sky. Tightening her jaw, she made the risky move of interlocking her pinkie finger with his. Y/N expected him to pull his hand away, and he did, yet he quickly returned his hand to interlock his slim fingers with hers. Y/N’s eyes widened again, a deep blush spreading across the rest of her face, as she looked down and squeezed his hand. Unbeknownst to her, painted on Xiao’s face was also a deep red blush.
----------------- [Edit: this is a part that got deleted accidently but it’s back lol]
Xiao found himself puzzled. Recently, a strange mortal had been hanging around him, wanting to get closer to him. Even stranger was that he felt the same way, wanting to get closer to them. The feeling and fluttering in his chest and stomach were foreign and even a tinge disgusting. Yet he seemed to crave more, more of their smile and expressions, more of the peace that surrounds them. He knew better though. Yet he found himself persisting against the knowledge of the mortal soul.
Xiao found himself falling deeper into the rabbit hole. Perhaps he could find momentary peace with the mortal. 
Y/N was traveling to Dihua islet, wanting to check if Xiao had left a reply to her previous letter, as well as a chance to actually see him in person. If he didn’t, then she had a letter to put in its place. On her journey, she encountered a traveler, who had told her that there was a group of treasure hoarders camping by the main road. She was told to either go back and or to take a detour. Y/N was confident in her skills though and decided to continue traveling through the main road.
What a bad decision that was.
As Y/N passed some ruins, a small blade flew past her face, barely grazing her nose. She gasped, slapping a hand over her nose as she stepped back. Quickly checking her hand, she sighed in relief at the lack of blood before looking up.
Stepping out of some bushes was a small group of men dressed in the clothing of the treasure hoarders. Y/N eyes widened, cautiously taking a step back.
One of them snickered, “Scared little girl? No need to be. We only want one thing.”
Another threw their shovel over their shoulders, “Right, just give us your stuff and we’ll leave you alone.”
Y/N glared at them, pushing her bag to rest on her back instead of the side, “Like I’m giving you all the stuff I worked my butt for.”
“Hmph, you’ve got a pretty face but a pretty bad sense of danger. Fine, we’ll just take it from you with force.”
Y/N tensed, preparing to run as the treasure hoarders came after her. Quickly turning around, she attempted to make a run for it. Before she could even lift her leg, an arrow pierced her calf, with a scream. Blood splattered onto the ground and she collapsed, “Ack-!”
Pain seared through her from her leg up and sat up with a groan. Shadows loomed over her and Y/N whipped around, seeing the Treasure hoarders smirking above her.
The one with the crossbow grabbed her by the wrist, “If you don’t want to get even more hurt then hand over your stuff.”
Gritting her jaw, Y/N twisted her hand around to grab the man’s wrist, twisting it to release her. He yelped in surprise before being pulled to the ground. Y/N stood up while she could in the shock of the moment and attempted to run. The arrow stuck in her calf made it difficult to run but the adrenaline rushing through her numbed the pain. 
Before she could even get far, a barrage of arrows flew towards her, multiple hitting her and throwing her to the ground. With a screech of pain, she collapsed, arrows sticking out from many limbs of her body.
As she laid on the ground, her mind wandered to Xiao’s smiling face. It was merely a glimpse into his softer side, but she remembered that that mere glimpse was enough to make her fall even deeper into the abyss of love. As her consciousness began fading in and out, she whispered his name, “Xiao…”
The treasure hoarders that stood over her were suddenly thrown to the ground, skidding away from the force that had crashed into them. Y/N squinted up, spotting the familiar black and teal hair of the young yaksha. “I’m here,” he announced, glancing at her.
“Mhm…” She smiled as tears clouded her eyes.
To the yaksha, seeing the state Y/N was in as she laid on the ground brought the deepest depths of his fury to the surface. He turned his gaze to the treasure hoarders, tightening his grip on his polearm before bringing swift justice to them, albeit not killing them. The treasure hoarders laid on the ground, groaning and moaning in pain. 
“Worthless,” Xiao muttered coldly, allowing his polearm to disappear. Xiao turned around and walked towards the injured Y/N. He knelt beside her, picking her up gently, a stark contrast to his hard glare, and avoiding the arrows that stuck out of her.
Feeling the warmth of Xiao, Y/N smiled, snuggling into him as she tried to ignore the pain of her wounds. “Thank you...Xiao,” she whispered. 
Xiao didn’t reply but he tightened his grip on her. He then spoke, “If you awake to a knife at your throat, if monsters dig their claws into you, if death comes knocking at your door, call out my name. Adeptus Xiao. I will be here when you call.”
Y/N pulled away slightly and met his strong gaze. As his words registered in her mind, she could feel her eyes start to water again, and whispered his name, resting her head on his chest “...Xiao.”
Xiao’s strong gaze softened at the whisper, “I’m here.”
The tears clouding Y/N’s vision began to fall as she whispered his name many more times, fisting his clothes and burying her face into his chest. Xiao tightened his hold on her comfortingly, replying every time she whispered his name. 
Some time passed and Xiao had taken Y/N somewhere safer. Dihua Islet. Where he treated her injuries. Due to the amount of blood and tatters on her, Xiao had thought she was more severely injured, but thankfully, none were severe.
Y/N sat on the ground, trying to stay still as Xiao treated the injuries on her arm. She stayed quiet before her eyes wandered to Xiao’s stern expression. Her eyes then fell to his lips, finding herself wondering what it felt like to kiss them. Her eyes widened as she realized what her thoughts were and quickly shook her head, a raging blush on her cheeks.
Xiao glanced up, an eyebrow raised at her sudden outburst. He dropped back down to her arm before speaking, “...It's too late now, you know. The connection between us is too strong. Even if you wanted to, it's too late to sever it.”
Y/N shook out of her flustered state, glancing at him, “Huh? Why would I do that?”
Xiao raised his head in surprise, “... You've never thought to sever it?” he paused and sighed, “This eternal dance of demon subjugation... My fight goes on… But… I would like to know more about you.”
Y/N stared at him in surprise, before her features softened into a small smile, “I want to know more about you too, Xiao…”
The two fell further into the rabbit hole. Deciding to risk everything for the peace they found in each other.
-----------------
Time passed and Y/N’s memory came back in small pieces, but they were enough for her to know a general amount of her past. She came from far away, perhaps a different world, that was far more advanced than the places here in Tevyat. The clothes she first arrived here in as well were similar to what the people wore in her memories as well.
After remembering more and more of her past, she decided to look into the other 7 nations of the continent, hoping to find her home. She brought home some books on the other nations to her house. After only a couple of hours, Y/N figured out that her home didn’t belong to any of the 7 nations. Many were far from advanced than the places she remembers in her memories. 
“I guess I am really in another world…” she spoke to herself quietly. Y/N wasn’t sure what to make of this. Perhaps she had a happy life in her original world, happily living with people that she no longer knew. But now this world had also become a home to her. At the thought of home, her mind flashed to Xiao.
Her cheeks heated up and she rested her head in her arms, warm feelings bubbling up within her. Xiao had only held her for less than an hour when she had been attacked, yet the warmth and gentleness of his hold were addicting. Y/N missed it. She glanced out the window, finding that the night was rather lonely.
After the incident with the treasure hoarders, Xiao decided that he would come to her instead of Y/N coming to him at Dihua Marsh. Y/N first protested, bringing up his distaste of crowded areas, but the yaksha was stubborn. Eventually, she relented, but she came to enjoy the monthly visits of the Yaksha. 
She perked at the knocking sound of the door to the balcony. With a smile, Y/N stood up and walked to the door, seeing the familiar Yaksha leaning against the railings of the balcony. Opening the door, she grinned, “Hey, Xiao.”
Xiao simply nodded but didn’t come inside. Y/N crossed her arms behind her, contemplating a slightly bold question. He noticed her contemplating gaze, throwing a gruff “What is it?” at her.
Y/N tilted her head, “... Can I hug you, Xiao?”
Xiao jumped at the question, his eyes wide and a blush beginning to adorn his cheeks, “Just what are you asking? Do you have no respect for the adepti?”
Y/N giggled quietly, “It’s a yes or no question, Xiao.” Xiao grumbled, not replying. Y/N giggled again, holding her arms open, “Well?”
Xiao sighed, holding his arms slightly open as well, unable to find it within himself to refuse her. Y/N giggled, walking towards him and wrapping her arms around his slim waist. Xiao tensed at the touch but slowly relaxed in her warm embrace. Within a couple of minutes, he wrapped his arms around her as well and rested his head in the crook of Y/N’s neck. Y/N glanced at him in surprise at how quickly he relaxed in her embrace but smiled. Her arms tightened around him, smiling at the familiar warmth of his embrace.
The unspoken words of “I love you” were stuck in both of their throats, yet pushed it down so as to not break the peaceful atmosphere of the hug. Xiao found that all of the yelling and screaming of the voices within his head would quiet down while Y/N found warmth and comfort on a lonely night. Neither wished to let go so they didn’t, enjoying the peace in each others’ presence.
It was unfortunate that the peace they found in each other would disappear as fast as they had first discovered it.
-----------------
Y/N was feeling great and energetic, but that mood quickly went sour as she collapsed. Kneeling on the floor, a series of loud coughs shook her body. As her hand drew away from her mouth, Y/N's eyes widened in shock at the sight of red liquid, dribbling down her palm. She was unable to think further about it as her arms gave out, falling on her side with the cold tile.
People around her panicked, yelling for healers, doctors, anyone that could help her. Their yells were quickly drowned out though, as Y/N succumbed to sleep.
The week that passed was nothing but a blur to her. Only remembering different people doing different things to her. They tried speaking to her, asking her about how she felt. Y/N could only mutter incomprehensible words in reply.
As the middle of the second week arrived, the healers and doctors deemed that she was beyond saving. Her friends came to see her, although Y/N could barely pay attention to them as her vision blurred. 
Before the healers and doctors retreated back to their offices riddled with guilt, they provided Y/N with painkillers, hoping that it would save her from further pain. As they closed the doors, they could hear the pitiful girl mutter out one word, 
"...Xiao..."
The door closed with a loud echo and Y/N succumbed to sleep once more.
Y/N awoke to a hesitant and rough, yet gentle, touch to her forehead. She could recognize that touch from anywhere after countless hugs despite the warnings. She leaned into his touch. The touch of the one she found herself growing to love. Y/N opened her eyes slowly, meeting the familiar golden eyes of Xiao. She smiled weakly, softly whispering his name.
