doctorjulie
Dentistry's Darling
Julia (Julie) Lawrence, Doctor of Dental Surgery.
Marvel Based Indie OC.
Follows from bloodymushrooms.
1761 posts
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“Josh?” A gentle tap on their bedroom door. “You alright?”
@fuascailt
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She eased herself down slow into one of the soft arm chairs, before she folded her hands in front of herself.
“How aggressively I went in on you, without knowing the full scope of context.” She paused. “I’ll stand by what I said, at the end.
But I shouldn’t have said it in the way I did. And I shouldn’t have said it tonight.”
She nodded slow. “I was upset seeing Josh towntrodden. I felt like he had no one in his corner, and I went right for you.
You and Josh have years of history between each other, and I talked with the assumption that I could understand all of.”
She pressed her lips together, watching the older man’s eyes. “I’m sorry, because doing that was hurtful. I didn’t think I could be hurting you.”
Later in the evening, after the quiet settled, she thought she heard footsteps in the living room. It reminded her to water the plants, and.. something else she knew she should do.
In luck as she went to fill her small ceramic watering can- the spout looked like a sunflower, she spotted Henry in the living room.
“Hello.” She gave a small smile. i come in peace.
“Find everything okay?”
A pause. “I owe you an apology, for earlier.”
@rxctifier
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Later in the evening, after the quiet settled, she thought she heard footsteps in the living room. It reminded her to water the plants, and.. something else she knew she should do.
In luck as she went to fill her small ceramic watering can- the spout looked like a sunflower, she spotted Henry in the living room.
“Hello.” She gave a small smile. i come in peace.
“Find everything okay?”
A pause. “I owe you an apology, for earlier.”
@rxctifier
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And then..
“anne.” she spoke softly, the name.
A ghost that had been lingering here far longer than Julia had. Some things aren’t for us to know.
She heard the warning, didn’t know if she could make a promise, but she nodded to show she took it to heart. “I… don’t think he’s a bad man.” Truthfully she didn’t know if he was a good man either.
But that was the point maybe. She didn’t know.
What she knew was, “I hate seeing him shrink like that. Josh. Even at the wedding, he just…
You know?”
How could she stand by?
And then.. she went all attack dog mode. And Josh was driven further into himself. And Henry.. Well, she didn’t know.
“No, no. Please don’t, you’re a guest. I’ve got it.” Julia rose to her feet with a stifled grunt, help from pushing down against the table. “I work in a kitchen, what’s a few plates.” A strained smile.
She worked delicately gathering up utensils, like the fallen quiet was something fragile to avoid splashing into with clacks and clangs.
Her brow furrowed tightly, and her dissatisfaction at her train of thought broke her of that goal, though.
“…I did my high horse thing.” A grimace of realization. “I’m, the new one.
It’s the first time I’ve seen you all together… and I acted like I had all the answers to make them better.” Fuck. Now she wanted to rip her own face skin off.
“Josh would be the first to tell you about the high horse therapist-speak.” Goddd. “I just hated seeing Josh so downtrodden and then my.. targets, they just locked on the source.
Plus talking about kids, and parents and it just-“ Her hand absently on her stomach again. She couldn’t blame the hormones, not entirely, but oh were they jetfuel to just that kind of fire.
“And I didn’t even think I could be hurting him.
Or Josh.”
She’d been too busy being sure she was right.
“I owe them an apology.” A glance up at the mother for confirmation. “I owe Henry an apology.”
"—It was my idea."
Suddenly the mother spoke up, firm voice yet still.. haunted.
"I asked, Henry to get him in." everyone had a choice and this was hers. "He wouldn't speak to me. I didn't know where he was. And the times he did call was to ask for money..." with the pretense that it was for school literature that she knew she had given to him to spend on drugs. But once she pulled the breaks on it, she stopped.
Don't call me if you're only going to ask for money again.
"I thought, he would be safe there."
@doctorjulie
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Julia feels… she doesn’t know what to feel, watching Henry go. Hope, maybe? A bit drained, mostly.
