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rawliverandgoronspice · 6 months

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sorry I'm having thoughts because I haven't slept and when I don't sleep I have thoughts....................

I was thinking about Canon Suave Ganondorf again, and... I think what bothers me, beyond everything discussed, is that... it's not characterization? Like for example take Girahim, which I would argue is also a Sexy Villain. Him being a Sexy Villain is 1) a key factor of his presentation and double-edged creepiness, 2) has kind of a lot to do with his literal objectification and 3) is completely played as such, and Girahim himself has a lot of fun with his own theatrics. I don't mind Sexy Villains, they are a lot of fun and they can even be quite meaningful!

So I am not against Sexy Ganondorf by default. I feel like, if played honestly and not ashamed of its own conceit, it could be genuinely interesting! But I find kind of offputting that his sexualization happens almost exclusively extradiegetically. It's the camera leering, it's the clothes that, while really pretty and cool and interesting, do not actually inform us much about the character wearing them on screen, the behind-the-scenes tidbits that are just... not represented within the world of the game... And so, to me, where Girahim lands somewhere on the Bayonetta scale, TotK Ganon is kind of landing... I don't know, somewhere near "skimpy outfit worn by a character that would never wear something like this if given the choice, and the world doesn't ever question why she would and what that says about her"? I don't know if that makes sense, but, yeah. If you want him to seduce everyone, then. Do that. Make him active. Make him own that weird trait you decided to give him all of a sudden.

But again, given the game is deeply uninterested in Ganon as a person, but very interested as Ganon as an antagonistic object, it does end up feeling weirdly objectifying in that regard too.

#ganondorf #totk #totk critical #when will my brain return from the imprisoning war...#look I actually think it's really cool to have a guy with pretty unusual features in a bishonen world being all the rage #and given the mess that are gerudos there is SO MUCH to explore in that regard if willingly assessed #but #I don't know the guy used to have features that did not prioritize conventional beauty and wear armor that covered up almost everything #and a body shape that wasn't Like This (except for OoT and I'd argue in OoT it was more about showing Power than about anything else)#so to change that and not.... comment on it or have it serve as characterizaton #I know everybody is half naked in this game for some reason so there's also that #but if it was just the outfit I wouldn't be having this conversation #matt mercer has “Thirst Trap Ganondaddy” as his twitter handle and nintendo sure as hell would have asked him to remove it #if they weren't okay with this new perspective on one of their most iconic villains

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golvio · 7 months

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So I've got...some complicated feelings about this. Some of them more analytical, some of them more personal. I get pretty long-winded when I think out loud about this guy, so I'm putting my thoughts behind a cut.

On the one hand, I definitely noticed that TotK's Ganondorf was more preoccupied with his appearance, not necessarily in a stereotypical "vain villain who never shuts up about how beautiful they are" or a "gym bro who spends more time checking himself out in the mirror than actually working out" sense, but in a "he's very conscious about the image he projects and wants to maintain careful control of how other people see him at all times" way. I'm glad I've got confirmation that I wasn't just seeing things. Also, that TotK discusses how he uses attractiveness to manipulate people, as implied with how he portrayed "Princess Zelda," had some really interesting implications about his life as the Gerudo king and his personality and skills in reading people that Nintendo never followed up on, because god forbid we give this character any recognizable traits that could inspire curiosity about who he is as a person or discussions about gender roles in ways that aren't "He pretends to be a cute little white girl because he's an Evil Degenerate."

On the other hand...it kind of contributes to the way I've been weirded out by how the game itself treated him and how certain fans treat him. The game itself made a lot of effort to dehumanize and un-person this man as a character even while making his human form visually appealing. The fans themselves are celebrating this a validation of their seeing him as a sex symbol, calling him "a bi icon" because both men and women are attracted to him, etc.

Like...there's all this discussion about Ganon's appearance and how sexy people find him, but not much consideration of what *he* might want, or how he feels, or what he's attracted to. I know that's kind of a goofy question to ask about a fictional character who can't really have opinions on things beyond what the writers give him, but...it's just kind of...objectifying?

For example, I don't take any issue with headcanons that Ganon might be bisexual, or at least enjoys the attention he gets from people of any gender, since I've got my own headcanons about him being queer, but I do get weirded out by the assumption that just because both men and women find him attractive that means he *must* reciprocate their desires and be bisexual. It's the same thing that weirds me out about fan art pre-release that portrayed him as this airheaded himbo jock because fans wanted to ogle his sexy body without having to deal with his intelligence, his anger, his negative qualities, or his potential dangerousness.

There's this tendency to objectify him in both the game, whether as a "monster" to slay to prove the player/Link's mettle as a hero, or as a trophy to symbolize Rauru's dominon over the frontier territories of his kingdom. And then there's a tendency to objectify him in fandom, presenting him as a pinup devoid of his original personality, or trying to shape him into a "good Ganondorf" that the fans would actually like to be friends with by sanding off all his sharp edges so they can access his body, which they find beautiful, without having to deal with the parts that might complicate that or that they'd dislike.

Fandom as a whole seems to have a blind spot when it comes to the objectification of masculine characters, particularly because it's like, "Oh, BOYS can't be objectified! Only pretty (white) ladies can get objectified!" Nevermind that objectification is a phenomenon that's super commonly done to nonwhite men in tandem with the more overt and violent dehumanization that comes with racism, especially men with darker skin. And there doesn't seem to be much of an interest in exploring what that might mean for Ganondorf as a character, whether just as discussing double-consciousnesses and exploiting expectations to manipulate people, or to explore how being treated like a piece of meat or a pretty ornament who exists only for other people's pleasure can really warp a person.

I guess...this is something I've been thinking about since playing Slay the Princess, which asks a lot of questions about objectification, how people's complexity can be dismissed and ignored when they're shoved into the Love Interest archetype, and how being limited in this way in the eyes of others can seriously hurt and warp someone even if it's being done in the "nicest," most paternalistic and "benevolent" way possible. It presents the core relationship as being a fundamentally unequal power balance; no matter how fearsome and terrifying the imprisoned party becomes, she is always at your mercy, she lives and dies based on the choices you make, and the "nicer" routes are potentially just her saying what she knows you want to hear and auditioning for your sympathy because like it or not you're her warden. It also forces you to ask yourself what makes you come to love somebody, and to consider the possibility of loving somebody while also acknowledging their thorny, messy, contradictory, and dangerous parts. I wish I could see more works considering this for Ganon, as opposed to regurgitating tired old "Destroy This Mad Brute" tropes or turning him into a "safe," palatable, easy-to-digest love interest.

#loz thoughts #ganondorf #racism mention tw

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giriduck · 7 months

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Been processing the recent Nintendo Dream Web article some more. Hot takes under the cut.

Of course Ganondorf would be sexy—just about everyone on BotW and TotK is conventionally attractive. The stated sexiness goal for Ganondorf feels really bad though—not only only because he’s the villain / antagonist of the game who also an in-universe POC, which opens a whole can of worms around fetishization, racism etc. (that many others have written about far far better than I ever could)—but it’s also jarring to hear about a design goal of maximizing sexiness in a LoZ game at all. They literally said the quiet part out loud—and that feels so weird and gross.

Thought experiment: take the excerpt below, but imagine this was about BotW Zelda.