He lifted his hand, a bitter and heartbroken expression crossing his face. He bit his lower lip before he found himself revealing all of his guilt to the frail one under him.
"Why...why must a foolish mortal like you continue to be around me…? You are only like this because your soul cannot handle being around adepti like me…I told you that, yet you continue to be near me, and now, here you are, dying."
He drew his hand away, the radiating warmth of his fading away. Y/N weakly reached for his hand, grasping it weakly. "...I stayed, beside you because, because I… I love you, Xiao," they whispered.
Xiao's jaw tensed, "Don't be foolish, us adepti would never be able to understand you mortals' emotions."
Instead of pouting like they normally would, Y/N simply laughed weakly, "You're right… but that doesn't... stop me from loving you, Xiao…"
Xiao growled quietly, and sharply took back his hand from the weak grip of Y/N, turning around to the window to leave. Barely getting more than five steps away, he heard a large collision to the floor. Whipping around in alarm, he saw Y/N attempting to sit up.
Without realizing it, Xiao took a few large strides, kneeling down next to them and helping them up. Although as soon as his hand had come into their sight, they quickly grasped his hand. Slowly lifting their head up, Xiao was taken aback to see tears falling down their cheeks. Before he could scold them, Y/N weakly began to speak.
"It's… it's fine, if you...if you don't like me back… but please, please don't leave me alone," They rested their head against Xiao's chest, clinging to his shirt now, "Please, please don't let me die all alone again…"
Xiao was tempted to take their hands off of his shirt but was taken aback at their last sentence. Although confused, he gave in after a few minutes of silence, awkwardly resting his hands on top of their head and back as Y/N cried into his chest. He didn't understand what they meant, but it didn't matter. Because he's known for a long time by now that he could never say no to Y/N.
“...You’re a foolish mortal, Y/N,” he gruffly whispered as Y/N calmed down. They froze at the whisper of their name coming from his lips, realizing it was the first time Xiao has ever said their name. Finally processing what he had said, Y/N smiled weakly.
“I guess I am.”
Xiao shifted and maneuvered their body so that he was holding them in his arms. He stood up slowly, and placed them back into their bed, tucking them in. Y/N allowed themself to soak in the gentleness and comfort of Xiao’s touch.
They turned to their side, resting their right hand on top of Xiao’s hand. He flinched at their touch but made no move to remove his hand from theirs. Her eyes shifted from their hands to his golden eyes as he stared outside the window. Xiao’s golden eyes were always beautiful, but the beauty couldn’t hide the spark of sadness and guilt in his eyes. Y/N wanted to wish those emotions in his eyes away, wishing that she could’ve made her wish about wanting him to always be happy instead of wanting more time with him. 
Y/N snapped out of her thoughts at the sound of Xiao’s voice, “...You should rest,” his eyes shifting to her own.
“...But-”
“Sleep. I will be here when you awake,”
Both of them knew Xiao was lying, a lie to bring her comfort in her final moments. 
Y/N wanted to stay awake, to continue being with Xiao for as long as she could. As she struggled to stay awake, Xiao shifted his hand and interlaced his fingers with hers.
“There’s nothing to fear, I will keep you safe while you sleep.”
Y/N wanted to argue, wanted to tell him that she’s not sleepy, but is unable to even speak as Xiao uses his free hand to close her eyes. “Geh-”
“Don’t fight and waste your energy, Y/N.”
Y/N used the last of her strength to force a pout but smiled at his awkward attempt of showing that he cared for her. Before allowing herself to slip into the depths of sleep, she whispered.
“I...I love you, Xiao.”
Xiao stayed quiet as the hand intertwined with his hand started to grow limp before falling out of his grasp completely. Tears were welling up in his eyes, but he refused to let them fall. The breathing and movement of her chest came to an eventual stop and he held back a hiccup. 
Xiao leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to the fading warm lips of the girl below him. He pulled away after a few seconds, whispering the three words she never got to hear. “I love you too… Y/N”
By the time the moon rose to its peak, the adepti was gone from the scene. The only evidence of his presence was the wet patches on the sheets and the qingxin flower that rested on the girl’s chest.
Xiao stood at the base of Dihua Marsh, watching the moon rise with a sad expression, before placing his mask on and disappearing from view.
-----------------
Venti finished his story with a beautiful but sad song note and the crowd before him had tears welling up in their eyes. Despite the sad note, they applauded him and tipped him with mora. As the crowd dispersed, a couple of children came up to him. “Venti! Venti! Why didn’t they get a happy ending?” they whined.
Venti smiled sadly, “Although those two didn’t have a happy ending, it doesn’t mean that the story ends there.”
“Does that mean the adepti will find someone else to love?”
Venti laughed, “I’m sure he will.”
Meanwhile, in Liyue, a floating pixie sneezed as she talked with her companion. 
“Paimon, are you sick?” her companion asked.
“Paimon never gets sick!” the pixie rebuked, resting her fists on her hips.
The companion simply laughed in response and Paimon pouted. The two were in Dihua Marsh near the Wangshu Inn as they spoke. Paimon quickly brought the both of them back to the previous topic, “Anyways, isn’t that Xiao over there?” and pointed in a direction.
The traveler looked in the direction Paimon was pointing at, seeing the familiar yaksha, sitting before a formation that looked similar to that of a grave.
“What is he standing in front of?” the traveler murmured as they observed the yaksha.
“How about we check it out?” Paimon suggested and the traveler nodded.
They approached the adepti but the traveler froze in their tracks as they noticed a slightly transparent figure next to Xiao. The figure was in the shape of a young woman, softly smiling down at the adepti.
Paimon also saw the figure, quickly freaking out, “Gah-! Is… is that a… a ghost?!”
The shrieks of fear from Paimon quickly alert the figure and Xiao. As Xiao turns around, the figure disappears, and Xiao sighs at the sight of the pair.
“You two. What are you doing here?”
“A-ah… we just saw you, so uh…” Paimon tried speaking but was still frozen in place after the sight of the figure.
The traveler sighed, before continuing for her, “And we wanted to see how you were doing.” 
Xiao sighed and crossed his arms, “You need not be concerned about that. But why were you shrieking?” The traveler and Paimon exchanged glances before replying, “Uh… well Paimon saw what looked like a… a ghost, next to you!”
“A ghost…?” Xiao echos, pondering over it, “...I see.”
“...Do you know that ghost, Xiao?” the traveler asked.
“...It’s not of any importance,” he replied and turned around, “I must get going now.”
Before the traveler or Paimon could ask, the yaksha disappeared in a cloud of smoke.
“Sheesh!” Paimon crossed her arms, “why is he so rude sometimes?!”
The traveler smiled at Paimon’s whining before turning to look at the makeshift construct before them. Paimon follows their gaze, “Oh! We should check that thing out! We might get some clues!”
“...I feel like we’re intruding on his privacy by doing this,” the traveler mumbled as they followed Paimon. They stopped in front of the formation, noticing very little of any unique details. As they observed it, the traveler froze, sensing a presence behind them. Sharply turning around, they saw the figure of the young woman once again. 
“Huh? Is something wr-” Paimon quickly cuts herself off with a shriek as she turns around, seeing the ghostly figure as well. She quickly floated over to the traveler, hiding behind them, quivering in fear.
Taking out their sword, the traveler got into a fighting stance but was interrupted as the figure’s mouth moved. Although unable to hear it immediately, the words it spoke floated upon the wind, reaching the ears of the traveler with a tickle.
“...Take care of Xiao, please…” it whispered with a sad smile.
The traveler stares in confusion but is unable to speak further as the figure fades away.
-----------------
*this isn’t an actual character in the game, I just searched up Chinese names and got this lol
Anyways I hope everyone likes this!
115 notes · View notes
yeojaa · 4 years
Text
( TEASER / nine to five. )
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When you spend five days a week, eight hours a day with someone, you’re bound to grow close.  You just hadn’t expected it to be this close. 
pairing.  lawyer!kth x it support f!reader.
genre + rating.  it’s gonna be a workplace rom-com, folks! general (for this teaser, anyway).  
tags / warnings.  technological ineptitude, flirtatious banter, idk. 
wc.  0.8k for this teaser. undetermined full story.
beta reader(s).  @hobi-gif​ because who else? i love you! 💕
author note.  i realised that despite tae being my #2, i... do not write nearly enough about him. so after the results of my milestone survey, y’all get this! 
— coming 19/12/20 !
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Kim Taehyung:  I’m losing my mind Kim Taehyung:  How do I sync this document again Kim Taehyung:  Tell me it’s not gone forever 
The message pops up on your screen, flashing orange in your taskbar until you click through to it.  You’re not surprised to see it, the familiar name bringing a smile to your face.  Smart as he could be, Kim Taehyung was absolutely hopeless when it came to technology, sending you more emails in a day than most people did in a week.  
IT Support:  Can you screen share?  I can take a look.
It’s your usual routine.  He somehow messes something up (either doesn’t save his brief or deletes an important document or has managed to completely muck up his web browser) and you come to the rescue.  It doesn’t matter that he doesn’t email you - makes it hard for you to track all the issues he has - but you don’t mind.  
The two of you have built a solid rapport over the last two years, bonded by his technological ineptitude and your endless patience.  
Kim Taehyung:  Can you pop over?
This isn’t out of the ordinary either.  (And you certainly don’t mind it.)
(You wouldn’t even deny it if someone asked - pointed out your soft spot for the honey-haired junior associate.  Everyone knows your firm has a habit of employing good-looking people.  It’s just a common known fact, something even echoed by other firms in the city.)
(Kim Taehyung exists in a league all his own though.  Makes even the best looking of associates look somehow less.  Like comparing your average California orange with those immaculate hundred dollar watermelons from Japan.)
IT Support:  Be right there.
He looks good today.  Better than good, actually.  The best he has in weeks, months.  (You’d argue today’s look rivals that one three-piece suit of his.  The green one that stands out among the sea of black and navy blues, that sets him even further apart.
“Knock, knock,”  you greet in place of actually knocking, slipping into the glass enclosure of his office.  
Relief floods his expression, trademark smile spreading like wildfire across his face.  It splits his expression in half - a Christmas gift unravelled to reveal neat white teeth.  “Thank God.”