She sniffed, grimaced at the pang of a cramp in her side, holding the side of her bump as it faded away. She looked up at Moira.
“I overstepped.”
She blinked a few times, taking a sip of juice. “I know I did. I get carried away..”
She glanced over to where Henry was walking.
“I just, think they can have it. Better, than this.”
She rubbed her palm against her forehead, feeling a tension headache coming on. “They’re so damn similar, aren’t they?”
"—It was my idea."
Suddenly the mother spoke up, firm voice yet still.. haunted.
"I asked, Henry to get him in." everyone had a choice and this was hers. "He wouldn't speak to me. I didn't know where he was. And the times he did call was to ask for money..." with the pretense that it was for school literature that she knew she had given to him to spend on drugs. But once she pulled the breaks on it, she stopped.
Don't call me if you're only going to ask for money again.
"I thought, he would be safe there."
@doctorjulie
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She held her breath, closing her eyes just a moment to hear something that just felt a little more sincere than all the defenses had been.
All the self-protection.
Remind her of someone? You bet.
He never rescinded his stance. So I went along with it.
I thought because he wouldn’t fight for it, it meant he didn’t want it.
“What if… he never thought to rescind his stance, because he saw you going along with it?
And thought, you wanted it that way?”
If you’re very small, and the world’s first lesson to you is that it is big, and cruel, and will take— when do you learn to fight for what’s important to you?
“If he wanted it different.
And what he needed, was for you to be the first one to take the step to cross..” She sighed. “That, divide. To be more to each other.
Could you do that?
Would, you?”
A pause.
“Because I think, out of all the family of his I’ve met. You might understand each other the best.
And I apologize, but.” She didn’t think she was wrong.
“I think maybe you’d both like a chance at that.”
"—It was my idea."
Suddenly the mother spoke up, firm voice yet still.. haunted.
"I asked, Henry to get him in." everyone had a choice and this was hers. "He wouldn't speak to me. I didn't know where he was. And the times he did call was to ask for money..." with the pretense that it was for school literature that she knew she had given to him to spend on drugs. But once she pulled the breaks on it, she stopped.
Don't call me if you're only going to ask for money again.
"I thought, he would be safe there."
@doctorjulie
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But you are! She wanted to scream. But you are, you are, you are! Can you not see how he waits for your every word, how carefully he guards himself watching you, how badly he needs to protect himself from your disappointment? You're a father figure to a fatherless boy whether you like it or not, and you flaut it. You break his heart.
He let that agent's family down. He let himself down.
He let that agent's family down.
Someone died.
When Josh had been sent into the field.
When I say you go, you go. She remembered that was his condition. That he couldn't focus on what he needed to do, if he was too worried for someone he cared about.
"It was your responsibility to keep him safe." She echoed quietly, wiping her tears, she watched the older man. "And in spite of your best efforts.." She tried to surmise.
"You fell short."
A shake of her head. "Must've broken your heart." How couldn't it? "If you cared about him, then.. it must've really hurt." She breathed, giving a couple of small nods.
"Have you ever told him that?"
"—It was my idea."
Suddenly the mother spoke up, firm voice yet still.. haunted.
"I asked, Henry to get him in." everyone had a choice and this was hers. "He wouldn't speak to me. I didn't know where he was. And the times he did call was to ask for money..." with the pretense that it was for school literature that she knew she had given to him to spend on drugs. But once she pulled the breaks on it, she stopped.
Don't call me if you're only going to ask for money again.
"I thought, he would be safe there."
@doctorjulie
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Julia looks up when she feels him release her hand, feeling her stomach sink with worry and a twinge of regret. She watches him retreat, and would like to go after him,
only more often than not in moments like this, that would do the opposite of help. He'd feel safer alone.
She looked back over at Henry, pulling in her lower lip and giving her head a soft shake.
"He's scared of you.
These- things, that you use against him, make him scared of you.
Is that what you want?" She asked, a helplessness in her voice, like trying to plead with him. Or Moira, his mother, would she stay hidden behind her hands.