Doesn’t that feel odd framed in that way? An interpretation would be along the lines of, “As a real departure from prior titles, we gave Princess Zelda pants in this game! The pants of a person who really takes care with their appearance: tight-fitting, to show off her curves and figure, like a real princess, whom men and women could fall in love with!” Although they never said that, it has a ring of truth to it, given this new context.

Only Zelda in BotW got to be a character with enough screen time to have real depth, because it was a story that used her as a lens to understand both her life and the world, whereas Ganondorf in TotK was (once again) treated as a disappointingly generic villain. Ganondorf’s lack of narrative development was not only a miss with regard to him as a character, but as an opportunity for some interesting, central-to-the-story / universe, world building. Given this, the interview only makes it extra disappointing that a goal was to also make him appear heroic in his art design, but the final game (as far as I’ve played, anyway) never expanded on that very interesting concept beyond a quick line mentioned in passing.

Evil for the sake of evil and/or sexy for the sake of sexy ends up being disappointingly shallow and reductive. Add in the complexities of real-world racial inequality and trauma, and this can quickly become disrespectful to players. At the very least, if the game creators were inspired by or going to potentially code characters in a way that is evocative of cultures outside of Japan, please bring in a diverse focus group to look at the content and provide feedback. As a large and influential content creator, please do the work to catch (either conscious or unconscious) harmful and frustrating stereotypes before you commit them into your final product.

I actively avoided Breath of the Wild for five years because I was so irritated by the newer Gerudo character designs—specifically the nonsensical lack of clothes and the desert high heels. I was immediately put off by what felt like a fetishy objectification of “exotic” women.

So it is extremely irritating to realize that they consciously did the same thing with Ganondorf.

Personally, Ganondorf’s character design in all his appearances throughout the franchise has been interesting to me—particularly his clothing, jewelry, and everything mentioned in the interview that he presumably would choose to wear—because it’s precious little for us to work with with regard to building our versions of this character in our minds. Accessories and clothing are a window into a character’s preferences. But in my opinion, his art design is also the least of what makes him interesting as a character. Sure, we got glimpses of his pecs and biceps in TotK, but what about his motivation? Canonical insight for why he does the things he does? His perspective on the political / power dynamics of the ancient era? Unlike Zelda in BotW, we never “rode with Ganon” to understand this essential character to the game and franchise at all.

The biggest takeaway I am feeling from the interview is that I really wish that they had spent as much care giving him depth as they had done on his character design.

#totk critical #totk criticism #tw racism mention #totk spoilers

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nolongerapileofashprobably · 2 years

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Ya know that post where someone asks what the hell happened for Link to go from Happy, Lovestruck SS Link to calm, stoic BOTW Link? And how the caption is that he lost a war and everyone died??

But the reality of why he’s so emotionless is even worse. Stoic Link didn’t talk because he felt the entire weight of the kingdom on his shoulders. He wasn’t royal. He had no piece of the Triforce behind his every action. What did he have? A sword that placed him smack at the center of the action.

That was fine really. Botw Link is a beast, before and after the Great Calamity. But he’s also just a kid.

The entirety of the world decided this insanely talented swordsman would protect them and help seal away Calamity Ganon. That’s a lot of weight to put on a kid and not bother to check up on how he was doing. Everyone treated him kindly, for the most part, but no one ever really asked him how he felt.

There were congratulations, assessments, and some concerns brought to him. What else would he do but sort of shrug all of it away because what he thinks doesn’t matter righT? He’s just a kid who wields the sword that seals the darkness. He doesn’t matter. His role is what matters.

And then you get Zelda. She comes in and unlike basically every other person in his life, she treats him unkindly. She’s not fake nor doe she confine herself to the Princess silhouette. She treats him unkindly, yes and I’m not justifying her treatment of him at first, but I’m betting she’s the first person to actually figure Link out.

And she does that by disliking him. Seeing him as everyone else does but that doesn’t make her bat an eyelash. She’s also got this huge responsibility on her shoulders but it’s not as crippling. Zelda is legitimately the heir to the kingdom so she already feels the weight on Hyrule on her shoulders.

And seeing Link struggle with the same thing, in a completely different manner, upsets her until she realizes how similar their situations are. And so she pushes Link to open up to her. She apologizes for her actions. She gets to know Link.

She asks the kid why the hell he doesn’t talk. No one else does. Most people acknowledge and move on, few are concerned, but no one else in Hyrule asks him why he doesn’t talk. Zelda is a brutally honest person and when she wants to know something, she’ll figure it out. And she figures Link out.

Out of all of Hyrule, the only person to figure Link out is Zelda and while that makes my heart soar, it truly saddens me to think about Link before the events of Botw. Before he met Zelda and things sort of spun uncontrollably from there.

This Link was faced with an insane amount of responsibility without ANYONE helping him through it for the longest time. Link’s journey in Botw started a long time before the events of the game and everyone seems to forget that. This Link was just fighting the good fight because that was just the way he was raised. He had no owl, tree, sexy-mysterious ninja, loud & sassy fairies, the literal twilight princess, the soul of a sword created by the goddess Hylia herself, Zelda mentally guiding him, someone supporting him by giving him a weapon, a talking boat/ badass pirate, and every other companion or supporter. He had this sword that he stumbled upon and was thrown into the battle that would decide Hyrule’s fate. He had people who loved him. But that doesn’t mean they ever asked him. Got his take.

Boy had to seriously open up to Zelda when she asked him because he’s not going to not answer but how does he tell the Princess of Hyrule that he’s silent because it’s easier to forget he’s actually a human with emotions if he doesn’t talk and that will make it easier for him to throw himself into battle against this great evil with no distractions and oh my god it just hit me this entire post is crap Botw Link was silent and stoic so he wouldn’t seriously bond with anyone because he was a warrior preparing for a battle that was more than likely going to be his last and he just said “fuck it” when Zelda asked him what was up because he saw that she genuinely cared and if he was going to open up to anyone it was going to be this girl who tried to make him eat a frog, for Hylia’s sake.

This boy was meant to save all of Hyrule from the calamity and the one person he truly confided in was zelda, just as she did with him. Like??? Emotional.

#another post brought to you by my drafts #loz botw #botw zelink #zelink #link botw #botw link #zelda botw #zelink botw #botw #the legend of zelda #the legend of zelda breath of the wild

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smilesrobotlover · 3 months

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skord skord?

Ah yes, another overhated Zelda game that is in my top three. I’ve played this game on the switch and I will say, it’s so much better than the Wii, so if you haven’t played it yet, try to play it on the switch.

Anyways this is one of the few video games that have made me cry. The story is so good and it makes me SUPER emotional. The Link is probably one of the few Links with so much personality poured into him, his relationship with Zelda is super sweet and fun, and the characters and world of skyloft is incredible. The side quests for gratitude crystals is not only wholesome but gets you closer with the residents, so it feels like an island where you grew up with these people. There’s so much to do in this game and I just… AGH I adore it to DEATH.

Groose is easily one of the best characters in Zelda with his incredible development. He’s so complex and insecure about himself and seeing him work through his issues in the game and become good friends with Link is so incredibly wholesome to me. Impa is a strict but sexy awesome character who’s entire story and character is insane to me.

And Fi… she is such an overhated character. Link in this story is super animated and full of personality meanwhile Fi is cold and distant, and these two complement each other so well. And even though she seems to lack personality, she has some moments here and there where she’s being a character, and those moments are amazing. Her saying goodbye to Link affected me more than Midna because you could just feel the bittersweetness. This character is with you through every game with the master sword. And despite not feeling emotions, Fi was happy with Link, and she truly cared about him, just like he cares about her. And I sob everytime. I love Fi she’s one of my favorite companions ever and I wish she wasn’t hated on so much because she doesn’t deserve it.