He doesn’t even bother to move from his chair, simply rolling back to allow you access to his setup.  As always, it’s neat, looseleaf stacked together to the left, water bottle half empty and stationed beside his desk phone.  A familiar mug is pushed against the wall, drained of liquid.  (It’s the mug you’d gotten him on a whim last Christmas, tiny tiger emblazoned over white ceramic.)
“I don’t get how this is a regular occurrence for you, Tae.”  You have to give him a hard time - just a little bit - because he manages to lose his documents at least once a week.  
“Technology sucks,”  he retorts with a laugh, utterly unbothered as he scrolls through his phone.  He trusts you to do what you need, paying you no mind as he taps through news articles and catches up on social media.  
(One day, you’re going to set his background to a bee hive.)
“You game.  You love technology.”  
“Video games are different from this stuff.”  
“Or you just don’t want to learn.”
He meets your stare then, catches it over your shoulder.  “Why learn when I have you?”
With anyone else, you might be infuriated.  Bothered that you’ve got to waste precious time dealing with his baby IT issues when he could simply be a little more responsible.  (You’ve got an organisation of hundreds to manage, after all.  You can’t be taking time out of your day for things like this.)
(You won’t stop, though.  You never really say no to Taehyung.  He knows that.)
“One day, that’s going to bite you in the ass.”
“Is that a threat, ____?  I might have to report you to HR.”  There’s something sparkling in his eyes, a beacon that shines bright in the darkness and draws you in, past thickly lined lashes and asymmetrical lids.  You hold his stare for longer than you mean to, jaw working, mouth trembling from the laughter you hold back. 
(He knows as well as you that there’s far more either of you could be bringing to HR.  Stupid silly conversations you hold over Microsoft Teams, dumb pranks you’ve played on him since he’d ingratiated himself into your life upon his hiring two years ago, the almost kiss you’d shared at last year’s Christmas party when you’d both been waiting for cabs to sweep you home.)
(Maybe not the last one.  Your office has always had a surprisingly lenient policy with respect to workplace relationships.)
“Do it and I’ll tell them it was you that pirated that episode of Rick & Morty on work wifi.”
He’s scandalised then, eyes wide, hand laid over his chest as if you’ve mortally wounded him.  “You wouldn’t dare.” 
“Oh, wouldn’t I?”
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tag list.  @neverthefirstchoice​ @youwannabelostandnotbefound​ @snackhobi​ @codeinebelle​ @xjoonchildx​​
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imonthinice · 3 years
Text
The Criminal Psychology Majors, Jason Todd x Fem!Reader Part 12/?
Word Count: 4.4k
Author’s Note: Y/N - Your Name, A/N - Any Name (Your Best friend’s name)
God idk what i’m doing with this but i’m liking it lmao
next one might honestly be smut idk
Warnings: Violence, Swearing, Description of Blood, Gets heated, hints at trauma, no beta bitch we die like Jason Todd
(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9) (Part 10) (Part 11) (Part 12) (Part 13) (Part 14) (Part 15) (Part 16) (Part 17) (Part 18) (Part 19) (Part 20)
Y/N walked through the streets of Gotham, which were once bustling with people, but now were quiet with the occasional hooker, she had caught the city as an unlively hour, where it seemed to sleep the night away while the vigilantes of the area watched it like their lives depended on it. In some ways it did, the stories they would tell when being interviewed were horrific sometimes, but Y/N figured a decent amount of it was for dramatization, to keep the people of Gotham off of the streets to protect them all from it.
The question was always protect them from what, and they never answered. So, it never kept the people of Gotham at bay from the streets at night, and had Y/N’s car not been towed, she would have been driving home in the safe, secluded area of her car, not the vast wilderness of the streets of Gotham.
She looked up at the sky to see one of the virgate boys using a grappling hook to fly to the other building, which was such a sight to behold for someone who never witnessed a superhero beyond Superman at home. She wished and longed to know more about the vigilante, but didn’t dwell or dote on that man, because she didn’t need to.
Something told her that he was watching though, tracing every step she made to make sure she got home in one piece. She thought she was crazy, her life didnt matter more than anyone else in Gotham. He’s not following me, why would he? she thought, Even though I’m dating Jason Todd, they probably don’t know Jason, so my life doesn’t mean much more to them than any one of the hookers along this street. I’m overthinking it.
The walk home took two hours, she left Jason’s at 4am just to find herself back home at 6am, bright and early as the sun rose, ready to greet the day and all it had in store for everyone. But the things it had in store for Y/N was a class and if she was lucky, cuddling with Jason. Nothing more, nothing less.
She would open her front door, unscathed from the journey home, except maybe for a few callouses on her feet, it was the last time she wouldn't pay for more than a day of parking, that’s for sure. Heels were not the shoes you wanted for a two-hour walk home in the Autumn cold, but they were what she had.
She thought about what she was going to do next, and the first thought she had was to shower. Not because she needed to, but because she wanted to nurse the terrible headache she had and to think some things through. What she normally did in the shower.
She wanted so much more from so much of her life. the main offender of seemingly not being enough for her was Jason. Not because she didn’t want more, but because she craved more from him. He was injured, so she wouldn’t get much more rom him for the time being, and it stung a little for her. She just wanted him, maybe sexually, maybe in a more romantic setting or maybe just on her couch on a Thursday afternoon. It was all three of those options and she knew it.
She pulled out of the shower and looked at the time, 6:50am. Okay, she thought, little more time than I wanted to spend in the shower, but I guess the universe had different plans for me today. What else do you have for me, universe? And how much of you plan involves Jason?
She would open her phone after quickly getting dressed. While she still cared for her appearance, she didn’t want to dress like she owned a law firm every day, so she didn’t. Just black jeans and a black top and she felt like a million bucks. 
Just some quick outfit inspo. I like doing these a lot. I think fashion is funky :))
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Artemis had sent her a message asking where she was at around 4am, she wondered why the time, but she then remembered that Artemis’ boyfriend worked with Dick Grayson, who was Jason’s brother, who worked most nights until radical hours of the night. The chances that he saw her on her two-hour walk home was high, but the chances that that had also made it back to Jason was higher. She knew she was in for it.
Hey sorry, I was at Jason’s. Fell asleep in his arms the whole shebang. And yeah, that was me who screamed the yo momma joke at the press. It was super childish, I know, but I don’t care. Those fucks are sucking my life force out of me and harassing my boyfriend, even your boyfriend.
She would then look at the articles calling her a gold digger and worth-nothing childish insulter of the press. She laughed. If the press wanted a fight from her, she was more than willing to oblige and load the canons. 
She didn’t know how to fight back that well, since it was a mainly verbal fight, and she barely even knew how to  fight physically, hence all the running and non-confrontational arguments she had had to the press.
And like fucking clockwork, Jason texted her.
Did you walk home alone or are my brothers lying bastards?
I walked. I knew someone saw me, fuck.
Why did you walk home? I thought you drove here?
I did, but we spent more than 12 hours together Jason. I didn’t buy enough hours, suddenly my car was being towed.
You could have asked for a ride home from Alfred! He would have in a heartbeat.
I was going to! But  I got distracted and it all became a blur and suddenly I was part of the way home in the dark by myself!
What if you had gotten hurt?
Well, I saw one of the vigilantes of the city on the rooftops, I’m sure if I screamed they would have seen me. They always do see that stuff.
So, your car got towed huh?
Yeah, I don’t know when I’ll be able to pay it off. It’s not exactly like money my parents give me should go to my car getting towed because I got fucked over by seeing my boyfriend. 
You’ll figure it out. Sorry about the car, that’s got to suck fucking ass.
You think? I’m stuck taking the fuckin’ subway till I get my car back. I hate the subway, too many people. Far too many people. Too many eyes. It gets stressful really quickly. Might just walk every where honestly, I can’t deal with the eyes of strangers.
But you’re a C-list celebrity.
Internet is different. I can just block the bad eyes and move on with my life, you should see my block list now that some people are connecting my name to the girl who flipped off the press, thank god Twitter has a fuckin block feature.
You should really just meet my family so you don’t have to run away before they get home, would probably cause you a lot less financial stress, Y/N.
I’ll think about it.
You should think a little harder about it. I don’t want you to get your car impounded ‘cause you’re seeing me, why did you even park in pay-to-park?
Did you not see the massive mob trying to get to you? It was impossible for me to even try to pull into the driveway. Hence why I’m being insulted, you know, ‘cause I yelled at the press to get them to leave me alone. I fucking hate the press, you’re stabbed, severely injured last time they got information, and they’re harassing me, asking me what I like to do on the weekends.
Fucking vultures. Yeah, I’ve seen that. I’ve read the articles. But that’s the press for you, absolute trash and spitting bullshit in everyway.
Fucking hate the press, that’s for damn sure. Despise them. I won’t ever change that, even if, knock on wood, we break up.
Praying we don’t break up so I can see you lose your shit at the press when you’re bored.
She would get up to go make some coffee, since it was closer to 7:20am and if her roommate woke up, she could just tell her to get up anyway.
The press can suck my dick. she said.
You have a dick?
Oh yeah. Massive. 20ft long. It probably won’t even fit all the vultures.
Oh my god, that’s not as big as mine.
lmfao is it now?
Oh yeah.
Nice.
Anyway, my brothers are staying home from school today,  I think they’re making me play Resident Evil 8 with them? You know that game?
Of course. Everyone in that game is infinitely hot.
Are you bi? 
I don’t know. Haven't thought that far ahead to actually label myself. I just like people. Sometimes it’s men, sometimes it’s women. But you have to agree when you see them all. That game came out when I was still in  high school, so I’ve played the entire thing. My phone background is actually one of the characters.
Which one?
I’ll show you if I come over tonight.
My brothers might be in my room, though.
Okay, but, RE8 is an amazing game. So, worth it.
You won’t meet them normally but I pull out a game you love and you’re down?
I’m very easy to convince.
You still have notes to write when you come over though.
Oh yeah, I was probably going to have to come over both ways, just because I need those notes and you do too.
Do you not own a printer?
I barely even own a laptop, I’m waiting for my old one to come in the mail. 
How do you even manage?
With a whole lot of will and spite, anything is possible.
And that’s when her discord group chat @’ed her. She was on Do Not Disturb because she was Jason, and apparently they missed her.
Y/N! C’mere. One said.
Yes? Whatduhya want nerds?
We’ve decided to hold a fake internet wedding between you and Christopher. Another said.
A what.
We’re getting married!
Sometimes I wish I never left Metropolis and then I remember you fucks live there. Why are we doing this? You do know I have a boyfriend right? She asked them.