"Why does it have to be all his fault?" She looked between. "If there's a share of responsibility to be taken, to keep him from being crushed under it..
Why won't you do that??"
She chokes up, embarrassingly. And she's still looking to the parents for some kind of an answer to how this could be, how Josh had started off alone in the world,
for so long,
and then again?
"—It was my idea."
Suddenly the mother spoke up, firm voice yet still.. haunted.
"I asked, Henry to get him in." everyone had a choice and this was hers. "He wouldn't speak to me. I didn't know where he was. And the times he did call was to ask for money..." with the pretense that it was for school literature that she knew she had given to him to spend on drugs. But once she pulled the breaks on it, she stopped.
Don't call me if you're only going to ask for money again.
"I thought, he would be safe there."
@doctorjulie
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She put her hands up in front of her, palms out to show him she’d come in peace. “….Henry, I’m not accusing you. And I’m not analyzing you, I’m trying to understand.”
Turning her head to see her Josh, she could tell right away Henry wasn’t going to get far looking for a straight answer from him now. At least, not a good one.
Julia looked back to the older man, pulling in her lower lip.
“It must’ve been horrible. Worrying like that.”
Didn’t she understand that part at least?
“And if your effort to save him worked, but ended up with him in a place that would break him..
Isn’t that worth apologizing for?” She asked.
“So you can be around each other, without him ducking his head and waiting for more admonishment?
What would be the harm??” That part she was really struggling to understand.
“If you did your best and he still got hurt.
Where’s the harm in telling him you’re sorry?”
"—It was my idea."
Suddenly the mother spoke up, firm voice yet still.. haunted.
"I asked, Henry to get him in." everyone had a choice and this was hers. "He wouldn't speak to me. I didn't know where he was. And the times he did call was to ask for money..." with the pretense that it was for school literature that she knew she had given to him to spend on drugs. But once she pulled the breaks on it, she stopped.
Don't call me if you're only going to ask for money again.
"I thought, he would be safe there."
@doctorjulie
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Julia watched Henry's eyes search Josh, and then Moira, hidden behind her hands.
The story?
The story of.. blood and horror, and a green lab tech with no clearance, out in the field? No. She didn't know that story. And she stilled a little bit, feeling like whatever it was was.. a touched nerve.
Somewhere near the heart of whatever this was, and she took a careful breath. "...Have I accused you of something false?" She asked, a light furrow of her brow.
She scooted a little forward in her seat.
"Henry," Because they'd gotten off on the wrong foot, because she had come into this strong. Easily casting judgement on the man who would hire someone young, vulnerable and alone in the world.
And her own ideas about SHIELD.
"I'm not saying I have any doubt, that Josh has made his own choices. And mistakes. I would never say that."
She squeezed his hand.
"And I'm not saying you weren't doing the best you could, to keep him safe." She paused. "People make mistakes."
You're so used to winning this. Do you know, there doesn't need to be a winner?
"A green lab-tech. At twenty-two, a country away from his only family and with a history of substance abuse issues. Suspended from school and under investigation. In the field." That's what he'd said, wasn't it?
Who sent him there?
"Should he have been there?" She asked gently. "You have a part to play. Choices you made.
Was that, an error in your judgment?"
"—It was my idea."
Suddenly the mother spoke up, firm voice yet still.. haunted.
"I asked, Henry to get him in." everyone had a choice and this was hers. "He wouldn't speak to me. I didn't know where he was. And the times he did call was to ask for money..." with the pretense that it was for school literature that she knew she had given to him to spend on drugs. But once she pulled the breaks on it, she stopped.
Don't call me if you're only going to ask for money again.
"I thought, he would be safe there."
@doctorjulie
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She's worried, but reassured in the moment that Josh accepts the touch, holds her hand. She squeezes it back, like willing some of her own resolve into him.
Even if he can't speak right now, he's making no move to ask her to stop, and she takes that as his blessing.
And she's sorry, because she didn't want to spoil a nice meal together, with her in-laws. Doesn't want to sour the relationship, but it occurs to her as she listens to Henry how used to winning this, he seems to be.
