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secretadventuresociety · 2 years

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Episode 43 Recap

Join me for storytime, SASholes. I’m Bren, resident SAStorian and the most unreliable of narrators. Welcome to Episode 43: Keggin And Company.

Clout Scouts

The Nobodies wake up the next morning to Pongu making more wankcakes, and talk over breakfast about going ahead and making the half-day’s journey to Bludsand. With this destination in mind, they discuss their shopping list: healing potions, components to make bullets for Pearce, and new knives for Pongu. Kess ponders for a moment, then realizes that one of her brothers might be able to supply them with some potions that he’s made personally, saving them some gold. She asks Pongu to message Rook in order to make the request, and he does– only having to wait a few moments before the alchemist responds through the fairy’s open mouth, agreeing to outfit the party with as many concoctions as he could spare.

With one item taken care of, Kess breathes a sigh of relief for their collective pocketbooks. She also tells Pongu they may be able to procure him some knives on their detour to Mardosta, to which he is amenable. He hands each member of the group a scone of greater healing, and Pearce scarfs his down while telling his friends that he would be more than happy to get his five-finger-discount should they let him shop for the potions instead. He is largely ignored as Kess reveals she may have an alternative to flying for the next time they travel. As it stands now, however, the druid transforms into her eagle form and takes the gang the rest of the way to Bludsand.

The party flies into a huge city alive with beautiful structures and sprawling beaches. Pongu looks out toward the ocean and recognizes The Sea Leaf, a boat that he had seen before on his oceanic travels. Kess decides to land the group smack dab in the middle of a crowded area, and she makes a show of transforming into her high elf form. As if this doesn’t draw enough attention, Pearce turns to nearby onlookers and announces that Pongu is the Prince of Pieces of Bread. The gunslinger whispers to Pongu to introduce Kess as some sort of queen in order to continue to level up their Cool Factor, but Pongu reminds him that she had already solidified her badassery with shapeshifting so she’s the coolest one already.

The Alest Ale That Ever Was

Once the hubbub around their arrival calms down, the Nobodies set themselves a limit of five hours in the city for their shopping needs. As they look around at the various shops and stands, Pearce tells Kü not to make any trouble, to which the kobold replies ‘no promises’ while running off toward the nearest food cart. Kess considers a trip to a bathhouse and gets excited about the prospect of cleaning up and relaxing for the first time in a long time. She brings this up to the group, and they decide it would be a good idea to look presentable while shopping in this relatively nice city. The changeling seeks out a sign that marks all of the pertinent spots in the market, and after finding out the direction of the spa– the four adventurers start walking that way.

Pearce spies a stand selling ale, and as he draws closer, the gunslinger notices it is actually the alcohol that Xefi, their old benefactor, produces. He stops, striking up a conversation with the proprietor, Jerreth. Pearce asks if he’s heard from Xefi at all, and Jerreth says he has, but not recently. The seller goes on to say that the people of Bludsand are somewhat thrilled that Evercrest has gone mostly silent, as there’s a bit of competition between the two. The gang shudders at what they know is keeping Evercrest at bay– but Pearce shifts gears by offering Jerreth 20 gold for half a keg of ale so that they can pregame for their spa trip.

After this transaction, Jerreth asks the Nobodies if they’re from Evercrest themselves, but Pongu tells him they hail from Breadlandia– specifically the city of Panera. Not knowing any better, the merchant accepts this, and laughs with the group at the audacity of King Elemend changing the name of Panamere to the more edgy Bludsand– drawing inspiration from the signature crimson beaches of the city. In parting, Pearce asks Jerreth to tell Xefi hi if he talks to her– confirming that his supplier is indeed alive and that they’ve worked for her. Jerreth immediately perks up, relieved that there may be more Alemason Ale for him to peddle. He thanks the group as they move on, keg in tow.

Bring the Keggin

The party finds themselves standing in front of The Pampered Feather, a tall and dignified building. Pearce looks down at the keg that he’s been dragging along behind him, then shifts his attention to Pongu. He asks the fairy if he has any wigs on hand, and Pongu readily supplies him with a long red number that the gunslinger pulls over the top of the wooden lid of the keg. Pearce dubs his Frankenstein creation Keggin, and drags it into the spa. The proprietor takes one look at Keggin and tells Pearce that outside kegs are not welcome in the bathhouse. Incensed, the gunslinger refuses to leave his ‘son’, saying they aren’t able to be separated.

Pongu discreetly casts Minor Illusion, making Keggin appear to a couple leaving the spa as a small redheaded child. He greets the duo, and the elven woman they had been speaking to heaves a huge sigh, allowing the five of them entrance. As Kess makes her way past the staff member, she slips her 10 gold and confides that it’s better that the interaction went this way. They are then led into individual changing rooms that are right outside of the expansive spa area. Pearce slides Keggin into the communal bath while he heads to disrobe. He comes back out in just his hat, and takes a spot near his keg-shaped child. Not long after, Kess dramatically joins him– opting for a cannonball approach to the same bath, but she dives in completely nude.

Kü, however, chooses a neighboring mud bath to crawl into. As he sinks into the warm sludge, Pongu slides in as well. The fairy shapes the steam around them into the shape of tiny soldiers, making them fight above their heads. Kess calls over one of the assorted staff hovering around the space and orders a meat feast for Kü. As she and Pearce watch the kobold happily dig into the protein platter, the gunslinger poses a serious question to Kess. He wonders if they should stop trying to save the world. He tells her that he doesn’t want to sacrifice her or the rest of the party in order to prevent destruction that may just be inevitable. Kess agrees, but argues that they’re too far in to stop. They either have to choose to run until it catches up with them, or they fight.

Too Much, Too Big

The gang, getting progressively more toasted as they drink from Keggin’s sKüll, start to fall into that emotional state of inebriation. Pongu uses Sending to drunk-message Nix, apologizing for his late response, but telling the tiefling that he’s thinking about him. He tacks on that he supposes he’s thinking of Nileena too, but only inasmuch as he wants to know why she ignored his cry for help during the dragon duel. Nix replies and says he’s been thinking about Pongu as well, and as for Nileena– the human seems to be in one of her ‘states’ where she is effectively lost to time. This response drives the fairy to tears, but he attempts to shrug it off and leaves the mud bath for the communal pool. He asks Kess how the water is, and Pearce invites him in to test it for himself.

As Pongu places a mud-caked foot into the bath, he sees the grime disappear without polluting the pristine water. It’s then that the fairy takes a look around and realizes just how many enchantments must be keeping the spa clean, warm, and inviting. Once Pongu has submerged himself in the water, Pearce asks him about Nix. Pongu explains that he was his mentor’s assistant, but doesn’t say much else. Sensing how sad his friend is, Pearce asks the fairy what he needs. He tearfully tells the gunslinger to steal him some knives, to which Pearce agrees. He also reassures Pongu that everyone who meets him loves him, and he’s sure that Nix does too. This causes a strange reaction in Pongu, who says he’s not sure how he feels about the tiefling. Pongu divulges that he has so much love for everyone that it’s difficult to sort them from romantically to platonically and whatever is in between.

This conversation leads into the party complimenting each other just like that drunk girl you meet in the bathroom of your favorite bar. Kü eventually joins them in the bath as well, and after a bit, Kess suggests they all go shopping while they’re still tipsy. They go to their changing rooms and grab the supplied robes and flippy floppies, but as they start to make their way toward the door, a staff member alerts them to the fact that they will not be able to re-enter once they leave. He also helpfully reminds them that the Pampered Feather is still cleaning their clothes for them, and offers to bring the group toast and coffee to help them sober up instead. The gang agrees to these terms– and each make their own journey through the effects of the alcohol. Kess settles into a massage and throws up during it, bringing her back to her sound mind quite quickly. Pearce makes it through quickly with caffeine and a higher tolerance. Pongu, however, laments that everyone always leaves him– and somehow all the crying keeps him from coming fully to his senses.

Retail Therapy

Heading back out into the city, the Nobodies first go to a blacksmith so Pearce can buy components to craft ammo. He also asks the proprietor for an attachment that would make it possible for him to fire more bullets at once without having to reload. The man tells him that he will need to go to someone else for what he wants– so he goes into the back of the shop and reappears with a halfling named Grimswald. The blacksmith tells them to follow the halfling, and thanks them for their patronage. Grimswald leads the party through a few alleys, then stops in front of a sewer grate. They all lower themselves down and after a short walk, wind up standing in front of an aarakocra. He introduces himself as Jakyla, and asks what has brought them to his underground shop.

Pearce steps forward and details his ideas for Iris, and Jakyla says he may be able to make the gun store three shots at once, as well as doing a bit of magical damage for 500 gold. He goes on to offer him modified pistol bullets that would do extra elemental damage for a little bit cheaper. After a bit of deliberation, Pearce decides to do the expensive mechanical upgrade– then out of excitement, the aarakocra begins to offer them other random magic items he has procured to see if he can squeeze any more gold out of the foursome. Pongu shows interest in Jakyla’s book of spells, and the aarakocra reads out some pages that the fairy could copy down and use for himself. Pongu picks out three spells, but talks Jakyla into throwing in a fourth for free. He winds up with See Invisibility, Mass Suggestion, Hold Monster, and Chain Lightning. Pearce adds on acid damage rounds and one of the aarakocra’s pistols. Kü picks out a Ring of Spell Storing. Kess decides on a Prism of Spell Splitting, Sweet Accident Bears (gummy bears that make your foe feel as though they’ve shit themselves), and purple salt imbued with Zone of Truth.

When all is said and done, the group spends most of their savings. Jakyla also asks to keep Iris overnight to work on the upgrade, and after tearfully setting the gun gently down on the aarakocra’s workbench, the group takes some time for Pongu to etch his new spells onto his skin with his mage hand as Kü watches on, and Pearce and Kess head back to the blacksmith to buy more bullet ingredients. Kess also picks up a broken sword from the same spot. They then go have dinner and wander around the blood red sands until about 11:00, when Pongu and Kü finally emerge from the sewers. Kess looks at the party with a shine in her eye, and tells them that she has a plan regarding their lodgings for the night. She flies them over to a nearby forest and casts Transport Via Plant on a tree– creating a portal that opens up to a tree in her greenhouse inn Mardosta. When they enter, they see Kess’ mom and dad there looking at the flowers. They’re startled of course, but happy to see the group alive and well. Thus, our heroes spend the night on freshly made beds in the only place that has felt like home to them.

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TL;DR

This episode reminded me why I don’t get super drunk often. I turn into Pongu-levels of depressed!

I’m not going to lie, Bludsand seems fucking BALLER. Better than the Pink Sands of the Bahamas.

I sure hope the Nobodies figure out a way to get some more gold…

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Secret Adventure Society: Session 43: Keggin and Company

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secretadventuresociety · 2 years

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Episode 42 Recap

I hope you’ve brought your towel, SASholes. I’m Bren, resident SAStorian and the answer to life, the universe, and everything. Welcome to Episode 42: Heroes’ Breakfast.

The Right Thing

The Nobodies awaken to smoke and the sound of villagers assessing the damage of the town. Pongu is the first to awaken; rising early to cook breakfast for the party. Forgetting which meal Pearce requested, the fairy makes both pancakes AND waffles– then tries to force some on Kess… who didn’t sleep at all post-Ashe-disappearing. Pearce and Kü, however, slept like the dead they almost were the previous day. When Kü finally wakes up, he attempts to contact Nice Bug, still getting nothing back. The group tucks in to breakfast, mindlessly making conversation about opening a bakery called ‘the Wankhouse’ where they would serve a hybrid made up of waffle and pancake features.

As they realize this dream could only exist in a reality where they have successfully saved the world as they know it, their attention turns once again to the city below. Kü worries about everyone in the town going through withdrawals– and as he speaks, Pearce spies some desperate shapes collecting the standing water from the demolished factory and deduces that they won’t have to worry about that for the moment. Thinking of the comfort these drug-addled people must feel as they pull the last dregs of Tear from the rubble, the gunslinger shares with the group the memory of his mom that popped up when he was dying. In the midst of the cinnamon-scented glow, Pearce couldn’t help but think there was something missing from the peaceful scene with his mother.

Pongu, thinking of death himself now, realizes that he never heard back from Nileena regarding his SOS during the dragon battle. The continued harried conversation between the Nobodies keeps him from dwelling on this too long, however, as the group begins to discuss the possibility of Sienna AND Pearce’s mom being in Nevyra. Kess drags out a map and they all toss in their ideas of what place they should journey to next. They eye the capital, Bludsand, as a possible pit stop for a shopping trip. This leads them into a tallying up of gold and resources, but even this is interrupted by a new thought. Pearce asks if they should send word to Mardosta about the dragon now headed their way.

Don’t Panic, But Prepare

Pongu offers to use Sending to toss a lengthier message Norse’s way. Kess relays all the pertinent information to the fairy, tossing in advice to not trust Iano Furl. Kü yells an ‘I love you’ to the Shadowmore family as Pongu’s eyes go yellow and his mouth drops as he mimics the changeling’s words to her mother. Once he’s done, Pearce inquires about Pongu’s new powers, namely their origin. The fairy tells them vaguely about Nileena and his sacrifices to have new ways to help both the group and the rest of the world; one being the loss of his iris. Hearing this, Pearce picks up his gun and holds it tight to his chest. Pongu then tries to go into detail about the cottage in Mardosta– but is cut off by a voice that isn’t his own invading his mouth.

Norse’s stern tone travels past Pongu’s lips, asking Kess what she’s done, then moves past her fear and anger to assure the group that she will warn whoever needs to be warned; finally thanking them before the transmission ends. They all turn to Kess, and Kü quietly asks if she thinks Norse is mad– anxiety moving through him from his PTSD with his own mother. The changeling chalks it up to fright as she notices Pongu deep in thought. He tells the party that he just remembered that the Fallen God Sea was where his people were headed to protect the embers from those who might abuse it; then wonders if he should check in with the envoy that visited him at the Shadowmore estate. They table this knowledge for later use and consider their options moving forward.

The Nobodies decide not to go back into Rinmore at all so they won’t have to face the carnage that they created. Kess suggests they go ahead and make their way to Nevyra, possibly making a detour to Mardosta on the way– allowing them to check in on the possible dragon situation as well as giving Kü a chance to try his hand at facing Dickius Muscular again. They weigh this with either checking in on Augustus at the Order of Brambles and defeating Scott along the way, or going to the temple of Selune where Jendee spirited Dorf away to. Ultimately, they make up their minds to do their shopping first; in the very likely case anything goes awry on the way… until Kess remembers the X on the map for their next Scott Side Quest that is very close to Rinmore. This deviation may give them more money for supplies– and so their mission icon is updated.

Scott’s Scratch

Kess enters her giant eagle form and flies the group to the spot marked on the map, with Pearce guiding her for a little extra help. They wind up in a smattering of dead trees tucked away in rocky terrain. Dust fills the air, and for the first time since leaving Mardosta, Pearce pulls his mask over his nose and mouth to protect himself from the potential inhalant harm. As Kess pops back into her changeling form, she casts Detect Magic and walks around a bit– trying to suss out the treasure spot. She finds refuse surrounding a large boulder that glows faintly of divination magic. Kess then uses Dispel Magic– making the faux face of the craggy surface disappear, showing a descent into a cavern below. As she draws closer, she also notices a rune on the side of the boulder that she does not recognize.

The druid brings Pongu over to investigate the chipped and broken sigil, and he recognizes it as a disabled trap that was no doubt meant to ward off passerby such as themselves. The fairy tries to figure out how long it’s been since someone has been there, but only comes away with what seems to be faded animal markings. The Nobodies make a move to enter the cave mouth, and Pongu gives Pearce the Gift of Alacrity. Gold shimmers off of the gunslinger, and he feels a boost to his fighting spirit. As this happens, Kess occupies herself with looking for hidden doors or the carved name they had found at every Scott Spot previously. Instead, she finds a discolored branch on a nearby tree that she deduces must be some sort of lever.

Kess gets permission from Pearce and Kü for her to test out pulling the branch, as they had already entered the cavern. Pongu stays outside to monitor Kess in case anything goes wrong, but when the changeling climbs the tree and jumps onto the ersatz limb– the stone wall that she had previously dispelled falls back into place, closing off the hidden space two of their party have just entered. In a panic, Kess yanks on the bar once more, and the cave reveals itself again. With this mystery solved, Kess and Pongu join the others in climbing down little notches dug into the rocky wall to act as a makeshift ladder. Once they are all safe on the lower level, the Nobodies look around and are astonished to find an empty room with coins littering the floor haphazardly.

The Doorknobs We Made Along the Way

Kess once again casts Detect Magic– only finding a glimmer of conjuration magic in the corner of the room. As she makes her way to the spot, she is taken aback by how someone had clearly already ransacked the place. The one thing they seemed to have left behind, not including the meager pocket change, is a bit of metal that Kess picks up; finding it to be a doorknob. She inspects it curiously as Kü casts mage hand to gather up the coins– finding about 153 gold, 30 silver, and 18 platinum. It is not the riches they were searching for, and after touching all the walls for hidden buttons, Kess finally gives up and takes the other doorknob she recovered from Scott’s hiding places out of her bag– clinking the two hardwares together.

This of course does nothing, but it does spark an idea within the druid. She calls Pongu over and asks him to identify their undefined items. He agrees, and Pearce recruits Kü to go outside the cave in order to keep watch while this endeavor takes place. Unbeknownst to Kü, it is not only for their group’s protection, but also to save the kobold from the trauma of seeing the singing fish again. The doorknob turns out to be a magic item that can be used once per day to open up a doorway to go somewhere that the user has been before– and if it’s paired with another such doorknob, they can leave one in a chosen location and will be able to open up a doorway to that space. The singing fish are a cleverly disguised alarm spell; placing two at opposite ends of an area will create a line that when crossed will prompt the mechanical creatures into song.

The Nobodies rejoin; Kess and Pongu relaying the information they gleaned to the returning Kü and Pearce. Before they move on, Kess decides to turn into an earth elemental so that she can explore the inside of the cave’s walls to ensure there’s no treasure elsewhere. Pongu casts Telepathic Bond so that the rest of the party can communicate with Kess as she’s transformed. Unfortunately, the Kessemental search comes up empty, and she pops back into her changeling form. She tells the group that she will be able to fly them to their next destination, Bludsand, in about an hour. Pearce attempts to pass the time by asking how she feels when she morphs into an elemental being. This line of questioning dies quickly, however, as Kü begins to wonder how much he and Skugamor have to do with the Emerald Flame coming out of dormancy. Kess, tired and disappointed, has a mental breakdown over the amount of change she’s had in a year. Pongu zones out, head full of worry about the feywild, until he sees a mushroom sprouting from a nearby fallen log.

Left On Read

Once over their collective existential dread, Kess morphs into her eagle wild shape and starts the journey to Bludsand. As they camp after a long day of travel– Kess grows a flower, and it wilts in front of her. She tries again the next morning, and the act summons RavenAshe. The changeling is disappointed that he isn’t in his human form, and Pongu attempts a telepathic bond on the party so that they may understand the bird. It is unsuccessful, so they agree on the same terms as last time. They will ask RavenAshe yes or no questions, and he will peck out his answers; one tap for yes, two for no.

Pearce asks if Ashe touches the other two embers if the calamity will stop and the world will be saved. The raven pecks twice. He then asks if they defeat the Emerald Flame, will Ashe himself be destroyed. The bird gives them a third tap in return, signaling to the party that he has no idea. Kess asks instead if he will once again go dormant, and to this RavenAshe answers in the affirmative. Pearce continues his seemingly unending line of questioning, his energy turning frantic as he does so. He asks the bird if it’s all just a cycle, to which Ashe agrees. The gunslinger loses his temper, shouting that everything will just happen all over again, and that there’s no way they can save the world. While his tantrum rages on, Pongu asks if RavenAshe knows where the dragon that they fought went, and he says no.

Kess, quiet after Pearce’s last question, adds onto it. She asks Ashe if they can fix the world for the moment, and his answer is inconclusive. Pongu resumes, wondering if his people are in immediate danger, and the titan does not know. Kess pulls out her map and urges Ashe to tell them the best place for the party to go next. The raven pecks on all of the places he mentioned before, in Pongu’s Tiny Hut. The fairy then ponders if there are any other titans like Ashe that are on their side, and the raven cannot be certain. He does, however, tell them– as Kess inquires– that if there were… they would not be able to be found. The party then brainstorms things they can use to understand Ashe better, and as their attention shifts to each other, the raven vanishes. At this, Pongu splits from the group to send a message to Nix, asking if he and the fairy’s mentor are okay, and making sure that they know he almost died. The tiefling answers back almost immediately, asking if he himself is okay, but Pongu leaves the correspondence at that as he joins back up with the party. They settle down for the night in a comfortable cuddle puddle, a short fly away from their next destination.

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TL;DR

Who do we think beat The Nobodies to the treasure hoard!? Please let me know your theories!

I’m so glad we’re getting some change of scenery. Rinmore was REALLY bleak.

Hey, hang on! Did Pongu and Nix have a THING?!

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I have heard whisperings that a new partnership is brewing between SAS and Session Zero Clothing! Stay tuned for more information coming with the new episode at twitch.tv/lochness on March 9th at 7:30CST/8:30EST! And if you’d like to watch THIS episode, you can find it at the link below:

Secret Adventure Society: Session 42: Heroes' Breakfast

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secretadventuresociety · 2 years

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Episode 41 Recap

Happy Valentine’s Day, SASholes! I’m Bren, resident SAStorian and the human embodiment of this cast’s love for you. Welcome to Episode 41: Silver Linings.

Ooze, Ooze, Baby

We find the party right where we left them; staring dazed at the ceiling of this fantasy elevator as a large blob of blackish, liquidish stuff makes its entrance into the conveyor. It’s about the size of a volleyball and making the sort of sound macaroni does as you stir it. Iykyk. Using her quick reflexes, Kess casts Frostbite, attempting to pierce the creature with cold. The blob recoils, but then pulses– letting the group know it’s less hurt and more pissed off. More suction sounds fill the chamber as two more oozes enter the fight.

Seeing this, Pongu protects himself with mage armor and telekinetically tries to shove one of the oozes up and away from Kess. It hits the side of the lift and smacks like a fifty cent sticky hand, then rolls slowly back down to the floor. Pearce starts looking for the mechanisms making the fantasy elevator descend; making eyes with a pulley that seems to be holding it up. The gunslinger readies Iris and pulls the trigger– effectively deafening the rest of the party with the report and shattering the chains keeping them aloft. The compartment falls… and falls… and falls… until finally crashing to the ground, bonking everyone’s melons and causing them to fall prone.