I don’t know, we’re bored and we miss you. We can have a bachelorette party in Gotham, if you want.
I’m this close to going back on DND.
The group chat was made way back when they had all first met in grade 9 and had been active ever since. They all had stayed in the city when they graduated though, but since Y/N received a scholarship, fully paid for, she took the opportunity and jumped.
They were some of her closest friends, even if they lived in a different city to her now, even if they were all busy with school, even if she was busy with school and a boyfriend, A lot of her life wouldn’t be complete without her crack friends in her hometown.
They had all ben partying like crazy while she was gone, and if she wasn’t so hung up in her own life, she’d probably be down there with them. 
Before you do, can you please explain why you’re screaming at the press, lmao.
Because fuck the press, dude. Why else? 
What did they do to you?
Have you seen the recent articles?
That’s true.
She laughed and finished her coffee. Jason had not responded yet, she assumed his brothers were either checking on him or they had started the game. It was around 8am when A/N finally left her room.
“I thought you were staying with Jason?”
“I was, but then I remembered he has like 9 siblings and I’m not about to meet them all. Then I walked home.”
“You walked?”
“Car got towed.”
“Fuck, can you afford the bill? I can’t.”
“Nope.”
“Guess we’re going to take the subway for a while, huh.”
She sighed and put her cup in the sink, “At least you don’t have school to go to and your lover comes to meet you, I have shit to do and places to be,” she frowned, “Inconvenient.”
“Could you borrow money from Jason’s dad?”
“I don’t borrow money from family, it’s hard enough for me to accept the money my parents send me.”
“I know it is, when’s your class?”
“3pm, I’ll be leaving at 12pm though, because the subway is unreliable.”
“This is going to be a hard hit for us.”
“Well, it’s not like it’s fucking your credit. Mine’s tanking.”
“You’ll pull through it.”
-------------------------------------------
She got onto the subway at 12:30pm. She really hated the way it was running. The people, the faces, the staring eyes of unwanted attention. People knew who she was and she hated it. She didn’t like the attention, she just liked the fucking with people. She wanted to get off the subway the minute she got on.
She eventually couldn’t take it and got off a few stops away, there was still a substantial walk towards the college, but she knew it would be. She even brought a leather jacket with her so that she could walk if she couldn’t take it anymore.
And there she was, in the busy streets of Gotham, walking to her college. Barely aware of the people who did stare at her, because she just kept walking, lost in her thought but aware of the people in her trail, the cross walks and the lights she was waiting for occasionally. She just kept walking until Artemis met up with her,
“Hey! I didn’t know you were walking to school today,” Artemis said.
“Oh! I didn’t want to, my car got towed though.”
“Your car got towed? That sucks so much. Well, we’re going the same way, so I’ve decided I’m going to walk with you, you get no say.”
“Of course. I was going to ask if you wanted to,” she laughed, “It’s more fun with a friend anyway, Art.”
“So, how are things with you and Jason, I’m legally obliged to ask as one of his friends.”
“Well, we made it official if that’s the kind of thing you want to hear,” she laughed again, “I’m sure it’s the answer Dick will eat up.”
“You’re right about that one. Dick’s a sucker for a romantic story, you should write one, since you write. He’d probably read it all.”
“Well, that would be fun, but I still don’t have my laptop.”
“You could use Jason’s?” Artemis suggested..
“Nah. It’ll be fine,” she said, “I’ll manage.”
“Aren’t you collecting notes for him for your psychology class?”
“I am, it’s not like he can go anywhere. I actually told him he’d need to walk eventually so that it’s not a learning curve when he’s healed.”
“That’s what all of us are telling him too, he’s a stubborn man, good luck with that one,” Artemis laughed, “He’s always been the stubborn friend. Worse than Will, actually, and Will is really bad with being stubborn.”
“It’s fine,” she laughed, “If you asked any of my Metropolis friends they’d say the same about me.”
“I bet you were quite the wild child in your heyday back in your city,” Artemis laughed, “I hate Metropolis.”
“Who doesn’t? It’s so crowded.”
“Uh, Clark doesn’t. He thrives there, no idea why, he grew up in Smallville. If anyone should be uncomfortable with Metropolis it should be the small-city country boy, but I guess it’s his thing.”
“I forget you know everyone.”
“We know a lot of people, are you’re slowly being let into our massive circle of very well-known people. Welcome to the group, I guess,” she laughed, “You'll either hate or love the fame that comes from this.”
“Well, if its paparazzi and press, I think I’ll hate it.”
“I can promise you right now that it’s not all paparazzi and press, we haven’t been bothered today, probably because we are on the move.”
“You shouldn’t say that, you’ll jinx it.”
“I know a lot about not jinxing it, but that’s a story for another time,” Y/N noticed that when Artemis said this her eyes glazed over and she looked upset.
“You don’t ever have to talk to me about something you’re not ready to talk about,” Y/N reassured her.
“Hey, the trauma makes me funny.”
“Two can play that game.”
They would ramble on for the rest of the walk to their college. Nothing really of substance, just getting to know each other further. She was glad she found a friend in Artemis, it would have sucked if the two of them didn’t get along, but with each word they exchanged, they had so much fun.
She even told Artemis about that time she played Katherine Howard in her school’s budget play of Six - The Musical. She was proud of the riffs she was able to do, but she didn’t talk about it often. She was never the type of brag about her achievements, no matter how amazing they were.
But Artemis and Y/N parted ways and Y/N went to her class and wrote the same, boring, scribbly and barely legible notes. She figured eventually she’d need nicer handwriting, but did she want to work on it? No.
When she finished, she saw Artemis and who she could only assume to be Wally, at Artemis’ class doors. She waved to Artemis, before Artemis called her over.
“Y/N! Hey, I would ask how class is, but this is Wally,” she gestured to the red-head boy beside her, and Y/N held out her hand to shake Wally’s.
“Hi, Wally.”
“Y/N. It’s nice to meet you since Jason can’t shut up about you and my girlfriend likes you a lot.”
“Well that's sweet of you Artemis. You’re just so in love with me,” Y/N joked.
“Girl. You know it,” Artemis joked back.
“You two already have a close bond? That’s impressive,” Wally said, “Never seen anyone win over any of my friends this quickly,” he muttered.
They joked for a little while longer, just getting to know Wally before she had to go, she had to get to Jason’s.
The walk was a while away, so she went and sat on a park bench for a minute to check her phone, Jason had texted her.
Hey baby, are you coming over?
I am, yes. I actually just met Wally.
You met Wally and I wasn’t there to see it? C’mon.
Artemis introduced us! Go yell at her.
Oh. Never mind. I won’t do that.
Ha! Scared of her?
Maybe a little, she can be scary, okay?
You can’t tell but I’m laughing at you.
Dhmu.
That’s fine, I’ll just go hang out with Alfred and not you. He seems like he would be spiteful like me.
That’s unfair.
I thought you said don’t hit me up?
Fuck.
Checkmate.
I am upset.
No you’re not.
No I’m not.
She would walk down the street further, maybe within a couple steps to reach the Manor, when a man dragged her into an alleyway. She yelped.
“Uh, hello? Can I help you?” she asked, pretending she wasn’t terrified.
“How much would Bruce give me for you?” the attacker mumbled before he tried to knock her to the ground, but she had another plan.
He grabbed her, put his face close to hers, and she head-butted him, he would stumble back, and she started running to the Manor.
“Come here you fucking bitch!” he screamed. She could feel her nose bleeding as she ran and ran, the security saw her and pulled her into the gateway before drawing their guns and urging her to run to the steps of the Manor.
And she ran. The security at the door saw her and let her in, and yelled for Alfred.
“What is this nonsense, oh,” Alfred paused when he saw the blood running out of Y/N’s nose, “Miss Y/N, what happened to you?” he asked before grabbing her hand and pulling her into the entry-way bathroom and opening a first-aid kit.
“Okay so, what happened was I was walking to the Manor because my car got towed right? And this fucking bastard dude pops out from an alleyway and pulls me into it, asks some bullshit about how much Bruce would pay for me, when he grabbed me and tried to knock me down, when I head-butted him and started running,” she said, completely unphased.
Alfred didn’t respond to her and started to stop the bleeding when Bruce called for him, “In the entry-way bathroom, Master Wayne!” he answered.
Bruce came around the corner and saw Alfred was already tending to Y/N, “Well, this is the event where I meet my son’s girlfriend, when she is bleeding and running from a strange man in an alleyway.”
“Heh, sorry,” she said and outstretched her hand to shake his, “It’s nice to finally meet you, Bruce.”
“I can tell you’re going to be quite the addition to this household,” he said as he took her hand and shook it, “As long as you’re okay.”
“I’m okay.”
“That’s good. I guess you can’t get mad at Jase for being a reckless man now.”
“I really can’t.”
“Alright, you should be good, Miss Y/N.”
“Thank you, Alfred. But you really didn’t have to.”
“I’ve been taking care of 5 boys and 3 girls since most of them were little, Miss Y/N. A little blood is really no big deal for me to handle.”
“That’s obvious.”
“You can go see the boys now, they’re going to ask you though,” Bruce said.
“I know.”
She walked to Jason’s room, hoping that he wouldn’t have all of his siblings in the room, he did though.
“Hey, Y/N- what the fuck happened to you?” Jason exclaimed when she opened the door.
“Oh great, all your siblings are here. Anyway, I guess,” she paused, taking in a big breath so she could run through the events quickly, “So I was walking here ‘cause my car got towed, right? When some fucking bastard man grabs me and yanks me into an alleyway and starts going off about how much Bruce will pay him to get me back or something,” she paused again, “And when he tried to knock me down by getting really close and personal to my face, like an idiot I should add, I head-butted him.”
“You did what?’
“I’m not done yet, met your dad when I actually had blood running out of my nose because that's just my fucking luck. Okay, now you can be disappointed in me,” she joked.
“I will say again, you did what?”
“Something stupid?” she said.
“You could say that again, my god, what went through your head?”
“Uh, nothing. Just survival. Fight or flight but I head-butted a man, and hi, everyone.”
“Hi, Y/N, I’m Dick,” Dick said, “You clearly are meant for Jason,” he joked, “That's something he would do.”
“Don’t encourage her, Dick!”
Stephanie got up and greeted her, “You know, Y/N, I always wanted a crazy sister,” she joked, “I’m Stephanie, the black-haired girl is Cass, and the red-head is Barbara.”