And let’s not forget Ghirahim, one of my fav characters of all time. He’s such a fascinating and well written villain who rivals Link perfectly! And most bosses in this game are relatively easy to me. But Ghirahim is one of the few bosses that is very hard. He’s not one of those villains that talk a lot of crap and then die in five seconds. He’s a challenge! You’re definitely inexperienced and he’s clearly just toying with you in the beginning! He actually works hard against you in this game instead of sitting around, and the final battle with him, he is truly giving his all, regretting not killing you in the beginning. When he said “what are you?” To Link after being defeated is INCREDIBLE. There was actually a character analysis about him and Groose so I really can’t talk about their characters without talking for five years lol. But yeah, Ghirahim is a GOOD character. And he actually succeeds in what he’s doing! He revives his master! That’s how you know that he’s a genuine threat! Gosh he’s so good

Now for the flaws, alas. The sky isn’t the best? The loftwings are underutilized (Link’s loftwing isn’t even named :/), the world is very small and limited (except for Lanayru, they put all their good ideas into there fr), and there’s a lot of fluff. Like hunting down the song of the hero is just unnecessary to me. Faron is an idiot for not trusting you despite saving her life, then Eldin is just, completely forgettable, and Lanayru is fine. I just don’t like the song of the hero part that much. But of course when you unlock it, that cut scene is incredible.

Another thing is Demise. He sucks. He’s such a boring character to me and he’s way too easy as a final boss fight. Like you see Ghirahim giving his all and then demise just dies immediately 💀💀 but the final boss is the most cinematic boss fight ever so that def is a plus. And I also don’t like the introduction of Hylia. She makes the lore so much more boring and confusing and I wish she didn’t exist. Same thing with demise. Having them there was… a choice that was made and doesn’t answer any questions about Link, Zelda, and Ganondorf. Heck, Ganondorf really shouldn’t be included with them. Sure he’s a reoccurring villain, but he’s the same guy everytime, he’s never reincarnated like Link and Zelda. Unless you want to count that as Ganon but I don’t like that whole idea. Idk, it complicates the lore a bit and I can understand why people didn’t like that.

But otherwise a fantastic game that impacted me SO much.

#asks #you’ll see that my favorite Zelda games impacted me the most emotionally

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sparklesthefatcat · 1 year

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i'm fairly certain this theory is wrong, so this is more of a headcanon/alternate story (that i think makes more sense thematically and fits into botw canon better lol) buuut wouldn't it be a cool twist if the depths are actually the original hyrule? because rauru can't stop ganondorf he seals him away with his arm and then creates a new world on top, which everyone evacuates to. a handful of locations from the old hyrule get saved as sky islands and the new castle has a passage built down to where ganondorf is in hopes that someone can one day actually defeat him (but that knowledge is soon lost to time). meanwhile beneath the new hyrule, ganondorf's malice/gloom corrupts the old land and begins to seep out to the surface, sometimes manifesting in a form that comes to be known as the calamity ganon.

so now we can reconcile this game with botw. the loss of the old hyrule predates the war impa tells us about in botw against the calamity 10,000 years ago. the sheikah study and expand on surviving zonai tech to create their tech, including the divine beasts (modeling them after the sages' headpieces). also this explains why there are so many zonai mines down there but absolutely none on the surface. the depths are the old zonai kingdom, destroyed in war with ganondorf!

thematically it fits better too! rauru gets actual flaws (pride) and we see some real consequences for his actions (pressuring ganondorf to swear fealty -> the fall of his kingdom). zelda gets to actually learn something from the past, instead of just standing there in the background.

and best of all this creates an extremely sexy gameplay/story/setting resonance: there is something dark at the foundations of this land (literally, the depths) and we've been paying the price for generations. but the only way to heal is to light up (literally, with lightroots) our past and learn from it (specifically, learn to make allies and friends, literally with the sage powers), so we can build (literally, with ultrahand) a better future.

#totk #totk spoilers #botw #zelda #rauru #ganondorf #idk what rauru bribed the dev team with to be portrayed as a perfect boring king but im not happy about it!#honestly so surreal that we haven't seen any explanation for the depths in game #i'm not done yet though so the game could still prove me wrong #but i'm not holding my breath #loz

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chain-link-smut · 8 months

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Hello Beautiful Beasties!

Smut-tember 23, Day 27: Gan x Link(Wild) - Come Home

Summary: After attending a Gerudo festival, Link (Wild) has a surprise waiting at home for his lover.

Notes: This is a little snippet of the next big fic I'm doing. Started it over a year ago and haven't touched it in a long time.

Word count: 1,686

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Link was left with his own imagination while Ganon had gone back to work a few days after the festival. He was having a meeting with the Gerudo council, President of Hyrule and his company head advisors. It was supposed to start at 10:00am and last until 2:00pm. Ganon had mentioned that he probably needed to stay later to make sure everything was in order.

Link protested, saying that they could handle one more day without him. When that didn’t work, he came up with a better idea right away. He had a mischievous smile as he easily gave up the protest.

“Oh no, what are you planning?” Ganon had asked.

“Oh, I’m just going to make you wish you would have agreed with me. Hope you have a great day at work babe.” He kissed Ganon and shooed him out the front door with an ‘I love you’.

Now it was 2:30. “Hey, how was the meeting?” Link texted Ganon.

“Boring and not needed. How is your day?”

“Oh, bummer. Should have come home. Mine has been somewhat pleasurable.”

“Still have to work, Link. Pleasurable?”

“Are you sure about that?”

…

“I’m sure I can change your mind.”

“Should I be worried?”

“Very… put headphones on. Would hate for someone to hear me… ;)”

Link wiggled on the bed as he sent the video he had made only an hour before. He played it again with a smile, knowing how Ganon was going to act.

Ganon got a video sent to his phone from his flirtatious Link. When he opened the text the stilled video showed Link, mouth hung open, eyes rolled back, skin red and wet. Ganon turned on his bluetooth headphones, connected them to his phone and pressed play. He immediately had a dark blush on his cheeks. He sucked in a breath as the first sound played.

Link was in their bed, phone set up so Ganon could have a full view. "Ahh Ganon… Ganon!" Link was riding a dildo, one hand pinching an already very red nipple as the other hand stroked himself. Link made so many sounds. “ Mmm, Ganon… I need you here… I need you fucking me…. Ah goddesses… Ganon please!!"

Ganon was now trying to not grab himself to relieve the massive erection he had. The sight of Link being impaled, losing himself thinking of him, saying his name… it was too much. "Oh Ganon! Ganon I-I'm gonna cum!" Ganon's office was sound proof, so whispers weren't going to be heard. He whispered to himself, "Please cum baby, come on." Ganon loved the sight, feel and sound of Link cumming. "Mph, ah ahh AHH-" the video cut off. Ganon was wide eyed, still waiting for the end of the video to happen. Link purposely didn’t show the climax. Ganon groaned and rubbed his face.

"That is a very dirty game you are playing, but goddesses, that was sexy! I want you so bad right now… "

"Well, if you liked that…. You should come home and see what else I have set up for you. It's what I got from the festival and it is quite delicious ."

"... I'll be home in twenty… I'm going to tear that sweet ass up!"