However, it seems as though they have bought themselves some time to escape from the oozes. They look up and the creatures are no longer there; but when they listen closely, the gross sounds of the blobs’ movement persist as they crawl toward the party. The Nobodies are effectively trapped in this unmoving box; the only way out being a mangled gate that lies in front of them that appears to lead to a cavernous expanse. So, Kü summons his hammer and tries to burst through the gate with added help from his booming blade damage– and the gate flies off and hits the other side of the room. Kess, in a moment of genius, uses her powers to mold earth to seal off the top of the elevator shaft so that the oozes are no longer a concern.

My Ears, My Back, My Kessy and My Crack

As they are out of danger, the Nobodies take a second to breathe and assess their injuries. Pearce continues to lay on the floor holding Iris; worried to move. Pongu groans in pain near him– lamenting the fact that they even attempted to fight the creatures before learning more about them and whether they meant any harm. The comment falls on mostly deaf ears (literally) as Kess and Kü attempt to pop the eardrums that Pearce so handily shattered. The gunslinger slowly sits up, winces at his spine realigning, and pops open a healing potion to chug. Following Pearce’s lead, Kess scarfs down a scone of greater healing.

Once they have all recovered as much as possible, they turn their attention to their new surroundings. It’s hot and humid as fuck, and the corridor in front of them veers to the left– making sightlines shit and planning even shittier. Pearce volunteers to lead an excursion to scout the way ahead, and Kü offers to go with him. Kess, however, suggests that they all just go ahead and make that way; the only reason for them having split up before was because of the two possible paths. So, they begin their trek, Pongu going into his small fairy form and flying close to Kü’s ear. Kess notices and uses Guidance to help him as he sneaks along. As they stride forward, the Nobodies start to sweat– well, aside from Kü, who pants. Not from nerves or anything, but the sheer Miami heat (look, a sports joke!) coming from the cavern.

As the party rounds the corner, their eyes adjust to see emerald light surrounding burning embers… but also trees, vines, and flowers– all things that are not typically found in places without sunlight. Kess wonders aloud if it is evidence of Ashe trying to escape the cave. She and the rest of the group attempt to scour the flora and fauna to see if they recognize it, but it is unlike anything they’ve ever seen before. As such, they turn their attention to the rocks surrounding the base of the embers. They seem to have been disturned recently, so Kess touches them, finding them to be warm from the proximity to the embers. She casts Detect Magic, seeing that the whole room lights up. The embers glow even brighter with some sort of divine magic and the forest-y bits shine faintly with abjuration.

Survival Mode

Suddenly, a crashing sound comes from above the Nobodies. Kess panics and attempts to grow a flower in order to talk to Ashe; but as she does, a growling voice rings out and echoes through the cave. It tells her that she smells like Mardosta, an old friend, and the Void. It asks what they’re doing in its home but before anyone can really answer, the smell of death and decay fills their nostrils and a rotting but somehow still alive dragon places itself between the party and the embers. On instinct, Pongu tries to talk to it, wanting to gauge whether or not it is hostile. The dragon looms dangerously and does not answer, so the fairy attempts to restrain it, but the creature breaks through.

The room fills with even more heat as the dragon stares into the souls of the party, frightening Kü and Pongu. It goes in to bite the fairy and then claws at Kü twice. After he succeeds in dealing damage, the dragon smiles at the bloodied party and flies upwards. Pearce draws Iris and makes a move to retaliate, but the shot misses. So, Kü summons his hammer once more and bonks their foe just as it raises itself out of range and perches on a ledge away from the party. Kess takes this opportunity to attempt to dispel magic on the embers but it has no effect, so she begins stepping closer to them. Pearce reloads and lets loose another shot that goes just wide.

Kü, however, enters survival mode. He tries to find the exit points in the chamber but only sees the entrance that they came from. The kobold does, however, see a few hiding spots in the rocky surface of the wall. He begins to cast a healing spell for himself but catches the dragon above him in the corner of his eye and instinctively sends a guiding bolt its way– but the blast hits the rock wall instead. Kü takes off running after the failed spell and makes it to one of the hidey-holes– but makes sure to keep a close eye on the party. He sends Nice Bug out towards the dragon, willing him to find the dragon’s nostrils and crawl inside. Pongu races to the stone wall as well and hides; sending a message to Nileena to tell her there’s a dragon in Rinmore, that he thinks he may die, and to send help. As if on cue (and Kü, really), the dragon blows out a gaseous breath and knocks out both Pongu and the kobold.

Don’t Fear The Reaper

Kess immediately runs to Kü and pours a healing potion in his mouth, which stabilizes him. She then casts Healing Word on Pongu, effectively waking him back up as well. As they’re being taken care of, Pearce uses his Second Wind to give himself a bit more health– but not before once again missing the dragon with a bullet from Iris. Kü sits up and drinks his own healing potion and then goes to help Pongu with his wounds. Once the fairy is on his feet again, he attempts to subdue the dragon, but the creature breaks free of it with a legendary action and uses the rage of almost being captured to bite at Kess and slash at Pearce. So kind of him to spread the love. Or pain. I don’t kink shame.

Our druid gets an idea, grabbing her void water and holding it aloft. Kess walks around the dragon and captures its attention, turning it away from the party as it notices the substance and growls. It flaps its wings menacingly as Pearce FINALLY hits it, but the behemoth laughs at the poke in its side. Kü uses Command and tells the dragon to Submit– but it shakes it off with another use of its resistances. Kess finally lets her void water strike out, but it doesn’t make contact. Kü and Pongu snap out of their frightened state, so Kü steps toward the dragon, grabs three rocks, casts Magic Stone on them, then hides again. The dragon whips out its tail to smack Pearce as Pongu takes out his cooking knives and animates them– making them fly toward the dragon with the only goal of clipping its wings. Only some of the weapons hit, pissing off their foe, who then breathes another poisonous cloud at the party.

Kü, Pongu, AND Pearce all go down. In a panic, Kess grows a flower and a humanoid Ashe minus his previous burns appears. He asks what she’s gotten herself into and she yells incoherently for help while she heals Kü. Pearce makes his first death saving throw and fails, remembering a moment when he was 8 years old and in the kitchen with his mom… searching for any sign of his father outside. Ashe puts his hand in the embers and as he does, a black flame shoots up and explodes, causing the dragon to take cover within the vines of the cave. Kess attempts to do an opportunity attack but misses; so she leans on her weapon instead to look cool in front of her Magic Daddy. Kü thinks back to Pearce’s words to him about keeping Kess alive and he uses his very last spell to heal the druid. Pongu makes his first death save and remembers training in the feywild– seeing a burning house with dead, dismembered vampires and telling their young offspring he would take care of them.

Please Sir, May I Have Some Lore

In the midst of the chaos, Kess gives Kü a pat for his help and runs off to heal Pearce. The gunslinger awakens with the smell of cinnamon in his nose– the only reminder from his death-hazed memory. He rolls over to see Ashe with his hand still in the embers getting progressively more burnt by the minute. Pearce props himself up on Iris and asks Kess what they need to do now, and she tells him to run… so he does. As Pearce takes off, Kü catches sight of him and winces– very upset to have had to make a choice between his friends. He shakes it off in order to cast Spare the Dying on Pongu, who is not out of the woods yet, but is no longer on death’s door. The kobold then thinks ‘Burrow’ toward Nice Bug, willing the creature to tear the dragon apart from the inside out. The flame from Ashe starts eating away at the rock of the cave system and drops lava to the ground– and as the ceiling melts, the lake from above comes rushing down.

Kess looks Ashe’s way and he nods at her, and the changeling takes this sign to make a break for it. She turns Pearce into a giant eagle and tells him to grab Pongu, and she scoops up Kü and jumps on EaglePearce’s back. They find an opening to fly out of the cave, into the factory, and out of the roof of the building as the entire thing collapses to the ground and makes a crater that cracks through Rinmore. Pearce lands at a rocky bluff that overlooks the city, and Kess drops the eagle form for him, then takes the time to heal the party. Pongu makes their Tiny Hut so that they can recuperate, and Pearce and Kess embrace while she sends more healing magic his way. Then, Pearce grabs Kü into a hug and enthusiastically asks Pongu if they can have waffles in the morning. The fairy agrees to the meal, then listens to Kess detail what he missed in the fight while he was unconscious. As they all look back over toward Rinmore, the black flame disappears. Pearce calls Kü over and tells him to ‘always choose Kess’ before he drifts off into a ‘dirt nap’, and Kü attempts to make contact with Nice Bug to no avail before he falls asleep as well.

They all take a long rest except for Kess, who tries to sneak away from the party. Pongu hears her and makes sure she’s okay before rolling back over into sleep. The changeling makes her way over into the rubble of the town to check on Ashe; finding him lying next to the still-smoldering embers with his arm resting on top of them. She looks around for treasure, but finding none, goes back to Ashe– seeing at once that he is unburned besides the arm he used in the embers. He wakes up and greets Kess, offering to explain everything to the party if Kess will fly him to them. She does so, and they awaken the party. Pongu allows Ashe into the Tiny Hut, and he tells them about the Emerald Flame. She was once a mortal woman who was hungry for power, and as such ascended to godhood. She ruled for centuries, and in the wake of her destruction, Ashe was born. The Emerald Flame was defeated thrice, and she left behind embers each time; all similar to the ones they just encountered in Rinmore, before she was finally defeated over the Fallen God Sea. Ashe says he has to make contact with all of the embers at all of the sites because she is in the process of returning, and that’s why he reawakened. One exists in Nevyra and the other in the sea. He tells the party she met her end because she made void magic, and tells Kü that Skugamor was the ‘trusted hand of the flame’. They resolve to ask him more questions in the morning, and they let him nod off. As he does, however, he disappears.

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TL;DR

I can’t believe the Nobodies made it out of an actual dungeon with an actual dragon ALIVE. I mean, barely, but STILL!

Whoever holds the last dregs of Tear is gonna be a MILLIONAIRE.

ASHE WHERE DID YOU GO?!

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Well, this has been quintessential DnD, you’ve seen the dragons AND the dungeons… so what’s next?? Find out with the new episode at twitch.tv/lochness on February 16th at 7:30CST/8:30EST! And if you’d like to watch THIS episode, you can find it at the link below:

Secret Adventure Society: Session 41 | Silver Linings

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Episode 40 Recap

Happy Belated New Year, SASholes! I’m Bren, resident SAStorian and the ghost of your already failed resolution. Welcome to Episode 40: Closer to the Fire.

Four Cockroaches and a Fairy

Last we left off, the Nobodies were being sung sweetly to their doom by a drug-addicted busker.. and before they move on to the factory, a commotion sounds from behind them. They turn to see Pongu– their a-week-gone fairy friend– who has just bamfed into existence. Unfortunately for him, it wound up being in the exact same space as a musician. He ruined her song AND broke a string on her lute, so Kess scribbles a quick note to come back when they’re less busy with espionage to right the wrong.

The group is ecstatic to see Pongu– Kü even making a comment that he just realized they were doing stupid things because he wasn’t there to stop them– and they catch him up on the adventure so far. They notice that Pongu is dressed in new regalia and outfitted with a slightly updated staff– but the remaining Nobodies choose to table the discussion of where the fairy has been. Instead, Kess tells the group that she thinks something is trapped under the emerald flames, and that perhaps it’s a prison of some sort for Ashe.

They realize that the distraction Pongu caused would have been a perfect time to enter the factory, but their plan needs a rework anyway now that their fourth member has returned. A discussion of the previous plot weaves itself into Kess transforming into a cockroach, polymorphing Kü and Pearce into one as well, and Pongu using his tiny fairy form to fly alongside them. The party begins their journey– only being noticed by high-as-fuck performers on the street. As they fly along, Pongu reminisces…

Time After Time

Pongu’s mind travels back to the cottage in Mardosta that his deity led him to and his experiences therein. As he approached the door, he heard soft sounds of sweeping coming from inside– but when he rapped on the wood– the house fell silent. He pressed his ear to the door and after a moment, it swung open, forcing the fairy into the chest of a red-skinned tiefling. Pongu righted himself and explained how he came to find the abode. The tiefling listened, only asking a few questions, then seemed to lend an ear to some unseen someone before allowing him inside.

In true Pongu fashion, the fairy offered the tiefling a cookie in return, then stepped over the threshold. What he saw inside would have made an excellent episode of Hoarders: metal knick knacks strewn about, strange writing covering the walls, detailed diagrams of nature pinned to plaster, and a strange tree suspended in midair. As Pongu soaked in these odd sights, a large cockatiel flew down into the branches of the floating fauna and squawked at him. It was then that a female voice swam through the air– commanding the bird to come away from its perch.

A middle-aged human stepped out of the next room, swathed in flowing robes, wearing as many watches as I did in high school, and smelling of teen spirit. She introduced herself as Nylena, and the tiefling as Nix. Nylena went on to talk with Pongu about his purpose and his deity, and after hearing his plight, she took a piece of root from the tree and set it on the ground between them. It withered away before his eyes; and the human explains that she practiced Dunamancy– illegal time magic. She asked if he was at all frightened, and when Pongu expressed his curiosity, she offered to begin teaching him.

Pearcing Damage

As the now even odder pairing makes it to the door of the factory– Kess realizes they made it too late for the shift change of the guards and must instead rely on stealth to make it through. Pongu, snapping out of his reverie, uses his new magic to telepathically bond the four of them. However, only Kess is able to communicate to the fairy; Kü and Pearce have the minds of bugs in their current forms. As such, Kess and Pongu reiterate the plan and go under the door. They make their way without issue… EXCEPT Kü and Pearce being dropped back into their natural forms.

The boys take in their surroundings, eventually seeing two illithids in the enclosed office space. These beings immediately tell them they do not have the clearance to be in the room, so Pearce tries his hand at deception. He tells the two creatures that they’re there to inspect the embers, but the mindflayers are not phased. They start to levitate menacingly, but Pearce waits to see if they attack. Pongu and Kess stay deftly hidden in their smaller forms, also holding their advances, but Kü takes the initiative and lobs a firebolt toward one of the spooky squid people.

As soon as Kü attacks– Kess pops out of her roach form and animates her void water– but its attack misses. Pongu stays small but follows Kü’s lead and firebolts the same creature the kobold hit– then attempts to intimidate the monsters by sweeping their books and ledgers off of the crowded desks occupying the space. Both of the mindflayers retaliate– attempting to cast a powerful mindblast. Only one is successful, however, as Kü counterspells the other. The attack leaves Kü and Pongu damaged and stunned– giving Pearce enough reason to finally shoot– piercing the most injured foe. It starts to cast something, but Kess retries her water assault– this time making contact and effectively taking it out.

And Confetti

With its ally gone, the remaining mindflayer tries to mindblast again, this time to no avail. Pearce attempts to daze the creature before it can do any more magic, but only succeeds in a normal shot. Kü finally snaps out of his stunned state and quickly realizes that he has no other choice than to run toward danger– hammer in hand. As he does, Kess shoots out her void water again and does a ridiculous amount of damage– giving Pongu time to also snap out of his stun. With the whole party intact again, the illithid panics. It begins to try and escape the battle, but Kü once again shuts it down with a counterspell.

Pearce saunters up to the cowardly creature and violently blows its head off– raining carnage down upon the party. They take a second to breathe, eat a new Pongu confection that heals as it is consumed, and then take a sweep around the room. Pearce and Kü ogle the mangled corpses of the creatures that remain a mystery to them as Kess and Pongu loot their surroundings. They both find letters shoved into the respective desks they search, but Pongu also finds research novels about local terrain and wildlife, as well as personnel records of employees at the factory with any debts– including Leery.

They read their letters aloud; Kess’ sounding as though someone wanted to come study the embers but Iano refused due to a lockdown after TuLoc left, and Pongu’s being addressed to a ‘Cylas and Vera’ from The Higher Council of Tharceon– reprimanding the former for using their ‘abilities’ to keep commoners under submission and poverty, and stating that if Cylas and Vera ever step on the continent ‘Erembar’ again, they will be promptly arrested. Tucking this information into their brains and pockets, the party moves on down a set of basement steps and come to a crossroads with a right and left turn. They pull out TuLoc’s map and see that either route will lead them to their destination, so the group decides to send Pongu ahead in his tiny fairy form to scout the best route.

The Elevator Plot

Pearce tells the group to shut up and hones his hearing down both passageways– hearing silence on the left and a sort of dripping sound on the right. Pongu takes it upon himself to choose the left side to explore– eventually running into a stone creature leaning against the wall. The fairy attempts to speak to it, but the being starts to step menacingly toward him. Realizing the danger, Pongu screams and tries to run back to his friends– the foe following close behind. As Kess hears the footsteps coming, she shifts into an earth elemental form and begins to push the creature back. This gives Pongu an opening to create a magical web to restrain it, and when the being breaks free, the fairy then uses his new magic to rewind time and force it back into the trap.

Clocking the dunamancy, Pearce throws a concerned look Pongu’s way before firing off a shot at the stone giant. Kü runs forward and smacks it with a booming hammer strike, Kess body slams it, and it responds with a fireball. This attack hits Pongu full force, but he absorbs the elements in order to soften the blow. Pearce then fires Iris at the hand the magic came from in an attempt to blow it off, and when that doesn’t work, Kü strikes it again with his thunderous hammer. Kess misses her next strike, and in that reprieve, the monster tries to escape– and when Pongu notices, he attempts a counterspell. When it fails– the stone creature vanishes, leaving the party alone once more.

Kess keeps her elemental form as they traverse the rest of the way toward a fantasy elevator– then shifts back once she is certain no other danger lurks outside of it. The group steps in, and Kü immediately gets uncomfortable with the ‘cave-in on purpose’ that is the descending lift. As such, Pearce grabs him in support, and the kobold then grabs Kess as he begins to feel her anxiety heighten in tandem. Her nerves, however, are not conveyor-related. Over the three plus minutes they’re stuck in the lift, she argues with Pearce as he tries to prepare her that what she’s looking for may not be at the end of this journey. She disagrees, telling him it has to be Ashe. Before long, their discussion is broken by an odd sound from above– and a liquid black tendril comes down, reaching toward Kess.

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TL;DR

HOLY COMBAT, BATMAN! Almost three battles in one session?? We’re back, baby!

Pearce describing gore and brain matter as confetti is my actual sexuality.

What do we think about the stream changes?! I think pre-recording added new life to not only the game, but to the ads and breaks! I can’t wait to see how SAS grows this year!

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How have I never made a Pearcing damage joke before? Hopefully I’ll find even more puns in the next episode at twitch.tv/lochness on February 2nd at 7:30CST/8:30EST! And if you’d like to watch THIS episode, you can find it at the link below:

Secret Adventure Society: Session 40 | Closer to the Fire

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secretadventuresociety · 2 years

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Episode 39 Recap

Happy Candlenights, SASholes! I’m Bren, resident SAStorian and your source of all things holly AND jolly. Welcome to Episode 39: Ripples and Waves.

Coming Down

We pick up right where we left off this session, with Pearce leading his spooked coworker out to Kü and Kess. They are a disgusting duo, covered in grime and sweat from the day’s work. Kess and Kü are hesitant, at first thinking that the blonde lady is trailing Pearce menacingly, not knowing that he ordered the woman behind him as a precaution. However, once he introduces her and tells the rest of the party of her plight, they propose taking her to the inn they’re staying at since she is afraid to go home. This is met with some resistance, but with no other option, the woman relents, and the now foursome head to their rooms above the tavern.

The abode is modest in decoration, but homey– and in this safe space the woman, who introduces herself as Leery Copeland, lets the Nobodies in on her tale of woe. She says that when she got to work, she was told her time was up. She assumed this was in reference to the fact that she owes a grand total of 10,000 gold to Talis Rune, who is one of the foremen at the factory, for Tear. Leery goes on to describe Talis, and his blue-skinned and grotesque countenance match up with the man Tibbins saw in the factory office– who, lest we forget, stood motionless for hours. This bodes quite well.

Leery admits that he is probably looking for her as they speak, if he isn’t joined by the other foreman, Proctor. She says that there were three of them, but one, Tuloc– has gone missing. This name brings the Nobodies to attention. He is who Iano sent them to stop. Through this explanation, Leery’s well-being has continued to worsen. She begins to shake and sweat, and Pearce recognizes this affliction from his time with the bounty hunters. She’s going through withdrawal. With this in mind, the gunslinger sends Kü downstairs to acquire food, then heads out himself for water and blankets. When he runs into the bartender, Seylan, Pearce lets him in on their mission and asks him to bring the supplies to their room.

Underground Rehabroad

Instead of heeding Pearce’s request, Seylan clears the bar out and asks them to bring Leery downstairs. Without hesitation, they do so, and introduce the woman to the proprietor. He tells Leery that he wants to help her, and motions for the party to follow him. They file into the kitchen, and as Seylan pushes a tower of crates aside, they watch a trap door come into view. Oddly trusting, they all head down the stairs and find an orc man who seems to be overseeing an underground detox area. They can hear the anguished cries of one other tortured soul going through the same thing as Leery coming from the other side of the room.

The orc introduces himself as Tuloc, surprising our heroes. Kess realizes that Iano sent them there to try and kill Tuloc because he’s helping addicts from the factory get better. She tells Tuloc of the mission they were paid to do, and the orc scoffs. He tells them that they are just the latest in a long line of mercenaries that Iano has sent his way. He instantly distrusts them, but they introduce him to Leery, which softens him a bit. He agrees to meet them the next morning to have an actual conversation, and they leave the space so that he can begin his work.

It’s late as the Nobodies make their way back to their rooms. Pearce, before succumbing to sleep, asks Kess if she would send a message to Orinae Mar– who was the potential employer that knew the gunslinger’s father– so that he can update the man on their whereabouts; hopefully showing Orinae that they are still interested in his mission. Unfortunately, Kess tells him she isn’t able to send one as far as Mardosta from where they are, adding that it may be a bad idea to give away their exact whereabouts. Reluctantly, Pearce agrees, but the fear of losing his chance to confront his father remains.

Flower Power

Once Pearce retires to his own room– advising no one to wake him up before breakfast– Kess grows her nightly flower and meditates on it. Nothing happens, but an idea forms. Kess takes out the popper toy full of drugs and opens it; finding some stones that seem to be housing a bit of moisture, which she drops on her bloom. She rubs it into the petals with her hands, and it causes her fingers to tingle. As she watches, the flower pulses and grows– yet almost instantly wilts and falls. Hm. Maybe this is the old English major in me, but I’ve made it sound like masturbation. This is not the case. Moving on. The deterioration of the plant causes the changeling to fret that her parents may have watched the corresponding flower in their greenhouse die, but there’s really nothing she can do about it at this point.