Moira was in his corner, but who was in Josh's?
"...You did what you could, with what you knew how to at the time." She nodded slowly, trying to show her understanding of his point.
And then, Moira.
And for a moment, it shocks Julia. That she watches the mother, searching her eyes. Someone who had been afraid, who had been desperate for help for her son.
Who hadn't known what else to do.
"And you did too." She nodded slowly, wanting to empathize with that, wanting to show them that she did. But all the same.
defend until my dying breath.
"...You did what you thought was right, to save him." She looked between Moira and Henry. "I don't think anyone could fault you for that."
But.
She looked back at Henry. "You've never apologized?
Not for the ways, it hurt him?" She asked. "He was in pain, and then he was.. working in blood and horror, and didn't learn another way to live. He'll, carry memories that wake him screaming.
Was it any wonder he'd go back to numbing himself?
Who wouldn't?"
She squeezed his hand tightly. i love you.
"Have you ever thought to tell him.. you were sorry, for the ways that your help hurt him?"
She was ready with a retort about there probably being good reason why Henry’s decision was a controversial one, but she restrained herself to nodding as he described the pushback.
Henry asked another question, and she finds Josh.. elsewhere. Unwilling to answer.
Was he, what was he. Afraid?
Of him?
Julia found her husband’s hand under the table, giving it a gentle poke with her finger. A silent apology for the track she was on, for disrupting dinner, thinking maybe she should stop.
So, it all worked out in the end.
It all worked out.
Her head swiveled back to Henry, watching him eat in smug satisfaction. She wasn’t afraid of him, in the same way she wasn’t afraid of that agent wanting to barge into Josh’s hospital room.
“You credit SHIELD with that?” She asked, locking in more now on Henry. “Because I, I have to credit Josh.”
Must not have told her much, she had to scoff. “Have you not seen him? Even now, sorry Josh, he’s afraid to say a word to contradict you.”
Baffling. Could he really not see it?
“Do you- have any idea? The kind of weight you hold, for god’s sake you’re the closest thing he’s had to a father.”
She stilled.
She was going too far, but she can’t stop speaking it as much as she can’t stop seeing the damage. She wants it to stop.
“And he has overcome fear after fear, because to him family is terrifyingly dangerous.” Have you been part of that, Henry?
“…And I don’t think you’d say that so proudly if you heard his nightmares.”
She just.. couldn’t understand, the crease in her brow and shake of her head as she watched him, and then Moira.
His mother.
Did she believe all this too?
“You took an unrooted.. struggling orphan,
and you sent him to war.” ?
She cleared her throat harshly, feeling a lump form at the thought in her anger, a hand protectively resting against her stomach.
“For the promise of structure.” When I think you know what he needed was family.
“Maybe, he would’ve been embarrassed to end up having to go home. Or, or struggled on like that for a few more years until he found his way. And he is, alright. He will be okay.
But the pieces he has pulled back together to get here, are no thanks—“ She cleared her throat again, set her own fork down to quickly wipe at the angry tears for her husband. “To your course of action.”
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She was ready with a retort about there probably being good reason why Henry’s decision was a controversial one, but she restrained herself to nodding as he described the pushback.
Henry asked another question, and she finds Josh.. elsewhere. Unwilling to answer.
Was he, what was he. Afraid?
Of him?
Julia found her husband’s hand under the table, giving it a gentle poke with her finger. A silent apology for the track she was on, for disrupting dinner, thinking maybe she should stop.
So, it all worked out in the end.
It all worked out.
Her head swiveled back to Henry, watching him eat in smug satisfaction. She wasn’t afraid of him, in the same way she wasn’t afraid of that agent wanting to barge into Josh’s hospital room.
“You credit SHIELD with that?” She asked, locking in more now on Henry. “Because I, I have to credit Josh.”
Must not have told her much, she had to scoff. “Have you not seen him? Even now, sorry Josh, he’s afraid to say a word to contradict you.”
Baffling. Could he really not see it?