"Few things first… 1. Let me know that it's you when you come home 2. Your goal for today is over stimulation and some torture 3. Don't be too gentle with some of the things I have laid out for you, pain will feel good. Bruises are required! 4. You can reposition me as needed 5. There won't be a safety word (you'll see why) so if I snap my fingers it means stop 6. Don't you dare hold back and you promised me a bite too. With that, I won't be texting back. Hurry up!"

Link put his phone down and bit his bottom lip. He slid off the bed that he already had prepared. The sheet and comforter were pulled all the way to the bottom of the bed and one pillow was placed in the middle for himself. The wrist restraints came with straps that went under the bed. Link loved the fact that the restraints hooked up to a swivel clip so he could be turned over without having to go through the hassle of undoing everything first. It would allow Ganon to manhandle him…

Link started to get excited in his nether region. He ran over to his dresser and took his fishnet briefs and crop top out and gently put them on so as not to rip anything. He placed the nipple clips on and shivered. There was a black chain that was attached to the ends too. He put the collar around his neck, attaching the leash to it, then dimmed the light to where they were almost not on.

Once back at the bed he put on ankle cuffs with the bar. Once secured, he took the gag he placed on the bed in his mouth and put the blindfold on, but not covering his eyes yet. He got his wrist cuffs in order and took a deep breath. He pulled down the blindfold, laid back onto the cold sheets and blindly attached himself to the swivel clip above his head. He was ready.

Ganon pulled into the driveway, not even caring to park in the garage. He left all his work belongings in his car and rushed into the house. “Link? I’m home.” No answer, but the smell in the house said that he was there. Incense were filling the house with a spicy scent. He loosened his tie to take it off, unbuttoned his shirt and went to the master bedroom. The door was shut. He hesitated, heart racing, but opened it.

It was dim, but he could clearly see the shape of his lover on the bed. He kicked off his dress shoes at the door, unbuckled his belt and stood at the bottom of the bed. He couldn’t control his breathing as he looked over the gorgeous man in their bed. He couldn’t believe that Link planned this out and wanted to be at his mercy - or lack of. He looked everything over to see how Link was strapped down.

Something on Ganon’s night stand caught his eye. There was rope, riding crop, lube, the dildo from the video, a mini chest of ice and hot wax. Ganon ripped his belt from his pants and watched how Link’s ears twitched to the sudden sound and his body flinched. He took off his clothes, leaving him in his underwear. He walked to Link’s left and ran his fingers along his soft yet strong jaw, keeping his wrist close so Link could get his scent.

Link followed Ganon’s wrist with his nose, wanting to keep the other’s scent close. When it went away he whimpered around the gag ball. Hearing the low chuckle from Ganon made him groan. He loved that man’s voice.

Ganon didn’t want to go right to the rough things, he wanted to savor every moment of pleasure. Link wanted this and Ganon only wanted his Hylian love to be happy and pleasured. He did say not to hold back, to bite, leave bruises and marks… Ganon wasn’t going to deny Link this and if Ganon was honest with himself, he was going to enjoy it too.

Ganon went to the foot of the bed again and placed a hand on each foot. He slowly, gently touched every bit of skin on Link’s legs. Ganon did have to appreciate that the other also recently shaved his legs and apparently everywhere else too. Every time he went into the inner thigh area, Link would rush a breath out of his nose. He moved his hands to where Link’s legs connected to his groin and followed upwards, dippings slightly into the fishnet covering him. He continued to his hips, across his torso, middle of his chest, up his arm then back down. He gave the chain that held onto the nipple clamps a slight tug. “M-ah.” Link moaned around the gag.

Once his skin had been stimulated, Ganon took the hot wax and checked the temperature before he took the stick that was present in it and dripped the hot wax onto the other's waistline. Link sucked in a ragged breath through his nose and his hips flinched at the heat with a moan. He did this a few more times before he used the contrasting ice to go around Link’s nipples.

The Hylian squirmed, back arching ever so slightly off the bed. Ganon tugged again at the chain along Link’s chest a few times with ice still circling his erect, tender nipples. With a one fast pull, the clamps ripped off the pink nubs. Link let out a cracked moan that borderlined a scream. Ganon took full advantage of the new feeling and dove down to the flat chest under him. He swirled his tongue around the hard nubs, nipping and flicking as he went. He pinched, rolled and twisted whichever one wasn't in his mouth. He spent much time on his chest, causing them to swell. Ganon placed the clips back on Link, adding a little pain to the pleasure.

Next, Ganon slid a hand up to Link’s throat, giving it a squeeze as well as rubbing a hand over the other’s cock. It was solid and ready. His hand went down further to the entrance he wanted to tease, since it had teased him earlier.

Ganon sucked in a sharp breath when something metal met his fingers instead of skin. Ganon felt around, realizing what was. “Mmm… what do we have here?” He knelt on the bed, mouth next to Link’s left ear, hand still on the metal object. “You have been a naughty, dirty boy today my love. You got yourself all ready for me.” He spun it as he pushed slightly in. “Such a good boy for me.” Link moaned. “I do wonder though… how many times can I make you cum.” He bit the now red pointy ear. “Let’s find out.”

Keep it Naughty you Beautiful Beasties!🖤

#loz smut #purely smut #smut-tember #st23 #18+ only #ganlink #ganon x link #ganon x wild #modern au #new fic coming soon

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ndrogyny · 2 years

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why vaati deserves to win the legend of zelda sexyman poll hosted by @an-errorr

1. has Gotten Busy and is therefore qualified as sexy, as proven by cadence of hyrule. only zelda villain to ever do so. proof in the meme below

it's literally the gem on vaati's hat! and it gives immunity to WIND damage of all things!

2. purple :)

3. hasn't gotten any form of love from nintendo or capcom since 2005, the year minish cap released internationally

4. has cool wind powers

5. has a special game over scene where he actually wins! seen here

6. is the second most prominent zelda villain, only beaten by ganon/ganondorf himself, appearing in 3 mainline zelda games! most zelda characters get one mainline game and maybe get put in a spinoff or two

go vote for vaati here!

the rest of the zelda sexyman poll here!

#vaati #legend of zelda #the legend of zelda #tloz #loz #zelda sexyman poll #VAATISWEEP

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amiharana · 1 year

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25 for the revalink prompts? Bonus for not the gerudo outfit

(ask game from here)

part two of You Guys Have the Same Brainworm in my Askbox. but aw darn ya got me anon!!! truthfully, if you want me to write this in canon, i'm not sure what other armor sets would incite the same sort of fluster the prompt implies? like i have a zelda wiki open on the botw armor page and i'm going through it like Hm. Not sexy enough. KJDFHJKDHF but i still wanna write this one in canon so we're gonna take the non-horny route on the definition of 'flustered' instead LMAO

👔 25. Link dresses up just to try and get Revali flustered.

"why in the name of the goddess do you have so much clothing?" revali grumbles, crossing his arms. he's sitting in the middle of their shared roost, surrounded by piles of link's collection of armor, growing more and more as the blond continues warping them out of the sheikah slate. how much could that little contraption hold?

"well, i didn't mean to get this much," link says, tapping at the slate. he holds one of his hands out and in the next second, a pair of opal earrings materializes out of blue light in his palm. "at first, it was just out of necessity. you know zelda left me with only one set of shirt and pants when i woke up? it was way too small and that shit had probably been molding for a hundred years."

he places the earrings on the table with the other jewelry he's pulled out of the slate so far. "i mean, thankfully i found some better pants on the great plateau, but i threw that shirt away as soon as i got to hateno. there's definitely some freak in akkala who got ahold of it somehow, though..."