“Me too,” Cass hopped onto the joke.
“It’s something else when you meet the girl your brother is dating after she head-butted a man, apparently,” Y/N laughed, “I know it’s far-fetched-”
“Not really,” Tim cut her off, “You know Jason protected Will when they were attacked?”
“That’s Tim, by the way,” Dick said.
“So you can’t yell at me for head-butting a man!” Y/N joked at Jason while going to sit beside him, he slinged an arm around her shoulder and leant his head into her head.
“Well, you seem like a nice enough girl,” Barbara said, “Take away the reckless behavior, and you are lovely.”
“That is valid, to be honest. Not exactly the way you want to meet your brother’s girlfriend.”
“You think?” Jason asked, sarcastically.
“Ha ha.”
“See, she thinks I’m funny, why can’t you fucks?”
Y/N laughed and then asked Dick, who was playing RE8 at the time, staring at the photo of Donna Bentiveno, “She’s cute, isn’t she, Dick?”
“Have I been staring?”
“Let’s just say Angie is probably very pissed at you.”
“Oh! Whoops. There’s a point to this, I forgot.”
“I don’t blame you, I remember forgetting there was a point and the little bitch devil doll would attack you.”
“Language.”
“Oh no, you’re lame. Gross.”
“Excuse me?” Dick asked as the rest of the room erupted in laughter.
“Do you guys see why I like her now?” Jason asked.
“Uh no, she’s mean,” Dick said.
“You’re going to die if you don’t start paying attention, Dick,” Y/N said.
“Oh!” and he died.
“And that kids, is why we listen to the person who’s 100%’ed the game.”
------------------------------
Y/N and Jason would spend hours with his brothers and sisters until the sun started to set and they all scattered to their own rooms to  do their own things. you can’t keep a lot of kids in one room for so long.
Once everyone left, Y/N placed her hands on Jason and kissed him, she was actually able to be laid on his pillow, he was able to pin her to the bed. And they did just that. He was on top of her, using his one arm to prop himself up and using his other hand to touch her face.
Her hands found their way into his hair like they always did, she found a lot of joy in playing with his hair. Their tongues danced together, they never fought or anything, they just enjoyed each other when Jason let out a small moan and she let out a small laugh.
“Keep it in your pants, Tiger,” she joked, “You’re not fully healed.”
“You literally smashed your face into another man but I can’t moan when I kiss you?”
“Because I know you want more.”
“Hell yeah I do,” he said as he went back for more, actually using his strength to keep her to the bed, but she didn’t protest this time.
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sugasugawarau · 3 years
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Synopsis: You knew that Kageyama Tobio was not your soulmate - and that was why you could not help but succumb to the waves that lulled you away from the shores of fate + semi inspired by Eyes Blue like the Atlantic by sistaprod ft. Subvrbs. Also part of @yacoka‘s collab <3 (2.4k words)
Warnings/notes: Some angst near the end, soulmate red string au, gender neutral reader. No beta we die like Rex Lapis so if I ever feel like it this may be edited at some point asdahdhj idk LMAO
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— Prologue
There are as many reasons to fall in love with Kageyama Tobio as there are fractals made by the ocean’s breath as the world inhales and exhales, flourishes and wilts, conquers and surrenders. It would not even be a hyperbole to say that in number, they remain unrivalled to the plethora of stars that stain the waves with their reflection and run deeper than the scars of lightyears that paint lines from Cassiopeia to Aquila.
After all, he is the darkest hue of navy blue.
Determination that moves in an orchestra of thundering waves, brandishing on its crest an admirable recklessness, heeding not for the need to call upon courage or confidence; polished instinct that endued one with the same awestruck feeling when facing the beautifully suffocating obscurity of their life in this world, a mixture of raw fear and the need to impart a piece of their soul in everything they do despite how fragile the skin shielding their heart is.
But the best part of loving Kageyama was that you were not - or will ever become - destined to be.
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— Shoreline
Red.
It was a word that was always thrown about in conversations, the fuel to the catastrophes that were high school gossip chains, and the colour that held the mangled passion of the string of fate. Garishly predestined and easily tangled by unnecessary complications of jealousy and confusion, it is needless to say that you hated red with more passion than the love it emptily promises with a title as shallow as soulmates.
That was not to say you despised love. There was nothing wrong with love itself, a fact which you had decided firmly since the spry age of four years old. What was wrong was its combination with soulmates: a rigid formula, nothing like the walks with your grandmother on the bright summer roads littered with flowers as her calloused palm gently guided you, or the laughter you shared with your friends after a long run in the rain, hugging each other goodbye at the end of the day despite the muddy battle scars covering your arms and legs from falling countless times.
Your mind could have kept you engaged in your internal debate for longer if you were left to your own devices, but an awkward cough and the sound of a desk shifting towards your right brought you out of your reverie, bringing your drifting thoughts back to the classroom surrounding you.
Perhaps your look of confusion came off as hostile, for the dark-haired boy now sitting next to you looked at you with a slight glare that felt forced, an automatic effort to defend himself.
His tone of voice only confirmed your unconsciously off-putting expression as he gruffly stated, “Group project.” to explain his sudden presence.
“Oh. What’s the topic on?”
An awkward silence had ensued while you tried to calmly collect yourself by gathering a handful of pens from your pencil case after being caught in your heinous crime of not paying attention to your English teacher.
“You don’t know?” Came his reply, causing you to occupy yourself by finding extreme interest in a lime green highlighter you did not have any recollection of ever buying.
“Well, I clearly wasn’t paying attention.”
“You… weren’t?” The slight intonation in his tone was a stark contrast to your initial impression of him and caused you to look up at him, almost letting out an amused snort at his befuddled frown to which he furrowed his brows and shot a challenging “What?” in return. Realizing that he was genuine in believing that you were deep in thought over the lesson, a burst of laughter blossomed past your lips, attracting a few odd looks from your nearby peers and an abashed glare from him.
You paused to take a breath, a repetition of sorries stumbling their way out to appease the onslaught of nagging you thought would follow shortly. Instead, all the boy muttered was a simple, “You’re weird.”
“Sure, but that’s beside the point - were you paying any attention?”
“No.”
Seeing your face contorted to stop yet another bout of laughter to roam its way into the world as a result of his bluntness, he shot out of his seat and announced that he would go ask the teacher, unable to hide his puzzlement as he walked away. He would come to regret this decision when the teacher began to lecture him, earning more heads to turn his way as she scolded him before sending him off dismissively with a sticky note that you assumed had your now long-awaited topic.
Before you could thank him for enduring what could only be one of the worst things to experience as a high school student, he wordlessly handed the piece of paper to you and sat down.
“Kageyama, right? With this project, you’ll have me to thank for the A we’ll get,” you promised confidently, to which he responded with a halfhearted “Good luck.”
If he had been a close friend, you would have taken the small textbook on his desk and gently hit his head at his evident lack of belief in his capabilities, but settled for a clipped sigh instead. After all, you did not want to further contribute to the premature wrinkles Kageyama was making himself prone to with all of the brow-furrowing he did.
This is going to be one long month.
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— Largo
Like how the ocean reluctantly caresses the sleeping shore as it wakes from its slumber during low tide, your lives slowly flowed together.
During the first week of your group project with him, he would greet you curtly, and on a few occasions, you would have short conversations about the outline of your book review.
And this singular week was enough to show that there was some (okay, maybe a lot) of backing behind the teacher’s warning about Kageyama’s dismal grade.
While you flipped through A Midsummer Night’s Dream, you would catch the all-too-familiar confusion on his face - it was written on his features so blatantly that it was almost comical, as if taken straight out of a shonen manga.
“You know if you’re stuck you can ask me for help.”
A slight scowl greeted you over the hedge of pages he had been burying himself in, followed by a biting, “Who said I need help?”
You could only roll your eyes in return.
“Please drop the prideful act. You've been glazing over the same page for about twenty minutes now."
After a few seconds of grumbling did he finally comply, and with your explanations, his bookmark was now comfortably sandwiched between the double-digit page numbers right as the bell rang. You hummed in satisfaction before returning your desk to your original spot, expecting him to rush out along with everyone else - so to turn around and see him still standing there was a bit of a surprise.
“Did you still need help with the last few lines?” You settled on asking, not really wanting to plague your break with work but offering nonetheless. Thankfully, he shot a look of disdain at the play as he stuffed it away haphazardly in his bag.
“No, I just wanted to,” he trailed off a bit, the tinge of red on his ears an out-of-character detail you decided not to comment on, “to say thanks, I guess.”
You smiled softly at the unexpected gesture of appreciation before giving him a teasing nudge which he stiffened slightly at.
“Well, I can’t have you bringing down my mark now can I?”
“Nevermind, I take it back.”
“Too bad, I have those words of gratitude stored nicely in my hippocampus already.”
From there, tutoring sessions with Kageyama became the norm, with you sometimes asking about his volleyball team after he had let slip that you were a better teacher than Tsukishima (something you would be sure to smugly share if you ever met the infamous middle blocker).
By the end of the month, all of the hard work - and a couple of all-nighters due to procrastination - brought forth an A as you had promised.
Even your relentless teasing, varying between “I told you so!” to “You owe me at least three meat buns now” which were all met with an annoyed “Shut up”was not enough to dim the smile he tried to hide.
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— High tide
With the force of nature, the tide rose without warning; from goodnight texts to confessing to the first “I love you” uttered shyly between shameless souls, neither of you was sure where things began, but found comfort in such liberating chaos.
In times where he needed to be held, you were there, and the insecurities you would hide, he would turn beautiful. And today happened to be a day for both as you stared absentmindedly at his bedroom ceiling.
“Hey Tobio, what’s your take on soulmates?”
“We’ve been together for almost a year now, what do you think?” he put his phone down and turned towards you, “I could care less about soulmates or whatever else is worrying you enough to make your overthinking go into overdrive.”
“Rude, have some respect, it’s my profession after all,” you shoved him playfully as he snorted in reply, “It’s just... If your string ever appeared, wouldn't you rather-”
“Listen Y/n, did you know that I’m scared of dying but I’m even more terrified of the thought of living without you? I could never and don’t ever want to replace you. People can talk all they want, if I could find a love like ours without something as stupid as a piece of string then I don’t need a soulmate.”
“Really?”
With a flick to your forehead, he huffed in fake exasperation. “Really.”
“Huh, who knew you could be so romantic.”