Kess attempts to Detect Magic on the flower and the strange substance, but finds nothing. She drifts off to sleep, and when she wakes the next morning, she attempts to scry on Ashe. She is unable to see him, and surmises that he is on a different plan of existence. With this new information, the changeling is bright eyed and bushy tailed. She heads off to wake up Kü, who is thoroughly confused about what time ‘breakfast’ is, and then makes her way to Pearce. The gunslinger groans for another hour, so Kess leaves Tibbins by his side to act as an alarm clock. She has decided that the time for ‘breakfast’ is 7am.

Tuloc is already downstairs with an array of food, sitting at a table with a small orc girl– who he introduces as Vega, his daughter. At his request, they… enjoy?... their meal in silence, and once they’re done eating, Tuloc gives them permission to ask as many questions as they like. He tells them that the factory has existed for around 60-70 years, and that he left his employ there because Iano kept trying to kill him. He’s been in hiding ever since, and he’s used that time to attempt to hack the broken system of Rinmore. He found an herb that helped people wean themselves off of Tear, and so he started his rehabilitation efforts. Tuloc then goes into the making of the drug, stating that there are Embers beneath the lake that Pearce had skimmed just the day before– which is what makes the drug so potent. Divinity is just the lake water, boiled by the green burning Embers below.

Mouse Hunt

The Nobodies confer for a moment, deciding that they want to help Tuloc in his work somehow. They tell the orc that they want to give him 11,000 gold– and he promptly chokes on a piece of bacon he had picked up. He thanks them for their kindness, but Kess quickly changes the route of the conversation. She asks Tuloc if he knows anything about the history of the Embers, but he does not. He laments the lack of a library in the town, and asks why it’s so important to her. The changeling begins to tell him about Ashe, but the orc cuts her off, wanting her to keep her business to herself.

As such, Kess once again redirects focus, this time to healing. She asks Tuloc if he has ever tried magical sources in order to cure the victims of Divinity, and he tells her that they have– it unfortunately had no effect. Soon after, he hears Leery stirring and excuses himself to take care of her. The party makes their way back upstairs and hints to Seylan to check out the present that they left for him and Tuloc downstairs. As they make it back to their rooms, they hear the bartender cry out in excitement, and they relish in the glow of helping others.

Tuloc drew a map of the factory for the group, albeit a shiitty one, and Kess suggests sending Tibbins in to check its accuracy. The rest of the Nobodies agree, and she shifts his form to that of a grey mouse. He scurries off to the factory after Kess explains the plan to him– then enters his vision. The mouse goes under a back door of the target and Kess’ vision poofs back to her own. She is left to assume that her familiar has been dispelled– and wonders if there’s an antimagic spell over the factory.

Adult Decisions

The party spends the next hour or so trying to figure out how to get into the factory without being noticed. They consider polymorphing themselves, reshaping the mountain, or maybe even tunneling in through the lake somehow– but nothing really strikes any of them as a good idea. Kess scours her notes to check for any other ways her Ashe-given powers may be able to help, and in the meantime, Kü and Pearce take some time to themselves.

They talk about Mardosta, and Pearce asks the kobold if he misses it at all. Kü replies that he doesn’t, and reminds the gunslinger that even though everyone else had a great time in the city– he endured a fuckton of trauma. It was, after all, where he lost his mom for the second… and third… time. Pearce apologizes to him, upset that he didn’t think of that pain when he asked. Kü dismisses it, and says that the only thing that truly bothers him is that the party continuously treats him like a child. He may only be 9 years old, but as a kobold, he is just as adult as they are. Pearce takes this in and agrees to remember that in the future.

Kess rejoins them and tells the group that she thinks she can turn herself into an earth elemental and power through the factory– the only downside being that she would have to go alone to do it. Pearce and Kü hate this idea, and rightfully so– I’m just as scared as they are that the changeling is going to go off and kill herself accidentally. Even so, the twosome suggest that they let loose all of their eel cards during a shift change. It would cause so much chaos that she should be able to get in, but they would be close enough to help if need be. They leave this as a strong plan B, choosing instead to wait three hours for the next shift so that they can all polymorph and go in together. The very last thing they hear before arriving at the factory is a busker singing them to their doom.

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TL;DR

If there’s an antimagic field, how did Tibbins get in with Pearce?! I need answers!

Listen, as long as the Nobodies are feeling generous, where’s my 11k?

I can’t wait to see what Kess’ parents’ reactions were to her druggie flower. Also will Kess be addicted now!? How does Tear work??

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Things are about to Kess fire in the next episode, y’all. Watch the chaos over at twitch.tv/lochness on January 5th at 7:30CST/8:30EST! And if you’d like to watch THIS episode, you can find it at the link below:

Secret Adventure Society: Session 39 | Ripples and Waves

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secretadventuresociety · 2 years

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Episode 38 Recap

Can you smell what the Nobodies are cooking, SASholes? I’m Nice Bren, resident SAStorian and applicant for Kü’s next pet. Welcome to Episode 38: On the Clock.

Once Upon a Sparkly Unicorn Spy Bug

We begin our session in the days following the disastrous Night Ball. Pongu, having not yet made his peace with the carnage, continuously sought out his deity for answers. He was presented with the sight of a constellation in the form of a great warrior– conjuring a legend from long ago of one such hero who put down their sword to learn magic. Then the stars above swirled into a spiraling current, leaving darkness in its wake. All the light vanished for just a moment, and as the fairy blinked, the twinkling returned– but one star shone brighter than the rest. It seemed to hover over a cottage on the edge of Mardosta.

Meanwhile, Kü gets up early in order to try and attune to his new cockroach friend, whom he has lovingly dubbed ‘Nice Bug’. He surmises that the creature has no kind of physical needs, so he tucks it beneath his Federal Booty Inspector hat and ambles off to find the rest of the party. Pearce is hard at work scrounging up food for his friends, and Kess is preparing to help more people if her services are needed. The four of them converge in Kess’ bedroom– and while they eat, they discuss making their way out of Mardosta. Pearce admits he doesn’t want to go; Mardosta is the first place he’s felt at home in twelve years. Kess responds in kind, telling the group that she felt a sense of belonging stronger than she ever had because she had the rest of the Nobodies there with her.

Unfortunately, the group knows they have pressing matters to attend to outside of their newfound comfort zone. Kess makes it known that she wants to go to Rinmore in order to continue on her path of helping Ashe– to which Pearce readily agrees, having known this was her intention the whole time. He does, however, bring a caveat to the table. The gunslinger wants to keep tabs on his father as they journey, and Kess offers to scry on him. Pearce grows uncomfortable with the thought and denies her proposition. Kü pipes up, declaring Nice Bug should get a vote in where they go next, and it toots in assent with the party. Yes, you heard that right. No, it isn’t a trumpet sort of toot. This steampunk insect lets out a blast of butt air for communication. We stan.

Harder than Coffee

Pearce suggests they all say their goodbyes to the Shadowmore family, and Kess automatically stiffens. She is hesitant to face the awkwardness of the task, but the gunslinger reminds her of the heightened emotions that came with her return after sneaking out the last time she left home. Kess relents, but reminds the group that they should probably pack and be ready to get out as soon as they’re done. They’re unsure what type of weather they will face in Rinmore, so the Nobodies shove an eclectic mix of clothing into their bags; with Pearce making one withdrawal from his own. He takes his fancy suit, folds it, and tucks it gently into a drawer in the guest room for safe keeping.

The party decides to visit Rook first, because he’s the most likely to A) know things about where they’re headed and B) give them useful handouts because lest we forget– he is a weapons expert and potion maker. He tells them Rinmore is slightly less cold than Mardosta, and winds up giving them potions of greater healing and a draught of mind reading. The latter interests Kess in an unusual way: she wonders if she can use it to communicate with Ashe when he is in animal form. Rook doesn’t quite believe the potion works that way and tries to talk some sort of sense into its use but is quickly distracted by Pearce’s weapon; Iris. He asks to shoot it– firing in his room and honestly making a fool of himself– but at least he had fun doing it. The foursome moves on to Zev and asks him if he wants to join them in their travels. From underneath his blankets he refuses, but says that maybe he’ll meet up with them eventually– and warns them not to do drugs while they’re there.

Did you forget Zev had a twin?! Same! They tell him goodbye as well before seeking out Kess’ parents. Art tells Kess that Rinmore is dangerous and implores ‘his little girl’ to be careful. Pearce interjects that she’s no longer a child– and at this, Norse grabs her daughter in a hug and whispers in her ear to ‘go and fight for any girls who have ever had a choice made for them’ and makes sure that she knows she is proud of her. Kess thanks her and hugs her back as Pearce and Kü express their gratitude to the Shadowmores for treating them like family, and the heads of the house tell them they know what it’s like not to belong. They also implore Kess to keep growing her flowers, to which the changeling readily agrees. As the party slips out, Pearce whispers that he loves the elders– and it is heard and reciprocated.

Horses in the Back

The Nobodies grab their things and head out of the mansion while Kess is detailing her plans for the journey. She says she will fly with the rest of the crew on her back, and that they will camp as she grows tired. Everyone agrees to this Rescuers-esque travel, but just before they set off, they remember that Iano Furl offered them a stipend if they accepted the job. The group seeks out her abode, and finds her looking like death warmed over. Which makes a lot of sense if you remember that she is one of the bodies that hit the floor on the night of the ball. I’m sure being undeaded takes a lot out of you. In any case, the woman hands Kess all of the money up front– about two thousand gold– in repayment for her Revivify services.

As the party is travelling back to a safer take-off point, Pongu surprises them with a heady decision. The fairy tells them that he wants the rest of them to go on without him– only divulging that he has something to take care of that will help him make sure he can protect them to the best of his ability. He promises to return and sets off in the opposite direction. Kü watches him go for a moment before saying, “That’s the first person that has said they’d come back”. I’m getting so many One Tree Hill ‘people always leave’ flashbacks and I want to CRY. The kobold next turns his attention to Nice Bug, and asks Kess if the creature can ride in her bag during the journey– as he’s unsure how well Nice Bug would be able to hold on and he doesn’t want to lose him. Kess dutifully opens her Bag of Holding and the cockroach slips inside.

The changeling shifts into her eagle form and begins their trek. During the span of time it takes to arrive in Rinmore, the party starts up a routine of flying, sleeping, and attempting to talk to patrons. Ashe connects with Kess one night and refills her ash stores (not to be confused with ASHE stores) and Kerti visits Kü before the trip’s end. The kobold asks her about Ashe– trying his best to describe him from Kess’ own words– but the godling doesn’t seem to recognize him. When the conversation finishes, Kü wakes Kess to tell her about the conversation, and Kess realizes she can shift into Ashe to help Kü visualize him. It spooks the kobold, but he listens intently as Kess tells him how Ashe saved her life in the forest in the form of a black wolf. He took her back to the cave in Mardosta– where they later found Pongu– and she woke up to ashes, the necklace she always wears, and her flower power.

Not Ready for Kids

After Kess finishes her tale to Kü with Ashe traveling with her to Evercrest in the form of a bird– Pearce pipes up that she thought the Titan was hot when she saw the small flash of him in the cave before passing out again. The kobold asks if it was because he had all those embers under his skin– and then a disjointed discussion about the birds and the bees ensues and it is absolute chaos. It is something you need to hear to believe, so I wholeheartedly recommend following the link at the end of this recap and scrubbing to 1:45:53. I will say, however, that Kü asserts that he KNOWS what mating is once Pearce uses the term– but the idea of someone being ‘hot’ in a way that isn’t useful to survival doesn’t make sense. The gunslinger nopes out of the conversation with ‘I have never prayed before but I think I’m gonna go pray’.

Cumulatively, the journey takes seven days. It’s cold as hell throughout, and they pass through many destroyed towns that resemble the carnage of Seyhoff. When they land in Rinmore, however, it is a bustling and culturally rich scene. There is all kinds of live music filling the air and animals running around, and the streets are covered in tents and campgrounds. However, they hear a distant factory bell sound, and from the reactions of the townsfolk, they realize just how much sway the making of Divinity holds in the city. Before starting in on an investigation, however, the Nobodies want to secure lodging. They wind up in front of a tavern called The Middle Shelf. As they walk in, they discover a robust and lively patronage, and the smell of various foods.

Kü steps up to the bar and orders the food, drinks, and lodging all at once– making sure to get meat for himself and Pearce, and veggies for Kess. As he heads back to the table with the goodies, Kess suggests starting up a drinking game to open some of the patrons up so they can garner some intel. The gunslinger, however, isn’t keen to play. He’s afraid that the drugs in their systems will make their tolerance much more than his own, so he offers to play cards instead. Kü follows him, acting as a stranger so that he can play to Pearce’s advantage. Kess stays at the bar to watch and listen to their surroundings. The gunslinger hustles a group of factory workers– flubbing some hands but he and Kü handily winning others– and as they do, they inquire about the factory and what it makes.

Real Eyes Realize Unionize

As the boys subtly interrogate their new friends about the city– one of them asks if they’re trying to score some ‘tear’. Not wanting to blow their cover, Pearce remains silent and the patron tells them that if they win the next hand he will give them ‘the time of their lives’. When the gunslinger does indeed beat the rest of them, he’s handed what looks like a children’s popper toy. His opponent cautions him to be careful as the tavern’s proprietor doesn’t care much for the substance– as well as throwing in a warning to Pearce to not get wrapped up in the factory. Working there, life is shit, and they start most people where he is; making sure the lake is clean. He pops some of the drugs himself, and Pearce loses the next hand to leave him with some money.

Kess, sitting at the bar, overhears how drastically everyone’s conversations change once the owner comes around. When she meets back up with Kü and Pearce, they bide their time between factory shifts so that they can talk to the bartender out of earshot of the trickle of patrons. They start out by pretending they’re traveling– and as soon as the owner knows they’re not users and abusers (yet), he gives them a round on the house. He explains the horrific existence of the factory and is now the umpteenth person to warn them against it. I think you can see where this is going. So, Kess leaves a fifty gold tip for the bartender and grabs Kü, and as they all exit, Pearce says that he has decided to try to get a job at the factory.

Kess poofs out Tibbins in the form of a beetle so he can hide on Pearce’s person; allowing the changeling to pop into him so she can keep tabs on the situation. The gunslinger has no trouble securing the job– he just walks up to the factory, saying that he’s new in town– and they start him out (you guessed it) skimming shit off of the lake. He attempts to do a little investigating but the place seems locked down tight and no one is really interested in talking. As such, he tries to escape after forty minutes of labor and is commanded to ‘get the FUCK back to work’. As they wait FIVE HOURS for Pearce to surface again, Kess directs Tibbins to a stairwell and runs into an office where a blue-skinned man with angular features and a receding hairline stands motionless. Her sight through Tibbins is not strong enough to see details of anything else– so she gives up. It’s not until a total of ten hours later that Pearce emerges, and he is stopped by a short and scrawny blonde woman who asks for his help. Someone is trying to kill her.

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TL;DR

Welcome to Houses and Humans. Looks like Pearce’s multiclass is going swimmingly; he just took his second level of Step-Dad and got the Dead-End Job feat.

I wonder what Pongu is up to! I hope he brings us back souvenirs!

Is it too late to go back to Mardosta?

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The moral of the story here today folks is KÜNIONIZE! Join in with the Secret Adventure Society for the next episode over at twitch.tv/lochness on December 22nd at 7:30CST/8:30EST! And if you’d like to watch THIS episode, you can find it at the link below:

Secret Adventure Society: Session 38 | On the Clock

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secretadventuresociety · 2 years

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Episode 37 Recap

Don’t fear the Reaper, SASholes. I’m Bren, resident SAStorian and the very diamond that holds the power to bring you back to life. Welcome to Episode 37: The Light Where We Can Find It.

Down With the Sickness

In the aftermath of Sienna’s deadly outburst, our heroes look around and see that forty-one people have fallen to the floor. Before attending to them, Kü unleashes a never-before-seen ability (it’s like they leveled up or something) and heals Kess. Once restored, Kess makes her way to Vendreth, who has fallen out of his wheelchair. As she looks him over, however, she realizes that he is dead. The Nobodies quickly catch on to the fact that this is the fate of all the prone party-goers, and Kü attempts to smack some of them in order to cast Spare the Dying-- but it is unsuccessful. In a panic, Kess takes a diamond necklace from her mom and casts Revivify. Though the gem is consumed, Vendreth remains unresponsive.

Suddenly, Pongu’s eyes go black. He begins to levitate in the air, shouting a reverberating ‘NO!’ as whispers weave through the exclamation. The fairy has an explosion of power, not unlike Carrie White at the prom, as waves of telekinesis swirl items and humanoids around the ballroom. Kü casts command on his compatriot, willing him to ‘STOP (his bullshit)’. It is ineffective-- so Pearce takes action; tackling Pongu out of the air. It takes a bit to fully bring him back down to solid ground, and all the while the gunslinger is shaking him, begging Pongu to snap out of it. Finally, Kü summons his hammer and grabs the fairy. He holds the weapon aloft as a warning and tells Pongu that they can grieve later; to which there is no reply aside from Pongu’s tattoos returning to their natural color. With Pongu calm for the moment, Kess surveys the room again and tells Pearce that she might be able to bring at least some of the people back-- but it wouldn’t be until the next day that the Reincarnate spell would be able to be prepared. Additionally, she requires ingredients that the party doesn’t have on hand at the moment. Pearce instantly finds Kess’ brother, Rook, and asks him for access to his oils and potions, to which he agrees; giving the gunslinger the key to the cabinet to grab whatever he needs. In his absence, Kess scrys on Sienna and sees her walking down a beach in Evercrest-- with a beam of green light gliding alongside her. Kü lights a bonfire in the ballroom and tries to summon Kerti for her assistance, but she doesn’t answer. With no other option, Kess sends Zev running for clerics, druids, any healers who may be able to right this terrible wrong.

Pongu’s Lament

As the surviving members of the ball wait for help, Kess and Pearce argue about the morality of the Reincarnate spell-- which DOES bring beings back to life, but it may not restore their body as it once was, leaving a soul in the vessel of a different race. Pongu removes himself from the hubbub and steps onto the balcony, looking up at the stars. He calls out to his deity, asking why this pain happened to him again. A response comes in the form of a constellation shaped like a goose. The fairy recalls a story where the animal represents chaos-- and deduces that some things have no rhyme or reason. Kü finds his way outside as well, taking in Pongu’s distant gaze into the unknown. He tells the fairy he will be there for him if he needs someone-- because he’s seen a lot of death too and knows what sort of toll it takes.

When Pongu doesn’t respond, Kü adds, ‘If you’re happy just talking to the stars, that’s fine too’, and then mentions the fairy’s breakdown. Pongu seems to have no memory of it, and is taken aback by the kobold mentioning his telekinetic powers. Another constellation burns brighter, grabbing Pongu’s attention yet again. This one is of a manta ray, and the fairy remembers a tale of a school of fish trying to escape a shark. The only reason they made it out alive was because of a manta ray hovering above them as they moved, blocking the predator’s view. With this moral in mind, Kü is able to coerce Pongu back inside the ballroom in order to move the bodies of the dead somewhere better than the cold manor floor. As they enter, Pearce catches sight of Pongu and asks him if they can expect another such outburst from him-- admitting he likes the fairy but will be ready to yeet him should he not be able to contain himself. Pongu boops the gunslinger on the nose and tells him he’s unsure since this is the first time it has ever happened-- but that he would try his best to figure out how to control it.

During this time, Kess is recounting the dead and taking stock of the losses. She notices that each of the potential employers they encountered-- other than the one who had approached Kü-- are among the casualties. Pearce makes his way over to Orinae Mar and searches him, coming up with 32 gold. Kess turns a blind eye, choosing instead to beg for SnakeAshe’s help, but he seems unable to assist. Pearce sees and hears her desperation and informs Kess that sometimes things just ARE, and that they can’t fix everything; they just need a direction in order to move on. Pongu agrees with the gunslinger, but Kü doesn’t understand why they wouldn’t help these adults who may have kids at home that would not be able to grasp their absence. Kess lands somewhere in the middle and tells the group she wants to first bring Vendreth back so that she can ask him for guidance.

The Blame Game

Kü, not entirely sold on the order of operations, asks Pearce if he can talk to the gunslinger alone. As they head toward somewhere more private, Zev bursts in with an entourage clad in robes. The clerics have arrived. The kobold ignores the dramatic entrance and corners Pearce, telling him that they have to find Sienna as soon as possible. He bursts into tears, explaining that all of this carnage is his fault since he had brought Skugamor into the manor, who then killed Sienna’s fiance, and he knows firsthand what it’s like to lose himself inside of a tragedy. Pearce comforts him, making sure Kü knows that he couldn’t have controlled Skugamor or Sienna’s actions.

Something in the kobold’s confession starts to nag at the gunslinger, however. Once Kü is feeling okay, Pearce makes his way to Kess and reminds her that in addition to having been strangled and getting his neck broken, Xarus was poisoned-- and he wonders if it may have been using the same substance that was in the champagne. With this, Kess takes Pearce outside of the ballroom and casts Pass Without a Trace on them both, using this time to finally break into her mom’s office. The gunslinger unlocks the door without a hitch, and once they’re inside, the changeling confides in Pearce that she’s concerned her mom may have been the one to end Xarus’ life-- and if what he’s saying is true-- it would mean she poisoned the nobles as well. While in this rant, Kess notices a mechanical cockroach watching the duo. She snatches it and holds it aloft-- watching as Pearce digs through documents on her mom’s desk.

The changeling herself spots a letter-- and she hands the cockroach off to Pearce as she opens it. It is from a hitman and states that should Norse ever need their help, she need only reach out again. Kess deduces that her mother was in the process of hiring someone to take her former fiance out-- but he was murdered by someone else before she could. With a sigh of relief, Kess takes the cockroach back from Pearce, realizing now that it is more than likely used to keep watch of the house. She decides not to return the item, but makes sure that everything else is in the condition that they found it, and the twosome make their way back down to the ballroom to assess the progress of the new arrivals.

Killing Time

The summoned healers bring Vendreth back, and he asks the gathered heroes what happened. Kess explains the situation and he is at a loss of what to do with the dead nobles. The ordeal proves to be too much for his mind; he pulls himself back into his wheelchair and finds his way out of the ballroom to get some fresh air. In Vendreth’s absence, Kess realizes the pressure is on her to make the decisions again. She sends Zev back out to collect ingredients that she and the clerics may need, and Kü suggests the nonhealers of the survivors facilitate this endeavor.

As she waits for their return, Kess travels back up to her room with SnakeAshe-- reading him her notes on her investigation into how to help him. Pongu breaks away to try and summon his new abilities to no immediate avail. Kü attempts to start and talk to fires in order to reach Kerti-- and when he successfully does, he asks her if she knows the Emerald Flame that Sienna mentioned in her tirade. Kerti tells him that this specific god is trouble-- and has not resurfaced in many years. The connection is lost between the two of them, and Kü immediately takes the information to Pearce.