"and then you just kept buying more?" revali says, peering at one of the piles. why did he have so many of the same green tunic?

"in my defense, i just found some of the stuff lying around hyrule!" link replies, raising both of his hands up in surrender. "but the stealth set is really useful, and the snowquill armor is my favorite of all of my armor." he smiles fondly at revali, and the rito can't help but melt a little bit under his songbird's gaze. "and i look really good in the gerudo top and sirwal." link wiggles his eyebrows at revali, his smile growing mischievous. "wanna see?"

warmth coils under revali's cheek feathers, but he wills it away as best as he can. "maybe another time, when you haven't made an actual nest out of our home," he mutters, looking away.

as he does, one of the armor pieces catches his attention. it's designed with glowing swirls of orange and dots of blue, reminiscent of ancient sheikah technology. "what's this one?" revali says, pulling the piece towards himself. the shoulder ridges sort of remind him of the crest of medoh's head...

link follows his gaze and hums. "that one's the ancient cuirass," he says. "you're supposed to wear it with the greaves over here—" link reaches over to a piece of the other side of revali, revealing matching pants. "and also the helm, but uh... the headpiece is honestly kinda goofy, so i just wear the diamond circlet because it's prettier."

he reaches back towards the table to find the circlet and places it on the head. link then places his hands under his chin and slightly turns his face to the side. "don't i make a prettier princess than zelda like this?"

revali snorts. "sure." he turns back to the cuirass. the orange glow honestly reminds him too much of windblight; the swirling patterns are too similar and he fights down a shiver. he has to remind himself that the sheikah technology had existed prior to the influence of ganon and that it was always meant to be used for good. "what does the helm look like?"

link giggles sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. "well, uh, here's the one i bought from robbie..." he taps at the sheikah slate and something that looks vaguely like the head of a guardian materializes and drops in link's lap. he holds it up towards revali, grinning in a way that looks more like a grimace.

revali blinks once and then his eyes widen, staring in disbelief at the headpiece. "what... in hylia's name is that," he says taking the helm from link. at closer inspection, the glowing blue circles dotting the circumference of the helm are reminiscent of guardian eyes, or like windblight's. revali shivers this time; he decides he doesn't like the helm at all.

link laughs again nervously. "yeah, like i said, it looks goofy and i feel really silly wearing it..." he trails off, looking away before perking up again. "oh! i have other ancient helms that you might like better than this one."

"robbie made more?" revali says, looking up at link.

the blond shakes his head, tapping at the slate again. "nah, he only made that one, and these ones..." he pauses, chewing on his lip. "um... would you believe me if told you these ones fell out of the sky after i defeated the ganon blights?"

revali blinks once slowly and stares at link, searching his face for any hint of mischief. the only expression on his little jewel's face is hesitance and wariness. "and how exactly would they have done that?"

"dunno, i couldn't explain it even if i tried," link says, shrugging. he taps at the sheikah slate again and another helm materializes from blue light, dropping in the blond's lap. but this time, revali's eyes widen. "i have four of these ones and they all look like—"

"what the hell?" revali exclaims. "how— what— where did you—?!" it feels like every feather on revali's body has risen, standing straight up. he probably looks ridiculous right now, but every part of his body is flushing warm with a feeling he can't put a name to. the helm looks like exactly like medoh's head, or perhaps more accurately, a smaller version of it.

link stares at him, frozen in place holding the helm. "uh... like i said, it kinda just... fell out of the sky after i beat windblight..." chewing on his lip, he slowly holds the helm out to revali. "do you wanna...?

revali just stares at the headpiece with wide eyes for a moment. how did link even get a hold of this? it was supposed to be... slowly and warily, revali takes the helm from link and turns it over in his hands until he's looking at it head-on. it really looks just like medoh.

"you said it fell out of the sky," he murmurs, running the tip of a feathered finger over the ridges of the helm, "but why... why was it given to you... and how did it get to you if..." he trails off, finally speechless.

"if what?" link says softly, trying to prompt revali to continue.

"this is the divine helm of medoh," revali says, his voice quiet. "it's supposed to be a treasure gifted to the one who controls medoh. and as her champion, this was gifted to me back then. i lost it during the awakening of the calamity and after windblight took over..." revali resists the urge to tremble. "i don't know what happened to it. how it came to be in your hands is..."

"i don't know either," link says. "i don't know why it was given to me either. i have other helms that look like the heads of the other divine beasts, too. if that one was yours, then i guess those helms belong to the other champions. i should give them back..." the blond fidgets. "do you... want yours back? it's not like i use it that much anyway. it's just been sitting in the slate collecting dust— i mean, if it could collect dust in there, i don't know how it's stored—"

"it's fine," revali cuts him off, his voice soft. he's still staring at the helm. "just keep it with you for now. the role of the champions and the use of the divine beasts is obsolete now, with ganon sealed away. i wouldn't have a use for it either."

"are you sure?" link murmurs. revali looks back at him and his precious little jewel's eyes are wide and shining. revali doesn't know if it's possible to love a person more than what he feels for link in this moment.

"yes, i'm sure, songbird," he replies and hands the helm back. "it will probably be safer with you in the sheikah slate as well. you'll take good care of it, right?"

"of course," link responds immediately. "it's yours, of course i will." he turns back to the sheikah slate and taps at it again. in seconds, the helm dematerializes in blue light, presumably back into the slate. revali wonders then how anything is stored in there; is it an endlessly sheikah-blue space, floating forever in a void inaccessible from this world?

then, link sets the slate off to the side and crawls forward into revali's lap, wrapping his arms around revali's neck. like clockwork, the rito responds by wrapping his own arms around link's waist and holding him flush against his own body.

"i'm sorry," link blurts suddenly.

revali raises a brow. "what for?"

"that i had the helm. i should have realized that it would probably be yours."

revali snorts. "it was, in the past. i'm not sure i'm worthy enough to have it now, failing my role as a champion and no longer being required as one. you don't need to suffer any feathers over it, snowdrop."

"i guess..." link shifts in his hold so that the side of his head rests on revali's shoulder and he faces revali's neck. "but you are worthy. you're always worthy of it, 'vali, even if we don't need champions anymore. i love you, you know that, right?"

"i do," the rito responds softly. "and i love you as well, much more than you could ever fathom, songbird. thank you." he hears link hum, a content noise against his throat. they sit like that, wrapped in each other's embrace quietly for a couple moments until link speaks again.

"wanna see me in the gerudo fit now?"

"link—"

#revalink #loz #botw #loz botw #legend of zelda #ask #ask game #amihan's revalinkverse #the sheikah slate is a clown car and link is its driver #slate anon i love you if you're out there #i used some creative liberty with this prompt sorry that revali was flustered for only like 0.2 seconds n it probably was not what u meant #i feel like the ending is messy 😭 i wanted to demonstrate link being really attentive to revali's pride possibly being hurt #they both have very complex feelings about their previous role as champions and the perception of being a hero/warrior #as people who both failed to fulfill that role during the calamity the helm may serve as a testament to that failure #WELL ANYWAYS.#revali be like how the FUCK did you get this. this is MINE #link is like look shawty i don't know either it came to me in a vision #no you know what i DO like how this turned out #one thing about me is i want to explore the narrative reasons for why anything ever occurs the way it does in the botw world #BUT THE ACTUAL ENDING LINES HEHEHHEHEHDKJHFSJKDF #revali agrees that link Does look very nice in it hehe

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gamingstar26 · 8 months

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Yes, you are exactly right about totk!! A lot of my own complaints come from the story (or lack thereof). To be honest, it's a rare LOZ game that has a particularly complex or nuanced story, but in my opinion, the best ones more than make up for it with their characters.