“Do you- have any idea? The kind of weight you hold, for god’s sake you’re the closest thing he’s had to a father.”
She stilled.
She was going too far, but she can’t stop speaking it as much as she can’t stop seeing the damage. She wants it to stop.
“And he has overcome fear after fear, because to him family is terrifyingly dangerous.” Have you been part of that, Henry?
“…And I don’t think you’d say that so proudly if you heard his nightmares.”
She just.. couldn’t understand, the crease in her brow and shake of her head as she watched him, and then Moira.
His mother.
Did she believe all this too?
“You took an unrooted.. struggling orphan,
and you sent him to war.” ?
She cleared her throat harshly, feeling a lump form at the thought in her anger, a hand protectively resting against her stomach.
“For the promise of structure.” When I think you know what he needed was family.
“Maybe, he would’ve been embarrassed to end up having to go home. Or, or struggled on like that for a few more years until he found his way. And he is, alright. He will be okay.
But the pieces he has pulled back together to get here, are no thanks—“ She cleared her throat again, set her own fork down to quickly wipe at the angry tears for her husband. “To your course of action.”
The guest bedroom was made up neatly for their guests, her mother-in-law and just-Henry-in-law. The usual care taken, and then some, to make sure the apartment was cozy and ready for them.
Warm side lights and a few of her favorite funky candles in jars decorated the living room area and the dinner table.
For dinner, to send them to bed before their flight with something hearty, the chef had whipped up a salad of spring peas, couscous, lemon and feta, a side of marinated and caramelized trumpet mushrooms, and ribeyes.
The vinyl lazily turning with coffeehouse favorites as Julia filled her glass with apricot juice, shifting to observing Moira, to Josh, to finally Henry.
Henry.
She had many questions about Henry.
"So Henry," And now that they were all alone at the apartment and she figured it was safer to talk about, "You were Josh's.. first boss at SHIELD?"
@fuascailt
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Wasting your life away with—
“You put a gun in his hands.” It just slips out of the dumbfounded woman’s mouth. Her hold on Josh’s knee tightens just a little, the image Moira had painted for her. The one she saw in his eyes sometimes.
That lost boy, with no one. For so long.
The one without his birth parents around, without…
A father.
And her eyes fixed back on Henry, her brow smoothing out slightly. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt. I just find it..” She looked at Josh, worried about trespassing on this for his sake, and then Moira, sensing her uncomfortability.
“He was alone, in another country. Wasn’t he?” She asked, a little more softer, looking for real confirmation.
“If he was struggling to get on his feet, I dunno.. was a strong, um, uh vouch, a recommendation for postgrad, or a… promising med tech startup, or rehab,
attempted? Before?” She asked.
How many other recruits were brought in like that? Did she want to go there? “Was it a last resort or..
Standard recruiting process?”
Because messed up though he might’ve been, how could someone so young still not have a real shot at a normal life, that wouldn’t teach him horror,
and break him from any other path? .
The guest bedroom was made up neatly for their guests, her mother-in-law and just-Henry-in-law. The usual care taken, and then some, to make sure the apartment was cozy and ready for them.
Warm side lights and a few of her favorite funky candles in jars decorated the living room area and the dinner table.
For dinner, to send them to bed before their flight with something hearty, the chef had whipped up a salad of spring peas, couscous, lemon and feta, a side of marinated and caramelized trumpet mushrooms, and ribeyes.
The vinyl lazily turning with coffeehouse favorites as Julia filled her glass with apricot juice, shifting to observing Moira, to Josh, to finally Henry.
Henry.
She had many questions about Henry.
"So Henry," And now that they were all alone at the apartment and she figured it was safer to talk about, "You were Josh's.. first boss at SHIELD?"
@fuascailt
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Her smile spread just a little wider, a hint of that Cheshire cat grin but just a flicker. Wanting to see how much information she could get, and thinking she might just be at an advantage with Henry underestimating how much she knew.
Her knee gently rested against Josh’s, nudging his foot with her own.