Pearce ferries this new nugget of revelation to Kess, and she makes a note of it. The gunslinger sees how tired she is and strikes up a conversation with her about healthy coping mechanisms-- because he knows they both struggle with them. On a whim, he removes his tri-corner hat and brings up the moment where he asked Kess to get mad at it. The gunslinger holds it out to Kess and entreats her to hug it instead, which she does. After handing it back to Pearce, Kess envelopes him in a hug too, thanking him for everything.

On the Roach Again

Ten days pass between the ball and where we end our episode. Kess spends the majority of these helping the hired healing hands bring back the souls who were willing to return. All in all they revived everyone but four individuals who wanted to stay in whatever afterlife they found themselves in. Most of the forty-one were restored to their original selves, but ten of the gathered humanoids returned in different bodies. With this endeavor completed, Kess redirects her attention toward making sure the Nobodies can stop it from happening again.

The changeling seeks Pearce out-- asking him if he thinks they should give Kü the mechanical roach they found. The gunslinger shudders at the thought-- then wonders if her mom will be able to see and/or hear them if they take it on their travels. This worry passes quickly-- both of them coming to the conclusion that the kobold would be overjoyed to have the clockwork insect. With this gift in tow, Kess starts to head in Kü’s direction, but Pearce stops her. The gunslinger tells her to take her time processing this trauma, and that he wants to follow her lead on where they go next.

Kess admits to him that she wants to explore the Divinity crisis, and thanks Pearce for his support. She leaves, and finds Kü. First, she asks him if he will ask Kerti the next time they talk if she knows a Titan named Ashe. The kobold promises he will, and wonders aloud if the Emerald Flame was the god whose destruction Ashe was fashioned out of. Making a mental note of this possible connection, Kess reaches into her pocket and produces the gift for Kü. He loves the bug immediately, and when the changeling divulges where it came from, he is even more delighted-- running off with a happy cry that Kess must like him more than her own mom.

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TL;DR

Can we take bets on what Kü names his new pet? If Meat the Horse is any indication, I’m hoping for Shiny the Cockroach.

Everyone’s respective deities really shit the bed this episode. I think Pearce is doing JUST fine without a voice in his head, or any healing abilities, or any sort of friend-shaped familiar...

Drugs and cults and travel, oh my!

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It apPearce as though our adventurers are headed in a new direction soon. Be sure to stay tuned for the next episode over at twitch.tv/lochness on December 8th at 7:30CST/8:30EST! And if you’d like to watch THIS episode, you can find it at the link below:

https://youtu.be/cjBSH0F_UO0

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secretadventuresociety · 2 years

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Episode 35 and Episode 36 Recaps

It’s a double header, SASholes! I’m Bren, resident SAStorian and your most knowledgeable sports fan. Now lace up your skates, feel the turf beneath your feet, and don’t double dribble! Welcome to Episode 35: Things to Come AND Episode 36: The Night Ball.

A Scry For Help

Last we left off, Kü was rendered motionless by the Nobodies’ mystery foes as the rest of the Night Market looked on in horror. As the session begins, Kess and Pearce try to awaken Kü to no avail. They then turn their efforts to healing, and afterwards, they notice that the kobold’s state is more so akin to sleeping than unhealthy unconsciousness. As such, they ignore the re-ensuing chaos in the market to return to the Shadowmore estate-- which is SUCH a superhero thing to do. The Hulk surely never stayed to clean up after his giant green messes. And now I’m thinking of Bruce Banner shitting. Okay. Moving on. They burst into the mansion, only pausing to yell into the abyss that the Night Market isn’t safe, and take refuge in the guest room-- laying Kü on the couch.

The three remaining party members shift into frantic conversation-- announcing that they’ll check on Kü every hour to make sure he’s breathing, wondering if the misty shapes they saw were related to Skugamor, and pondering why exactly they were after the kobold. Kess proposes a reprieve from their worry and tells the group she wants to scry on Scott. Pearce and Pongu follow her to a watchtower on the estate and watch as she sits on the ground, expression going blank. The changeling herself, however, starts to smell smoke and sees a raven appear on her shoulder. It pecks her on the head and pulls her consciousness into a cave with a lake that houses a rotting dragon. Kess recognizes it as the dungeon beneath the cottage in Seyhoff where the Nobodies fought Gus’ pupil. She watches as Scott paces back and forth between the dragon and some journals-- muttering endlessly that he doesn’t know what to do.

Scott eventually grabs a vial and sticks it into the murky lake water, taking some damage as it splashes on his hand. And oh, surprise, it’s void water. The bad guy is studying the bad shit. He then makes his way over to the ritual area the student had set up for herself-- but the scry ends before Kess can make out what he does there. She details the events of the vision for Peace and Pongu, worried now that she set Scott on this path of curiosity. Then, remembering his reaction to touching the void water, attempts to see if the liquid still has an effect on her. As she pours some out of her canteen, it freezes before it meets skin-- hovering in little void balls (heh) to keep from making contact. A realization settles in that this all started when she fell into the void hole (HEH) in the Seyhoff storm and died.

While Kü Were Sleeping

The week passes with Kü in his coma-esque stasis, Kess and Pongu reaching out to their respective deities, and Pearce asking Zev to get him to LITERALLY Willard and Ren in Footloose him before the big ball. For those of you who don’t speak in 80s films-- he asks him to teach him how to dance. In between all this, the group splits up and takes descriptions (albeit sexually charged ones) of their misty foes to various members of the Shadowmore family, and not a one of them is any help. They continue to check on their fallen kobold; Pongu even summoning his spider familiar to skitter over Kü to do its own investigation. Nalani tells Pongu Kü is fine, but his state is troubling, and like nothing she’s ever seen before.

Though Pearce covered his dance lessons by telling the group he was combat training with Rook, Kess ends up seeing him through Zev’s window-- but keeps his secret. She also uses another scry to look in on Xefi, seeing that Evercrest is in ruins, and that their former employer is currently hiding from green tendrils of death from the sky and looking rough as fuck. That night, Kess decides to join the boys in the guest room-- drawing a sketch of Xefi to see if Pongu can send her a message. The picture doesn’t seem to be enough, and so Pongu spends a few days looking for clerics to join with him in order to reach her. When they do, Kess sends out a message telling her that help is on the way, and asking if she is safe and what they might need to know about the situation in Evercrest.

A grizzled voice bounces back-- assuring the changeling that no, she is not safe, and that the Lifewell water is drained. It is not the informative peek into Evercrest that Kess wanted, but before the group can look any further into it, a staff member of the house comes to tell Pongu that he has a guest in the foyer. It turns out to be an emissary from Mauna'Vai named Kiyo. They have come to tell the fairy that their fleet is retreating from the east coast in order to protect something called the Hamahoa. Pongu accepts the notice, but confesses to his friend that he must stay with the charges he has now even though he loves his empire. The fairy promises to rejoin with them as soon as he is able, and the emissary leaves in understanding.

Mardosta’s Next Top Model

After seven long days, Kü finally awakens from his slumber. Pearce rushes in to check on him and fill him in on what he’s missed. With a cursory medicine check, the gunslinger deduces that the kobold is doing okay other than some lingering weakness. Emerging from the guest room, the boys find the estate in chaos because of the ball. They meet up with the others as Pearce pieces together that it’s possible his father might be at the celebration. He tells the Nobodies to look out for any mention of a Gehrman Goodblood. With that said and settled, the group realizes they should go pick up their fancy attire from the tailor, and we get the loveliest of montages as our heroes try on their suits and dresses.

Kü’s and Pongu’s were just as described, and we finally get a look at what Kess had designed for herself and Pearce. The gunslinger places a diamond in his pocket, looking at himself as he stands in a slim fit, dark blue suit detailed with embroidered flowers. A white button up peeks out from under the jacket, and Pearce is in awe of how well Kess has done. The changeling herself is in a tightly fitted red dress with a mesh neckline that drops down her stomach, and a backless view of her shoulders. The fiery gown flits down her arms and comes to a point that is connected to one of her fingers, giving her the illusion of gloves. She gets Zev to help her with her hair and makeup, and Pongu comes to give a hand while having a heart-to-druidic heart with Kess.

Meanwhile, Kü and Pearce talk about fears. The kobold tells him that he has a haunting feeling that a spider was crawling on him as he slept-- and in lieu of telling Kü that he is 100% correct, the gunslinger attempts to talk him out of that specific fear. He tells him that he’s seen Kü in battle and is certain that any arachnid would cower before him. Disbelieving but unwilling to argue with Pearce, Kü asks the gunslinger what he’s afraid of. After a pause, Pearce tells him that he’s scared of losing the friends he’s found in the Nobodies, but that he isn’t going to let that happen. He then decides to break up the seriousness by teaching the kobold to dance, though Kü winds up leading him in the gambol.

There’s A Snake In My Ball

The ball has finally arrived. Kess is nowhere to be found as she has to enter with her family, so Pearce, Pongu, and Kü travel down the grand staircase holding hands. Pearce tells the other two boys that they are there to have fun, not embarrass Kess, and to keep an ear out if they hear any intel about Scott or ghosts. It seems as though the dance is only for the nobles, which would have garnered a bigger eyeroll from the scruffy adventurers had the Shadowmore line not started their entrance. As Kess begins to glide down the stairs, she spots a snake on the ground-- and after a few adorable rolls and tongue flicks-- Kess recognizes it as Ashe. She picks him up and places him around her shoulders and makes her way into the ball like Britney Spears at the VMAs.

Kess introduces SnakeAshe to her friends, and afterwards Pearce asks the changeling to dance and absolutely nails it. Running off that high, he then dances with Zev and literally anyone else that will say yes to him. Standing alone, Kü is approached by a young girl his size that winds up asking him to be her dance partner. Pongu grooves to his own beat and Kess relishes her time with Ashe-- trying to cast Speak With Animals to speak with him but being unable to-- until all of our heroes start getting accosted by strangers offering jobs and coin. Pearce is cornered by a gun manufacturer named Orinae Mar who recognizes his surname and asks about his dad. The gunslinger tells him he hasn’t spoken to the man in years, and from his tone and vehemency, Orinae asks him to join forces with him.

At the same time, Pongu is stopped by an owner of a fleet of merchant ships whose name is Pelham Toven. He asks the fairy for his name, and we hear his last name for the first time; Nightsong. Pelham requests the Nobodies check on his farm of sea urchins over in Evercrest. A gnomish man makes his way up to Kü and asks if the kobold was the one he saw fighting in the Underfrost. With a blank gaze, Kü asks him how he’s supposed to know what he saw-- and the man agrees and turns right back around. A lady named Iano Furl addresses Kess, telling her that a cult has popped up in Rinmore because of a drug called Divinity. She wants the party to dismantle it-- and as she tells the changeling about it, Ashe tightens around her shoulders in interest. With these interactions in hand, the friends come back together, all with their own ideas about where their journey should be taken next.

Black Widow

The Nobodies tell each other about the odd jobs they’ve been offered and the places they’re now interested in going-- and as they do, the gnome who had tried to talk to Kü passes by, and the kobold stops him. He defers to Pearce to handle the conversation, and they learn that he wants the group to fight a monster on the riverbank that is disturbing his supply line. Not coming to any sort of conclusion, the allies shift their focus to Kess and Ashe, who make their way over to her parents. She introduces her friend to her mom and dad, and tells them that he is responsible for the flowers that grew in the greenhouse while she was away.

The clock strikes midnight, and all hell breaks loose. A black hole opens up in the air with a figure hovering in front of it. As the party looks closer, they see that it’s Sienna-- who you will remember was Xarus’ widowed fiance. Can you be widowed if you’re not married? I’m going to Google that once I finish writing this recap. I’ll get back with you. Anyway! Sienna has two beads of glossy black liquid that Kess recognizes as void water-- and as she drifts into the air with them in tow, the imbibers of the champagne that has been flowing free at the party start to drop to the ground. Norse, Zev, and Rook all double over in pain while Kess attempts to see if Sienna put void water in the alcohol, but she doesn’t see any.

Sienna then goes into a villain monologue which I will write out for you verbatim:

“Through the chaos of discord, destruction, and death; through the cleansing fire of famine and war, the arrogance of a world will crumble, and the Emerald Flame will rise once more.”

With this ominous prophecy delivered, the portal closes and Sienna disappears, leaving the ball quiet-- mostly from the unconscious part-goers but also the stunned silence of our adventurers who have no idea what to do as the world around them has opened up in terrifying ways.

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TL;DR

I’m so glad Kü is okay, but can we go back to why he was almost taken?!

The Nobodies are now gaining renown and they’re getting the D&D equivalent to spam calls.

I KNEW SIENNA WAS BAD NEWS! Pearce should have killed her when he had the chance!

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They’re out to get the Nobodies, and that little Pongu too! Catch the next episode over at twitch.tv/lochness on November 25th at 7:30CST/8:30EST! And if you’d like to watch THESE episodes, you can find them at the links below:

Secret Adventure Society: Session 35 | Things to Come

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Secret Adventure Society: Session 36 | The Night Ball

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secretadventuresociety · 3 years

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Episode 34 Recap

Happy early Halloween, SASholes. I’m Bren, resident SAStorian and your favorite spooky scary skeleton. Welcome to Episode 34: Sliding Scales.

Slippery Beginnings

Kü, awoken by his dream, gets up and puts on his dress to get ready for the day. Pearce stirs not long after, and he requests to take the kobold out-- just the two of them. Kü jokes about the gunslinger taking him out to kill him, but Pearce doesn’t laugh. He tells Kü to sit down, and the pair crisscross applesauce facing each other. It is in this moment that Pearce breaks the fourth wall and uses Iris to shoot me in the fucking heart. He attempts to give Kü a safe space to say goodbye to his mother-- which the gunslinger insinuates he never got to do either. Pearce tells Kü to pretend he is his mom, and to say anything he feels was left unsaid. Kü sits in a stunned silence, so Pearce prods him on by beginning the roleplay. As Kü’s mother, he tells the kobold that he’s sorry for not being there for him. Kü stops him, requesting that Pearce be himself again so he can tell him that one of the reasons he believed Skugamor to be his mom was because his real mom didn’t treat him well either-- and there was no world outside of her.

He thought that’s how it was with everyone until he met the Nobodies and they showed him compassion and encouraged him to be himself. With their influence, Kü realized that while he still loved his mother and always would, he deserves more than what she ever gave him. The kobold wraps Pearce up in a hug and gives thanks for letting him talk things out, but he feels as though he said goodbye a long time ago-- though ‘there are people in your life whose footprints don’t go away’, and his mother will be with him always, for better and for worse. Kü peers at Pearce’s hat and tells him he needs another of his own because he ‘isn’t ready to show the footprints his mother left yet’; these specific ‘footprints’ being the physical scars she left him with. Pearce takes in the kobold in silence before taking off his tri-corner hat. He solemnly announces that he needs to say goodbye as well-- and promptly buries the accessory in the ground. He promises Kü that they will find new hats together.

As this heart-wrenching exchange takes place, Pongu has come out of sleep as well. He heads for the Shadowmore kitchens and seeks out the head chef. The fairy tells the cook that he owes him a sort of life debt for giving him such priceless ingredients, which the chef balks at. He tells Pongu that if he would like to help out making breakfast, he is more than welcome to, and then attempts to go back to his work. Pongu stops him, asking the chef how he’s holding up after the Skugamor attack. The fairy places a soft hand on his shoulder and tells him that he needs to take care of himself; and hopes that he isn’t just trying to stay busy in order to keep from processing the near death experience. The head chef begins to sob, divulging to Pongu that he thinks he actually BECAME a chef so that he could put himself aside to cater to others. Hearing this, Pongu demands the chef take a break, promising HE will handle the morning meal— then amends the statement to include all the kitchen staff. Without a second glance, the chef takes him up on it, and heads to an unused room on the second floor to take a well-deserved nap.

Kü’s Hat Trick

As the rest of the group have been exploring trauma too early in the damn morning, Kess sits in her room, taking notes on what Ashe had told her the night before. She sketches out plans for the party’s next steps based on it— and is still very much engrossed in her work as Pongu bursts in with a plate piled high with pancakes, waffles, and decadent syrup. He pushes it toward the changeling, who takes a bite to appease him, but continues working. Kü and Pearce also find their way to the room, finding Pongu holding out food for them as well. Pearce tucks in reluctantly to a continental-style breakfast while Kü simply devours the bleeding mass of rare meat he has been offered. Snapped out of her reverie, Kess tells the party about her conversation with Ashe— a tale that is interrupted by Pearce and Kü trying to make sure she didn’t kill herself to do it. She assures them that he came to see her in the form of a raven, but Pearce wonders how she KNOWS it wasn’t just a plain Jane bird.

This question makes Kess doubt herself, but she presses on, laying out the answers to the questions she had thought to ask the titan. Realizing these made her more curious than they satisfied her, she tells the group she wants to go to the library. She casts a cursory glance at Pearce and notices that his hat is missing, so she asks what happened to it. The gunslinger tells her he buried it, and that they should go shopping for a new one while out traversing to the library. He then remembers that Kü asked him for a favor, so he sends the kobold and Pongu away— telling the fairy to take Kü to the bathroom to shit. I need to tell you how appreciative I am of this show for ACTUALLY mentioning bodily functions. When was the last time you heard about someone going to poop on Bridgerton? I just pulled a show name out of my ass because I’m not up to date on what the kids are watching these days. I digress. Kü catches on to the lie and pulls Pongu away— eventually telling him Pearce made up the shit part BUT he actually does need to use the bathroom, so it was a perfect chance for the kobold to practice lying.

Once the two are out of the room, Pearce confesses to Kess that Kü asked him to get her Bag of Holding for him so that the kobold could grab something out of it— but that he wasn’t going to do it without telling her. Kess sarcastically laments her bag being missing and tosses a hand toward its whereabouts. Pearce dutifully retrieves it and steps outside of the room, leaving the changeling to continue her harried scribbling. He meets up with Kü and Pongu, and tosses the bag to the kobold. Kü shoves his hand inside, imagining a baseball cap. He pulls out a hat with ‘Federal Booty Inspector’ embroidered across the front. Longtime fans will remember this piece from the very first few episodes of the show. I swear that this boy gets use out of EVERY item the DM puts into his claws, and it is incredibly remarkable. Kü tugs it on— covering the scar that spans the top of his head— and pulls it down over the eye that the mark continues onto. He asks Pearce to tell him what the hat says, and the gunslinger pauses for a moment before telling him it proclaims to the world his appreciation for the tails of creatures. The kobold, satiated, muses if maybe he could get a dress for the ball that matches the cap.

Put the Lizard on the Ice

The threesome grab Kess— and the party makes their way to the Night Market to visit the town tailor. Once there, Kess reminds them to put any charges on the Shadowmore tab, and the tailor realizes who she is. They move her past the other waiting customers and start in on her specifications. The changeling pulls out her sketch of Pearce’s outfit— still hiding it from the gunslinger himself. They pull Pearce aside and begin to take his measurements. As they do, Kü looks around at the full waiting room that is unabashedly staring him down and smiles. One faint-of-heart noble screams and takes off, to which Kess rolls her eyes, tugging the kobold to her so that he can tell the tailor what sort of dress he’s thinking of. After a debate regarding his new hat, Kü settles on a flowy, golden dress to match his new ring. At mention of this adornment, the rest of the group balks as it is their first time hearing of it. Pearce demands to know if the item is stolen, but Kü tells him it was a present from ‘New Mom’ (I would love to know how Kerti reacted to that) and then goes on to request a ridiculous amount of accessories to accompany his new outfit.

The tailor moves on to Kess, who hands them a sketch for her as well. Kü chides her by saying he challenges her not to wear black or grey— and the party is surprised to learn that the dress she has planned is neither of them. She hands the floor over to Pongu, who describes a Victorian-style skirt that meets with a golden battle bodice at his waist. He requests a cape and finds a cane to match the ensemble. Pearce suddenly remembers the lightness of his head and asks the tailor if they have a brown, tricorner hat. They produce one and sell it to the gunslinger for 20 gold, then assures the group their orders will be ready just in time for the ball. They thank their host and start to head out, Pongu deftly placing treats in front of the other customers. One angry patron mutters under their breath that the candy must be poisoned (because it is rumored that Kess killed Xarus) and the changeling promptly snatches the sweet up and hisses ‘fuck no it’s not poisoned’, placing it into her mouth and angrily stepping back out into the Night Market.

Here, the Nobodies decide to split ways. After some deliberation, they decide that Pearce and Kess will handle the library as Kü and Pongu take the gem dust they recovered from Scott’s hoard to Linklater’s shop. Kü finds his way effortlessly to the jeweler, holding up the bag of shining green dust for him to identify. Linklater tells the two that it is fine emerald powder, offering them 300 gold for it. Pongu, hesitant to make this decision alone, tells the shopkeep that they want to shop around to make sure that’s the best price they’ll find. As they walk away, Pongu proposes taking Kü ice-skating in order to lift his spirits a little since the past few days have been so trying for him. The kobold relents, but the experience does not go well. Kü is unable to keep his footing; slamming almost instantly into a woman and her child. Pongu apologizes to the family and takes Kü off of the ice. They decide to have a heart-to-heart instead (a LOT of these this episode) and Kü lays out his life story for the fairy— then asks how Pongu can be so good. The kobold admits it pisses him off that Pongu seems to do it so effortlessly, but he has to try to do it. After some thought, the fairy tells Kü to just continue to try, apologize if it doesn’t work, learn from the experience, and try again.

Anger Management

In the library, Kess tells Pearce she wants to figure out what happened to Ashe when he was a titan. With this information, Pearce slides over to one of the library staff and asks her where he would find books written about ancient beings— using a cover story that he is a playwright doing some research. Charmed by him and his story of his comedy troupe, the Drow he’s cornered tells him they’re on the second floor. Quickly into her reading, Kess starts to see common threads in the books she’s chosen. She learns that gods are forged, not born, that ‘unknown kingdoms’ worshipped them, and that when a chaotic god is too powerful, a titan is made from whatever is left of what they’ve destroyed— and that if the god they are made from perishes, the titan does as well. She asks Pearce to look further into the ‘unknown kingdoms’ and known destroyed gods— but forgoes both topics in order for the gunslinger to research weather phenomenons that have caused the most damage. This leaves the changeling free to find more on fallen deities on her own.