My favorite game that I've played is Skyward Sword, and I desparately want to play Wind Waker, because the both of them have such fun and compelling characters that I don't really mind the simplicity of the narratives (and Wind Waker even hints at nuance the other games won't dive into!)

Tears of the Kingdom tries to use plot driven storytelling, but... expects us to be far more invested than most of us ever really are. There's hints of character driven story in there, but it all just falls flat in the end and feels really superficial, ESPECIALLY when you look at how they treat the women in this game. Zelda is JUST the sacrificial maiden (again) whose only autonomy comes from choosing to give up her autonomy. Mineru is JUST the smart character who magically technobabbles the solutions. Purah is JUST the scientist that tells you where to go. Most indicative of Nintendo's attitude in this, to me, is with Riju. The way they treat her, it's clear they want her to fill the role of the sexy one, but they know that won't go well if they go all out because she was canonically a young child in the last game. Still really gross, Nintendo you're not subtle.

All this to say that TOTK thinks it's more clever than if is, and fails to pull its own weight in any meaninful way.

All of this!!

I’ll add a bit more that I forgot to add:

Yea usually zelda games have simple plots overall (with some expectations of course) but they do make up for it with memorable characters, etc, etc…

My favorite zelda game is Ocarina of Time cause of the lore (also gameplay of course) and the how interesting it is to me and the overall themes it goes into being tragic and relatable, even tho the surface story is simple overall.(the hero of time games being my favs cause of the story driven nature yet also have fun gameplay) Also other games like skyward sword having a good engaging story with good characters (Groose is the best), wind waker being a simple coming of age story, but also having the king and ganondorf both cling on to the past, etc.

Like you said totk thinks it’s clever and fails to deliver on making us invested in a meaningful and exciting narrative, in a way it’s using tropes from previous zelda games like oot, botw, SS and link to the past without even knowing why they worked in the first place. While failing to reuse tho tropes in a more unique way like previous games have done. It’s true there are hints of character driven story it’s just ignored or mentioned in a half assed way.

Also like I said in the post the lack of consequences with the main story at the end, like Link’s arm just being restored even tho furry rauru had said it was beyond saving, and zelda being recalled back to normal, so her “sacrifice” was not worth it at all (master sword is also worse somehow like wtf zelda)

I’ve also noticed the way totk treats the main women it’s very not good, like you said with zelda she’s just sacrificial maiden turned into a dragon, mineru being exposition dump lady cause that’s all she does tbh, also has the worst Sage ability in the whole game, etc.

zelda being the worst one. (Tbh botw/totk zelda is mixed overall she’s overrated) cause she’s dumb as hell didn’t even recognize that Ganondorf and Calamity Ganon could be related, she does nothing until furry rauru and sonia are dead. Also being a terrible princess, she didn’t even do any meaningful things to hyrule’s rebuilding efforts other than build a school and some small memorials and fuck around doing whatever the hell she was doing pre totk. Also she stole links house damn it.

there’s also the way the gerudo are treated in the zelda series as a whole, but that’s a whole other topic others have done better at that. Like with totk and botw (mostly totk) being helpless yet also warriors needing help from hylians to even survive in their own home?! Like how ingame they explain that zelda of all people was the one to help them get to know the desert and how to survive better wtf? And the secret heroine side quest end, how it’s just some random hylian guy to be the hidden 8th. (There goes the 7 sages and the 8th being the hero of time theory)

Also the way the botw events are treated. they just pretend that none of the ancient tech never existed at all and refuse to mention anything about botw, only in small passes. And the side quest with the Hateno school mentioning the original calamity.

The depths having potential to be better but we’re just empty and massive instead, I like the bargainer statues those are cool as an concept. And the sky islands being boring and copy paste the same few islands throughout.

Holy shit this game makes me write entire essays of complaints. I’m sorry if I repeat myself I’m terrible at explaining stuff at times.

Now I’m going to play the zelda games I’ve never finished to cleanse myself of totk.

#totk critical #totk criticism #totk neg #loz #also the constant repetition of the same few events over and over again #Sage cutscenes being the worst offender #also don’t get me started with the hero’s aspect and the stupid lore implication of it #puppet zelda had more personality than real zelda and that’s just sad #ganondorfs amazing design in totk being wasted on the worst and most boring version of ganondorf to date #some amazing character design wasted on shitty writing that’s just sad #this game legit makes me go on long ass essays cause of how much this game disappoints me #I wish that zelda team listens to these criticisms and makes a better story in the next zelda game #but the future of the series is definitely concerning if they keep going like this #as a big fan since 2011 I hope the series gets better in the story and lore department #I’m critical cause I care it’s not cause of nostalgia ( a bit tho)#this game feels like a terrible oot/botw fanfic au #I did a let’s play of this game half of it was me saying my criticisms about the game without spoiling much #i just couldn't help myself

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arysthaeniru · 2 months

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Hi !! For the ask game, breath of the wild for fandom and zelink for ship 🧐

Breath of the Wild!

Favourite character

I love Riju! I can't help it, I see a child forced to be a leader of her people, left with the burden of the dead on her shoulders and unable to do her task without help, but it too proud to admit it to her people, so she has to rely on an outsider....and I adopt them. It's the same reason Taya and Capella are my faves in Pathologic, haha. But also Riju's remarkably good-spirited about her whole deal, her oracle sand-seal Patricia who only speaks in puns, and a town of adult women who are entirely reliant on her.

Least Favourite Character

Revali. I wish there was a little more going on with this bird to justify his attitude beyond simple jealousy/rivalry, and I've seen some great fanon elaborations on him that I've really enjoyed (esp. regarding his friendship with Zelda, which I've fully accepted into my wheelhouse), but if we're going strictly off canon, he's not got a lot going on, and I wish there was a little more!

OH, but also Purah. Not in terms of her characterization necessarily, but how much she's coded to appeal to the worst types of gamers. First she's my beloathed trope of immortal loli, and then she's THE main fanservice in ToTK as aged up basic sexy girl, and everything about her design and everything squicks me out terribly. She and Robbie are so much fun in Hyrule Warriors, but I hate interacting with her within the BOTW/TOTK timeline, because you always have to deal with all that nonsense.

5 Favourite Ships

This is hard! I don't really ship too many people in Breath of the Wild? I find the world so much more interesting, but like.

Ganon/Link/Zelda - The beating heart of the series and their fascinating/godly destiny/duty ties them altogether, and although BOTW/TOTK outright refuse to give Ganon anything even vaguely resembling a character, I still think it's intriguing! I have so many ideas swirling in my head about how you could only have to tweak a few memories to make Ganon a more justified villain in TOTK that would actually make this compelling.

Cece/Lasli - Fashion lesbians! I think Lasli's practicality would clash interestingly with Cece being a diva, it would be a disaster, but also quite cute, I think! There's of course, the tragedy of Lasli's dead ex inbetween them, that's always fun to explore.