“It's not romantic, I'm just being honest, idiot.”
“You sure could make do with some more lessons on manners and social tact. It's too bad you can't pick up on those as well as volleyball drills.”
Before he could retaliate, you enveloped him in a familiar embrace, burrowing your face into the large hoodie he donned.
It was effortless, his company.
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— Ebbing away
But it wasn’t all romantic.
You fiddled with your phone as you waited for any sign that Kageyama had seen your messages, the pack of meat buns you had bought on a whim no longer letting off their fragrant steam. You knew he had an important match coming up against Seijoh, that he had to prove himself, that he lives hungrily and foolishly like no other. But his missing presence went beyond volleyball practice, keeping his distance from you even when he was right by your side.
Why am I stuck reminiscing about the past when we still have each other?
Why does every step I take towards him feel as if I’m only drawing myself farther away from him?
A carousel of rhetorical questions spun around your head as you stopped your slow pace towards Karasuno. You were not blind; you knew the rumours and dirty looks from your classmates were not something anyone could be immune to, that he tried his best to spend less time around you at school. The only conclusion you could reach was that he was ashamed: either of you, or the fact that he had begun to see his red string and could not bring himself to face you.
Ignoring the urge to let yourself cry, you glanced down at your phone once more, 8:30PM flashed across your eyes, followed by your empty notifications. There was no way he’d still be practicing at the school now and even if he was, you doubted he would be happy to see you. Maybe - no, definitely - it would be better to head home, and maybe stop by the convenience store you had bought the now misshapen meat buns from to get some tea and call it a night.
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If only fate did not reciprocate your hatred towards it.
Stepping into the small store, the first person you are greeted with is none other than Kageyama Tobio. The whole situation was like a fever dream, and you would do anything to be able to let out a laugh and have him call you weird all over again. But all you could bring yourself to do was blearily stare at him.
He turned around quickly, as if not wanting to be caught before ushering you outside. “Y/n? Why are you here?” he hissed, a stiffness that he had recently adopted to his body language that you were now all too familiar with.
“What? Am I not allowed to go into any and all convenience stores I please?” You challenged, a part of you waiting for him to care enough to see how tired you were, to actually look you in the eyes for the first time in weeks.
He did not, opting to turn his head towards the door again.
“It’s not that, it’s just-”
“Just what? Tobio, what is up with you lately?” A pause ensued, broken by a small hiccup as your eyes dampened - God, how much more pathetic could you get than crying in front of some dingy convenience store - “Do you even love me anymore?”
How odd. You thought that by finally uttering the final question that had been dancing around your mind free to the world, you would feel better. That he would reassure you, as he always had.
Not that he would at last meet your gaze, grabbing your hand to look at the red string wrapped around your ring finger.
The taste of tears and Kageyama’s eyes as blue as the Atlantic all felt miles away from you as an orange-haired boy stepped out of the store, his mouth dropping into an o-shape when he saw that his string led to you, a disheveled mess arguing with his teammate.
“Kageyama…You knew? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I didn’t want to face the reality of it all. Because I was afraid of losing you.”
“But I wouldn’t leave you-”
“I know you wouldn’t but you should!” Kageyama’s furrowed brows, once a quirk of his that you were fond of, now elicited a sick turmoil in your stomach, “You have to. Please.”
You wanted to yell at him, let the blood pour out of any and all raw words of anger and hurt.
Who was he to decide what was good for you, to throw you at some boy you never met before, to give up?
Then again, you could never say you would not have done the same for him if you knew he had found his soulmate despite the sweet words he had told you so long ago.
So you let yourself go. For his sake.
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arsenicpanda · 3 years
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coming from an amateur writer, do you have any tips on writing smut?
ngl, I’m an amateur myself, having not finished much smut and still not written the actual act of sex from the perspective of one of the people experiencing it. So idk why you came to me, but I am flattered. I'm not great at advice on the act of writing, but I’ll do my best to talk about process and shit.
1. Read smut. Read lots of it, read varying qualities and varying lengths and as soft-core and hard-core as you’re up for. Read it for fun, just taking it in, and then read it with a critical eye. What works? What doesn’t? Are there any tropes (general, character-specific, or ship-specific) that you like or dislike? Why? What’s especially hot? What makes you cringe? What kind of language do you like? And so on and so forth. Ask questions and answer them.
2. What’s your setup? Like, which characters, which ship, which universe? If it’s an AU, how does the AU change things from canon (especially important if you’re doing ABO, which is its own can of worms I’m not getting into here)? What’s the relationship between your characters and what’s the situation in which they fuck?
3. How do your characters feel about sex in general and with respect to the ship you’re writing? How horny are they in general, for the other character(s) in the ship, and in this specific situation? What are they into and not into? What are their previous experiences (or lack thereof) with sex and romance? What experience do the characters have with each other? Are there specific experiences they might remember and use or is there certain knowledge they do or don’t have about their partner(s) (For established ships, I like to mention previous experiences and knowledge of what the POV character’s partner(s) are into as a way to show that there is real history there. For unestablished ships, I like to include that figuring out process some and the reactions to experiencing stuff for the first time, either in general or within the specific ship, to show that newness of the relationship. Maybe there’s mention of a certain preference the POV character already knows about, or maybe the POV character makes note of a preference they learn during the fic. Stuff like that.)? How loud are they during sex? Are there any sex acts that this ship would engage in no matter what (e.g. I maintain all smut with Jughead that isn’t a quickie should include him giving some amount of oral sex)? How many times can they orgasm? How sensitive are they? What’s their refractory period? And so on, and so forth. Note: once you come up with answers for this section for your ship once, the next time you write smut for them, you’ll really only have to make adjustments according to the universe you’re in, so that’s nice.
4. What kind of fic are you writing? Is it pwp? Smut within plot? A character or relationship piece? Basically, are there any arcs to get through, what are they, and how are they going to relate to the smut? How explicit is the smut? What language do you want to use to refer to genitals and orgasms and such? What POV are you writing in? How much do your characters talk? How “realistic” are things? Are they practicing safe sex, including safe oral sex?
5. What’s actually happening? I like to plan out a smut scene ahead of time so I know how it starts, where they are physically, what the characters are doing (hand, mouth, genital, etc location and movement), how one sex act moves into another, what can be seen/heard/felt/etc based on POV, what’s physically possible at all times, if there are any accessories or toys I need to explain them owning and where they’re kept before the smut, and how it ends. It also helps me make sure the smut doesn’t significantly overlap with something I’ve already written or am planning to write. I also write an outline, which you don’t have to do, but does help if you ever go weeks or months between working on it because then when you come back you don’t have to strain to remember what the plan was. You can also just go with the flow and just write, but definitely keep location of body parts and what the POV character can actually see/hear/etc (for example, if your POV character is blindfolded or bent over, they can’t describe their partner’s face) in mind as you do.
6. Write it. Vary your sentence structure. I find good smut includes not just physical action, but emotion and especially sensation, but you might disagree. If you're struggling with repeated words and shit, maybe look for lists of words to use when writing smut. Probably look up tips for writing smut in general, ask people for advice (which you already are, so good for you!), etc. Draw upon your own experience if you have any, and if you don’t, maybe look into people’s accounts, sex tips, etc and check if any questions you have about sensation have been answered online anywhere, e.g. on reddit. But don’t try and make it perfect all at first; just write it. One approach that’s often effective is to do writing "sprints", that is, sit down for fifteen minutes and just write; you can continue for another fifteen minutes when you're done if you want, but you'd be surprised how much you can get done in fifteen minute segments over multiple days. Also, I recommend writing in google docs with the setting of “Add space after paragraph” (go to Format, then Line & paragraph spacing) for ease of transferring to AO3. Actually, here's a good guide on working from google docs an moving to AO3; look at it before you start. Google docs is also useful for when you have a beta because it lets them make suggestions instead of straight-up changing things themselves. Also, take note of where you use italics and non-italicized punctuation together (this will be useful when you need to publish to AO3).
7. Read it carefully and with a critical eye like you would someone else’s fic up in #1. Make sure that you can follow the action based solely on what you wrote and that nothing impossible or contradictory happens (e.g. teleporting body parts, a single hand in two locations at the same time, people twisting or reaching in physically impossible ways). What do you think is missing, where, why, and how might you fix it?
8. Revise it.
9. Repeat 7 and 8 as much as you desire until you’re satisfied, or at least as satisfied as you can be without peer review.
10. Send it to beta. Like, seriously, send it to beta because, if nothing else, your beta won’t know what’s supposed to be happening in the scene, so they can tell you if you’ve successfully conveyed what happens. If you have anything in particular you are uncertain about or want help with, ask your beta to pay close attention to it. Seriously, betaing is going to be much more effective if your beta knows what they should be focusing on most.
11. Repeat steps 7 and 8.
12. Title it and write a summary. Feel free to ask your beta for help here.
12. Congrats, you’re done! Transfer it to AO3 from google docs and save it as a draft. AO3 by default puts a space between italics and non-italicized punctuation, so go through your list of those combos and manually delete the extra spaces. Now add your title, tags, and summary. Don’t tag side pairings/pairings the fic doesn’t focus on in the relationship section; if you need to warn readers of them, put them in the additional tag sedition. If you’re writing an ot3+ that isn’t an established, feel free to tag the pieces of the ship involved (e.g. Betty/Jughead/Tabitha would also tag Betty/Jughead, Betty/Tabitha, and Tabitha/Jughead). But if the ot3+ is already popular within fandom, only tag the ot3+. Don’t tag characters who aren’t central to the story. Tag all warnings and kinks involved especially.
I think that’s it? I guess I might have overly walked you through, but that’s the process I recommend. I mean, I don’t always follow all the steps (While I get the gist of character/emotional arcs before I start plotting the smut, I often really nail them down after I’ve decided on the events of the smut because the latter is generally what has me writing the smut in the first place and I tend to get ahead of myself. Things would probably be easier if I didn’t do that though), but they’re good guidelines, I think? Regardless, I hope this helps!
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oleanderblume · 3 years
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A little character analysis essay for Oliver.
WARNING TW FOR TALK OF ABUSE.
So, as those of you who pay attention to me at all know, I'm writing a book series. About clowns. Well— mostly about clowns.
Its basically one enormous allegory for the process of well...processing trauma. In the form of comedy sci-fi, multiverse saving fiction.
But Idk, I've been thinking of doing a little essay on the main character and main POV of the series, my boy Oliver.