Pearce finds no weather anomalies directly related to a god, but he does unintentionally find out that the ‘unknown kingdom’ that Kess was so interested in was wiped out by some undiscovered happenstance— and that few relics from their age still exist. Kess, on the other hand, uncovers a small list of deities. The rest, she learns, are either outlawed in most places or aren’t of note enough to be recorded. The changeling gets the feeling that there are more gods not chronicled than there are ones that have been written about, and so she is discouraged but also intrigued. At this point, Kü and Pongu meet back up with Kess and Pearce and tell them about their skating incident, as well as the fact that they had not sold the now-identified emerald dust yet. Pongu suggests looking up the uses for the crushed gems, but Pearce laments that he is sick of being at the library, and actually needs the group for something outside. Pongu checks out a few stone-related novels anyway, and heads out to the library grounds with the rest of the Nobodies.

They find the gunslinger with his new hat sitting on the ground. He tells the party that his past hats had history, but he wants the new one to MEAN something. So, he asks each member of the group to beat the shit out of it while focusing on the things that piss them off. Kü summons a new weapon— a hammer constructed from the spinal column of a large beast with a golden rock at the tip— and bonks the shit out of the cap. Kess only lightly steps on it, saying she can’t summon that feeling of anger. Pearce pushes her, asking her if she’s upset about the people who have left or not listened to her. Kü tells Pearce that he doesn’t think she’s mad at others. He wagers that the changeling is angry with herself for not being happier with herself and doesn’t know why she isn’t. With this, Kess walks away, but before any of the Nobodies can follow up with her, Pongu’s eyes suddenly go white. An aura of darkness surrounds him with stars twinkling inside, but it’s more of a devouring abyss than a night sky. The fairy holds the hat close to himself as his dragon-esque wings unfurl. Light slowly returns to him as he floats to the ground— and once he is himself again, he hands the hat back to Pearce and thanks him.

Upon a Night Market Foggy

Kess makes her way into the Night Market, searching for a focus for her magic. She finds a shiny black stone that is crackled and pockmarked towards the middle at a shop that boasts items sourced from natural fire sources. She inquires about it to the shopkeeper, and he tells her that it was forged in the dwarven mountains 200 years or more ago. It is exactly what she is looking for, so she pays the man. The rest of the group has caught up with her at this time, and Pongu takes this chance to get this proprietor’s appraisal of the emerald dust. He offers them more money for it— stating it can be used for fashion or spell-casting— but Kess tells him they are going to keep it for now. As this conversation ends, the party begins to hear screams from outside of the shop, and when they step out to investigate, they find three wispy, faceless forms that they recognize from one of their very first battles together.

Pearce automatically fires Iris at the shapes but the shot goes wide. Kü, however, curses the middle wisp and hits it with a Guiding Bolt. It evaporates from existence— leaving the Nobodies with two foes to contend with. Pongu shifts into starry form once he has made sure the creatures mean harm, but he waits with a healing spell prepared if any of his companions take damage. A great wind stirs around Kess (it’s not a fart) as she summons an air elemental that flies up and bodies into one of the remaining two enemies. They retaliate by encircling Kü, and one wraps a tendril of fog around the kobold’s face, sending him straight into a deep unconsciousness. This sorcery triggers Pongu’s healing magic, and though he repairs the damage the beings did to Kü, he stays in his fainted state. As such, the creatures begin to float away with the kobold. Pearce panics and tries to stop them with a well-placed bullet to where one’s face would be. Fog leaks from the ‘wound’ but doesn’t take it down, so the gunslinger shoots again. This one dissipates the shape, and Kü starts to fall to the ground.

Before he can land, however, the last wisp snatches the kobold up and continues drifting away. Pongu Guiding Bolts it and Kess finally taps into her rage as she bends the LifeWell water out of the cask at her side. She aims for where a mouth would be if the creature had one— but as it is unable to swallow the liquid, it does absolutely no damage. Thwarted, she instead shifts into a giant eagle and begins to fly to Kü’s rescue. Pearce reloads and tries to disarm the creature of Kü by firing at the misty arms cradling him. The shot sends the kobold into a free-fall as Pongu flies over to the wisp and summons two starry spirit guardians to surround it. The group blasts it with radiant energy and slays it. Once the enemies are clear, the spirit guardians disappear and the Nobodies crowd around their fallen friend as the Night Market patrons gawk at the heroes— stunned into silence from what they’ve just witnessed.

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TL;DR

I have a new rule— no trauma dumping before breakfast!

Can we circle back to why Kess didn’t attempt to Speak With Animals with RavenAshe? What if it WERE just a random bird?!

Why are the fog boys back and WHAT do they want with my comfort character???

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I can’t Kess my breath after this episode. Maybe I’ll be alive to see the next episode over at twitch.tv/lochness on November 3rd at 7:30CST/8:30EST! And if you’d like to watch THIS episode, you can find it at the link below:

Secret Adventure Society: Session 34 | Sliding Scales

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secretadventuresociety · 3 years

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Episode 33 Recap

I hope you brought your snorkels, SASholes. I’m Bren, resident SAStorian and your diving instructor. Welcome to Episode 33: In Shallows and Embers.

Slippery Beginnings

Last we left off, the Nobodies were facing off against some interesting water creatures as they attempted to reach a sunken coffin at the bottom of a once-frozen lake. Kü holds off from attacking as he tries identifying his foes-- only to be able to gather that they are about eight feet long. As he assesses the situation, he also figures out that his crossbow is all but useless in their aqueous terrain, and so he pulls out his broken liquor bottle and wields it. In case you’ve forgotten, our dear kobold has been rendered magicless due to the… vanquishing(?) of his Not-Mother. Was that the world’s laziest Coraline reference? Guinness, call me. ANYWAY. Kü is still riding SharKess at this point-- and she wriggles to slide him off so that she doesn’t take him into danger. She swims right up to the swirling water beings and stares them down, trying to suss out if they mean them harm or not.

Turns out, they indeed DO mean harm. One sends a powerful jet of water at Kess but misses-- though the other has much more luck. It traps SharkPearce in a whirlpool, although not for long. Filled with SharkRage, the former gunslinger breaks out of the hold and makes a beeline for the coffin below. He treads a good 40 feet before getting struck once more with a hydrous attack. All this time, Pongu has still been trapped in Kü’s mouth, unable to see what has befallen his companions. With all of Kü’s movement-- he has been jostled around the unkempt maw of the kobold-- and so, he shapes Kü’s saliva into a sort of fantasy subway loop in order to gain some balance. Once he accomplishes this task, he yells out for some sort of explanation but receives none as Kü is far too busy switching out the broken glass he’s holding for his Rod of Retribution. Knowing that this weapon necessitates that he be hit first; the kobold starts to swim toward one of the water spirits. He is rewarded when the fluid mass slams into him-- and he retaliates by shocking the shit out of it.

Kess turns her attention to the unaffected creature and bites out at it-- seemingly getting a mouthful of water but also stifling the flow and making the swirly monster smaller. It does not take lightly to this; choosing to bitch slap her as best as a waterlogged beast can. While the two enemies are distracted, Pearce closes the distance between himself and the sarcophagus, opening his shark-mouth wide in order to pull the wooden receptacle to the surface. Kess, noticing what Pearce is up to, drops her shark form in order to cast Dispel Magic on the coffin; then as Pearce sees whatever sorcery was placed on it dissipate, he crunches the soggy material securely in his jaws. Pongu tries another tactic, this time using Thaumaturgy to megaphone his voice through Kü’s sealed lips-- getting out a ‘What’s going on?! Let me out!” before he morphs into his starry form and forces light to spill between Kü’s teeth. When Kü tries to respond-- he drinks in water but lets Pongu loose.

We’re Gonna Need a Bigger Coffin

Now that the party is together again, Fight Mode is turned up to 11. Kess grabs a quarterstaff to protect herself as the sodden baddies continue to rough up the party. One reaches out for Kess only to hit Kü instead, and receives a jolt from the Rod of Retribution in return. Pongu shifts himself into normal size and heals himself and Kü-- then positions himself strategically between his friends to try and make heads or tails of the threat. The fairy-- having seen some shit in the feywild-- finally makes sense of what they are: water elementals who are presumably protecting the coffin that SharkPearce is now biting into. Kess moves closer to her shark-boy (where’s Lava Girl, amirite?) and attempts to shield him from the elementals who have now noticed that the coffin has left the lake floor. Despite Kess’ best efforts, they hit SharkPearce so hard he reverts into NormalPearce, and as such-- the coffin slowly drifts to where it sat previously. Pearce panics, pointing Iris at the submerging box and pulling the trigger, effectively blowing the top off and releasing the contents inside. He watches as some nondescript bags and an item shaped like a doorknob start to follow the coffin down.

Kess Polymorphs Kü into a shark before willing him to swim by her so she can grab his fin to pull her toward Pearce, who is now chasing after the falling treasure. Pongu heals his friends as they race off- just in time for them to be in reach of the water elementals once again. Kess swims over to the doorknob and snatches it-- and one of the elementals slams into SharKü and Pearce. The gunslinger holsters Iris and grabs the two drifting bags while Kü takes a bite out of the offending foe. Seeing the encroaching danger, both Pongu and Kü close the gap between their retreating friends. Kess grabs Kü, then pulls Pearce to them, and all that’s left is for them to find the literal shooting star in the water; Pongu. Pearce mounts Kü like a jockey on a racehorse and spurs him on towards their fairy friend, who poofs into his Big Boy Size (™, ™, ™) and tries to distract the elementals with Toll the Dead.

It’s not much of a distraction, but it does deal a bit of damage and allows him time to Enlarge Kü into a Megalodon-sized shark. Though the elementals are coming at him left and right, Kü manages to uphold his shape and catches Pongu behind his devastating teeth. He breaks the surface of the water and Kess shifts him once more-- this time into a giant eagle. The party starts to fly away, but one of the lachrymose attackers strikes out and causes enough damage for Kü to drop his flying form and become Giant Kü. Pongu ends the spell as he notices Kess turn into an eagle herself, and he, Pearce, and Kü are all now the perfect size (and shape) to take a ride on SouthKess Airlines in order to finally leave harm’s way and back towards Mardosta. As the foursome look back, all they can see are watery arms reaching out for the intruders they couldn’t catch.

Lifewell That Endwell

As Kess lands on the Shadowmore estate, the party collapses on the grounds in a heap. Pongu casts a bonfire to warm them up as they are all completely soaked from their time underwater. And, as a reminder, Mardosta is the frostbite capital of the world. They defrost themselves enough to head inside, and they take refuge on the fourth floor of the manor to go through their findings from the coffin. One appears to be an empty bag until Kess takes it and turns it inside out: it rains down coins and jewels and knickknacks, and it’s then she realizes that it is a Bag of Holding. Pearce opens one to find fine emerald gemstones that are almost ground down to dust. Pongu takes a closer look at the doorknob Kess had grabbed and is only able to tell that the artifact is dripping with conjuration magic. He relays this information to them and suggests they find someone more experienced in that field so they can understand it better.

In an act of patented Pongu kindness, the fairy tells the group that he wants to send an apology care package to the water elementals who were just doing their job and ended up getting their charge stolen. Pearce, indignant at the thought, storms off in a huff. Kü, uninterested in the current madness, excuses himself to take a rest, and Kess spends the remainder of the night counting up the coins that dropped out of their new Bag of Holding. In six hours’ time, she comes to the conclusion that they have just made 10,960 gold worth of coins in one fell swoop. After making a pile of their newly acquired riches, Kess sees two other inclusions. One is an exact match of the singing fish that Kü once took a bite out of-- and on a whim the changeling grabs the aforementioned no-longer-in-mint-condition trout and sticks the two together. Wondrously, this actually has a reaction. The space between the fish glows, they harmonize, and they are difficult to separate.

Pearce hears the ruckus and returns from pouting, asking Pongu if it would be possible for him to enlarge the fish like he had Kü so that they could emit a sonic blast that would incapacitate people-- but Kess ruins this form of an olive branch, preferring to keep the collectables intact. Pongu curiously casts Detect Magic on the pair, seeing instantly that the fish are affected by some sort of abjuration magic, making them all the more interesting. This realization is tabled, however, as Kess notices the other random item that had been hidden among the coins. She picks up a vial of shimmering pink and blue liquid, recognizing it right away. Scott had thrown LifeWell water in this undersea coffin. As they exclaim this very fact, Kess and Pearce work out that Pongu isn’t privy to their history with Scott. They catch him up, and the three agree in confusion that they have no idea why the bastard would have all this cool shit.

Quoth the Raven, “Peck”.

After delving into the story of The Feud With Scott, Kess then begins to explain both the LifeWell water and the void water that it eventually turns into. Pearce interjects that she even DRANK some, and that’s how she’s so intimate with it and-- to the surprise of both-- Pongu lets slip that one of the ways to get to the Feywild was to use the LifeWell water, so he is well aware of what it is. Of course, the duo have several questions for the fairy at this point, but the biggest one is how to use it for its intended purpose. Pongu turns to Pearce and reminds the gunslinger of the charge he once lost-- stating that the last time he travelled with the water it ended in disaster. Pearce deduces that the fairy isn’t interested in teaching them to use it so he won’t fail them as well, to which Pongu agrees, though he tacks on the fact that he doesn’t want to bring the wrath of the Feywild onto them if he were to bring them into its midst. The discussion is tabled for the moment, and Pongu brings his attention back to the emeralds in the other recovered bag. He tells the party it might be a good idea if they bring it to the jeweler they bought the diamonds from at the Night Market, and Kess and Pearce agree. The fairy then says that he thinks Kü has the right idea, and follows the kobold into a deep sleep. Pearce isn’t able to stave off the sandman either; he loudly asks for pancakes when they wake and then gets some much deserved rest.

This leaves Kess to her own devices, and she is on a mission. The changeling sneaks out of the shared bedroom and pads down to the greenhouse. She grows a flower and calls out to Ashe yet again. After a few moments of silence, a raven appears at the window-- pecking the glass to be let in. Kess does so, and it takes up residence next to the fresh bloom, awaiting a conversation. Kess sets up a ‘peck once for yes, twice for no’ system with Ashe’s bird form, going right into her inquisition. First she asks if he’s a fallen god, which earns her two pecks. She redirects and asks if he’s a titan instead-- and he answers in the affirmative. Processing, she wonders aloud if she’s still helping him, and he tells her she is. So, she presses on, requesting to know if he came from the Feywild. He didn’t, and the response disheartens her for a moment. She’s unsure how many questions she has left-- and it seems as though she’s asking the wrong ones.

She thinks of Kü, sound asleep in their room, and inquires if Ashe knew the Shadowmother. He at first pecks out a ‘no’, then looks away and changes his mind with one soft click of his beak. The rest of Kess’ queries come out in an anxious rush, interrupted only by the raven’s wings flapping and a sharp nip to her hand. One last question leaves her lips as she looks around the magnificent garden she had no idea she was growing. Kess asks him if he left the flowers in the greenhouse for her parents to know she was still alive and well-- and Ashe confirms this fact before disappearing out of the open window. Kess closes it and slowly treads to her own bedroom, away from the rest of the party, and lights a fire. Without a second thought, she pushes her window open in case the Ashebird wants to return-- then tucks herself into bed before drifting off into a dreamless sleep.

Platitudes for Breakfast

Unbeknownst to any of his soundly sleeping companions, Kü finds himself in an odd sort of dreamstate. He is in complete darkness-- from the ‘sky’ above him to the ‘ground’ below-- and all that really exists in this space is a campfire flaring in front of his face. He gains consciousness sitting happily on a log, roasting a bird on a stick. The quiet is almost peaceful, and Kü has almost pushed aside the trauma of the past week (if not his whole damn lifetime) until an excited voice comes from the fire. He recognizes it as Kerti-- who asks him how he’s holding up. The kobold answers truthfully, saying that he’s attempting to be optimistic, but the lack of ‘cool shit’ truly sucks ass (His words AND mine). Being in the battle earlier in the day made him feel incredibly limited in the ways that he could help his friends-- and it’s been a long time since he’s felt so weak.

Kerti questions what it is that he’s hopeful for, and this gives Kü pause. He tells her, “If I’m honest, I’m not sure. But-- if I don’t have hope… it’s just so tough”. With further introspection, the kobold goes on to say that he has a chorus of his own self telling him ‘I told you so’, and the hope is the only way to keep that at bay. Kerti listens to Kü and expresses understanding-- then confides that he is one of the best people she has ever seen, and that unfortunately life beats down everyone. It “beats all of them and takes that hope away”. The difference between these people and Kü, however, is that he has a chance to do actual good should he decide to. She explains that she wants to give Kü a choice-- and with that the fire in front of him extinguishes, leaving behind a gold ring inlaid with rubies.

The koblod reaches for the jewel, and as he holds it in his grasp, the blaze reanimates. Kerti says she can offer Kü his ‘cool shit’ back-- but she knows that he could make just as positive of an impact without any powers. Kü, having learned from his harrowing experience, asks her what she gets out of this deal with him, but Kerti laughs as best as a campfire can. She tells him it isn’t a deal-- it will be the two of them working side by side to make the world a better place. She explains that things are about to get a lot worse and reveals that Skugamor is still out there somewhere. This prompts the kobold to inquire if his real mom is still out there too-- but Kerti lets him know that she has already passed on. Finally having this confirmation, Kü makes his decision and puts on the ring-- awakening with his powers restored and the same adornment flashing on his scaly hand.

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TL;DR

KÜ GOT A NEW PRETTY SHINY *AND* HIS POWERS BACK IM NOT CRYING YOURE CRYING

In one episode we cycled through Jaws, Sharknado, AND The Meg. Just in time for spooky season!

GIVE AN OFFICIAL SASHOLE WELCOME TO SONNY AND PONGU! They have officially been added to the show as regular cast members and I couldn’t be happier.

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Take this as your Kü to catch the next session over at twitch.tv/lochness on October 20th at 7:30CST/8:30EST! And if you’d like to watch THIS episode, you can find it at the link below:

https://youtu.be/yUix-ZwNpmY

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secretadventuresociety · 3 years

Text

Episode 32 Recap

Oh-- I didn’t see you there, SASholes. I’m Bren, resident SAStorian and emotional snapping turtle. Welcome to Episode 32: The Discomfort of Peace.

Taste of Freedom

As Brienne leaves the foursome alone-- Kü flops down to the ground in disbelief and exhaustion as Pearce stretches his mouth menac-- OH! No! It’s a smile! The emo gunslinger is smiling! Pongu revels in the joy and relief radiating from the party, and Kess looks over to him and sheepishly tells him they’ve been ‘having some murders happening’. Unfazed, the fairy looks around the greenhouse and sees the flowers for the first time. He asks if there’s anything to be used in this plot-- and though Kess starts to reply in order to tell him where the usable herbs and such live-- Pongu does not wait for her answer. He flits from flower to flower, licking them as he goes. Pearce, in an unprecedented good mood, wonders aloud if the first order of business (now that the murder mystery has concluded) should be to take Pongu to find the special spices he needs.

Kü, however, reminds Pearce that there is a death cloud over Evercrest-- so there are PROBABLY more pressing issues. So, Kess does a verbal rundown of the current missions they’ve accepted. When she reaches the festival and the following ball-- Pongu gets excited and asks if he should start cobbling together an outfit. Kü, in true feral child fashion, pipes up with a story of how he ate a cobbler once… and not the kind your grandmother sat on the windowsill for a pesky cartoon cat to steal. Pongu assumes, probably correctly, that Kü would prefer meat pies (SAS now stands for SweeneyTodd Admiration Society) and Kess tunes out of the conversation-- focusing her attention on sketching out new formal wear for the boys. Pearce tries his best to sneak a peek at her work, but the changeling insists on surprising him.

Pearce checks in with Kü-- who has still not really REACTED to the nonstop trauma he’s been dipped in… which would make the absolute worst ice cream bar. I need you to envision the Pikachu with the M&M eyes from your childhood but make it kobold and like… shiny gems for eyes. Except don’t eat those. ANYWAY. So, our small scaly child is in shock, but is able to tell Pearce that his head feels lighter. Now, whether that’s because of the lack of voices or the absence of the weight of his mother’s skull, I’m not sure. I suppose time will tell. Kü goes on to tell Pearce that the gunslinger is the strongest person he knows-- even if he doesn’t have a muscle dick like the guy he fought in the Underfrost. You know-- Dickius Muscular. He would never make it into the WWE. Pearce tells the kobold that he has taught him he has strength inside of him that isn’t weapon-based… and Kü responds in kind with a heartfelt, “I hope when I get through this ‘not feeling’ thing that you’re there, and that Kess is there”.

Saffron Fat Acid Heat

As Kess assures Pongu that Kü is teaching the party more good than they’re teaching the kobold bad-- Pearce asks Kü what his opinion of their new fairy companion is. With only a moment of thought, Kü responds that he seems to be useful because he keeps them fed.. but also that he reminds him of Gus although he’s fundamentally nothing like Gus. Man, I miss our paternal tortle friend, and I think Kü could really use a Hugustus right now. With this endorsement, Pearce turns to Pongu and tells him that they have decided to like him **temporarily**, which honestly is a good way to treat anyone in your life. You can ALWAYS cut toxic people out, besties. Don’t forget that! So, knowing that they are making Pongu an honorary Nobodie-- Kess lets the group know that the ball is in about ten days. Calculating the time they have left, Pongu suggests checking out the X on the ScottMap to see what treasure awaits them.

The party agrees, though Kess requests a pit stop at the Shadowmore manor. She flies them all back to civilization, and they find Kess’ parents sitting down to dinner. They seem to be doing well, and ask what happened with Brienne. Everyone discusses the suicide ruling in a positive light until Pearce brings up Sienna-- who has left the manor unceremoniously… and SUSPICIOUSLY. Okay, she’s probably fine, but I HATE a loose end. Dangerously looking on the bright side, the subject is dropped so that Kess can introduce Pongu, who presents goodberry scones for the ‘rents to enjoy. Once the pair are sufficiently plied with good food and reassurance-- Kess and Pearce launch right into asking for money. The gunslinger quietly brings up the 200 gold he accidentally slipped the couple, which is readily given back to him. With Kess, however, they are less forthcoming. She wants money AND diamonds, and honey, your privilege is showing. Arthur shows a bit of caution, telling his daughter that she can use the Shadowmore credit but to not go absolutely wild with it. He then goes on to say that they can really only afford one diamond, but Kess makes a pretty good argument that she used her last one to revive their cook-- so he begrudgingly agrees to two.

Pearce, in an increasingly less rare moment of selflessness, requests the permission for Pongu to rifle through their kitchen and steal some dank spices. I said what I said. Norse and Arthur both assent, the latter stating that if the fairy keeps making such wonderful treats, he is welcome to anything they have. The four friends abscond to the kitchen, and Pongu turns into the heart eyes emoji immediately. They run into the undead cook-- well… Alive Again cook, this isn’t some Walking Dead shit-- and Kü apologizes to him for his ‘mother’ attempting to kill him. In return, the cook slices off some shawarma for Kü to enjoy; causing Pearce to worry they’ve spoiled the kobold with the splendors of the Shadowmore cuisine. Pongu introduces himself to the cook, who happily hands over Rocktopus fat and Mardostan saffron for him to experiment with-- and the fairy thanks him with more goodberry scones for all of the Masters of the House.