Riju/Yunobo - This is my weird crackship that I really developed while playing the spinoff, Hyrule Warriors, Age of Calamity. Their relationship to their mentors is very similar, their hangups about leadership and their place in their community is very similar, and they both love zooming across the game map. They are also very similar in age! If you play the games in Japanese, where we don't have the weird surfer dub for Yunobo, Yunobo and Riju are both 13 years old, and they're both very endearing.

Paya/Tauro - I love how genuinely positive and cute they are in ToTK! I'm so glad that Paya moved on from her crush on Link and instantly found somebody who actually validates her scholarly and leadership skills everyday, and encourages her to be her best self. They have a fun banter.

Koltin/Loone - Another fun little crackship! The girl who's obsessed with leviathans and guardians, and Koltin, THE monster guy. He knows everything about monsters and thinks they're misunderstood! I feel like they would get along. It's a shame we can't hook them up in-game.

Character I find Attractive

Ganondorf. Duh. He's a handsome man.

Character I would Marry

Teba seems like a good husband and dad. Also he's just very cool, haha. Or maybe Purah? I feel like we'd probably get along.

Character I would be Best Friends With

Gosh, probably Sidon! He's very supportive and nice. I feel like I would thrive with that sort of energy in my life. And I could help him be a better leader. Or Purah and/or Robbie, they're very hectic and manic but real dedicated to their work, and I am nothing at heart, if no a workaholic myself, lol.

Unpopular Opinion

I've seen more consensus agree with me lately, as the hype around ToTK has started to fade away, but I'm very frustrated by the Zonai and the way they handled that! It's so frustrating to see Zelda, whose lesson in BoTW was that her Father was wrong, the kingdom and its tenets were wrong, blind faith was wrong and that it was her love for her friends that saved her in he end--then learn the lesson in ToTK that monarchy is fine, everybody should just attempt to emulate the past, and that everything in the past was good.

I think constantly about the fact that Rauru's four sages, the people who swore fealty to him--have no identities. No names, no faces, no real agency or personality beyond their duty to the sacred stone, and their species. There's something very unsettling about that, and something very unsettling coupled with the Depths, this creepy, hollow, empty place that the Zonai mined out and left nothing in return. The Doylist explanation is, of course, that there are no writing credits on ToTK and they just didn't have the time to flesh out the Sages or the Depths, because they had to move on to making the new Zelda game for Switch 2. But the Watsonian explanation could have been really fascinating, it could make the Zonai more morally ambiguous. These aliens who came to Earth to mine the Earth for power and pulled people into their thrall for that power--which they saw as ultimately a tool to progress everybody's society, but also can be seen from Ganondorf's perspective as something horrifying. What is the worth of progress if it comes at the expense of identity?

But that would involve the writers having to grapple with the colonialism inherent to the premise they are creating here. And they want Rauru to be good, Hyrule to be good and Ganondorf to be straightforwardly evil. And that's sad to me, because Wind Waker and Twilight Princess, to an extent, are about the failures of the old rulers and their approaches, and how our heroes have to do better. And the fact Nintendo refused to do that here thematically makes me sad!

Most badass character

Urbosa! I LOVE fighting as her in Hyrule Warriors, and she's also just such a fun design and cool and supportive at the same time.

Pairing I am Not Fond Of

Sidon/Link. Not that I hate it or anything! I can see it, it's a very plausible pairing, but often a lot of people sideline Zelda entirely when they write it, and that's annoying to me. I don't like when yaoi shippers discard the most important women to a man's life to make it gay.

Characters I feel the Writers screwed up

Ganondorf! Evil brown guy is just evil because he's brown. Very annoying to not even try to make that feel more nuanced in the year 2023, but whatever.

Favourite Friendship

Robbie and Purah! I love their dumb banter and bickering in all of the games. Inventor duo, they hate each other and would die for each other, and when they work together, they can make the impossible happen. I love how much they both fight for credit on petty things, but they do always say the other was instrumental to their success. Their fighting style in Hyrule Warriors, where Robbie is the one piloting their mech-suit, while Purah just perches on the shoulder and shows off when they do their special attack--everything to me!

Zelink beneath the readmore!

When I Started Shipping It

Probably as SOON as I got to that memory in BOTW, where they're in the rain, and Zelda asks him if he had a chance to be anything else other than a knight, would he have taken it? And the look he gives her as he turns back, and the way the scene is framed when he's jolted out of the memory...argh, that's when the brainworms really started. But also I really did like that moment where she tries to get him to eat a frog, after complimenting his ability to tame horses. It's just cute, idk! They're the thematic core of the story. It's about the inevitable destiny of it, and how Zelda bucks against their fated destiny, but Link embraces it, because he is a man guided by devotion and courage, and her wisdom means she knows it's a bad idea--but how can she do anything but love it/him? There's something just a bit doomed to all of their interactions, and it makes me go insane!

My Thoughts (Good/Bad)

I find it bad for worldbuilding as a whole, but fascinating for their dynamic, that Skyward Sword makes Zelda the living incarnation of Hylia, because then you're constantly left with the question: is Link simply extending his devotion towards the Goddesses by loving Zelda, or does he love Zelda and the Goddess separately? Is that even possible to separate Zelda from the Goddess? What does it mean for your temple of devotion to be a person? And in BOTW/ToTK where they are haunted by failure and loss, where there's unspoken resentment towards each other they both have to let go of, Zelda in the past, and Link in the present, that infuses their dynamic with such fun tension, even when they do wholeheartedly love each other and do just get along. I find it tragic, and fun, and sweet and sad all at once. I love a good destined lovers, where neither is entirely sure if that's a good idea, or there's a certain exhaustion to it, because it's inevitable anyway...

Things Done in Fanfic That Annoy Me

When in post-botw fics they have kids, rule the restored kingdom of Hyrule together, and don't seem to have any trauma. They're both feral, they're of the Wild now, and if Link actually loved Zelda and Hyrule, he'd never support her remaking Hyrule Kingdom ever again. They're just not capable of having a happy nuclear family in that way, sorry!

People also make Link SO masculine in such a weird way sometimes in fanfic--no??? Even if you don't headcanon him trans, he's like...so distanced from the kind of daddy dom masculinity that so many fanfic writers seem to default onto a lot of sex?? He's very gender-fluid and I just can't ever see him in that kind of aggressive way. It's always very jarring and unpleasant. I also think people really overplay the enemies-to-lovers of pre-canon BOTW, which sometimes leads to fics where they're like...doing petty revenge on each other or like having dramatic blowouts--which always feels a bit unrealistic to me? I'm very picky about the zelinks I like ^^;;;

I also just hate modern AU in general. They don't make sense outside of the feudal system and those external pressures/divine pressures!! Bodyguard/celebrity will NEVER hit in the same way as knight/princess.

Who I'd be Comfortable With Them Ending Up With, if Not Each Other

Link has vibes with a lot of people! Honestly, in Windwaker, I don't ship Link/Tetra at all! Link and Medli is far more compelling to me. And TP, Midna and Zelda are so in love, and Link's just kind of there, he doesn't even know Zelda xD In BOTW, I feel like Impa/Zelda makes a lot of sense, and Link has chemistry with all sorts: Sidon, Paya, Beedle, all the random NPCs that flirt with him. I'm so rarely a single shipper, haha.

My Happily Ever After For Them

Wandering through the world as travelling diplomats/adventurers, with their home in Hateno whenever they're taking a break, and vacationing everywhere, as Zelda slowly writes her scientific 1000 page dissertation about the nature of the world, and Link writes the ultimate cookbook. The Triforce calls them to duty, but they mostly ignore those urges. They're done with divine duty--they only have duty towards each other and the world now.

