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resident-gay-bitch · 1 year

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seven minutes in heaven? more like seven minutes to question my entire existence.

Whatever you do, don’t think about Steve being content in his bisexuality because after Robin came out to him he started researching and questioning and having deep dark conversations with her.

Whatever you do, don’t think about Eddie having no clue he was gay because of course he wasn’t. And anytime a whisper of that terrifying question popped into his head he blocked it out because he couldn’t be anymore of a Freak, or a disappointment to his father. And he really couldn’t let Wayne down after all he has done for him.

Whatever you do, don’t think about Steve and Robin being sure Eddie was gay and often talking about it together, and about Steve’s definite crush on him and about this game of cat and mouse the pair were playing. Steve was just waiting for Eddie to make the first real move, because he was sick of playing the ‘guy’ in the relationship, and he was sick of doing the chasing, and Eddie was bold and confident and liked to tease.

Whatever you do, don’t think about Eddie having no clue Steve was bi, or that Robin was gay, or about anyone’s sexualities or anything because he just didn’t think about that stuff. He didn’t need to.

Whatever you do, don’t think about the party having a sleepover in Mike Wheelers basement, sleeping bags strewn about the room and snacks everywhere as they played a game of seven minutes in heaven, reduced down to three because they couldn’t be bothered waiting that long for the next turn.

Whatever you do, don’t think about Eddie spinning the bottle and landing on Steve and doing a little pump of his eyebrows because it was Steve, and Eddie was always like that with Steve, they were best friends.

Whatever you do, don’t think about Steve standing up with a massive grin and grabbing Eddie by the hand and practically dragging him into that little basement bathroom because he thought this is it. Its finally happening. Months of chasing back and forth and this is where Eddie was going to make his move. Steve was sure of it.

Whatever you do, don’t think about Eddie taking a laid back seat on the porcelain sink as Steve eagerly slammed the door shut behind them. He lent back against the mirror and started thinking of a fun story or secret to tell Steve because that’s what he did with Dustin, and Max, and El, and Argyle, and even Robin who made it clear they weren’t kissing, he didn’t want to kiss her anyway.

Whatever you do, don’t think about Steve walking over to Eddie in his tight little basketball shorts with a grin and strawberry glossed lips and placing his hands on the sink on either side of Eddie, leaning in close so Eddie could make his move.

Whatever you do, don’t think about Eddie trying to avert his eyes because Steve was so close and ohmygod was it hot in here?

Whatever you do, don’t think about Steve getting a little confused because Eddie was trying to make normal conversation and wasn’t looking him in the eye.

Whatever you do, don’t think about Eddie not understanding anything he was feeling right now because Steve was not supposed to be making him feel like this.

Whatever you do, don’t think about Steve looking at Eddie’s watch and realising they only had one minute left and Eddie still hadn’t kissed him and he was awkward and nervous and looked kind of uncomfortable and maybe Robin and Steve had it all wrong. So he took a little step back and straight up just asked Eddie if he was gay.

Whatever you do, don’t think about Eddie turning red and getting all flustered and trying to tell Steve “No. No, no. I’m not gay, definitely not gay. I’m not, I’m sure… I’m, I can’t be. I like girls… I only like girls. I don’t think… guys are just… they don’t… I’m not…” and trying to convince Steve -himself- that he wasn’t gay.

Whatever you do, don’t think about Steve squinting his eyes at Eddie because Eddie was just so… dramatic about it, and he wasn’t getting offended he was just trying to tell Steve he wasn’t, and he noticed there were only ten seconds left before one of the kids would swing open that bathroom door now.

Whatever you do, don’t think about Eddie feeling a lump in his throat and like he wanted to cry as he tried to talk but just couldn’t get convincing words out and Steve was looking at him weirdly and it just made everything worse.

Whatever you do, don’t think about Steve taking a few fuck it steps forward and grabbing Eddie and kissing him, hard, slipping in a little tongue.

Whatever you do, don’t think about Eddie not kissing Steve back because whatthefuckSteve?! but the moment he felt Steve’s tongue poke into his mouth, his own tongue was licking against it like a reflex and he started to kiss Steve back.

Whatever you do, don’t think about Steve pulling back the moment he felt Eddie start kissing him, a smug smile on his lips as he stepped backwards, one, two, three times.

Whatever you do, don’t think about Max swinging the door open, right on cue and letting Steve walk past her, all smug and proud and grinning, and she looked at Eddie who had pink cheeks and wide eyes and strawberry lip gloss smeared against his lips and he was all flustered and she rolled her eyes, murmuring a little “ew”.

Whatever you do, don’t think about Eddie sitting across from Steve in the circle for the next five turns of the game, legs crossed and pink cheeked and his head hung low when he wasn’t staring.

Whatever you do, don’t think about Steve still smugly smiling because he made Eddie a flustered, quiet mess, and he was very obviously whispering to Robin all about it because they kept looking over at Eddie and smirking.

Whatever you do, don’t think about Eddie not being able to sleep that night because Mike Wheeler’s basement smells like teenage boy, and had constant snoring echoing through the walls, and Steve’s glossed up lips were on his mind.

Whatever you do, don’t think about Robin and Steve laying beside eachother, giggling and whispering all night about their stupid crushes because that’s all they talked about these days.

Whatever you do, don’t think about Eddie getting frustrated with himself and getting up to go have some milk or something, maybe to step outside for a smoke to just clear his head because he wasn’t gay.

Whatever you do, don’t think about Steve noticing and following him up in his little shorts, and popping on some more strawberry gloss, just in case, and walking up the stairs to find Eddie drinking water and looking out the window because he didn’t want to touch the Wheelers fancy fridge and fuck it up.