The Gang Goes to Therapy

As the Nobodies are preparing to head out on their adventure-- Kü laments about the abilities he used to have, and Pearce finally realizes that the kobold’s powers are gone. He suggests heading to Rook’s room to see about getting a replacement weapon for the moment; he doesn’t want to leave Kü guarded only by a rod and a broken glass bottle. Rook allows them entrance, and begins to work with Kü to figure out what killing machine will suit him best. It’s a whole Harry-Potter-In-Olivander’s ordeal as Kü sorts through swords, daggers, and finally a light crossbow that sort of fills the hole that the Blight Bow had left. Pongu asks how it feels and Kü-- REALLY fucking going through it-- doesn’t just stop at the feeling of the shooting device in his hands.

He asks the fairy if he knows the feeling where he’s been wearing a hat for a long time, and then he takes that hat off, but then he feels like he’s still wearing the hat. Pongu wordlessly agrees that he does, and Kü goes on to say that the Nobodies have worn a lot of hats-- but a big, heavy one has just gotten taken off so it feels like it’s still there. Sometimes, though, he remembers it isn’t and his stomach drops with the need for it. In this case, dear reader, the hat was literally a helmet made of his mother’s skull. Pongu understands, telling him that sometimes these sort of hats are armor, and that his feeling of emptiness is completely valid. In this somber mood, the four of them head off towards The Night Market.

On the way-- Pearce asks Pongu if he went to school to learn emotions. He explains that he, Kess, and Kü are going through a myriad of feelings at the moment, and that he’s not sure how they can push through them. Pongu places a hand on his shoulder and tells him that they’re doing their best… extending the good vibes to the family-trauma laden Kess and Kü as well. Kü starts crying, and in an attempt to cheer him up, Pongu asks if he likes spiders. Little did the sweet, caring fairy know, that’s our kobold’s number one fear, even over owls. The crying spirals into yelps of fear, and Pongu pulls the hem of his shirt up enough to whisper, ‘Not now, Nalani!’. A few, glittering spider legs scurry out of sight and holy SHIT THAT’S WHERE THE STAR OWL WENT I EXPECTED A STAR CAT???? Welp. Valiant effort that showcases just how much this group still has to learn about each other. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, nothing bonds people quite like trauma!

Diamonds and Dancing

Hearing the music coming from deep within the Night Market, Pongu splits from the party and starts to dance for the patrons of the bazaar. Kess, Kü, and Pearce look on for a moment before they start walking away in embarrassment. The fairy catches back up to them and Kü tells him it looked like he was having a choreographed fit. Pongu laughs and mentions that he can expect more of those at the festival they’re planning on attending. This triggers a memory for Kess-- who remembers that she has to have someone to do the ‘Opening Dance’ with at the ball, because that person used to be Xarus. Kü offers to be her partner, and she nods but shifts her focus to the jeweler’s booth they now find themselves in front of. Kess buys two diamonds on her parent’s credit and Pearce insists on using his reacquired gold to get one more.

The jeweler asks if they want the diamonds set in anything-- and Pearce entertains the thought of mounting one on Iris for easy healing, but the jeweler turns him down as it will be much more trouble than it’s worth. As Pongu networks with the frustrated shop owner, Kü and Pearce have a conversation about the necessity of keeping Kess alive. The gunslinger tells his companion that they will be ‘Double-Stuf Oreo-Fucked’ if the druid is taken from them. How Nabisco exists in this world I’m not sure, BUT it gets the point across for sure. This seeming disregard for Kü’s own life causes Pearce to worry that he’s being a bad influence for Kü, but the kobold assures him that he knows he isn’t MEAN, he’s just… mean but means well.

Pongu joins back up with the group and Pearce asks him if he’s ever been angry in his life, and the fairy answers that he once lost one of his charges-- and it took him many years to recover. As Pearce tells him that he can’t carry on as angry as he’s been living, Pongu uses this tale to guarantee that the gunslinger can get through it just as he has. Pearce stops digging into the past, and the party assesses if they’re ready to set off. They have a short (and I mean SHORT) conversation about returning to the manor to take Zev with them-- but Kess says he probably needs rest from their LAST outing, and they’d be back quickly anyway, so it was better to go ahead and make their way toward the X. That-- you know-- marks the spot.

Poor Unfortunate Souls

Kess once again shifts into her owl form after scaling another tower in order to have a better vantage point; then flies the three of her companions into the night. Two Mardostan guards ogle as the strange and hilarious sight soars above them, to which the Nobodies are completely oblivious. OwlKess, having a stellar memory and being gently steered by Pearce, takes them to a frozen lake with a weird rock formation jutting out in front of it. As they dismount-- they lay eyes on a plaque sitting in front of it. It reads ‘For the Souls Lost Here’, and lists several names underneath it.

Recognizing one of the inscribed monikers, Kess reads it excitedly aloud-- telling the group that it is the same name that was on the grave where they found the last treasure. Pearce looks around for a Hive symbol-- finding one hidden at the bottom of the plaque. At the same time, Pongu tries to detect magic on the formation, noticing that there is transmutation magic affecting it. Without a second thought, Kess dispels it-- and the ice below them starts to change. They realize that what they’re looking for may be at the bottom of the water, and the group weighs their options on how to get to it.

Kess suggests turning them all into sharks, but the party decides they want some of the members to have their faculties about them instead of being purely animalistic in their oceanic form. So, Kü winds up riding Kess like a cowboy at a rodeo, with the added bonus of a fairy shaped mint in his mouth. If this is too weird for you to decipher, just know that Pongu shrunk himself down to fit into the kobold’s maw-- and now I’m starting to wonder if Kü may have discovered Lucky Charms as well as Oreos in this episode. The motley crue drifts down to the depths and finds exactly what they’re looking for; a coffin situated directly in the center of the lake. As they try to approach it, however, they are blasted into by two humanoid shapes created out of undersea bubbles who are now blocking their way to the treasure.

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TL;DR

With Pongu here it’s like we’ve suddenly meshed It’s Always Sunny in Philedelphia with Star Vs The Forces of Evil and I’m THRIVING.

Can we get sponsored by some sort of snack food? Writing this recap made me fucking hungry.

GUYS ITS THE DIRTY BUBBLE! Where’s Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy?!

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The Nobodies have made a hell of a Kess, so make sure you catch the next session over at twitch.tv/lochness on October 6th at 7:30CST/8:30EST! If you’d like to watch THIS episode, follow the link below:

https://youtu.be/_Drc_jdUCXs

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secretadventuresociety · 3 years

Text

Episode 31 Recap

Get hype, SASholes! I’m Bren, resident SAStorian and manic goblin dream girl. Welcome to Episode 31: A Long Day’s End.

A Challenger Approaches!

With Mother (hopefully) vanquished and Kerti’s whereabouts unknown, our heroes hear fleeting whispers of ‘they’re coming, she’s coming’ whistling in the icy wind flowing through the cave. Sharing a Let’s-Put-A-Pin-In-That glance, the trio check in with each other because-- lest we forget-- they have just survived a run-in with an evil being who was masquerading as Kü’s mom. Sorry, did I say run-in? I meant battle for their lives. Anywho! They all seem to be physically unscathed, though that emotional trauma will last forever. IYKYK. Kü, of course, is the most affected, though his worries go straight to Kess, who Mother had just tried to strangle and not in the sexy way. Pearce attempts to make light of the situation by telling Kü it couldn’t have been too bad because Kess didn’t black out and see her friend, Ashe.

Which, speaking OF ash, the group starts smelling smoke. All of their combined hackles raise-- each probably thinking of a different entity. They really do be running into a lot of fire-related individuals, so this makes sense. When they actually SEE physical evidence of smoke trailing from further in the tunnel, they realize they might not be alone in this cave. Pearce elects Kü to lead them to the source, stating that he has darkvision and that will be to their tactical advantage. I mean, true, but this is also the helmetless kobold who just lost his ‘mother’ for the second time. I’m begging SOMEONE to give him a break. God, Lathander, DM, anyone?? As they go deeper, however, thin sheets of ice on the ceiling seem to be letting blue-tinted morning sunlight in. This literally lightens the mood until they come to a ledge-- one set up with a VERY recent campsite.

The party can tell right away that this is where the smoke has originated from, and looking closer, they spot a figure. A DANCING figure. What appears to be a four foot tall, staff wielding, gymnast built, olive skinned, winged individual is currently stirring an alluring pot of food while having the best time of his life. Understandably afraid, Kü attempts to summon his Blight Bow-- and nothing happens. Instead, he and Pearce decide to ambush the stranger, one going to the left of him and the other going right. Kü is spotted, and in defense, he grabs a broken liquor bottle (that he has been holding onto since the BEGINNING of this campaign, y’all), and chucks it at the head of his presumed assailant. In this instant, everyone braces for a fight, INCLUDING our guest star, Pongu, played by the fantastic Sonny-- who fans may recognize from the Hollaback Charity&D stream!

The Three Mardostateers

Kess instinctively heals herself as she notices her companions go into a fighting stance; having stayed away from the ledge. She was sure the humanoid meant no harm, but it’s hard to preach benefit of the doubt with a hotheaded gunslinger and a manipulated kobold. Instead of retaliating, Pongu tries to diffuse the situation. He laughs off the projectile Kü hurled and tells the group that they didn’t have to throw things if they wanted food; he has plenty to share. It’s then that the exhausted and hungry group smells the bounty for the first time. It is heavy with spices and looks like some sort of chunky soup. As we all know, food is the way to the heart, and apparently to the trust bone, too. Kess joins our apprehensive duo and the trauma of the past two days comes tumbling out of them.

Pongu listens intently, and when they’re done, calls over a beautiful, starry owl (named Nalani) over to him. Kü startles, having instant predator flashbacks. With a smile, the fairy tells his companion that this group needs some extra love, to which the creature replies (only to Pongu himself) that they both have a lot to give. Pongu notices Kü’s changed attitude and requests that the owl take some time away from camp to reform himself into something less intimidating, like a cat. The kobold relaxes as the animal leaves, and Kess changes the subject. She begins to question Pongu about his presence in the cave-- and mentions that she thought it belonged to someone she knew. Pongu assures her that he is just passing through, and had chosen the cave to take respite in.

The fairy goes on to explain that he is from the Feywild, and that he has been searching all over-- sailing the seas-- and winding up on the material plane for the ingredients for a perfect fey wedding cake. He used to be an adventurer long ago-- now at an estimated 300+ years of age-- but now is a professional chef and ‘fixer of things’. This draws Kü’s interest, and he wonders aloud if Pongu might be able to repair his mother’s skulll-- but quickly has this hope dashed when Pongu asks if the kobold has all of the pieces. Pearce, feeling Kü’s disappointment, offers to go back and see if there’s anything left, but is denied. Having gotten Pongu’s life story, the group feels the need to share as well. They first attempt to lie (except for Kess) and say their names are Uk and Ferdinand [I will let you guys which one is which] and that they are all three from Mardosta. The truth quickly comes out, however, and Pongu takes it in stride, excitedly asking if Kess (the true Mardostan native) can get him rare spices from the area.

A Lesson in Bonding

Taking a moment for herself, Kess separates from the group and goes to the neighboring hot spring. She discards some of her clothing and jumps in-- drifting to the bottom. Once she reaches the soil there, the druid draws on her inner power and grows a flower. It is still black with a white iris, but the floret adapts to its watery surroundings-- taking on an aquatic formation. Kess takes no time to marvel at it, instead using the rest of her depleting energy to focus on the plant and attempts to contact Ashe. After a bit, she realizes there isn’t going to be a response. So, the changeling flips off the bloom and pushes herself to the surface, dressing once more and cursing under her breath.

In Kess’ absence, Pearce and Kü warn Pongu about Skugamor and give him a head’s up about Kerti (who we really haven’t gotten to know yet). The gunslinger sighs and half-heartedly complains that everyone has voices in their heads except for him. The fairy listens gratefully while taking out a Santa-Claus-worthy bag of toys to keep his hands busy. He explains that he likes to fix up old toys and give them new homes-- and Kü asks if he has a paddleball related plaything. Pongu brightly hands him a Bilboque (I really didn’t want to write cup-and-ball. But you guys made me anyway. Good job) and takes to it instantly.

Sensing how worn out the adventurers are, Pongu casts Tiny Hut, creating a dome with a starry ceiling and a light scent of flowers swirling through the air. Pearce sees Kess step into the space and he greets her, hugging her to him as she spirals in a panic attack. He tells her that everything is going to be okay, and that he feels that is true because he has not been this comfortable anywhere but Mardosta. The contact soothes the changeling, and she steps back from Pearce and truly looks at him for the first time after their ordeal. Her eyes widen at the state of his hair; and the gunslinger grabs his things to run to the hot spring himself to shower. Pongu stops him, saying that he thinks he could fix the dirty, snow-wet mess, and Pearce relents. The fairy uses Shape Water as a kind of gel to mold the unruly locks-- and when Kess lets Pearce check it in the shine of her canteen, the gunslinger huffs off; happy with his look but pissed that he has nothing to be pissed about.

Look at the Stars

Using his misplaced anger as motivation, Pearce begins to craft more bullets for Iris from the components he purchased at the Night Market. He ends up making fifteen functional bullets, only wasting one defective try at the beginning of the process. The gunslinger thinks of his father and how Pearce used to watch him go through the same activity, and the fire of his rage is stoked by the realization that he actually learned something from the deadbeat. What was it that Smash Mouth said? When the hits start coming they don’t stop coming? Whatever it was, I’m THERE in this DnD stream. Someone make them stop.

As Pearce is artificing the daddy issues away, Kü tries to bring his Blight Bow out one more time. When it still doesn’t happen, the kobold admits to Kess that he has Good News and Bad News. The good news is that he believes Mother to be truly gone, and the bad news is that this means that his powers seem to be gone. Kess reassures him that they’ll figure things out; and Kü distracts himself by catching Pongu up on their exploits so far-- from Evercrest’s dying king to the vampires of New Hexton. The kobold then switches gears and asks the fairy about his parents-- with whom Pongu seems to have a semi-okay relationship. Kü tells him that he’s just trying to feel out where his trauma is-- and that he wants him to be as broken as he is. Big ouch.

Kess takes over at that point, trying to explain LifeWell water to their new friend. A combination of exhaustion and frustration overwhelms her in the middle of it, however, so she excuses herself to sleep it off. She ends up under a constellation of a scorpion, and Pongu suggests to Pearce that he choose one that meant something to him to watch over him as he slept. The gunslinger curls up underneath an arrow (yes, weapons are soothing, just ask my barbarian) and Kü doesn’t even bother looking up-- as soon as his head hits the floor, he drifts off into a deep rest. Pongu watches over them for the four hours they stay unconscious, making them a special (giving them ingame boosts!) bready treat. When they wake up, Kess eats hers and Pearce tosses Kü his-- who catches it deftly in his waiting maw. They take in Pongu now making pancakes for the group, and realize they have some decisions to make.

Case Closed

After throwing out their veritable to-do list, Pearce bangs the butt of his gun against the cave floor, commanding the attention of the other three speakers. He makes an executive decision that they should all go check on the Shadowmore family. They have no idea if they are still safe from Skugamor, and Kess needs to speak with them before they either stay for the Mardosta ball or move on to their next task. The Nobodies look toward Pongu, gauging his interest in joining them for a time. The fairy packs up the leftover food from the night before-- leaving a note that anyone who comes by it is welcome to it-- and agrees to travel with the trio. Kess warns Kü before she shifts back into her owl form, which turns out to be large enough to carry her humanoid companions.

They make a long, cold flight back-- and all seems quiet at the Shadowmore manor. The group makes their way to the fourth floor (you remember, the PARENT wing) and finds it empty. Searching frantically, they finally see them standing in the greenhouse, marvelling over Kess’ new and hydraulic flower. Norse turns around and exclaims her thankfulness for her daughter’s safety, counting the number of still-alive-friends with her, and greets the sunny newcomer. OMG. Did you see what I did there? Sunny cause Pongu is a literal ray of light but also-- Sonny?? His player?! That was COMPLETELY UNINTENTIONAL! WITNESS ME! Fine. I digress. The party catches the elder Shadowmores up to speed just before Brienne, our lovely tabaxi detective, strides into the greenhouse. Pongu introduces himself as Brienne looks over him curiously, and the investigator sighs, grateful that she doesn’t have to question yet another for Xarus’ murder. Hearing of this foul play for the first time, the fairy looks over to his new friends and says, “There’s a lot of death around you three, huh?”

The Nobodies stammer in unison, attempting to laugh off this outburst. Brienne pays it no mind, pushing forward to ask to speak with the group. She tells them that Xarus was found with poison in his system, and had a snapped neck-- probably from strangulation. The tabaxi had spoken with onlookers at the Underfrost as well as the cooking staff at the Shadowmore estate, who both told her that they experienced a similar phenomenon with shadow magic. It’s then that they come clean, handing the detective the page on Skugamor (which Brienne RIGHTFULLY chides Kess for stealing) and Kü recounts his almost-lifelong-ordeal under her influence. With a small, conspiratorial smile-- Brienne concludes that Xarus’ death must have been a suicide. She tells the group that if they did not take care of Skugamor that she would be unable to protect them-- but if the entity was really and truly gone, she was more than happy to close the case. She bids them farewell, and as they all let loose a breath they didn’t know they were holding (hello, YA roots) and Pongu smiles widely at them. He professes that he will be there for this courageous party until they no longer need him.

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TL;DR

Give a BIG SAShole welcome to Pongu and Sonny! You can find him on Twitter: @SonnyPlays and tell him Bren sent ya!

Wait, where’s my starry owlcat!? How do you pspspspsps a fey being?!

Things are looking up for the Nobodies. Be a shame if something happened...

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Don’t Pearce your pants in anticipation, but you can catch the next session over at twitch.tv/lochness on September 22nd at 7:30CST/8:30EST! If you’d like to watch THIS episode, follow the link below:

https://youtu.be/pXQxmi9dGbg

0 notes

secretadventuresociety · 3 years

Text

Episode 30 Recap

It’s that time again, SASholes! I’m Bren, resident SAStorian and Kü enthusiast. Welcome to Episode 30: Fire and Bone.

“Who Broke the Sky?”

On the walk back from the Night Market, our heroes take in the bright swirls of the aurora in the Mardosta welkin. Despite the heaviness of the evening, the sight brings on conversation about the coming festival-- which will necessitate new clothes and money to buy them with. Kess makes sure to impress upon Pearce that he can’t wear his red paint-stained mask, and so the gunslinger turns to Kü and asks if he would take off his helmet; his reasoning being that it would be ‘weird’ if he wore it. Now, I know what you’re doing here, Shooty Boy, and it’s admirable. However, if you ever tell my son how to dress again I will rip your character sheet up in front of you. ANYWAY. The matter is dropped as the party’s attention once again returns to gold (and honestly? Mood.) and they decide to go seek out Norse and Arthur to find out if they found the note and attached moolah that Pearce accidentally slid under their door. They find the couple lounging on their floor-- the whole floor that they have to themselves-- with cocktails in hand. Arthur immediately offers them a ‘Mardosta Mule’, which excites Kü. He turns to Pearce and exclaims that he’s had horses and donkeys, but never this ‘newfangled fusion’.

As they all get turnt, Norse admits she did find the letter and assures the group she did NOT tell Brienne about it, just in case. Relieved, Kess explains the mix-up, then asks what her elders DID tell the detective. Norse reports that they were relatively honest, up until the point where they were questioned about Xarus’ presence in the house. They covered well, however, telling the investigator that he came to work with one of Kess’ brothers. The investigation does not seem to be closed, but the parents think that they are in the clear for now. Kess asks about Vendreth’s reaction, and Norse isn’t as forthcoming. All she will say is that he was fine, just upset that he wasn’t told sooner. Placated, the adventurers start in on their Madosta experiences, which to be fair, are limited because of… you know… all the murder. In any case, it makes a perfect venue for distraction as Pearce and Kess allow the nine year old kobold to drink TWO mules-- which for his body weight HAS to be more like TWENTY-TWO mules-- so that they can possibly talk him into removing his helmet. His skull. His-- skull helmet. Skelmet.

Kü gets to the point where the alcohol is giving him the sads instead of a buzz (which, RELATABLE, amirite?) and he tells everyone he’s just trying to ‘not think about how I feel or feel about how I think’ and realizes the mule is donkey-kicking him right in his racehorse heart. I think I tried too hard on that last sentence but I’m leaving it. Fuck you. In an attempt to make Kü feel better, Kess brings out one of our favorite callback jokes-- the singing bass. She tosses it at the kobold and in his drunken haze he bites at the writhing meat, coming away with a mouthful of dead scales. Did you guys know that thing was an actual, enchanted fish? ANYWAY. With this being the nail in the coffin of the worst day of Kü’s life (which INCLUDES his mom dying), our little buddy nopes out to sleep off the alcohol, leaving Pearce and Kess to their own devices.

The Suicide Squad

Being wary of the dozing kobold, Pearce quietly tells Kess that if Brienne comes after Kü to incarcerate him; he would take the fall for him. Kess counters that they probably have ways to see if he’s telling the truth-- but then realizes that they could eliminate the problem altogether if they separated the being from Kü. The fishsticks from earlier betray our druid-- the combination of the grease and stress forcing them from her stomach and onto the nice guest room floor. She flings a sidelong look at Kü and decides that their ‘stealth speak’ may not be enough to escape Mother’s… uh. Not ears, but-- whatever an evil being uses to listen. I didn’t take Eldritch Anatomy. The pair take off toward the greenhouse, Kess instinctively leading to the place she feels most at home. Once inside, they rehash all that they know about Skugamor.

Pearce looks at the scene around him, soil spotted with Kess’ white flowers with the black iris, and he takes off the dried remains of the one he picked and places it with the others. He asks if Ashe is of a similar type as Mother, and Kess denies it. She says that she thinks her power isn’t tied to the being, but it does help him in some way. This inspires her to grow a flower to try and talk to Ashe to get help with their situation, but no answer comes. Pearce, irate, takes hold of it like a microphone and shouts into it, obscenely demanding attention. In a panic, Kess draws the rest of her strength and grows another flower-- and when it only waves in response, an insidious idea blooms. The changeling tells Pearce she saw Ashe when she was dead (unconscious), and without further explanation the gunslinger refuses to help one of his best friends die (get knocked tf out). He does, however, offer to take her to Rook’s room (you know, where the poison is— the poison to kill Kess. Kess’ poison. THAT poison) so that they have someone else to assist should the whole dying (slight coma) thing go wrong.