It wasn’t that the older gentleman was especially rude, but there was something in the way he addressed Josh that she didn’t especially care for. Or the way Josh had reacted to him and his seeming disappointment at the wedding.
“Oh, you know Josh. Tight lipped.” She glanced at him fondly. She knew it was also his way of keeping things separate, safe.
Henry must be a major flaw in that, having married his mother.
“But I’ve done my share of reading.” She looked back at the man, frowning thoughtfully as she pushed her spring peas around. “Must’ve been awful.
Not… completely a surprise though, could it have been? I dunno. I just remember reading this crazy number,” She gave a soft chuckle at how outlandish this was about to sound, “That no less than fifty percent of staff within at the time were operating on behalf of HYDRA.” with or without that knowledge, but more to the point.
“Could that be right? Fifty?
There must’ve been.. some idea, of a presence within. Not of that scope, but maybe a smaller percent?”
Wide eyed curiosity, she watched him. “Maybe twelve, or… fifteen?
Few enough to still feel comfortable signing on twenty-two year old hires fresh out of school, right?” Of course, obviously.
The guest bedroom was made up neatly for their guests, her mother-in-law and just-Henry-in-law. The usual care taken, and then some, to make sure the apartment was cozy and ready for them.
Warm side lights and a few of her favorite funky candles in jars decorated the living room area and the dinner table.
For dinner, to send them to bed before their flight with something hearty, the chef had whipped up a salad of spring peas, couscous, lemon and feta, a side of marinated and caramelized trumpet mushrooms, and ribeyes.
The vinyl lazily turning with coffeehouse favorites as Julia filled her glass with apricot juice, shifting to observing Moira, to Josh, to finally Henry.
Henry.
She had many questions about Henry.
"So Henry," And now that they were all alone at the apartment and she figured it was safer to talk about, "You were Josh's.. first boss at SHIELD?"
@fuascailt
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Twenty two?
That was.. young. She'd figured Josh had been young, but all the same that was young. It was Gabe's age now, wasn't it?
One of.. many, during his tenure there.
"What, was there a shortage in good management?" She asked with a teasing smile, lifting her eyebrows and looking over to Josh. "Oh, you came to them. Big dreams of curing diseases and being a secret agent."
How had she heard about the agency?
"Oh, when everybody else did mostly. There was a Times article after the Chitauri invasion, but it got taken down almost immediately, so maybe I imagined it.
And then, of course, the fall." She took a bite of her food.
The guest bedroom was made up neatly for their guests, her mother-in-law and just-Henry-in-law. The usual care taken, and then some, to make sure the apartment was cozy and ready for them.
Warm side lights and a few of her favorite funky candles in jars decorated the living room area and the dinner table.
For dinner, to send them to bed before their flight with something hearty, the chef had whipped up a salad of spring peas, couscous, lemon and feta, a side of marinated and caramelized trumpet mushrooms, and ribeyes.
The vinyl lazily turning with coffeehouse favorites as Julia filled her glass with apricot juice, shifting to observing Moira, to Josh, to finally Henry.
Henry.
She had many questions about Henry.
"So Henry," And now that they were all alone at the apartment and she figured it was safer to talk about, "You were Josh's.. first boss at SHIELD?"
@fuascailt
30 notes
·
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The guest bedroom was made up neatly for their guests, her mother-in-law and just-Henry-in-law. The usual care taken, and then some, to make sure the apartment was cozy and ready for them.
Warm side lights and a few of her favorite funky candles in jars decorated the living room area and the dinner table.
For dinner, to send them to bed before their flight with something hearty, the chef had whipped up a salad of spring peas, couscous, lemon and feta, a side of marinated and caramelized trumpet mushrooms, and ribeyes.
The vinyl lazily turning with coffeehouse favorites as Julia filled her glass with apricot juice, shifting to observing Moira, to Josh, to finally Henry.
Henry.
She had many questions about Henry.
"So Henry," And now that they were all alone at the apartment and she figured it was safer to talk about, "You were Josh's.. first boss at SHIELD?"
@fuascailt
30 notes
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