Maybe I'll copy and paste this later and make a video essay lol.
Okay so, don't get me wrong, I love Oliver. I love all my characters in the series. But he holds a little special place in my heart due to some halfway through adjustments I made to him while writing. (Also the fact that writing Oliver directly led to my trans awakening)
Who is Oliver? Well, his full name is Oliver Tarsul— later changed to Jariwala when he is adopted by his step father. He's a manipulative, selfish, and insecure 14 year old with an incredibly abuse wrought history, a dead mom, and a fantastic fucking step father.
And his character arc is the most beautiful thing I have ever written.
Idk if you know this, but the book being published this year is the first in a series of 5. And Oliver's character arc spans the course of all five books. I've written the first 3 already.
So Oliver's initial arc when I wrote him was one about processing grief and becoming a better person and friend. Over time, that evolved with the backstop I gave him which inadvertently added so much more depth to his character.
He starts off like the average asshole teenager. He's rude, sarcastic, and overall a fairly unpleasant person to be around. And then I made his biological father abusive. I concocted this idea— that Oliver's current situation is due to his parents getting a divorce after his bio father attempted to kill him. His only goal was to get his mother back.
And then...I made him a victim of chronic physical and sexual abuse. I know! I know that hits a little bit close to home for me personally. I think I did that to have catharsis for my own feeling when I wrote about it.
But I turned Oliver's biological father into a horrific person who beat and r*ped his child for years before he came out as trans and the violence escalated to attempted murder.
So Oliver— obviously, would be really messed up about it. Seeing as all of this had happened before he got his life with Jon (his step dad)
The way Oliver has been treated in the past directly affects his character and his personality. He is selfish and cruel and manipulative because he thinks that's the only way he can protect himself and also get what he wants. And at the same time, he is insecure and self loathing and so, so afraid.
So he uses people and immediately pushes them away when they get too close. He is my all definitions of the word, flawed.
Of course, his arc is about realizing those flaws and working to improve. But at the same time, his arc is also about really and truly coming to grips with his trauma so he can finally process it and heal from it. It wasn't initially that. I didn't intend for it to be that at all, honestly. But I'm so unbelievably glad that it *is* that.
I sound like I'm bragging lol.
But I tied Oliver’s trauma to his personality so well that he as a character is forced to face those awful things in order to maintain the relationships he builds over the story. His relationship with Douglass (Oliver's love interest) is intrinsically tied to his fear of rejection and further abuse. And as a character, Oliver cannot grow or form a healthy relationship with Douglass UNTIL he can process the sexual abuse he endured as a child, he can't even bring himself to talk about it to Douglass until he understands that his seemingly irrational fear of being hurt by him is addressed.
And Oliver's relationship with Dindet is intrinsically tied to his deep seated rage in regards to the abuse he endured. Particularly surrounding his mother's inaction to stop it and her manipulation of him in order to maintain her own safety. THAT is something Oliver is even aware of.
So his arc not only involves personal growth in the form of building and maintaining healthy attachments, but also realizing the root cause of his struggles in order to face them and gain the ability to form healthy attachments.
And all of his arc, every minute shift in his character stems from the slow realization that he is, in fact, a victim of abuse. That he HAS trauma.
And boy, does his characterization really drive that point home.
Having been a victim of abuse myself, I have an intimate relationship with the behaviors victims portray, I know how I think, I know when I have control and when I don't and what sort of frame of mind I'm in when things are bad.
So writing Oliver as a victim of abuse is as realistic as I can possibly get. He has panic attacks. And flashbacks. He has outbursts of anger that are meant to dismantle his relationships to keep himself isolated and "safe". He is not the pretty, tragic victim of abuse portrayed in countless forms of media. He is the ugly, angry, shell of yourself person that uses his unregulated emotions to keep everyone at arms length.
And he is also terrified and self depreciating and constantly, silently screaming for someone to save him from the well of emptiness that his trauma has left in him.
I didn't do that on purpose either. But I'm glad I did it. I'm glad I built a main character that has such awful qualities and made him in such a way that it is still so hard not to care about him.
My beta readers, the folks who read books 1 and 2 before they get released, fell in love with him as a character. They saw through his awful behavior and into the core driving force of his actions and could even— on some level, relate to him.
And that is such an accomplishment. I haven't even mentioned the other characters thus far, or their arcs, almost all of which were well received by my readers.
Oliver though, hands down. Is something very important to me. And I can only hope that the people who read my book once it's published feel even a modicum of love for his character and the gradual, painful growth he goes through.
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spnfanficpond · 5 years
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February 2019 Pond LiveChat Recap
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We had a great time chatting today with @impala-dreamer!! Thank you so much, Beka, for joining us!
We talked about self-publishing through Amazon, how to do it, what the benefits are, and the challenges to making a finished product. A rundown of the chat, as well as some general Pond news, is below the cut!
Q: What sort of music do you listen to when you write?
Beka: Oh, uh... Well, Actually, I have a lot of playlists on youtube. So it depends. I have a hardcore smut list that is just music that gets my hips moving... then a romance thing which is feely stuff. A "Deanspiration" list that oddly has zero Zepplin in it, just stuff that reminds me of him or gives me ideas. Sometimes I hear a song and it instantly snaps an idea. I write to music a lot.
Q: For everyone, do you reblog everything you read or do you think likes have the same “power” behind them?
Beka: No. If I read it, I reblog, unless it’s iffy. Iffy means, I read it, but wasn’t up my alley or I think it would be too triggering for people. I avoid those types of fics, anyway.
@mrswhozeewhatsis: There is a very small percentage of things I read that I won't reblog, but then, I haven't really read them, I've noped out for one reason or another. Usually grammar/formatting or content, not writing style, to be clear.
@girl-with-a-fandom-fettish: I guess one reason I suck at reblogging is a lot of the stuff I read has nothing to do with what is currently reblogged on my blog and that just doesn't match in my very matchy brain...is that just me?
@mrswhozeewhatsis: I believe that everyone should be able to put on their blog what they want. Some folks see their blog as a collection like in a museum. Some folks, like me, see it as more of a news feed. Collectors are less likely to reblog because they're carefully curating their blog. My advice to collectors is to then make a side blog where you can reblog the things you don't want to collect.
Q: What’s the biggest challenge you find in writing?
Beka: I think the biggest challenge for me is writing in the moment. I can't write if it's not flowing, and sometimes I try to force myself just to get the story out bc i fear i'm letting people down by not posting enough? But it’s not good when I do that, so I have to let myself go with the story that's with me at the moment. Sometimes it's two at once, like today. lol. Also, Sam is hard. (heheh no really, he is. also he is. but pg13)
Q: There are so many questions to about this process!
Beka: I do really get asked about it a lot, and it's really not that hard once you do it. It's annoying to navigate and decide what you want to do, but it really is awesome and not too frustrating. Amazon is really great because they do have an extensive help section AND message boards so you can ask and talk to other self publishers so it's like having someone with you.
Q: You said you chose to publish through Amazon. Out of curiosity, were there any other ways you heard about or considered before you settled on Amazon, and if so, was there a specific reason you didn't use them?
Beka:  I'm basically a Google fanatic, so when I decided to do this, I had no idea what I was doing so basically I goggled "How to self publish a book" and there were THOUSANDS of sites thrown at me. I honestly can't remember the other sites I looked at, but it basically came down to amazon was a company name I knew, I trusted, and had the best help and resources. And I have a kindle, so I figured that was easiest. I think I only looked into one or two others but I can't remember what they were. Amazon just stood out.  I did read up on like actually doing it yourself like through a book binder and all that and it was SOOOO much work this was just the easiest and most cost effective.
Q: Okay, but with Amazon, do they, like, own part of your content if you publish through them?
Beka: NOPE. I hold copyright to all my works. they just are the people who produce the actual physical book.
Q: What was the time frame, like from start to finish, I guess? Or the process if you don't mind. What did you have to do to get set up with Amazon?
Beka: Ok- so getting set up was easy. if you have an amazon account, you're good. Or you just make one. then there is a website- kdp.amazon.com -and they literally walk you through the entire process.  Someone up there asked how long it took -  I rushed it. my novel started as fanfic, which I wrote in about 2 months, then I took 2 weeks re-editing and changing to non-fanfic, then about a week editing again and formatting and then i had my hard copy. So, all in- maybe 3 months, but the actual amazon stuff takes a few days to get you a book in hand.
@kittenofdoomage: One thing I will say about Amazon, it's very convenient but I struggled with the covers and formatting.
Q: Did you have to use special software to submit your work?
Beka: I write in google docs, but amazon no likey- so I had to move everything over to Microsoft Word. and from there it gets updated. HOWEVER, there is now in beta testing an amazon program which I downloaded for my 3rd book but was too frustrated to figure out so I never used it. it's specifically for Kindle, but kindle didn't like my poetry format so I couldn’t do it.
@kittenofdoomage: They have step by step guides. And I use Google Docs, too, but you can download into a PDF or .doc file from there.
Q: So it's not a copy-paste thing, you upload the completed file then reformat it for amazon?
Beka: well... it's two different things for paperback and kindle. There are specific formatting guidelines for paperback such as margin sizes and gutters and such so when you turn a page it's not all wonky. Kindle formatting is MUCH easier to do. you just upload and it does it for you. The files for paperback need to be formatted with specific things. it's not hard... just annoying.
Q: You mentioned changing your fanfic into non-fanfic. Does that mean you can't have any fan elements in a story to publish it?
Beka: Well... my novel was basically a J2 x Reader BDSM fanfic, and so I changed J2 to original characters, I changed the show, the car, the everything. If you know that I write SPN fic, and you read it, you can see it's clearly SPN, but those who don't know SPN don't know that, because I've asked. lol. Also- someone read it recently and thought the Jared character was Jensen, so I guess I changed it enough.  I personally would not publish anything that actually said SPN or J2 or anything because those are copy-written characters and not mine so it does seem illegal to make money off of them, ya know? 
@mrswhozeewhatsis: It is actually illegal to make money off of fan fiction. The WB owns the characters and the show. If anyone else tries to make money off the characters or identifiable elements of the show, the WB can sue and win.
@kittenofdoomage: Those who use Patreon are covered under fair usage only because Patreon is a donation site.
Q: Were there any parts of the process that surprised you?