As they’re headed back into the house already, the duo go into the guest room to let Kü know their plans. Pearce wakes up the kobold and Kess breathlessly explains her brain blast, asking him if he wants to join them. The sleep immediately leaves Kü’s drooping eyes as rage fills its place. His voice booms with pain and accusation-- unbelieving that she could even think of killing herself (taking a quick nap with no breathing) because of him, especially after she told him she wouldn’t leave him the way that Jendee, Dorf, Augustus, and his mother had. He pointedly asks her ‘Do you know how I would feel if you died trying to fix me? Not that I NEED fixing” and as the anger gives way to sadness, he mutters that he was better off asleep. Effectively having talked Kess out of being near-suicidal, Kü takes this opportunity to relieve himself of his party’s company while he cools off. He storms out and starts to stalk the halls for his nightly watch.

Küdini

Now alone, Kü registers Mother attempting to speak with him. She extinguishes all the firelight around him, and the kobold lets loose a bloodcurdling scream for help. Kess and Pearce emerge from the guest room, the former running to all of her relative’s rooms to ensure their safety, and the latter posting up beside Kü. Everyone on their floor seems to be fine, but before they can let a sigh of relief loosen from their lungs, a scream rings out from downstairs. If you’re feeling deja vu, rest assured, it’s about to get REAL different. Pearce yells at Kü to go outside, but as he tries to comply, it’s soon clear that he and his party members are dashing toward the scream instead of going their separate ways. The lights continue to go out as they bolt through the halls-- stopping finally as the group comes to see two hired hands; one standing frozen in horror… and one being constricted by shadows.

Not knowing what to do, Kü tries to counterspell the tendrils of darkness. When nothing happens, he instead casts fly on himself and throws his tiny body at the Drow chef in front of him-- who is suspended in midair, choking from the pressure on his throat. He succeeds, but only inasmuch as he gets him on the ground. Kü watches as the light dies in the chef’s eyes-- not unlike the lantern fires that now flicker to life around them. Kess, acting quickly, brings out a diamond and uses Revivify to save the fallen housemate. The druid then heals him for good measure; giving him no time to recover from his experience before she and Pearce give him food and drink before asking him to recount the events of the night. He doesn’t remember much, and before the two can dig in deeper, Norse pulls Kess aside to ask what the actual fuck is going on.

Her daughter tells her about Mother, about Kü’s past, about their current predicament. She fears Kü is a warlock, and that the shadowy magic comes from his patron, who is wreaking havoc in their home. Mind clouded by fury, Norse reveals that she was plotting to kill Xarus already, and with this secret out-- a wave of calm washes over her-- and she marvels at Kess having enough magic within her to save a life. It’s then that Norse ushers the younger Shadowmore away to check on her friends. She sees Pearce, and they link up to head outside for Kü. However, once there, they see no trace of him. He’s vanished.

I’ll Fly Away

Unbeknownst to anyone, Kü used the remainder of his Fly spell to escape soundlessly from the Shadowmore manor. It carries him to the treeline of Mardosta, and once it fails, he falls into the snow, sobbing. His shaking arms reach up and lift the helmet from his head-- bringing it to face him. Nothing happens, and the kobold tries to form one word. His heavy heart crushes the ‘why’ rising from his gut, and he lays down on the unforgiving snow. Kü squeezes the skull to his chest and sleep claims him. The green and purple of the aurora above stick behind his eyelids as they close. They twist into a nightmare of screams, slaughter, and ash until everything goes still; melting into a small campfire. The warmth radiates from his mind to his body, and an excited voice calls out to him. Kü attempts to respond, but there is some sort of disconnect. The cry implores him to find them-- admitting they’ve been watching him for some time and are anxious to meet him.

Kü awakens, afraid and unsettled. He reaches out to Mother, who tells him that she’s tired and will talk to him in the morning. The kobold, however, has other plans. He refuses to wait, and Mother fumes at the fact that he thinks he is in any position to be demanding when he took away her kill, but she relents. She asks if Kü doesn’t want her to get stronger anymore, and he timidly replies that he does, but he needs to know who she really is. Her anger rises as she fires back the same question to him-- accusing him of not acting like himself, of being stupid. In recompense for his insolence, Mother tells him that now, HE needs to spill blood for her once a day. If he doesn’t, she will be forced to, and she won’t show any prejudice. Seeing no other way out, the kobold agrees, placing the skull back on his head and sits in silence. After a couple of hours watching the night sky, Kü grows hungry and he decides to try and make his way (SOMEHOW) back to the mansion.

While all this is happening, Kess and Pearce are panicking. Kess shapeshifts into a giant owl and persuades Pearce to hop on her back. In this higher vantage point, they find the missing kobold within twenty minutes, and Kess swoops down to intercept him. Kü assumes he is about to be eaten until he sees Pearce, and Kess drops her form before he can run away. Things escalate quickly from here, and I bet you can guess whose fault it is. Pearce whips out his gun and points it at Kü, assuring the kobold that he doesn’t want to hurt him, but he needs to remove the helmet. Kü relents, placing it on the ground. Kess and Pearce take in their friend’s visage for the first time. He sports small, nubby horns and a long, healed scar from the top of his head to his nose. The gunslinger asks for one reason not to shoot the skull, and Kü tells him he doesn’t think it would stop Mother. The two quickly realize, however, that Kü doesn’t need to be wearing the skull for his powers, which seems to soothe them somewhat.

Mommy Dearest

Because the hits to my heart never stop, Kü voices his decision to leave the group. He tells Kess and Pearce that he wants to go home to his cave, and they agree-- excited to go with him, thinking digging into his past may help. The kobold shakes his head and clarifies he wants to go alone; he is afraid their timers will go faster if they stay with him-- and that as long as he’s in Mardosta, people will continue to die. He realizes he can let go of his anger at Gus, who only left because he thought what he was doing was right. Pearce tells Kü he has effectively paused his timer; and he and Kess aren’t going anywhere. Kess says they can find a way to break it, but Kü dejectedly murmurs, “She’s the only one who won’t leave. I can’t let her leave; not again’. So-- they then discuss other options; Kü wonders if he can find a Scott-like douchebag (and Xarus, just saying) to take out every day to keep Mother away.

Kess brandishes the page she ripped from the library book and hands it to Kü. He sees the illustration of the struggling victim of the shadows but is unable to read the words; so he passes it off to Pearce to read for him. Afterward, Kess asks the kobold if he believes the entity in his mind to still be his mother. Kü launches into the story of what happened to his real mom in answer; saying that a giant spider had stalked him and that his mother gave up her life for his-- and months later he found her skull, picked clean from other scavengers. That’s when he heard her, telling him to pick up the skull and take her with him. Kess, unnerved by the story, switches back into her owl form and flies the trio to a cave she used to hide in-- covered in dusty furniture and knick knacks. They start a fire with the forgotten relics, and from the flames comes the voice that Kü heard in his dream. She introduces herself as Kertilios, encouraging Kü to call her Kerti. They are able to communicate this time, and Kü learns that she is the disowned daughter of Skugamor, the Goddess of Warmth, the Daughter of Firelight. She tells him they can get rid of Mother together, and he took an important first step by removing his helmet; they’ll need to destroy it.

Overwhelmed, Kü admits that his waking hours hadn’t been very good to him, and though the sleeping hours weren’t much better, he needed some time away from the hurt. The kobold hands off his helmet to Pearce and lies down by the fire. Pearce lets Kess sleep as well, watching the skull for an hour or two before the changeling rises from her sleep, unable to breathe. The gunslinger instinctively attempts to shoot the skull, throwing an apology to Kü as he does so. Kü, however, does not hear it-- his mind is an unending echo of questions. The Shadowmother heard Kü talking to Kerti, and she’s not happy. In terror, Kü makes an effort to banish Kess to another plane of existence long enough for her to be out of Mother’s grip, but it fails. Pearce continues attacking the resilient bone, and Kess shapeshifts to loosen the hold the shadows have on her. Out of magical options, Kü gives Mother a warning. He tells her, “Let go of my friend, you FUCKING BITCH”, and when she doesn’t, he pulls the last bead from his Necklace of Fireball and the helmet goes up in flames; Pearce narrowly missing secondhand damage. The shadows recede violently with a howl, and Kü drops to his knees, hearing a small “You’ve done it” from Kerti in his mind.

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TL;DR

I was not ready for Kü’s Molly Weasley moment, y’all.

I think this is an important time to mention that self-harm does not fix anything; even fantasy problems. *cough*Kess*cough*

Can we be done with the Sad now?? What do you mean we still have DADDY ISSUES to explore?!

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Hugs and Kesses my friends, and catch the next session over at twitch.tv/lochness on September 8th at 7:30CST/8:30EST! If you’d like to watch THIS episode, follow the link below:

Secret Adventure Society | Session 30: Fire and Bone

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secretadventuresociety · 3 years

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Episode 29 Recap

Hi, hey, hello SASholes! I’m Bren, resident SAStorian and your best friend. Welcome to Episode 29: Mother, She Wrote.

Treehouse of Horror

We catch back up with the Nobodies as Kess exits her greenhouse, letting Detective Brienne collect her thoughts after the trio’s separate testimonies. The first thing she sees is Pearce anxiously pacing with Kü trailing behind, mimicking his every step. Cutting off their questioning glances, Kess tells them to grab their coats and leads them to a treehouse in the backyard of the manor. Now, if you’re picturing something simple, made out of wood, maybe even for children-- you must be a new listener! Hi, and welcome to Mardosta’s Thieving Veterans’ (or, more simply, MTV) Cribs: Kess Edition. This ‘treehouse’ is an extravagant (albeit rundown) tower, secluded from the rest of the house. Kü immediately takes off to scramble to the highest point, and his companions climb after him-- winding up in a circular level with a small fireplace; because lest we forget-- Mardosta is fucking COLD.

Kü casts a magical bonfire into the fireplace, fixing his gaze on the blaze (come for the recaps, stay for the mad rhymes, amirite?) as Kess makes a perimeter check to ensure they were not followed, nor being listened to. Once she is satisfied, she turns her attention to the group, curious about how their interviews went. Pearce tells her he had been relatively candid-- only leaving out the part where her parents are criminals, which Kess is thankful for. Kü remains silent, and Kess worriedly attempts to get his attention. Kü answers her while still staring at the flames-- asking if someone will throw a log in so that he can stop ‘concentrating’ on the spell. As soon as the requested wood catches, Kü drops his spell, and relaxes just enough to tell Kess that it must have gone well because Mother told him Brienne didn’t suspect a thing.

Even Pearce’s outraged cries regarding the fact that Kü outed the gunslinger as the most violent man he’s ever met (come on, Pearce, the boy has met all of THREE men in his short life) go quiet in this aftermath. The group can’t fathom why she would say such a thing if they hadn’t done anything to Xarus. Kess asks if they can talk to Mother-- but responding to Kü’s panicked face, she recorrects and implores him to try to talk to her. Kü worries she may not answer, but calls out a tentative “Mom?” regardless. Moments pass before Kü’s mind echoes with a full-bodied voice asking what he wants. The transition from Mother’s whispered tones to this powerful resonance does not escape our kobold, and it shakes him just as badly as if he had stepped into the emerald-drenched quarters of a mighty wizard, but Kü presses on.

“You’re Better Than I Am.”

With difficulty, Kü manages to inquire if Mother had anything to do with the death of Xarus. When she goes momentarily silent, Kü continues nervously on, reassuring her he won’t be mad, no matter her answer. Mother’s response drips with disbelief. She thought he had been with her that night, but he only remembers sleeping off his ass-kicking. Mother mutters a pleased ‘Interesting.” and talks down to Kü; telling him that since she is growing in strength she needs time to stretch her legs-- and as such-- she did indeed murder the loathesome dickbag. With an air of gloating, Mother croons that as Kü gains power, so does she. Now. You know I love for you all to read my recaps. However, I need you to go to the SAS Youtube (link at the end of my ramblings) and scrub to 45:30. You can literally watch Kü’s mind backfiring as pieces of this puzzle refuse to line up. He can’t understand why Mother killed something (BARELY someone) that they didn’t even eat, and you know, he’s not wrong. It’s wasteful.

Mother can only say that the slaughter sustained her in ways he couldn’t even imagine, and her enthusiastic lilt grows angry and gritty as she scolds Kü. She tells him he hadn’t complained when she used her talents to protect him in the fighting pit. The kobold physically recoils-- immediately ducking his head and begging her forgiveness for being ungrateful. He thanks her for taking care of him, and she spits a venom-laced acknowledgement before taking her leave from the conversation. Kü looks up at his friends, afraid to divulge what he’s learned. Pearce pinkie promises him he won’t be angry-- and once Kü reveals Mother DID in fact murder Xarus (possibly to consume his power?)-- the gunslinger points his weapon into the air and fires it, dust and rubble raining down on him while he screams in irritation, “I’m so happy you were honest with me!” and subsequently mumbles about their imminent doom.

I need to give a trigger/content/hard-hitting roleplay warning before this paragraph. If mental and physical abuse is something you’re uncomfortable reading about, please feel free to skip to the next heading. Cool? All right. Pearce and Kess begin to question Kü about Mother, and he gets increasingly more uncomfortable after each question. Has Mother ever fought with him? Hurt him? How does he feel when Mother gets upset? Kü goes mostly silent, replying with no’s where appropriate and ending on his view that his feelings don’t matter-- and that he’s never considered himself his own person. Kess reminds him of things that separate him from Mother; his love of shiny things, his fashion choices, and his friendship with them. As the kobold reaches up to wipe a tear away, Mother’s skull shifts ever so slightly to display a sizable, healed scar on his nose. Kess gets down on his level and tells him she believes him to be Good (™, ™, ™), and Mother has nothing to do with that. Pearce even brings the kobold into a hug and whispers the same sentiment into his ear. Kü’s confidence is bolstered, but tampered down by the fear of Mother overhearing and punishing him.

Kü, Interrupted

Pearce, having calmed down, admits to Kü that he’s not angry about what Mother did, but instead HOW she went about it. Her carelessness (I mean, what did we expect from a disembodied voice wreaking havoc in our terrible little angel’s mind) has put them in a precarious position. The gunslinger does, however, chime in with Kess to console Kü that none of it is his fault. Dear Reader, once Kü started in with, “If I had just stayed on the island none of this would have happened.”, I was absolutely hyperventilating from sobbing so hard. I could barely hear between my wheezing cries, but the new SAS captions made sure I knew that mention of the island caused Kü to realize Mother’s body is still there-- and he shuddered to think what might happen if it was destroyed. At this point, my eyes were swollen and my nose was running, yet I made out the abject fear rolling off of Kü when Kess suggested maybe it wasn’t his actual mom he’s been talking to, and offered to help him take off the skull to be sure.

I held my breath (or was my throat just closing up from emotion?) as I waited for Kü to answer. He ducked his head and shook it in refusal, having been pushed too far. So, the group did the only thing they could think of. Redirected the thoughts of the kobold to temptation of-- you guessed it-- meat. They had all slept past breakfast, and in all the commotion, had not realized the grinding emptiness of their guts. Kess promises the party fish, so they climb down from the ‘treehouse’ and make their way inside. As they enter, however, they are waylaid by an unfamiliar figure on the ground floor of the house. Well, unfamiliar to all but Kess. She brightens and calls out to him. It’s Vendreth, resplendent in his enchanted wheelchair. They catch up for a moment, Kess makes introductions, then the baron confesses he’s making a house call to talk to her mother.

Kess jumps at the chance to escort him to her parents’ floor-- he glides along in his chair as Kü chatters about fish while ascending the stairs, but before they can take Vendreth any further, Norse comes from around the corner on the second floor and intercepts them. Norse steals him away as he calls for some tea, and maybe a light snack of fish. Seems Kü rubbed off on him. Our heroes slink away; Kess wishing to be in the room where… well, whatever is happening. I tried, Lin. I tried. Anyway, Pearce encourages her to ‘go be a Shadowmore’ and he and Kü will try their hand at waitstaffing. So, Kess races to catch up with the pair of Adulty Adults (™, ™, ™), only to be turned away. Her mother tells her she needn’t worry herself with the discussion, and tells her to rejoin her friends.

Li’l Butler

Surprisingly, Pearce leads Kü without incident around the maze of a mansion to the kitchen, wherein the gunslinger immediately begins rifling through the cabinets. He finds two crystal chalices, and prides himself on his excellent glassware taste. Kü, feeling left out, climbs his way to one of the top shelves and tosses a claw out to grip a similar cup-- almost falling and bringing fragile glass down on top of him. However, he smoothly recovers, climbing down just in time to see Kess leading Pearce in making a pot of tea. Our gruff friend throws a tea towel over his arm and places the chalices and teapot on a tray; hellbent on playing butler for their important visitor. The trio walks carefully back up to the room Norse and Vendreth have claimed. Pearce hands the baron one of the fancy glasses and begins to pour the boiling water into it. Everything is going well, Pearce is making a stunning impression-- and then the chalice shatters from the unyielding temperature of the tea. The room goes silent as Pearce screams an expletive, apologizes, and bows himself out of the room.

Kess is unfazed; using this opportunity as an excuse to escape the house. She once again orders the boys to grab their overcoats and proudly announces they’re going to the library of Mardosta. On the way there, the party stops by a food stand and procures buckets of fish sticks. Yes, you read that right. Fish sticks, the way Mother used to bake. Kü goes somewhat silent, enjoying his long-awaited meal, and Kess uses his distraction to divulge to Pearce what it is they’re going to be looking for. She hopes that there will be some sort of clue to not only Mother’s identity, but also that of Ashe. The changeling notices as they walk that people seem to be recognizing Kü from his epic showdown in the Underfrost. She smiles and keeps it to herself as she is pulled from her reverie by Pearce voicing a need for ammo. She agrees to take him to the Night Market once they finish researching. Kü, coming up for air from his bucket of grease, feels that good good food coma coming on. Pearce tells the kobold they are basically going to ‘The Napping Place’.

Entering the gargantuan (FIVE floors, guys. Who has that many books?!) marble building, Kü seeks out a warm cubby near a fireplace to curl up and sleep off those yummy processed seafood spears. Pearce and Kess split off, one headed to search for fallen gods and the other to hone in on beings that are known for their close relation to shadows. The gunslinger finds three novels of note; skimming them and cramming them under his arm to have Kess read into further. However, our Druid has much more luck. A book dedicated to ‘ancient evils’ catches her eye, and as she flips through it, her gaze lands on an illustration of snaking shadows squeezing a humanoid as they appear to howl in pain. Reading the section, she learns about ‘The Shadowmother’, also known as Skugamor-- a being of unknown origin who has the power to contort and control shadows. Her focus dims after this section, brain buzzing with terror, and so her search into Ashe is less satisfying. However, she does hit on an interesting piece as she focuses on fire itself-- learning that there are beings (Titans and Quasigods) who are made of the remnants of slain victims of gods or dead gods themselves. WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?!

Pearce’s Parable

Pearce and Kess find each other and share their pertinent findings. Kess decides to check out the three books Pearce brought to her, but steals a second pass at the tome with the information on Mother. She soundlessly rips the informational page from its binding and slips it into her bag. I mean-- I knew her family was made up of criminals but…. DEFACING A BOOK, KESS? What kind of MONSTER are you?! So, Book-Ruiner Shadowmore heads to the librarian to get at least SOME knowledge legally, and at the same time, Pearce comes across Kü still sleeping soundly. The gunslinger attempts to scoop up the kobold without waking him, but as soon as Kü is in Pearce’s arms-- he startles. Pearce assures him everything is okay, they found what they needed and are about to leave. Kü, without missing a beat, brings a small hand up to Pearce’s cheek and asks the gunslinger to tell him a story. Remember how I told you to WATCH that sad moment? Well here’s a palate cleanser! Go to 2:39:39 and hear the entirety of ‘The Hungry, Hungry Kobold’.

The fairytale is good enough that it lulls Kü back into sleep, and Daddy Pearce carries him outside and waits for Kess. When she leaves the library, they fall into step together and make their way to the Night Market. It is an impressive, overpowering bazaar-- stalls snuggled up to each other with a glass roof overhead, the calls of merchants hyping up their wares ringing out, and the faint smell of animal feed permeating the air. Despite its sprawling floor plan, it doesn’t take long for Pearce to sniff out the gun show. The proprietors he finds do not have anything that will work for Iris, and so the gunslinger requests the components to make the ammo himself. As the shopkeeper mills around to fulfill his request, Pearce notices that all of the guns being sold in this part of the market are branded with the curlique GG insignia of his father’s weaponry business. He pays the shopkeep extra to give him the name of the supplier of her guns-- and she warily imparts that a contact in Nevyra keeps them stocked. This is, apparently, where Pearce’s deadbeat dad hails from. Can we REALLY tackle mommy AND daddy issues in one episode?!

As the group leaves the market, Kess wakes Kü up to have a midnight snack of… more fish sticks. Between bites, all three discuss their wild dreams at sea, and how they mostly revolved around people they care about dying, aside from Pearce-- who was completely alone. As Kü admits that he dreamed of killing both of his companions while Mother cheered him on, Kess has a brain blast. She turns and makes a beeline straight back to the Night Market-- seeking out Greg’s Wonderful Magic. There, a charming southern gentleman asks how he can help, and Kess requests a Speak With Dead spell scroll. The scroll is there, however after some debate, the Druid realizes she is unable to cast it. Thus her plan of speaking with Mother’s skull is momentarily foiled, and so the three of them return to the manor to close out the longest day of their collective lives.

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TL;DR

Listen, I’m curious to see what would happen if they tried to talk to Kü’s helmet-- but I can only handle so much trauma in one episode! Please let me BREATHE!

Apparently you shouldn’t pour boiling water into glass. Thank you for this lesson, DM.

If you are a victim of abuse, know that it is not your fault and you are not alone. And thank you to the SAS crew for telling this important story. https://www.crisistextline.org/

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Pearce be with you and catch the next session over at twitch.tv/lochness on August 25th at 7:30CST/8:30EST! If you’d like to watch THIS episode, follow the link below:

Secret Adventure Society | Session 29: Mother, She Wrote | CW: familial trauma and mental abuse

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secretadventuresociety · 3 years

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Episode 28 Recap

Hail and well met, SASholes!! I’m Bren, resident SAStorian and your favorite Dungeons and Dragons fangirl. Welcome to Episode 28: In The Shadows.