#THANKS SO MUCH FOR ASKING THIS REV!!!#hehehehehe #if you're doing this too #i will send you an ask!!! i have questions hehe #i'm not putting this in the main tag because I feel like I have a lot of hot takes #but yes i have lots of opinions lol #i didn't answer the kinks question bc i so rarely have opinions when it comes to sex #usually i know what i DON'T want to see more than what i do #too ace for that xD #meme thingies

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stealthnoodle · 1 year

Text

Ice Pond Thou Art, to Ice Pond Returneth: Let's Finish(?) Tears of the Kingdom

We're finishing the plot, anyway. All of the spoilers!

Sidequest clean-up time! I am getting up to such antics

Monster decorations: check

Freezing my tits off in the desert while holding up a giant mirror: check

House? check!

I'm sorry but I am literally 12 years old right now:

I wasn't going to chase after dragon!Zelda just yet but she appeared literally right in front of me so I figured I might as well hitch a ride on her and make Link sad.

Da-da-da-daaaa in a minor key:

For some reason I'd been assuming I couldn't dye my sexy thunder shawl but nope! What lovely news for me and fashion aficionados everywhere!

Puzzling with the Boner Squad

I'M STILL 12

A lot of people just come out around me! It's a gift.

Sure do!

Truly, no one can resist my charms.

Bitch I DELVED:

I know I said collecting all the bubbul gems would be my Cruella de Vil origin story, so call me Emma Stone because I have lost my entire goddamn mind. Fewer than 20 remain and Koltin is no longer offering me hints for some reason? Whatever, I'm not doing it for him anymore. I'm doing it for ME.

I have looked up a map of caves and I WILL spelunk each one, mark my words

Oh right we got some caves in the GODDAMN SKY, WHERE CAVES DON'T BELONG

I'm fine I'm fine

One more and the eye strain ends. Squinting from the map on my laptop to the in-game map on my TV. Oho, Death Mountain, I see you now!

FUCKEN GOT EM

Shine on, you crazy diamond bubbul gem. Maybe someday I'll smack you around for rupees. Until then, I will think of you and your completionist nightmare sidequest every time I glide through the air with my fancy new paraglider pattern.

Okay I can finish the plot now

I am doing this final stretch of mini-dungeon the way the goddess intended: by throwing down my traveler's medallion and popping back for more sundelion dishes before getting back to it.

At long last I have killed a lionel, and I started with a gloom lionel because why not. Bitch was in my way.

Me when the sun rises before 7:00am:

Let's see how many Ganon phases we get! Dueling Ganon. Big Hair Boner Squad Ganon. Big Hair One-on-One Ganon. Ganon Become Dragon.

Why does everyone but Link get to scarf down a tasty magatama treat? UNFAIR

At least I look good thrashing around between Ganon's giant dragon teeth:

Took me a second to realize what I was meant to be doing but this was a pleasantly cinematic fight phase with lots of catching little rides on Zelda's big fuzzy dragon head.

Game removed my good hat >:( but also removed my shirt :) so I feel like we're half on the same page.

Guess we're not getting an ending where Link joins Zelda on an eternal draconic frolic, which on the one hand, yes, my girl deserves a happy ending, but on the other, "dragon" is a whole new gender spectrum Link should get to explore.

Game ALSO removed my cool arm. :< Now how am I gonna remodel my house?

Grabbing Zelda as she falls would be a lot easier with Ultrahand, just sayin

At this point, is Zelda, like Marvin from Hitchhiker's Guide, older than the universe itself? My girl's been through it

My robot girlfriend is moving on to robot girlfriend heaven. This too is yuri.

And I am moving on to fucking around endlessly, but first, there's only one way I can end this, right?

Back to the ice pond, baby. I made myself a little blue cultist outfit and everything:

That's all, folks!

#stealthnoodle plays loz: tears of the kingdom #tears of the kingdom #totk spoilers #video #apologies to florence + that machine of hers #what a good game #my dreams will be haunted indefinitely by bubbul gems in hard to reach places #no i have still not figured out the actual purpose of the ice pond #no i will not look it up #yes i will probably throw myself into it again

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heavilypregnantdatasoong · 1 year

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oot link is coveted as fuck. oot link my favourite link, followed close 2nd place by twilight princess link. Like wind waker link is adorable and real, but im goffick so ultimately hes my friend but not my beast but wind waker was so fucking good FUN as FUCK game i love it holy shit.

On the other hand windwaker ganon is the best ganon hands down like he became a person in that game he was emotional he was tragic it was fantastic but YOU know in twilight princes hes such a sexy beast i mean homina homina homnia am i right? so . its so so hard to not say TP the best ganondor too.

#loz

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smilesrobotlover · 3 months

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Hyrule Warriors?

Since I did the regulars Hyrule warriors I’ll talk about Age of Calamity :) hope you don’t mind!

Ok, so, I understand why this game is so hated. Nintendo practically lied to us, marketing this as a prequel, which yeah, was a sucky thing to do. I don’t like that either. But…

Idk this game is weirdly special to me dhsksbsksbk. I 100% the game, dlc and all, and when you’re able to look past the fact that they lied to you, this game is pretty good! The fighting when you’re playing the right character is far more satisfying than Hw, and it’s a lot easier for me to play each battle. It was fun to 100%! I like Terrako, I like what they did with Rhoam, and yeah I’ve started to like Astor just a little bit. He’s my scrunkley loser. The introduction of Sooga was super cool and Kogha’s character was just, incredible. Plus they picked the PERFECT voice actor for him.

It’s really annoying how much it doesn’t follow botw tho. Like it’s connected, but not canonically. If I recall correctly, link pulled the master sword when he was 12? So what’s he doing here? Also they just… really tried to force Link and Zelda into the same proximity :/ I didn’t connect much to their relationship in botw but this game REALLY forced it huh. It’s annoying and it’s also disappointing how they didn’t explore Link’s family? Or anything about Link? Like great we have more stuff about Zelda but like, what about Link? Also why does Terrako follow him around when he’s obsessed with Zelda lol?

I also wish that they did more with the champions. Like giving them actual character arcs. I felt like they had so many ideas but such little time to actually explore any of it. Especially revali, who has the potential to being an extremely complex character. I also wish they did more with Sooga. He and Byrne kinda suffer in the same way to me :( I’m glad he’s at least playable in the dlc, but still.

But, I did love young robbie and Purah. The two scientists are so sexy it’s not even funny. And of course Impa is such a beloved omg I love her so much <333 tho she feels mega sidelined at the end :(

Also uh…. Why isn’t Astor playable? Unless I’m missing something but I’m very disappointed that Astor, the main villain, is not playable in this game? Pls if he is playable tell me cuz I wanna play as the crusty man.

Ok sorry I’m jumping all over the place but I did like calamity Ganon, he looked super cool. And harbinger Ganon also looked super cool. Like dang they went all out! And watching everyone fight at the castle was super dope :)

Now, even tho the gameplay is more fun and satisfying than Hw, it’s only more fun when you have the right character. Some of the characters in this game are painful to play as. The fairies, daruk, and Yunobo are ones that I hated playing as. They’re so painfully slow and it’s not fun :/

Idk this game has many good things and many bad things. But I like it a lot! It’s a good one!

#asks

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