Whatever you do, don’t think about Eddie still not understanding anything he was feeling, and why he was thinking about Steve’s lips so much, and the taste of his lipgloss, and the feel of him so close.

Whatever you do, don’t think about Steve walking up to Eddie and leaning back on the island behind him, and asking if Eddie was okay.

Whatever you do, don’t think about Eddie almost jumping out of his skin at the sudden sound of Steve’s voice that also happens to give him goosebumps in more ways than one, but promising Steve he was fine.

Whatever you do, don’t think about Steve apologising for overstepping because Eddie didn’t seem fine in the slightest, and maybe he and Robin were wrong. So, so wrong and maybe Eddie was gonna hate him now.

Whatever you do, don’t think about Eddie telling Steve, out of the blue, that he sure as shit wasn’t gay. He couldn’t be. It was impossible, he liked girls, he was sure of it, they were pretty.

Whatever you do, don’t think about Steve wanting to cry, but forcing himself not to.

Whatever you do, don’t think about Eddie looking up at Steve with glossy eyes in the dark of the kitchen, and the faintest whisper leaving his lips as he said, “I wish you were a girl”.

Whatever you do, don’t think about Steve’s heart skipping a beat at that, and the silence lingering in the air as they just looked at one another.

Whatever you do, don’t think about Eddie letting a singular tear fall because he was just so overwhelmed with everything and didn’t know what else to do.

Whatever you do, don’t think about Steve walking up to Eddie, grabbing his shoulders softly and turning him back around to face the window, whilst Steve jumped up to sit on the counter, pulling Eddie between his legs and holding his hands, telling Eddie that he would probably make a very pretty girl if Eddie needed.

Whatever you do, don’t think about Eddie smiling as Steve applied some more of his lipgloss and smacking his lips, and pretending to flick a long strand of hair back from his shoulder, and tweak his voice to sound more feminine as he asked Eddie if he looked pretty. And Eddie said yes, a little too quickly.

Whatever you do, don’t think about Steve slinging his arms over Eddie’s shoulders and asking if he wanted a kiss.

Whatever you do, don’t think about Eddie tentatively holding Steve’s waist as he lent in to kiss him, slowly moving closer, calculated, swallowing, a nervous wreck.

Whatever you do, don’t think about Steve closing the gap that little bit faster and smiling against Eddie’s soft lips, gloss smeared between the two.

Whatever you do, don’t think about Eddie melting into the kiss because apparently he did like kissing boys now, or maybe it was just Steve. But he liked it, and he gripped Steve’s hips and pulled him in closer until their chests were flush and Steve’s hands were in Eddie’s hair and their mouths were wet and tasted like strawberry lipgloss.

Whatever you do, don’t think about Steve pulling back for a breath of air and to check if Eddie was okay because he cared and he felt another tear slip into their mouths.

Whatever you do, don’t think about Eddie chasing Steve’s lips the second they parted, leaning over with his fingers digging into Steve’s sides hard and not letting the kiss stop because he never wanted to stop kissing Steve.

Whatever you do, don’t think about Steve wiggling even closer, and Eddie’s hands dropping to his ass to hold him there, just for a moment and in that moment Steve let out a little whimper of satisfaction.

Whatever you do, don’t think about Eddie pulling his hands back to Steve’s hips because this was all so new and he didn’t want to take it too far yet, whatever it was, but he’d keep that little sound in mind and would remember to put his hands there later.

Whatever you do, don’t think about Eddie gripping Steve’s waist a little tighter because Steve tugged on his curls to deepen the kiss and it made him feel crazy, and he pressed himself harder into Steve because it all just felt so right for once, unlike all the times he’d kiss girls and couldn’t wait for it to be over.

Whatever you do, don’t think about Steve wrapping his legs around Eddie’s waist and locking his ankles together to keep him in place.

Whatever you do, don’t think about Eddie pressing chase little pecks to Steve’s lips and whispering thankyou between each one, more tears slipping from his wet eyes.

Whatever you do, don’t think about Steve wiping those tears away and pulling Eddie back in for another long and needy kiss because he was just as intoxicated by it as Eddie.

Whatever you do, don’t think about Max waking up with the need to pee, but Mike was taking forever in the basement bathroom so she wandered upstairs and heard some weird, wet slapping noise and silent little whimpers and she thought it might be a Demogorgon or something so she peaked around the corner to get an eye full of Eddie sucking Steve’s face off, and she stopped, and scoffed and rolled her eyes and muttered a little “ew”.

Whatever you do, don’t think about both of them turning around red faces and terrified to look at Max, scared she was gonna cry bloody mary.

Whatever you do, don’t think about Max shaking her head and turning for the bathroom and throwing her hands up with a groan and the word “Finally” being shouted.

Whatever you do, don’t think about Eddie turning back to Steve and asking what this meant now, because he was scared and confused and didn’t understand anything.

Whatever you do, don’t think about Steve sweeping hair back from Eddie’s face and soothing his anxiety’s away, and promising Eddie this could be whatever he needed it to, and that he wasn’t alone, he never would be again.

Whatever you do, don’t think about Eddie kissing Steve again because it’s all he could think to do now, and he cried into the kiss because things finally felt like they were clicking into place, and this giant weight was being lifted off his shoulders.

Whatever you do, don’t think about the pair heading back down stairs and curling up under Eddie’s sleeping bag, nimble fingers tracing over Steve’s chest as Eddie kissed his collarbone and neck in the dark.

Whatever you do, don’t think about the party waking up in the morning to find Eddie and Steve tangled up together, Steves strawberry gloss sticky and stuck to Eddie’s cheek and somehow marking his own neck, and then not thinking anything of it because everyone thought they had been dating for months and were glad they finally felt comfortable enough to show it.

Whatever you do, please think about Eddie adding a little rainbow rectangle patch to his battle vest a week later.

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