Ding, Dong, the Dick is Dead

We pick back up with Kess and Pearce standing inside the bedroom of the now dead Xarus. An awkward silence tugs between our two heroes before Pearce raises his hand to Kess in the request of the highest of fives. She leaves the boy hanging (bad form, Kessandria…) and attempts to discern how long her ex-fiance has been deceased. Be it nerves, shock, or pleasure-- neither she nor Pearce can pinpoint an estimated time of death. However, Kess still begs Sienna to hand over her diamond ring, which she eventually does once the changeling reveals her plans. Kess takes the engagement jewel and casts Revivify. The gem shatters, covering a still-lifeless bag of di-- well. Too soon to speak ill of the dead? A moment passes, and no change. It has been more than the sixty seconds required to bring a soul back with this low-level incantation.

Pearce pulls Sienna aside and summons his best Poirot-- interrogating her despite her (seemingly-- we trust no one!) fragile state. She admits that she was deep in sleep until Xarus began ‘trembling’, which she later clarifies as something adjacent to choking. The writhing shook her awake, just in time for her to witness her fiance leaping off the bed and collapsing almost immediately. Being unable to recall any other details, the (SEEMINGLY) broken widow asks for her ring to be returned, not questioning its ruined state. She then promptly exits the room to hurk the awkward dinner party’s contents onto the hallway tile. Kess looks after her, consumed with guilt for being unable to bring back the son of a bi-- still too soon? You guys are no fun.

Pearce listens as Kess repeats how Xarus wasn’t acting like himself-- but as she finishes, he attempts to reassure her that he deserved it, and that he was probably a bastard his whole life. Which-- frankly-- I agree with the gunslinger here. This snaps Kess out of her spiral long enough that she casts Detect Magic and roams the bedroom. The most ominous thing that stands out is a lockbox under the bed. Pearce, after noting that Xarus’ side of the bed is still warm, takes off to the bedroom he claimed with Kü to grab his lockpicking tools. He checks in on the kobold, who (in Pearce’s own words) is resting like a ‘horrifying little angel’ as Kü ferociously tears into some dream animal or another in his sleep.

Honey, I Traumatized the Kids

As Pearce meets back up with Kess at the scene of the crime, he notices the whole fam damnily is in the threshold. He pushes past, handing off his thievery set, and watches as Kess masterfully opens the glowing (possibly enchanted?? We have no idea!) box to reveal…. PAPERWORK! While every accountant is realigning the pearls that they’ve clutched-- let me tell you the most important thing in this mound of dead trees: the deed to the Shadowmore estate. The druid then spots a bottle of wine on the nightstand on Xarus’ side of the bed, which she is easily able to tell has not been tampered with in any way. Satisfied with her search (for now!), Kess walks out of the room to greet her mother-- who steps closer to her with a noticeable limp. S U S. Norse goes into mom gear before her daughter can question the ailment; demanding a magistrate be summoned and all incriminating evidence be hidden on the family wing of the house.

As Kess moves to carry out the latter of her mother’s checklist, she grabs her mother by the elbow and asks her what happened in hushed tones. The matron changeling tries to lie at first, stating that she fell down the stairs on the way down to Xarus’ bedchambers. Kess, however, sees through this lie and presses her… almost immediately wishing she hadn’t. Her mother seethes through her clenched teeth that she and her husband were very relieved to have her back home, so they were taking advantage of their alone time. You know. Naked. Thankfully, Pearce pulls Kess out of the embarrassment bubble to be able to speak with her alone as they walk up to the fourth floor and start to hide criminal paraphernalia.

The two discuss possible culprits-- their minds going towards the supernatural. Pearce wonders about Mother and her growing presence as Kess frets about Ashe and his love of flame. Zev, having yoinked the wine from Xarus’ room, gulps it in a chill silence until the pair notice he’s there. A thread connects in Kess’ mind, and she asks her brother how long Rook had been making potions. Ever helpful, Zev shrugs and assumes about a year, then excuses himself to retire to his room. Having finished their task, Pearce and Kess decide they should do the same, probably a fantastic idea since neither of them got a long rest. For safety’s sake-- they make their way to the room where Kü is still sleeping soundly so that the whole party can be together.

That’s it, You’re all Going to Therapy

For some reason, our gunslinger decides it’s a fantastic idea to reach out and touch Kü’s faith; though the moment his finger grazes Mother’s skull, Kü awakens with a start. He mumbles in confusion about the dream he had just woken up from, then notices the darkness still blanketing the windows and asks to sleep until morning. Kess and Pearce take no time at all to wait for the kobold to get back into his REM cycle-- talking conversationally about Xarus and his fate. Kü overhears this and asks Kess which of her brothers died, not recognizing her ex-arranged-beau by name. Finally, Kü discerns that she means the ‘dickbag’ (SEE I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS THAT) and promptly is uninterested. Kess asks Kü if Mother has ever come out in his sleep— he craftily avoids telling the whole truth by just admitting she is doing things she never has before. In the midst of his friends, who worry Mother may punish him for speaking out of turn, the kobold shrugs the interaction off as a dream and nods back off.

Having been newly spooked, Kess and Pearce delay their plans to rest and try to kill a little time (woof, that may be an unfortunate turn of phrase here) waiting for the magistrate. They go downstairs on a search for Pearce’s clean travelling clothes and a midnight snack. As the gunslinger dresses, Kess stares at his stained mask. She asks why there’s red marring the fabric, and he reveals that when he was first recruited into his band of bounty hunters that he attempted to make the much older members respect him by plastering the face covering with paint to simulate blood. Poor buddy. For obvious reasons, it didn’t work, but it still looks damn cool! We stan our emo king. Kess breaks off toward the kitchen and makes quite the shark coochie (if you know, you know) for the trio to share once Kü actually wakes up.

Pearce forgos any of the furniture as they make it back to the guest room, preferring to instead sleep on the floor to be alert in case of any danger. Hey-- hey buddy? Hey pal? Pearce, I hate to tell you this, but you gots some PTSD*! Our Trauma Boy (™, ™, ™,) hears footsteps with his ear resting to the floor and so is unable to really sleep. Kess builds a pillow fort around them all (while we’re diagnosing each other-- can we say arrested development?) and the overwhelming smell of raw meat (which Kess grabbed specifically for Kü) wakes up our favorite tiny terror, who digs into the offering, refusing to look a gift meat in the mouth although he was pretty sure he dreamed having a conversation with his companions. He does, however, ask if someone is truly dead-- and once confirmation is given-- he turns to Pearce and asks him how he killed Xarus, causing both indignation and amusement.

Sleeping Together

Kü tells Pearce that he would have lost a bet had he made one on who killed Xarus-- and Kess Dramatic Hamsters her gaze towards the gunslinger, having been reminded of how much money he lost her in the Underfrost. Pearce angrily replies that he left her money, but when Kess’ stare turns from intense to confused, he describes the note and the door he slipped it under. Kess recognizes the details as her parents’ room, and Pearce flies into a panic, sure that Arthur and Norse will see it and believe he is bribing them to keep quiet about his (nonexistent) part in Xarus’ murder. And what do we do when we’re upset, boys and girls? We take a Stress Nap (™, ™, ™,)!

Our bleeding heart kobold agrees to watch over his sleeping friends, and leaves Kess and Pearce safely in their pillow fort-- closing the guest room door and pacing back and forth in front of it. Energy unwavering even after two and a half hours, Kü keeps up his post even as Norse makes her way to him, looking for the dosing duo. Kü takes special care to let her know that her daughter and Pearce are in the bedroom sleeping together-- and that he heard strange sounds coming from inside. After asking her if he should check on them, Norse awkwardly murmurs that someone is asking to speak with the three of them as soon as possible. Kü interprets ‘ASAP’ as ‘As Soon As Pearceandkesswakeup’, so the three of them descend downstairs after their long rest is completed.

They notice the mansion staff hanging around, and enter Xarus’ chambers to see a tabaxi woman smoking a pipe standing inside. Kess immediately recognizes her as Mardosta’s local private detective and fellow Xarus-hater; Brienne. Now, I really hate to say ACAB to this probably lovely catperson; but ma’am, do we really think smoking WHERE SOMEONE WAS MURDERED IS A GOOD IDEA? Ever hear of crime scene tampering??!! Where’s David Caruso when you need him?! ANYWAY. Brienne asks for a good place to interrogate the trio, and Kü offers up Kess’ greenhouse. As the changeling leads the group there-- she outlines the rules for her safe space which basically boils down to NO TOUCHY.

Who Needs Natural 1s With Brains Like These by Fall Out Boy

Pearce pushes Kü to go first, and so the kobold grabs a turkey leg for a snack and heads in with the detective. Brienne asks about Kess and Pearce-- wondering what their relation to each other is and their feelings toward Xarus. Kü explains they’ve been travelling together for ‘some amount of time’ and that Kess was mad about Xarus being in her house, but also sad for the same reason. He then moves on to Pearce, saying that the gunslinger absolutely hated him. This, of course, attracts the tabaxi’s attention-- she asks if Kü believes his friend to be violent. Kü emphatically asserts that he is the most violent man he has ever met. Brienne takes thorough notes and Kü continues through the dinner, the Underfrost, and his brutal ass-kicking that led to him going to bed almost instantly once they returned to the mansion; but he does admit that he heard Kess and Pearce talking in hushed voices about someone being dead while he was in between sleep and waking.

The detective trades Kü out for Pearce once the kobold starts to question her about the animosity between her and the deceased-- primarily asking where she was at the supposed time of his expiration. She humors him, stating that she was at home-- passed out after her own nighttime festivities. Kü leaves the room, but not before hearing Mother congratulate him for keeping the tabaxi from suspecting anything. When Pearce enters the greenhouse, Brienne reveals Kü’s accusations about his character and asks if he had any ill will toward Xarus. Pearce, having no reason to lie, lets her know he absolutely did. This brings the tabaxi to ask him outright if he killed Xarus, to which he assured her he didn’t; no matter how much he may have hated him. Brienne is curious as to why the gunslinger hated someone he just met-- and Pearce explains that Xarus treated him and his friends like shit, and he absolutely would have retaliated had the asshole tried something in order to protect them. Brienne jots more notes down as she goes through Kü’s account; adding in Pearce’s own details (the scream, the candle blowing out), and expresses curiosity regarding the kobold’s helmet and disposition.

Pearce does admit that he would describe Kü as ‘feral’, but that he was in no state to hurt anyone or anything that night. Oh, and that YES, the skull on his head is VERY real. In return for these candid answers, Pearce asks why Brienne couldn’t stand the now dead dickbag-- and she tells him his family made their fortune collecting and selling tabaxi fur, and says she wasn’t always known as Brienne; a change that Xarus refused to acknowledge. Pearce then sends Kess in, who again recounts the night’s events-- adding that Sienna (the S E E M I N G L Y upset fiance) looked disgusted with her husband-to-be, feigns ignorance as to why Xarus would have set up residence in her home, and leaves the detective speechless as she divulges that she attempted to bring her ex back to life. Before leaving Brienne to her thoughts, Kess makes sure to impress on her how her friends may seem rough around the edges, but they have good hearts. CUE THE TEARS AND CONTINUE THE INTRIGUE!

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TL;DR

Have you connected any dots yet? Please let me know who you think the killer is because I’ve got nothing.

Reminder to never dig into your parents’ business…. or under their bed. Just trust me.

*Here is a link to the article describing the coping mechanisms of children affected by trauma (cough--PEARCE--cough): https://starr.org/2013/posttraumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd-reactions/

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Come and drink the Külaid and catch the next session over at twitch.tv/lochness on August 11th at 7:30CST/8:30EST! AND if you’d like to watch THIS episode, you can find it at the link below:

https://youtu.be/tGhm_Qq0smw?t=1254…

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secretadventuresociety · 3 years

Text

Episode 27 Recap

What’s up SASholes?! I’m Bren; resident SAStorian and note-taker extraordinaire. Welcome to Episode 27: Under New Management.

The Xarus Problem

We last left off with Kess staring down her jilted ‘lover’ (I mean, if you can call an arranged husband a lover), Xarus, who had just revealed he now owns her childhood home. Well, I say home. I guess childhood MANSION is technically more correct. Anyway, as this red-headed scum delights in Kess’ confusion, a flock of guards file in behind him all dressed in black; anticipating an attack. True to form, Pearce leans over to Kess and asks if he should shoot him, and she waves him away, blowing the whole thing off as a joke. Turns out that ole Xarus lost his humor in a tragic Born-Without-A-Soul accident, so he stares back flatly and invites the group to dinner; suggesting the trio clean up beforehand.

Kess loudly announces that her mother (Norse), Zev, Kü, and Pearce are going to… help… brush her hair? And Xarus just accepts it?? So the definitely-not-suspect group file up to Kess’ bedroom, led by Norse. The party takes in their spotless lavish surroundings in a mixture of disgust and disbelief-- and then they find their destination. The room might as well be adorned with a neon sign reading ‘Messy Kessy’. The colors inside are dark and earthy, with flora and drawings of fauna littering the walls, lit by a majestic bay window. In an awkward silence, Kü compares the living space to the shit-covered walls of his cavern home, then switches gears to ask if all fathers come with so much tension.

Norse gently explains that Xarus isn’t Kess’ father, but was her husband-to-be, who recently took over the house and the super-secret ‘family business’. Surprise-- Kess’ family is a band of merry Robin Hoods who keep Mardosta eating with silver spoons. Despite being there the whole time— Norse doesn’t quite understand how the boring, ginger-haired square of a man grew the balls to overthrow their reign of thievery; but she momentarily morphs into fantasy Vin Diesel (not actually, I know it’s a little weird ‘cause technically she’s a changeling and very much COULD do that) and tells Kess they can handle it As A Family.

An Iris by Any Other Name

After assuring The Nobodies aren’t going to kill Xarus in his sleep, Mama Shadowmore pulls Kess aside and leads her to the family greenhouse. It smells overwhelmingly like smoke, and as they enter, Kess sees hundreds of her black and white flowers. You know the ones. Norse then tells her how they tried to cover Kess’ absence, the way she would go into the greenhouse to just sit somewhere that smelled like her daughter (OUCH, dude), and all about the first night she saw one of the Irises appear. From that night on, Norse and Kess’ father Arthur would sit and wait for a flower to bloom; knowing somehow it was connected to their daughter’s safety. Now, if you thought your teeth were rotting out from the sweetness already-- that’s when Kess hugs her mom for the first time in years, and sometime during the embrace, Norse drops her high elf facade and embraces her daughter in all her changeling glory before Kess grows a flower just for her. Touching stuff. You crying yet? No? Just me?

Dry those eyes, though, because now we’re on to some shenanigans. As Kess and her mom are off repairing their relationship, Pearce and Kü attempt to make themselves at home. After grabbing a drink with Zev, the pair stake out a guest bedroom with an adjoining bathroom. Pearce ushers Kü inside and offers to guard the door as he showers, which the kobold has CERTAINLY done before. Tons of times. In his underground home. Despite this setback, Kü figures out the tub quickly, but the challenge becomes when he needs to drain the water. He finds a bucket, remembers that the toilet gets rid of its own fluid, and scoops up the grimy bathwater like a scaly Mickey Mouse. But that’s not all. Getting to the bottom of the tub, he notices a chain floating in the dregs and hauls out a crowbar to liberate it.

Pearce, hearing a sudden thump and fearing a sneak attack, manhandles his way into the bathroom and finds a wet Kü who laments about the ‘necklace’ at the bottom of the tub. The gunslinger quickly realizes it’s a chain for the drain (heh, a rhyme) and shoves Kü out. He then takes a pile of Zev’s clothes he found and dresses, appalled at the deep-v tunic and skin tight leather pants he is now sporting. Being his only choice, he chastely covers his bare chest and spikes his hair, coming out of the bathroom to help Kü shine his helmet. Yes, that helmet. Pearce is making Mother’s skull GLEAM. Kess, after realizing she could just change her form in lieu of ACTUALLY bathing, brings Kü a long silk tunic to replace his dress and steals a white button-up from her dad for Pearce. Now they’re Awkward Dinner Party ready!

Evil Exes, Amirite?

In case you’ve forgotten, Kess has a Brady-Bunch-worthy family. She runs into her dad, and later all three of her brothers: Zev, his twin Voss, and Rook. However, these aren’t all of the introductions the party is subjected to. As they enter the dining room in what I can only imagine is Oh My God They’re So Hot Slow Motion (with Kess donning her owl, Tibbins, for intimidation), they lay eyes on an unfamiliar and unimpressed elven woman who Xarus introduces as Sienna-- his current fiance. Well, he sure did move on fast. Between Sienna’s eye rolls, Kü’s harried feasting, and EVERYONE’S overwhelming discomfort, Xarus describes how he grew suspicious when Kess disappeared. After a little digging, he found out about the family’s arrangement with the city’s mayor, Vendreth; how he caught her criminal parents and promised them protection if they used their forces to help his failing city thrive.

Kess doesn’t see any issue, but Xarus laments that the townspeople have no idea who is running the show. It’s a clear threat, as Kess realizes the denizens would run them out of Mardosta if they knew the truth. Happy with himself and his mind games, Xarus invites his elven mistress to retire to their chambers with him…. if you know what I mean. She emotionlessly agrees, and the two leave the family alone. The Nobodies excitedly chatter about their exploits; no adventure going untold. Kü even introduces his mother, Marrow, and spends a moment praising Norse for being a good mother too. Pearce changes the subject to their treasure map, showing it briefly to Voss. He has no idea what the X’s could mean, but implores them to keep him updated. Norse then asks how long the party is staying-- enticing them with an upcoming festival that is SURE to have stickmeat. Kess proposes they stay for a while, saying they could make use of the family library and also figure out what the X closest to Mardosta hides.

Pearce not-so-subtly asks about the family’s trading habits, mostly trying to gauge if they have any dealings with his absent father. Turns out this ain’t an arms race, it’s a goddamn scene, and with routes halted in Larsham and Evercrest, the business has slowed down to a trickle. Kess breaks the business talk with a proposal for her companions and her siblings to go out on the town, and so they all prepare for a night in Mardosta. Pearce grabs his gun, Kess raids Rook’s training room for daggers (noticing a hefty potion collection), and everyone bundles up for the biting weather as they walk to the docks.

The Return of Nice Ghost

Kü spots a stationary boat in the water, with a rumpled dragonborn climbing out of it. Sus. As they get closer, they notice that it’s not a boat at all, but a disguised opening to a meeting spot called ‘The Underfrost’. Kess leads them down the cavernous tunnel lined with torches until they reach the bottom. Once there, they feast their eyes on merchants, a bar, and an imposing fighting pit-- all teeming with figures of all races. Kü jumps on the chance to, as he so eloquently describes it, ‘fuck shit up’; racing off with Voss and Zev in tow to sign up to battle. Kess instructs Pearce to place bets for the both of them as she grabs drinks… which turns out to be a monumentally bad idea. Pearce throws down 500 gold on Kü for himself but-- without express instructions from the druid-- dumps out her bag and wagers all of her 1,275 pieces of gold.

It turns out Kü is the next challenger to face… get this… Dickius Muscular. Is it his fantasy God-given name or a stage moniker? The world may never know. In any case, fervent hands push him toward the pit-- one attempting to remove his helmet. In retribution, Kü bites the tip of the offending person’s pinkie off, keeping his adornment as he summons a flood of shadows from it to cover him in armor. Thus the fight begins, and the massive goliath Dick...ius attacks our boy Kücifer with a mace in a blinding rage. Kü retaliates with his Bonemerang-- and when that does less damage that he expected, he summons Nice Ghost to keep him company. The spectral being chases after the goliath relentlessly; booping him any time he can come close. Dickius flees from the spectre, pursuing Kü-- who wreaths himself in shadow and disappears. Out of the darkness comes two fireballs, liberated from the kobold’s dwindling necklace.

Amazingly, this blast does not take his opponent out-- so Kü chugs a health potion as his vision suddenly goes green. He smells smoke and hears Mother in his head, asking to take a turn. He can do nothing but stare at Dickius as the shadows leave Kü to snake around the goliath and squeeze. Though deeply in pain, Dickius breaks free and heaves one last attack at Kü-- rendering him unconscious and sending Nice Ghost back into oblivion. With that, Kess rushes in to heal her friend, momentarily pissed at Pearce for losing all her money. Back on his feet, Kü shakily requests to be taken to bed, and the gunslinger scoops him up like a child and carries him; only to be repaid with a flow of vomit down his back as the kobold recovers slowly from his trauma. Still, Pearce keeps his composure and reassures Kü that he fought well, but begs him to try to sleep.

The Scream Heard ‘Round the Mansion

The group groggily returns to the family home and branches off to their respective rooms. Pearce gently lays Kü down and tucks him into bed before searching for a piece of paper and a writing utensil to pen a short note. He slips 200 gold into it and scrawls ‘I’m sorry’ onto the page. He slips out of the guest room to try and find Kess’ door-- and the one he picks, unbeknownst to him, is her parents’. However, our boy tried his best, so he returns to Kü; watching him as he sleeps. This dad-like worry Pearce has got going on makes me SOFT, y’all. I need MORE.

Kess, however, forgoes sleep for a time and instead grabs a bottle of wine from the kitchen. She takes it to the greenhouse and attempts to grow her second flower of the day-- which she has never done before. It takes a little more effort, but it does sprout, and she pleadingly asks to speak with the friend she grows them for. She waits, but no answer comes. Kess finishes the wine and stumbles up to her room, leaving the window open for good measure. She and Kü are sleeping soundly while Pearce fitfully wakes up from his perch on the sleeper sofa every so often to watch Kü’s chest rise and fall (PASS ME THE TISSUES). During one of his half-awake moments, Pearce watches the candle in the room extinguish and simultaneously hears a scream coming from downstairs.

Leaving the passed out kobold, Pearce takes off, only to be intercepted by Kess, who we all know has the passive perception of a dog waiting for you to drop that pepperoni on your pizza, Karen. She pulls him into the stairwell and they end up at the opening of Xarus’ chambers-- Sienna standing speechless in the doorway. When she ends up being less than helpful, the duo slip into the room, immediately laying eyes on the lifeless body of Kess’ failed groom. I wish I could say I was at all upset about this revelation, but I would be lying to you, dear readers. However, we now have a murder mystery on our hands! WHODUNNIT?!

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TL;DR

Our heroes attended a dinner party more uncomfortable than all of my family reunions put together. Talk about second-hand anxiety!

Kü is the Underfrost Fighting Pit Champion in my heart and I hope he gets a rematch against… *checks notes* the Goliath’s dick.

RIP, Xarus— ex-fiancé and stick in the mud. See you in hell.

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Kess’ed Be and catch the next session over at twitch.tv/lochness on July 21st at 7:30CST/8:30EST! AND if you’d like to watch THIS episode, you can find it at the link below: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xyi5JkW-SNY

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