Beka:  Honestly, the entire thing surprised me. I went into it like just to see if it was possible and then i realized- I CAN’T publish my work. they WILL sell it. People WILL buy it. and it was all very shocking. It was scary, and I know people are intimidated by it, but it really was simple in the end, and if you want to do it- do it. It's awesome to look over at my bookshelf and see my name on actual, physical books ya know?
@kittenofdoomage: I was the same, Beka. I procrastinated for months. And okay, it wasn't a huge success but I learned from the first time, bettered myself the second time, and now.... I'm procrastinating again but that's not the point lol
Q: How much money do you make per sale?
Beka: It depends on the format and the cost you put. Like, for my short story and poetry book I make PROBABLY a few cents on it. My novel I make around $2 depending on the price I set. You set the selling price, and you can do sales and freebies. 
@kittenofdoomage: You can choose everything. They tell you how much you'll make from each copy sold.
Q: Do they tell you how much other authors sell similar works for, to give you an idea what others think is reasonable?
Beka: Yeah, you can look it up, too. They have a chart that's like, "This is your sale price. This is how much we take to make it. This is how much you get," and you can fiddle with it.
Q: Is there any kind of marketing happening on Amazon’s side, or is it all you?
Beka: They can do promotions, but you have to pay them to promote it.
Q: Did you look into promotion costs through Amazon? What kind of money are we talking, here?
Beka: Honestly, I don’t remember. When I see a fee of any kind I run for the hills because I'm cheap like that. lol. It's prob not too cheap BUT they also have this thing you can sign up for that's like a library kinda deal where your book can go on the free book a month kindle deal- i didn't do it bc you don't get royalties for it. but more people read it? idk what's best. It's all very over my head marketing.
@mrswhozeewhatsis: I guess if you're looking to become a popular selling author, and you have the cash to pay to promote it, then after a few books, it would pay off when you develop an audience.
Q: Do you think self publishing is the way to go long term, or maybe a better in terms of testing the waters? I realize you are still in the latter stage but I'm curious about your opinion...
Beka: Here's my thoughts: I used to be a singer/songwriter. I played in Manhattan. I had paying gigs. I recorded an album. I thought I could make it work. But I didn't go for it. No one handed me a record contract. I let it all go to have my kids and family.  I want to write. I realize no one's gonna stick their hand out and hand me a publishing deal. BUT I might be able to pay some bills with my books. I might be able to write enough, well enough to sell some books. and if i sell enough books, maybe a publisher WILL see me and then I can attempt the next stage.  I think self publishing is great. Why not? Do it if you want to do it. If you want to write, write. If you want to share it, share it. Who's to stop you? And if you can share it through self publishing with people all over the world?? freaking do it, man. 
Q: What is your best piece of writing advice?
Beka: OK, my best writing advice is... See it, feel it, write it. If you don't feel what you're writing, I'm not gonna feel it reading it. I think i'm more of an emotional writer than a descriptive. I can't tell you what the room looks like that they're in, but I can tell you how it feels that Dean just stepped on that Lego. ya know? Idk. Write what you see and feel, and put yourself into it, and it'll be amazing. 
Q: Are you a planner or a pantser?
Beka: Planner? SOMETIMES. It depends. I have plans for series, but shorter things I just go with the flow. I'm constantly messaging Ashley like "DEAN JUST DID X. I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING!" lol
Q: Do you outline at all, or just have a general goal in mind?
Beka: I do outline series. but not... strictly or drastically. Like, right now i'm working on a series for my kink bingo that's alternates between the brothers. I have a general plot line over all to follow, but i've also set it up like c1- flogging. c2- spanking, etc. 
Q: What is something you know now that you wish you knew before you published?
Beka: I think I'd tell myself to not worry and just freaking write what I want.
Q: Do you have a writing schedule or something that keeps you productive?
Beka: No. I try very hard to have a schedule, but I'm a little... slightly... bipolar I think and my writing follows my moods. I can write 20K in a weekend and then nothing for a week. I just literally ride the wave of ideas. Like, currently I'm in a slump. but I wrote 10K this week before the slump hit. It's quite annoying.
Except for some general conversation about the stupid places and times we all get ideas and the incomprehensible notes we’ve all left for ourselves, the chat ended. A good time was had by all, I think!! Thanks to everyone who was there! @littlegreenplasticsoldier @kittenofdoomage @girl-with-a-fandom-fettish @because-imma-lady-assface @canadianspnhunter (And two folks whose URLs I never got: Cassie and Shaila)
General Pond Updates and Reminders
Angel Fish Award nominations are due soon! Click the link for the list of raffle prizes! Remember, every nomination is an entry! So far, we’ve only received three or four nominations. If you have sent in a nomination, but have not received a private message confirming we received it, we didn’t get it. Send it in again! Be sure to use Submit instead of Ask!
Don’t forget to submit your stories to be posted to the blog! When your stories are on the blog, then they are easier to nominate for Angel Fish Awards!
SPNFanFicPond Season 14 Weekly Episode Writing Challenge - New prompts go up after every new episode, and there’s no deadline! Check out the prompts and rules at the link!
Say hi to February’s New Members!
Check the Pond CALENDAR to see when Big Fish will be in the chat room and other Pond and SPN events are happening! Know of something that’s not on the calendar, send us an ask or submission with the deets info details!  The calendar offers a lot of features, such as showing you when things are in your own timezone! Since we’re an international group, that’s a definite plus!!
Next month’s LiveChat details will be published as soon as we know them! Hope to see you there!
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sidewalkscienceguy · 7 years
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Well, it looks like I’m doing this (question list I reblogged yesterday)
1. Do you want a boyfriend or girlfriend? Yes and no. I’ve found that pre-existing friendships end up better than spur-of-the-moment relationships. When you both want to be together and doing things and are excited to be together...it’s the best thing ever. I’ve had that before and it’s wonderful :)
2. When did your last hug take place? Two days ago, when my coworker was having a shitty day.
3. Are you a jealous person? I can be. It sucks. Luckily the situations are few and far between.
4. Are you tired right now? It’s the second day of daylight savings. You tell me XD
5. Do you chew on your straws? Nooooope.
6. Have you ever been called a tease? Nope. That’s not me at all.
7. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight? Close! A New York City trip my friend and I went on in 2012, we were awake for 43 hours.
8. Do you cry easily? If something means a lot to me. And heart throb moments in movies can get me.
9. What should you be doing right now? Real job hunting or writing or sleeping but Snowmageddon 2017 is happening so I’ve got time.
10. Are you a heavy sleeper? Noooooooope.
11. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months? My longest was 2 years, and my longest LDR was 10 months. But my most recent two only lasted a month. It really depends on the situation and how you communicate/interact with the other person. Length of the relationship isn’t a measure of its quality.
12. Are you mad at someone right now? In a way. I don’t want to be but I am and it sucks.
13. Do you believe in love? Absolutely. I’ve felt it and I’ve experienced how it can change your life.
14. What makes you laugh no matter what? When people say ridiculous things at random times.
15. Who was the last person you talked to? My coworker.
16. Do you get butterflies around the person you like? I don’t really like someone right now.
17. Will you get married? I like to hope so. I’d love to make a family. Like, wow. I’d love to so much. But I also want to go live on Mars in the 2030s-40s so we’ll see XD
18. When was the last time you smiled? Hanging out with my coworker before leaving in the middle of the snowstorm. We’re hilarious togeth--actually right now because she just texted me something funny XD
19. Does anyone like you? If they do, I don’t know it.
20. Do you secretly like someone? In a way! Not going to act on it, though
21. Who was the first person you talked to today? MacKenzie at Starbucksssss.
22. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? My most recent ex’s parents. My god I loved them and could be open about anything with them. But now...well...nobody I can go to in person. But I have a few long-distance friends :) thank you. You know who you are.
23. What are you NOT looking forward to? March 20th, April 3rd, and May 1st.
24. What ARE you looking forward to? Working with my beta readers to make Perihelid a strong and well-edited book.
25. Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you, and meant it? Yes, and yes. We don’t talk anymore, but we loved each other.
26. Suppose you see your ex kissing another person. What would you do? Recent ex? Look away and force down my thoughts. Ex from a while ago? No reaction at all.
27. Do you plan on moving out within the next year? I fucking hope so.
28. Are you a forgiving person? There are very few things that cannot be forgiven. Fortunately, I haven’t found out what I can’t forgive yet.
29. How many TRUE friends do you have? One, maybe? Idk. Nobody where I live.
30. Do you fall for people easily? Yes, but I try to learn about them in a productive and positive way.
31. Have you ever fallen for your ex’s best friend? Nope.
32. What’s the last thing you put in your mouth? A straw.
33. Who was the last person you drove with? My coworker XD
34. How late did you stay up last night and why? By the time of my posting this, it will be because I was typing up this post.
35. If you could move somewhere else, would you? Absolutely.
36. Who was the last person you took a picture of? Technically my coworker was in the corner of my last snapchat...so her?
37. Can you live a day without TV? I lived without TV for over a year and I’d do it again.
38. When was the last time you were extremely disappointed? Last Tuesday.
39. Three names you go by... Alex, Scotty, Scalex, Scott, Sam....any others?
40. Are you currently in a relationship? Nope.
41. What is your all-time favorite romance movie? Ummmmmm....can’t think of one XD
42. Do you believe that everyone has a soulmate? I have a different definition of a soulmate than most people, and I can’t say for certain that everyone has one. I think I’ve already met mine. She changed my life in the best way, and I wouldn’t be who I am without her in my life. I don’t know if I’ll ever talk to her again, but her influence will forever be a part of me.
43. What’s your current problem? Getting out of this job and finding one that makes me financially independent.
44. Have you ever had your heart broken? Yes.
45. Your thoughts of long distance relationships? My only LDR was the most productive of my life thus far. I think if the situation is right, they can work very well. Not always ideal, sometimes you just reeeeeeaaaaaally need to be together for better or worse! But yeah, I am who I am and where I am today because of my LDR.
46. How many kids do you want to have? Between 3 to 5. Like I said above, I would love to have a family. I love being in love and in January I got to really be a part of a big family and it was the happiest month of my recent life, I think.
47. Have you ever found it hard to tell someone you like them? With some people, it comes so naturally. With some people, you have to hold back. With some people, it’s difficult. I had an odd relationship where even though we were dating, we like....found it extremely difficult to say what we wanted to out loud. Texting we were fine, but in person was like...you couldn’t pay us to say anything cute to each other. I have no idea why or how that’s possible with the person you’re dating, but it came to an end and it’s for the better.
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